No More Learning

But to the point; while hovering o'er the brink
Of Skiddaw (where as usual it still rained),
I saw a taper, far below me, wink,
And stooping, caught this fellow at a libel--[ho]
No less on History--than the Holy Bible.

LXXXVII.

"The former is the Devil's scripture, and
The latter yours, good Michael: so the affair
Belongs to all of us, you understand.
I snatched him up just as you see him there,
And brought him off for sentence out of hand:
I've scarcely been ten minutes in the air--
At least a quarter it can hardly be:
I dare say that his wife is still at tea. "[548]

LXXXVIII.

Here Satan said, "I know this man of old,
And have expected him for some time here;
A sillier fellow you will scarce behold,
Or more conceited in his petty sphere:
But surely it was not worth while to fold
Such trash below your wing, Asmodeus dear:
We had the poor wretch safe (without being bored
With carriage) coming of his own accord.

LXXXIX.

"But since he's here, let's see what he has done. "
"Done! " cried Asmodeus, "he anticipates
The very business you are now upon,
And scribbles as if head clerk to the Fates. [hp]
Who knows to what his ribaldry may run,
When such an ass[549] as this, like Balaam's, prates? "
"Let's hear," quoth Michael, "what he has to say:
You know we're bound to that in every way. "

XC.

Now the bard, glad to get an audience, which
By no means often was his case below,
Began to cough, and hawk, and hem, and pitch
His voice into that awful note of woe
To all unhappy hearers within reach
Of poets when the tide of rhyme's in flow;[550]
But stuck fast with his first hexameter,
Not one of all whose gouty feet would stir.

XCI.

But ere the spavined dactyls could be spurred
Into recitative, in great dismay
Both Cherubim and Seraphim were heard
To murmur loudly through their long array;
And Michael rose ere he could get a word
Of all his foundered verses under way,
And cried, "For God's sake stop, my friend! 'twere best--[551]
'_Non Di, non homines_'--you know the rest. "[552]

XCII.

A general bustle spread throughout the throng,
Which seemed to hold all verse in detestation;
The Angels had of course enough of song
When upon service; and the generation
Of ghosts had heard too much in life, not long
Before, to profit by a new occasion:
The Monarch, mute till then, exclaimed, "What! what! [553]
_Pye_[554] come again? No more--no more of that! "

XCIII.

The tumult grew; an universal cough
Convulsed the skies, as during a debate,
When Castlereagh has been up long enough
(Before he was first minister of state,
I mean--the _slaves hear now_); some cried "Off, off! "
As at a farce; till, grown quite desperate,
The Bard Saint Peter prayed to interpose
(Himself an author) only for his prose.

XCIV.

The varlet was not an ill-favoured knave;[hq][555]
A good deal like a vulture in the face,
With a hook nose and a hawk's eye, which gave
A smart and sharper-looking sort of grace
To his whole aspect, which, though rather grave,
Was by no means so ugly as his case;
But that, indeed, was hopeless as can be,
Quite a poetic felony "_de se_. "

XCV.

Then Michael blew his trump, and stilled the noise
With one still greater, as is yet the mode
On earth besides; except some grumbling voice,
Which now and then will make a slight inroad
Upon decorous silence, few will twice
Lift up their lungs when fairly overcrowed;
And now the Bard could plead his own bad cause,
With all the attitudes of self-applause.

XCVI.

He said--(I only give the heads)--he said,
He meant no harm in scribbling; 'twas his way
Upon all topics; 'twas, besides, his bread,
Of which he buttered both sides; 'twould delay
Too long the assembly (he was pleased to dread),
And take up rather more time than a day,
To name his works--he would but cite a few--[hr]
"Wat Tyler"--"Rhymes on Blenheim"--"Waterloo. "[556]

XCVII.

He had written praises of a Regicide;[557]
He had written praises of all kings whatever;
He had written for republics far and wide,
And then against them bitterer than ever;
For pantisocracy he once had cried[558]
Aloud, a scheme less moral than 'twas clever;
Then grew a hearty anti-jacobin--
Had turned his coat--and would have turned his skin.

XCVIII.

He had sung against all battles, and again
In their high praise and glory; he had called
Reviewing "the ungentle craft," and then[559]
Became as base a critic as e'er crawled--
Fed, paid, and pampered by the very men
By whom his muse and morals had been mauled:
He had written much blank verse, and blanker prose,
And more of both than any body knows.

XCIX.

He had written Wesley's[560] life:--here turning round
To Satan, "Sir, I'm ready to write yours,
In two octavo volumes, nicely bound,
With notes and preface, all that most allures
The pious purchaser; and there's no ground
For fear, for I can choose my own reviewers:
So let me have the proper documents,
That I may add you to my other saints. "

C.

Satan bowed, and was silent. "Well, if you,
With amiable modesty, decline
My offer, what says Michael? There are few
Whose memoirs could be rendered more divine.
Mine is a pen of all work;[561] not so new
As it was once, but I would make you shine
Like your own trumpet. By the way, my own
Has more of brass in it, and is as well blown. [hs]

CI.

"But talking about trumpets, here's my 'Vision! '
Now you shall judge, all people--yes--you shall
Judge with my judgment! and by my decision
Be guided who shall enter heaven or fall.
I settle all these things by intuition,
Times present, past, to come--Heaven--Hell--and all,
Like King Alfonso[562]. When I thus see double,
I save the Deity some worlds of trouble. "

CII.

He ceased, and drew forth an MS. ; and no
Persuasion on the part of Devils, Saints,
Or Angels, now could stop the torrent; so
He read the first three lines of the contents:
But at the fourth, the whole spiritual show
Had vanished, with variety of scents,
Ambrosial and sulphureous, as they sprang,
Like lightning, off from his "melodious twang. "[563]

CIII.

Those grand heroics acted as a spell;
The Angels stopped their ears and plied their pinions;
The Devils ran howling, deafened, down to Hell;
The ghosts fled, gibbering, for their own dominions--
(For 'tis not yet decided where they dwell,
And I leave every man to his opinions);
Michael took refuge in his trump--but, lo!
His teeth were set on edge, he could not blow!

CIV.

Saint Peter, who has hitherto been known
For an impetuous saint, upraised his keys,
And at the fifth line knocked the poet down;[564]
Who fell like Phaeton, but more at ease,
Into his lake, for there he did not drown;
A different web being by the Destinies
Woven for the Laureate's final wreath, whene'er
Reform shall happen either here or there.

CV.

He first sank to the bottom--like his works,
But soon rose to the surface--like himself;
For all corrupted things are buoyed like corks,[565]
By their own rottenness, light as an elf,
Or wisp that flits o'er a morass: he lurks,
It may be, still, like dull books on a shelf,
In his own den, to scrawl some "Life" or "Vision,"[ht]
As Welborn says--"the Devil turned precisian. "[566]

CVI.

As for the rest, to come to the conclusion
Of this true dream, the telescope is gone[hu]
Which kept my optics free from all delusion,
And showed me what I in my turn have shown;
All I saw farther, in the last confusion,
Was, that King George slipped into Heaven for one;
And when the tumult dwindled to a calm,
I left him practising the hundredth psalm. [567]

R^a^ Oct. 4, 1821.


FOOTNOTES:

[492] {481}["Aye, he and the count's footman were jabbering French like
two intriguing ducks in a mill-pond; and I believe they talked of me,
for they laughed consumedly. "--Farquhar, _The Beaux' Stratagem_, act
iii. sc. 2. ]

[493] {482}[These were not the expressions employed by Lord Eldon. The
Chancellor laid down the principle that "damages cannot be recovered for
a work which is in its nature calculated to do an injury to the public,"
and assuming _Wat Tyler_ to be of this description, he refused the
injunction until Southey should have established his right to the
property by an action. _Wat Tyler_ was written at the age of nineteen,
when Southey was a republican, and was entrusted to two booksellers,
Messrs. Ridgeway and Symonds, who agreed to publish it, but never put it
to press. The MS. was not returned to the author, and in February, 1817,
at the interval of twenty-two years, when his sentiments were widely
different, it was printed, to his great annoyance, by W. Benbow (see his
_Scourge for the Laureate_ (1825), p. 14), Sherwood, Neely and Jones,
John Fairburn, and others. It was reported that 60,000 copies were sold
(see _Life and Correspondence of R. Southey_, 1850, iv. 237, 241, 249,
252). ]

[494] [William Smith, M. P. for Norwich, attacked Southey in the House of
Commons on the 14th of March, 1817, and the Laureate replied by a letter
in the _Courier_, dated March 17, 1817, and by a letter "To William
Smith, Esq. , M. P. " (see _Essays Moral and Political_, by R. Southey,
1832, ii. 7-31). The exact words used were, "the determined malignity of
a renegade" (see Hansard's _Parl. Debates_, xxxv. 1088). ]

[495] [One of Southey's juvenile poems is an "Inscription for the
Apartment in Chepstow Castle, where Henry Martin, the Regicide, was
imprisoned thirty years" (see Southey's _Poems_, 1797, p. 59). Canning
parodied it in the _Anti-jacobin_ (see his well-known "Inscription for
the Door of the Cell in Newgate, where Mrs. Brownrigg, the
'Prentice-cide, was confined, previous to her Execution," _Poetry of the
Anti-jacobin_, 1828, p. 6). ]

[496] {484}[See "_The Vision, etc. _, made English by Sir R. Lestrange,
and burlesqued by a Person of Quality:" _Visions, being a Satire on the
corruptions and vices of all degrees of Mankind_. Translated from the
original Spanish by Mr. Nunez, London, 1745, etc.

The Suenos or Visions of Francisco Gomez de Quevedo of Villegas are six
in number. They were published separately in 1635. For an account of the
"_Visita de los Chistes_," "A Visit in Jest to the Empire of Death," and
for a translation of part of the "Dream of Skulls," or "Dream of the
Judgment," see _History of Spanish Literature_, by George Ticknor, 1888,
ii. 339-344. ]

[497]

["Milton's strong pinion now not Heav'n can bound,
Now Serpent-like, in prose he sweeps the ground,
In Quibbles, Angel and Archangel join,
And God the Father turns a School-divine. "

Pope's _Imitations of Horace_, Book ii. Ep. i. lines 99-102. ]

[498] [Walter Savage Landor (1775-1864) had recently published a volume
of Latin poems (_Idyllia Heroica Decem. Librum Phaleuciorum Unum_.
Partim jam primum Partim iterum atque tertio edit Savagius Landor.
Accedit Quaestiuncula cur Poetae Latini Recentiores minus leguntur, Pisis,
1820, 410). In his Preface to the _Vision of Judgement_, Southey
illustrates his denunciation of "Men of diseased hearts," etc. (_vide
ante_, p. 476), by a quotation from the Latin essay: "Summi poetae in
omni poetarum saeculo viri fuerunt probi: in nostris id vidimus et
videmus; neque alius est error a veritate longius quam magna ingenia
magnis necessario corrumpi vitiis," etc. (_Idyllia_, p. 197). It was a
cardinal maxim of the Lake School "that there can be no great poet who
is not a good man. . . . His heart must be pure" (see Table Talk, by S. T.
Coleridge, August 20, 1833); and Landor's testimony was welcome and
consolatory. "Of its author," he adds, "I will only say in this place,
that, to have obtained his approbation as a poet, and possessed his
friendship as a man, will be remembered among the honours of my life. "
Now, apart from the essay and its evident application, Byron had
probably observed that among the _Phaleucia_, or Hendecasyllables, were
included some exquisite lines _Ad Sutheium_ (on the death of Herbert
Southey), followed by some extremely unpleasant ones on _Taunto_ and his
tongue, and would naturally conclude that "Savagius" was ready to do
battle for the Laureate if occasion arose. Hence the side issue. With
regard to the "Ithyphallics," there are portions of the Latin poems
(afterwards expunged, see _Poemata et Inscriptiones_, Moxon, 1847)
included in the Pisa volume which might warrant the description; but
from a note to _The Island_ (Canto II. stanza xvii. line 10) it may be
inferred that some earlier collection of Latin verses had come under
Byron's notice. For Landor's various estimates of Byron's works and
genius, see _Works_, 1876, iv. 44-46, 88, 89, etc. ]

[499] {485}[The words enclosed in brackets were expunged in later
editions. ]

[500] {487}[Ra[venna] May 7^th^, 1821. ]

[fz] {487}_Or break a runaway_--[MS. , alternative reading. ]

[ga] _Finding their patients past all care and cure. _--[MS. erased. ]

[gb] {488}

_To turn him here and there for some resource_
{_And found no better counsel from his peers_,
{_And claimed the help of his celestial peers_. --[MS. erased. ]

[gc] _By the immense extent of his remarks_. --[MS. erased. ]

[gd] _The page was so splashed o'er_----. --[MS. erased. ]

[ge] _Though he himself had helped the Conqueror's sword_. --[MS.
erased. ]

[gf] {489}_'Tis that he has that Conqueror in reversion_. --[MS. erased. ]

[501] [Napoleon died May 5, 1821, two days before Byron began his
_Vision of Judgment_, but, of course, the news did not reach Europe till
long afterwards. ]

[gg] _They will be crushed yet_----. --[MS. erased. ]

[gh] _Not so gigantic in the head as horn_. --[MS. erased. ]

[502] [George III. died the 29th of January, 1820. "The year 1820 was an
era signalized . . . by the many efforts of the revolutionary spirit which
at that time broke forth, like ill-suppressed fire, throughout the
greater part of the South of Europe. In Italy Naples had already raised
the constitutional standard. . . . Throughout Romagna, secret societies,
under the name of Carbonari, had been organized. "--_Life_. p. 467. ]

[gi] _Who fought for tyranny until withdrawn_. --[MS. erased. ]

[503]
["Thus as I stood, the bell, which awhile from its warning had rested,
Sent forth its note again, Toll! Toll! through the silence of evening. . . .
Thou art released! I cried: thy soul is delivered from bondage!
Thou who hast lain so long in mental and visual darkness,
Thou art in yonder Heaven! thy place is in light and glory. "

_A Vision of Judgement_, by R. Southey, i. ]

[gj] _A better country squire----. --[MS. erased. ]_

[gk] {490}

_He died and left his kingdom still behind_
_Not much less mad--and certainly as blind_. --[MS. erased. ]

[504] [At the time of the king's death Byron expressed himself somewhat
differently. "I see," he says (Letter to Murray, February 21, 1820),
"the good old King is gone to his place; one can't help being sorry,
though blindness, and age, and insanity are supposed to be drawbacks on
human felicity. "]

[505] ["The display was most magnificent; the powerful light which threw
all below into strong relief, reached but high enough to touch the
pendent helmets and banners into faint colouring, and the roof was a
vision of tarnished gleams and tissues among the Gothic tracery. The
vault was still open, and the Royal coffin lay below, with the crowns of
England and Hanover on cushions of purple and the broken wand crossing
it.
At the altar four Royal banners covered with golden emblems were
strewed upon the ground, as if their office was completed; the altar was
piled with consecrated gold plate, and the whole aspect of the Chapel
was the deepest and most magnificent display of melancholy
grandeur. "-From a description of the funeral of George the Third (signed
J. T. ), in the _European Magazine_, February, 1820, vol. 77, p. 123. ]

[506]

["So by the unseen comforted, raised I my head in obedience,
And in a vault I found myself placed, arched over on all sides
Narrow and low was that house of the dead. Around it were coffins,
Each in its niche, and pails, and urns, and funeral hatchments,
Velvets of Tyrian dye, retaining their hues unfaded;
Blazonry vivid still, as if fresh from the touch of the limner;
Nor was the golden fringe, nor the golden broidery, tarnished. "

_A Vision, etc. _, ii.

"On Thursday night, the 3rd inst. [February, 1820], the body being
wrapped in an exterior fold of white satin, was placed in the inside
coffin, which was composed of mahogany, pillowed and ornamented in the
customary manner with white satin. . . . This was enclosed in a leaden
coffin, again enclosed in another mahogany coffin, and the whole finally
placed in the state coffin of Spanish mahogany, covered with the richest
Genoa velvet of royal purple, a few shades deeper in tint than Garter
blue. The lid was divided into three compartments by double rows of
silver-gilt nails, and in the compartment at the head, over a rich star
of the Order of the Garter was placed the Royal Arms of England,
beautifully executed in dead Gold. . . . In the lower compartment at the
feet was the British Lion _Rampant, regardant_, supporting a shield with
the letters G. R. surrounded with the garter and motto of the same order
in dead gold. . . . The handles were of silver, richly gilt of a massive
modern pattern, and the most exquisite workmanship. "--Ibid. , p. 126. ]

[507] {491}["The body of his Majesty was not embalmed in the usual
manner, but has been wrapped in cere-clothes, to preserve it as long as
possible. . . . The corpse, indeed, exhibited a painful spectacle of the
rapid decay which had recently taken place in his Majesty's
constitution, . . . and hence, possibly, the surgeons deemed it impossible
to perform the process of embalming in the usual way. "--Ibid. , p. 126. ]

[508] [The fact that George II. pocketed, and never afterwards produced
or attempted to carry out his father's will, may have suggested to the
scandalous the possibility of a similar act on the part of his
great-grandson. ]

[gl] {492}

/ _vices_ \
_In whom his_ < > _all are reigning still_. --[MS. erased. ]
\ _virtues_ /

[509] [Lady Byron's account of her husband's theological opinions is at
variance with this statement. (See _Diary_ of H. C. Robinson, 1869, iii.
436. )]

[gm] {493}

_But he with first a start and then a nod_. --[MS. ]
_Snored, "There is some new star gone out by G--d! "-_-[MS. erased. ]

[510] {493}[Louis the Sixteenth was guillotined January 21, 1793. ]

[gn] {494}_That fellow Paul the damndest Saint_. --[MS. erased. ]

[511] ["The blessed apostle Bartholomew preached first in Lycaonia, and,
at the last, in Athens . . . and there he was first flayed, and afterwards
his head was smitten off. "--_Golden Legend_, edited by F. S. Ellis,
1900, v. 41. ]

[512] {495}
"Then I beheld the King. From a cloud which covered the pavement
His reverend form uprose: heavenward his face was directed.
Heavenward his eyes were raised, and heavenward his arms were directed. "

_The Vision, etc. _, iii.

[513] [The reading of the MS. and of the _Liberal_ is "pottered. " The
editions of 1831, 1832, 1837, etc. , read "pattered. "]

[go] ----_his whole celestial skin_. --[MS. erased. ]

[gp] _Or some such other superhuman ichor_. --[MS. erased. ]

[gq] {496}_By Captain Parry's crews_----. --[_The Liberal_, 1822, i. 12. ]

[514] ["The luminous arch had broken into irregular masses, streaming
with much rapidity in different directions, varying continually, in
shape and interest, and extending themselves from north, by the east, to
north. The usual pale light of the aurora strongly resembled that
produced by the combustion of phosphorus; a very slight tinge of red was
noticed when the aurora was most vivid, but no other colours were
visible. "--_Sir E. Parry's Voyage in_ 1819-20, p. 135. ]

[515] [Compare "Methought I saw a fair youth borne with prodigious speed
through the heavens, who gave a blast to his trumpet so violent, that
the radiant beauty of his countenance was in part disfigured by
it. "--Translation of Quevedo's "Dream of Skulls," by G. Ticknor,
_History of Spanish Literature_, 1888, ii. 340. ]

[516] {497}[Joanna Southcott, born 1750, published her _Book of
Wonders_, 1813-14, died December 27, 1814. ]

[517]

["Eminent on a hill, there stood the Celestial City;
Beaming afar it shone; its towers and cupolas rising
High in the air serene, with the brightness of gold in the furnace,
Where on their breadth the splendour lay intense and quiescent.
Part with a fierier glow, and a short thick tremulous motion
Like the burning pyropus; and turrets and pinnacles sparkled,
Playing in jets of light, with a diamond-like glory coruscant. "

_The Vision, etc. ,_ iv. ]

[518] {498}[See _The Book of Job_ literally translated from the original
Hebrew, by John Mason Good, F. R. S. (1764-1827), London, 1812. In the
"Introductory Dissertation," the author upholds the biographical and
historical character of the Book of Job against the contentions of
Professor Michaelis (Johann David, 1717-1791). The notes abound in
citations from the Hebrew and from the Arabic version. ]

[519] {499}["The gates or gateways of Eastern cities" were used as
"places for public deliberation, administration of justice, or audience
for kings and nations, or ambassadors. " See _Deut_. xvi. 18. "Judges and
officers shall thou make thee in all thy gates . . . and they shall judge
the people with just judgment. " Hence came the use of the word "Porte"
in speaking of the Government of Constantinople. --Smith's _Diet, of the
Bible_, art. "Gate. "]

[gr] _Crossing his radiant arms_----. --[MS. erased. ]

[gs] _But kindly; Sathan met_----. --[MS. erased. ]

[520] ["No saint in the course of his religious warfare was more
sensible of the unhappy failure of pious resolves than Dr. Johnson; he
said one day, talking to an acquaintance on this subject, 'Sir, hell is
paved with good intentions. '" Compare "Hell is full of good meanings and
wishes. " _Jacula Prudentum,_ by George Herbert, ed. 1651, p. 11;
Boswell's _Life of Johnson,_ 1876, p. 450, note 5. ]

[521] {501}[Compare--

"Not once or twice in our rough Island's story
The path of duty has become the path of glory. "

Tennyson's _Ode on the Death of the Duke of Wellington. _]

[522] [John Stuart, Earl of Bute (1713-1792), was Secretary of State
March 25, 1761, and Prime Minister May 29, 1762-April, 1763. For the
general estimate of the influence which Bute exercised on the young
king, see a caricature entitled "The Royal Dupe" (Wright, p. 285),
_Dict. of Nat. Biog. _, art. "George III. "]

[gt] {502}_With blood and debt_----. --[MS. ]

[gu] _A_ part _of that which they held all of old_. --[MS. erased]

[523] {503}[George III. resisted Catholic Emancipation in 1795. "The
more I reflect on the subject, the more I feel the danger of the
proposal. "--Letter to Pitt, February 6, 1795. Again, February 1, 1801,
"This principle of duty must therefore prevent me from discussing any
proposition [to admit 'Catholics and Dissenters to offices, and
Catholics to Parliament'] tending to destroy the groundwork [that all
who held employments in the State must be members of the Church of
England] of our happy constitution. " Finally, in 1807, he demanded of
ministers "a positive assurance that they would never again propose to
him any concession to the Catholics. "--See _Life of Pitt_, by Earl
Stanhope, 1879, ii. 434, 461; _Dict. of Nat. Biog. _, art. "George III. "]

[gv] _Than see this blind old_----. --[MS. erased. ]

[gw] {504}_And interruption of your speech_. --[MS. erased. ]

[524]

["Which into hollow engines long and round,
Thick-rammed at th' other bore with touch of fire
Dilated and infuriate," etc.

_Paradise Lost_, vi. 484, sq. ]

[525] [A gold key is part of the insignia of office of the Lord
Chamberlain and other court officials. In Plate 17 of Francis Sandford's
_History of the Coronation of James the Second_, 1687, Henry Mordaunt,
Earl of Peterborow, who carries the sceptre of King Edward, is
represented with a key hanging from his belt. He was First Groom of the
Stole and Gentleman of Bedchamber. The Queen's Vice-chamberlain, who
appears in another part of the procession, also carries a key. ]

[gx] _Stuck in their buttocks----. --[MS. erased. _]

[gy] {505}_For theirs are honours nobler far than these_. --[MS. erased. ]

[526] [It is possible that Byron was thinking of Horace Walpole's famous
quip, "The summer has set in with its usual _severity_. " But, of course,
the meaning is that, owing to excessive and abnormal fogs, the _summer_
gilding might have to be pretermitted. ]

[gz] _Before they make their journey, ere begin it_. --[MS. erased. ]

[527] [For the invention of the electric telegraph before the date of
this poem, see _Sir Francis Ronalds, F. R. S. , and his Works in
connection with Electric Telegraphy in 1816_, by J. Sime, 1893. But the
"Telegraph" to which Byron refers was, probably, the semaphore (from
London to Portsmouth), which, according to [Sir] John Barrow, the
Secretary of the Admiralty, rendered "telegraphs of any kind now wholly
unnecessary" (_vide ibid. _, p. 10). ]

[528] {506}[Compare, for similarity of sound--

"It plunged and tacked and veered. "

_Ancient Mariner_, pt. iii. line 156. ]

[ha]

----_No land was ever overflowed_
_By locusts as the Heaven appeared by these_. --[MS. erased. ]

[hb] _And many-languaged cries were like wild geese_. --[Erased. ]

[529] [Compare--

"Wherefore with thee
Came not all Hell broke loose? "

_Paradise Lost_, iv. 917, 918. ]

[hc] _Though the first Hackney will_----. --[MS.