No More Learning

[805] _Tabellis. _ Cf. ad x. , 55, "Propter quæ fas est genua incerare
deorum. "

[806] _Hecatomben. _ The hecatomb properly consisted of oxen, 100
being sacrificed simultaneously on 100 different altars. But sheep
or other victims were also offered. The poor sometimes vowed an ὠῶν
ἑκατόμβη. Emperors are said to have sacrificed 100 lions or eagles.
Suetonius says, that above 160,000 victims were slaughtered in honor of
Caligula's entering the city. Calig. , c. 14.

[807] _Nostris ducibus. _ Curius Dentatus was the first to lead
elephants in triumph. Metellus, after his victory over Asdrubal,
exhibited two hundred and four. Plin. , viii. , 6. L. Scipio,
father-in-law to Pompey, employed thirty in battle against Cæsar. The
Romans first saw elephants in the Tarentine war, against Pyrrhus; and
as they were first encountered in Lucania, they gave the elephant the
name of "Bos Lucas. " So Hannibal. See x. , 158, "Gætula ducem portaret
bellua luscum. "

[808] _Ister Pacuvius. _ Cf. ii. , 58.

[809] _Iphigenia. _ Cf. Æsch. , Ag. , 39, seq. , and the exquisite lines
in Lucretius, i. , 85-102; but Juvenal seems to have had Ovid's lines
in his head, Met. , xii. , 28, _seq. _, "Postquam pietatem publica causa,
Rexque patrem vicit, castumque datura cruorem Flentibus ante aram
stetit Iphigenia ministris: Victa dea est, nubemque oculis objecit, et
inter Officium turbamque sacri, vocesque precantum, Supposita fertur
mutâsse _Mycenida cervâ_. "

[810] _Mille. _ στόλον Ἀργείων χιλιοναύτην. Æsch. , Ag. , 44.

[811] _Libitinam. _ Properly an epithet of Venus (the goddess who
presides over _deaths_ as well as births), in whose temple all things
belonging to funerals were sold. Cf. Plut. , Qu. Rom. , 23. Servius
Tullius enacted that a sestertius should be deposited in the temple
of Venus Libitina for every person that died, in order to ascertain
the number of deaths. Dion. Halic. , iv. , 79. Cf. Liv. , xl. , 19; xli. ,
21. Suet. , Ner. , 39, "triginta funerum millia in rationem Libitinæ
venerunt. " Hor. , iii. , Od. xxx. , 6; ii. , Sat. vi. , 19.

[812] _Nassa_ is properly an "osier weel," κύρτη for catching fish.
Plin. , xxi. , 18, 59.

[813] _Solo. _ Cf. i. , 68, "Exiguis tabulis;" ii. , 58, "Solo tabulas
impleverit Hister Liberto;" vi. , 601, "Impleret tabulas. "

"What are a thousand vessels to a will!
Yes! every blank Pacuvius' name shall fill. " Hodgson.

[814] _Nestora. _ Cf. Hom. , Il. , i. , 250; Od. , iii. , 245. Mart. , vi. ,
Ep. lxx. , 12, "Ætatem Priami Nestorisque. " X. , xxiv. , 11. Cf. ad x. ,
246.

[815] _Rapuit Nero. _ Vid. Tac. , Ann. , xv. , 42, Brotier's note.
Suetonius (Nero, c. 32), after many instances of his rapacity, subjoins
the following: "Nulli delegavit officium ut non adjiceret Scis quid
mihi opus sit:" et "Hoc agamus ne quis quidquam habeat. " "Ultimot
emplis compluribus dona detraxit. "

[816] _Nec amet. _

"Nor ever be, nor ever find, a friend! " Dryden.




SATIRE XIII.

Every act that is perpetrated, that will furnish a precedent for crime,
is loathsome[817] even to the author himself. This is the punishment
that first lights upon him, that by the verdict[818] of his own breast
no guilty man is acquitted; though the corrupt influence of the prætor
may have made his cause prevail, by the urn[819] being tampered with.
What think you, Calvinus,[820] is the opinion of all men touching the
recent villainy, and the charge you bring of breach of trust? But it is
your good fortune not to have so slender an income, that the weight of
a trifling loss can plunge you into ruin; nor is what you are suffering
from an unfrequent occurrence. This is a case well known to many--worn
threadbare--drawn from the middle of fortune's heap. [821]

Let us, then, lay aside all excessive complaints. A _man's_ grief
ought not to blaze forth beyond the proper bounds, nor exceed the
loss sustained. Whereas _you_ can scarcely bear even the very least
diminutive particle of misfortune, however trifling, boiling with rage
in your very bowels because your friend does not restore to you the
deposit he swore to return. Can _he_ be amazed at this, that has left
threescore years behind him, born when Fonteius was consul? [822] Have
you gained[823] nothing by such long experience of the world? Noble
indeed are the precepts which philosophy, that triumphs over fortune,
lays down in her books of sacred wisdom. Yet we deem those happy too
who, with daily life[824] for their instructress, have learned to
endure with patience the inconveniences of life, and not shake off the
yoke. [825]

What day is there so holy that is not profaned by bringing to light
theft, treachery, fraud--filthy lucre got by crime of every dye, and
money won by stabbing or by poison? [826] Since rare indeed are the
good! their number is scarce so many as the gates of Thebes,[827] or
the mouths of fertilizing Nile. We are now passing through the ninth
age of the world: an era far worse than the days of Iron; for whose
villainy not even Nature herself can find a name, and has no metal[828]
base enough to call it by. Yet we call heaven and earth to witness,
with a shout as loud as that with which the Sportula,[829] that gives
them tongues, makes his clients applaud Fæsidius as he pleads. Tell
me, thou man of many years, and yet more fit to bear the boss[830]
of childhood, dost thou not know the charms that belong to another's
money? Knowest thou not what a laugh thy simplicity would raise in the
common herd, for expecting that no man should forswear himself, but
should believe some deity is[831] really present in the temples and
at the altars red with blood? In days of old the aborigines perhaps
used to live after this fashion: before Saturn in his flight laid
down his diadem, and adopted the rustic sickle: in the days when Juno
was a little maid; and Jupiter as yet in a private[832] station in
the caves of Ida: no banquetings of the celestials above the clouds,
no Trojan boy or beauteous wife of Hercules as cup-bearer; or Vulcan
(but not till he had drained the nectar) wiping[833] his arms begrimed
with his forge in Lipara. Then each godship dined alone; nor was the
crowd of deities so great[834] as it is now-a-days: and the heavens,
content with a few divinities, pressed on the wretched Atlas with less
grievous weight. No one had as yet received as his share the gloomy
empire of the deep: nor was there the grim[835] Pluto with his Sicilian
bride, nor Ixion's wheel, nor the Furies, nor Sisyphus' stone, nor the
punishment of the black vulture,[836] but the shades passed jocund days
with no infernal king.

In that age villainy was a prodigy! They used to hold it as a heinous
sin, that naught but death could expiate, if a young man had not risen
up to pay honor to an old one,[837] or a boy to one whose beard was
grown; even though he himself gloated over more strawberries at home,
or a bigger pile of acorns. [838]

So just a claim to deference had even four years' priority; so much
on a par with venerated old age was the first dawn of youth! Now, if
a friend should not deny the deposit[839] intrusted to him, if he
should give back the old leathern purse with all its rusty[840] coin
untouched, it is a prodigy of honesty, equivalent to a miracle,[841]
fit to be entered among the marvels in the Tuscan records,[842] and
that ought to be expiated by a lamb crowned for sacrifice. [843] If I
see a man above the common herd, of real probity, I look upon him as
a prodigy equal to a child born half man, half brute;[844] or a shoal
of fish turned up by the astonished[845] plow; or a mule[846] with
foal! in trepidation as great as though the storm-cloud had rained
stones;[847] or a swarm of bees[848] had settled in long cluster from
some temple's top; as though a river had flowed into the ocean with
unnatural eddies,[849] and rushing impetuous with a stream of milk.

Do you complain of being defrauded of _ten_ sestertia by impious
fraud? What if another has lost in the same way two hundred, deposited
without a witness! [850] and a third a still larger sum than that, such
as the corner of his capacious strong-box could hardly contain! So
easy and so natural is it to despise the gods above,[851] that witness
all, if no mortal man attest the same! See with how bold a voice he
denies it! What unshaken firmness in the face he puts on! He swears by
the sun's rays, by the thunderbolts of Tarpeian Jove, the glaive of
Mars, the darts of the prophet-god of Cirrha,[852] by the arrows and
quiver of the Virgin Huntress, and by thy trident, O Neptune, father
of the Ægæan! He adds the bow of Hercules, Minerva's spear, and all
the weapons that the arsenals of heaven hold. [853] But if he be a
father also, he says, "I am ready to eat my wretched son's head boiled,
swimming in vinegar from Pharos. "[854]

There are some who refer all things to the accidents of fortune,[855]
and believe the universe moves on with none to guide its course;
while nature brings round the revolutions of days and years. And
therefore, without a tremor, are ready to lay their hands[856] on any
altar. Another does indeed dread that punishment will follow crime;
he thinks the gods _do_ exist. Still he perjures himself, and reasons
thus with himself: "Let Isis[857] pass whatever sentence she pleases
upon my body, and strike my eyes with her angry Sistrum, provided only
that when blind I may retain the money I disown. Are consumption,
or ulcerous sores, or a leg shriveled to half its bulk, such mighty
matters? If Ladas[858] be poor, let him not hesitate to wish for gout
that waits on wealth, if he is not mad enough to require Anticyra[859]
or Archigenes. [860] For what avails the honor of his nimble feet, or
the hungry branch of Pisa's olive? All-powerful though it be, that
anger of the gods, yet surely it is slow-paced! If, therefore, they
set themselves to punish all the guilty, when will they come to me?
Besides, I may perchance discover that the deity may be appeased by
prayers! "It is not unusual with him to pardon[861] such perjuries as
these. Many commit the same crimes with results widely different. One
man receives crucifixion[862] as the reward of his villainy; another, a
regal crown! "

Thus they harden their minds, agitated by terror inspired by some
heinous crime. Then, when you summon him to swear on the sacred
shrine, he will go first! [863] Nay, he is quite ready to drag you
there himself, and worry you to put him to this test. For when a
wicked cause is backed by impudence, it is believed by many to be the
confidence[864] of innocence. He acts as good a farce as the runaway
slave, the buffoon in Catullus'[865] Vision! You, poor wretch, cry out
so as to exceed Stentor,[866] or, rather, as loudly as Gradivus[867]
in Homer: "Hearest thou[868] this, great Jove, and openest not thy
lips, when thou oughtest surely to give vent to some word, even though
formed of marble or of brass? Or, why then do we place on thy glowing
altar the pious[869] frankincense from the wrapper undone, and the
liver of a calf cut up, and the white caul of a hog? [870] As far as
I see, there is no difference to be made between your image and the
statue of Vagellius! "[871]

Now listen to what consolation on the other hand he can offer, who
has neither studied the Cynics, nor the doctrines of the Stoics, that
differ from the Cynics only by a tunic,[872] and pays no veneration to
Epicurus,[873] that delighted in the plants of his diminutive garden.
Let patients whose cases are desperate be tended by more skillful
physicians; you may trust _your_ vein even to Philippus' apprentice.
If you can show me no act so heinous in the whole wide world, then, I
hold my tongue; nor forbid you to beat your breast with your fists, nor
thump your face with open palm. For, since you really _have_ sustained
loss, your doors must be closed; and money is bewailed with louder
lamentations from the household, and with greater tumult,[874] than
deaths. No one, in such a case, counterfeits sorrow; or is content with
merely stripping[875] down the top of his garment, and vexing his eyes
for forced rheum. [876] The loss of money is deplored with genuine tears.

But if you see all the courts filled with similar complaints, if, after
the deeds have been read ten times over, and each time in a different
quarter,[877] though their own handwriting,[878] and their principal
signet-ring,[879] that is kept so carefully in its ivory casket,
convicts them, they call the signature a forgery and the deed not
valid; do you think that you, my fine fellow, are to be placed without
the common pale? What makes _you_ the chick of a white hen, while we
are a worthless brood, hatched from unlucky eggs? What you suffer is
a trifle; a thing to be endured with moderate choler, if you but turn
your eyes to crimes of blacker dye. Compare with it the hired assassin,
fires that originate from the sulphur of incendiaries,[880] when
your _outer_ gate is the first part that catches fire. Compare those
who carry off the ancient temple's massive cups,[881] incrusted with
venerable rust--the gifts of nations; or, crowns[882] deposited there
by some king of ancient days. If these are not to be had, there comes
some sacrilegious wretch that strikes at meaner prey; who will scrape
the thigh of Hercules incased in gold, and Neptune's face itself, and
strip off from Castor his leaf-gold. Will he, forsooth, hesitate, that
is wont to melt down whole the Thunderer[883] himself? Compare, too,
the compounders and venders of poisons;[884] or him that ought to be
launched into the sea in an ox's hide,[885] with whom the ape,[886]
herself innocent, is shut up, through her unlucky stars. How small a
portion is this of the crimes which Gallicus,[887] the city's guardian,
listens to from break of day to the setting of the sun! Would you study
the morals of the human race, one house is quite enough. Spend but a
few days there, and when you come out thence, call yourself, if you
dare, a miserable man!

Who is astonished at a goitred throat[888] on the Alps? or who, in
Meroë,[889] at the mother's breast bigger than her chubby infant? Who
is amazed at the German's[890] fierce gray eyes, or his flaxen hair
with moistened ringlets twisted into horns? Simply because, in these
cases, one and all are alike by nature.

The pigmy[891] warrior in his puny panoply charges the swooping birds
of Thrace, and the cloud that resounds with the clang of cranes. Soon,
no match for his foe, he is snatched away by the curved talons, and
borne off through the sky by the fierce crane. If you were to see this
in our country, you would be convulsed with laughter: but there, though
battles of this kind are sights of every day, no one even smiles, where
the whole regiment is not more than a foot high.
"And is there, then, to be no punishment at all for this perjured
wretch and his atrocious villainy? "

Well, suppose him hurried away at once, loaded with double irons, and
put to death in any way our wrath dictates (and what could revenge wish
for more? ) still your loss remains the same, your deposit will not be
refunded! "But the least drop of blood from his mangled body will give
me a consolation that might well be envied. Revenge is a blessing,
sweeter than life itself! " Yes! so fools think, whose breasts you may
see burning with anger for trivial causes, sometimes for none at all.
How small soever the occasion be, it is matter enough for their wrath.
Chrysippus[892] will not hold the same language, nor the gentle spirit
of Thales, or that old man that lived by sweet Hymettus'[893] hill,
who, even amid those cruel bonds, would not have given his accuser one
drop of the hemlock[894] he received at his hands!

Philosophy, blessed[895] power! strips us by degrees of full many a
vice and every error! She is the first to teach us what is right.
Since revenge is ever the pleasure of a paltry spirit, a weak and
abject mind! Draw this conclusion _at once_ from the fact, that no one
delights in revenge more than a woman!

Yet, why should you deem those to have escaped scot-free whom their
mind,[896] laden with a sense of guilt, keeps in constant terror,
and lashes with a viewless thong! Conscience, as their tormentor,
brandishing a scourge unseen by human eyes! Nay! awful indeed is their
punishment, and far more terrible even than those which the sanguinary
Cæditius[897] invents, or Rhadamanthus! in bearing night and day in
one's own breast a witness against one's self.

The Pythian priestess gave answer to a certain Spartan,[898] that
in time to come he should not go unpunished, because he hesitated as
to retaining a deposit, and supporting his villainy by an oath. For
he inquired what was the opinion of the deity, and whether Apollo
counseled him to the act.

He did restore it therefore; but through fear,[899] not from
principle. And yet he proved that every word that issued from the
shrine was worthy of the temple, and but too true: being exterminated
together with all his progeny and house, and, though derived from a
wide-spreading clan, with all his kin! Such is the penalty which the
mere wish to sin incurs. For he that meditates within his breast a
crime that finds not even vent in words,[900] has all the guilt of the
act!

What then if he has achieved his purpose? A respiteless anxiety is his:
that ceases not, even at his hours of meals: while his jaws are parched
as though with fever, and the food he loathes swells[901] between
his teeth. All wines[902] the miserable wretch spits out; old Alban
wine,[903] of high-prized antiquity, disgusts him. Set better before
him! and thickly-crowding wrinkles furrow his brow, as though called
forth by sour[904] Falernian. At night, if anxious care has granted
him perchance a slumber however brief, and his limbs, that have been
tossing[905] over the whole bed, at length are at rest, immediately he
sees in dreams the temple and the altar of the deity he has insulted;
and, what weighs upon his soul with especial terrors,[906] he sees
thee! Thy awful[907] form, of more[908] than human bulk, confounds the
trembling wretch, and wrings confession[909] from him.

These are the men that tremble and grow pale at every lightning-flash;
and, when it thunders,[910] are half dead with terror at the very first
rumbling[911] of heaven; as though not by mere chance, or by the raging
violence of winds, but in wrath and vengeance the fire-bolt lights[912]
upon the earth! [913] That last storm wrought no ill! Therefore the next
is feared with heavier presage, as though but deferred by the brief
respite of this calm.

Moreover, if they begin to suffer pain in the side, with wakeful
fever, they believe the disease is sent to their bodies from the deity,
in vengeance. These they hold to be the stones and javelins of the gods!

They dare not vow the bleating sheep to the shrine, or promise even
a cock's[914] comb to their Lares. For what hope is vouchsafed to
the guilty sick? [915] or what victim is not more worthy of life? The
character of bad men is for the most part fickle and variable. [916]
While they are engaged in the guilty act they have resolution enough,
and to spare. When their foul deeds are perpetrated, then at length
they begin to feel what is right and wrong.

Yet Nature[917] ever reverts to her depraved courses, fixed and
immutable. For who ever prescribed to himself a limit to his sins? or
ever recovered the blush[918] of ingenuous shame once banished from his
brow now hardened? What mortal man is there whom you ever saw contented
with a single crime? This false friend of ours will get his foot
entangled in the noose, and endure the hook of the gloomy dungeon; or
some crag[919] in the Ægean Sea, or the rocks that swarm with exiles of
rank. You will exult in the bitter punishment of the hated name; and at
length with joy confess[920] that no one of the gods is either deaf or
a Tiresias. [921]

FOOTNOTES:

[817] _Displicet. _

"To none their crime the wished-for pleasure yields:
'Tis the first scourge that angry justice wields. " Badham.

[818] _Ultio. _

"Avenging conscience first the sword shall draw,
And self-conviction baffle quibbling law. " Hodgson.

[819] _Urna. _ From the "Judices Selecti" (a kind of jurymen chosen
annually for the purpose), the Prætor Urbanus, who sat as chief judge,
chose by lot about fifty to act as his assessors. To each of these were
given three tablets: one inscribed with the letter A. for "absolvo,"
one with the letter C. for "condemno," and the third with the letters
N. L. for "non liquet," i. e. , "not proven. " After the case had been
heard and the judices had consulted together privately, they returned
into court, and each judex dropped one of these tablets into an urn
provided for the purpose, which was afterward brought to the prætor,
who counted the number and gave sentence according to the majority of
votes. In all these various steps, there was plenty of opportunity for
the "gratia" of a corrupt prætor to influence the "fallax urna. "

[820] _Calvinus. _ Martial mentions an indifferent poet of the name of
Calvinus Umber, vii. , Ep. 90.

[821] _Acervo. _

"One that from casual heaps without design
Fortune drew forth, and bade the lot be thine. " Badh.

[822] _Fonteio consule. _ Clinton (F. R. , A. D. 118) considers that the
consulship meant is that of L. Fonteius Capito, A. D. 59, which would
bring the reference in this Satire to A. D. 119, the third year of
Hadrian. There was also a Fonteius Capito consul with Junius Rufus,
A. D. 67, and another, A. D. 11. «The Fonteius Capito mentioned Hor. , i. ,
Sat. v. , 32, is of course far too early. »

[823] _Proficis. _

"Say, hast thou naught imbibed, no maxims sage,
From the long use of profitable age? " Hodgson.

[824] _Vitæ. _ So Milton.

"To know
That which before us lies _in daily life_,
Is the prime wisdom. "

[825] _Jactare jugum. _ A metaphor from restive oxen. Cf. vi. , 208,
"Summitte caput cervice paratâ Ferre jugum. " Æsch. , Persæ, 190, _seq. _

"And happy those whom life itself can train
To bear with dignity life's various pain. " Badham.

[826] _Pyxide. _ Properly a coffer or casket of "box-wood," πυξίς.
Cf. Sat. ii. , 141, "Conditâ pyxide Lyde. " Suet. , Ner. , 47, "Veneno a
Locustâ sumpto, et in auream pyxidem condito. "

[827] _Thebarum. _ Egyptian Thebes had one hundred gates; hence
ἑκατόμπυλοι. Cadmeian Thebes had seven. Vid. Hom. , Il. , Δ. , 406. Æsch. ,
S. Th. , ἑπτάπυλος Θήβη. The latter is meant. The mouths of the Nile
being also seven, viz. , Canopic, Bolbitine, Sebennytic, Phatnitic,
Mendesian, Tanitic, and Pelusiac. Hence Virg. , Æn. , vi. , 801, "Septem
gemini trepida ostia Nili. " Ov. , Met. , v. , 187, "Septemplice Nilo. "
xv. , 753, "Perque papyriferi septemflua flumina Nili. "

[828] _Metallo. _

"That baffled Nature knows not how to frame
A metal base enough to give the age a name. " Dryden.

[829] _Sportula. _ Vid. ad i. , 118. Cf. x. , 46, "Defossa in loculis quos
sportula fecit amicos. " Mart. , vi. , Ep. 48. Hor. , i. , Epist. xix. , 37.
Plin. , ii. , Ep. 14, "Laudicæni sequuntur: In media Basilicâ sportulæ
dantur palam ut in triclinio: tanti constat ut sis disertissimus: hoc
pretio subsellia implentur, hoc infiniti clamores commoventur. "

[830] _Bullâ. _ Cf. v. , 165, seq. ; xiv. , 5. Pers. , v. , 31, "Bullaque
succinctis Laribus donata pependit. " Plut. in Quæst. Rom. , γέρων τις
ἐπὶ χλευασμῷ προάγεται παιδικὸν ἐναψάμενος περιδέραιον ὃ καλοῦσι
βοῦλλαν.

"O man of many years, that still should'st wear
The trinket round the neck thy childhood bare! " Badham.

[831] _Esse. _ Cf. ii. , 149, seq. , "Esse aliquos Manes et subterranea
regna, . . . Nec pueri credunt nisi qui nondum ære lavantur. " Cf. Ov. ,
Amor. , III. , iii. , 1.

[832] _Privatus. _ This is commonly rendered by "concealed,
sequestered," alluding to Jupiter's being hidden by his mother Rhea to
save him from "Saturn's maw. " But it surely means before he succeeded
his father as king, and this is the invariable sense of "privatus" in
Juvenal. Cf. i. , 16, "Privatus ut altum dormiret.