No More Learning

_ If I were Pope I would exhort all Persons to a perpetual Sobriety
of Life, but especially before an holy-Day; and moreover, I would give
every one leave to eat what he would, for the Health of his Body, so he
did it moderately, and with Thanksgiving; and I would endeavour that
what was abated of these Observations should be made up in the Study of
true Piety.

_Ch. _ That in my Opinion is of so great Weight, that we ought to make
you Pope.

_Au. _ For all your laughing, this Neck could bear a triple Crown.

_Ch. _ But in the mean Time take Care that these Things be not enter'd
down in the _Sorbon_ at _Paris_.

_Au. _ Nay, rather let what is said be written in Wine, as it is fit
those Things should that are said over our Cups; but we have had
Divinity enough for a Feast We are at Supper, not at the _Sorbon_.

_Ch. _ Why mayn't that be call'd _Sorbon_ where we sup plentifully?

_Au. _ Well, let us sup then, and not dispute, lest the _Sorbon_ be
called after us from _Sorbis_, and not from _Sorbendo_.

_CHRISTIAN, GUESTS, MIDAS, ERASMUS, the BOY, AUSTIN. _

_Ch. _ Well, come my kind Guests, I pray you that you would take this
little Supper in good Part, though it be but a slender one. Be merry and
good humour'd, though the Supper be but mean and slender. I, relying
upon your Familiarity, made bold to invite you; and I will assure you,
your Company and Presence is not only very grateful to me, but very
pleasant.

_Gu. _ We do assure you, good _Christian_, that we esteem your Supper to
have been very pretty and noble; and we have nothing to find Fault with,
but that you make Excuses for it, for that it was very magnificent; for
indeed I look upon the Entertainment to be splendid to the greatest
degree, that in the first Place consisted of Courses agreeable to
Nature, and was season'd with Mirth, Laughter, Jokes and Witticisms,
none of which have been wanting in our Entertainment. But here is
something comes into my Mind, as to the Number of the Guests, which
_Varro_ writes, _should not be fewer than three, nor more than nine_.
For the _Graces_, who are the Presidents of Humanity and Benevolence,
are three; and the _Muses_, that are the Guides of commendable Studies,
are nine; and I see here we have ten Guests besides the Virgins.

_Au. _ Nothing could happen more agreeably; we are in that something
wiser than _Varro_, for we have gotten here three pretty Maids for the
three _Graces_; and as it is not to be thought that _Apollo_ is ever
absent from the Chorus of the _Muses_, we have very much _à propos_
added the tenth Guest.

_Ch. _ You have spoken very much like a Poet. If I had a Laurel here I
would crown you with it, and you should be Poet Laureat.

_Au. _ If I were crown'd with Mallows, I should be Poet _Maleat_; I do
not arrogate that Honour to myself. This is an Honour that I don't
deserve.

------_Haud equidem tali me dignor honore. _

_Ch. _ Will you, every one of you, do as much for me as I will do for
you?

_Gu. _ Ay, that we will with all our Hearts.

_Ch. _ Then let every one drink off his Cup round as I do. Here's to you
first, _Midas_.

_Mi. _ I thank you heartily. I pledge you heartily; for which the Vulgar
says _Præstolor_. Indeed I won't refuse. I won't refuse any Thing for
your Sake.

_Ch. _ Now do you drink to the rest.

_Mi. Erasmus_, Half this Cup to you.

_Er. _ I pray it may do you good. May it do you good. Much good may it do
you. _Proficiat_ is an out of the Way Word.

_Ch. _ Why does the Cup stand still? Why does it not go about? Is our
Wine gone? Where are your Eyes, you Rascal? Run quickly, fetch two
Quarts of the same Wine.

_Boy. Erasmus_, your humble Servant, there is one wants to speak with
you at the Door.

_Er. _ Who is it?

_Boy. _ He says he is one Mr. _More_'s, Man, his Master is come out of
_Britain_, and he desires you would make him a Visit, because he sets
out for _Germany_ to-Morrow by Break of Day.

_Er. Christian_, gather the Reckoning, for I must be going.

_Ch. _ The Reckoning, most learned _Erasmus_, of this Supper, I will
discharge that. You have no Need to put your Hand in your Pocket. I
thank you that you honour'd me with your Company; but I am sorry you are
called away before the Comedy is ended.

_Er. _ Have I any Thing more to do but to bid you _Farewell and be
merry? _

_Ch. _ Farewell, we can't take it amiss, because you don't leave a
Shoulder of Mutton for a Sheep's-Head, but go from Friends to a better
Friend.

_Er. _ And I in like Manner return you my Thanks, that you have been so
kind as to invite me to this most pleasant Entertainment. My very good
Friends, fare ye well. Drink heartily, and live merrily.

_Ch. _ Soho, _Dromo_. You, all of you, have sitten still a good While.
Does any Body please to have any Thing else?

_Gu. _ Nothing at all. We have eat very plentifully.

_Ch. _ Then take away these Things, and set on the Desert. Change the
Trenchers and the Plates. Take up my Knife that is fallen down. Pour
some Wine over the Pears. Here are some early ripe Mulberries that grew
in my own Garden.

_Gu. _ They will be the better for being of your own Growth.

_Ch. _ Here are some wheaten Plumbs: See, here are Damascens, a rare
Sight with us: See, here are mellow Apples; and here is a new Sort of an
Apple, the Stock of which I set with my own Hands; and Chestnuts, and
all Kinds of Delicacies, which our Gardens produce plentifully.

_Au. _ But here are no Flowers.

_Ch. _ They are _French_ Entertainments, who love that Sort of Splendor
most that costs least; but that is not my Humour.

_Au. _ 'Tis not only among _Frenchmen_ that you will find those that love
what is of little Cost.

_Ch. _ But hark you, _Austin_, do you think to come off so? What, won't
you pledge me when I drink to you? You ought to have taken off Half the
Cup of him that drank to you.

_Au. _ He excused me for that a great While ago. He discharg'd me of that
Obligation.

_Ch. _ Pray who gave him that Power? The Pope himself can hardly dispense
with this Obligation. You know the ancient Law of Drinking, _Either
drink or go your Way_.

_Au. _ He that an Oath is made to has Power to suspend it, and especially
he, whose Concern it was to have it kept.

_Ch. _ But it is the Duty of all Guests to observe Laws inviolably.

_Au. _ Well, come on, since this is the _German_ Custom, I'll drink what
is left. But what Business have you with me?

_Ch. _ You must pay for all. Why do you look pale? Don't be afraid, you
may do it very easily, do as you have often done, that by some Elegancy
we may rise from Table more learned; nor are you ignorant that the
Ancients over the second Course used to dispute of some more diverting
Subjects. Come on then, by what, and after how many Ways may this
Sentence be vary'd, _Indignum auditu? _


* * * * *

_It is not worth hearing. The Form. _

_Au. _ You have very fitly made Use of the latter Supine. It is not worth
hearing. It is unworthy to be heard. It is not worthy to be heard. It is
so light it ought not to be heard. It is scarce worth While to relate.
It is not of such Value as to be heard. It is too silly to be heard. It
is not worth While to tell it.

_Ch. _ How many Ways may this Sentence be turn'd, _Magno mihi constat? _

* * * * *

_The Ratio of varying this Sentence. _

_Magno mihi constat. _

_Au. _ By these Words, _impendo, insumo, impertio, constat_, as: I have
taken Pains much in teaching you. I have taken much Pains in that
Matter. I have not spent less Money than I have Care upon that Matter. I
have not spent a little Money, but much Time, and very much Labour, and
some Study. I have spent much Study. This Thing has cost me many a
Night's Sleep, much Sweat, much Endeavour, very much Labour, a great
Expence, a great Deal of Money. It has cost me more than you believe. My
Wife stands me in less than my Horse.

_Ch. _ But what is the meaning, _Austin_, that you put sometimes an
Ablative, and sometimes a Genitive Case to the Verb _constat_?

_Au. _ You have stated a very useful and very copious Question. But that
I may not be troublesome to the Company by my too much Talk, I will
dispatch it in a few Words. But I desire to hear every Man's Opinion,
that I may not be troublesome to any Man, as I have said.

_Ch. _ But why may not the Damsels desire the same?

_Au. _ Indeed they do nothing else but hear. I'll attempt it with
_Grammatica_'s Assistance. "You know that Verbs of buying and selling,
and some others, are of a like Signification, to which these Genitives
are put alone, without Substantives, _tanti, quanti, pluris, minoris,
tantidem, quantivis, quanticunque_: But in Case Substantives be not
added, which, if they happen to be put, they are both turned into the
Ablative Case; so that if a certain Price be set down, you put it in the
Ablative Case; if by an Adjective put substantively, you put it in the
Ablative Case, unless you had rather make Use of an Adverb. "

_Ch. _ What are those Verbs that you speak of?

_Au. _ "They are commonly _emo, mereor; redimo_, (that is a Thing either
taken or lost) _vendo, venundo; revendo_, (that is, I sell again that
which was sold to me) _veneo_, (that is, I am sold) whose Prater Tense
is _venivi_, or _venii_, the Supine _venum_; hence comes _venalis_; and
from that, _i. e. _ _vendo_, comes _vendibilis; mereo_, for _inservio et
stipendium_ _facio_, _i. e. _ to serve under (as a Soldier). _Comparo_,
that is, to buy, or commit. _Computo_, I change, I exchange with.
_Cambire_ is wholly barbarous in this Sense. _Æstimo_, to tax. _Indico_,
for I estimate, rate. _Liceor, liceris; licitor, licitaris_, to cheapen,
to bid. _Distrahor_, _i. e. _ I am carried about to be sold. _Metior_, for
I estimate or rate. _Constat_, for it is bought. _Conducere_, to let to
hire. _Fænero_, I put to Interest. _Fæneror_, I take at Interest (to
Usury. ) _Paciscor, pactus sum pango, pepigi_, _i. e. _ I make a Bargain. "

_Ch. _ Give an Example.

* * * * *

_Of selling and buying. _

_The Forms. _

_Au. _ How much do you lett that Field for by the Year. We will answer.
For twenty _French_ Pounds. Whoo! You lett it too dear. Nay, I have lett
it for more before now. But I would not give so much for it. If you hire
it for less I'll be hang'd.
Nay, your Neighbour _Chremes_ offer'd me a
Field, and asks for it--How much? Just as much as you ask for yours.
But it is much better. That's a Lye. I do as they use to do who cheapen
a Thing. Do you keep it yourself at that Price. What, do you cheapen,
ask the Price, when you won't buy any Thing. Whatsoever you shall lett
it me for shall be paid you very honestly.

_Of Selling and Buying. _

_Another Example. _

How much do you sell that Conger Eel for?

_Syra. _ For five Pence. That's too much, you nasty Jade. Nay, 'tis too
little, no Body will sell you for less. Upon my Life it cost me as much
within a Trifle. You Witch, you tell a Lie, that you may sell it for
twice or three Times as much as it cost you. Ay, I'll sell it for a
hundred Times as much if I can, but I can't find such Fools. What if I
should ask the Price of yourself? What do you value yourself at?
According as I like the Person. What do you prize yourself at? What
Price do you set upon yourself? Tell me, what Price do you rate yourself
at? Ten Shillings. Whoo, so much? O strange! Do you value me at less?
Time was when I have had as much for one Night. I believe you may, but I
believe you an't now worth so much as a Fish by a great Deal. Go hang
yourself, you Pimp. I value you as little as you do me. He that shall
give a Farthing for you buys you too dear. But I'll be sold for more, or
I won't be sold at all. If you would be sold at a great Rate you must
get you a Mask, for those Wrinkles in your Forehead won't let you be
sold for much. He that won't give so much for me shan't have me. I would
not give a Straw for you. I cost more.

_A third Example. _

I have been at an Auction to-Day. Say you so? I bid Money for a Share in
the Customs. But how much? Ten Thousand Pound. Whoo! what, so much?
There were those that bid a great Deal more; very few that offer'd less.
Well, and who had the Place at last? _Chremes_, your Wife's great
Friend. But guess what it was sold for. Ten. Nay, fifteen. O good God! I
would not give Half so much for him and all his Family together. But he
would give twice as much for your Wife. "Do you take Notice, that in all
these, wheresoever there is a Substantive of the Price, that is put in
the Ablative Case; but that the rest are either put in the Genitive
Case, or are changed into Adverbs. You have never heard a Comparative
without a Substantive, except in these two, _pluris_, and _minoris_.
There are some other Verbs, of which we have spoken, that are not very
much unlike these, _sum, facio, habeo, duco, æstimo, pendo_, which
signify (in a Manner) the same Thing; likewise _fio_, and they are for
the most Part join'd with these Genitives, _multi, parvi, magni, pluris,
plurimi, minoris, minimi, maximi, tanti, quanti, flocci, pili, nihili,
nauci, hujus_, and any other like them. " _Ch. _ Give Examples.

_Of valuing. The Form. _

_Au. _ Do you know how much I have always valu'd you? You will always be
made of such Account by Men as you make Account of Virtue. Gold is
valued at a great Rate now a-Days, Learning is valued at a very little,
or just nothing at all. I value Gold less than you think for. I don't
value your Threats of a Rush. I make a very little Account of your
Promises. I don't value you of a Hair. If Wisdom were but valued at so
great a Rate as Money, no Body would want Gold. With us, Gold without
Wisdom is esteem'd to be of more Worth than Wisdom without Gold. I
esteem you at a greater Rate, because you are learned. You will be the
less esteem'd on here because you don't know how to lye. Here are a
great many that will persuade you that Black is White. I set the
greater Value upon you because you love Learning. So much as you have,
so much you shall be esteem'd by all Men; so much as you have, so much
you shall be accounted of every where. It is no Matter what you are
accounted, but what you are. I value my _Christian_ above any Man else
in the World. "There are some other Verbs found with these Genitives and
Ablatives, which in their own Nature don't signify buying, or anything
like it. " _Peter_ bought a Kiss of the Maid for a Shilling. Much good
may it do him. I would not kiss at that Rate. How much do you play for?
What did you pay for Supper? We read of some that have spent Six hundred
Sesterces for a Supper. But the _French_ often sup for a Half-penny.
What Price does _Faustus_ teach for? A very small Matter. But for more
than _Delius_. For how much then? For nineteen Guineas. I won't learn to
lye at so dear a Rate. _Phædria_ in _Terence_ lost both his Substance
and himself. But I would not love at that Rate. Some Persons pay a great
Price for sleeping. _Demosthenes_ had more for holding his Tongue than
others had for speaking. I pray you to take it in good Part. "There is
another Sort of Verbs, that require an Accusative Case, with a Genitive
or Ablative, which are, _accuso_, _i. e. _ I object a Crime, or _culpo_,
also one that's absent; _Incuso_, _i. e. _ I blame without Judgment;
_arguo_, I reprehend, _insimulo_, _i. e. _ I throw in a Suspicion of a
Fault. _Postulo_, _i. e. _ I require you to answer at Law, _accerso_, I
impeach, _damno_, I condemn, I pronounce him to be in Fault. _Admoneo_,
I admonish. "

_Ch. _ For Example Sake?

_Forms of Accusing. _

_Au. Scipio_ is accused of courting the Populace. Thou who art the most
impudent, accusest me of Impudence. _Lepidus_ is accused of Bribery. You
are accus'd of a capital Crime. If you shall slily insinuate a Man to
be guilty of Covetousness, you shall hear that which is worse again. Put
him in Mind of his former Fortune. Men are put in Mind of their
Condition, by that very Word. Put _Lepidus_ in Mind of his Promise.
"There are many that admit of a double Accusative Case. I teach thee
Letters. He entreats you to pardon him. I will unteach thee those
Manners. "

"Here I must put you in Mind of that Matter, that in these the Passives
also obtain a second Accusative Case. The others will have a Genitive. "
You are taught Letters by me. They accuse me of Theft. I am accused of
Theft. Thou accusest me of Sacrilege. I am accused of Sacrilege. I know
you are not satisfied yet. I know you are not satisfied in Mind. For
when will so great a Glutton of Elegancies be satisfy'd? But I must have
Regard to the Company, who are not all equally diverted with these
Matters. After Supper, as we walk, we will finish what is behind, unless
you shall rather chuse to have it omitted.

_Ch. _ Let it be as you say. Let us return Thanks to divine Bounty and
afterwards we'll take a little Walk.

_Mi. _ You say very well, for nothing can be more pleasant, nor wholsome
than this Evening Air.

_Ch. Peter_, come hither, and take the Things away in Order, one after
the other, and fill the Glasses with Wine.

_Pe. _ Do you bid me return Thanks?

_Ch. _ Aye, do.

_Pe. _ Had you rather it should be done in _Greek_, or in _Latin_.

_Ch. _ Both Ways.

_Pe. Gratias agimus tibi, pater coelestis, qui tua ineffabili potentia
condidisti omnia, tua inscrutabili sapientia gubernas universa, tua
inexhausta bonitate cuncta pascis ac vegetas: largire filiis tuis, ut
aliquando tecum bibant in regno tuo nectar illud immortalitatis, quod
promisisti ac praeparasti vere diligentibus te, per Iesum Christum.
Amen. _

We thank thee, heavenly Father, who by thy unspeakable Power, hast
created all Things, and by thy inexhaustible Wisdom governest all
Things, and by thy inexhaustible Goodness feedest and nourishest all
Things: Grant to thy Children, that they may in due Time drink with thee
in thy Kingdom, that _Nectar_ of Immortality; which thou hast promis'd
and prepar'd for those that truly love thee, through Jesus Christ,
_Amen_.

_Ch. _ Say in _Greek_ too, that the rest mayn't understand what thou
sayest.

_Pe. _ [Greek: Heucharistoumen soi, pater ouranie, ho tê arrêtô sou
dunamei ktisas ta panta, ho tê anexereunêtô sou sophia kubernôn
hapaxapanta, ho tê anexantlêtô sou chrêstotêti hekasta trephomenos te
kai auxanon. Charizou tois yiois sou to meta sou pote piein to tês
athanasias nektar, ho upechou kai êtoimasas tois alêthôs agapôsi se, dia
Iêsou Christou, tou yiou sou, tou kyriou hêmôn, tou meta sou zôntos kai
basileuontos en henotêti tou pneumatos hagiou, eis tous aiônas. Amên. ]

_Ch. _ My most welcome Guests, I give you Thanks that you have honour'd
my little Entertainment with your Company. I intreat you to accept it
kindly.

_Gu. _ And we would not only have, but return our Thanks to you. Don't
let us be over ceremonious in thanking, but rather let us rise from
Table, and walk out a little.

_Au. _ Let us take these Virgins along with us, so our Walk will be more
pleasant.

_Ch. _ You propose very well. We'll not want Flowers, if the Place we
walk in don't afford any. Had you rather take a Turn in our Garden, in a
poetical Manner, or walk out abroad by the River-Side.

_Au. _ Indeed, your Gardens are very pleasant, but keep that Pleasure for
Morning Walks. When the Sun is towards setting, Rivers afford wonderful
pleasant Prospects.

_Ch. Austin_, do you walk foremost as a Poet should do, and I'll walk by
your Side.

_Au. _ O good God, what a jolly Company we have, what a Retinue have I!
_Christian_, I can't utter the Pleasure I take, I seem to be some
Nobleman.

_Ch. _ Now be as good as your Word. Perform the Task you have taken upon
you.

_Au. _ What is it you'd have me speak of chiefly?

_Ch. _ I us'd formerly to admire many Things in _Pollio_'s Orations; but
chiefly this, that he us'd so easily, so frequently and beautifully to
turn a Sentence, which seemed not only a great Piece of Wit, but of
great Use.

_Au. _ You were much in the Right on't, _Christian_, to admire that in
_Pollio_. For he seems, in this Matter, to have had a certain divine
Faculty, which I believe, was peculiar to him, by a certain Dexterity of
Art, and by much Use of Speaking, Reading and Writing, rather than by
any Rules or Instructions.

_Ch. _ But I would fain have some Rule for it, if there be any to be
given.

_Au. _ You say very well; and since I see you are very desirous of it,
I'll endeavour it as much as I can: And I will give those Rules, as well
as I can, which I have taken Notice of in _Pollio_'s Orations.

_Ch. _ Do, I should be very glad to hear 'em.

_Au. _ I am ready to do it.


* * * * *


The ARGUMENT.