lnstillabk
vain ll'ast of longing still.
Samuel Beckett
\\hen' in the narrow \'a,.
;t ?
Sa: onh \ ash apart.
In that narnm
Hlid ya"ts of HJicl apart. \\'ur::ie lwtter later.
\\hat \I,hen \lords gone? 1\ one for \I hat then. But L
sal by \m\ of sOllleho\l' on somehow with sight to do.
114
lIS
With less of sight. Still dim and yet-. No. Nohow so on. Say better worse words gone when nohow on. Still dim and nohow on. All seen and nohow on. What words for what then? None for what then. No words for what when words gone. For what when nohow on. Somehow nohow on.
Worsening words whose unknown. Whence un known. At all costs unknown. Now for to savas worst they may onh tll<'\ only they. Dim void shadl's all
Secretes. Say bettcr w'orse secrett's. What it is tlw
words it secretes sa\. What the so-said void. The so-
said dim. The so-said shades. The so-said scat aml
germ of all. Enough to know no knO\,'ing. No knowing
LLLL
what it is the words it secretes say. No saving. No
•L
saying w,hat it all is they somehow sa\'.
That said on back to try' worse say' the plodcling twain. Preying since last worse said on foresaid re mains. But what not on them preying? What seen?
What said? What of all seen awl said not on them
prey'ing? True. True! And yet say' worst perhaps
worst of all the old man ami child. That shack as last
worse seen. Left riaht left right barefoot unrecedina L' 0 t:'
on. Thev then the words. Back to them now for want of better on and better fail. Worser fail that perhaps of all the least. Least worse failed of all the worse failed shades. Less worse than the bowed back alone. The skull and lillless stare. Though the\' too for worse. But what not for w'orsE', True, True! And \'et sa\' first the
worst perhaps worst of all the old man and child. Worst in need of worse. \l1orst in
they. ~othing SenT \\hat thn sav. Somehow sa\'. i\o
"l
tbing saYt' they. \Vhat tht,\ sa\. Whost'sot'\Tr \\hence-
SOCY\'[ sa\. As worst tlH'V l11<lV fail {'Yt'}' \,'orse [0 sa\',
Remains of mind then still. Enough still. Some \dlOSe somew,hen' somehow enough still. No mind and words? Enon such wonls. So enough still. Just {enough still to jOy. JOy! Just enough still to jO\ that onh the\. Onl\ !
Enough still not to knol\, :\ot to kncm' what the\ sa\. Not tll know what it is tlH' \l'Clrds it says Sa\, Says?
116
117
••"
I
Blanks for nohO\\ OIl. How Ion? :? Blanks Il()\\~ [onf! : till sO))H'ho\l o))? A. gain sOllwhm\ (Jll. ~\11 f! :0lli' \\hen Iloho\l 0)). Time gOllt' \I hen ))ohO\\ Oil.
\Vorsp less. B\- no stretch mon>. \Vorse for want of bett(>r less. Less Iwst. No. Naught Iwst. Best \lor:-w. -'\0. Not best worse. Naught not I)('st \\'(Jrse. Less l)('st \\orse. No. Least. Lf'ast I)('st \lorse. Least 11<'\(T to 1)(' naught. Nt'ver to naught Iw ImJllgbt. :'\('\~('rIJ\ Ililllgllt lw nulled. UnnullalJ! e least. Sa\ that J)('st \lorst. \\ith least('ning \\ orcls sa\ kast I)('st \\ ors('. For \I-ant or \I opwr \I orst. UIlI('ss('nable kast ])('st \\ ors('.
'1'h(, t\lain. The hands. Held holding hands. That
almost rin? : c\. s \\hen first said Oll erippkd hallds l[J(' head. Crippled hallds! The: th('IT tll('n th(' \\on],;. Hen> nO\l 11<'ld holding. c\s when first said. LIlIl1lsaid
Sa\ for now still seen. Dimlv seen. Dim white. Two dim whitt' empt: hands. In til(' dim \~oid.
So leastward on. So long as dim still. Dilll lln~ L
dimn1<'cl. Or dimllwd to dimmer still. To climmost
~
\dlC'1l \nlrse saiel. Away. Held holding hands
~
\Vhat \lords for \Ihat then? Hmr almost thev still ring:. ~\s so))whm\ from some soft of mind tbey ooze. From it in it ooze. H(m all IJlIt ll))inalle. To last llnkss ('nalJl(' kast hm\ loath to kasll'n. For then ill lltlllost dim to lllllltll'r kasllllOst all.
So little \\-orS(' t[w old man and child. Cone hdd holding hands the\ plod apart. Left right IJarefoot lln~ ]'('Ceding Oil. '\ot \lorsell \Tt t[J(' rift. 5(1\(' for SOIll(' afll'r noho\l- sOllH'hm\ \\OrS(T OIL
On bad( to llnSay damped to all tIl(' stan'. No lJUt from Ilm\ to llm\ [llis alld ))0\\ that. \. s Ilm\ froIII
The emph too. A. \\a\. No hands ill th(, . :\0.
for \I~ors(' to sa\. SOllwho\\ \I~or:-w sOllwho\\ to sa\.
1111
11lJ
5,1\~('
dim. Leastmost in clilllmost dim. LJtmost dim. Least most in utmost dill! . Unworse))alJl(' \\'(Jrst.
~
worsl'ned twain to ne"t for worse alone. To skull and stare alone. or the t\\O worse in \\ant the skull preYin~ sinC'I" llnsllnk. No\\ sa\ tlll' fore alone. No dOllle. TI'm plc to temple alOlw. Clamped to it atHl stare alone tbe stare. Bowed hack aloni' and t\l'<lin blurs in the void. So better than nothin~ wors! ' shade tbree from now.
Sonwhow a~ain on back to the bowed back alon(-'. Nothing to shcl\\ a \\Olllan'S and Yet a \\,(llllan's. Ooz(-'d from softening soft the word \\OIlJall's. The words old woman's. The \lords nothing to shO\\ bowed hack alOlH' a WOlllan'S and H't a woman\. So hetttT worse from now that shade a woman's. :\n old \Hlman's.
Next fail see sav how dim llndilllm~dto worsen. Ho\\ nohow save to dimmer still. But hut a shade so as w111-']1 after nohow somehow on to dimmer still. Till dim most dim. Best bad 'worse of all. SavI' somd1Ow un dimmed worser still.
Ooze on back not to unsay but sa, again the vasts apart. Say seen again. No worse again. The vasts of
void apart. Of all so far mis~;aid the \\orSl' missaid. So far. Not till noho\\ wors(-' missav sa\ \\orse ll1issaicl.
Not till for good nohO\\' on poor \\'orst missaicl.
Longing the so-said mind long lost to longing. The
lLLLL
so-missaid. So far so-missaid. Dint of long 1011f! 5n g lost to longing. Long vain longing. And longing still. Faint-
LLLLlLL
h longing still. Faintlv \'ainh' 10n~6ngstill. For fainter
120
121
J
• '-- L
. '
L "
still. For faintest. Faintl, vainlY longing for the l(-'ast
••lL
of longing. Cnlessenablc [(-'ast of longing.
lnstillabk vain ll'ast of longing still.
Longing that all go. Dim 20. Void go. Longing go. LL L L 1. . _ LlL
Vain longing that vain longing go. LL LLL
Said is missaid. Whenever said said said missaid. From no\\" said alone. No more from now now said and now missaid. From nO\\ said alone. Said for missaid.
For lw missaicl.
Back is on. Somehow on. From now back alone. No more from now now back and now back on. From
now back al0l1l'. Back for hack on. Back for slJ! lIeh()\\~ un.
Hack unsa\~ hetter worse })\ no stretch ! lIOH'. If mort' dim less lif! ht then better \\orst' more dim. unsaid then hetter worse Il\~ no stretch mlJl"! :. Bett<~r \\~or:;e nJa\ no less than less }w more. Better worse \\hat? The sa\?
The said? Same thing. Same nothing. SanH' all Imt c,
nothinf! .
Na once. Nu once in pastless now. No not none. When hefore 'Norse the shades? The di! ll Iwfore more? When if not once? Onceless alOlw the void. H\ no stretch more. Bv none less. Oncell'ss till no ! lIore.
Ooze back tn~ worsen blanks. Those then when no how on. lJnsa\~then all gone. All not gone. OnlY nohcl\I
• l. . -- L •
on. All not gone and nohow on. All there as nO\\~\dwn G
somehow on. The dim. The void. The shades. Onll
words gone. Ooze gune. Till ooze again amI on. Some- ccc
how ooze on.
P n ' \ i n t r :-:im'(' la,. ;l \I()r,w l! H' ,. ;lau'. SOI! ll'thill::: l h e n ' ,. ;till far :;1) far from IIrong. So far far far frolll IITOll:::. T n I)('tler \I or,. ;(' allollwr ,. ;tare II ! H'Ll II ilh Ilonl,; thatl IdH'll nut. \\ lll'n ";OI! H'! 1011 thall II ! \('n no! wII. \\ hile all ::icen lIll' ,. ;ame. ~\o Ilol all seell lhe SUllie. SCTIl olher. 13\ the ::ian\(' othc'! ' ",tun' S('('1l ()tlH'r. \\ hen with Ilords than \Ihen IlOt. \\ hell SOIllc! W\1 than \lhclI nohO\I.
HO\I fail sa\ h011 other SCTn'r
Less. L,,. ;s se('n. LI'::'::' sceing. L(,::,,; ,. ;e('\1 and sc(:mg Ilhcn Ilith \Iords thull II hen LlO! . \\ hell ';OIl1l'! 1011 than
122
12. 3
\I~h(,1l
nohO\I. Stare Il\
\I~ord,. ;
dinlllJ('c1. Slwdcs climmecl.
\ oid clilllllled. Dilll dillllllecl. c\ll there as \l11I'n no
Ilords. C\::i 11111'n nohO\I. Ollll all dilllllH'cl. Till hlank
a g a m . : \ 0 \1~Orc],; u g a i n . 1 \ ohO\I~ a i . ; a i n . T h e i l u l l u n -
LLG
dinlllwd. Stare undimmed. That \I~ords had climmecl.
Back unsa; shades can go. Co ancl come again. \0.
Shades cannot go. Much less come again. 1\or bmved LL
old \I~oman's back. . \0 1 ' old lllan unci chilcl. "\"01' fore- skull ancl stare. Blur yes. Shacles can blur. \Vhen stare
J
clamped to one alone. Or somehow worcls again. Go
no nor come again. Till dim if ever go. Never to come agam.
Blanks for when words gone. When nohow on. Then all seen as onlv then. Cndinllned. All undimmed that words dim. All so seen unsaid. No ooze then. No tracc" on soft when fraIl! it ooze again. In it ooze again. Ooze
GG
alone for seen as seen with ooze. Dimmed. No ooze for seen undimmed. For wlwn nohow on. ::\'0 oozc' for when ooze gone.
Back trv worsen twain pre:ing since last worse. Since at'min. T\yo once so one. From no\\- rift a ,-as1. Vast of void at\\('l'n. With eCjual plod still llnr('cc~cling on. That littlc' ! Jetter \rorse. Till words fur worseI' still. \\orse mmls for \\ orser still.
Pre:ing hut what not pre:-ing? \\ hen not pn'\-ing? NoIH)\\- over words again sal \rhat then \dwn not prey inu. Each hettcT \\ors(' for naught. \0 stilling urnillg.
~
less than when but bad all always faintlv pre:-mg.
Gnawing. G
Gnawing to be gone. Less no good. Worse no good.
Onl: one good. Gone. Gone for good. Till then gnaw
on. All gnaw on. To lw gone. GL
All save void. No. Void too. Umvorsenable void.
Never less. Never more. Never since first said never
unsaid never worse said never not gnawing to be gone.
LLU
Sa:- child gone. As good as gone. From the void. From the stare. Void then not that much more? Say old lllan gone. Old woman gone. As good as gone. Void then not that much more again? No. Void must when almost. Worst when almost. Less then? All shades as good as gone. If then not that much more than that much less then? Less worse then? Enough. A pox on
void. unmoreable unlessable unworseable evermost almost void.
Back to once so-said two as one. Pre\-ing ever since •G
"L
The shades.
Hlid ya"ts of HJicl apart. \\'ur::ie lwtter later.
\\hat \I,hen \lords gone? 1\ one for \I hat then. But L
sal by \m\ of sOllleho\l' on somehow with sight to do.
114
lIS
With less of sight. Still dim and yet-. No. Nohow so on. Say better worse words gone when nohow on. Still dim and nohow on. All seen and nohow on. What words for what then? None for what then. No words for what when words gone. For what when nohow on. Somehow nohow on.
Worsening words whose unknown. Whence un known. At all costs unknown. Now for to savas worst they may onh tll<'\ only they. Dim void shadl's all
Secretes. Say bettcr w'orse secrett's. What it is tlw
words it secretes sa\. What the so-said void. The so-
said dim. The so-said shades. The so-said scat aml
germ of all. Enough to know no knO\,'ing. No knowing
LLLL
what it is the words it secretes say. No saving. No
•L
saying w,hat it all is they somehow sa\'.
That said on back to try' worse say' the plodcling twain. Preying since last worse said on foresaid re mains. But what not on them preying? What seen?
What said? What of all seen awl said not on them
prey'ing? True. True! And yet say' worst perhaps
worst of all the old man ami child. That shack as last
worse seen. Left riaht left right barefoot unrecedina L' 0 t:'
on. Thev then the words. Back to them now for want of better on and better fail. Worser fail that perhaps of all the least. Least worse failed of all the worse failed shades. Less worse than the bowed back alone. The skull and lillless stare. Though the\' too for worse. But what not for w'orsE', True, True! And \'et sa\' first the
worst perhaps worst of all the old man and child. Worst in need of worse. \l1orst in
they. ~othing SenT \\hat thn sav. Somehow sa\'. i\o
"l
tbing saYt' they. \Vhat tht,\ sa\. Whost'sot'\Tr \\hence-
SOCY\'[ sa\. As worst tlH'V l11<lV fail {'Yt'}' \,'orse [0 sa\',
Remains of mind then still. Enough still. Some \dlOSe somew,hen' somehow enough still. No mind and words? Enon such wonls. So enough still. Just {enough still to jOy. JOy! Just enough still to jO\ that onh the\. Onl\ !
Enough still not to knol\, :\ot to kncm' what the\ sa\. Not tll know what it is tlH' \l'Clrds it says Sa\, Says?
116
117
••"
I
Blanks for nohO\\ OIl. How Ion? :? Blanks Il()\\~ [onf! : till sO))H'ho\l o))? A. gain sOllwhm\ (Jll. ~\11 f! :0lli' \\hen Iloho\l 0)). Time gOllt' \I hen ))ohO\\ Oil.
\Vorsp less. B\- no stretch mon>. \Vorse for want of bett(>r less. Less Iwst. No. Naught Iwst. Best \lor:-w. -'\0. Not best worse. Naught not I)('st \\'(Jrse. Less l)('st \\orse. No. Least. Lf'ast I)('st \lorse. Least 11<'\(T to 1)(' naught. Nt'ver to naught Iw ImJllgbt. :'\('\~('rIJ\ Ililllgllt lw nulled. UnnullalJ! e least. Sa\ that J)('st \lorst. \\ith least('ning \\ orcls sa\ kast I)('st \\ ors('. For \I-ant or \I opwr \I orst. UIlI('ss('nable kast ])('st \\ ors('.
'1'h(, t\lain. The hands. Held holding hands. That
almost rin? : c\. s \\hen first said Oll erippkd hallds l[J(' head. Crippled hallds! The: th('IT tll('n th(' \\on],;. Hen> nO\l 11<'ld holding. c\s when first said. LIlIl1lsaid
Sa\ for now still seen. Dimlv seen. Dim white. Two dim whitt' empt: hands. In til(' dim \~oid.
So leastward on. So long as dim still. Dilll lln~ L
dimn1<'cl. Or dimllwd to dimmer still. To climmost
~
\dlC'1l \nlrse saiel. Away. Held holding hands
~
\Vhat \lords for \Ihat then? Hmr almost thev still ring:. ~\s so))whm\ from some soft of mind tbey ooze. From it in it ooze. H(m all IJlIt ll))inalle. To last llnkss ('nalJl(' kast hm\ loath to kasll'n. For then ill lltlllost dim to lllllltll'r kasllllOst all.
So little \\-orS(' t[w old man and child. Cone hdd holding hands the\ plod apart. Left right IJarefoot lln~ ]'('Ceding Oil. '\ot \lorsell \Tt t[J(' rift. 5(1\(' for SOIll(' afll'r noho\l- sOllH'hm\ \\OrS(T OIL
On bad( to llnSay damped to all tIl(' stan'. No lJUt from Ilm\ to llm\ [llis alld ))0\\ that. \. s Ilm\ froIII
The emph too. A. \\a\. No hands ill th(, . :\0.
for \I~ors(' to sa\. SOllwho\\ \I~or:-w sOllwho\\ to sa\.
1111
11lJ
5,1\~('
dim. Leastmost in clilllmost dim. LJtmost dim. Least most in utmost dill! . Unworse))alJl(' \\'(Jrst.
~
worsl'ned twain to ne"t for worse alone. To skull and stare alone. or the t\\O worse in \\ant the skull preYin~ sinC'I" llnsllnk. No\\ sa\ tlll' fore alone. No dOllle. TI'm plc to temple alOlw. Clamped to it atHl stare alone tbe stare. Bowed hack aloni' and t\l'<lin blurs in the void. So better than nothin~ wors! ' shade tbree from now.
Sonwhow a~ain on back to the bowed back alon(-'. Nothing to shcl\\ a \\Olllan'S and Yet a \\,(llllan's. Ooz(-'d from softening soft the word \\OIlJall's. The words old woman's. The \lords nothing to shO\\ bowed hack alOlH' a WOlllan'S and H't a woman\. So hetttT worse from now that shade a woman's. :\n old \Hlman's.
Next fail see sav how dim llndilllm~dto worsen. Ho\\ nohow save to dimmer still. But hut a shade so as w111-']1 after nohow somehow on to dimmer still. Till dim most dim. Best bad 'worse of all. SavI' somd1Ow un dimmed worser still.
Ooze on back not to unsay but sa, again the vasts apart. Say seen again. No worse again. The vasts of
void apart. Of all so far mis~;aid the \\orSl' missaid. So far. Not till noho\\ wors(-' missav sa\ \\orse ll1issaicl.
Not till for good nohO\\' on poor \\'orst missaicl.
Longing the so-said mind long lost to longing. The
lLLLL
so-missaid. So far so-missaid. Dint of long 1011f! 5n g lost to longing. Long vain longing. And longing still. Faint-
LLLLlLL
h longing still. Faintlv \'ainh' 10n~6ngstill. For fainter
120
121
J
• '-- L
. '
L "
still. For faintest. Faintl, vainlY longing for the l(-'ast
••lL
of longing. Cnlessenablc [(-'ast of longing.
lnstillabk vain ll'ast of longing still.
Longing that all go. Dim 20. Void go. Longing go. LL L L 1. . _ LlL
Vain longing that vain longing go. LL LLL
Said is missaid. Whenever said said said missaid. From no\\" said alone. No more from now now said and now missaid. From nO\\ said alone. Said for missaid.
For lw missaicl.
Back is on. Somehow on. From now back alone. No more from now now back and now back on. From
now back al0l1l'. Back for hack on. Back for slJ! lIeh()\\~ un.
Hack unsa\~ hetter worse })\ no stretch ! lIOH'. If mort' dim less lif! ht then better \\orst' more dim. unsaid then hetter worse Il\~ no stretch mlJl"! :. Bett<~r \\~or:;e nJa\ no less than less }w more. Better worse \\hat? The sa\?
The said? Same thing. Same nothing. SanH' all Imt c,
nothinf! .
Na once. Nu once in pastless now. No not none. When hefore 'Norse the shades? The di! ll Iwfore more? When if not once? Onceless alOlw the void. H\ no stretch more. Bv none less. Oncell'ss till no ! lIore.
Ooze back tn~ worsen blanks. Those then when no how on. lJnsa\~then all gone. All not gone. OnlY nohcl\I
• l. . -- L •
on. All not gone and nohow on. All there as nO\\~\dwn G
somehow on. The dim. The void. The shades. Onll
words gone. Ooze gune. Till ooze again amI on. Some- ccc
how ooze on.
P n ' \ i n t r :-:im'(' la,. ;l \I()r,w l! H' ,. ;lau'. SOI! ll'thill::: l h e n ' ,. ;till far :;1) far from IIrong. So far far far frolll IITOll:::. T n I)('tler \I or,. ;(' allollwr ,. ;tare II ! H'Ll II ilh Ilonl,; thatl IdH'll nut. \\ lll'n ";OI! H'! 1011 thall II ! \('n no! wII. \\ hile all ::icen lIll' ,. ;ame. ~\o Ilol all seell lhe SUllie. SCTIl olher. 13\ the ::ian\(' othc'! ' ",tun' S('('1l ()tlH'r. \\ hen with Ilords than \Ihen IlOt. \\ hell SOIllc! W\1 than \lhclI nohO\I.
HO\I fail sa\ h011 other SCTn'r
Less. L,,. ;s se('n. LI'::'::' sceing. L(,::,,; ,. ;e('\1 and sc(:mg Ilhcn Ilith \Iords thull II hen LlO! . \\ hell ';OIl1l'! 1011 than
122
12. 3
\I~h(,1l
nohO\I. Stare Il\
\I~ord,. ;
dinlllJ('c1. Slwdcs climmecl.
\ oid clilllllled. Dilll dillllllecl. c\ll there as \l11I'n no
Ilords. C\::i 11111'n nohO\I. Ollll all dilllllH'cl. Till hlank
a g a m . : \ 0 \1~Orc],; u g a i n . 1 \ ohO\I~ a i . ; a i n . T h e i l u l l u n -
LLG
dinlllwd. Stare undimmed. That \I~ords had climmecl.
Back unsa; shades can go. Co ancl come again. \0.
Shades cannot go. Much less come again. 1\or bmved LL
old \I~oman's back. . \0 1 ' old lllan unci chilcl. "\"01' fore- skull ancl stare. Blur yes. Shacles can blur. \Vhen stare
J
clamped to one alone. Or somehow worcls again. Go
no nor come again. Till dim if ever go. Never to come agam.
Blanks for when words gone. When nohow on. Then all seen as onlv then. Cndinllned. All undimmed that words dim. All so seen unsaid. No ooze then. No tracc" on soft when fraIl! it ooze again. In it ooze again. Ooze
GG
alone for seen as seen with ooze. Dimmed. No ooze for seen undimmed. For wlwn nohow on. ::\'0 oozc' for when ooze gone.
Back trv worsen twain pre:ing since last worse. Since at'min. T\yo once so one. From no\\- rift a ,-as1. Vast of void at\\('l'n. With eCjual plod still llnr('cc~cling on. That littlc' ! Jetter \rorse. Till words fur worseI' still. \\orse mmls for \\ orser still.
Pre:ing hut what not pre:-ing? \\ hen not pn'\-ing? NoIH)\\- over words again sal \rhat then \dwn not prey inu. Each hettcT \\ors(' for naught. \0 stilling urnillg.
~
less than when but bad all always faintlv pre:-mg.
Gnawing. G
Gnawing to be gone. Less no good. Worse no good.
Onl: one good. Gone. Gone for good. Till then gnaw
on. All gnaw on. To lw gone. GL
All save void. No. Void too. Umvorsenable void.
Never less. Never more. Never since first said never
unsaid never worse said never not gnawing to be gone.
LLU
Sa:- child gone. As good as gone. From the void. From the stare. Void then not that much more? Say old lllan gone. Old woman gone. As good as gone. Void then not that much more again? No. Void must when almost. Worst when almost. Less then? All shades as good as gone. If then not that much more than that much less then? Less worse then? Enough. A pox on
void. unmoreable unlessable unworseable evermost almost void.
Back to once so-said two as one. Pre\-ing ever since •G
"L
The shades.
