No More Learning

I could have
expected the case to be less of a burden than it had been, as the point
of taking on a lawyer is that he should take on some of its weight. But
what actually happened was the opposite. Before, the trial was never
such a worry for me as it has been since you've been representing me.
When I was by myself I never did anything about my case, I was hardly
aware of it, but then, once there was someone representing me,
everything was set for something to happen, I was always, without cease,
waiting for you to do something, getting more and more tense, but you
did nothing. I did get some information about the court from you that I
probably could not have got anywhere else, but that can't be enough when
the trial, supposedly in secret, is getting closer and closer to me. "
K. had pushed the chair away and stood erect, his hands in the pockets
of his frock coat. "After a certain point in the proceedings," said the
lawyer quietly and calmly, "nothing new of any importance ever happens.
So many litigants, at the same stage in their trials, have stood before
me just like you are now and spoken in the same way. " "Then these other
litigants," said K. , "have all been right, just as I am. That does not
show that I'm not. " "I wasn't trying to show that you were mistaken,"
said the lawyer, "but I wanted to add that I expected better judgement
from you than from the others, especially as I've given you more insight
into the workings of the court and my own activities than I normally do.
And now I'm forced to accept that, despite everything, you have too
little trust in me. You don't make it easy for me. " How the lawyer was
humiliating himself to K. ! He was showing no regard for the dignity of
his position, which on this point, must have been at its most sensitive.
And why did he do that? He did seem to be very busy as a lawyer as well
a rich man, neither the loss of income nor the loss of a client could
have been of much importance to him in themselves. He was moreover
unwell and should have been thinking of passing work on to others. And
despite all that he held on tightly to K. Why? Was it something
personal for his uncle's sake, or did he really see K. 's case as one
that was exceptional and hoped to be able to distinguish himself with
it, either for K. 's sake or - and this possibility could never be
excluded - for his friends at the court? It was not possible to learn
anything by looking at him, even though K. was scrutinizing him quite
brazenly. It could almost be supposed he was deliberately hiding his
thoughts as he waited to see what effect his words would have. But he
clearly deemed K. 's silence to be favourable for himself and he
continued, "You will have noticed the size of my office, but that I
don't employ any staff to help me. That used to be quite different,
there was a time when several young lawyers were working for me but now
I work alone. This is partly to do with changes in the way I do
business, in that I concentrate nowadays more and more on matters such
as your own case, and partly to do with the ever deeper understanding
that I acquire from these legal matters. I found that I could never let
anyone else deal with this sort of work unless I wanted to harm both the
client and the job I had taken on. But the decision to do all the work
myself had its obvious result: I was forced to turn almost everyone away
who asked me to represent them and could only accept those I was
especially interested in - well there are enough creatures who leap at
every crumb I throw down, and they're not so very far away. Most
importantly, I became ill from over-work. But despite that I don't
regret my decision, quite possibly I should have turned more cases away
than I did, but it did turn out to be entirely necessary for me to
devote myself fully to the cases I did take on, and the successful
results showed that it was worth it. I once read a description of the
difference between representing someone in ordinary legal matters and in
legal matters of this sort, and the writer expressed it very well. This
is what he said: some lawyers lead their clients on a thread until
judgement is passed, but there are others who immediately lift their
clients onto their shoulders and carry them all the way to the judgement
and beyond. That's just how it is. But it was quite true when I said I
never regret all this work. But if, as in your case, they are so fully
misunderstood, well, then I come very close to regretting it. " All this
talking did more to make K. impatient than to persuade him. From the
way the lawyer was speaking, K. thought he could hear what he could
expect if he gave in, the delays and excuses would begin again, reports
of how the documents were progressing, how the mood of the court
officials had improved, as well as all the enormous difficulties - in
short all that he had heard so many times before would be brought out
again even more fully, he would try to mislead K. with hopes that were
never specified and to make him suffer with threats that were never
clear. He had to put a stop to that, so he said, "What will you
undertake on my behalf if you continue to represent me? " The lawyer
quietly accepted even this insulting question, and answered, "I should
continue with what I've already been doing for you. " "That's just what
I thought," said K. , "and now you don't need to say another word. " "I
will make one more attempt," said the lawyer as if whatever had been
making K. so annoyed was affecting him too. "You see, I have the
impression that you have not only misjudged the legal assistance I have
given you but also that that misjudgement has led you to behave in this
way, you seem, although you are the accused, to have been treated too
well or, to put it a better way, handled with neglect, with apparent
neglect. Even that has its reason; it is often better to be in chains
than to be free. But I would like to show you how other defendants are
treated, perhaps you will succeed in learning something from it. What I
will do is I will call Block in, unlock the door and sit down here
beside the bedside table. " "Be glad to," said K. , and did as the lawyer
suggested; he was always ready to learn something new. But to make sure
of himself for any event he added, "but you do realise that you are no
longer to be my lawyer, don't you? " "Yes," said the lawyer. "But you
can still change your mind today if you want to. " He lay back down in
the bed, pulled the quilt up to his chin and turned to face the wall.
Then he rang.

Leni appeared almost the moment he had done so. She looked
hurriedly at K. and the lawyer to try and find out what had happened;
she seemed to be reassured by the sight of K. sitting calmly at the
lawyer's bed. She smiled and nodded to K. , K. looked blankly back at
her. "Fetch Block," said the lawyer. But instead of going to fetch
him, Leni just went to the door and called out, "Block! To the lawyer! "
Then, probably because the lawyer had turned his face to the wall and
was paying no attention, she slipped in behind K. 's chair. From then
on, she bothered him by leaning forward over the back of the chair or,
albeit very tenderly and carefully, she would run her hands through his
hair and over his cheeks. K. eventually tried to stop her by taking
hold of one hand, and after some resistance Leni let him keep hold of
it. Block came as soon as he was called, but he remained standing in
the doorway and seemed to be wondering whether he should enter or not.
He raised his eyebrows and lowered his head as if listening to find out
whether the order to attend the lawyer would be repeated. K. could have
encouraged to enter, but he had decided to make a final break not only
with the lawyer but with everything in his home, so he kept himself
motionless. Leni was also silent. Block noticed that at least no-one
was chasing him away, and, on tiptoe, he entered the room, his face was
tense, his hands were clenched behind his back. He left the door open
in case he needed to go back again. K. did not even glance at him, he
looked instead only at the thick quilt under which the lawyer could not
be seen as he had squeezed up very close to the wall. Then his voice
was heard: "Block here? " he asked. Block had already crept some way
into the room but this question seemed to give him first a shove in the
breast and then another in the back, he seemed about to fall but
remained standing, deeply bowed, and said, "At your service, sir. "
"What do you want? " asked the lawyer, "you've come at a bad time. "
"Wasn't I summoned? " asked Block, more to himself than the lawyer. He
held his hands in front of himself as protection and would have been
ready to run away any moment. "You were summoned," said the lawyer,
"but you have still come at a bad time. " Then, after a pause he added,
"You always come at a bad time. " When the lawyer started speaking Block
had stopped looking at the bed but stared rather into one of the
corners, just listening, as if the light from the speaker were brighter
than Block could bear to look at. But it was also difficult for him to
listen, as the lawyer was speaking into the wall and speaking quickly
and quietly. "Would you like me to go away again, sir? " asked Block.
"Well you're here now," said the lawyer. "Stay! " It was as if the
lawyer had not done as Block had wanted but instead threatened him with
a stick, as now Block really began to shake. "I went to see," said the
lawyer, "the third judge yesterday, a friend of mine, and slowly brought
the conversation round to the subject of you. Do you want to know what
he said? " "Oh, yes please," said Block. The lawyer did not answer
immediately, so Block repeated his request and lowered his head as if
about to kneel down. But then K. spoke to him: "What do you think
you're doing? " he shouted. Leni had wanted to stop him from calling out
and so he took hold of her other hand. It was not love that made him
squeeze it and hold on to it so tightly, she sighed frequently and tried
to disengage her hands from him. But Block was punished for K. 's
outburst, as the lawyer asked him, "Who is your lawyer? " "You are,
sir," said Block. "And who besides me? " the lawyer asked. "No-one
besides you, sir," said Block. "And let there be no-one besides me,"
said the lawyer. Block fully understood what that meant, he glowered at
K. , shaking his head violently. If these actions had been translated
into words they would have been coarse insults. K. had been friendly
and willing to discuss his own case with someone like this! "I won't
disturb you any more," said K. , leaning back in his chair. "You can
kneel down or creep on all fours, whatever you like. I won't bother
with you any more. " But Block still had some sense of pride, at least
where K. was concerned, and he went towards him waving his fists,
shouting as loudly as he dared while the lawyer was there. "You
shouldn't speak to me like that, that's not allowed. Why are you
insulting me? Especially here in front of the lawyer, where both of us,
you and me, we're only tolerated because of his charity. You're not a
better person than me, you've been accused of something too, you're
facing a charge too. If, in spite of that, you're still a gentleman
then I'm just as much a gentleman as you are, if not even more so. And
I want to be spoken to as a gentleman, especially by you. If you think
being allowed to sit there and quietly listen while I creep on all fours
as you put it makes you something better than me, then there's an old
legal saying you ought to bear in mind: If you're under suspicion it's
better to be moving than still, as if you're still you can be in the pan
of the scales without knowing it and be weighed along with your sins. "
K. said nothing. He merely looked in amazement at this distracted
being, his eyes completely still. He had gone through such changes in
just the last few hours! Was it the trial that was throwing him from
side to side in this way and stopped him knowing who was friend and who
was foe? Could he not see the lawyer was deliberately humiliating him
and had no other purpose today than to show off his power to K. , and
perhaps even thereby subjugate K. ? But if Block was incapable of seeing
that, or if he so feared the lawyer that no such insight would even be
of any use to him, how was it that he was either so sly or so bold as to
lie to the lawyer and conceal from him the fact that he had other
lawyers working on his behalf? And how did he dare to attack K. , who
could betray his secret any time he liked? But he dared even more than
this, he went to the lawyer's bed and began there to make complaints
about K. "Dr. Huld, sir," he said, "did you hear the way this man spoke
to me? You can count the length of his trial in hours, and he wants to
tell me what to do when I've been involved in a legal case for five
years. He even insults me. He doesn't know anything, but he insults
me, when I, as far as my weak ability allows, when I've made a close
study of how to behave with the court, what we ought to do and what the
court practices are. " "Don't let anyone bother you," said the lawyer,
"and do what seems to you to be right. " "I will," said Block, as if
speaking to himself to give himself courage, and with a quick glance to
the side he kneeled down close beside the bed. "I'm kneeling now Dr.
Huld, sir," he said. But the lawyer remained silent. With one hand,
Block carefully stroked the bed cover. In the silence while he did so,
Leni, as she freed herself from K. 's hands, said, "You're hurting me.
Let go of me. I'm going over to Block. " She went over to him and sat
on the edge of the bed. Block was very pleased at this and with lively,
but silent, gestures he immediately urged her to intercede for him with
the lawyer. It was clear that he desperately needed to be told
something by the lawyer, although perhaps only so that he could make use
of the information with his other lawyers. Leni probably knew very well
how the lawyer could be brought round, pointed to his hand and pursed
her lips as if making a kiss. Block immediately performed the hand-kiss
and, at further urging from Leni, repeated it twice more. But the
lawyer continued to be silent. Then Leni leant over the lawyer, as she
stretched out, the attractive shape of her body could be seen, and, bent
over close to his face, she stroked his long white hair. That now
forced him to give an answer. "I'm rather wary of telling him," said
the lawyer, and his head could be seen shaking slightly, perhaps so that
he would feel the pressure of Leni's hand better. Block listened
closely with his head lowered, as if by listening he were breaking an
order. "What makes you so wary about it? " asked Leni. K. had the
feeling he was listening to a contrived dialogue that had been repeated
many times, that would be repeated many times more, and that for Block
alone it would never lose its freshness. "What has his behaviour been
like today? " asked the lawyer instead of an answer. Before Leni said
anything she looked down at Block and watched him a short while as he
raised his hands towards her and rubbed them together imploringly.
Finally she gave a serious nod, turned back to the lawyer and said,
"He's been quiet and industrious. " This was an elderly businessman, a
man whose beard was long, and he was begging a young girl to speak on
his behalf. Even if there was some plan behind what he did, there was
nothing that could reinstate him in the eyes of his fellow man. K.
could not understand how the lawyer could have thought this performance
would win him over. Even if he had done nothing earlier to make him
want to leave then this scene would have done so. It was almost
humiliating even for the onlooker. So these were the lawyer's methods,
which K. fortunately had not been exposed to for long, to let the client
forget about the whole world and leave him with nothing but the hope of
reaching the end of his trial by this deluded means. He was no longer a
client, he was the lawyer's dog. If the lawyer had ordered him to crawl
under the bed as if it were a kennel and to bark out from under it, then
he would have done so with enthusiasm. K. listened to all of this,
testing it and thinking it over as if he had been given the task of
closely observing everything spoken here, inform a higher office about
it and write a report. "And what has he been doing all day? " asked the
lawyer. "I kept him locked in the maid's room all day," said Leni, "so
that he wouldn't stop me doing my work. That's where he usually stays.
From time to time I looked in through the spyhole to see what he was
doing, and each time he was kneeling on the bed and reading the papers
you gave him, propped up on the window sill. That made a good
impression on me; as the window only opens onto an air shaft and gives
hardly any light. It showed how obedient he is that he was even reading
in those conditions. " "I'm pleased to hear it," said the lawyer. "But
did he understand what he was reading? " While this conversation was
going on, Block continually moved his lips and was clearly formulating
the answers he hoped Leni would give. "Well I can't give you any
certain answer to that of course," said Leni, "but I could see that he
was reading thoroughly. He spent all day reading the same page, running
his finger along the lines. Whenever I looked in on him he sighed as if
this reading was a lot of work for him. I expect the papers you gave
him were very hard to understand. " "Yes," said the lawyer, "they
certainly are that. And I really don't think he understood anything of
them. But they should at least give him some inkling of just how hard a
struggle it is and how much work it is for me to defend him. And who am
I doing all this hard work for? I'm doing it - it's laughable even to
say it - I'm doing it for Block. He ought to realise what that means,
too. Did he study without a pause? " "Almost without a pause," answered
Leni. "Just the once he asked me for a drink of water, so I gave him a
glassful through the window. Then at eight o'clock I let him out and
gave him something to eat. " Block glanced sideways at K. , as if he were
being praised and had to impress K. as well. He now seemed more
optimistic, he moved more freely and rocked back and forth on his knees.
This made his astonishment all the more obvious when he heard the
following words from the lawyer: "You speak well of him," said the
lawyer, "but that's just what makes it difficult for me. You see, the
judge did not speak well of him at all, neither about Block nor about
his case. " "Didn't speak well of him? " asked Leni. "How is that
possible? " Block looked at her with such tension he seemed to think
that although the judge's words had been spoken so long before she would
be able to change them in his favour. "Not at all," said the lawyer.
"In fact he became quite cross when I started to talk about Block to
him. 'Don't talk to me about Block,' he said. 'He is my client,' said
I. 'You're letting him abuse you,' he said. 'I don't think his case is
lost yet,' said I. 'You're letting him abuse you,' he repeated. 'I
don't think so,' said I. 'Block works hard in his case and always knows
where it stands. He practically lives with me so that he always knows
what's happening. You don't always find such enthusiasm as that. He's
not very pleasant personally, I grant you, his manners are terrible and
he's dirty, but as far as the trial's concerned he's quite immaculate. '
I said immaculate, but I was deliberately exaggerating. Then he said,
'Block is sly, that's all. He's accumulated plenty of experience and
knows how to delay proceedings. But there's more that he doesn't know
than he does. What do you think he'd say if he learned his trial still
hasn't begun, if you told him they haven't even rung the bell to
announce the start of proceedings? ' Alright Block, alright," said the
lawyer, as at these words Block had begun to raise himself on his
trembling knees and clearly wanted to plead for some explanation. It
was the first time the lawyer had spoken any clear words directly to
Block. He looked down with his tired eyes, half blankly and half at
Block, who slowly sank back down on his knees under this gaze. "What
the judge said has no meaning for you," said the lawyer. "You needn't
be frightened at every word. If you do it again I won't tell you
anything else at all. It's impossible to start a sentence without you
looking at me as if you were receiving your final judgement. You should
be ashamed of yourself here in front of my client! And you're
destroying the trust he has for me. Just what is it you want? You're
still alive, you're still under my protection. There's no point in
worrying! Somewhere you've read that the final judgement can often come
without warning, from anyone at any time. And, in the right
circumstances, that's basically true, but it's also true that I dislike
your anxiety and fear and see that you don't have the trust in me you
should have. Now what have I just said? I repeated something said by
one of the judges. You know that there are so many various opinions
about the procedure that they form into a great big pile and nobody can
make any sense of them. This judge, for instance, sees proceedings as
starting at a different point from where I do. A difference of opinion,
nothing more. At a certain stage in the proceedings tradition has it
that a sign is given by ringing a bell. This judge sees that as the
point at which proceedings begin. I can't set out all the opinions
opposed to that view here, and you wouldn't understand it anyway,
suffice it to say that there are many reasons to disagree with him. "
Embarrassed, Block ran his fingers through the pile of the carpet, his
anxiety about what the judge had said had let him forget his inferior
status towards the lawyer for a while, he thought only about himself and
turned the judges words round to examine them from all sides. "Block,"
said Leni, as if reprimanding him, and, taking hold of the collar of his
coat, pulled him up slightly higher. "Leave the carpet alone and listen
to what the lawyer is saying. "

This chapter was left unfinished.




Chapter Nine
In the Cathedral

A very important Italian business contact of the bank had come to
visit the city for the first time and K. was given the task of showing
him some of its cultural sights. At any other time he would have seen
this job as an honour but now, when he was finding it hard even to
maintain his current position in the bank, he accepted it only with
reluctance. Every hour that he could not be in the office was a cause
of concern for him, he was no longer able to make use of his time in the
office anything like as well as he had previously, he spent many hours
merely pretending to do important work, but that only increased his
anxiety about not being in the office. Then he sometimes thought he saw
the deputy director, who was always watching, come into K. 's office, sit
at his desk, look through his papers, receive clients who had almost
become old friends of K. , and lure them away from him, perhaps he even
discovered mistakes, mistakes that seemed to threaten K. from a thousand
directions when he was at work now, and which he could no longer avoid.
So now, if he was ever asked to leave the office on business or even
needed to make a short business trip, however much an honour it seemed -
and tasks of this sort happened to have increased substantially recently
- there was always the suspicion that they wanted to get him out of his
office for a while and check his work, or at least the idea that they
thought he was dispensable. It would not have been difficult for him to
turn down most of these jobs, but he did not dare to do so because, if
his fears had the slightest foundation, turning the jobs down would have
been an acknowledgement of them. For this reason, he never demurred
from accepting them, and even when he was asked to go on a tiring
business trip lasting two days he said nothing about having to go out in
the rainy autumn weather when he had a severe chill, just in order to
avoid the risk of not being asked to go. When, with a raging headache,
he arrived back from this trip he learned that he had been chosen to
accompany the Italian business contact the following day. The
temptation for once to turn the job down was very great, especially as
it had no direct connection with business, but there was no denying that
social obligations towards this business contact were in themselves
important enough, only not for K. , who knew quite well that he needed
some successes at work if he was to maintain his position there and
that, if he failed in that, it would not help him even if this Italian
somehow found him quite charming; he did not want to be removed from his
workplace for even one day, as the fear of not being allowed back in was
too great, he knew full well that the fear was exaggerated but it still
made him anxious. However, in this case it was almost impossible to
think of an acceptable excuse, his knowledge of Italian was not great
but still good enough; the deciding factor was that K. had earlier known
a little about art history and this had become widely known around the
bank in extremely exaggerated form, and that K. had been a member of the
Society for the Preservation of City Monuments, albeit only for business
reasons. It was said that this Italian was an art lover, so the choice
of K. to accompany him was a matter of course.

It was a very rainy and stormy morning when K. , in a foul temper
at the thought of the day ahead of him, arrived early at seven o'clock
in the office so that he could at least do some work before his visitor
would prevent him. He had spent half the night studying a book of
Italian grammar so that he would be somewhat prepared and was very
tired; his desk was less attractive to him than the window where he had
spent far too much time sitting of late, but he resisted the temptation
and sat down to his work. Unfortunately, just then the servitor came in
and reported that the director had sent him to see whether the chief
clerk was already in his office; if he was, then would he please be so
kind as to come to his reception room as the gentleman from Italy was
already there. "I'll come straight away," said K. He put a small
dictionary in his pocket, took a guide to the city's tourist sites under
his arm that he had compiled for strangers, and went through the deputy
director's office into that of the director. He was glad he had come
into the office so early and was able to be of service immediately,
nobody could seriously have expected that of him. The deputy director's
office was, of course, still as empty as the middle of the night, the
servitor had probably been asked to summon him too but without success.
As K. entered the reception room two men stood up from the deep
armchairs where they had been sitting. The director gave him a friendly
smile, he was clearly very glad that K. was there, he immediately
introduced him to the Italian who shook K. 's hand vigorously and joked
that somebody was an early riser. K. did not quite understand whom he
had in mind, it was moreover an odd expression to use and it took K. a
little while to guess its meaning. He replied with a few bland phrases
which the Italian received once more with a laugh, passing his hand
nervously and repeatedly over his blue-grey, bushy moustache. This
moustache was obviously perfumed, it was almost tempting to come close
to it and sniff. When they had all sat down and begun a light
preliminary conversation, K. was disconcerted to notice that he
understood no more than fragments of what the Italian said. When he
spoke very calmly he understood almost everything, but that was very
infrequent, mostly the words gushed from his mouth and he seemed to be
enjoying himself so much his head shook. When he was talking in this
way his speech was usually wrapped up in some kind of dialect which
seemed to K. to have nothing to do with Italian but which the director
not only understood but also spoke, although K. ought to have foreseen
this as the Italian came from the south of his country where the
director had also spent several years. Whatever the cause, K. realised
that the possibility of communicating with the Italian had been largely
taken from him, even his French was difficult to understand, and his
moustache concealed the movements of his lips which might have offered
some help in understanding what he said. K. began to anticipate many
difficulties, he gave up trying to understand what the Italian said -
with the director there, who could understand him so easily, it would
have been pointless effort - and for the time being did no more than
scowl at the Italian as he relaxed sitting deep but comfortable in the
armchair, as he frequently pulled at his short, sharply tailored jacket
and at one time lifted his arms in the air and moved his hands freely to
try and depict something that K. could not grasp, even though he was
leaning forward and did not let the hands out of his sight. K. had
nothing to occupy himself but mechanically watch the exchange between
the two men and his tiredness finally made itself felt, to his alarm,
although fortunately in good time, he once caught himself nearly getting
up, turning round and leaving. Eventually the Italian looked at the
clock and jumped up. After taking his leave from the director he turned
to K. , pressing himself so close to him that K. had to push his chair
back just so that he could move. The director had, no doubt, seen the
anxiety in K. 's eyes as he tried to cope with this dialect of Italian,
he joined in with this conversation in a way that was so adroit and
unobtrusive that he seemed to be adding no more than minor comments,
whereas in fact he was swiftly and patiently breaking into what the
Italian said so that K. could understand. K. learned in this way that
the Italian first had a few business matters to settle, that he
unfortunately had only a little time at his disposal, that he certainly
did not intend to rush round to see every monument in the city, that he
would much rather - at least as long as K. would agree, it was entirely
his decision - just see the cathedral and to do so thoroughly. He was
extremely pleased to be accompanied by someone who was so learned and so
pleasant - by this he meant K. , who was occupied not with listening to
the Italian but the director - and asked if he would be so kind, if the
time was suitable, to meet him in the cathedral in two hours' time at
about ten o'clock. He hoped he would certainly be able to be there at
that time. K. made an appropriate reply, the Italian shook first the
director's hand and then K. 's, then the director's again and went to the
door, half turned to the two men who followed him and continuing to talk
without a break. K. remained together with the director for a short
while, although the director looked especially unhappy today. He
thought he needed to apologise to K. for something and told him - they
were standing intimately close together - he had thought at first he
would accompany the Italian himself, but then - he gave no more precise
reason than this - then he decided it would be better to send K. with
him. He should not be surprised if he could not understand the Italian
at first, he would be able to very soon, and even if he really could not
understand very much he said it was not so bad, as it was really not so
important for the Italian to be understood. And anyway, K. 's knowledge
of Italian was surprisingly good, the director was sure he would get by
very well. And with that, it was time for K. to go. He spent the time
still remaining to him with a dictionary, copying out obscure words he
would need to guide the Italian round the cathedral. It was an
extremely irksome task, servitors brought him the mail, bank staff came
with various queries and, when they saw that K. was busy, stood by the
door and did not go away until he had listened to them, the deputy
director did not miss the opportunity to disturb K. and came in
frequently, took the dictionary from his hand and flicked through its
pages, clearly for no purpose, when the door to the ante-room opened
even clients would appear from the half darkness and bow timidly to him
- they wanted to attract his attention but were not sure whether he had
seen them - all this activity was circling around K. with him at its
centre while he compiled the list of words he would need, then looked
them up in the dictionary, then wrote them out, then practised their
pronunciation and finally tried to learn them by heart. The good
intentions he had had earlier, though, seemed to have left him
completely, it was the Italian who had caused him all this effort and
sometimes he became so angry with him that he buried the dictionary
under some papers firmly intending to do no more preparation, but then
he realised he could not walk up and down in the cathedral with the
Italian without saying a word, so, in an even greater rage, he
pulled the dictionary back out again.

At exactly half past nine, just when he was about to leave, there
was a telephone call for him, Leni wished him good morning and asked how
he was, K. thanked her hurriedly and told her it was impossible for him
to talk now as he had to go to the cathedral. "To the cathedral? " asked
Leni. "Yes, to the cathedral. " "What do you have to go to the
cathedral for? " said Leni. K. tried to explain it to her briefly, but
he had hardly begun when Leni suddenly said, "They're harassing you. "
One thing that K. could not bear was pity that he had not wanted or
expected, he took his leave of her with two words, but as he put the
receiver back in its place he said, half to himself and half to the girl
on the other end of the line who could no longer hear him, "Yes, they're
harassing me. "

By now the time was late and there was almost a danger he would
not be on time. He took a taxi to the cathedral, at the last moment he
had remembered the album that he had had no opportunity to give to the
Italian earlier and so took it with him now. He held it on his knees
and drummed impatiently on it during the whole journey. The rain had
eased off slightly but it was still damp chilly and dark, it would be
difficult to see anything in the cathedral but standing about on cold
flagstones might well make K. 's chill much worse. The square in front
of the cathedral was quite empty, K. remembered how even as a small
child he had noticed that nearly all the houses in this narrow square
had the curtains at their windows closed most of the time, although
today, with the weather like this, it was more understandable. The
cathedral also seemed quite empty, of course no-one would think of going
there on a day like this. K. hurried along both the side naves but saw
no-one but an old woman who, wrapped up in a warm shawl, was kneeling at
a picture of the Virgin Mary and staring up at it. Then, in the
distance, he saw a church official who limped away through a doorway in
the wall. K. had arrived on time, it had struck ten just as he was
entering the building, but the Italian still was not there. K. went
back to the main entrance, stood there indecisively for a while, and
then walked round the cathedral in the rain in case the Italian was
waiting at another entrance. He was nowhere to be found. Could the
director have misunderstood what time they had agreed on? How could
anyone understand someone like that properly anyway? Whatever had
happened, K. would have to wait for him for at least half an hour. As
he was tired he wanted to sit down, he went back inside the cathedral,
he found something like a small carpet on one of the steps, he moved it
with his foot to a nearby pew, wrapped himself up tighter in his coat,
put the collar up and sat down. To pass the time he opened the album
and flicked through the pages a little but soon had to give up as it
became so dark that when he looked up he could hardly make out anything
in the side nave next to him.

In the distance there was a large triangle of candles flickering
on the main altar, K. was not certain whether he had seen them earlier.
Perhaps they had only just been lit. Church staff creep silently as
part of their job, you don't notice them. When K. happened to turn
round he also saw a tall, stout candle attached to a column not far
behind him. It was all very pretty, but totally inadequate to
illuminate the pictures which were usually left in the darkness of the
side altars, and seemed to make the darkness all the deeper. It was
discourteous of the Italian not to come but it was also sensible of him,
there would have been nothing to see, they would have had to content
themselves with seeking out a few pictures with K. 's electric pocket
torch and looking at them one small part at a time. K. went over to a
nearby side chapel to see what they could have hoped for, he went up a
few steps to a low marble railing and leant over it to look at the altar
picture by the light of his torch. The eternal light hung disturbingly
in front of it. The first thing that K.