A plague upon such
backing!
Warner - World's Best Literature - v23 - Sha to Sta
How looked he?
Wherein went he?
What makes he here?
Did he ask for me? Where remains he? How parted he with
thee, and when shalt thou see him again?
word.
Answer me in one
Celia-You must borrow me Gargantua's mouth first: 'tis
a word too great for any mouth of this age's size. To say ay
and no to these particulars is more than to answer in a cate-
chism.
## p. 13237 (#35) ###########################################
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13237
Rosalind-But doth he know that I am in this forest, and
in man's apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the day he
wrestled?
Celia It is as easy to count atomies, as to resolve the prop-
ositions of a lover; but take a taste of my finding him, and
relish it with good observance. I found him under a tree, like a
dropped acorn.
Rosalind-It may well be called Jove's tree, when it drops
forth such fruit.
Celia - Give me audience, good madam.
Rosalind - Proceed.
Celia - There lay he stretched along, like a wounded knight.
Rosalind-Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well be-
comes the ground.
Celia Cry, holla! to thy tongue, I pr'ythee: it curvets un-
seasonably. He was furnished like a hunter.
-
Rosalind - Oh, ominous! he comes to kill my heart.
Celia - I would sing my song without a burden: thou bring'st
me out of tune.
Celia
Rosalind - Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I
must speak. Sweet, say on.
Enter Orlando and Jaques
You bring me out. - Soft! comes he not here?
Rosalind-'Tis he: slink by, and note him.
-
[Rosalind and Celia retire.
Jaques I thank you for your company; but, good faith, I
had as lief have been myself alone.
-
Orlando - And so had I; but yet, for fashion sake, I thank
you too for your society.
Jaques-Good-by, you: let's meet as little as we can.
Orlando - I do desire we may be better strangers.
Jaques — I pray you, mar no more trees with writing love-
songs in their barks.
Orlando-I pray you, mar no more of my verses with reading
them ill-favoredly.
Jaques Rosalind is your love's name?
Orlando-Yes, just.
Jaques I do not like her name.
Orlando-There was no thought of pleasing you, when she
was christened.
―――
-
## p. 13238 (#36) ###########################################
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Jaques What stature is she of?
Orlando-Just as high as my heart.
Jaques-You are full of pretty answers. Have you not been
acquainted with goldsmiths' wives, and conned them out of rings?
Orlando-Not so; but I answer you right painted cloth, from
whence you have studied your questions.
Jaques You have a nimble wit: I think 'twas made of Ata-
lanta's heels. Will you sit down with me? and we two will rail
against our mistress the world, and all our misery.
Orlando-I will chide no breather in the world but myself,
against whom I know most faults.
Jaques - The worst fault you have is to be in love.
Orlando-'Tis a fault I will not change for your best virtue.
I am weary of you.
Jaques By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I found
you.
Orlando He is drowned in the brook: look but in, and you
Ishall see him.
-
-
Jaques - There I shall see mine own figure.
Orlando - Which I take to be either a fool or a cypher.
Jaques I'll tarry no longer with you.
Farewell, good
Signior Love.
Orlando - I am glad of your departure. Adieu, good Mon-
sieur Melancholy.
[Exit Jaques. - Rosalind and Celia come forward. ]
Rosalind [aside to Celia]-I will speak to him like a saucy
lackey, and under that habit play the knave with him. -[To him. ]
Do you hear, forester?
――――――
Orlando - Very well: what would you?
Rosalind I pray you, what is 't o'clock ?
Orlando - You should ask me, what time o' day: there's no
clock in the forest.
Rosalind-Then there is no true lover in the forest; else
sighing every minute, and groaning every hour, would detect the
lazy foot of time as well as a clock.
Orlando - And why not the swift foot of time? had not that
been as proper?
Rosalind-By no means, sir. Time travels in divers paces
with divers persons. I'll tell you who Time ambles withal, who
Time trots withal, who Time gallops withal, and who he stands.
still withal.
## p. 13239 (#37) ###########################################
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13239
-
Orlando I pr'ythee, who doth he trot withal?
Rosalind - Marry, he trots hard with a young maid, between
the contract of her marriage and the day it is solemnized: if the
interim be but a se'nnight, Time's pace is so hard that it seems
the length of seven years.
Orlando Who ambles Time withal?
――――
Rosalind With a priest that lacks Latin, and a rich man that
hath not the gout: for the one sleeps easily because he cannot
study, and the other lives merrily because he feels no pain; the
one lacking the burden of lean and wasteful learning, the other
knowing no burden of heavy tedious penury. These Time
ambles withal.
―――――――
Orlando - Who doth he gallop withal?
Rosalind With a thief to the gallows; for though he go as
softly as foot can fall, he thinks himself too soon there.
Orlando Who stands he still withal?
Rosalind - With lawyers in the vacation; for they sleep be-
tween term and term, and then they perceive not how time
moves.
Orlando - Where dwell you, pretty youth?
Rosalind-With this shepherdess, my sister; here in the skirts
of the forest, like fringe upon a petticoat.
Orlando - Are you native of this place?
Rosalind - As the coney, that you see dwell where she is
kindled.
Orlando - Your accent is something finer than you could pur-
chase in so removed a dwelling.
Rosalind - I have been told so of many: but indeed an old
religious uncle of mine taught me to speak, who was in his youth
an inland man; one that knew courtship too well, for there he
fell in love. I have heard him read many lectures against
it; and I thank God I am not a woman, to be touched with so
many giddy offenses as he hath generally taxed their whole sex
withal.
-
Orlando Can you remember any of the principal evils that
he laid to the charge of women?
Rosalind-There were none principal: they were all like one
another, as halfpence are; every one fault seeming monstrous,
till his fellow fault came to match it.
Orlando - I pr'ythee, recount some of them.
Rosalind-No: I will not cast away my physic but on those
that are sick. There is a man haunts the forest, that abuses our
## p. 13240 (#38) ###########################################
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SHAKESPEARE
young plants with carving Rosalind on their barks; hangs odes
upon hawthorns, and elegies on brambles: all, forsooth, deifying
the name of Rosalind; - if I could meet that fancy-monger I
would give him some good counsel, for he seems to have the quo-
tidian of love upon him.
Orlando- I am he that is so love-shaked. I pray you, tell
me your remedy.
Rosalind - There is none of my uncle's marks upon you: he
taught me how to know a man in love; in which cage of rushes,
I am sure, you are not prisoner.
Orlando- What were his marks?
-
love.
Rosalind- A lean cheek, which you have not; a blue eye, and
sunken, which you have not; an unquestionable spirit, which you
have not; a beard neglected, which you have not; - but I par-
don you for that, for, simply, your having in beard is a younger
brother's revenue. Then, your hose should be ungartered, your
bonnet unbanded, your sleeve unbuttoned, your shoe untied, and
everything about you demonstrating a careless desolation. But
you are no such man: you are rather point-device in your ac-
coutrements; as loving yourself, than seeming the lover of any
other.
Orlando- Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I
Rosalind-Me believe it? you may as soon make her that
you love believe it: which, I warrant, she is apter to do than to
confess she does; that is one of the points in the which women
still give the lie to their consciences. But in good sooth, are
you he that hangs the verses on the trees, wherein Rosalind is
so admired?
-
Orlando - I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of Rosa-
lind, I am that he, that unfortunate he.
Rosalind-But are you
you so much in love as your rhymes
――
speak?
Orlando- Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.
Rosalind - Love is merely a madness: and I tell you, deserves
as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do; and the reason
why they are not so punished and cured is, that the lunacy is so
ordinary that the whippers are in love too. Yet I profess cur-
ing it by counsel.
Orlando - Did you ever cure any so?
Rosalind-Yes, one; and in this manner.
He was to imagine
me his love, his mistress, and I set him every day to woo me:
## p. 13241 (#39) ###########################################
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13241
at which time would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be
effeminate, changeable, longing, and liking; proud, fantastical,
apish, shallow, inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles; for every
passion something, and for no passion truly anything, as boys
and women are, for the most part, cattle of this color: would
now like him, now loathe him; then entertain him, then forswear
him; now weep for him, then spit at him: that I drave my
suitor from his mad humor of love, to a loving humor of mad-
ness; which was, to forswear the full stream of the world, and
to live in a nook, merely monastic. And thus I cured him; and
this way will I take upon me to wash your liver as clean as a
sound sheep's heart, that there shall not be one spot of love in 't.
Orlando - I would not be cured, youth.
Rosalind - I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosa-
lind, and come every day to my cote, and woo me.
Orlando - Now, by the faith of my love, I will. Tell me
where it is.
Rosalind-Go with me to it, and I'll show it you; and by
the way, you shall tell me where in the forest you live. Will
you go?
Orlando-With all my heart, good youth.
Rosalind - Nay, you must call me Rosalind. - Come, sister,
will you go?
[Exeunt.
ING RICHARD-
Scene: Pomfret. The Dungeon of the Castle.
Κ'
RICHARD II. IN PRISON
From King Richard II. '
The Dungeon of the Castle. Enter King Richard.
I have been studying how I may compare
This prison, where I live, unto the world;
And for because the world is populous,
And here is not a creature but myself,
I cannot do it: yet I'll hammer 't out.
My brain I'll prove the female to my soul;
My soul, the father: and these two beget
A generation of still-breeding thoughts,
And these same thoughts people this little world;
In humors like the people of this world,
For no thought is contented. The better sort,
## p. 13242 (#40) ###########################################
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As thoughts of things divine, are intermixed
With scruples, and do set the word itself
Against the word;
As thus,-"Come, little ones;" and then again,—
"It is as hard to come, as for a camel
To thread the postern of a small needle's eye. "
Thoughts tending to ambition, they do plot
Unlikely wonders: how these vain weak nails
May tear a passage through the flinty ribs
Of this hard world, my ragged prison walls;
And, for they cannot, die in their own pride.
Thoughts tending to content flatter themselves
That they are not the first of fortune's slaves,
Nor shall not be the last: like silly beggars,
Who, sitting in the stocks, refuge their shame
That many have, and others must sit there;
And in this thought they find a kind of ease,
Bearing their own misfortune on the back
Of such as have before endured the like.
Thus play I, in one person, many people,
And none contented: sometimes am I king;
Then treason makes me wish myself a beggar,
And so I am; then crushing penury
Persuades me I was better when a king.
Then am I kinged again; and by-and-by
Think that I am unkinged by Bolingbroke,
And straight am nothing. - But whate'er I am,
Nor I, nor any man that but man is,
With nothing shall be pleased, till he be eased
With being nothing. - Music do I hear?
Ha, ha! keep time. -How sour sweet music is,
When time is broke, and no proportion kept!
So is it in the music of men's lives;
[Music. ,
And here have I the daintiness of ear
To check time broke in a disordered string,
But for the concord of my State and time
Had not an ear to hear my true time broke.
I wasted time, and now doth time waste me:
For now hath time made me his numbering clock;
My thoughts are minutes, and with sighs they jar
Their watches on unto mine eyes the outward watch,
Whereto my finger, like a dial's point,
Is pointing still, in cleansing them from tears.
Now, for the sound that tells what hour it is,
## p. 13243 (#41) ###########################################
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13243
OINS
Scene: Eastcheap. A Room in the Boar's Head Tavern.
Poins. Enter Falstaff, Gadshill, Bardolph, and Peto.
P
Are clamorous groans, that strike upon my heart,
Which is the bell: so sighs, and tears, and groans,
Show minutes, times, and hours; but my time
Runs posting on in Bolingbroke's proud joy,
While I stand fooling here, his Jack o' the clock.
This music mads me: let it sound no more;
For though it hath holpe madmen to their wits,
In me, it seems, it will make wise men mad.
Yet blessing on his heart that gives it me!
For 'tis a sign of love; and love to Richard
Is a strange brooch in this all-hating world.
―
FALSTAFF AND PRINCE HAL
From First Part of King Henry IV. )
Welcome, Jack. Where hast thou been?
Falstaff-A plague of all cowards, I say, and a vengeance
too! marry, and amen! - Give me a cup of sack, boy. -Ere I
lead this life long, I'll sew nether-stocks, and mend them, and
foot them too. A plague of all cowards! -Give me a cup of
sack, rogue. Is there no virtue extant?
[He drinks.
Prince Henry-Didst thou never see Titan kiss a dish of
butter? pitiful-hearted Titan, that melted at the sweet tale of the
sun! If thou didst, then behold that compound.
Falstaff-You rogue, here's lime in this sack too; there is
nothing but roguery to be found in villainous man: yet a coward
is worse than a cup of sack with lime in it; a villainous coward.
-Go thy ways, old Jack; die when thou wilt, if manhood, good
manhood, be not forgot upon the face of the earth, then am I
a shotten herring. There live not three good men unhanged
in England; and one of them is fat, and grows old: God help
the while! a bad world, I say. I would I were a weaver: I
could sing psalms or anything. A plague of all cowards, I say
still.
Prince Henry,
Prince Henry - How now, wool-sack! what mutter you?
Falstaff-A king's son! If I do not beat thee out of thy
kingdom with a dagger of lath, and drive all thy subjects afore
## p. 13244 (#42) ###########################################
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thee like a flock of wild geese, I'll never wear hair on my face
more. You Prince of Wales!
Prince Henry-Why, you whoreson round man, what's the
matter?
Falstaff-Are you not a coward? answer me to that! and
Poins there?
Poins-Zounds! ye fat paunch, and ye call me coward, I'll
stab thee.
Falstaff-I call thee coward! I'll see thee damned ere I call
thee coward; but I would give a thousand pound I could run as
fast as thou canst. You are straight enough in the shoulders;
you care not who sees your back. Call you that backing of
your friends?
A plague upon such backing! give me them that
will face me. -Give me a cup of sack: I am a rogue if I drunk
to-day.
Prince Henry-O villain! thy lips are scarce wiped since thou
drunkest last.
Falstaff― All's one for that. [He drinks. ] A plague of all
cowards, still say I.
Prince Henry-What's the matter?
Falstaff-What's the matter? there be four of us here have
ta'en a thousand pound this day morning.
Prince Henry-Where is it, Jack! where is it?
Falstaff-Where is it? taken from us it is: a hundred upon
poor four of us.
Prince Henry - What, a hundred, man?
Falstaff-I am a rogue, if I were not at half-sword with
a dozen of them two hours together. I have 'scaped by miracle.
I am eight times thrust through the doublet; four through the
hose; my buckler cut through and through; my sword hacked
like a hand-saw: ecce signum. [Drawing it. ] I never dealt better
since I was a man: all would not do. A plague of all cowards!
Let them speak: if they speak more or less than truth they
―――
are villains, and the sons of darkness.
Prince Henry-Speak, sirs: how was it?
Bardolph-We four set upon some dozen,—
Falstaff-Sixteen, at least, my lord.
Bardolph-And bound them.
Peto-No, no, they were not bound.
Falstaff-You rogue, they were bound, every man of them;
or I am a Jew else, an Ebrew Jew.
## p. 13245 (#43) ###########################################
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13245
Bardolph-As we were sharing, some six or seven fresh men
set upon us,—
Falstaff-And unbound the rest, and then come in the other.
Prince Henry-What! fought ye with them all?
Falstaff- All? I know not what ye call all: but if I fought
not with fifty of them, I am a bunch of radish; if there were
not two or three and fifty upon poor old Jack, then am I no
two-legged creature.
Prince Henry-Pray God you have not murdered some of
them.
―――
Falstaff-Nay, that's past praying for: I have peppered two
of them; two, I am sure, I have paid; two rogues in buckram
suits. I tell thee what, Hal - if I tell thee a lie, spit in my
face, call me horse. Thou knowest my old ward;-here I lay,
and thus I bore my point. Four rogues in buckram let drive at
me,-
-
-
Prince Henry – What, four? thou saidst but two even now.
Falstaff-Four, Hal; I told thee four.
Poins-Ay, ay, he said four.
Falstaff-These four came all a-front, and mainly thrust
at me. I made me no more ado, but took all their seven points
in my target, thus.
Prince Henry- Seven? why, there were but four even now.
Falstaff-In buckram.
Poins-Ay, four in buckram suits.
Falstaff - Seven, by these hilts, or I am a villain else.
Prince Henry [to Poins]-Pr'ythee, let him alone: we shall
have more anon.
――――
Falstaff-Dost thou hear me, Hal?
Prince Henry-Ay, and mark thee too, Jack.
Falstaff-Do so, for it is worth the listening to. These nine
in buckram, that I told thee of,-
――――――――
Prince Henry-So, two more already.
Falstaff-Their points being broken,—
Poins-Down fell their hose.
Falstaff-Began to give me ground; but I followed me close,
came in, foot and hand, and with a thought, seven of the eleven
I paid.
Prince Henry-Oh, monstrous! eleven buckram men grown
out of two.
## p. 13246 (#44) ###########################################
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Falstaff-But as the Devil would have it, three misbegotten
knaves in Kendal-green came at my back, and let drive at me;
for it was so dark, Hal, that thou couldst not see thy hand.
Prince Henry - These lies are like the father that begets
them: gross as a mountain; open, palpable. Why, thou clay-
brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson, obscene,
greasy tallow-keech-
Falstaff What! art thou mad? art thou mad? is not the
truth the truth?
Prince Henry-Why, how couldst thou know these men were
in Kendal-green, when it was so dark thou couldst not see thy
hand? Come, tell us your reason: what sayest thou to this?
Poins-Come, your reason, Jack, your reason.
Falstaff — What, upon compulsion? No: were I at the strap-
pado or all the racks in the world, I would not tell you on com-
pulsion. Give you a reason on compulsion! if reasons were as
plenty as blackberries, I would give no man a reason upon com-
pulsion, I.
Prince Henry-I'll be no longer guilty of this sin: this san-
guine coward, this bed-presser, this horse-back-breaker, this huge
hill of flesh-
-
Falstaff-Away, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-
tongue, bull's pizzle, you stockfish,-oh for breath to utter what
is like thee! you tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you
vile standing-tuck-
Prince Henry-Well, breathe awhile, and then to it again;
and when thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons, hear me
speak but this.
Poins - Mark, Jack.
Prince Henry-We two saw you four set on four; you bound
them, and were masters of their wealth. - Mark now, how plain
a tale shall put you down. -Then did we two set on you four,
and with a word, outfaced you from your prize, and have it;
yea, and can show it you here in the house. -And, Falstaff,
you carried your guts away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity,
and roared for mercy, and still ran and roared, as ever I heard
bullcalf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou hast
done, and then say it was in fight! What trick, what device,
what starting-hole, canst thou now find out, to hide thee from
this open and apparent shame ?
## p. 13247 (#45) ###########################################
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13247
Poins-Come, let's hear, Jack: what trick hast thou now?
Falstaff-By the Lord, I knew ye as well as He that made
ye. Why, hear ye, my masters: was it for me to kill the heir
apparent? Should I turn upon the true prince? Why, thou
knowest I am as valiant as Hercules: but beware instinct; the
lion will not touch the true prince. Instinct is a great matter; I
was a coward on instinct. I shall think the better of myself and
thee during my life; I for a valiant lion, and thou for a true
prince. But by the Lord, lads, I am glad you have the money.
FALSTAFF'S ARMY
From First Part of King Henry IV. )
Scene: A public road near Coventry.
Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.
F
ALSTAFF Bardolph, get thee before to Coventry; fill me a
bottle of sack. Our soldiers shall march through; we'll to
Sutton-Colfield to-night.
Bardolph-Will you give me money, captain?
Falstaff-Lay out, lay out.
Bardolph-This bottle makes an angel.
Falstaff- An if it do, take it for thy labor; and if it make
twenty, take them all,- I'll answer the coinage. Bid my lieuten-
ant Peto meet me at the town's end.
Bardolph-I will, captain: farewell.
[Exit.
Falstaff- If I be not ashamed of my soldiers, I am a soused
gurnet.
I have misused the King's press damnably. I have got,
in exchange of a hundred and fifty soldiers, three hundred and
odd pounds. I pressed me none but good householders, yeomen's
sons; inquired me out contracted bachelors, such as had been
asked twice on the bans: such a commodity of warm slaves, as
had as lief hear the Devil as a drum; such as fear the report
of a caliver worse than a struck fowl or a hurt wild-duck. I
pressed me none but such toasts and butter, with hearts in their
bellies no bigger than pins'-heads, and they have bought out
their services; and now my whole charge consists of ancients,
corporals, lieutenants, gentlemen of companies, slaves as ragged
as Lazarus in the painted cloth, where the glutton's dogs licked
his sores; and such as indeed were never soldiers, but discarded
## p. 13248 (#46) ###########################################
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unjust serving-men, younger sons to younger brothers, revolted
tapsters, and ostlers trade-fallen; the cankers of a calm world
and a long peace; ten times more dishonorable ragged than an
old pieced ancient: and such have I, to fill up the rooms of them
that have bought out their services, that you would think that
I had a hundred and fifty tattered prodigals, lately come from
swine-keeping, from eating draff and husks. A mad fellow met
me on the way, and told me I had unloaded all the gibbets and
pressed the dead bodies. No eye hath seen such scarecrows.
I'll not march through Coventry with them, that's flat; - nay, and
the villains march wide betwixt the legs, as if they had gyves
on; for indeed I had the most of them out of prison. There's
but a shirt and a half in all my company: and the half shirt is
two napkins, tacked together, and thrown over the shoulders like
a herald's coat without sleeves; and the shirt, to say the truth,
stolen from my host at St. Albans, or the red-nosed innkeeper
of Daventry. But that's all one: they'll find linen enough on
every hedge.
Enter Prince Henry and Westmoreland
Prince Henry-How now, blown Jack! how now, quilt!
Falstaff What, Hal! how now, mad wag! what a devil dost
thou in Warwickshire ? - My good lord of Westmoreland, I cry
you mercy: I thought your Honor had already been at Shrews-
bury.
Westmoreland-Faith, Sir John, 'tis more than time that I
were there, and you too; but my powers are there already. The
King, I can tell you, looks for us all: we must away all night.
Falstaff- Tut, never fear me: I am as vigilant as a cat to
steal cream.
Prince Henry-I think, to steal cream indeed; for thy theft
hath already made thee butter. But tell me, Jack: whose fellows
are these that come after?
Falstaff Mine, Hal, mine.
Prince Henry-I did never see such pitiful rascals.
Falstaff - Tut, tut! good enough to toss; food for powder,
food for powder; they'll fill a pit as well as better: tush, man,
mortal men, mortal men.
-
Westmoreland - Ay, but, Sir John, methinks they are exceed-
ing poor and bare; too beggarly.
## p. 13249 (#47) ###########################################
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13249
Falstaff-Faith, for their poverty, I know not where they had
and for their bareness, I am sure they never learned that
that;
of me.
Prince Henry - No, I'll be sworn; unless you call three fin-
gers on the ribs, bare. But, sirrah, make haste: Percy is already
in the field.
Falstaff-What, is the King encamped?
Westmoreland-He is, Sir John: I fear we shall stay too long.
Falstaff-Well-
To the latter end of a fray, and the beginning of a feast,
Fits a dull fighter, and a keen guest.
―――――――――
From First Part of King Henry IV.
Scene: Plain near Shrewsbury. Prince Henry fights with Hotspur.
Falstaff, who falls down as if
Hotspur is wounded, and falls.
-
Enter Douglas: he fights with
he were dead, and exit Douglas.
OTSPUR O Harry! thou hast robbed me of my youth.
HⓇ
I better brook the loss of brittle life,
Than those proud titles thou hast won of me;
They wound my thoughts worse than thy sword my flesh. -
But thought's the slave of life, and life time's fool:
And time, that takes survey of all the world,
Must have a stop. Oh, I could prophesy,
But that the earthy and cold hand of death
Lies on my tongue. - No, Percy, thou art dust,
And food for-
Prince Henry-
FALSTAFF IN BATTLE
-
[Dies
For worms, brave Percy. Fare thee well, great heart!
Ill-weaved ambition, how much art thou shrunk!
When that this body did contain a spirit,
A kingdom for it was too small a bound;
But now, two paces of the vilest earth
Is room enough; this earth that bears thee dead,
Bears not alive so stout a gentleman.
If thou wert sensible of courtesy,
I should not make so dear a show of zeal;
But let my favors hide thy mangled face,
And even in thy behalf, I'll thank myself
XXIII-829
―――――――
## p. 13250 (#48) ###########################################
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For doing these fair rites of tenderness.
Adieu, and take thy praise with thee to heaven:
Thy ignomy sleep with thee in the grave,
But not remembered in thy epitaph. -
[Seeing Falstaff on the ground. ]
What, old acquaintance! could not all this flesh
Keep in a little life? Poor Jack, farewell:
I could have better spared a better man.
Oh! I should have a heavy miss of thee,
If I were much in love with vanity.
Death hath not struck so fat a deer to-day,
Though many dearer, in this bloody fray. —
Emboweled will I see thee by-and-by;
Till then, in blood by noble Percy lie.
[Exit.
Falstaff [rising] - Emboweled! If thou embowel me to-day, I'll
give you leave to powder me, and eat me too, to-morrow. 'Sblood!
'twas time to counterfeit, or that hot termagant Scot had paid me
scot and lot too. Counterfeit ? I lie; I am no counterfeit: to die is
to be a counterfeit; for he is but the counterfeit of a man who hath
not the life of a man: but to counterfeit dying, when a man thereby
liveth, is to be no counterfeit, but the true and perfect image of life
indeed. The better part of valor is discretion; in the which better
part, I have saved my life. 'Zounds! I am afraid of this gunpowder
Percy, though he be dead. How if he should counterfeit too, and
rise? By my faith, I am afraid he would prove the better counter-
feit. Therefore I'll make him sure; yea, and I'll swear I killed him.
Why may not he rise, as well as I? Nothing confutes me but eyes,
and nobody sees me; therefore, sirrah, with a new wound in your
thigh come you along with me. [He takes Hotspur on his back.
Re-enter Prince Henry and Prince John
Prince Henry-
Come, brother John: full bravely hast thou fleshed
Thy maiden sword.
Prince John-
But soft! whom have we here?
Did you not tell me this fat man was dead?
Prince Henry —
-
I did; I saw him dead, breathless, and bleeding
On the ground. —
Art thou alive, or is it phantasy
That plays upon our eyesight? I pr'ythee, speak;
We will not trust our eyes, without our ears.
Thou art not what thou seemest.
## p. 13251 (#49) ###########################################
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13251
Falstaff-No, that's certain: I am not a double man; but if I be
not Jack Falstaff, then am I a Jack. There is Percy [throwing down
the body]: if your father will do me any honor, so; if not, let him
kill the next Percy himself. I look to be either earl or duke, I can
assure you.
Prince Henry-Why, Percy I killed myself, and saw thee dead.
Falstaff Didst thou? -Lord, lord, how this world is given to
lying! I grant you I was down and out of breath, and so was he;
but we rose both at an instant, and fought a long hour by Shrews-
bury clock. If I may be believed, so; if not, let them that should
reward valor bear the sin upon their own heads. I'll take it upon
my death, I gave him this wound in the thigh: if the man were
alive, and would deny it -'zounds! I would make him eat a piece of
my sword.
Prince John-
This is the strangest tale that e'er I heard.
Prince Henry-
This is the strangest fellow, brother John. -
Come, bring your luggage nobly on your back:
For my part, if a lie may do thee grace,
I'll gild it with the happiest terms I have.
[A retreat is sounded.
Did he ask for me? Where remains he? How parted he with
thee, and when shalt thou see him again?
word.
Answer me in one
Celia-You must borrow me Gargantua's mouth first: 'tis
a word too great for any mouth of this age's size. To say ay
and no to these particulars is more than to answer in a cate-
chism.
## p. 13237 (#35) ###########################################
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13237
Rosalind-But doth he know that I am in this forest, and
in man's apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the day he
wrestled?
Celia It is as easy to count atomies, as to resolve the prop-
ositions of a lover; but take a taste of my finding him, and
relish it with good observance. I found him under a tree, like a
dropped acorn.
Rosalind-It may well be called Jove's tree, when it drops
forth such fruit.
Celia - Give me audience, good madam.
Rosalind - Proceed.
Celia - There lay he stretched along, like a wounded knight.
Rosalind-Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well be-
comes the ground.
Celia Cry, holla! to thy tongue, I pr'ythee: it curvets un-
seasonably. He was furnished like a hunter.
-
Rosalind - Oh, ominous! he comes to kill my heart.
Celia - I would sing my song without a burden: thou bring'st
me out of tune.
Celia
Rosalind - Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I
must speak. Sweet, say on.
Enter Orlando and Jaques
You bring me out. - Soft! comes he not here?
Rosalind-'Tis he: slink by, and note him.
-
[Rosalind and Celia retire.
Jaques I thank you for your company; but, good faith, I
had as lief have been myself alone.
-
Orlando - And so had I; but yet, for fashion sake, I thank
you too for your society.
Jaques-Good-by, you: let's meet as little as we can.
Orlando - I do desire we may be better strangers.
Jaques — I pray you, mar no more trees with writing love-
songs in their barks.
Orlando-I pray you, mar no more of my verses with reading
them ill-favoredly.
Jaques Rosalind is your love's name?
Orlando-Yes, just.
Jaques I do not like her name.
Orlando-There was no thought of pleasing you, when she
was christened.
―――
-
## p. 13238 (#36) ###########################################
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SHAKESPEARE
Jaques What stature is she of?
Orlando-Just as high as my heart.
Jaques-You are full of pretty answers. Have you not been
acquainted with goldsmiths' wives, and conned them out of rings?
Orlando-Not so; but I answer you right painted cloth, from
whence you have studied your questions.
Jaques You have a nimble wit: I think 'twas made of Ata-
lanta's heels. Will you sit down with me? and we two will rail
against our mistress the world, and all our misery.
Orlando-I will chide no breather in the world but myself,
against whom I know most faults.
Jaques - The worst fault you have is to be in love.
Orlando-'Tis a fault I will not change for your best virtue.
I am weary of you.
Jaques By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I found
you.
Orlando He is drowned in the brook: look but in, and you
Ishall see him.
-
-
Jaques - There I shall see mine own figure.
Orlando - Which I take to be either a fool or a cypher.
Jaques I'll tarry no longer with you.
Farewell, good
Signior Love.
Orlando - I am glad of your departure. Adieu, good Mon-
sieur Melancholy.
[Exit Jaques. - Rosalind and Celia come forward. ]
Rosalind [aside to Celia]-I will speak to him like a saucy
lackey, and under that habit play the knave with him. -[To him. ]
Do you hear, forester?
――――――
Orlando - Very well: what would you?
Rosalind I pray you, what is 't o'clock ?
Orlando - You should ask me, what time o' day: there's no
clock in the forest.
Rosalind-Then there is no true lover in the forest; else
sighing every minute, and groaning every hour, would detect the
lazy foot of time as well as a clock.
Orlando - And why not the swift foot of time? had not that
been as proper?
Rosalind-By no means, sir. Time travels in divers paces
with divers persons. I'll tell you who Time ambles withal, who
Time trots withal, who Time gallops withal, and who he stands.
still withal.
## p. 13239 (#37) ###########################################
SHAKESPEARE
13239
-
Orlando I pr'ythee, who doth he trot withal?
Rosalind - Marry, he trots hard with a young maid, between
the contract of her marriage and the day it is solemnized: if the
interim be but a se'nnight, Time's pace is so hard that it seems
the length of seven years.
Orlando Who ambles Time withal?
――――
Rosalind With a priest that lacks Latin, and a rich man that
hath not the gout: for the one sleeps easily because he cannot
study, and the other lives merrily because he feels no pain; the
one lacking the burden of lean and wasteful learning, the other
knowing no burden of heavy tedious penury. These Time
ambles withal.
―――――――
Orlando - Who doth he gallop withal?
Rosalind With a thief to the gallows; for though he go as
softly as foot can fall, he thinks himself too soon there.
Orlando Who stands he still withal?
Rosalind - With lawyers in the vacation; for they sleep be-
tween term and term, and then they perceive not how time
moves.
Orlando - Where dwell you, pretty youth?
Rosalind-With this shepherdess, my sister; here in the skirts
of the forest, like fringe upon a petticoat.
Orlando - Are you native of this place?
Rosalind - As the coney, that you see dwell where she is
kindled.
Orlando - Your accent is something finer than you could pur-
chase in so removed a dwelling.
Rosalind - I have been told so of many: but indeed an old
religious uncle of mine taught me to speak, who was in his youth
an inland man; one that knew courtship too well, for there he
fell in love. I have heard him read many lectures against
it; and I thank God I am not a woman, to be touched with so
many giddy offenses as he hath generally taxed their whole sex
withal.
-
Orlando Can you remember any of the principal evils that
he laid to the charge of women?
Rosalind-There were none principal: they were all like one
another, as halfpence are; every one fault seeming monstrous,
till his fellow fault came to match it.
Orlando - I pr'ythee, recount some of them.
Rosalind-No: I will not cast away my physic but on those
that are sick. There is a man haunts the forest, that abuses our
## p. 13240 (#38) ###########################################
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SHAKESPEARE
young plants with carving Rosalind on their barks; hangs odes
upon hawthorns, and elegies on brambles: all, forsooth, deifying
the name of Rosalind; - if I could meet that fancy-monger I
would give him some good counsel, for he seems to have the quo-
tidian of love upon him.
Orlando- I am he that is so love-shaked. I pray you, tell
me your remedy.
Rosalind - There is none of my uncle's marks upon you: he
taught me how to know a man in love; in which cage of rushes,
I am sure, you are not prisoner.
Orlando- What were his marks?
-
love.
Rosalind- A lean cheek, which you have not; a blue eye, and
sunken, which you have not; an unquestionable spirit, which you
have not; a beard neglected, which you have not; - but I par-
don you for that, for, simply, your having in beard is a younger
brother's revenue. Then, your hose should be ungartered, your
bonnet unbanded, your sleeve unbuttoned, your shoe untied, and
everything about you demonstrating a careless desolation. But
you are no such man: you are rather point-device in your ac-
coutrements; as loving yourself, than seeming the lover of any
other.
Orlando- Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I
Rosalind-Me believe it? you may as soon make her that
you love believe it: which, I warrant, she is apter to do than to
confess she does; that is one of the points in the which women
still give the lie to their consciences. But in good sooth, are
you he that hangs the verses on the trees, wherein Rosalind is
so admired?
-
Orlando - I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of Rosa-
lind, I am that he, that unfortunate he.
Rosalind-But are you
you so much in love as your rhymes
――
speak?
Orlando- Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.
Rosalind - Love is merely a madness: and I tell you, deserves
as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do; and the reason
why they are not so punished and cured is, that the lunacy is so
ordinary that the whippers are in love too. Yet I profess cur-
ing it by counsel.
Orlando - Did you ever cure any so?
Rosalind-Yes, one; and in this manner.
He was to imagine
me his love, his mistress, and I set him every day to woo me:
## p. 13241 (#39) ###########################################
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13241
at which time would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be
effeminate, changeable, longing, and liking; proud, fantastical,
apish, shallow, inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles; for every
passion something, and for no passion truly anything, as boys
and women are, for the most part, cattle of this color: would
now like him, now loathe him; then entertain him, then forswear
him; now weep for him, then spit at him: that I drave my
suitor from his mad humor of love, to a loving humor of mad-
ness; which was, to forswear the full stream of the world, and
to live in a nook, merely monastic. And thus I cured him; and
this way will I take upon me to wash your liver as clean as a
sound sheep's heart, that there shall not be one spot of love in 't.
Orlando - I would not be cured, youth.
Rosalind - I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosa-
lind, and come every day to my cote, and woo me.
Orlando - Now, by the faith of my love, I will. Tell me
where it is.
Rosalind-Go with me to it, and I'll show it you; and by
the way, you shall tell me where in the forest you live. Will
you go?
Orlando-With all my heart, good youth.
Rosalind - Nay, you must call me Rosalind. - Come, sister,
will you go?
[Exeunt.
ING RICHARD-
Scene: Pomfret. The Dungeon of the Castle.
Κ'
RICHARD II. IN PRISON
From King Richard II. '
The Dungeon of the Castle. Enter King Richard.
I have been studying how I may compare
This prison, where I live, unto the world;
And for because the world is populous,
And here is not a creature but myself,
I cannot do it: yet I'll hammer 't out.
My brain I'll prove the female to my soul;
My soul, the father: and these two beget
A generation of still-breeding thoughts,
And these same thoughts people this little world;
In humors like the people of this world,
For no thought is contented. The better sort,
## p. 13242 (#40) ###########################################
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SHAKESPEARE
As thoughts of things divine, are intermixed
With scruples, and do set the word itself
Against the word;
As thus,-"Come, little ones;" and then again,—
"It is as hard to come, as for a camel
To thread the postern of a small needle's eye. "
Thoughts tending to ambition, they do plot
Unlikely wonders: how these vain weak nails
May tear a passage through the flinty ribs
Of this hard world, my ragged prison walls;
And, for they cannot, die in their own pride.
Thoughts tending to content flatter themselves
That they are not the first of fortune's slaves,
Nor shall not be the last: like silly beggars,
Who, sitting in the stocks, refuge their shame
That many have, and others must sit there;
And in this thought they find a kind of ease,
Bearing their own misfortune on the back
Of such as have before endured the like.
Thus play I, in one person, many people,
And none contented: sometimes am I king;
Then treason makes me wish myself a beggar,
And so I am; then crushing penury
Persuades me I was better when a king.
Then am I kinged again; and by-and-by
Think that I am unkinged by Bolingbroke,
And straight am nothing. - But whate'er I am,
Nor I, nor any man that but man is,
With nothing shall be pleased, till he be eased
With being nothing. - Music do I hear?
Ha, ha! keep time. -How sour sweet music is,
When time is broke, and no proportion kept!
So is it in the music of men's lives;
[Music. ,
And here have I the daintiness of ear
To check time broke in a disordered string,
But for the concord of my State and time
Had not an ear to hear my true time broke.
I wasted time, and now doth time waste me:
For now hath time made me his numbering clock;
My thoughts are minutes, and with sighs they jar
Their watches on unto mine eyes the outward watch,
Whereto my finger, like a dial's point,
Is pointing still, in cleansing them from tears.
Now, for the sound that tells what hour it is,
## p. 13243 (#41) ###########################################
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13243
OINS
Scene: Eastcheap. A Room in the Boar's Head Tavern.
Poins. Enter Falstaff, Gadshill, Bardolph, and Peto.
P
Are clamorous groans, that strike upon my heart,
Which is the bell: so sighs, and tears, and groans,
Show minutes, times, and hours; but my time
Runs posting on in Bolingbroke's proud joy,
While I stand fooling here, his Jack o' the clock.
This music mads me: let it sound no more;
For though it hath holpe madmen to their wits,
In me, it seems, it will make wise men mad.
Yet blessing on his heart that gives it me!
For 'tis a sign of love; and love to Richard
Is a strange brooch in this all-hating world.
―
FALSTAFF AND PRINCE HAL
From First Part of King Henry IV. )
Welcome, Jack. Where hast thou been?
Falstaff-A plague of all cowards, I say, and a vengeance
too! marry, and amen! - Give me a cup of sack, boy. -Ere I
lead this life long, I'll sew nether-stocks, and mend them, and
foot them too. A plague of all cowards! -Give me a cup of
sack, rogue. Is there no virtue extant?
[He drinks.
Prince Henry-Didst thou never see Titan kiss a dish of
butter? pitiful-hearted Titan, that melted at the sweet tale of the
sun! If thou didst, then behold that compound.
Falstaff-You rogue, here's lime in this sack too; there is
nothing but roguery to be found in villainous man: yet a coward
is worse than a cup of sack with lime in it; a villainous coward.
-Go thy ways, old Jack; die when thou wilt, if manhood, good
manhood, be not forgot upon the face of the earth, then am I
a shotten herring. There live not three good men unhanged
in England; and one of them is fat, and grows old: God help
the while! a bad world, I say. I would I were a weaver: I
could sing psalms or anything. A plague of all cowards, I say
still.
Prince Henry,
Prince Henry - How now, wool-sack! what mutter you?
Falstaff-A king's son! If I do not beat thee out of thy
kingdom with a dagger of lath, and drive all thy subjects afore
## p. 13244 (#42) ###########################################
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SHAKESPEARE
thee like a flock of wild geese, I'll never wear hair on my face
more. You Prince of Wales!
Prince Henry-Why, you whoreson round man, what's the
matter?
Falstaff-Are you not a coward? answer me to that! and
Poins there?
Poins-Zounds! ye fat paunch, and ye call me coward, I'll
stab thee.
Falstaff-I call thee coward! I'll see thee damned ere I call
thee coward; but I would give a thousand pound I could run as
fast as thou canst. You are straight enough in the shoulders;
you care not who sees your back. Call you that backing of
your friends?
A plague upon such backing! give me them that
will face me. -Give me a cup of sack: I am a rogue if I drunk
to-day.
Prince Henry-O villain! thy lips are scarce wiped since thou
drunkest last.
Falstaff― All's one for that. [He drinks. ] A plague of all
cowards, still say I.
Prince Henry-What's the matter?
Falstaff-What's the matter? there be four of us here have
ta'en a thousand pound this day morning.
Prince Henry-Where is it, Jack! where is it?
Falstaff-Where is it? taken from us it is: a hundred upon
poor four of us.
Prince Henry - What, a hundred, man?
Falstaff-I am a rogue, if I were not at half-sword with
a dozen of them two hours together. I have 'scaped by miracle.
I am eight times thrust through the doublet; four through the
hose; my buckler cut through and through; my sword hacked
like a hand-saw: ecce signum. [Drawing it. ] I never dealt better
since I was a man: all would not do. A plague of all cowards!
Let them speak: if they speak more or less than truth they
―――
are villains, and the sons of darkness.
Prince Henry-Speak, sirs: how was it?
Bardolph-We four set upon some dozen,—
Falstaff-Sixteen, at least, my lord.
Bardolph-And bound them.
Peto-No, no, they were not bound.
Falstaff-You rogue, they were bound, every man of them;
or I am a Jew else, an Ebrew Jew.
## p. 13245 (#43) ###########################################
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13245
Bardolph-As we were sharing, some six or seven fresh men
set upon us,—
Falstaff-And unbound the rest, and then come in the other.
Prince Henry-What! fought ye with them all?
Falstaff- All? I know not what ye call all: but if I fought
not with fifty of them, I am a bunch of radish; if there were
not two or three and fifty upon poor old Jack, then am I no
two-legged creature.
Prince Henry-Pray God you have not murdered some of
them.
―――
Falstaff-Nay, that's past praying for: I have peppered two
of them; two, I am sure, I have paid; two rogues in buckram
suits. I tell thee what, Hal - if I tell thee a lie, spit in my
face, call me horse. Thou knowest my old ward;-here I lay,
and thus I bore my point. Four rogues in buckram let drive at
me,-
-
-
Prince Henry – What, four? thou saidst but two even now.
Falstaff-Four, Hal; I told thee four.
Poins-Ay, ay, he said four.
Falstaff-These four came all a-front, and mainly thrust
at me. I made me no more ado, but took all their seven points
in my target, thus.
Prince Henry- Seven? why, there were but four even now.
Falstaff-In buckram.
Poins-Ay, four in buckram suits.
Falstaff - Seven, by these hilts, or I am a villain else.
Prince Henry [to Poins]-Pr'ythee, let him alone: we shall
have more anon.
――――
Falstaff-Dost thou hear me, Hal?
Prince Henry-Ay, and mark thee too, Jack.
Falstaff-Do so, for it is worth the listening to. These nine
in buckram, that I told thee of,-
――――――――
Prince Henry-So, two more already.
Falstaff-Their points being broken,—
Poins-Down fell their hose.
Falstaff-Began to give me ground; but I followed me close,
came in, foot and hand, and with a thought, seven of the eleven
I paid.
Prince Henry-Oh, monstrous! eleven buckram men grown
out of two.
## p. 13246 (#44) ###########################################
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SHAKESPEARE
Falstaff-But as the Devil would have it, three misbegotten
knaves in Kendal-green came at my back, and let drive at me;
for it was so dark, Hal, that thou couldst not see thy hand.
Prince Henry - These lies are like the father that begets
them: gross as a mountain; open, palpable. Why, thou clay-
brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson, obscene,
greasy tallow-keech-
Falstaff What! art thou mad? art thou mad? is not the
truth the truth?
Prince Henry-Why, how couldst thou know these men were
in Kendal-green, when it was so dark thou couldst not see thy
hand? Come, tell us your reason: what sayest thou to this?
Poins-Come, your reason, Jack, your reason.
Falstaff — What, upon compulsion? No: were I at the strap-
pado or all the racks in the world, I would not tell you on com-
pulsion. Give you a reason on compulsion! if reasons were as
plenty as blackberries, I would give no man a reason upon com-
pulsion, I.
Prince Henry-I'll be no longer guilty of this sin: this san-
guine coward, this bed-presser, this horse-back-breaker, this huge
hill of flesh-
-
Falstaff-Away, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-
tongue, bull's pizzle, you stockfish,-oh for breath to utter what
is like thee! you tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you
vile standing-tuck-
Prince Henry-Well, breathe awhile, and then to it again;
and when thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons, hear me
speak but this.
Poins - Mark, Jack.
Prince Henry-We two saw you four set on four; you bound
them, and were masters of their wealth. - Mark now, how plain
a tale shall put you down. -Then did we two set on you four,
and with a word, outfaced you from your prize, and have it;
yea, and can show it you here in the house. -And, Falstaff,
you carried your guts away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity,
and roared for mercy, and still ran and roared, as ever I heard
bullcalf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou hast
done, and then say it was in fight! What trick, what device,
what starting-hole, canst thou now find out, to hide thee from
this open and apparent shame ?
## p. 13247 (#45) ###########################################
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13247
Poins-Come, let's hear, Jack: what trick hast thou now?
Falstaff-By the Lord, I knew ye as well as He that made
ye. Why, hear ye, my masters: was it for me to kill the heir
apparent? Should I turn upon the true prince? Why, thou
knowest I am as valiant as Hercules: but beware instinct; the
lion will not touch the true prince. Instinct is a great matter; I
was a coward on instinct. I shall think the better of myself and
thee during my life; I for a valiant lion, and thou for a true
prince. But by the Lord, lads, I am glad you have the money.
FALSTAFF'S ARMY
From First Part of King Henry IV. )
Scene: A public road near Coventry.
Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.
F
ALSTAFF Bardolph, get thee before to Coventry; fill me a
bottle of sack. Our soldiers shall march through; we'll to
Sutton-Colfield to-night.
Bardolph-Will you give me money, captain?
Falstaff-Lay out, lay out.
Bardolph-This bottle makes an angel.
Falstaff- An if it do, take it for thy labor; and if it make
twenty, take them all,- I'll answer the coinage. Bid my lieuten-
ant Peto meet me at the town's end.
Bardolph-I will, captain: farewell.
[Exit.
Falstaff- If I be not ashamed of my soldiers, I am a soused
gurnet.
I have misused the King's press damnably. I have got,
in exchange of a hundred and fifty soldiers, three hundred and
odd pounds. I pressed me none but good householders, yeomen's
sons; inquired me out contracted bachelors, such as had been
asked twice on the bans: such a commodity of warm slaves, as
had as lief hear the Devil as a drum; such as fear the report
of a caliver worse than a struck fowl or a hurt wild-duck. I
pressed me none but such toasts and butter, with hearts in their
bellies no bigger than pins'-heads, and they have bought out
their services; and now my whole charge consists of ancients,
corporals, lieutenants, gentlemen of companies, slaves as ragged
as Lazarus in the painted cloth, where the glutton's dogs licked
his sores; and such as indeed were never soldiers, but discarded
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SHAKESPEARE
unjust serving-men, younger sons to younger brothers, revolted
tapsters, and ostlers trade-fallen; the cankers of a calm world
and a long peace; ten times more dishonorable ragged than an
old pieced ancient: and such have I, to fill up the rooms of them
that have bought out their services, that you would think that
I had a hundred and fifty tattered prodigals, lately come from
swine-keeping, from eating draff and husks. A mad fellow met
me on the way, and told me I had unloaded all the gibbets and
pressed the dead bodies. No eye hath seen such scarecrows.
I'll not march through Coventry with them, that's flat; - nay, and
the villains march wide betwixt the legs, as if they had gyves
on; for indeed I had the most of them out of prison. There's
but a shirt and a half in all my company: and the half shirt is
two napkins, tacked together, and thrown over the shoulders like
a herald's coat without sleeves; and the shirt, to say the truth,
stolen from my host at St. Albans, or the red-nosed innkeeper
of Daventry. But that's all one: they'll find linen enough on
every hedge.
Enter Prince Henry and Westmoreland
Prince Henry-How now, blown Jack! how now, quilt!
Falstaff What, Hal! how now, mad wag! what a devil dost
thou in Warwickshire ? - My good lord of Westmoreland, I cry
you mercy: I thought your Honor had already been at Shrews-
bury.
Westmoreland-Faith, Sir John, 'tis more than time that I
were there, and you too; but my powers are there already. The
King, I can tell you, looks for us all: we must away all night.
Falstaff- Tut, never fear me: I am as vigilant as a cat to
steal cream.
Prince Henry-I think, to steal cream indeed; for thy theft
hath already made thee butter. But tell me, Jack: whose fellows
are these that come after?
Falstaff Mine, Hal, mine.
Prince Henry-I did never see such pitiful rascals.
Falstaff - Tut, tut! good enough to toss; food for powder,
food for powder; they'll fill a pit as well as better: tush, man,
mortal men, mortal men.
-
Westmoreland - Ay, but, Sir John, methinks they are exceed-
ing poor and bare; too beggarly.
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13249
Falstaff-Faith, for their poverty, I know not where they had
and for their bareness, I am sure they never learned that
that;
of me.
Prince Henry - No, I'll be sworn; unless you call three fin-
gers on the ribs, bare. But, sirrah, make haste: Percy is already
in the field.
Falstaff-What, is the King encamped?
Westmoreland-He is, Sir John: I fear we shall stay too long.
Falstaff-Well-
To the latter end of a fray, and the beginning of a feast,
Fits a dull fighter, and a keen guest.
―――――――――
From First Part of King Henry IV.
Scene: Plain near Shrewsbury. Prince Henry fights with Hotspur.
Falstaff, who falls down as if
Hotspur is wounded, and falls.
-
Enter Douglas: he fights with
he were dead, and exit Douglas.
OTSPUR O Harry! thou hast robbed me of my youth.
HⓇ
I better brook the loss of brittle life,
Than those proud titles thou hast won of me;
They wound my thoughts worse than thy sword my flesh. -
But thought's the slave of life, and life time's fool:
And time, that takes survey of all the world,
Must have a stop. Oh, I could prophesy,
But that the earthy and cold hand of death
Lies on my tongue. - No, Percy, thou art dust,
And food for-
Prince Henry-
FALSTAFF IN BATTLE
-
[Dies
For worms, brave Percy. Fare thee well, great heart!
Ill-weaved ambition, how much art thou shrunk!
When that this body did contain a spirit,
A kingdom for it was too small a bound;
But now, two paces of the vilest earth
Is room enough; this earth that bears thee dead,
Bears not alive so stout a gentleman.
If thou wert sensible of courtesy,
I should not make so dear a show of zeal;
But let my favors hide thy mangled face,
And even in thy behalf, I'll thank myself
XXIII-829
―――――――
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For doing these fair rites of tenderness.
Adieu, and take thy praise with thee to heaven:
Thy ignomy sleep with thee in the grave,
But not remembered in thy epitaph. -
[Seeing Falstaff on the ground. ]
What, old acquaintance! could not all this flesh
Keep in a little life? Poor Jack, farewell:
I could have better spared a better man.
Oh! I should have a heavy miss of thee,
If I were much in love with vanity.
Death hath not struck so fat a deer to-day,
Though many dearer, in this bloody fray. —
Emboweled will I see thee by-and-by;
Till then, in blood by noble Percy lie.
[Exit.
Falstaff [rising] - Emboweled! If thou embowel me to-day, I'll
give you leave to powder me, and eat me too, to-morrow. 'Sblood!
'twas time to counterfeit, or that hot termagant Scot had paid me
scot and lot too. Counterfeit ? I lie; I am no counterfeit: to die is
to be a counterfeit; for he is but the counterfeit of a man who hath
not the life of a man: but to counterfeit dying, when a man thereby
liveth, is to be no counterfeit, but the true and perfect image of life
indeed. The better part of valor is discretion; in the which better
part, I have saved my life. 'Zounds! I am afraid of this gunpowder
Percy, though he be dead. How if he should counterfeit too, and
rise? By my faith, I am afraid he would prove the better counter-
feit. Therefore I'll make him sure; yea, and I'll swear I killed him.
Why may not he rise, as well as I? Nothing confutes me but eyes,
and nobody sees me; therefore, sirrah, with a new wound in your
thigh come you along with me. [He takes Hotspur on his back.
Re-enter Prince Henry and Prince John
Prince Henry-
Come, brother John: full bravely hast thou fleshed
Thy maiden sword.
Prince John-
But soft! whom have we here?
Did you not tell me this fat man was dead?
Prince Henry —
-
I did; I saw him dead, breathless, and bleeding
On the ground. —
Art thou alive, or is it phantasy
That plays upon our eyesight? I pr'ythee, speak;
We will not trust our eyes, without our ears.
Thou art not what thou seemest.
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Falstaff-No, that's certain: I am not a double man; but if I be
not Jack Falstaff, then am I a Jack. There is Percy [throwing down
the body]: if your father will do me any honor, so; if not, let him
kill the next Percy himself. I look to be either earl or duke, I can
assure you.
Prince Henry-Why, Percy I killed myself, and saw thee dead.
Falstaff Didst thou? -Lord, lord, how this world is given to
lying! I grant you I was down and out of breath, and so was he;
but we rose both at an instant, and fought a long hour by Shrews-
bury clock. If I may be believed, so; if not, let them that should
reward valor bear the sin upon their own heads. I'll take it upon
my death, I gave him this wound in the thigh: if the man were
alive, and would deny it -'zounds! I would make him eat a piece of
my sword.
Prince John-
This is the strangest tale that e'er I heard.
Prince Henry-
This is the strangest fellow, brother John. -
Come, bring your luggage nobly on your back:
For my part, if a lie may do thee grace,
I'll gild it with the happiest terms I have.
[A retreat is sounded.
