No More Learning

I have thought
of Lucy, and I shall not dishonour her by mixing the two. If need be,
to-night shall be sleepless. . . .

Glad I made the resolution; gladder that I kept to it. I had lain
tossing about, and had heard the clock strike only twice, when the
night-watchman came to me, sent up from the ward, to say that Renfield
had escaped. I threw on my clothes and ran down at once; my patient is
too dangerous a person to be roaming about. Those ideas of his might
work out dangerously with strangers. The attendant was waiting for me.
He said he had seen him not ten minutes before, seemingly asleep in his
bed, when he had looked through the observation-trap in the door. His
attention was called by the sound of the window being wrenched out. He
ran back and saw his feet disappear through the window, and had at once
sent up for me. He was only in his night-gear, and cannot be far off.
The attendant thought it would be more useful to watch where he should
go than to follow him, as he might lose sight of him whilst getting
out of the building by the door. He is a bulky man, and couldn't get
through the window. I am thin, so, with his aid, I got out, but feet
foremost, and, as we were only a few feet above ground, landed unhurt.
The attendant told me the patient had gone to the left and had taken a
straight line, so I ran as quickly as I could. As I got through the belt
of trees I saw a white figure scale the high wall which separates our
grounds from those of the deserted house.

I ran back at once, and told the watchman to get three or four men
immediately and follow me into the grounds of Carfax, in case our
friend might be dangerous. I got a ladder myself, and crossing the
wall, dropped down on the other side. I could see Renfield's figure
just disappearing behind the angle of the house, so I ran after him.
On the far side of the house I found him pressed close against the old
iron-bound oak door of the chapel. He was talking, apparently to some
one, but I was afraid to go near enough to hear what he was saying, lest
I might frighten him, and he should run off. Chasing an errant swarm of
bees is nothing to following a naked lunatic when the fit of escaping is
upon him! After a few minutes, however, I could see that he did not take
note of anything around him, and so ventured to draw nearer to him--the
more so as my men had now crossed the wall and were closing him in. I
heard him say:--

"I am here to do Your bidding, Master. I am Your slave, and You will
reward me, for I shall be faithful. I have worshipped You long and afar
off. Now that You are near, I await Your commands, and You will not pass
me by, will You, dear Master, in Your distribution of good things? "

He _is_ a selfish old beggar anyhow. He thinks of the loaves and fishes
even when he believes he is in a Real Presence. His manias make a
startling combination. When we closed in on him he fought like a tiger.
He is immensely strong, and he was more like a wild beast than a man.
I never saw a lunatic in such a paroxysm of rage before; and I hope I
shall not again. It is a mercy that we have found out his strength and
his danger in good time. With strength and determination like his, he
might have done wild work before he was caged. He is safe now at any
rate. Jack Sheppard himself couldn't get free from the strait-waistcoat
that keeps him restrained, and he's chained to the wall in the padded
room. His cries are at times awful, but the silences that follow are
more deadly still, for he means murder in every turn and movement.

Just now he spoke coherent words for the first time:--

"I shall be patient, Master. It is coming--coming--coming! "

So I took the hint, and came too. I was too excited to sleep, but this
diary has quieted me, and I feel I shall get some sleep to-night.




CHAPTER IX.

_Letter, Mina Harker to Lucy Westenra. _


_"Buda-Pesth, 24 August. _

"My dearest Lucy,--

"I know you will be anxious to hear all that has happened since we
parted at the railway station at Whitby. Well, my dear, I got to Hull
all right, and caught the boat to Hamburg, and then the train on here. I
feel I can hardly recall anything of the journey, except that I knew I
was coming to Jonathan, and, that as I should have to do some nursing,
I had better get all the sleep I could. . . . I found my dear one, oh,
so thin and pale and weak-looking. All the resolution has gone out of
his dear eyes, and that quiet dignity which I told you was in his face
has vanished. He is only a wreck of himself, and he does not remember
anything that has happened to him for a long time past. At least, he
wants me to believe so, and I shall never ask. He has had some terrible
shock, and I fear it might tax his poor brain if he were to try to
recall it. Sister Agatha, who is a good creature and a born nurse,
tells me that he raved of dreadful things whilst he was off his head. I
wanted her to tell me what they were; but she would only cross herself,
and say she would never tell; that the ravings of the sick were the
secrets of God, and that if a nurse through her vocation should hear
them, she should respect her trust. She is a sweet, good soul, and the
next day, when she saw I was troubled, she opened up the subject again,
and after saying that she could never mention what my poor dear raved
about, added: 'I can tell you this much, my dear: that it was not about
anything which he has done wrong himself; and you, as his wife to be,
have no cause to be concerned. He has not forgotten you or what he owes
to you. His fear was of great and terrible things, which no mortal can
treat of. ' I do believe the dear soul thought I might be jealous lest my
poor dear should have fallen in love with any other girl. The idea of
_my_ being jealous about Jonathan! And yet, my dear, let me whisper, I
felt a thrill of joy through me when I _knew_ that no other woman was a
cause of trouble. I am now sitting by his bedside, where I can see his
face while he sleeps. He is waking! . . . When he woke he asked me for
his coat, as he wanted to get something from the pocket; I asked Sister
Agatha, and she brought all his things. I saw that amongst them was his
note-book, and was going to ask him to let me look at it--for I knew
then that I might find some clue to his trouble--but I suppose he must
have seen my wish in my eyes, for he sent me over to the window, saying
he wanted to be quite alone for a moment. Then he called me back, and
when I came he had his hand over the note-book, and he said to me very
solemnly:--

"'Wilhelmina'--I knew then that he was in deadly earnest, for he has
never called me by that name since he asked me to marry him--'you know,
dear, my ideas of the trust between husband and wife: there should be
no secret, no concealment. I have had a great shock, and when I try to
think of what it is I feel my head spin round, and I do not know if it
was all real or the dreaming of a madman. You know I have had brain
fever, and that is to be mad. The secret is here, and I do not want
to know it. I want to take up my life here, with our marriage. ' For,
my dear, we had decided to be married as soon as the formalities are
complete. 'Are you willing, Wilhelmina, to share my ignorance? Here is
the book. Take it and keep it, read it if you will, but never let me
know; unless, indeed, some solemn duty should come upon me to go back to
the bitter hours, asleep or awake, sane or mad, recorded here. ' He fell
back, exhausted, and I put the book under his pillow, and kissed him. I
have asked Sister Agatha to beg the Superior to let our wedding be this
afternoon, and am waiting her reply. . . .

"She has come and told me that the chaplain of the English mission
church has been sent for. We are to be married in an hour, or as soon
after as Jonathan awakes. . . .

"Lucy, the time has come and gone. I feel very solemn, but very, very
happy. Jonathan woke a little after the hour, and all was ready, and he
sat up in bed, propped up with pillows. He answered his 'I will' firmly
and strongly. I could hardly speak; my heart was so full that even these
words seemed to choke me. The dear Sisters were so kind. Please God, I
shall never, never forget them, nor the grave and sweet responsibilities
I have taken upon me. I must tell you of my wedding present. When the
chaplain and the Sisters had left me alone with my husband--oh, Lucy,
it is the first time I have written the words 'my husband'--left me
alone with my husband, I took the book from under his pillow, and
wrapped it up in white paper, and tied it with a little bit of pale blue
ribbon which was wound round my neck, and sealed it over the knot with
sealing-wax, and for my seal I used my wedding ring. Then I kissed it
and showed it to my husband, and told him that I would keep it so, and
then it would be an outward and visible sign for us all our lives that
we trusted each other; that I would never open it unless it were for his
own dear sake or for the sake of some stern duty. Then he took my hand
in his, and oh, Lucy, it was the first time he took _his wife's_ hand,
and said that it was the dearest thing in all the wide world, and that
he would go through all the past again to win it, if need be. The poor
dear meant to have said a part of the past; but he cannot think of time
yet, and I shall not wonder if at first he mixes up not only the month,
but the year.

"Well, my dear, what could I say? I could only tell him that I was the
happiest woman in all the wide world, and that I had nothing to give him
except myself, my life, and my trust, and that with these went my love
and duty for all the days of my life. And, my dear, when he kissed me,
and drew me to him with his poor weak hands, it was like a very solemn
pledge between us. . . .

"Lucy dear, do you know why I tell you all this? It is not only because
it is all sweet to me, but because you have been, and are, very dear
to me. It was my privilege to be your friend and guide when you came
from the schoolroom to prepare for the world of life. I want you to see
now, and with the eyes of a very happy wife, whither duty has led me;
so that in your own married life you too may be all happy as I am. My
dear, please Almighty God, your life may be all it promises: a long day
of sunshine, with no harsh wind, no forgetting duty, no distrust. I must
not wish you no pain, for that can never be; but I do hope you will be
always as happy as I am _now_. Good-bye, my dear. I shall post this at
once, and, perhaps, write you very soon again. I must stop, for Jonathan
is waking--I must attend to my husband!

"Your ever-loving
"/Mina Harker. /"


_Letter, Lucy Westenra to Mina Harker. _

"_Whitby, 30 August. _

"My dearest Mina,--

"Oceans of love and millions of kisses, and may you soon be in your own
home with your husband. I wish you could be coming home soon enough
to stay with us here. This strong air would soon restore Jonathan; it
has quite restored me. I have an appetite like a cormorant, am full of
life, and sleep well. You will be glad to know that I have quite given
up walking in my sleep. I think I have not stirred out of my bed for a
week, that is when I once got into it at night. Arthur says I am getting
fat. By the way, I forgot to tell you that Arthur is here. We have
such walks and drives, and rides, and rowing, and tennis, and fishing
together; and I love him more than ever. He _tells me_ that he loves me
more, but I doubt that, for at first he told me that he couldn't love me
more than he did then. But this is nonsense. There he is, calling to me.
So no more just at present from your loving

"/Lucy. /

"P. S. --Mother sends her love. She seems better, poor dear.

"P. P. S. --We are to be married on 28 September. "


_Dr. Seward's Diary_

_20 August. _--The case of Renfield grows even more interesting. He has
now so far quieted that there are spells of cessation from his passion.
For the first week after his attack he was perpetually violent. Then
one night, just as the moon rose, he grew quiet, and kept murmuring to
himself: "Now I can wait; now I can wait. " The attendant came to tell
me, so I ran down at once to have a look at him. He was still in the
strait-waistcoat and in the padded room, but the suffused look had
gone from his face, and his eyes had something of their old pleading--I
might almost say, "cringing"--softness. I was satisfied with his
present condition, and directed him to be relieved. The attendants
hesitated, but finally carried out my wishes without protest. It was a
strange thing that the patient had humour enough to see their distrust,
for, coming close to me, he said in a whisper, all the while looking
furtively at them:--

"They think I could hurt you! Fancy _me_ hurting _you_! The fools! "

It was soothing, somehow, to the feelings to find myself dissociated
even in the mind of this poor madman from the others; but all the same
I do not follow his thought. Am I to take it that I have anything in
common with him, so that we are, as it were, to stand together; or has
he to gain from me some good so stupendous that my well-being is needful
to him? I must find out later on. To-night he will not speak. Even the
offer of a kitten or even a full-grown cat will not tempt him. He will
only say: "I don't take any stock in cats. I have more to think of now,
and I can wait; I can wait. "

After a while I left him. The attendant tells me that he was quiet
until just before dawn, and then he began to get uneasy, and at length
violent, until at last he fell into a paroxysm which exhausted him so
that he swooned into a sort of coma.

. . . Three nights has the same thing happened--violent all day, then
quiet from moonrise to sunrise. I wish I could get some clue to the
cause. It would almost seem as if there was some influence which came
and went. Happy thought! We shall to-night play sane wits against mad
ones. He escaped before without our help; to-night he shall escape with
it. We shall give him a chance, and have the men ready to follow in case
they are required. . . .

_23 August. _--"The unexpected always happens. " How well Disraeli knew
life! Our bird when he found the cage open would not fly, so all our
subtle arrangements went for naught. At any rate, we have proved one
thing: that the spells of quietness last a reasonable time. We shall in
future be able to ease his bond for a few hours each day. I have given
orders to the night attendant merely to shut him in the padded room,
when once he is quiet, until an hour before sunrise. The poor soul's
body will enjoy the relief even if his mind cannot appreciate it. Hark!
The unexpected again! I am called; the patient has once more escaped.

_Later. _--Another night adventure. Renfield artfully waited until the
attendant was entering the room to inspect. Then he dashed out past him
and flew down the passage. I sent word for the attendants to follow.
Again we went into the ground of the deserted house, and we found him
in the same place, pressed against the old chapel door. When he saw me
he became furious, and had not the attendants seized him in time, he
would have tried to kill me. As we were holding him a strange thing
happened. He suddenly redoubled his efforts, and then he suddenly grew
calm. I looked round instinctively, but could see nothing.
Then I caught
the patient's eye and followed it, but could trace nothing as it looked
into the moonlit sky except a big bat, which was flapping its silent and
ghostly way to the west. Bats usually wheel and flit about but this one
seemed to go straight on, as if it knew where it was bound for or had
some intention of its own. The patient grew calmer every instant, and
presently said:--

"You needn't tie me; I shall go quietly! " Without trouble we came back
to the house. I feel there is something ominous in his calm, and shall
not forget this night. . . .


_Lucy Westenra's Diary. _

_Hillingham, 24 August. _--I must imitate Mina, and keep writing things
down. Then we can have long talks when we do meet. I wonder when it will
be. I wish she were with me again, for I feel so unhappy. Last night I
seemed to be dreaming again just as I was at Whitby. Perhaps it is the
change of air, or getting home again. It is all dark and horrid to me,
for I can remember nothing; but I am full of vague fear, and I feel so
weak and worn out. When Arthur came to lunch he looked quite grieved
when he saw me, and I hadn't the spirit to be cheerful. I wonder if I
could sleep in mother's room to-night. I shall make an excuse and try.

_25 August. _--Another bad night. Mother did not seem to take to my
proposal. She seems not too well herself, and doubtless she fears to
worry me. I tried to keep awake, and succeeded for a while; but when
the clock struck twelve it waked me from a doze, so I must have been
falling asleep. There was a sort of scratching or flapping at the
window, but I did not mind it, and as I remember no more, I suppose I
must then have fallen asleep. More bad dreams. I wish I could remember
them. This morning I am horribly weak. My face is ghastly pale, and my
throat pains me. It must be something wrong with my lungs, for I don't
seem ever to get air enough. I shall try to cheer up when Arthur comes,
or else I know he will be miserable to see me so.


_Letter, Arthur Holmwood to Dr. Seward. _

"_Albemarle Hotel, 31 August. _

"My dear Jack,--

"I want you to do me a favour. Lucy is ill; that is, she has no special
disease, but she looks awful, and is getting worse every day. I have
asked her if there is any cause; I do not dare to ask her mother, for
to disturb the poor lady's mind about her daughter in her present state
of health would be fatal. Mrs. Westenra has confided to me that her
doom is spoken--disease of the heart--though poor Lucy does not know it
yet. I am sure that there is something preying on my dear girl's mind.
I am almost distracted when I think of her; to look at her gives me a
pang. I told her I should ask you to see her, and though she demurred
at first--I know why, old fellow--she finally consented. It will be a
painful task for you, I know, old friend, but it is for _her_ sake, and
I must not hesitate to ask, or you to act. You are to come to lunch at
Hillingham tomorrow, two o'clock, so as not to arouse any suspicion in
Mrs. Westenra, and after lunch Lucy will take an opportunity of being
alone with you. I shall come in for tea, and we can go away together. I
am filled with anxiety, and want to consult with you alone as soon as I
can after you have seen her. Do not fail!

"/Arthur. /"


_Telegram, Arthur Holmwood to Seward. _

"_1 September. _

"Am summoned to see my father, who is worse. Am writing. Write me fully
by to-night's post to Ring. Wire me if necessary. "

_Letter from Dr. Seward to Arthur Holmwood. _

"_2 September. _

"My dear old fellow,--

"With regard to Miss Westenra's health, I hasten to let you know at
once that in my opinion there is not any functional disturbance or any
malady that I know of. At the same time, I am not by any means satisfied
with her appearance; she is woefully different from what she was when I
saw her last. Of course you must bear in mind that I did not have full
opportunity of examination such as I should wish; our very friendship
makes a little difficulty which not even medical science or custom can
bridge over. I had better tell you exactly what happened, leaving you to
draw, in a measure, your own conclusions. I shall then say what I have
done and propose doing.

"I found Miss Westenra in seemingly gay spirits. Her mother was present,
and in a few seconds I made up my mind that she was trying all she
knew to mislead her mother and prevent her from being anxious. I have
no doubt she guesses, if she does not know, what need of caution there
is. We lunched alone, and as we all exerted ourselves to be cheerful,
we got, as some kind of reward for our labours, some real cheerfulness
amongst us. Then Mrs. Westenra went to lie down, and Lucy was left with
me. We went into her boudoir, and till we got there her gaiety remained,
for the servants were coming and going. As soon as the door was closed,
however, the mask fell from her face, and she sank down into a chair
with a great sigh, and hid her eyes with her hand. When I saw that her
high spirits had failed, I at once took advantage of her reaction to
make a diagnosis. She said to me very sweetly:--

"'I cannot tell you how I loathe talking about myself. ' I reminded her
that a doctor's confidence was sacred, but that you were grievously
anxious about her. She caught on to my meaning at once, and settled that
matter in a word. 'Tell Arthur everything you choose. I do not care for
myself, but all for him! ' So I am quite free.

"I could easily see that she is somewhat bloodless, but I could not
see the usual anaemic signs, and by a chance I was actually able to
test the quality of her blood, for in opening a window which was stiff
a cord gave way, and she cut her hand slightly with broken glass. It
was a slight matter in itself, but it gave me an evident chance, and I
secured a few drops of the blood and have analysed them. The qualitative
analysis gives a quite normal condition, and shows, I should infer, in
itself a vigorous state of health. In other physical matters I was quite
satisfied that there is no need for anxiety; but as there must be a
cause somewhere, I have come to the conclusion that it must be something
mental. She complains of difficulty in breathing satisfactorily at
times, and of heavy, lethargic sleep, with dreams that frighten her,
but regarding which she can remember nothing. She says that as a child
she used to walk in her sleep, and that when in Whitby the habit came
back, and that once she walked out in the night and went to the East
Cliff, where Miss Murray found her; but she assures me that of late the
habit has not returned. I am in doubt, and so have done the best thing
I know of; I have written to my old friend and master, Professor Van
Helsing, of Amsterdam, who knows as much about obscure diseases as any
one in the world. I have asked him to come over, and as you told me that
all things were to be at your charge, I have mentioned to him who you
are and your relations to Miss Westenra. This, my dear fellow, is only
in obedience to your wishes, for I am only too proud and happy to do
anything I can for her. Van Helsing would, I know, do anything for me
for a personal reason. So, no matter on what ground he comes, we must
accept his wishes. He is a seemingly arbitrary man, but this is because
he knows what he is talking about better than any one else. He is a
philosopher and a metaphysician, and one of the most advanced scientists
of his day; and he has, I believe, an absolutely open mind. This, with
an iron nerve, a temper of the ice-brook, an indomitable resolution,
self-command and toleration exalted from virtues to blessings, and
the kindest and truest heart that beats--these form his equipment for
the noble work that he is doing for mankind--work both in theory and
practice, for his views are as wide as his all-embracing sympathy.
I tell you these facts that you may know why I have such confidence
in him. I have asked him to come at once. I shall see Miss Westenra
to-morrow again. She is to meet me at the Stores, so that I may not
alarm her mother by too early a repetition of my call.

"Yours always,

"/John Seward. /"


_Letter, Abraham Van Helsing, M. D. , D. Ph. , D. Litt. , etc. , etc. , to Dr.
Seward. _

"_2 September. _

"My good Friend,--

"When I have received your letter I am already coming to you. By good
fortune I can leave just at once, without wrong to any of those who
have trusted me. Were fortune other, then it were bad for those who
have trusted, for I come to my friend when he call me to aid those he
holds dear. Tell your friend that when that time you suck from my wound
so swiftly the poison of the gangrene from that knife that our other
friend, too nervous, let slip, you did more for him when he wants my
aids and you call for them than all his great fortune could do. But it
is pleasure added to do for him, your friend; it is to you that I come.
Have then rooms for me at the Great Eastern Hotel, so that I may be near
to hand, and please it so arrange that we may see the young lady not too
late on tomorrow, for it is likely that I may have to return here that
night. But if need be I shall come again in three days, and stay longer
if it must. Till then good-bye, my friend John.

"/Van Helsing. /"


_Letter, Dr. Seward to Hon. Arthur Holmwood. _

"_3 September. _

"My dear Art,--

"Van Helsing has come and gone. He came on with me to Hillingham, and
found that, by Lucy's discretion, her mother was lunching out, so that
we were alone with her. Van Helsing made a very careful examination
of the patient. He is to report to me, and I shall advise you, for of
course I was not present all the time. He is, I fear, much concerned,
but says he must think. When I told him of our friendship and how you
trust to me in the matter, he said: 'You must tell him all you think.
Tell him what I think, if you can guess it, if you will. Nay, I am not
jesting. This is no jest, but life and death, perhaps more. ' I asked
what he meant by that, for he was very serious. This was when we had
come back to town, and he was having a cup of tea before starting on his
return to Amsterdam. He would not give me any further clue. You must
not be angry with him, Art, because his very reticence means that all
his brains are working for her good. He will speak plainly enough when
the time comes, be sure. So I told him I would simply write an account
of our visit, just as if I were doing a descriptive special article for
_The Daily Telegraph_. He seemed not to notice, but remarked that the
smuts in London were not quite so bad as they used to be when he was a
student here. I am to get his report to-morrow if he can possibly make
it. In any case I am to have a letter.

"Well, as to the visit. Lucy was more cheerful than on the day I first
saw her, and certainly looked better. She had lost something of the
ghastly look that so upset you, and her breathing was normal. She was
very sweet to the Professor (as she always is), and tried to make him
feel at ease; though I could see that the poor girl was making a hard
struggle for it. I believe Van Helsing saw it, too, for I saw the quick
look under his bushy brows that I knew of old. Then he began to chat
of all things except ourselves and diseases, and with such an infinite
geniality that I could see poor Lucy's pretence of animation merge into
reality. Then, without any seeming change, he brought the conversation
gently round to his visit, and suavely said:--

"'My dear young miss, I have the so great pleasure because you are much
beloved. That is much, my dear, even were there that which I do not
see. They told me you were down in the spirit, and that you were of a
ghastly pale. To them I say: "Pouf! "' And he snapped his fingers at me
and went on: 'But you and I shall show them how wrong they are. How
can he'--and he pointed at me with the same look and gesture as that
with which once he pointed me out to his class, on, or rather after, a
particular occasion which he never fails to remind me of--'know anything
of a young ladies? He has his madmans to play with, and to bring them
back to happiness and to those that love them. It is much to do, and,
oh, but there are rewards, in that we can bestow such happiness. But
the young ladies! He has no wife nor daughter, and the young do not
tell themselves to the young, but to the old, like me, who have known
so many sorrows and the causes of them. So, my dear, we will send
him away to smoke the cigarette in the garden, whiles you and I have
little talk all to ourselves. ' I took the hint, and strolled about,
and presently the Professor came to the window and called me in. He
looked grave, but said: 'I have made careful examination, but there is
no functional cause. With you I agree that there has been much blood
lost; it has been, but is not. But the conditions of her are in no way
anaemic. I have asked her to send me her maid, that I may asked just
one or two questions, that so I may not chance to miss nothing. I know
well what she will say. And yet there is cause; there is always cause
for everything. I must go back home and think. You must send to me
the telegram every day; and if there be cause I shall come again. The
disease--for not to be all well is a disease--interest me, and the sweet
young dear, she interest me too. She charm me, and for her, if not for
you or disease, I come. '

"As I tell you, he would not say a word more, even when we were alone.
And so now, Art, you know all I know. I shall keep stern watch. I trust
your poor father is rallying. It must be a terrible thing to you, my
dear old fellow, to be placed in such a position between two people who
are both so dear to you. I know your idea of duty to your father, and
you are right to stick to it; but, if need be, I shall send you word to
come at once to Lucy; so do not be over-anxious unless you hear from
me. "


_Dr. Seward's Diary. _

_4 September. _--Zoophagous patient still keeps up our interest in him.
He had only one outburst, and that was yesterday at an unusual time.
Just before the stroke of noon he began to grow restless. The attendant
knew the symptoms, and at once summoned aid. Fortunately the men came
at a run, and were just in time, for at the stroke of noon he became
so violent that it took all their strength to hold him. In about five
minutes, however, he began to get more and more quiet, and finally sank
into a sort of melancholy, in which state he has remained up to now.
The attendant tells me that his screams whilst in the paroxysm were
really appalling; I found my hands full when I got in, attending to some
of the other patients who were frightened by him. Indeed, I can quite
understand the effect, for the sounds disturbed even me, though I was
some distance away. It is now after the dinner-hour of the asylum,
and as yet my patient sits in a corner brooding, with a dull, sullen,
woe-begone look in his face, which seems rather to indicate than to show
something directly. I cannot quite understand it.

_Later. _--Another change in my patient. At five o'clock I looked in
on him, and found him seemingly as happy and contented as he used to
be. He was catching flies and eating them, and was keeping note of his
capture by making nail-marks on the edge of the door between the ridges
of padding. When he saw me, he came over and apologised for his bad
conduct, and asked me in a very humble, cringing way to be let back
to his own room and to have his note-book again. I thought it well to
humour him; so he is back in his room, with the window open. He has the
sugar of his tea spread out on the windowsill, and is reaping quite a
harvest of flies. He is not now eating them, but putting them in a box,
as of old, and is already examining the corners of his room to find a
spider. I tried to get him to talk about the past few days, for any clue
of his thoughts would be of immense help to me; but he would not rise.
For a moment or two he looked very sad, and said in a sort of far-away
voice, as though saying it rather to himself than to me:--

"All over! all over! He has deserted me. No hope for me now unless I do
it for myself! " Then suddenly turning to me in a resolute way, he said:
"Doctor, won't you be very good to me and let me have a little more
sugar?