No More Learning

“To be sure, my dear mother, your anxiety--I was unlucky
there. ”

“What is the matter? ” asked her ladyship, in the heavy tone of one
half-roused; “I was not asleep. ”

“Oh dear, no, ma’am, nobody suspected you! Well, Edmund,” he continued,
returning to the former subject, posture, and voice, as soon as Lady
Bertram began to nod again, “but _this_ I _will_ maintain, that we shall
be doing no harm. ”

“I cannot agree with you; I am convinced that my father would totally
disapprove it. ”

“And I am convinced to the contrary. Nobody is fonder of the exercise
of talent in young people, or promotes it more, than my father, and for
anything of the acting, spouting, reciting kind, I think he has always a
decided taste. I am sure he encouraged it in us as boys. How many a time
have we mourned over the dead body of Julius Caesar, and to _be’d_ and
not _to_ _be’d_, in this very room, for his amusement? And I am sure,
_my_ _name_ _was_ _Norval_, every evening of my life through one
Christmas holidays. ”

“It was a very different thing. You must see the difference yourself. My
father wished us, as schoolboys, to speak well, but he would never
wish his grown-up daughters to be acting plays. His sense of decorum is
strict. ”

“I know all that,” said Tom, displeased. “I know my father as well as
you do; and I’ll take care that his daughters do nothing to distress
him. Manage your own concerns, Edmund, and I’ll take care of the rest of
the family. ”

“If you are resolved on acting,” replied the persevering Edmund, “I must
hope it will be in a very small and quiet way; and I think a theatre
ought not to be attempted. It would be taking liberties with my father’s
house in his absence which could not be justified. ”

“For everything of that nature I will be answerable,” said Tom, in a
decided tone. “His house shall not be hurt. I have quite as great an
interest in being careful of his house as you can have; and as to such
alterations as I was suggesting just now, such as moving a bookcase, or
unlocking a door, or even as using the billiard-room for the space of a
week without playing at billiards in it, you might just as well suppose
he would object to our sitting more in this room, and less in the
breakfast-room, than we did before he went away, or to my sister’s
pianoforte being moved from one side of the room to the other. Absolute
nonsense! ”

“The innovation, if not wrong as an innovation, will be wrong as an
expense. ”

“Yes, the expense of such an undertaking would be prodigious! Perhaps
it might cost a whole twenty pounds. Something of a theatre we must have
undoubtedly, but it will be on the simplest plan: a green curtain and a
little carpenter’s work, and that’s all; and as the carpenter’s work
may be all done at home by Christopher Jackson himself, it will be
too absurd to talk of expense; and as long as Jackson is employed,
everything will be right with Sir Thomas. Don’t imagine that nobody in
this house can see or judge but yourself. Don’t act yourself, if you do
not like it, but don’t expect to govern everybody else. ”

“No, as to acting myself,” said Edmund, “_that_ I absolutely protest
against. ”

Tom walked out of the room as he said it, and Edmund was left to sit
down and stir the fire in thoughtful vexation.

Fanny, who had heard it all, and borne Edmund company in every feeling
throughout the whole, now ventured to say, in her anxiety to suggest
some comfort, “Perhaps they may not be able to find any play to suit
them. Your brother’s taste and your sisters’ seem very different. ”

“I have no hope there, Fanny. If they persist in the scheme, they will
find something. I shall speak to my sisters and try to dissuade _them_,
and that is all I can do. ”

“I should think my aunt Norris would be on your side. ”

“I dare say she would, but she has no influence with either Tom or my
sisters that could be of any use; and if I cannot convince them myself,
I shall let things take their course, without attempting it through
her. Family squabbling is the greatest evil of all, and we had better do
anything than be altogether by the ears. ”

His sisters, to whom he had an opportunity of speaking the next morning,
were quite as impatient of his advice, quite as unyielding to his
representation, quite as determined in the cause of pleasure, as Tom.
Their mother had no objection to the plan, and they were not in the
least afraid of their father’s disapprobation. There could be no harm in
what had been done in so many respectable families, and by so many women
of the first consideration; and it must be scrupulousness run mad that
could see anything to censure in a plan like theirs, comprehending only
brothers and sisters and intimate friends, and which would never be
heard of beyond themselves. Julia _did_ seem inclined to admit that
Maria’s situation might require particular caution and delicacy--but
that could not extend to _her_--she was at liberty; and Maria evidently
considered her engagement as only raising her so much more above
restraint, and leaving her less occasion than Julia to consult either
father or mother. Edmund had little to hope, but he was still urging the
subject when Henry Crawford entered the room, fresh from the Parsonage,
calling out, “No want of hands in our theatre, Miss Bertram. No want
of understrappers: my sister desires her love, and hopes to be admitted
into the company, and will be happy to take the part of any old duenna
or tame confidante, that you may not like to do yourselves. ”

Maria gave Edmund a glance, which meant, “What say you now? Can we
be wrong if Mary Crawford feels the same? ” And Edmund, silenced,
was obliged to acknowledge that the charm of acting might well carry
fascination to the mind of genius; and with the ingenuity of love, to
dwell more on the obliging, accommodating purport of the message than on
anything else.

The scheme advanced. Opposition was vain; and as to Mrs. Norris, he
was mistaken in supposing she would wish to make any. She started no
difficulties that were not talked down in five minutes by her eldest
nephew and niece, who were all-powerful with her; and as the whole
arrangement was to bring very little expense to anybody, and none at all
to herself, as she foresaw in it all the comforts of hurry, bustle,
and importance, and derived the immediate advantage of fancying herself
obliged to leave her own house, where she had been living a month at
her own cost, and take up her abode in theirs, that every hour might be
spent in their service, she was, in fact, exceedingly delighted with the
project.



CHAPTER XIV

Fanny seemed nearer being right than Edmund had supposed. The business
of finding a play that would suit everybody proved to be no trifle; and
the carpenter had received his orders and taken his measurements, had
suggested and removed at least two sets of difficulties, and having made
the necessity of an enlargement of plan and expense fully evident, was
already at work, while a play was still to seek. Other preparations
were also in hand. An enormous roll of green baize had arrived from
Northampton, and been cut out by Mrs. Norris (with a saving by her good
management of full three-quarters of a yard), and was actually forming
into a curtain by the housemaids, and still the play was wanting; and
as two or three days passed away in this manner, Edmund began almost to
hope that none might ever be found.

There were, in fact, so many things to be attended to, so many people
to be pleased, so many best characters required, and, above all, such a
need that the play should be at once both tragedy and comedy, that there
did seem as little chance of a decision as anything pursued by youth and
zeal could hold out.

On the tragic side were the Miss Bertrams, Henry Crawford, and Mr.
Yates; on the comic, Tom Bertram, not _quite_ alone, because it was
evident that Mary Crawford’s wishes, though politely kept back, inclined
the same way: but his determinateness and his power seemed to make
allies unnecessary; and, independent of this great irreconcilable
difference, they wanted a piece containing very few characters in the
whole, but every character first-rate, and three principal women. All
the best plays were run over in vain. Neither Hamlet, nor Macbeth, nor
Othello, nor Douglas, nor The Gamester, presented anything that could
satisfy even the tragedians; and The Rivals, The School for Scandal,
Wheel of Fortune, Heir at Law, and a long et cetera, were successively
dismissed with yet warmer objections. No piece could be proposed that
did not supply somebody with a difficulty, and on one side or the other
it was a continual repetition of, “Oh no, _that_ will never do! Let us
have no ranting tragedies. Too many characters. Not a tolerable
woman’s part in the play. Anything but _that_, my dear Tom. It would be
impossible to fill it up. One could not expect anybody to take such a
part. Nothing but buffoonery from beginning to end. _That_ might do,
perhaps, but for the low parts. If I _must_ give my opinion, I have
always thought it the most insipid play in the English language. _I_ do
not wish to make objections; I shall be happy to be of any use, but I
think we could not chuse worse. ”

Fanny looked on and listened, not unamused to observe the selfishness
which, more or less disguised, seemed to govern them all, and wondering
how it would end. For her own gratification she could have wished that
something might be acted, for she had never seen even half a play, but
everything of higher consequence was against it.

“This will never do,” said Tom Bertram at last. “We are wasting time
most abominably. Something must be fixed on. No matter what, so that
something is chosen. We must not be so nice. A few characters too many
must not frighten us. We must _double_ them. We must descend a little.
If a part is insignificant, the greater our credit in making anything of
it. From this moment I make no difficulties. I take any part you chuse
to give me, so as it be comic. Let it but be comic, I condition for
nothing more. ”

For about the fifth time he then proposed the Heir at Law, doubting only
whether to prefer Lord Duberley or Dr. Pangloss for himself; and very
earnestly, but very unsuccessfully, trying to persuade the others that
there were some fine tragic parts in the rest of the dramatis personae.

The pause which followed this fruitless effort was ended by the same
speaker, who, taking up one of the many volumes of plays that lay on the
table, and turning it over, suddenly exclaimed--“Lovers’ Vows! And why
should not Lovers’ Vows do for _us_ as well as for the Ravenshaws? How
came it never to be thought of before? It strikes me as if it would do
exactly. What say you all? Here are two capital tragic parts for Yates
and Crawford, and here is the rhyming Butler for me, if nobody else
wants it; a trifling part, but the sort of thing I should not dislike,
and, as I said before, I am determined to take anything and do my best.
And as for the rest, they may be filled up by anybody. It is only Count
Cassel and Anhalt. ”

The suggestion was generally welcome. Everybody was growing weary of
indecision, and the first idea with everybody was, that nothing had been
proposed before so likely to suit them all. Mr. Yates was particularly
pleased: he had been sighing and longing to do the Baron at Ecclesford,
had grudged every rant of Lord Ravenshaw’s, and been forced to re-rant
it all in his own room. The storm through Baron Wildenheim was the
height of his theatrical ambition; and with the advantage of knowing
half the scenes by heart already, he did now, with the greatest
alacrity, offer his services for the part. To do him justice, however,
he did not resolve to appropriate it; for remembering that there was
some very good ranting-ground in Frederick, he professed an equal
willingness for that. Henry Crawford was ready to take either. Whichever
Mr. Yates did not chuse would perfectly satisfy him, and a short parley
of compliment ensued. Miss Bertram, feeling all the interest of an
Agatha in the question, took on her to decide it, by observing to Mr.
Yates that this was a point in which height and figure ought to
be considered, and that _his_ being the tallest, seemed to fit him
peculiarly for the Baron. She was acknowledged to be quite right, and
the two parts being accepted accordingly, she was certain of the proper
Frederick. Three of the characters were now cast, besides Mr. Rushworth,
who was always answered for by Maria as willing to do anything; when
Julia, meaning, like her sister, to be Agatha, began to be scrupulous on
Miss Crawford’s account.

“This is not behaving well by the absent,” said she. “Here are not women
enough. Amelia and Agatha may do for Maria and me, but here is nothing
for your sister, Mr. Crawford. ”

Mr. Crawford desired _that_ might not be thought of: he was very sure
his sister had no wish of acting but as she might be useful, and that
she would not allow herself to be considered in the present case. But
this was immediately opposed by Tom Bertram, who asserted the part of
Amelia to be in every respect the property of Miss Crawford, if she
would accept it. “It falls as naturally, as necessarily to her,”
said he, “as Agatha does to one or other of my sisters. It can be no
sacrifice on their side, for it is highly comic. ”

A short silence followed. Each sister looked anxious; for each felt the
best claim to Agatha, and was hoping to have it pressed on her by the
rest. Henry Crawford, who meanwhile had taken up the play, and with
seeming carelessness was turning over the first act, soon settled the
business.

“I must entreat Miss _Julia_ Bertram,” said he, “not to engage in the
part of Agatha, or it will be the ruin of all my solemnity. You must
not, indeed you must not” (turning to her). “I could not stand your
countenance dressed up in woe and paleness. The many laughs we have had
together would infallibly come across me, and Frederick and his knapsack
would be obliged to run away. ”

Pleasantly, courteously, it was spoken; but the manner was lost in the
matter to Julia’s feelings. She saw a glance at Maria which confirmed
the injury to herself: it was a scheme, a trick; she was slighted, Maria
was preferred; the smile of triumph which Maria was trying to suppress
shewed how well it was understood; and before Julia could command
herself enough to speak, her brother gave his weight against her too,
by saying, “Oh yes! Maria must be Agatha. Maria will be the best Agatha.
Though Julia fancies she prefers tragedy, I would not trust her in it.
There is nothing of tragedy about her. She has not the look of it. Her
features are not tragic features, and she walks too quick, and speaks
too quick, and would not keep her countenance. She had better do the old
countrywoman: the Cottager’s wife; you had, indeed, Julia. Cottager’s
wife is a very pretty part, I assure you. The old lady relieves the
high-flown benevolence of her husband with a good deal of spirit. You
shall be Cottager’s wife. ”

“Cottager’s wife! ” cried Mr. Yates. “What are you talking of? The most
trivial, paltry, insignificant part; the merest commonplace; not a
tolerable speech in the whole. Your sister do that! It is an insult
to propose it. At Ecclesford the governess was to have done it. We
all agreed that it could not be offered to anybody else. A little more
justice, Mr. Manager, if you please. You do not deserve the office, if
you cannot appreciate the talents of your company a little better. ”

“Why, as to _that_, my good friend, till I and my company have really
acted there must be some guesswork; but I mean no disparagement to
Julia. We cannot have two Agathas, and we must have one Cottager’s
wife; and I am sure I set her the example of moderation myself in being
satisfied with the old Butler. If the part is trifling she will have
more credit in making something of it; and if she is so desperately bent
against everything humorous, let her take Cottager’s speeches instead of
Cottager’s wife’s, and so change the parts all through; _he_ is solemn
and pathetic enough, I am sure. It could make no difference in the play,
and as for Cottager himself, when he has got his wife’s speeches, _I_
would undertake him with all my heart. ”

“With all your partiality for Cottager’s wife,” said Henry Crawford, “it
will be impossible to make anything of it fit for your sister, and we
must not suffer her good-nature to be imposed on. We must not _allow_
her to accept the part. She must not be left to her own complaisance.
Her talents will be wanted in Amelia. Amelia is a character more
difficult to be well represented than even Agatha. I consider Amelia
is the most difficult character in the whole piece. It requires great
powers, great nicety, to give her playfulness and simplicity without
extravagance. I have seen good actresses fail in the part. Simplicity,
indeed, is beyond the reach of almost every actress by profession.
It requires a delicacy of feeling which they have not. It requires a
gentlewoman--a Julia Bertram. You _will_ undertake it, I hope? ” turning
to her with a look of anxious entreaty, which softened her a little; but
while she hesitated what to say, her brother again interposed with Miss
Crawford’s better claim.

“No, no, Julia must not be Amelia. It is not at all the part for her.
She would not like it. She would not do well. She is too tall and
robust. Amelia should be a small, light, girlish, skipping figure. It is
fit for Miss Crawford, and Miss Crawford only. She looks the part, and I
am persuaded will do it admirably. ”

Without attending to this, Henry Crawford continued his supplication.
“You must oblige us,” said he, “indeed you must. When you have studied
the character, I am sure you will feel it suit you. Tragedy may be your
choice, but it will certainly appear that comedy chuses _you_. You
will be to visit me in prison with a basket of provisions; you will
not refuse to visit me in prison? I think I see you coming in with your
basket. ”

The influence of his voice was felt. Julia wavered; but was he only
trying to soothe and pacify her, and make her overlook the previous
affront? She distrusted him. The slight had been most determined. He
was, perhaps, but at treacherous play with her. She looked suspiciously
at her sister; Maria’s countenance was to decide it: if she were vexed
and alarmed--but Maria looked all serenity and satisfaction, and Julia
well knew that on this ground Maria could not be happy but at her
expense. With hasty indignation, therefore, and a tremulous voice, she
said to him, “You do not seem afraid of not keeping your countenance
when I come in with a basket of provisions--though one might have
supposed--but it is only as Agatha that I was to be so overpowering! ”
She stopped--Henry Crawford looked rather foolish, and as if he did not
know what to say. Tom Bertram began again--

“Miss Crawford must be Amelia. She will be an excellent Amelia. ”

“Do not be afraid of _my_ wanting the character,” cried Julia, with
angry quickness: “I am _not_ to be Agatha, and I am sure I will do
nothing else; and as to Amelia, it is of all parts in the world the
most disgusting to me. I quite detest her. An odious, little, pert,
unnatural, impudent girl. I have always protested against comedy, and
this is comedy in its worst form. ” And so saying, she walked hastily
out of the room, leaving awkward feelings to more than one, but exciting
small compassion in any except Fanny, who had been a quiet auditor of
the whole, and who could not think of her as under the agitations of
_jealousy_ without great pity.

A short silence succeeded her leaving them; but her brother soon
returned to business and Lovers’ Vows, and was eagerly looking over
the play, with Mr. Yates’s help, to ascertain what scenery would be
necessary--while Maria and Henry Crawford conversed together in an
under-voice, and the declaration with which she began of, “I am sure I
would give up the part to Julia most willingly, but that though I shall
probably do it very ill, I feel persuaded _she_ would do it worse,” was
doubtless receiving all the compliments it called for.
When this had lasted some time, the division of the party was completed
by Tom Bertram and Mr. Yates walking off together to consult farther in
the room now beginning to be called _the_ _Theatre_, and Miss Bertram’s
resolving to go down to the Parsonage herself with the offer of Amelia
to Miss Crawford; and Fanny remained alone.

The first use she made of her solitude was to take up the volume which
had been left on the table, and begin to acquaint herself with the play
of which she had heard so much. Her curiosity was all awake, and she ran
through it with an eagerness which was suspended only by intervals of
astonishment, that it could be chosen in the present instance, that it
could be proposed and accepted in a private theatre! Agatha and Amelia
appeared to her in their different ways so totally improper for home
representation--the situation of one, and the language of the other,
so unfit to be expressed by any woman of modesty, that she could hardly
suppose her cousins could be aware of what they were engaging in; and
longed to have them roused as soon as possible by the remonstrance which
Edmund would certainly make.



CHAPTER XV

Miss Crawford accepted the part very readily; and soon after Miss
Bertram’s return from the Parsonage, Mr. Rushworth arrived, and another
character was consequently cast. He had the offer of Count Cassel
and Anhalt, and at first did not know which to chuse, and wanted Miss
Bertram to direct him; but upon being made to understand the different
style of the characters, and which was which, and recollecting that he
had once seen the play in London, and had thought Anhalt a very stupid
fellow, he soon decided for the Count. Miss Bertram approved the
decision, for the less he had to learn the better; and though she could
not sympathise in his wish that the Count and Agatha might be to act
together, nor wait very patiently while he was slowly turning over the
leaves with the hope of still discovering such a scene, she very kindly
took his part in hand, and curtailed every speech that admitted being
shortened; besides pointing out the necessity of his being very much
dressed, and chusing his colours. Mr. Rushworth liked the idea of his
finery very well, though affecting to despise it; and was too much
engaged with what his own appearance would be to think of the others,
or draw any of those conclusions, or feel any of that displeasure which
Maria had been half prepared for.

Thus much was settled before Edmund, who had been out all the morning,
knew anything of the matter; but when he entered the drawing-room before
dinner, the buzz of discussion was high between Tom, Maria, and Mr.
Yates; and Mr. Rushworth stepped forward with great alacrity to tell him
the agreeable news.

“We have got a play,” said he. “It is to be Lovers’ Vows; and I am to be
Count Cassel, and am to come in first with a blue dress and a pink satin
cloak, and afterwards am to have another fine fancy suit, by way of a
shooting-dress. I do not know how I shall like it. ”

Fanny’s eyes followed Edmund, and her heart beat for him as she heard
this speech, and saw his look, and felt what his sensations must be.

“Lovers’ Vows! ” in a tone of the greatest amazement, was his only reply
to Mr. Rushworth, and he turned towards his brother and sisters as if
hardly doubting a contradiction.

“Yes,” cried Mr. Yates. “After all our debatings and difficulties, we
find there is nothing that will suit us altogether so well, nothing so
unexceptionable, as Lovers’ Vows. The wonder is that it should not have
been thought of before. My stupidity was abominable, for here we have
all the advantage of what I saw at Ecclesford; and it is so useful to
have anything of a model! We have cast almost every part. ”

“But what do you do for women? ” said Edmund gravely, and looking at
Maria.

Maria blushed in spite of herself as she answered, “I take the part
which Lady Ravenshaw was to have done, and” (with a bolder eye) “Miss
Crawford is to be Amelia. ”

“I should not have thought it the sort of play to be so easily filled
up, with _us_,” replied Edmund, turning away to the fire, where sat
his mother, aunt, and Fanny, and seating himself with a look of great
vexation.

Mr. Rushworth followed him to say, “I come in three times, and have
two-and-forty speeches. That’s something, is not it? But I do not much
like the idea of being so fine. I shall hardly know myself in a blue
dress and a pink satin cloak. ”

Edmund could not answer him. In a few minutes Mr. Bertram was called
out of the room to satisfy some doubts of the carpenter; and being
accompanied by Mr. Yates, and followed soon afterwards by Mr. Rushworth,
Edmund almost immediately took the opportunity of saying, “I cannot,
before Mr. Yates, speak what I feel as to this play, without reflecting
on his friends at Ecclesford; but I must now, my dear Maria, tell _you_,
that I think it exceedingly unfit for private representation, and that I
hope you will give it up. I cannot but suppose you _will_ when you have
read it carefully over. Read only the first act aloud to either your
mother or aunt, and see how you can approve it. It will not be necessary
to send you to your _father’s_ judgment, I am convinced. ”

“We see things very differently,” cried Maria. “I am perfectly
acquainted with the play, I assure you; and with a very few omissions,
and so forth, which will be made, of course, I can see nothing
objectionable in it; and _I_ am not the _only_ young woman you find who
thinks it very fit for private representation. ”

“I am sorry for it,” was his answer; “but in this matter it is _you_ who
are to lead. _You_ must set the example. If others have blundered, it
is your place to put them right, and shew them what true delicacy is.
In all points of decorum _your_ conduct must be law to the rest of the
party. ”

This picture of her consequence had some effect, for no one loved better
to lead than Maria; and with far more good-humour she answered, “I am
much obliged to you, Edmund; you mean very well, I am sure: but I still
think you see things too strongly; and I really cannot undertake to
harangue all the rest upon a subject of this kind. _There_ would be the
greatest indecorum, I think. ”

“Do you imagine that I could have such an idea in my head? No; let your
conduct be the only harangue. Say that, on examining the part, you feel
yourself unequal to it; that you find it requiring more exertion and
confidence than you can be supposed to have. Say this with firmness, and
it will be quite enough. All who can distinguish will understand your
motive. The play will be given up, and your delicacy honoured as it
ought. ”

“Do not act anything improper, my dear,” said Lady Bertram. “Sir Thomas
would not like it. --Fanny, ring the bell; I must have my dinner. --To be
sure, Julia is dressed by this time. ”

“I am convinced, madam,” said Edmund, preventing Fanny, “that Sir Thomas
would not like it. ”

“There, my dear, do you hear what Edmund says? ”

“If I were to decline the part,” said Maria, with renewed zeal, “Julia
would certainly take it. ”

“What! ” cried Edmund, “if she knew your reasons! ”

“Oh! she might think the difference between us--the difference in our
situations--that _she_ need not be so scrupulous as _I_ might feel
necessary. I am sure she would argue so. No; you must excuse me; I
cannot retract my consent; it is too far settled, everybody would be so
disappointed, Tom would be quite angry; and if we are so very nice, we
shall never act anything. ”

“I was just going to say the very same thing,” said Mrs. Norris.
“If every play is to be objected to, you will act nothing, and the
preparations will be all so much money thrown away, and I am sure _that_
would be a discredit to us all. I do not know the play; but, as Maria
says, if there is anything a little too warm (and it is so with most of
them) it can be easily left out. We must not be over-precise, Edmund. As
Mr. Rushworth is to act too, there can be no harm. I only wish Tom had
known his own mind when the carpenters began, for there was the loss
of half a day’s work about those side-doors. The curtain will be a good
job, however. The maids do their work very well, and I think we shall be
able to send back some dozens of the rings. There is no occasion to put
them so very close together. I _am_ of some use, I hope, in preventing
waste and making the most of things. There should always be one
steady head to superintend so many young ones. I forgot to tell Tom of
something that happened to me this very day. I had been looking about me
in the poultry-yard, and was just coming out, when who should I see but
Dick Jackson making up to the servants’ hall-door with two bits of deal
board in his hand, bringing them to father, you may be sure; mother had
chanced to send him of a message to father, and then father had bid
him bring up them two bits of board, for he could not no how do without
them. I knew what all this meant, for the servants’ dinner-bell
was ringing at the very moment over our heads; and as I hate such
encroaching people (the Jacksons are very encroaching, I have always
said so: just the sort of people to get all they can), I said to the boy
directly (a great lubberly fellow of ten years old, you know, who ought
to be ashamed of himself), ‘_I’ll_ take the boards to your father, Dick,
so get you home again as fast as you can. ’ The boy looked very silly,
and turned away without offering a word, for I believe I might speak
pretty sharp; and I dare say it will cure him of coming marauding about
the house for one while. I hate such greediness--so good as your father
is to the family, employing the man all the year round! ”

Nobody was at the trouble of an answer; the others soon returned; and
Edmund found that to have endeavoured to set them right must be his only
satisfaction.

Dinner passed heavily. Mrs. Norris related again her triumph over Dick
Jackson, but neither play nor preparation were otherwise much talked
of, for Edmund’s disapprobation was felt even by his brother, though
he would not have owned it. Maria, wanting Henry Crawford’s animating
support, thought the subject better avoided. Mr. Yates, who was trying
to make himself agreeable to Julia, found her gloom less impenetrable on
any topic than that of his regret at her secession from their company;
and Mr. Rushworth, having only his own part and his own dress in his
head, had soon talked away all that could be said of either.

But the concerns of the theatre were suspended only for an hour or two:
there was still a great deal to be settled; and the spirits of evening
giving fresh courage, Tom, Maria, and Mr. Yates, soon after their being
reassembled in the drawing-room, seated themselves in committee at a
separate table, with the play open before them, and were just getting
deep in the subject when a most welcome interruption was given by the
entrance of Mr. and Miss Crawford, who, late and dark and dirty as it
was, could not help coming, and were received with the most grateful
joy.

“Well, how do you go on? ” and “What have you settled? ” and “Oh! we
can do nothing without you,” followed the first salutations; and Henry
Crawford was soon seated with the other three at the table, while his
sister made her way to Lady Bertram, and with pleasant attention was
complimenting _her_. “I must really congratulate your ladyship,” said
she, “on the play being chosen; for though you have borne it with
exemplary patience, I am sure you must be sick of all our noise and
difficulties. The actors may be glad, but the bystanders must be
infinitely more thankful for a decision; and I do sincerely give you
joy, madam, as well as Mrs. Norris, and everybody else who is in the
same predicament,” glancing half fearfully, half slyly, beyond Fanny to
Edmund.

She was very civilly answered by Lady Bertram, but Edmund said nothing.
His being only a bystander was not disclaimed. After continuing in chat
with the party round the fire a few minutes, Miss Crawford returned
to the party round the table; and standing by them, seemed to
interest herself in their arrangements till, as if struck by a sudden
recollection, she exclaimed, “My good friends, you are most composedly
at work upon these cottages and alehouses, inside and out; but pray let
me know my fate in the meanwhile. Who is to be Anhalt? What gentleman
among you am I to have the pleasure of making love to? ”

For a moment no one spoke; and then many spoke together to tell the same
melancholy truth, that they had not yet got any Anhalt. “Mr. Rushworth
was to be Count Cassel, but no one had yet undertaken Anhalt. ”

“I had my choice of the parts,” said Mr. Rushworth; “but I thought I
should like the Count best, though I do not much relish the finery I am
to have. ”

“You chose very wisely, I am sure,” replied Miss Crawford, with a
brightened look; “Anhalt is a heavy part. ”

“_The_ _Count_ has two-and-forty speeches,” returned Mr. Rushworth,
“which is no trifle. ”

“I am not at all surprised,” said Miss Crawford, after a short pause,
“at this want of an Anhalt. Amelia deserves no better. Such a forward
young lady may well frighten the men. ”

“I should be but too happy in taking the part, if it were possible,”
cried Tom; “but, unluckily, the Butler and Anhalt are in together. I
will not entirely give it up, however; I will try what can be done--I
will look it over again. ”

“Your _brother_ should take the part,” said Mr. Yates, in a low voice.
“Do not you think he would? ”

“_I_ shall not ask him,” replied Tom, in a cold, determined manner.

Miss Crawford talked of something else, and soon afterwards rejoined the
party at the fire.

“They do not want me at all,” said she, seating herself. “I only puzzle
them, and oblige them to make civil speeches. Mr. Edmund Bertram, as
you do not act yourself, you will be a disinterested adviser; and,
therefore, I apply to _you_. What shall we do for an Anhalt? Is it
practicable for any of the others to double it? What is your advice? ”

“My advice,” said he calmly, “is that you change the play. ”

“_I_ should have no objection,” she replied; “for though I should not
particularly dislike the part of Amelia if well supported, that is, if
everything went well, I shall be sorry to be an inconvenience; but
as they do not chuse to hear your advice at _that_ _table_” (looking
round), “it certainly will not be taken. ”

Edmund said no more.

“If _any_ part could tempt _you_ to act, I suppose it would be Anhalt,”
observed the lady archly, after a short pause; “for he is a clergyman,
you know. ”

“_That_ circumstance would by no means tempt me,” he replied, “for I
should be sorry to make the character ridiculous by bad acting. It
must be very difficult to keep Anhalt from appearing a formal, solemn
lecturer; and the man who chuses the profession itself is, perhaps, one
of the last who would wish to represent it on the stage. ”

Miss Crawford was silenced, and with some feelings of resentment and
mortification, moved her chair considerably nearer the tea-table, and
gave all her attention to Mrs. Norris, who was presiding there.

“Fanny,” cried Tom Bertram, from the other table, where the conference
was eagerly carrying on, and the conversation incessant, “we want your
services. ”

Fanny was up in a moment, expecting some errand; for the habit of
employing her in that way was not yet overcome, in spite of all that
Edmund could do.

“Oh! we do not want to disturb you from your seat. We do not want your
_present_ services. We shall only want you in our play. You must be
Cottager’s wife. ”

“Me! ” cried Fanny, sitting down again with a most frightened look.
“Indeed you must excuse me. I could not act anything if you were to give
me the world. No, indeed, I cannot act. ”

“Indeed, but you must, for we cannot excuse you. It need not frighten
you: it is a nothing of a part, a mere nothing, not above half a dozen
speeches altogether, and it will not much signify if nobody hears a word
you say; so you may be as creep-mouse as you like, but we must have you
to look at. ”

“If you are afraid of half a dozen speeches,” cried Mr. Rushworth, “what
would you do with such a part as mine? I have forty-two to learn. ”

“It is not that I am afraid of learning by heart,” said Fanny, shocked
to find herself at that moment the only speaker in the room, and to feel
that almost every eye was upon her; “but I really cannot act. ”

“Yes, yes, you can act well enough for _us_. Learn your part, and we
will teach you all the rest. You have only two scenes, and as I shall
be Cottager, I’ll put you in and push you about, and you will do it very
well, I’ll answer for it. ”

“No, indeed, Mr. Bertram, you must excuse me. You cannot have an idea.
It would be absolutely impossible for me. If I were to undertake it, I
should only disappoint you. ”

“Phoo! Phoo! Do not be so shamefaced. You’ll do it very well. Every
allowance will be made for you. We do not expect perfection. You must
get a brown gown, and a white apron, and a mob cap, and we must make
you a few wrinkles, and a little of the crowsfoot at the corner of your
eyes, and you will be a very proper, little old woman. ”

“You must excuse me, indeed you must excuse me,” cried Fanny, growing
more and more red from excessive agitation, and looking distressfully
at Edmund, who was kindly observing her; but unwilling to exasperate
his brother by interference, gave her only an encouraging smile. Her
entreaty had no effect on Tom: he only said again what he had said
before; and it was not merely Tom, for the requisition was now backed by
Maria, and Mr. Crawford, and Mr. Yates, with an urgency which differed
from his but in being more gentle or more ceremonious, and which
altogether was quite overpowering to Fanny; and before she could breathe
after it, Mrs. Norris completed the whole by thus addressing her in a
whisper at once angry and audible--“What a piece of work here is about
nothing: I am quite ashamed of you, Fanny, to make such a difficulty of
obliging your cousins in a trifle of this sort--so kind as they are to
you! Take the part with a good grace, and let us hear no more of the
matter, I entreat. ”

“Do not urge her, madam,” said Edmund. “It is not fair to urge her
in this manner. You see she does not like to act. Let her chuse for
herself, as well as the rest of us. Her judgment may be quite as safely
trusted. Do not urge her any more. ”

“I am not going to urge her,” replied Mrs. Norris sharply; “but I shall
think her a very obstinate, ungrateful girl, if she does not do what her
aunt and cousins wish her--very ungrateful, indeed, considering who and
what she is. ”

Edmund was too angry to speak; but Miss Crawford, looking for a moment
with astonished eyes at Mrs. Norris, and then at Fanny, whose tears were
beginning to shew themselves, immediately said, with some keenness, “I
do not like my situation: this _place_ is too hot for me,” and moved
away her chair to the opposite side of the table, close to Fanny, saying
to her, in a kind, low whisper, as she placed herself, “Never mind,
my dear Miss Price, this is a cross evening: everybody is cross and
teasing, but do not let us mind them”; and with pointed attention
continued to talk to her and endeavour to raise her spirits, in spite of
being out of spirits herself. By a look at her brother she prevented any
farther entreaty from the theatrical board, and the really good feelings
by which she was almost purely governed were rapidly restoring her to
all the little she had lost in Edmund’s favour.

Fanny did not love Miss Crawford; but she felt very much obliged to her
for her present kindness; and when, from taking notice of her work,
and wishing _she_ could work as well, and begging for the pattern, and
supposing Fanny was now preparing for her _appearance_, as of course she
would come out when her cousin was married, Miss Crawford proceeded to
inquire if she had heard lately from her brother at sea, and said that
she had quite a curiosity to see him, and imagined him a very fine young
man, and advised Fanny to get his picture drawn before he went to sea
again--she could not help admitting it to be very agreeable flattery, or
help listening, and answering with more animation than she had intended.

The consultation upon the play still went on, and Miss Crawford’s
attention was first called from Fanny by Tom Bertram’s telling her,
with infinite regret, that he found it absolutely impossible for him to
undertake the part of Anhalt in addition to the Butler: he had been most
anxiously trying to make it out to be feasible, but it would not do;
he must give it up. “But there will not be the smallest difficulty in
filling it,” he added. “We have but to speak the word; we may pick and
chuse. I could name, at this moment, at least six young men within six
miles of us, who are wild to be admitted into our company, and there are
one or two that would not disgrace us: I should not be afraid to trust
either of the Olivers or Charles Maddox.