No More Learning

The consul, while all were panic-struck, himself suffi ciently undaunted, though in so perilous a case, marshals, as well as the time and place permitted, the lines which were thrown into confusion by each man's turning himself towards the various shouts ; and wherever he could approach or be heard, exhorts them, and bids them stand and fight : for that they could not escape thence by vows and prayers to the gods, but by exertion and valor; that a way was sometimes opened by the sword through the midst of marshaled armies, and that generally the less the fear the less the danger. However, from the noise and tumult, neither his advice nor command could be caught ; and so far were the soldiers from knowing their own standards, and ranks, and position, that they had scarce sufficient courage to take up arms and make them ready for battle ; and
HANNIBAL AS STRATEGIST AND SOLDIER. 67
certain of them were surprised before they could prepare them, being burdened rather than protected by them; while in so great darkness there was more use of ears than of eyes. They turned their faces and eyes in every direction towards the groans of the wounded, the sounds of blows upon the body or arms, and the mingled clamors of the menacing and the affrighted. Some, as they were making their escape, were stopped, having encountered a body of men engaged in fight ; and bands of fugitives returning to the battle, diverted others. After charges had been attempted unsuccessfully in every direction, and on their flanks the mountains and the lake, on the front and rear the lines of the enemy inclosed them, when it was evident that there was no hope of safety but in the right hand and the sword ; then each man became to himself a leader and encourager to action ; and an entirely new contest arose, not a regular line, with principes, hastati, and triarii ; nor of such a sort as that the vanguard should fight before the stand ards, and the rest of the troops behind them ; nor such that each soldier should be in his own legion, cohort, or company : chance collects them into bands; and each man's own will assigned to him his post, whether to fight in front or rear ; and so great was the ardor of the conflict, so intent were their minds upon the battle, that not one of the combatants felt an earthquake which threw down large portions of many of the cities of Italy, turned rivers from their rapid courses, carried the sea up into rivers, and leveled mountains with a tremen dous crash.
The battle was continued near three hours, and in every quarter with fierceness ; around the consul, however, it was still hotter and more determined. Both the strongest of the troops, and himself too, promptly brought assistance wherever he per ceived his men hard pressed and distressed. But, distinguished by his armor, the enemy attacked him with the utmost vigor, while his countrymen defended him ; until an Insubrian horse man, named Ducarius, knowing him also by his face, says to his countrymen, " Lo, this is the consul who slew our legions and laid waste our fields and city. Now will I offer this victim to the shades of my countrymen, miserably slain ; " and putting spurs to his horse, he rushes through a very dense body of the enemy ; and first slaying his armor bearer, who had opposed himself to his attack as he approached, ran the consul through with his lance ; the triarii, opposing their shields, kept him off when
58 HANNIBAL AS STRATEGIST AND SOLDIER.
seeking to despoil him. Then first the flight of a great num ber began ; and now neither the lake nor the mountains obstructed their hurried retreat ; they run through all places, confined and precipitous, as though they were blind ; and arms and men are tumbled one upon another. A great many, when there remained no more space to run, advancing into the water through the first shallows of the lake, plunge in, as far as they could stand above it with their heads and shoulders. Some there were whom inconsiderate fear induced to try to escape even by swimming ; but as that attempt was inordinate and hopeless, they were either overwhelmed in the deep water, their courage failing, or, wearied to no purpose, made their way back, with extreme difficulty, to the shallows, and there were cut up on all hands by the cavalry of the enemy, which had entered the water. Near upon six thousand of the foremost body, hav ing gallantly forced their way through the opposing enemy, entirely unacquainted with what was occurring in their rear, escaped from the defile ; and having halted on a certain rising ground, and hearing only the shouting and clashing of arms, they could not know nor discern, by reason of the mist, what was the fortune of the battle. At length, the affair being decided, when the mist, dispelled by the increasing heat of the sun, had cleared the atmosphere, then, in the clear light, the mountains and plains showed their ruin, and the Roman army miserably destroyed; and thus, lest, being descried at a dis tance, the cavalry should be sent against them, hastily snatch ing up their standards, they hurried away with all possible expedition. On the following day, when in addition to their extreme sufferings in other respects, famine also was at hand, Maharbal, who had followed them during the night with the whole body of cavalry, pledging his honor that he would let them depart with single garments if they would deliver up their arms, they surrendered themselves ; which promise was kept by Hannibal with Punic fidelity, and he threw them all into chains.
This is the celebrated battle at the Trasimenus, and recorded among the few disasters of the Roman people. Fifteen thousand Romans were slain in the battle. Ten thousand, who had been scattered in the flight through all Etruria, returned to the city by different roads. One thousand five hundred of the enemy perished in the battle ; many on both sides died afterwards of their wounds.
HANNIBAL AS STRATEGIST AND SOLDIER.
The Battle of Cannae, b. c. 216.
69
The consuls persisted in the same opinions they ever enter tained ; but nearly all acquiesced with Varro, and none with Paulus except Servilius, the consul of the former year. In compliance with the opinion of the majority, they set out, under the impulse of destiny, to render Cannae celebrated by a Roman disaster. Hannibal had pitched his camp near that village, with his back to the wind Vulturnus, which, in those plains which are parched with drought, carries with it clouds of dust. This circumstance was not only very advantageous to the camp, but would be a great protection to them when they formed their line ; as they, with the wind blowing only on their backs, would combat with an enemy blinded with the thickly blown dust.
When the consuls, employing sufficient diligence in explor ing the road in pursuit of the Carthaginian, had arrived at Cannae, where they had the enemy in the sight of them, having divided their forces, they fortify two camps, with nearly the same interval as before, at Geronium. The river Aufidus, which flowed by both the camps, afforded approach to the watering parties of each, as opportunity served, though not without contest. The Romans in the lesser camp, however, which was on the other side the Aufidus, were more freely furnished with water, because the farther bank had no guard of the enemy. Hannibal, entertaining a hope that the consuls would not decline a battle in this tract, which was naturally adapted to a cavalry engagement, in which portion of his forces he was invincible, formed his line, and provoked the enemy by a skirmishing attack with his Numidians. Upon this the Roman camp began again to be embroiled by a mutiny among the soldiers, and the disagreement of the consuls : since Paulus instanced to Varro the temerity of Sempronius and Flaminius ; while Varro pointed to Fabius, as a specious ex ample to timid and inactive generals. The latter called both gods and men to witness " that no part of the blame attached
to him, that Hannibal had now made Italy his own, as it were, by right of possession ; that he was held bound by his col league ; that the swords and arms were taken out of the hands of the indignant soldiers, who were eager to fight. " The former declared " that, if any disaster should befall the legions thus exposed and betrayed into an ill-advised and imprudent
60 HANNIBAL AS STRATEGIST AND SOLDIER.
battle, he should be exempt from any blame, though the sharer of all the consequences. That he must take care that their hands were equally energetic in the battle, whose tongues were so forward and impetuous. "
While time is thus consumed in altercation rather than deliberating, Hannibal, who had kept his troops drawn up in order of battle till late in the day, when he had led the rest of them back into the camp, sends Numidians across the river to attack a watering party of the Romans from the lesser camp. Having routed this disorderly band by shouting and tumult, before they had well reached the opposite bank, they advanced even to an outpost which was before the rampart, and near the very gates of the camp. It seemed so great an indignity, that now even the camp of the Romans should be terrified by a tumultuary band of auxiliaries, that this cause alone kept back the Romans from crossing the river forthwith, and forming their line, that the chief command was on that day held by Paulus. Accordingly, Varro, on the following day, on which it was his turn to hold the command, without consulting his colleague, displayed the signal for battle, and, forming his troops, led them across the river. Paulus followed, because he could better disapprove of the proceeding than withhold his assistance. Having crossed the river, they add to their forces those which they had in the lesser camp ; and thus forming their line, place the Roman cavalry in the right wing, which was next the river ; and next them the infantry : at the extremity of the left wing the allied cavalry ; within them the allied infantry, extending to the center, and contigu ous to the Roman legions. The darters, and the rest of the light-armed auxiliaries, formed the van. The consuls com manded the wings, — Terentius the left, ^Emilius the right. To Germinus Servilius was committed the charge of main taining the battle in the center.
Hannibal, at break of day, having sent before him the Baliares and other light-armed troops, crossed the river, and placed his troops in line of battle, as he had conveyed them across the river. The Gallic and Spanish cavalry he placed in the left wing, opposite the Roman cavalry : the right wing was assigned to the Numidian cavalry, the center of the line being strongly formed by the infantry, so that both extremities of it were composed of Africans, between which Gauls and Spaniards were placed. One would suppose the Africans were
s.
HANNIBAL AS STRATEGIST AND SOLDIER. 61
for the most part Romans, they were so equipped with arms captured at the Trebia, and for the greater part at the Trasi- menus. The shields of the Gauls and Spaniards were of the same shape, their swords unequal and dissimilar. The Gauls had very long ones, without points. The Spaniards, who were accustomed to stab, more than to cut, their enemy, had swords convenient, from their shortness, and with points. The aspect of these nations in other respects was terrific, both as to the appearance they exhibited and the size of their persons. The Gauls were naked above the navel : the Spaniards stood arrayed in linen vests resplendent with surprising whiteness, and bor dered with purple. The whole amount of infantry standing in battle array was forty thousand ; of cavalry ten. The generals who commanded the wings were, on the left, Hasdrubal ; on the right, Maharbal : Hannibal himself, with his brother Mago, commanded the center. The sun very conveniently shone obliquely upon both parties — the Romans facing the south, and the Carthaginians the north ; either placed so designedly, or having stood thus by chance. The wind, which the inhab itants of the district call the Vulturnus, blowing violently in front of the Romans, prevented their seeing far by rolling clouds of dust into their faces.
The shout being raised, the auxiliaries charged, and the battle commenced, in the first place, with the light-armed troops : then the left wing, consisting of the Gallic and Span ish cavalry, engages with the Roman right wing, by no means in the manner of a cavalry battle ; for they were obliged to engage front to front ; for, as on one side the river, on the other the line of infantry hemmed them in, there was no space left at their flanks for evolution, but both parties were com pelled to press directly forward. At length the horses stand ing still, and being crowded together, man grappling with man, dragged him from his horse. The contest now came to be carried on principally on foot. The battle, however, was more violent than lasting ; and the Roman cavalry being re pulsed, turn their backs. About the conclusion of the contest between the cavalry, the battle between the infantry com menced. At first the Gauls and Spaniards preserved their ranks unbroken, not inferior in strength or courage ; but at length the Romans, after long and repeated efforts, drove in with their even front and closely compacted line, that part of
the enemy's line in the form of a wedge, which projected
62
HANNIBAL AS STRATEGIST AND SOLDIER.
beyond the rest, which was too thin, and therefore deficient in strength. These men, thus driven back and hastily re treating, they closely pursued ; and as they urged their course without interruption through this terrified band, as it fled with precipitation, were borne first upon the center line of the enemy ; and, lastly, no one opposing them, they reached the African reserved troops. These were posted at the two ex tremities of the line, where it was depressed ; while the center, where the Gauls and Spaniards were placed, projected a little. When the wedge thus formed being driven in, at first rendered the line level, but afterwards, by the pressure, made a curvature in the center, the Africans, who had now formed wings on each side of them, surrounded the Romans on both sides, who incau tiously rushed into the intermediate space ; and presently extend ing their wings, inclosed the enemy on the rear also. After this the Romans, who had in vain finished one battle, leaving the Gauls and Spaniards, whose rear they had slaughtered, in addition commence a fresh encounter with the Africans, not
because, being hemmed in, they had to fight against troops who surrounded them, but also because,
fatigued, they fought with those who were fresh and vigorous. Now also in the left wing of the Romans, in which the allied cavalry were opposed to the Numidians, the battle was
joined, which was at first languid, commencing with a strata gem on the part of the Carthaginians. About five hundred Numidians, who, besides their usual arms, had swords con cealed beneath their coats of mail, quitting their own party, and riding up to the enemy under the semblance of deserters, with their bucklers behind them, suddenly leap down from their horses, and, throwing down their bucklers and javelins at the feet of their enemies, are received into their center, and, being conducted to the rear, ordered to remain there ; and there they continued until the battle became general. But afterwards, when the thoughts and attention of all were occu pied with the contest, snatching up the shields which lay scat tered on all hands among the heaps of slain, they fell upon the rear of the Roman line, and striking their backs and wounding their hams, occasioned vast havoc, and still greater panic and confusion. While in one part terror and flight prevailed, in another the battle was obstinately persisted in, though with little hope. Hasdrubal, who was then command ing in that quarter, withdrawing the Numidians from the
only disadvantageous,
HANNIBAL AS STRATEGIST AND SOLDIER. 63
center of the army, as the conflict with their opponents was slight, sends them in pursuit of the scattered fugitives, and joining the Africans, now almost weary with slaying rather than fighting the Spanish and Gallic infantry.
On the other side of the field, Paulus, though severely wounded from a sling in the very commencement of the battle, with a compact body of troops, frequently opposed himself to Hannibal, and in several quarters restored the battle, the Roman cavalry protecting him ; who, at length, when the consul had not strength enough even to manage his horse, dismounted from their horses. And when some one brought intelligence that the consul had ordered the cavalry to dis mount, it is said that Hannibal observed, " How much rather would I that he delivered them to me in chains. " The fight maintained by the dismounted cavalry was such as might be expected, when the victory was undoubtedly on the side of the enemy, the vanquished preferring death in their places to flight ; and the conquerors, who were enraged at them for delaying the victory, butchering those whom they could not put to flight. They at length, however, drove the few who remained away, worn out with exertion and wounds. After that they were all dispersed, and such as could sought to regain their horses for flight. Cneius Lentulus, a military tribune, seeing, as he rode by, the consul sitting upon a stone and covered with blood, said to him : " Lucius JSmilius ! the only man whom the gods ought to regard as being guilt less of this day's disaster, take this horse, while you have any strength remaining, and I am with you to raise you up and protect you. Make not this battle more calamitous by the death of a consul. There is sufficient matter for tears "and grief without this addition. " In reply the consul said : Do thou, indeed, go on and prosper, Cneius Servilius, in your career of virtue I But beware lest you waste in bootless commiseration the brief opportunity of escaping from the hands of the enemy. Go and tell the fathers publicly to fortify the city of Rome, and garrison it strongly before the victorious enemy arrive ; and tell Quintus Fabius, individu ally, that Lucius ^milius lived, and now dies, mindful of his injunctions. Allow me to expire amidst these heaps of my slaughtered troops, that I may not a second time be accused after my consulate, or stand forth as the accuser of my col league, in order to defend my own innocence by criminating
64 HANNIBAL AS STRATEGIST AND SOLDIER.
another. " While finishing these words, first a crowd of their flying countrymen, after that the enemy, came upon them ; they overwhelm the consul with their weapons, not knowing who he was ; in the confusion his horse rescued Lentulus. After that they fly precipitately.
Seven thousand escaped to the lesser camp, ten to the greater, about two thousand to the village of Cannae itself; those were immediately surrounded by Carthalo and the cav alry, no fortifications protecting the village. The other con sul, whether by design or by chance, made good his escape to Venusia with about seventy horse, without mingling with any party of the flying troops. Forty thousand foot and two thousand seven hundred horse, with an equal number of citizens and allies, are said to have been slain. Among these both the quaestors of the consuls, Lucius Atilius and Lucius Furius Bibaculus ; twenty-one military tribunes ; sev eral who had passed the offices of consul, praetor, and aedile ; among these they reckon Cneius Servilius Germinus, and Marcus Minucius, who had been master of the horse on a former year and consul some years before ; moreover, eighty, either sena tors, or who had borne those offices by which they might be elected into the senate, and who had voluntarily enrolled them selves in the legions. Three thousand infantry and three hun dred cavalry are said to have been captured in that battle.
The spoils having been gathered for a great part of the day, Hannibal leads his troops to storm the lesser camp ; and first of all interposing a trench, cuts it off from the river. But as the men were fatigued with toil, watching, and wounds, a surrender was made sooner than he expected. Having agreed to deliver up their arms and horses for a ransom of 300 denarii [$50] for every Roman, 200 for an ally, and 100 for a slave, and that on payment of that ransom they should be allowed to de part with single garments, they received the enemy into the camp, and were all delivered into custody ; citizens and allies being kept separate. While the time is being spent there, all who had strength or spirit enough, to the number of four thou sand foot and two hundred horse, quitted the greater camp and arrived at Canusium ; some in a body, others widely dispersed through the country, which was no less secure a course : the camp itself was surrendered to the enemy by the wounded and timid troops, on the same terms as the other was.
THE HAUNTED HOUSE. 66
THE HAUNTED HOUSE. By T. Maccius Plautus. (From ««Mostellaria. ")
[Titus Macciub Plautus, one of the great comic dramatists of the world, was born in Umbria, Italy, probably about B. C. 264 ; died about 184. He and Terence may be called pre-Boman writers; that is, their dramas are not of Roman life, nor do they form even a germ of Roman literature proper (though, midway of the two, Ennius and his followers were laying the foundations of it), but are adaptations — though with genius — of Greek originals. Plautus was very fertile and immensely popular ; some twenty of his plays still survive, entire save a few gaps. Lessing called Plautus' " Captives " the best-constructed drama in existence. The most famous besides this are perhaps the " Miles Glori- osus" (Braggart Soldier), "Trinummus" (Threepenny Piece), "Mentechmi" (Twins), " Aulularia " (Little Pot), " Mostellaria " (Ghost), and " Amphitruo " (Amphitryon). Every comic playwright since his time has borrowed freely from him. Ben Jonson and Shakespeare used the Miles Gloriosus for Captain Bobadil and Ancient Pistol; Moliere took the hint of his "Miser" from " Aulularia " ; Dry den cooked over " Amphitruo " as " The Two Sosias. "]
Dramatis Persona (as far as included in selections) : Theuropides, an Athe nian merchant ; Simo, his neighbor, a grouty old man ; Philolaches, son of Theuropides ; Tranio, his servant ; Grumio, his father's servant ; Phile- matium, his mistress, a slave music girl he has bought ; Soapha, her maid.
Act I. — Scene I.
Enter, from the house of Theuropides, Grumio, pushing out Tranio.
Chrumio — Get out of the kitchen, will you ; out of it, you whip-scoundrel, giving me back-talk among the platters ; march out of the house, you ruin of your master! Upon my faith, if I live I'll be more than even with you in the country. Get out, I say, you kitchen-reek : what are you skulking here
for? Tranio — What the plague are you making a row here before the house for? Do you fancy yourself on the farm? Get out of the house ; be off to the farm. Go and hang your self. Get away from the door. [Striking him. "] There now, was that what you wanted ? —
Grumio [running away] I'm undone I What are you beating me for?
Tranio — Because you need it.
Grumio — I've got to stand it, I suppose. But only let the old gentleman come back ; only let him come back safe, you eating him up while he is gone.
vOL. v. — 6
66 THE HAUNTED HOUSE.
Tranio — Your lies are not even likely ones, you block head, — eating any one up while he is gone I
Ghrumio — Ah, you town wit, you minion of the mob, do you throw the farm in my teeth? Really, Tranio, I believe you feel sure you'll soon be handed over to the mill. Before long, i' faith, Tranio, you'll be adding to the iron-bound race in the country. While you choose, and have the chance, drink on, squander his property, corrupt my master's son, — a most worthy young man, — drink night and day, live like Greeks, buy mistresses, give them their freedom, feed parasites, feast yourselves sumptuously. Was this the old gentleman's injunc tion when he went abroad ? Is it after this fashion he will find his property well husbanded ? Do you suppose this is the duty of a good servant, to be ruining both the estate and the son of his master ? For I do consider him as ruined when he gives himself up to these goings on. One with whom not one of all the young men of Attica was before thought equally frugal or more steady, the same is now carrying off the palm in the oppo site direction. Through your management and your tutoring that has been done.
Tranio — What the plague business have you with me or with what I do? Haven't you got your cattle in the coun
I choose to drink, to intrigue, to keep
try to look after ?
my wenches ; but Ido it at the risk of my own back, not
yours. Q-rumio
—
What brass he talks with! [Turning away in Faugh!
di»gust. ~\
Tranio — But may Jupiter and all the deities confound you,
you stink of garlic, you filth unmentionable, you clod, you goat, you pigsty, you mongrel of dog and goat !
Ghrumio — What do you want done ? It isn't everybody that can smell of foreign perfumes, even if you smell of them ; or that can take their places at table above their master, or live on such exquisite dainties as you do. Keep those turtledoves, fish, and poultry to yourself ; let me enjoy my lot on garlic. You are fortunate ;
good fortune be awaiting me, your bad yourself.
I unlucky. It must be borne. Let my
Tranio — You seem, Grumio, as though you envied me, because I enjoy myself and you are wretched. It is quite my due. It's proper for me to make love, and for you to feed the cattle ; for me to fare handsomely, you in a miserable way.
THE HAUNTED HOUSE.
67
Crrumio — O riddle [sieve] for the executioner, as I guess it will turn out : they'll be so pinking you with goads, as you carry your gibbet along the streets one day, as soon as ever the old gentleman returns here.
Tranio — How do you know whether that mayn't happen to yourself sooner than to me ?
Grumio — Because I have never deserved it : you have deserved it, and you now deserve it.
Tranio — Do cut short the trouble of your talking, unless you wish a heavy mischance to befall you.
Grumio — Are you going to give me the tares for me to
take for the cattle ? If you are not, give me the money.
on, still persist in the way you've begun ! Drink, live like Greeks, eat, stuff yourselves, slaughter your fatlings ! I
Tranio — Hold your tongue and be off into the country ; intend to go to the Piraeus to get me some fish for the evening. To-morrow I'll make some one bring you the tares to the farm. What's the matter? What are you staring at me now for, gallows-bird ?
Go
Grumio — I' faith, I've an idea that will be your own title before long.
Tranio — So long as it is as it is, in the meantime I'll put up with that " before long. "
Grumio — That's the way ; and understand this one thing, that what is disagreeable comes much quicker than what you
want. — Tranio
Don't make yourself a nuisance : now then, away
Don't deceive
with you into the country — take yourself off. yourself, you shan't be a hindrance in my way.
[Exit. Not to care one
Grumio [to himself] — Is he really gone ?
straw for what I've said ! O immortal gods, I implore your aid, do cause this old gentleman of ours, who has now been three years absent, to return as soon as possible before every thing is gone, both house and land. Unless he does, only enough remnants to last for a few months are left. Now I'll
I see my master's son, one who has been corrupted from having been a most excellent
[Exit.
II. — Philolaches cornes in, soliloquizes, and remains on one side. ]
be off to the country ; but look I young man.
[Scene
68
THE HAUNTED HOUSE.
Scene III.
Enter Philematium and Scapha, with all the requisites for a toilet.
Philematium — On my word, for this long time I've not bathed in cold water with more delight than just now ; nor do I think that I ever was, my dear Scapha, more thoroughly cleansed than now.
Scapha — May the upshot of everything be unto you like a plenteous year's harvest.
Philematium — What has this harvest got to do with my
bathing ? — Scapha
Not a bit more than your bathing has to do with
the harvest. Philolaches [apart]
—
of mine which stripped off all the modesty with which I was
O beauteous Venus, this is that storm
roofed ; through which Desire and Cupid poured their shower into my breast ; and never since have I been able to roof it in. Now are my walls soaking in my heart ; this building is utterly undone. —
Do look, my Scapha, there's a dear, whether this dress quite become me.
I wish to please Philolaches my
protector, the apple of my eye.
Scapha — Nay, but you set yourself off to advantage with
pleasing manners, inasmuch as you yourself are pleasing. The lover isn't in love with a woman's dress, but with that which stuffs out the dress.
Philematium
Philolaches [apart] — So may the Gods bless me, Scapha is waggish ; the hussy's quite knowing. How cleverly she under stands all matters, the maxims of lovers, too I
Philematium — Well, now ?
Scapha — What is it ?
Philematium — Why, look at me and examine how this
becomes me.
Scapha — Thanks to your good looks, it happens that what
ever you put on becomes you.
Philolaches [apart] — Now then, for that expression, Sca
pha, I'll make you some present or other to-day, and I won't allow you to have praised for nothing her who is so pleasing to me.
THE HAUNTED HOUSE.
Philematium — I don't want you to flatter me.
69
Scapha — Really, you are a very simple woman. Come now, would you rather be censured undeservedly, than be praised with truth? Upon my faith, for my own part, even though undeservedly, I'd much rather be praised than be found fault with with reason, or that other people should laugh at my appearance.
Philematium — I love the truth ;
I wish the truth to be told
I detest a liar.
me ;
Scapha — So may you love me, and so may your Philolaches
love you, how charming you are I
Philolaches [apart] — How say you, you hussy ? In what
words did you adjure? "So may I love her? " Why wasn't " So may she love me," added as well ? I revoke the present. What I just now promised you is done for ; you have lost the
present. — Troth, for my part I am surprised that a Scapha you, per
son so knowing, so clever, and so well educated, are not aware that you are acting foolishly.
Philematium — Then give me your advice, I beg, if I have done wrong in anything.
Scapha — I' faith, you certainly do wrong in setting your mind upon him alone, in fact, and humoring him in particular in this way and slighting other men. It's the part of a mar ried woman, and not of courtesans, to be devoted to a single lover. —
O Jupiter ! Why, what pest is this
Philolaches [apart]
that has befallen my house? May all the gods and goddesses destroy me in the worst of fashions, if I don't kill this old hag with thirst, and hunger, and cold.
Scapha — You are clearly a simpleton in thinking that he'll for everlasting be your friend and well-wisher. I warn you, he'll forsake you by reason of age and satiety.
Scapha —Things which you don't hope happen more fre quently than things which you do hope. In fine, if you cannot be persuaded by words to believe this to be the truth, judge of my words from facts ; consider this instance, who I now am, and who I once was. No less than you are now, was I once beloved, and I devoted myself to one who, faith, when with age
Philematium — I don't want you, Scapha, to be giving me bad advice.
Philematium — I hope not.
70 THE HAUNTED HOUSE.
this head changed its hue, forsook and deserted me. Depend on the same will happen to yourself.
Philolaches [apart] — can scarcely withhold myself from flying at the eyes of this mischief maker.
Philematium — am of opinion that ought to keep myself alone devoted to him, since to myself alone has he given free dom for himself alone.
Philolaches [apart] — ye immortal gods what charm ing woman, and of disposition how chaste By heaven, 'tis excellently done, and I'm rejoiced at that for her sake I've got nothing left.
Scapha — On my word you really are silly.
Philematium — For what reason
Scapha — Because you care for this, whether he loves you. Philematium — Prithee, why should not care for
Scapha — You now are free. You've now got what you
wanted he didn't still love you, as much money as he gave for your liberty he'd lose.
Philolaches [apart] — Heavens, I'm dead man don't torture her to death after the most shocking fashion. That evil-persuading enticer to vice corrupting this damsel.
Philematium — Scapha, can never return him sufficient thanks for what he deserves of me don't you be persuading me to esteem him less.
Scapha — But take care and reflect upon this one thing, you devote yourself to him alone, while now you are at this youthful age, you'll be complaining to no purpose in your aged years. —
Philolaches [apart] could wish myself this instant changed into quinsy, that might seize the throat of that old witch, and put an end to the wicked mischief maker.
Philematium — It befits me now to have the same grateful feelings since obtained it, as formerly before acquired it, when used to lavish caresses upon him.
Philolaches [apart] — May the gods do towards me what they please, for that speech don't make you free over again, and don't torture Scapha to death.
Scapha — If you are quite assured that you will have pro vision to the end, and that this lover will be your own for life, think that you ought to devote yourself to him alone, and put
on wife's coiffure.
Philematium —Just as person's character is, he's in the
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THE HAUNTED HOUSE.
71
habit of finding means accordingly. If I keep a good character for myself, I shall be rich enough.
Philolaches [apart] — By my troth, since selling there must be, my father shall be sold much sooner than, while I'm alive, I'll ever permit you to be in want or go a-begging.
Scapha — What's to become of the rest of those who are in love with you ? —
Philematium They'll love me the more when they see me displaying gratitude to one who has done me services.
Philolaches [apart] — I do wish that news were brought me now that my father's dead, that I might disinherit myself of my property, and that she might be my heir.
Scapha — This property of his will certainly soon be at an end ; day and night there's eating and drinking, and no one displays thriftiness ; 'tis downright cramming.
Philolaches [apart] — I' faith, I'm determined to make trial on yourself for the first to be thrifty ; for you shall neither eat nor drink anything at my house for the next ten days.
Philematium — If you choose to say anything good about him, you shall be at liberty to say it ; if you speak otherwise than well, on my word you shall have a beating instantly.
Philolaches [apart] — Upon my faith, if I had paid sacri fice to supreme Jove with that money which I gave for her liberty, never could I have so well employed it. Do see how, from her very heart's core, she loves me ! Oh, I'm a fortunate man ; I've liberated a patron to plead my cause for me.
Scapha — I see that, compared with Philolaches, you dis regard all other men ; now, that on his account I mayn't get a beating, I'll agree with you in preference, if you are quite satis fied that he will always prove a friend to you.
Philematium — Give me the mirror, and the casket with my trinkets, directly, Scapha, that I may be quite dressed when Philolaches, my delight, comes here.
Scapha — A woman who neglects herself and her youthful age has occasion for a mirror : what need of a mirror have you, who yourself are in especial a mirror for a mirror?
Philolaches [apart] — For that expression, Scapha, that you mayn't have said anything so pretty in vain, I'll to-day give something for your savings — to you, my Philematium.
Philematium [while Scapha is dressing her hair] — Will you see that each hair is nicely arranged in its own place ?
72 THE HAUNTED HOUSE.
Scapha — When you are so nice, do believe that your hair
must be nice. — Philolaches [apart]
Out upon it ! what worse thing can possibly be spoken of than this woman? Now the jade's a
flatterer, just now she was all contradictory.
Philematium — Hand me the ceruse.
Scapha — Why, what need of ceruse have you ? Philematium — To paint my cheeks with it.
Scapha —On the same principle, you would want to be
making ivory white with ink.
Philolaches [apart] — Cleverly said that, about the ink
I applaud you, Scapha.
and the ivory ! Bravo !
Philematium — Well, then, do you give me the rouge. Scapha — I shan't give it. You really are a clever one.
Do you wish to patch up a most clever piece with new daub ing ? It's not right that any paint should touch that person, neither ceruse, nor quince ointment, nor any other wash. Take the mirror, then. [Hands her the glass. ]
Philolaches [apart] — Ah, wretched me ! — she gave the glass a kiss. I could much wish for a stone, with which to break the head of that glass.
Scapha — Take the towel and wipe your hands.
Philematium — Why so, prithee ?
Scapha — As you've been holding the mirror, I'm afraid
that your hands may smell of silver ; lest Philolaches should suspect you've been receiving silver somewhere.
Philolaches [apart] — I don't think that I ever did see any one more cunning. How cleverly and artfully did it occur to the jade's imagination about the mirror !
Philematium — Do you think I ought to be perfumed with unguents as well?
Scapha — By no means do so.
Philematium — For what reason ?
Scapha — Because, i' faith, a woman smells best when she
smells of nothing at all. For those old women who are in the habit of anointing themselves with unguents, vampt up, tooth less old hags, who hide the blemishes of the person with paint, when the sweat has blended itself with the unguents, forthwith they stink just like when a cook has poured together a variety of broths ; what they smell of you don't know, except this only, that you understand that badly they do smell.
Philolaches [apart] — How very cleverly she does under
THE HAUNTED HOUSE.
T8
stand everything! There's nothing more knowing than this knowing woman! [To the Audience. ] This is the truth, and in fact a very great portion of you know it, who have old women for wives at home who purchased you with their portions. —
Come now, examine my golden trinkets and
Philematium
my mantle ; does this quite become me, Scapha ?
Scapha — It befits not me to concern myself about that. Philematium — Whom then, prithee ?
Scapha — I'll tell you : Philolaches, so that he may not buy
anything except that which he fancies will please you. For a lover buys the favors of a mistress for himself with gold and purple garments. What need is there for that which he doesn't want as his own, to be shown him still? Age is to be enveloped in purple ; gold ornaments are unsuitable for a woman. A beau tiful woman will be more beautiful naked than drest in purple. Besides, it's in vain she's well-drest if she's ill-conducted ; ill conduct soils fine ornaments worse than dirt. But if she's beauteous, she's sufficiently adorned.
Philolaches [apart] — Too long have I withheld my hand. [Coming forward. ] What are you about here ?
Philematium — I'm decking myself out to please you.
Philolaches — You are dressed enough. [To Scapha. ] Go you hence in doors, and take away this finery. [Scapha goes into the house. ] But, my delight, my Philematium, I have a mind to regale together with you.
Philematium — And, i' faith, so I have with you ; for what you have a mind to, the same have I a mind to, my delight.
Philolaches — Ha ! at twenty mina? that expression were
cheap. — Iwish to let Philematium Give me ten, there's a dear ;
you have that expression bought at a bargain.
Philolaches — You've already got ten minae with you; or
reckon up the account : thirty minae I gave for your freedom — Philematium — Why reproach me with that?
Philolaches — What, I reproach you with it9 Why, I had
rather that I myself were reproached with it ; no money what ever for this long time have I ever laid out equally well.
Philematium — Surely, in loving you, I never could have better employed my pains.
Philolaches — The account, then, of receipts and expendi ture fully tallies between ourselves ; you love me, I love you.
74 THE HAUNTED HOUSE.
Each thinks that it is so deservedly. Those who rejoice at this, may they ever rejoice at the continuance of their own happiness. Those who envy, let not any one henceforth be ever envious of their blessings.
[A friend and his mistress came in ; and while the party are carousing, the arrival of Philolaches' father is announced. The friend is too drunk to leave, and the party are at their wits' end. Tranio tells them to remain
quiet in the house, which is shut up, and he sallies out to meet the father. ]
Act II. — Scene I.
Enter Theuropides, followed by Attendants.
Theuropides [to himself] —Neptune, I do return extreme thanks to thee that thou hast just dismissed me from thee, though scarce alive. But from this time forward, thou shalt only know that have stirred foot upon the main, there no reason why, that instant, thou shouldst not do with me that which thou hast now wished to do. Away with you, away with you from me henceforth forever after to-day what was to intrust to thee, all of have now intrusted.
Enter Tranio, overhearing him.
Tranio [apart] — By my troth, Neptune, you've been much to blame, to have lost this opportunity so fair.
—
Theuropides —After three years, I've arrived home from Egypt. shall come welcome guest to my household,
suppose.
Tranio [apart]
Upon my faith, he might have come much more welcome one, who had brought the tidings you
were dead. — Theuropides [looking at the door]
But what means this Is the door shut in the daytime I'll knock. [Knocks at the
Hallo, there any one going to open this door for
door. ]
me
Tranio [coming forward, and speaking aloud] — What person that has come so near to our house
Theuropides — Surely, this my servant Tranio.
Tranio — Theuropides, my master, welcome I'm glad that you've arrived in safety. Have you been well all along
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THE HAUNTED HOUSE. 75
Theuropides — All along, as you see.
Tranio — That's very good.
Theuropides — What about yourselves ? Are you all mad ? Tranio — Why so ?
Theuropides — For this reason; because you are walking
about outside ; not a born person is keeping watch in the house, either to open or to give an answer. With kicking with my feet I've almost broken in the panels.
Tranio — How now ? Have you been touching this house ?
Theuropides — Why shouldn't I touch it ? Why, with kick ing it, I tell you, I've almost broken down the door.
Tranio — What, you touched it ?
Theuropides — I touched it, I tell you, and knocked at it. Tranio — Out upon you I
Theuropides — Why so ?
Tranio — By heavens ! 'twas ill done.
Theuropides — What is the matter ?
Tranio — It cannot be expressed how shocking and dread
ful a mischief you've been guilty of.
Theuropides — How so ?
Tranio — Take to flight, I beseech you, and get away from the house. Fly in this direction, fly closer to me. [He runs towards Tranio. ] What, did you touch the door?
Theuropides — How could I knock, if I didn't touch it ? Tranio — By all that's holy, you've been the death Theuropides — Of what person ?
Tranio — Of all your family.
Theuropides —May the gods and goddesses confound you with that omen.
Tranio — I'm afraid that you can't make satisfaction for yourself and them.
Theuropides — For what reason, or what new affair is this that you thus suddenly bring me news of ?
Tranio — And [whispering'] people to move away from here. of Theuropides. ]
hark you, prithee, do bid those [Pointing to the Attendants
—
Theuropides [to the Attendants] Move away from here.
Tranio — Don't you touch the house.