No More Learning

_Ans. _ God bless you Glutton, and unmerciful Devourer of Cakes.

_Sal. _ God bless you heartily President of all Virtue.

_Ans. _ God bless you in like Manner, Pattern of universal Honesty.

_Sal. _ God save you little old Woman of Fifteen Years of Age.

_Ans. _ God save you Girl, eighty Years old.

_Sal. _ Much good may it do you with your bald Pate.

_Ans. _ And much good may it do you with your slit Nose. As you salute,
so you shall be saluted again. If you say that which is ill, you shall
hear that which is worse.

_Sal. _ God save you again and again.

_Ans. _ God save you for ever and ever.

_Sal. _ God save you more than a thousand Times.

_Ans. _ In truth I had rather be well once for all.

_Sal. _ God bless you as much as you can desire.

_Ans. _ And you as much as you deserve.

_Sal. _ I wish you well.

_Ans. _ But what if I won't be so? In truth I had rather be sick, than to
enjoy the Health that you want.

God bless your Holiness, Your Greatness, Your Highness, Your Majesty,
Your Beatitude, Your High Mightiness, are Salutations rather us'd by the
Vulgar, than approv'd by the Learned.


_In the Third Person_.

_Sapidus_ wishes Health to his _Erasmus_.

_Sapidus_ salutes his _Beatus_, wishing him much Health.

* * * * *

_Another Form_.

_Sal. _ God bless you _Crito_, I wish you well good Sir.

_Ans. _ And I wish you better. Peace be to thee Brother, is indeed a
Christian Salutation, borrow'd from the _Jews_: but yet not to be
rejected. And of the like Kind is, A happy Life to you.

_Sal. _ Hail Master.

_Ans. _ In truth I had rather have than crave.

_Sal. _ [Greek: Chaire].

_Ans. _ Remember you are at _Basil_, and not _Athens_.

_Sal. _ How do you then dare to speak _Latin_ when you are not at _Rome_?

* * * * *

_Forms of well Wishing_.

And to wish well is a Sort of Salutation.


_To a Woman with Child_.

God send you a good Delivery, and that you may make your Husband Father
of a fine Child. May the Virgin Mother make you a happy Mother. I wish
that this swell'd Belly may asswage happily. Heaven grant that this
Burthen you carry, whatsoever it is, may have as easy an out-coming as
it had an in-going. God give you a good Time.


_To Guests_.

Happy be this Feast. Much good may it do all the Company. I wish all
Happiness to you all. God give you a happy Banquet.

_To one that sneezes. _

May it be lucky and happy to you. God keep you. May it be for your
Health. God bless it to you.

_To one that is about to begin any Business. _

May it prove happy and prosperous for the Publick Good. May that you are
going about be an universal Good. God prosper what you are about. God
bless your Labours. God bless your Endeavours. I pray that by God's
Assistance you may happily finish what you have begun. May Christ in
Heaven prosper what is under your Hand. May what you have begun end
happily. May what you are set about end happily. You are about a good
Work, I wish you a good End of it, and that propitious Heaven may favour
your pious Undertakings. Christ give Prosperity to your Enterprise. May
what you have undertaken prosper. I heartily beg of Almighty God that
this Design may be as successful as it is honourable. May the Affair so
happily begun, more happily end. I wish you a good Journey to _Italy_,
and a better Return. I wish you a happy Voyage, and a more happy Return.
I pray God that, this Journey being happily perform'd, we may in a short
Time have the Opportunity of congratulating you upon your happy Return.
May it be your good Fortune to make a good Voyage thither and back
again. May your Journey be pleasant, but your Return more pleasant. I
wish this Journey may succeed according to your Heart's Desire. I wish
this Journey may be as pleasant to you, as the want of your good Company
in the mean Time will be troublesome to us. May you set Sail with
promising Presages. I wish this Journey may succeed according to both
our Wishes. I wish this Bargain may be for the Good and Advantage of us
both. I wish this may be a happy Match to us all. The blessed Jesus God
keep thee. Kind Heaven return you safe. God keep thee who art one Half
of my Life. I wish you a safe Return. I wish that this New-Year may
begin happily, go on more happily, and end most happily to you, and
that you may have many of them, and every Year happier than other.

_Ans. _ And I again wish you many happy Ages, that you mayn't wish well
to me _gratis_.

_Sal. _ I wish you a glorious Day to Day. May this Sun-rising be a happy
one to you.

_Ans. _ I wish you the same. May this be a happy and a prosperous Morning
to both of us.

_Sal. _ Father, I wish you a good Night. I wish you good Repose to Night.
May you sleep sweetly. God give you good Rest. May you sleep without
dreaming. God send you may either sleep sweetly or dream pleasantly. A
good Night to you.

_Ans. _ Since you always love to be on the getting Hand, I wish you a
thousand Happinesses to one you wish to me.

* * * * *

_Farewell at parting. _

Fare ye all well. Farewell. Take care of your Health. Take a great Care
of your Health. I bid you good by, Time calls me away, fare ye well. I
wish you as well as may be. Farewell mightily, or if you had rather have
it so, lustily. Fare you well as you are worthy. Fare you as well as you
deserve. Farewell for these two Days. If you send me away, farewell till
to-morrow. Would you have any Thing with me? Have you any Thing else to
say to me?

_Ans. _ Nothing but to wish you well.

_Sal. _ Take Care to preserve your Health. Take Care of your Health. Look
well to your Health. See that at the next Meeting we see you merry and
hearty. I charge you make much of your self. See that you have a sound
Mind in a healthful Body. Take Care you be universally well both in Body
and Mind.

_Ans. _ I'll promise you I will do my Endeavour. Fare you well also; and
I again wish you prosperous Health.

_Of saluting by another. _

Remember my hearty Love to _Frobenius_. Be sure to remember my Love to
little _Erasmus_. Remember me to _Gertrude's_ Mother with all imaginable
Respect; tell them I wish 'em all well. Remember me to my old
Companions. Remember me to my Friends. Give my Love to my Wife. Remember
me to your Brother in your Letter. Remember my Love to my Kinsman. Have
you any Service to command by me to your Friends?

_Ans. _ Tell them I wish them all heartily well.

_Sal. _ Have you any Recommendations to send by me to your Friends?

_Ans. _ Much Health to them all, but especially to my Father.

_Sal. _ Are there any Persons to whom you would command me any Service?

_Ans. _ To all that ask how I do. The Health you have brought from my
Friends to me, carry back again with much Interest. Carry my hearty
Service to all them that have sent their Service to me. Pray do so much
as be my Representative in saluting my Friends. I would have written to
my Son in Law, but you will serve me instead of a Letter to him.

_Sal. _ Soho, soho, whither are you going so fast?

_Ans. _ Strait to _Louvain_.

_Sal. _ Stay a little, I have something to send by you.

_Ans. _ But it is inconvenient for a Footman to carry a Fardel? What is
it?

_Sal. _ That you recommend me to _Goclenius, Rutgerus, John Campensis_,
and all the Society of Trilinguists.

_Ans. _ If you put nothing into my Snapsack but Healths, I shall carry
them with Ease.

_Sal. _ And that you may not do that for nothing, I pray that Health may
be your Companion both going and coming back.


_How we ought to congratulate one that is return'd from a Journey. _

We are glad you are come well Home. It is a Pleasure that you are come
Home safe. It is a Pleasure to us that you are come well Home. We
congratulate your happy Return. We give God Thanks that you are come
safe Home to us. The more uneasy we were at the Want of you, the more
glad we are to see you again. We congratulate you and ourselves too that
you are come Home to us alive and well. Your Return is the more pleasant
by how much it was less expected.

_Ans. _ I am glad too that as I am well myself I find you so. I am very
glad to find you in good Health. I should not have thought myself well
come Home if I had not found you well; but now I think myself safe, in
that I see you safe and in good Health.
* * * * *

_A Form of asking Questions at the first meeting. _


The ARGUMENT.

_This Colloquy teaches Forms of enquiring at the first
meeting. Whence come you? What News bring you? How do you
do? &c. _


_GEORGE, LIVINUS. _

_George. _ Out of what Hen-Coop or Cave came you?

_Liv. _ Why do you ask me such a Question?

_Ge. _ Because you have been so poorly fed; you are so thin a Body may
see thro' you, and as dry as a Kecks. Whence came you from?

_Liv. _ From Montacute College.

_Ge. _ Then sure you are come loaden with Letters for us.

_Liv. _ Not so, but with Lice I am.

_Ge. _ Well then you had Company enough.

_Liv. _ In truth it is not safe for a Traveller now a Days to go without
Company.

_Ge. _ I know well enough a Louse is a Scholar's Companion. Well but do
you bring any News from _Paris_?

_Liv. _ Ay, I do, and that in the first Place that I know you won't
believe. At _Paris_ a _Bete_ is wise, and an _Oak_ preaches.

_Ge. _ What's that you tell me?

_Liv. _ That which you hear.

_Ge. _ What is it I hear?

_Liv. _ That which I tell you.

_Ge. _ O monstrous! Sure Mushrooms and Stones must be the Hearers where
there are such Preachers.

_Liv. _ Well, but it is even so as I tell you, nor do I speak only by
hear say, but what I know to be true.

_Ge. _ Sure Men must needs be very wise there where _Betes_ and _Oaks_
are so.

_Liv. _ You are in the right on't.

* * * * *

_Of enquiring concerning Health. _

_Ge. _ Are you well?

_Liv. _ Look in my Face.

_Ge. _ Why do you not rather bid me cast your Water? Do you take me for a
Doctor? I don't ask you if you are in Health, for your Face bespeaks you
so to be; but I ask you how you like your own Condition?

_Liv. _ I am very well in my Body, but sick in my Mind.

_Ge. _ He's not well indeed that is sick in that Part.

_Liv. _ This is my Case, I'm well in my Body, but sick in my Pocket.

_Ge. _ Your Mother will easily cure that Distemper. How have you done for
this long Time?

_Liv. _ Sometimes better, and sometimes worse, as human Affairs commonly
go.

_Ge. _ Are you very well in health? Are your Affairs in a good
Condition? Are your Circumstances as you would have them? Have you
always had your Health well?

_Liv. _ Very well, I thank God. By God's Goodness I have always had my
Health very well. I have always been very well hitherto. I have been in
very good, favourable, secure, happy, prosperous, successful, perfect
Health, like a Prince, like a Champion, fit for any Thing.

_Ge. _ God send you may always enjoy the same. I am glad to hear it. You
give me a Pleasure in saying so. It is very pleasant to me to hear that.
I am glad at my Heart to hear this from you. This is no bad News to me.
I am exceeding glad to hear you say so. I wish you may be so always. I
wish you may enjoy the same Health as long as you live. In
congratulating you, I joy myself, Thanks to Heaven for it.

_Li. _ Indeed I am very well if you are so.

_Ge. _ Well, but have you met with no Trouble all this while?

_Li. _ None but the Want of your good Company.

_Ge. _ Well, but how do you do though?

_Li. _ Well enough, finely, bravely, very well as may be, very well
indeed, happily, commodiously, no Way amiss. I enjoy rather what Health
I wish, than what I deserved, Princely, Herculean, Champion-like.

_Ge. _ I was expecting when you would say Bull-like too.

* * * * *

_Of being Ill. _

_Ge. _ Are you in good Health?

_Li. _ I wish I were. Not altogether so well as I would be. Indeed I am
so, so. Pretty well. I am as well as I can be, since I can't be so well
as I would be. As I use to be. So as it pleases God. Truly not very
well. Never worse in all my Life. As I am wont to be. I am as they use
to be who have to do with the Doctor.

_Ge. _ How do you do?

_Li. _ Not as I would do.

_Ge. _ Why truly not well, ill, very ill, in an unhappy, unprosperous,
unfavourable, bad, adverse, unlucky, feeble, dubious, indifferent, State
of Health, not at all as I would, a tolerable, such as I would not wish
even to my Enemies.

_Ge. _ You tell me a melancholy Story. Heavens forbid it. God forbid. No
more of that I pray. I wish what you say were not true. But you must be
of good Chear, you must pluck up a good Heart. A good Heart is a good
Help in bad Circumstances. You must bear up your Mind with the Hope of
better Fortune. What Distemper is it? What Sort of Disease is it? What
Distemper is it that afflicts you? What Distemper are you troubled with?

_Li. _ I can't tell, and in that my Condition is the more dangerous.

_Ge. _ That's true, for when the Disease is known, it is half cured. Have
you had the Advice of any Doctor?

_Li. _ Ay, of a great many.

_Ge. _ What do they say to your Case?

_Li. _ What the Lawyers of _Demiphon_ (in the Play) said to him. One says
one Thing, another he says another, and the third he'll consider of it.
But they all agree in this, that I am in a sad Condition.

_Ge. _ How long have you been taken with this Illness? How long have you
been ill of this Distemper? How long has this Illness seiz'd you?

_Li. _ About twenty Days more or less, almost a Month. It's now near
three Months. It seems an Age to me since I was first taken ill.

_Ge. _ But I think you ought to take care that the Distemper don't grow
upon you.

_Li. _ It has grown too much upon me already.

_Ge. _ Is it a Dropsy?

_Li. _ They say it is not.

_Ge. _ Is it a Dissentery?

_Li. _ I think not.

_Ge. _ Is it a Fever?

_Li. _ I believe it is a Kind of Fever; but a new one, as ever and anon
new ones spring up that were unknown before.

_Ge. _ There were more old ones than enough before.

_Li. _ Thus it pleases Nature to deal with us, which is a little too
severe.

_Ge. _ How often does the Fit come?

_Li. _ How often do you say? Every Day, nay every Hour indeed.

_Ge. _ O wonderful! It is a sad Affliction. How did you get this
Distemper? How do you think you came by it?

_Li. _ By Reason of Want.

_Ge. _ Why you don't use to be so superstitious as to starve yourself
with Fasting.

_Li. _ It is not Bigotry but Penury.

_Ge. _ What do you mean by Penury?

_Li. _ I mean I could get no Victuals, I believe it came by a Cold. I
fancy I got the Distemper by eating rotten Eggs. By drinking too much
Water in my Wine. This Crudity in my Stomach came by eating green
Apples.

_Ge.