No More Learning

Some may not think it so sad for us, but we had both come to so love
him that it really seems as though we had lost a father. I never knew
either father or mother, so that the dear old man's death is a real blow
to me. Jonathan is greatly distressed. It is not only that he feels
sorrow, deep sorrow, for the dear, good man who has befriended him all
his life, and now at the end has treated him like his own son and left
him a fortune which to people of our modest bringing up is wealth beyond
the dream of avarice, but Jonathan feels it on another account. He says
the amount of responsibility which it puts upon him makes him nervous.
He begins to doubt himself. I try to cheer him up, and _my_ belief in
_him_ helps him to have a belief in himself. But it is here that the
grave shock that he experienced tells upon him the most. Oh, it is too
hard that a sweet, simple, noble, strong nature such as his--a nature
which enabled him by our dear, good friend's aid, to rise from clerk to
master in a few years--should be so injured that the very essence of
its strength is gone. Forgive me, dear, if I worry you with my troubles
in the midst of your own happiness; but, Lucy dear, I must tell some
one, for the strain of keeping up a brave and cheerful appearance to
Jonathan tries me, and I have no one here that I can confide in. I dread
coming up to London, as we must do the day after to-morrow; for poor Mr.
Hawkins left in his will that he was to be buried in the grave with his
father. As there are no relations at all, Jonathan will have to be chief
mourner. I shall try to run over to see you, dearest, if only for a few
minutes. Forgive me for troubling you. With all blessings,

"Your loving
"/Mina Harker. /"


_Dr. Seward's Diary. _

_20 September. _--Only resolution and habit can let me make an entry
to-night. I am too miserable, too low-spirited, too sick of the world
and all in it, including life itself, and I would not care if I heard
this moment the flapping of the wings of the angel of death. And he has
been flapping those grim wings to some purpose of late--Lucy's mother
and Arthur's father, and now. . . . Let me get on with my work.

I duly relieved Van Helsing in his watch over Lucy. We wanted Arthur to
go to rest also, but he refused at first. It was only when I told him
that we should want him to help us during the day, and that we must not
all break down for want of rest, lest Lucy should suffer, that he agreed
to go. Van Helsing was very kind to him. "Come, my child," he said;
"come with me. You are sick and weak, and have had much sorrow and much
mental pain, as well as that tax on your strength that we know of. You
must not be alone; for to be alone is to be full of fears and alarms.
Come to the drawing-room, where there is a big fire, and there are two
sofas. You shall lie on one, and I on the other, and our sympathy will
be comfort for each other, even though we do not speak, and even if
we sleep. " Arthur went off with him, casting back a longing look on
Lucy's face, which lay on her pillow, almost whiter than the lawn. She
lay quite still, and I looked round the room to see that all was as
it should be. I could see that the Professor had carried out in this
room, as in the other, his purpose of using the garlic; the whole of
the window-sashes reeked with it, and round Lucy's neck, over the silk
handkerchief which Van Helsing made her keep on, was a rough chaplet of
the same odorous flowers. Lucy was breathing somewhat stertorously, and
her face was at its worst, for the open mouth showed the pale gums. Her
teeth, in the dim, uncertain light, seemed longer and sharper than they
had been in the morning. In particular, by some trick of the light, the
canine teeth looked longer and sharper than the rest. I sat down by her,
and presently she moved uneasily. At the same moment there came a sort
of dull flapping or buffeting at the window. I went over to it softly,
and peeped out by the corner of the blind. There was a full moonlight,
and I could see that the noise was made by a great bat, which wheeled
round--doubtless attracted by the light, although so dim--and every
now and again struck the window with its wings. When I came back to my
seat I found that Lucy had moved slightly, and had torn away the garlic
flowers from her throat. I replaced them as well as I could, and sat
watching her.

Presently she woke, and I gave her food, as Van Helsing had prescribed.
She took but a little, and that languidly. There did not seem to be
with her now the unconscious struggle for life and strength that had
hitherto so marked her illness. It struck me as curious that the moment
she became conscious she pressed the garlic flowers close to her. It was
certainly odd that whenever she got into that lethargic state, with the
stertorous breathing, she put the flowers from her; but that when she
waked she clutched them close. There was no possibility of making any
mistake about this, for in the long hours that followed, she had many
spells of sleeping and waking, and repeated both actions many times.

At six o'clock Van Helsing came to relieve me. Arthur had then fallen
into a doze, and he mercifully let him sleep on. When he saw Lucy's face
I could hear the hissing indraw of his breath, and he said to me in a
sharp whisper: "Draw up the blind; I want light! " Then he bent down,
and, with his face almost touching Lucy's, examined her carefully. He
removed the flowers and lifted the silk handkerchief from her throat.
As he did so he started back, and I could hear his ejaculation, "Mein
Gott! " as it was smothered in his throat. I bent over and looked too,
and as I noticed some queer chill came over me.

The wounds on the throat had absolutely disappeared.

For fully five minutes Van Helsing stood looking at her, with his face
at its sternest. Then he turned to me and said calmly:--

"She is dying. It will not be long now. It will be much difference, mark
me, whether she dies conscious or in her sleep. Wake that poor boy, and
let him come and see the last; he trusts us, and we have promised him. "

I went to the dining-room and waked him. He was dazed for a moment, but
when he saw the sunlight streaming in through the edges of the shutters
he thought he was late, and expressed his fear. I assured him that
Lucy was still asleep, but told him as gently as I could that both Van
Helsing and I feared that the end was near. He covered his face with
his hands, and slid down on his knees by the sofa, where he remained,
perhaps a minute, with his hands buried, praying, whilst his shoulders
shook with grief. I took him by the hand and raised him up. "Come," I
said, "my dear old fellow, summon all your fortitude; it will be best
and easiest for _her_. "

When we came into Lucy's room I could see that Van Helsing had, with his
usual forethought, been putting matters straight and making everything
look as pleasing as possible. He had even brushed Lucy's hair, so that
it lay on the pillow in its usual sunny ripples. When we came into the
room she opened her eyes, and seeing him, whispered softly:--

"Arthur! Oh, my love, I am glad you have come! " He was stooping to kiss
her, when Van Helsing motioned him back. "No," he whispered, "not yet!
Hold her hand; it will comfort her more. "

So Arthur took her hand and knelt beside her, and she looked her best,
with all the soft lines matching the angelic beauty of her eyes. Then
gradually her eyes closed, and she sank to sleep. For a little bit her
breast heaved softly, and her breath came and went like a tired child's.

And then insensibly there came the strange change which I had noticed in
the night. Her breathing grew stertorous, the mouth opened, and the pale
gums, drawn back, made the teeth look longer and sharper than ever. In a
sort of sleep-waking, vague, unconscious way she opened her eyes, which
were now dull and hard at once, and said in a soft voluptuous voice,
such as I had never heard from her lips:--

"Arthur! Oh, my love, I am so glad you have come! Kiss me! " Arthur bent
eagerly over to kiss her; but at that instant Van Helsing, who, like me,
had been startled by her voice, swooped upon him, and catching him by
the neck with both hands, dragged him back with a fury of strength which
I never thought he could have possessed, and actually hurled him almost
across the room.

"Not for your life! " he said; "not for your living soul and hers! " And
he stood between them like a lion at bay.

Arthur was so taken aback that he did not for a moment know what to do
or say; and before any impulse of violence could seize him he realised
the place and the occasion, and he stood silent, waiting.

I kept my eyes fixed on Lucy, as did Van Helsing, and we saw a spasm
as of rage flit like a shadow over her face; the sharp teeth champed
together. Then her eyes closed, and she breathed heavily.

Very shortly after she opened her eyes in all their softness, and
putting out her poor pale, thin hand, took Van Helsing's great brown
one; drawing it to her, she kissed it. "My true friend," she said, in a
faint voice, but with untellable pathos, "My true friend, and his! Oh,
guard him, and give me peace! "

"I swear it! " said he solemnly, kneeling beside her and holding up his
hand, as one who registers an oath. Then he turned to Arthur, and said
to him: "Come, my child, take her hand in yours, and kiss her on the
forehead, and only once. "

Their eyes met instead of their lips; and so they parted.

Lucy's eyes closed; and Van Helsing, who had been watching closely, took
Arthur's arm, and drew him away.

And then Lucy's breathing became stertorous again, and all at once it
ceased.

"It is all over," said Van Helsing. "She is dead! "

I took Arthur by the arm, and led him away to the drawing-room, where
he sat down, and covered his face with his hands, sobbing in a way that
nearly broke me down to see.

I went back to the room, and found Van Helsing looking at poor Lucy,
and his face was sterner than ever. Some change had come over her body.
Death had given back part of her beauty, for her brow and cheeks had
recovered some of their flowing lines; even the lips had lost their
deadly pallor. It was as if the blood, no longer needed for the working
of the heart, had gone to make the harshness of death as little rude as
might be.

"We thought her dying whilst she slept,
And sleeping when she died. "

I stood beside Van Helsing, and said:--

"Ah, well, poor girl, there is peace for her at last. It is the end! "

He turned to me, and said with grave solemnity:--

"Not so! alas! not so. It is only the beginning! "

When I asked him what he meant, he only shook his head and answered:--

"We can do nothing as yet. Wait and see. "




CHAPTER XIII.

/Dr. Seward's Diary/--_continued. _


The funeral was arranged for the next succeeding day, so that Lucy and
her mother might be buried together. I attended to all the ghastly
formalities, and the urbane undertaker proved that his staff were
afflicted--or blessed--with something of his own obsequious suavity.
Even the woman who performed the last offices for the dead remarked to
me, in a confidential, brother-professional way, when she had come out
from the death-chamber:--

"She makes a very beautiful corpse, sir. It's quite a privilege to
attend on her. It's not too much to say that she will do credit to our
establishment! "

I noticed that Van Helsing never kept far away. This was possible
from the disordered state of things in the household. There were no
relatives at hand; and as Arthur had to be back the next day to attend
at his father's funeral, we were unable to notify any one who should
have been bidden. Under the circumstances, Van Helsing and I took it
upon ourselves to examine papers, etc. He insisted upon looking over
Lucy's papers himself. I asked him why, for I feared that he, being a
foreigner, might not be quite aware of English legal requirements, and
so might in ignorance make some unnecessary trouble. He answered me:--

"I know; I know. You forget that I am a lawyer as well as a doctor. But
this is not altogether for the law. You knew that, when you avoided the
coroner. I have more than him to avoid. There may be papers more--such
as this. "

As he spoke he took from his pocket-book the memorandum which had been
in Lucy's breast, and which she had torn in her sleep.

"When you find anything of the solicitor who is for the late Mrs.
Westenra, seal all her papers, and write him to-night. For me, I watch
here in the room and in Miss Lucy's old room all night, and I myself
search for what may be. It is not well that her very thoughts go into
the hands of strangers. "

I went on with my part of the work, and in another half-hour had found
the name and address of Mrs. Westenra's solicitor and had written to
him. All the poor lady's papers were in order; explicit directions
regarding the place of burial were given. I had hardly sealed the
letter, when, to my surprise, Van Helsing walked into the room,
saying:--

"Can I help you, friend John? I am free, and if I may, my service is to
you. "

"Have you got what you looked for? " I asked, to which he replied:--

"I did not look for any specific thing. I only hoped to find, and find I
have, all that there was--only some letters and a few memoranda, and a
diary new begun. But I have them here, and we shall for the present say
nothing of them. I shall see that poor lad to-morrow evening, and, with
his sanction, I shall use some. "

When we had finished the work in hand, he said to me:--

"And now, friend John, I think we may to bed. We want sleep, both you
and I, and rest to recuperate. To-morrow we shall have much to do, but
for the to-night there is no need of us. Alas! "

Before turning in we went to look at poor Lucy. The undertaker had
certainly done his work well, for the room was turned into a small
_chapelle ardente_. There was a wilderness of beautiful white flowers,
and death was made as little repulsive as might be. The end of the
winding-sheet was laid over the face; when the Professor bent over
and turned it gently back, we both started at the beauty before us,
the tall wax candles showing a sufficient light to note it well. All
Lucy's loveliness had come back to her in death, and the hours that had
passed, instead of leaving traces of "decay's effacing fingers," had but
restored the beauty of life, till positively I could not believe my eyes
that I was looking at a corpse.

The Professor looked sternly grave. He had not loved her as I had, and
there was no need for tears in his eyes. He said to me: "Remain till I
return," and left the room. He came back with a handful of wild garlic
from the box waiting in the hall, but which had not been opened, and
placed the flowers amongst the others on and around the bed. Then he
took from his neck, inside his collar, a little golden crucifix, and
placed it over the mouth. He restored the sheet to its place, and we
came away.

I was undressing in my own room, when, with a premonitory tap at the
door, he entered, and at once began to speak:--

"To-morrow I want you to bring me, before night, a set of post-mortem
knives. "

"Must we make an autopsy? " I asked.

"Yes, and no. I want to operate, but not as you think. Let me tell you
now, but not a word to another. I want to cut off her head and take out
her heart. Ah! you a surgeon, and so shocked! You, whom I have seen
with no tremble of hand or heart, do operations of life and death that
make the rest shudder. Oh, but I must not forget, my dear friend John,
that you loved her; and I have not forgotten it, for it is I that shall
operate, and you must only help. I would like to do it to-night, but for
Arthur I must not; he will be free after his father's funeral to-morrow,
and he will want to see her--to see _it_. Then, when she is coffined
ready for the next day, you and I shall come when all sleep. We shall
unscrew the coffin-lid, and shall do our operation; and then replace
all, so that none know, save we alone. "

"But why do it at all? The girl is dead. Why mutilate her poor body
without need? And if there is no necessity for a post-mortem and
nothing to gain by it--no good to her, to us, to science, to human
knowledge--why do it? Without such it is monstrous. "

For answer he put his hand on my shoulder, and said, with infinite
tenderness:--

"Friend John, I pity your poor bleeding heart; and I love you the more
because it does so bleed. If I could, I would take on myself the burden
that you do bear. But there are things that you know not, but that you
shall know, and bless me for knowing, though they are not pleasant
things. John, my child, you have been my friend now many years, and yet
did you ever know me to do any without good cause? I may err--I am but
man; but I believe in all I do. Was it not for these causes that you
send for me when the great trouble came? Yes! Were you not amazed, nay
horrified, when I would not let Arthur kiss his love--though she was
dying--and snatched him away by all my strength? Yes! And yet you saw
how she thanked me, with her so beautiful dying eyes, her voice, too, so
weak, and she kiss my rough old hand and bless me? Yes!
And did you not
hear me swear promise to her, that so she closed her eyes grateful? Yes!

"Well, I have good reason now for all I want to do. You have for many
years trust me; you have believe me weeks past, when there be things so
strange that you might have well doubt. Believe me yet a little, friend
John. If you trust me not, then I must tell what I think; and that is
not perhaps well. And if I work--as work I shall, no matter trust or no
trust--without my friend trust in me, I work with heavy heart, and feel,
oh! so lonely when I want all help and courage that may be! " He paused
a moment, and went on solemnly: "Friend John, there are strange and
terrible days before us. Let us not be two, but one, that so we work to
a good end. Will you not have faith in me? "

I took his hand, and promised him. I held my door open as he went away,
and watched him go into his room and close the door. As I stood without
moving, I saw one of the maids pass silently along the passage--she had
her back towards me, so did not see me--and go into the room where Lucy
lay. The sight touched me. Devotion is so rare, and we are so grateful
to those who show it unasked to those we love. Here was a poor girl
putting aside the terrors which she naturally had of death to go watch
alone by the bier of the mistress whom she loved, so that the poor clay
might not be lonely till laid to eternal rest. . . .

I must have slept long and soundly, for it was broad daylight when Van
Helsing waked me by coming into my room. He came over to my bedside and
said:--

"You need not trouble about the knives; we shall not do it. "

"Why not? " I asked. For his solemnity of the night before had greatly
impressed me.

"Because," he said sternly, "it is too late--or too early. See! " Here he
held up the little golden crucifix. "This was stolen in the night. "

"How stolen," I asked in wonder, "since you have it now? "

"Because I get it back from the worthless wretch who stole it, from the
woman who robbed the dead and the living. Her punishment will surely
come, but not through me; she knew not altogether what she did, and thus
unknowing, she only stole. Now we must wait. "

He went away on the word, leaving me with a new mystery to think of, a
new puzzle to grapple with.

The forenoon was a dreary time, but at noon the solicitor came: Mr.
Marquand, of Wholeman, Sons, Marquand & Lidderdale. He was very genial
and very appreciative of what we had done, and took off our hands all
cares as to details. During lunch he told us that Mrs. Westenra had for
some time expected sudden death from her heart, and had put her affairs
in absolute order; he informed us that, with the exception of a certain
entailed property of Lucy's father which now, in default of direct
issue, went back to a distant branch of the family, the whole estate,
real and personal, was left absolutely to Arthur Holmwood. When he had
told us so much he went on:--

"Frankly we did our best to prevent such a testamentary disposition, and
pointed out certain contingencies that might leave her daughter either
penniless or not so free as she should be to act regarding a matrimonial
alliance. Indeed, we pressed the matter so far that we almost came into
collision, for she asked us if we were or were not prepared to carry
out her wishes. Of course, we had then no alternative but to accept.
We were right in principle, and ninety-nine times out of a hundred
we should have proved, by the logic of events, the accuracy of our
judgment. Frankly, however, I must admit that in this case any other
form of disposition would have rendered impossible the carrying out of
her wishes. For by her predeceasing her daughter the latter would have
come into possession of the property, and, even had she only survived
her mother by five minutes, her property would, in case there were no
will--and a will was a practical impossibility in such a case--have
been treated at her decease as under intestacy. In which case, Lord
Godalming, though so dear a friend, would have had no claim in the
world; and the inheritors, being remote, would not be likely to abandon
their just rights for sentimental reasons regarding an entire stranger.
I assure you, my dear sirs, I am rejoiced at the result, perfectly
rejoiced. "

He was a good fellow, but his rejoicing at the one little part--in which
he was officially interested--of so great a tragedy was an object-lesson
in the limitations of sympathetic understanding.

He did not remain long, but said he would look in later in the day and
see Lord Godalming. His coming, however, had been a certain comfort
to us, since it assured us that we should not have to dread hostile
criticism as to any of our acts. Arthur was expected at five o'clock,
so a little before that time we visited the death-chamber. It was so in
very truth, for now both mother and daughter lay in it. The undertaker,
true to his craft, had made the best display he could of his goods,
and there was a mortuary air about the place that lowered our spirits
at once. Van Helsing ordered the former arrangement to be adhered to,
explaining that, as Lord Godalming was coming very soon, it would be
less harrowing to his feelings to see all that was left of his _fiancee_
quite alone. The undertaker seemed shocked at his own stupidity, and
exerted himself to restore things to the condition in which we left them
the night before, so that when Arthur came such shocks to his feelings
as we could avoid were saved.

Poor fellow! He looked desperately sad and broken; even his stalwart
manhood seemed to have shrunk somewhat under the strain of his
much-tried emotions. He had, I knew, been very genuinely and devotedly
attached to his father; and to lose him, and at such a time, was a
bitter blow to him. With me he was warm as ever, and to Van Helsing he
was sweetly courteous; but I could not help seeing that there was some
constraint with him. The Professor noticed it, too, and motioned me to
bring him upstairs. I did so, and left him at the door of the room, as
I felt he would like to be quite alone with her; but he took my arm and
led me in, saying huskily:--

"You loved her too, old fellow; she told me all about it, and there was
no friend had a closer place in her heart than you. I don't know how to
thank you for all you have done for her. I can't think yet. . . . "

Here he suddenly broke down, and threw his arms round my shoulders and
laid his head on my breast, crying:--

"Oh, Jack! Jack! What shall I do? The whole of life seems gone from me
all at once, and there is nothing in the wide world for me to live for. "

I comforted him as well as I could. In such cases men do not need much
expression. A grip of the hand, the tightening of an arm over the
shoulder, a sob in unison, are expressions of sympathy dear to a man's
heart. I stood still and silent till his sobs died away, and then I said
softly to him:--

"Come and look at her. "

Together we moved over to the bed, and I lifted the lawn from her face.
God! how beautiful she was. Every hour seemed to be enhancing her
loveliness. It frightened and amazed me somewhat; and as for Arthur, he
fell a-trembling, and finally was shaken with doubt as with an ague. At
last, after a long pause, he said to me in a faint whisper:--

"Jack, is she really dead? "

I assured him sadly that it was so, and went on to suggest--for I felt
that such a horrible doubt should not have life for a moment longer
than I could help--that it often happened that after death faces became
softened and even resolved into their youthful beauty; that this was
especially so when death had been preceded by any acute or prolonged
suffering. It seemed to quite do away with any doubt, and, after
kneeling beside the couch for a while and looking at her lovingly and
long, he turned aside. I told him that that must be good-bye, as the
coffin had to be prepared; so he went back and took her dead hand in
his and kissed it, and bent over and kissed her forehead. He came away,
fondly looking back over his shoulder at her as he came.

I left him in the drawing-room, and told Van Helsing that he had said
good-bye; so the latter went to the kitchen to tell the undertaker's
men to proceed with the preparations and to screw up the coffin. When
he came out of the room again I told him of Arthur's question, and he
replied:--

"I am not surprised. Just now I doubted for a moment myself! "

We all dined together, and I could see that poor Art was trying to make
the best of things. Van Helsing had been silent all dinner-time, but
when we had lit our cigars he said:--

"Lord----;" but Arthur interrupted him:--

"No, no, not that, for God's sake! not yet at any rate. Forgive me, sir:
I did not mean to speak offensively; it is only because my loss is so
recent. "

The Professor answered very sweetly:--

"I only used that name because I was in doubt. I must not call you
'Mr. ,' and I have grown to love you--yes, my dear boy, to love you--as
Arthur. "

Arthur held out his hand, and took the old man's warmly.

"Call me what you will," he said. "I hope I may always have the title of
a friend. And let me say that I am at a loss for words to thank you for
your goodness to my poor dear. " He paused a moment, and went on: "I know
that she understood your goodness even better than I do; and if I was
rude or in any way wanting at that time you acted so--you remember"--the
Professor nodded--"you must forgive me. "

He answered with a grave kindness:--

"I know it was hard for you to quite trust me then, for to trust such
violence needs to understand; and I take it that you do not--that you
cannot--trust me now, for you do not yet understand. And there may be
more times when I shall want you to trust when you cannot--and may
not--and must not yet understand. But the time will come when your trust
shall be whole and complete in me, and when you shall understand as
though the sunlight himself shone through. Then you shall bless me from
first to last for your own sake, and for the sake of others, and for her
dear sake to whom I swore to protect. "

"And, indeed, indeed, sir," said Arthur warmly, "I shall in all ways
trust you. I know and believe you have a very noble heart, and you are
Jack's friend, and you were hers. You shall do what you like. "

The Professor cleared his throat a couple of times, as though about to
speak, and finally said:--

"May I ask you something now? "

"Certainly. "

"You know that Mrs. Westenra left you all her property? "

"No, poor dear; I never thought of it. "

"And as it is all yours, you have a right to deal with it as you will.
I want you to give me permission to read all Miss Lucy's papers and
letters. Believe me, it is no idle curiosity. I have a motive of which,
be sure, she would have approved. I have them all here. I took them
before we knew that all was yours, so that no strange hand might touch
them--no strange eye look through words into her soul. I shall keep
them, if I may; even you may not see them yet, but I shall keep them
safe. No word shall be lost; and in the good time I shall give them back
to you. It's a hard thing I ask, but you will do it, will you not, for
Lucy's sake? "

Arthur spoke out heartily, like his old self:--

"Dr. Van Helsing, you may do what you will. I feel that in saying this I
am doing what my dear one would have approved. I shall not trouble you
with questions till the time comes. "

The old Professor stood up as he said solemnly:--

"And you are right. There will be pain for us all; but it will not be
all pain, nor will this pain be the last. We and you too--you most of
all, my dear boy--will have to pass through the bitter water before we
reach the sweet. But we must be brave of heart and unselfish, and do our
duty, and all will be well! "

I slept on a sofa in Arthur's room that night. Van Helsing did not go
to bed at all. He went to and fro, as if patrolling the house, and was
never out of sight of the room where Lucy lay in her coffin, strewn with
the wild garlic flowers, which sent, through the odour of lily and rose,
a heavy, overpowering smell into the night.


_Mina Harker's Journal. _

_22 September. _--In the train to Exeter. Jonathan sleeping.

It seems only yesterday that the last entry was made, and yet how much
between them, in Whitby and all the world before me, Jonathan away and
no news of him; and now, married to Jonathan, Jonathan a solicitor, a
partner, rich, master of his business, Mr. Hawkins dead and buried, and
Jonathan with another attack that may harm him. Some day he may ask
me about it. Down it all goes. I am rusty in my shorthand--see what
unexpected prosperity does for us--so it may be as well to freshen it up
again with an exercise anyhow. . . .

The service was very simple and very solemn. There were only ourselves
and the servants there, one or two old friends of his from Exeter,
his London agent, and a gentleman representing Sir John Paxton, the
President of the Incorporated Law Society. Jonathan and I stood hand in
hand, and we felt that our best and dearest friend was gone from us. . . .

We came back to town quietly, taking a 'bus to Hyde Park Corner.
Jonathan thought it would interest me to go into the Row for a while,
so we sat down; but there were very few people there, and it was
sad-looking and desolate to see so many empty chairs. It made us think
of the empty chair at home; so we got up and walked down Piccadilly.
Jonathan was holding me by the arm, the way he used to in old days
before I went to school. I felt it very improper, for you can't go on
for some years teaching etiquette and decorum to other girls without
the pedantry of it biting into yourself a bit; but it was Jonathan, and
he was my husband, and we didn't know anybody who saw us--and we didn't
care if they did--so on we walked. I was looking at a very beautiful
girl, in a big cartwheel hat, sitting in a victoria outside Giuliano's
when I felt Jonathan clutch my arm so tight that he hurt me, and he said
under his breath: "My God! " I am always anxious about Jonathan, for
I fear that some nervous fit may upset him again; so I turned to him
quickly, and asked him what it was that disturbed him.

He was very pale, and his eyes seemed bulging out as, half in terror and
half in amazement, he gazed at a tall, thin man, with a beaky nose and
black moustache and pointed beard, who was also observing the pretty
girl. He was looking at her so hard that he did not see either of us,
and so I had a good view of him. His face was not a good face; it was
hard, and cruel, and sensual, and his big white teeth, that looked all
the whiter because his lips were so red, were pointed like an animal's.
Jonathan kept staring at him, till I was afraid he would notice. I
feared he might take it ill, he looked so fierce and nasty. I asked
Jonathan why he was so disturbed, and he answered, evidently thinking
that I knew as much about it as he did: "Do you see who it is? "

"No, dear," I said; "I don't know him; who is it? " His answer seemed to
shock and thrill me, for it was said as if he did not know that it was
to me, Mina, to whom he was speaking:--

"It is the man himself! "

The poor dear was evidently terrified at something--very greatly
terrified; I do believe that if he had not had me to lean on and to
support him, he would have sunk down. He kept staring; a man came out of
the shop with a small parcel, and gave it to the lady, who then drove
off. The dark man kept his eyes fixed on her, and when the carriage
moved up Piccadilly he followed in the same direction, and hailed a
hansom. Jonathan kept looking after him, and said, as if to himself:--

"I believe it is the Count, but he has grown young. My God, if this
be so! Oh, my God! my God! If I only knew! if I only knew! " He was
distressing himself so much that I feared to keep his mind on the
subject by asking him any questions, so I remained silent. I drew him
away quietly, and he, holding my arm, came easily. We walked a little
further, and then went in and sat for a while in the Green Park. It was
a hot day for autumn, and there was a comfortable seat in a shady place.
After a few minutes' staring at nothing, Jonathan's eyes closed, and
he went quietly into a sleep, with his head on my shoulder. I thought
it was the best thing for him, so did not disturb him. In about twenty
minutes he woke up, and said to me quite cheerfully:--

"Why, Mina, have I been asleep? Oh, do forgive me for being so rude.
Come, and we'll have a cup of tea somewhere. " He had evidently forgotten
all about the dark stranger, as in his illness he had forgotten all
that this episode had reminded him of. I don't like this lapsing into
forgetfulness; it may make or continue some injury to the brain. I must
not ask him, for fear I shall do more harm than good; but I must somehow
learn the facts of his journey abroad. The time is come, I fear, when I
must open that parcel and know what is written. Oh, Jonathan, you will,
I know, forgive me if I do wrong but it is for your own dear sake.

_Later. _--A sad home-coming in every way--the house empty of the dear
soul who was so good to us; Jonathan still pale and dizzy under a slight
relapse of his malady; and now a telegram from Van Helsing, whoever he
may be:--

"You will be grieved to hear that Mrs. Westenra died five days ago, and
that Lucy died the day before yesterday. They were both buried to-day. "

Oh, what a wealth of sorrow in a few words! Poor Mrs. Westenra! poor
Lucy! Gone, gone, never to return to us! And poor, poor Arthur, to
have lost such sweetness out of his life! God help us all to bear our
troubles.


_Dr. Seward's Diary. _

_22 September.