Montanus- No, it was a
stranger
who leaves here to-day.
Warner - World's Best Literature - v13 - Her to Hux
See how much wiser
the Turk is. We can never learn to wage war better than he
does. There are forests enough in Austria and Prague, if they
were only used for ships and masts. If we had a fleet in Austria
or Prague, then the Turk and the Frenchman would stop be-
sieging Vienna, and we could go to Constantinople. But nobody
thinks of such things.
Sivert the Inspector· No, not a mother's son of them. Our
forefathers were a good deal wiser. It all depends upon circum.
stances. Germany is no bigger now than it was in the old days,
when we not only defended ourselves well enough against our
neighbors, but even seized large parts of France, and besieged
Paris by land and water.
Frantz the Wigmaker-But Paris isn't a seaport.
Sivert the Inspector - Then I have read my map very badly.
I know how Paris lies. Here lies England, right where my fin-
ger is; here is the Channel, here is Bordeaux, and here is Paris.
## p. 7422 (#224) ###########################################
7422
LUDVIG HOLBERG
Frantz the Wigmaker-No, brother! Here is Germany, close
to France, which connects with Germany; ergo, Paris cannot be a
seaport.
Sivert Doesn't France have any sea-coast?
Frantz - No indeed; a Frenchman who has not traveled
abroad doesn't know anything about ships and boats. Ask Mas-
ter Herman. Isn't it the way I say, Master Herman?
Herman-I will soon settle the dispute.
Heinrich, get us the
map of Europe.
The Host - Here you have one, but it is in pieces.
Herman - That doesn't matter. I know where Paris is, well
enough, but I want the map to convince the others. Do you see,
Sivert, here is Germany.
Sivert That is all right; I can tell it by the Danube, which
lies here.
[As he points to the Danube his elbow tips over a mug, and the beer runs
over the map. ]
The Host-The Danube is flowing a little too fast.
[General laughter. ]
Herman-Listen, good people,- we talk too much about for-
eign affairs: let us talk about Hamburg; there is plenty here to
think about. I have often wondered how it happens that we
have no settlements in India, and have to buy our wares of others.
This is a matter that the Bürgermeister and his council ought to
think about.
Richart- Don't talk about Bürgermeister and council; if we
wait till they think about it, we shall have to wait a long while.
Here in Hamburg a bürgermeister gets credit only for restrict-
ing law-abiding citizens.
Herman - What I mean, my good men, is that it is not yet
too late; for why should not the King of India trade with us.
as well as with Dutchmen, who have nothing to send him but
cheese and butter, which generally spoils on the way? It is my
opinion that we should do well to bring the matter before the
council. How many of us are there here?
Host
There are only six of us; I don't believe the other six
are coming any more.
―
Herman-There are enough of us. What is your opinion,
host? Let us put it to vote.
## p. 7423 (#225) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7423
Host-I am not wholly in favor of it; for such journeys bring
a good many people here from town, and I pick up some skil-
lings from them.
Sivert-It is my opinion that we should think more of the
city's welfare than of our own interests, and that Master Her-
man's plan is one of the finest that has ever been made. The
more trade we have, the more the city must prosper; the more
ships come hither, the better it will be for us small officials.
Yet this is not the chief reason why I vote for the plan; and I
recommend it wholly for sake of the city's needs and prosperity.
Gert - I can't altogether agree with this plan, but propose
rather settlements in Greenland and Davis Strait; for such trade
would be much better and more useful for the city.
Frantz the Cutler-I see that Gert's vote has more to do
with his own interest than with the good of the republic; for
Indian voyages bring less business to furriers than voyages to
the North. For my part, I hold that the Indian trade is the
most important of all; for in India you can often get from the
savages, for a knife or a fork or a pair of scissors, a lump of gold
that weighs as much. We must arrange it so that the plan we
propose to the council shall not savor of self-interest, else we
shall not make much headway with it.
Richart-I am of Niels Skriver's opinion.
Herman You vote like a brushmaker: Niels Skriver isn't
But what does that woman want? It is my wife, I declare.
Enter Geske
here.
_____
Geske- Are you here, you idler? It would be quite as well
if
you did some work, or looked after your people a little. We
are losing one job after another by your neglect.
Herman-Be quiet, wife! You may be Frau Bürgermeister
before you know it. Do you suppose I am wasting my time? I
am doing ten times more work than all of you in the house: you
only work with your hands, and I am working with my head.
Geske― That's what all crazy folks do: they build air-castles,
and split their heads with craziness and foolishness, imagining
that they are doing something important when it amounts to
nothing at all.
Gert-If that was my wife, she shouldn't talk that way more
than once.
Herman-Ei, Gert! A politician mustn't mind it. Two or
three years ago, I would have dressed my wife's back for such
## p. 7424 (#226) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7424
words; but since I began to dip into political books, I have
learned to scorn talk like that. Qui nescit simulare, nescit regnare
(Who knows not how to dissimulate knows not how to reign),
says an old politician who was no fool; I think his name was
Agrippa or Albertus Magnus. It is a principle of politics all
over the world, that he who cannot bear a few sharp words from
an ill-tempered and crazy woman isn't fit for any high place.
Coolness is the greatest of virtues, and the jewel that best adorns
rulers and authorities. So I hold that no one here in the city
should have a place in the council before he has given proof
of his coolness, and let people see that he cannot be disturbed
by abusive words, blows, and boxes on the ear. I am quick-
tempered by nature, but I strive to overcome it by reflection. I
have read in the preface of a book called 'Der Politische Stock-
fisch (The Political Stockfish) that when a man is overcome
with anger he should count twenty, and his anger will often pass
away.
Gert-It wouldn't help me if I counted a hundred.
Herman - That means you are only fit for a humble place.
Heinrich, give my wife a mug of beer at the little table.
Geske Ei, you rascal, do you think I came here to drink?
Herman - One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,
ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen -now it is all over. Listen, mother:
you mustn't talk so harshly to your husband, it is so very
vulgar.
---
commission.
Geske- Is it genteel to beg? Hasn't any wife cause to scold,
when she has for husband an idler who neglects his family this
way, and lets his wife and children suffer?
Herman - Heinrich, give her a glass of brandy: she is getting
excited.
Geske Heinrich, box the ears of that rascal my husband.
Heinrich-You will have to do that yourself: I don't like the
___
-
Geske―Then I will do it myself. [Boxes her husband's ears. ]
Herman-One, two, three [counts up to twenty, then acts as
if he were about to strike back, but begins to count twenty over
again] If I hadn't been a politician, it would have been bad
for you.
Gert-If you can't manage your wife, I'll do it for you. [To
Geske. ] Get out of here!
[Geske flings herself out. ]
## p. 7425 (#227) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7425
Gert I'll teach her to stay at home next time. If you have
to be dragged about by the hair by your wife to be a politician,
I shall never be one.
Herman-Ah, ah! Qui nescit simulare, nescit regnare. It is
easily said, but not so easy to practice. I confess it was a great
shame my wife did me; I think I will run after her and beat
her in the street. Yet one, two, three [counts to twenty]. It
is all over: let us talk about something else.
Frantz-Women-folk have altogether too much to say here in
――
Hamburg.
Gert - That is true; I have often thought of making a pro-
posal on the subject. But it is a serious thing to get into trouble
with them. The proposal is a good one, however.
Herman-What is your proposal?
Gert - There are not many articles in it. First, I would not
have the marriage contract lasting, but only for a certain num-
ber of years, so that if a man were not satisfied with his wife,
he could make a new contract with another: only both he and
his companion should be bound to let each other know, three
months before moving day (which might be at Easter or Michael-
mas); in case he was satisfied with her, the contract might be
renewed. Believe me, if such a law were passed, there wouldn't
be a single bad wife in Hamburg: they would all do their best
to please their husbands and get the contract extended. Have
any of you anything to say against the article? Frantz! you
smile in a knowing way: you must have something to say against
it-let us hear from you.
Frantz Might not a wife sometimes find her account in
getting separated from a husband who either treated her badly,
or was lazy, doing nothing but eat and drink, without working
to support his wife and children? Or she might take a liking
for somebody else, and lead her husband such a dance that he
would let her go in spite of his resolve to keep her. I think
that great misfortunes might spring from such a plan. There
are ways to manage a wife, after all. If everybody would, like
you, Master Herman, count twenty every time his ears were
boxed, we should have a lot of fine wives. - Let us hear the
other articles, Gert.
Gert-Yes, you are likely to. You only want to make more
fun of me: no plan can be so good that something will not be
said against it.
XIII-465
―
## p. 7426 (#228) ###########################################
7426
LUDVIG HOLBERG
Herman-Let us talk about something else. Anybody who
heard us would think we met to discuss the marriage relation.
I was thinking last night, when I could not sleep, how the gov-
ernment of Hamburg might be changed so as to shut out a few
families, who seem born to be bürgermeisters and councilors, and
bring back full freedom to the city. I was thinking that we
might choose our bürgermeisters, now from one trade, now from
another, so that all citizens could share in the government and
all kinds of business prosper: for example, when a goldsmith
became bürgermeister he would look after the goldsmiths' inter-
ests, a tailor after the tailors', a pewterer after the pewterers';
and nobody should be bürgermeister more than a month, so that
no trade should prosper more than another. If the government
were arranged that way, we might be a truly free people.
All-Your plan is a fine one, Master Herman.
You talk
like
Solomon.
Franz the Cutler-The plan is good enough, but—
Gert the Furrier-You are always coming in with your
" buts. " I believe your father or mother was a Mennonite. *
Herman Let him say what he means. What do you want
to say? What do you mean by your " but "?
Frantz I was wondering whether it wouldn't be hard some-
times to find a good bürgermeister in every trade. Master Her-
man is good enough, for he has studied; but after he is dead,
where could we find another pewterer fit for such an office?
For when the republic is on its knees, it isn't as easy to mold it
into another shape as it is to mold a plate or a mug when it is
spoiled.
-
-
Gert-Oh, rubbish! We can find plenty of good men among
the working classes.
Herman- Listen, Frantz: you are a young man yet, and so
you can't see as far into things as we others; but I see that you
have a good head, and may amount to something in time. I
will briefly prove to you from our own company that your rea-
son is not a good one. There are twelve of us here, all work-
ing people, and each of us can see a hundred mistakes that the
council makes. Now just imagine one of us made bürgermeister:
he could correct the mistakes we have so often talked about,
and that the council is too blind to see. Would Hamburg City
*This is a play upon the words: Men-but; - Mennist, Mennonite.
## p. 7427 (#229) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7427
lose anything by such a bürgermeister? If you good people think
it would, I will give up my plan.
All-You are quite right.
Herman-But now about our affairs. The time is going, and
we haven't read the papers yet. Heinrich, let us have the latest
papers.
Heinrich-Here are the latest papers.
Herman-Hand them to Richart the brushmaker, who is our
reader.
Richart- They write from the head camp on the Rhine that
recruits are expected.
Herman-Yes, they have written that a dozen times running.
Skip the Rhine. I lose my temper altogether when that thing is
talked about. What is the news from Italy?
Richart- They write from Italy that Prince Eugene has
broken up his camp, crossed the Po, and passed by all the fort-
resses to surprise the enemy's army, which thereupon retreated
four miles in great haste. The Duke of Vendôme laid waste his
own country on the retreat.
Herman-Ah, ah! His Highness is struck with blindness; we
are undone; I wouldn't give four skillings for the whole army
in Italy.
Gert I believe that the Prince did right; that was always
my plan. Didn't I say the other day, Frantz, that he ought to
do so?
――――
Frantz - No, I can't remember that you did.
Gert-I have said so a hundred times, for how can the army
lie and loiter there? The Prince was all right. I will maintain
it against anybody.
Herman-Heinrich, give me a glass of brandy.
I must say,
gentlemen, that things grew black before my eyes when I heard
this news read. Your health, Mussiörs! Now, I confess I call it
a capital mistake to pass by the fortresses.
Sivert-I would have done just the same if the army had
been under my command.
Frantz-Yes, the next thing we shall see is that they will
make generals out of inspectors.
Sivert - You need not jeer; I could do as well as some other
people.
Gert - I think that Sivert is right, and that the Prince did
well to go straight at the enemy.
## p. 7428 (#230) ###########################################
7428
LUDVIG HOLBERG
Herman
Ei, my good Gert, you know too much; you have a
good deal to learn yet.
Gert- I won't learn it from Frantz the cutler.
―
[They get into a sharp quarrel, talk in one another's faces, get up from
their stools, storm and threaten. ]
Herman [strikes the table and shouts]-Quiet, quiet, gentlemen!
Let us not talk about it any more; every one can have his own
opinion. Listen, gentlemen, pay attention! Do you suppose the
Duke of Vendôme retreated and laid waste the country because
he was frightened? No; the fellow has read the chronicle of
Alexander Magnus, who acted just that way when Darius pursued
him, and then won a victory as great as ours at Hochstedt.
Heinrich-The postmaster's clock just struck twelve.
Herman-Then we must all go.
[They continue the dispute on the way out. ]
FROM ERASMUS MONTANUS›
[Rasmus Berg, the son of Jeppe and Nille, simple country-folk, has been
sent to the university for an education, and returns to his home a pedantic
prig. He has Latinized his name into Erasmus Montanus, and his attainments
make a deep impression upon his parents. The third act introduces, besides
these three, the betrothed of Erasmus, Lisbed by name, her parents Jeronimus
and Magdelone, Jesper Ridefoged the bailiff, and Per Degn the parish clerk. ]
N
TILLE-My son Montanus is staying away a long while. I
wish he would come back before the bailiff goes, for he
wants to talk with him, and is curious to ask him about
this and that, such as Why, there he comes! Welcome back,
my dear son! Jeronimus must have been glad to see Mr. Son in
good health after so long an absence.
Montanus-I spoke neither with Jeronimus nor his daughter,
on account of a fellow with whom I got into an argument.
Nille-What sort of a fellow was he? Perhaps it was the
schoolmaster.
Montanus- No, it was a stranger who leaves here to-day. I
know him a little, although I never associated with him in Copen-
hagen. I lose my temper completely with people who imagine
themselves the embodiment of all wisdom, and who are idiots. I
will tell you, little mother, what it was all about. The fellow
has been ordinarius opponens once or twice, and therein is his
―
## p. 7429 (#231) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7429
sole merita. But how did he perform his partes? Misere et
hæsitanter absq. methodo. When Præses once made a distinction
inter rem et modum rei, he asked, Quid hoc est? Wretch! you
should have learned that antequam in arenam descendis. "Quid
hoc est? " quæ bruta! A fellow that ignores distinctiones cardi-
nales, and yet would dispute publice!
Nille-Well, Mr. Son must not take it too much to heart. I
can tell from what you say that he must be a fool.
Montanus- An ignoramus.
Nille-Nothing is more certain.
Montanus- An idiot.
Nille-He cannct be anything else.
Montanus - He publicly confused materiam cum forma.
Nille-He ought to be punished for it.
Montanus-And such a fellow thinks he can dispute.
Nille-The devil he can!
Montanus - Not to speak of the mistake he made in his pro-
amio, when he said, Lectissimi et doctissimi auditores.
Nille-What a fool he must be!
Montanus - Think of putting lectissimus before doctissimus,
when lectissimus is a prædicat, as every beginner should know.
Jeppe But didn't my son get to talk with Jeronimus?
Montanus- No, for just as I was going in I saw the fellow
passing by the door, and since we knew each other I went up
to greet him; whereupon we got into a discussion about learned.
matters, and finally into a disputation, so that I had to postpone
my visit.
-
Jeppe I am afraid that Monsieur Jeronimus will take it ill,
that my son went to his place and came away without seeing him.
Montanus-I couldn't help it. When a man attacks philoso-
phy, he attacks my honor. I am fond of Mademoiselle Lisbed,
but metaphysica and logica have the prior place in my affections.
Nille-O my dear son, what do I hear? Are you engaged
to two other girls in Copenhagen? You may get into trouble
with the courts.
―――――――――
Montanus You don't understand me: it is not meant that
way. They are not girls, but two branches of science.
Nille-That is different. But here comes the bailiff; don't be
angry any more.
Montanus- I can't be angry with him, because he is a simple
and ignorant man, with whom I cannot get into any argument.
## p. 7430 (#232) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7430
turn.
Jesper - Serviteur, Monsieur. I congratulate you on your re-
Montanus-Thank you, Mr. Bailiff.
Jesper I am very glad that we have so learned a man in
town. It must have racked his brain a good deal before he got
so far.
I wish you joy, too, Jeppe Berg! Your son makes you
very happy in your old age.
Jeppe-Yes, that is true.
Jesper - Now listen, my dear Monsieur Rasmus: I want to ask
you about something.
Montanus
-
My name is Montanus.
Jesper [aside to Jeppe]-Montanus-is that Latin for Rasmus?
Jeppe-Yes, it must be.
Jesper - Listen, my dear Monsieur Montanus Berg: I have
heard said that learned folks have singular ideas. Is it true that
in Copenhagen they think the earth is round? Here in the coun-
try no one will believe it; for how can it be, since the earth
seems quite flat?
Enter Jesper
-
Montanus - That is because the earth is so big that we do
not notice its roundness.
—
Jesper -Yes, that is true: the earth is big; it is almost half as
big as the world. But listen, monsieur: how many stars would it
take to make a moon?
Montanus- A moon! The moon is to a star about as Pebling
Lake is to the whole of Sjælland.
Jesper Ha, ha, ha, ha! Learned people are never quite right
in their heads. I have even heard people say that the earth runs
and the sun stands still. Monsieur doesn't believe that too?
Montanus
Jesper - Ha, ha, ha! If the earth ran, we should all fall over
and break our necks.
Montanus-Cannot a ship sail with you without breaking your
――
―
neck?
Jesper But you say that the earth goes round; if a ship
turned over, wouldn't the people fall out into the sea?
Montanus-I will explain it more clearly, if you will only be
―――
- No reasonable man any longer doubts it.
patient.
Jesper I don't want to hear about it. I should have to be
crazy to believe such stuff. The earth turns round without our
## p. 7431 (#233) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7431
all falling into the gulf and going to the devil, ha, ha, ha! But,
my dear Monsieur Berg, how does it happen that the moon is
sometimes so little and sometimes so big?
Montanus- If I were to tell you, you wouldn't believe it.
Jesper But just be good enough to tell me.
Montanus- It is because when the moon is grown to full size,
they cut off little pieces to make stars of.
Jesper - That is very curious, I declare. I didn't know that
before. If they didn't cut off the little pieces it might grow too
big, and be as broad as Sjælland. Nature rules things very wisely.
But why doesn't the moon warm us like the sun, since it is quite
as big?
—
Montanus - It is because the moon gives no light, but is
made of the same dark matter as the earth, and gets its light
from the sun.
Jesper Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Let us talk about something
else. These things are distracting enough to make a man's head
turn Catholic.
are.
-
Enter Per Degn
Jeppe - Welcome, Per!
Good people come where good people
Here you see my son, who has just come home.
Per-Welcome here, Monsieur Rasmus Berg!
Montanus-In Copenhagen I am usually called Montanus: I
beg that you will address me by that name.
Per - All right, it amounts to about the same thing.
affairs in Copenhagen? Did many graduate this year?
Montanus-As many as usual.
Per-Were there some rejected this year?
Montanus-Two or three conditionaliter.
How are
Per-Who is imprimatur this year?
Montanus-What do you mean?
Per-I mean, who is imprimatur in verses and books that are
printed?
Montanus-Is that supposed to be Latin?
Per-It was good Latin in my time.
Montanus-
was never Latin in the sense you give to it.
Per-Good Latin it is, all the same.
Montanus-Is it a nomen or a verbum?
Per-It is a nomen.
―――
- If it was good Latin then, it must be now; but it
## p. 7432 (#234) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7432
Jesper That's right, Per, stick to it!
Montanus-Cujus declinationis is imprimatur then?
Per-All the words there are, belong to eight classes, which
are nomen, pronomen, verbum, principium, conjugatio, declinatio,
interjectio.
Jesper - Hear, hear; listen to Per, when he talks off-hand.
That is right, press him hard!
Montanus- He doesn't answer what I ask him. What is im-
primatur in genitivo?
Per-Nominativus ala, genitivus ala, dativus alo, vocativus alo,
ablativus ala.
Jesper - There, there, Monsieur Montanus, we have people here
in the country too.
Per-I should say so. In my time the fellows that matricu-
lated were of a different sort from nowadays. They were fellows
that got shaved twice a week, and could scandere all sorts of
verse.
Montanus - That is a great thing to boast of: anybody can
do that now in the second lesson. Fellows now graduate from
the schools of Copenhagen who can make Hebrew and Chaldaic
verses.
Per-Then they can't know much Latin.
Montanus-Latin! If you were to go to school now, they
would put you in the booby class.
Jesper - Don't say that, Montanus. I know that the clerk is a
deeply studied man; I have heard the tax collector and the dis-
trict judge say so.
Montanus-Perhaps they know no more Latin than he does.
Jesper But I can hear that he speaks up stoutly for himself.
Montanus- He doesn't answer the questions I ask him. E qua
schola dismissus es, mi domine?
Per-Adjectivum et substantivum genere, numero, et caseo con-
―
veniunt.
Jesper He gives him full measure, i' faith. Come, Per, we'll
have a glass of brandy together.
Montanus- If Mr. Bailiff knew what these answers meant, he
would split his sides laughing. I ask him from what school he
graduated, and he answers with a lot of rubbish that has nothing
to do with the question.
――――
-
Per-Tunc tua res agitur, paries cum proximus ardet.
Jesper - Well, well, now he wants to go on. Just answer that.
TH
## p. 7433 (#235) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7433
Let us
Montanus-I cannot answer it; it is mere nonsense.
talk Danish together, so that the others can understand, and you
will soon find out what sort of fellow he is.
[Nille weeps. ]
Jesper - What are you weeping for, mother?
Nille-It hurts me so to have my son beaten in Latin.
Jesper - Well, mother, that is no wonder,- Per is so much
older than he is. It is no wonder. Let them talk Danish now,
so we can all understand.
Per-Very well. I am ready for whichever he chooses. We
will ask each other a few questions: for example, who was it
that cried so loud that he was heard all over the world?
Montanus- I know of no one who can cry louder than don-
keys and parish clerks.
Per-Nonsense! can you hear them all over the world? It
was an ass in the ark, because the whole world was in the ark.
Jesper Ha, ha, ha! So it was, ha, ha, ha! Per Degn has
got a cunning head on his shoulders.
Per
Who killed a quarter of mankind?
Montanus-I do not answer such coarse questions.
Per-It was Cain, who killed his brother Abel.
-
Montanus- - Prove that there were not more than four human
beings in the world.
Per-Prove that there were more.
Montanus- I am not forced to; for affirmanti incumbit pro-
batio. Do you understand that?
Omnia conando docilis solertia vincit. Do
―――
Per-Certainly.
you understand that?
Montanus-I am very foolish to stay here in disputation with
a booby. You would dispute, and know neither Latin nor Dan-
ish, still less what logica is. Let us hear, Quid est logica?
Per-Post molestam senectutem, post molestam senectutem nos
habebat humus.
Montanus- - Will the rascal make fun of me?
-
[Grabs him by the hair; they struggle; the clerk escapes, crying "Booby,
booby! " All go out except the bailiff. ]
## p. 7434 (#236) ###########################################
7434
LUDVIG HOLBERG
―
Jeronimus-Your servant, Mr. Bailiff.
came to see my future son-in-law, Rasmus Berg.
Jesper He will be here right away.
Pity you didn't come
half an hour sooner; you might have heard him argue with the
clerk.
―――
Jeronimus- How did it come out?
Jesper Per Degn, deuce take him, is slyer than I thought;
I see that he has forgotten neither his Latin nor his Hebrew.
Jeronimus- I can believe that, for he never knew much of
—
Enter Jeronimus
them.
Jesper - Don't say that, Monsieur Jeronimus. He has got a
deuce of a mouth on him. It is really a pleasure to hear the
man talk Latin.
-
Jeronimus-That is more than I supposed he could do. But
how does my son-in-law look?
So I find you here. I
Jesper He looks dreadfully learned; you would hardly know
him again. He has got another name, too.
Jeronimus Another name! What is his name now?
the Turk is. We can never learn to wage war better than he
does. There are forests enough in Austria and Prague, if they
were only used for ships and masts. If we had a fleet in Austria
or Prague, then the Turk and the Frenchman would stop be-
sieging Vienna, and we could go to Constantinople. But nobody
thinks of such things.
Sivert the Inspector· No, not a mother's son of them. Our
forefathers were a good deal wiser. It all depends upon circum.
stances. Germany is no bigger now than it was in the old days,
when we not only defended ourselves well enough against our
neighbors, but even seized large parts of France, and besieged
Paris by land and water.
Frantz the Wigmaker-But Paris isn't a seaport.
Sivert the Inspector - Then I have read my map very badly.
I know how Paris lies. Here lies England, right where my fin-
ger is; here is the Channel, here is Bordeaux, and here is Paris.
## p. 7422 (#224) ###########################################
7422
LUDVIG HOLBERG
Frantz the Wigmaker-No, brother! Here is Germany, close
to France, which connects with Germany; ergo, Paris cannot be a
seaport.
Sivert Doesn't France have any sea-coast?
Frantz - No indeed; a Frenchman who has not traveled
abroad doesn't know anything about ships and boats. Ask Mas-
ter Herman. Isn't it the way I say, Master Herman?
Herman-I will soon settle the dispute.
Heinrich, get us the
map of Europe.
The Host - Here you have one, but it is in pieces.
Herman - That doesn't matter. I know where Paris is, well
enough, but I want the map to convince the others. Do you see,
Sivert, here is Germany.
Sivert That is all right; I can tell it by the Danube, which
lies here.
[As he points to the Danube his elbow tips over a mug, and the beer runs
over the map. ]
The Host-The Danube is flowing a little too fast.
[General laughter. ]
Herman-Listen, good people,- we talk too much about for-
eign affairs: let us talk about Hamburg; there is plenty here to
think about. I have often wondered how it happens that we
have no settlements in India, and have to buy our wares of others.
This is a matter that the Bürgermeister and his council ought to
think about.
Richart- Don't talk about Bürgermeister and council; if we
wait till they think about it, we shall have to wait a long while.
Here in Hamburg a bürgermeister gets credit only for restrict-
ing law-abiding citizens.
Herman - What I mean, my good men, is that it is not yet
too late; for why should not the King of India trade with us.
as well as with Dutchmen, who have nothing to send him but
cheese and butter, which generally spoils on the way? It is my
opinion that we should do well to bring the matter before the
council. How many of us are there here?
Host
There are only six of us; I don't believe the other six
are coming any more.
―
Herman-There are enough of us. What is your opinion,
host? Let us put it to vote.
## p. 7423 (#225) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7423
Host-I am not wholly in favor of it; for such journeys bring
a good many people here from town, and I pick up some skil-
lings from them.
Sivert-It is my opinion that we should think more of the
city's welfare than of our own interests, and that Master Her-
man's plan is one of the finest that has ever been made. The
more trade we have, the more the city must prosper; the more
ships come hither, the better it will be for us small officials.
Yet this is not the chief reason why I vote for the plan; and I
recommend it wholly for sake of the city's needs and prosperity.
Gert - I can't altogether agree with this plan, but propose
rather settlements in Greenland and Davis Strait; for such trade
would be much better and more useful for the city.
Frantz the Cutler-I see that Gert's vote has more to do
with his own interest than with the good of the republic; for
Indian voyages bring less business to furriers than voyages to
the North. For my part, I hold that the Indian trade is the
most important of all; for in India you can often get from the
savages, for a knife or a fork or a pair of scissors, a lump of gold
that weighs as much. We must arrange it so that the plan we
propose to the council shall not savor of self-interest, else we
shall not make much headway with it.
Richart-I am of Niels Skriver's opinion.
Herman You vote like a brushmaker: Niels Skriver isn't
But what does that woman want? It is my wife, I declare.
Enter Geske
here.
_____
Geske- Are you here, you idler? It would be quite as well
if
you did some work, or looked after your people a little. We
are losing one job after another by your neglect.
Herman-Be quiet, wife! You may be Frau Bürgermeister
before you know it. Do you suppose I am wasting my time? I
am doing ten times more work than all of you in the house: you
only work with your hands, and I am working with my head.
Geske― That's what all crazy folks do: they build air-castles,
and split their heads with craziness and foolishness, imagining
that they are doing something important when it amounts to
nothing at all.
Gert-If that was my wife, she shouldn't talk that way more
than once.
Herman-Ei, Gert! A politician mustn't mind it. Two or
three years ago, I would have dressed my wife's back for such
## p. 7424 (#226) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7424
words; but since I began to dip into political books, I have
learned to scorn talk like that. Qui nescit simulare, nescit regnare
(Who knows not how to dissimulate knows not how to reign),
says an old politician who was no fool; I think his name was
Agrippa or Albertus Magnus. It is a principle of politics all
over the world, that he who cannot bear a few sharp words from
an ill-tempered and crazy woman isn't fit for any high place.
Coolness is the greatest of virtues, and the jewel that best adorns
rulers and authorities. So I hold that no one here in the city
should have a place in the council before he has given proof
of his coolness, and let people see that he cannot be disturbed
by abusive words, blows, and boxes on the ear. I am quick-
tempered by nature, but I strive to overcome it by reflection. I
have read in the preface of a book called 'Der Politische Stock-
fisch (The Political Stockfish) that when a man is overcome
with anger he should count twenty, and his anger will often pass
away.
Gert-It wouldn't help me if I counted a hundred.
Herman - That means you are only fit for a humble place.
Heinrich, give my wife a mug of beer at the little table.
Geske Ei, you rascal, do you think I came here to drink?
Herman - One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,
ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen -now it is all over. Listen, mother:
you mustn't talk so harshly to your husband, it is so very
vulgar.
---
commission.
Geske- Is it genteel to beg? Hasn't any wife cause to scold,
when she has for husband an idler who neglects his family this
way, and lets his wife and children suffer?
Herman - Heinrich, give her a glass of brandy: she is getting
excited.
Geske Heinrich, box the ears of that rascal my husband.
Heinrich-You will have to do that yourself: I don't like the
___
-
Geske―Then I will do it myself. [Boxes her husband's ears. ]
Herman-One, two, three [counts up to twenty, then acts as
if he were about to strike back, but begins to count twenty over
again] If I hadn't been a politician, it would have been bad
for you.
Gert-If you can't manage your wife, I'll do it for you. [To
Geske. ] Get out of here!
[Geske flings herself out. ]
## p. 7425 (#227) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7425
Gert I'll teach her to stay at home next time. If you have
to be dragged about by the hair by your wife to be a politician,
I shall never be one.
Herman-Ah, ah! Qui nescit simulare, nescit regnare. It is
easily said, but not so easy to practice. I confess it was a great
shame my wife did me; I think I will run after her and beat
her in the street. Yet one, two, three [counts to twenty]. It
is all over: let us talk about something else.
Frantz-Women-folk have altogether too much to say here in
――
Hamburg.
Gert - That is true; I have often thought of making a pro-
posal on the subject. But it is a serious thing to get into trouble
with them. The proposal is a good one, however.
Herman-What is your proposal?
Gert - There are not many articles in it. First, I would not
have the marriage contract lasting, but only for a certain num-
ber of years, so that if a man were not satisfied with his wife,
he could make a new contract with another: only both he and
his companion should be bound to let each other know, three
months before moving day (which might be at Easter or Michael-
mas); in case he was satisfied with her, the contract might be
renewed. Believe me, if such a law were passed, there wouldn't
be a single bad wife in Hamburg: they would all do their best
to please their husbands and get the contract extended. Have
any of you anything to say against the article? Frantz! you
smile in a knowing way: you must have something to say against
it-let us hear from you.
Frantz Might not a wife sometimes find her account in
getting separated from a husband who either treated her badly,
or was lazy, doing nothing but eat and drink, without working
to support his wife and children? Or she might take a liking
for somebody else, and lead her husband such a dance that he
would let her go in spite of his resolve to keep her. I think
that great misfortunes might spring from such a plan. There
are ways to manage a wife, after all. If everybody would, like
you, Master Herman, count twenty every time his ears were
boxed, we should have a lot of fine wives. - Let us hear the
other articles, Gert.
Gert-Yes, you are likely to. You only want to make more
fun of me: no plan can be so good that something will not be
said against it.
XIII-465
―
## p. 7426 (#228) ###########################################
7426
LUDVIG HOLBERG
Herman-Let us talk about something else. Anybody who
heard us would think we met to discuss the marriage relation.
I was thinking last night, when I could not sleep, how the gov-
ernment of Hamburg might be changed so as to shut out a few
families, who seem born to be bürgermeisters and councilors, and
bring back full freedom to the city. I was thinking that we
might choose our bürgermeisters, now from one trade, now from
another, so that all citizens could share in the government and
all kinds of business prosper: for example, when a goldsmith
became bürgermeister he would look after the goldsmiths' inter-
ests, a tailor after the tailors', a pewterer after the pewterers';
and nobody should be bürgermeister more than a month, so that
no trade should prosper more than another. If the government
were arranged that way, we might be a truly free people.
All-Your plan is a fine one, Master Herman.
You talk
like
Solomon.
Franz the Cutler-The plan is good enough, but—
Gert the Furrier-You are always coming in with your
" buts. " I believe your father or mother was a Mennonite. *
Herman Let him say what he means. What do you want
to say? What do you mean by your " but "?
Frantz I was wondering whether it wouldn't be hard some-
times to find a good bürgermeister in every trade. Master Her-
man is good enough, for he has studied; but after he is dead,
where could we find another pewterer fit for such an office?
For when the republic is on its knees, it isn't as easy to mold it
into another shape as it is to mold a plate or a mug when it is
spoiled.
-
-
Gert-Oh, rubbish! We can find plenty of good men among
the working classes.
Herman- Listen, Frantz: you are a young man yet, and so
you can't see as far into things as we others; but I see that you
have a good head, and may amount to something in time. I
will briefly prove to you from our own company that your rea-
son is not a good one. There are twelve of us here, all work-
ing people, and each of us can see a hundred mistakes that the
council makes. Now just imagine one of us made bürgermeister:
he could correct the mistakes we have so often talked about,
and that the council is too blind to see. Would Hamburg City
*This is a play upon the words: Men-but; - Mennist, Mennonite.
## p. 7427 (#229) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7427
lose anything by such a bürgermeister? If you good people think
it would, I will give up my plan.
All-You are quite right.
Herman-But now about our affairs. The time is going, and
we haven't read the papers yet. Heinrich, let us have the latest
papers.
Heinrich-Here are the latest papers.
Herman-Hand them to Richart the brushmaker, who is our
reader.
Richart- They write from the head camp on the Rhine that
recruits are expected.
Herman-Yes, they have written that a dozen times running.
Skip the Rhine. I lose my temper altogether when that thing is
talked about. What is the news from Italy?
Richart- They write from Italy that Prince Eugene has
broken up his camp, crossed the Po, and passed by all the fort-
resses to surprise the enemy's army, which thereupon retreated
four miles in great haste. The Duke of Vendôme laid waste his
own country on the retreat.
Herman-Ah, ah! His Highness is struck with blindness; we
are undone; I wouldn't give four skillings for the whole army
in Italy.
Gert I believe that the Prince did right; that was always
my plan. Didn't I say the other day, Frantz, that he ought to
do so?
――――
Frantz - No, I can't remember that you did.
Gert-I have said so a hundred times, for how can the army
lie and loiter there? The Prince was all right. I will maintain
it against anybody.
Herman-Heinrich, give me a glass of brandy.
I must say,
gentlemen, that things grew black before my eyes when I heard
this news read. Your health, Mussiörs! Now, I confess I call it
a capital mistake to pass by the fortresses.
Sivert-I would have done just the same if the army had
been under my command.
Frantz-Yes, the next thing we shall see is that they will
make generals out of inspectors.
Sivert - You need not jeer; I could do as well as some other
people.
Gert - I think that Sivert is right, and that the Prince did
well to go straight at the enemy.
## p. 7428 (#230) ###########################################
7428
LUDVIG HOLBERG
Herman
Ei, my good Gert, you know too much; you have a
good deal to learn yet.
Gert- I won't learn it from Frantz the cutler.
―
[They get into a sharp quarrel, talk in one another's faces, get up from
their stools, storm and threaten. ]
Herman [strikes the table and shouts]-Quiet, quiet, gentlemen!
Let us not talk about it any more; every one can have his own
opinion. Listen, gentlemen, pay attention! Do you suppose the
Duke of Vendôme retreated and laid waste the country because
he was frightened? No; the fellow has read the chronicle of
Alexander Magnus, who acted just that way when Darius pursued
him, and then won a victory as great as ours at Hochstedt.
Heinrich-The postmaster's clock just struck twelve.
Herman-Then we must all go.
[They continue the dispute on the way out. ]
FROM ERASMUS MONTANUS›
[Rasmus Berg, the son of Jeppe and Nille, simple country-folk, has been
sent to the university for an education, and returns to his home a pedantic
prig. He has Latinized his name into Erasmus Montanus, and his attainments
make a deep impression upon his parents. The third act introduces, besides
these three, the betrothed of Erasmus, Lisbed by name, her parents Jeronimus
and Magdelone, Jesper Ridefoged the bailiff, and Per Degn the parish clerk. ]
N
TILLE-My son Montanus is staying away a long while. I
wish he would come back before the bailiff goes, for he
wants to talk with him, and is curious to ask him about
this and that, such as Why, there he comes! Welcome back,
my dear son! Jeronimus must have been glad to see Mr. Son in
good health after so long an absence.
Montanus-I spoke neither with Jeronimus nor his daughter,
on account of a fellow with whom I got into an argument.
Nille-What sort of a fellow was he? Perhaps it was the
schoolmaster.
Montanus- No, it was a stranger who leaves here to-day. I
know him a little, although I never associated with him in Copen-
hagen. I lose my temper completely with people who imagine
themselves the embodiment of all wisdom, and who are idiots. I
will tell you, little mother, what it was all about. The fellow
has been ordinarius opponens once or twice, and therein is his
―
## p. 7429 (#231) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7429
sole merita. But how did he perform his partes? Misere et
hæsitanter absq. methodo. When Præses once made a distinction
inter rem et modum rei, he asked, Quid hoc est? Wretch! you
should have learned that antequam in arenam descendis. "Quid
hoc est? " quæ bruta! A fellow that ignores distinctiones cardi-
nales, and yet would dispute publice!
Nille-Well, Mr. Son must not take it too much to heart. I
can tell from what you say that he must be a fool.
Montanus- An ignoramus.
Nille-Nothing is more certain.
Montanus- An idiot.
Nille-He cannct be anything else.
Montanus - He publicly confused materiam cum forma.
Nille-He ought to be punished for it.
Montanus-And such a fellow thinks he can dispute.
Nille-The devil he can!
Montanus - Not to speak of the mistake he made in his pro-
amio, when he said, Lectissimi et doctissimi auditores.
Nille-What a fool he must be!
Montanus - Think of putting lectissimus before doctissimus,
when lectissimus is a prædicat, as every beginner should know.
Jeppe But didn't my son get to talk with Jeronimus?
Montanus- No, for just as I was going in I saw the fellow
passing by the door, and since we knew each other I went up
to greet him; whereupon we got into a discussion about learned.
matters, and finally into a disputation, so that I had to postpone
my visit.
-
Jeppe I am afraid that Monsieur Jeronimus will take it ill,
that my son went to his place and came away without seeing him.
Montanus-I couldn't help it. When a man attacks philoso-
phy, he attacks my honor. I am fond of Mademoiselle Lisbed,
but metaphysica and logica have the prior place in my affections.
Nille-O my dear son, what do I hear? Are you engaged
to two other girls in Copenhagen? You may get into trouble
with the courts.
―――――――――
Montanus You don't understand me: it is not meant that
way. They are not girls, but two branches of science.
Nille-That is different. But here comes the bailiff; don't be
angry any more.
Montanus- I can't be angry with him, because he is a simple
and ignorant man, with whom I cannot get into any argument.
## p. 7430 (#232) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7430
turn.
Jesper - Serviteur, Monsieur. I congratulate you on your re-
Montanus-Thank you, Mr. Bailiff.
Jesper I am very glad that we have so learned a man in
town. It must have racked his brain a good deal before he got
so far.
I wish you joy, too, Jeppe Berg! Your son makes you
very happy in your old age.
Jeppe-Yes, that is true.
Jesper - Now listen, my dear Monsieur Rasmus: I want to ask
you about something.
Montanus
-
My name is Montanus.
Jesper [aside to Jeppe]-Montanus-is that Latin for Rasmus?
Jeppe-Yes, it must be.
Jesper - Listen, my dear Monsieur Montanus Berg: I have
heard said that learned folks have singular ideas. Is it true that
in Copenhagen they think the earth is round? Here in the coun-
try no one will believe it; for how can it be, since the earth
seems quite flat?
Enter Jesper
-
Montanus - That is because the earth is so big that we do
not notice its roundness.
—
Jesper -Yes, that is true: the earth is big; it is almost half as
big as the world. But listen, monsieur: how many stars would it
take to make a moon?
Montanus- A moon! The moon is to a star about as Pebling
Lake is to the whole of Sjælland.
Jesper Ha, ha, ha, ha! Learned people are never quite right
in their heads. I have even heard people say that the earth runs
and the sun stands still. Monsieur doesn't believe that too?
Montanus
Jesper - Ha, ha, ha! If the earth ran, we should all fall over
and break our necks.
Montanus-Cannot a ship sail with you without breaking your
――
―
neck?
Jesper But you say that the earth goes round; if a ship
turned over, wouldn't the people fall out into the sea?
Montanus-I will explain it more clearly, if you will only be
―――
- No reasonable man any longer doubts it.
patient.
Jesper I don't want to hear about it. I should have to be
crazy to believe such stuff. The earth turns round without our
## p. 7431 (#233) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7431
all falling into the gulf and going to the devil, ha, ha, ha! But,
my dear Monsieur Berg, how does it happen that the moon is
sometimes so little and sometimes so big?
Montanus- If I were to tell you, you wouldn't believe it.
Jesper But just be good enough to tell me.
Montanus- It is because when the moon is grown to full size,
they cut off little pieces to make stars of.
Jesper - That is very curious, I declare. I didn't know that
before. If they didn't cut off the little pieces it might grow too
big, and be as broad as Sjælland. Nature rules things very wisely.
But why doesn't the moon warm us like the sun, since it is quite
as big?
—
Montanus - It is because the moon gives no light, but is
made of the same dark matter as the earth, and gets its light
from the sun.
Jesper Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Let us talk about something
else. These things are distracting enough to make a man's head
turn Catholic.
are.
-
Enter Per Degn
Jeppe - Welcome, Per!
Good people come where good people
Here you see my son, who has just come home.
Per-Welcome here, Monsieur Rasmus Berg!
Montanus-In Copenhagen I am usually called Montanus: I
beg that you will address me by that name.
Per - All right, it amounts to about the same thing.
affairs in Copenhagen? Did many graduate this year?
Montanus-As many as usual.
Per-Were there some rejected this year?
Montanus-Two or three conditionaliter.
How are
Per-Who is imprimatur this year?
Montanus-What do you mean?
Per-I mean, who is imprimatur in verses and books that are
printed?
Montanus-Is that supposed to be Latin?
Per-It was good Latin in my time.
Montanus-
was never Latin in the sense you give to it.
Per-Good Latin it is, all the same.
Montanus-Is it a nomen or a verbum?
Per-It is a nomen.
―――
- If it was good Latin then, it must be now; but it
## p. 7432 (#234) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7432
Jesper That's right, Per, stick to it!
Montanus-Cujus declinationis is imprimatur then?
Per-All the words there are, belong to eight classes, which
are nomen, pronomen, verbum, principium, conjugatio, declinatio,
interjectio.
Jesper - Hear, hear; listen to Per, when he talks off-hand.
That is right, press him hard!
Montanus- He doesn't answer what I ask him. What is im-
primatur in genitivo?
Per-Nominativus ala, genitivus ala, dativus alo, vocativus alo,
ablativus ala.
Jesper - There, there, Monsieur Montanus, we have people here
in the country too.
Per-I should say so. In my time the fellows that matricu-
lated were of a different sort from nowadays. They were fellows
that got shaved twice a week, and could scandere all sorts of
verse.
Montanus - That is a great thing to boast of: anybody can
do that now in the second lesson. Fellows now graduate from
the schools of Copenhagen who can make Hebrew and Chaldaic
verses.
Per-Then they can't know much Latin.
Montanus-Latin! If you were to go to school now, they
would put you in the booby class.
Jesper - Don't say that, Montanus. I know that the clerk is a
deeply studied man; I have heard the tax collector and the dis-
trict judge say so.
Montanus-Perhaps they know no more Latin than he does.
Jesper But I can hear that he speaks up stoutly for himself.
Montanus- He doesn't answer the questions I ask him. E qua
schola dismissus es, mi domine?
Per-Adjectivum et substantivum genere, numero, et caseo con-
―
veniunt.
Jesper He gives him full measure, i' faith. Come, Per, we'll
have a glass of brandy together.
Montanus- If Mr. Bailiff knew what these answers meant, he
would split his sides laughing. I ask him from what school he
graduated, and he answers with a lot of rubbish that has nothing
to do with the question.
――――
-
Per-Tunc tua res agitur, paries cum proximus ardet.
Jesper - Well, well, now he wants to go on. Just answer that.
TH
## p. 7433 (#235) ###########################################
LUDVIG HOLBERG
7433
Let us
Montanus-I cannot answer it; it is mere nonsense.
talk Danish together, so that the others can understand, and you
will soon find out what sort of fellow he is.
[Nille weeps. ]
Jesper - What are you weeping for, mother?
Nille-It hurts me so to have my son beaten in Latin.
Jesper - Well, mother, that is no wonder,- Per is so much
older than he is. It is no wonder. Let them talk Danish now,
so we can all understand.
Per-Very well. I am ready for whichever he chooses. We
will ask each other a few questions: for example, who was it
that cried so loud that he was heard all over the world?
Montanus- I know of no one who can cry louder than don-
keys and parish clerks.
Per-Nonsense! can you hear them all over the world? It
was an ass in the ark, because the whole world was in the ark.
Jesper Ha, ha, ha! So it was, ha, ha, ha! Per Degn has
got a cunning head on his shoulders.
Per
Who killed a quarter of mankind?
Montanus-I do not answer such coarse questions.
Per-It was Cain, who killed his brother Abel.
-
Montanus- - Prove that there were not more than four human
beings in the world.
Per-Prove that there were more.
Montanus- I am not forced to; for affirmanti incumbit pro-
batio. Do you understand that?
Omnia conando docilis solertia vincit. Do
―――
Per-Certainly.
you understand that?
Montanus-I am very foolish to stay here in disputation with
a booby. You would dispute, and know neither Latin nor Dan-
ish, still less what logica is. Let us hear, Quid est logica?
Per-Post molestam senectutem, post molestam senectutem nos
habebat humus.
Montanus- - Will the rascal make fun of me?
-
[Grabs him by the hair; they struggle; the clerk escapes, crying "Booby,
booby! " All go out except the bailiff. ]
## p. 7434 (#236) ###########################################
7434
LUDVIG HOLBERG
―
Jeronimus-Your servant, Mr. Bailiff.
came to see my future son-in-law, Rasmus Berg.
Jesper He will be here right away.
Pity you didn't come
half an hour sooner; you might have heard him argue with the
clerk.
―――
Jeronimus- How did it come out?
Jesper Per Degn, deuce take him, is slyer than I thought;
I see that he has forgotten neither his Latin nor his Hebrew.
Jeronimus- I can believe that, for he never knew much of
—
Enter Jeronimus
them.
Jesper - Don't say that, Monsieur Jeronimus. He has got a
deuce of a mouth on him. It is really a pleasure to hear the
man talk Latin.
-
Jeronimus-That is more than I supposed he could do. But
how does my son-in-law look?
So I find you here. I
Jesper He looks dreadfully learned; you would hardly know
him again. He has got another name, too.
Jeronimus Another name! What is his name now?
