Together
with the trace of her stt'p::- and that of the distant roof.
Samuel Beckett
True the light leaves to be desired.
The lids occult the longed for eves.
Time will tell them washen blue.
Where tears perhaps not for nothing.
Unimaginable tears of old.
Lashes jet black remains of the brunette she was.
Per
haps once was. When :-et a lass. Yet brunette. Skipping the nose at the call of the lips these no sooner broached are withdrawn. The slab having darkened with the
darkening sky. Black night henceforward. And at
GL
dawn an empt:- place. With no means' of knowing whether she has gone in or under cover of darkness her wa:-s agam.
White stones more plentiful ever: :-ear. As well sa: every- instant. In a fair wa:- if the:- persist to bur: all. First zone rather more extensive than at first sight ill seen and every veal' rather more. Of striking effect in
,•G
the light of the moon these millions of little sepulchres. But in her absence but cold comfort. From it then in the end to the second miscalled pastures. Leprous with white scars where the grass has receded from the
chalky soil. In contemplation of this erosion the e:e
70
71
1
fmds solace. EYer:-,dH'1'(' ,. ;lon(' i,. ; gaining. Whit('n(',. ;,. ;.
More anel more eH'n ,ear. ,\s ,,-dl say ('ven instant.
EY er"dwrp PYl'n instanl ,,-hitl'w's,,; is gaml1la.
•r
The t'W ,,-ill return to the scene of its betraval,. ;. On centennial leaH' from ,,-here tears freeze. Fre(~ again an instant to shed thl:'m scalding. On the blest tears once
G
sheel. While (~xultingat the ,,-hite heap of stone. Ever heaping for ,,-ant of better on itself. Which if it persist "ill gain th<' skies. TIl(-' moon. Vt'nus.
From the stones sIll:' steps down into the pastures. As from one tier of a circus to the next. A gap time will fill. For faster than the stones invade it the other ground upheaves its own. So far in silence. A silence time will break. This great silence evening and night. Then all along the verge the muffled thud of stone on stone. Of those spilling their excess on those emergent. Onh- now and then at first. Then at ever briefer inter vals. Till one continuous din. With none to hear. De creasing as the levels draw together to silence once again. Evening and night. In the meantime she is sud-
denly sitting with her feet in the pastures. Were it not for the empty hands on the way who knows to the tomb. Back from it then more likely. On the way back from the tomb. Frozen true to her wont she seems turned to stone. Face to the further confines the eve closes in vain to see. At last they appear an instant.
North where she passes them always. Shroud of radiant haze. Where to melt into paradise.
The long white hair stares in a fan. Above and about the impassive face. Stares as if shocked still by some ancient horror. Or by its continuance. Or by another. That leaves the face stone-cold. Silence at the eve of the scream. Which sa)-? III sa)-. Both. All three. Ques tion answered.
Seated on the stones she is seen from behind. From the waist up. Trunk black rectangle. Nape under frill of black lace. White half halo of hair. Face to the north. The tomb. E)-es on the horizon perhaps. Or closed to
see the headstone. The withered crocuses. Endless
evening. She lit aslant bv the last rays. Thev make no L•
72
I. ')
t
difference. None to the black of the cloth. None to the
white hair. It too dead still. In the still air. Voidlike
calm as alwa:-s. Evening and night. Suffice to watch the
grass. How motionless it droops. Till under the relent
less eye it shivers. With faintest shiver from its inner
most. Equall:- the hair. Rigidl:- horrent it shivers at
last for the eye about to abandon. And the old body o0
itself. When it seems of stone. Is it not in fact ashiver from head to foot? Let her but go and stand still b) the other stone. It white from afar in the pastures. And the e:-e go from one to the other. Back and forth. What calm then. And what storm. Beneath the weeds' mock calm.
Nat possible an! - longer except as figment. Not endurable. Nothing for it but to close the e:-e for good and see her. Her and the rest. Close it for good and all and see her to death. Unremittent. In the shack. Over the stones. In the pastures. The haze. At the tomb. And back. And the rest. For good and all. To death. Be shut of it all. On to the next. Next figment. Close it for good this filthv eve of flesh. What forbids? Careful.
Such--sncll fiasco that follY takes a hand. Such bits and scraps. Seen no matter how and said as seen. Dread of black. Of white. Of void. Let her vanish. And the rest. For good. And the sun. Last rays. And the
moon. And Yenus. :'-iothing left but black sks. \:I/hit('
earth. Or inverselY, No more sky or earth. Finished
high and 10\\. '\othing but lllack and ·white. EYen- LL.
where no matter where. But black. Void. Nothinfr l,ls('. Contemplate that. Not another word. Home at last. Genth frenth.
Panic past pass on. The hands. Seen from ahoY<'.
They rest on the pubis intertwined. Strident whitl',
Tl1('ir faintly leaden tinge killed by the black ground.
•L-•l,
Suspicion of lace at the wrists. To go \\-ith tIll' frill. The\ tighten then loosen their clasp. Slow systole diastole. And the body that scandal. While its sole hands in vie\\-. On its sale pubis. Dead still to he Surl', On the chair. After the spectacle. Slowh its spell un binding. On and on the:- keep. Tifrhtening and loosen
ing their clasp. Rhythm of a lalJOuring heart. Till \\hl'n almost despairt'd of genth part. Smldenh [Il'nth.
74
,. )
1
Spreading rise and in midair palms uppermost cOille
to the mira<T"? And where '\! Wll sIlt' halts'? Tht' ev,:, llis
~.
cerns afar a kind of stain. Finallv the steep roof wh"nc{' part of the fresh fall has slid. Ullller the low lowering sky the north is los1. Obliterated b\ the snow th"
twelve arc there. Invisibll~ WlTC sht' to raisl' ht'r ('\ She on th" contran immaculatl'1 \ black. 0l at having received a single flake. Nothing neelkcl now but for
them to start falling again \\-hich therefon' they do. L'- .
First one Ln- one here and tlwrt'. Then thicker and thicker plumb through till' still air. Slowh she disap pears.
Together with the trace of her stt'p::- and that of the distant roof. How fmel her wav home? Home!
to rest. Behold our hollows. Then after a moment as if
to hide the lines fall back pronating as the:- go and
light flat on head of thighs. Within an ace of the crotch.
It is now the left hand lacks its third finger. A swelling '- '-'
no doubt--a swelling no doubt of the knuckle between first and second phalanges preventing one panic day withdrawal of the ring. The kind called keeper. Still as stones the) clef) as stones do the e:-e. Do the:- as much as feel the clad flesh'? Does tIll' clad flesh fel'l them'? \Vill the) then never lJuiwr'? This night as sureclh not. For before they have-lwfore the eH~ has
time they mist. Who is to blaull' '? Or what? Thev? The eye'? The missing 1ing('r'? The kl'elwr'? The cry? What
)LL•
cn? All flve. All si:\. . And the res1. 1\. 11. ,\. II to blame. All.
Winter l'Hning in the pastures. TIll' snow has
ceased. Her stl'ps so light the:- bard: It'ave a trace.
Have bareh left having ceased. Just l'nough to ]w still • L '
visible. Adrift the snOl\. Whither in her head whill~ Ill'r fe"t stra\ tim::>? Hither and thit! ln too'? Or llllswlTvin<T
. ~
{'~:i.
Ie) II
Even as the sound.
homing
b:nl. Safe as
t he
sa \-in:z
is and
All clark in the cabin while she; ,\'hitens afar. Silence but for the imaginan murmur of flakes beating all the
'-. '
roof. And even now and thcn a real creak. H,~r com pany. Here without having to close the c:e sees her afar. Motionless in the snow under the snow. 'Ill(' but tonhook trembles from its nail as if a night like any
G•
other. Facing: the black curtain the chair e:\. lllJes ib
I
solitude. For \\ant of a fellow-table. Far from it in a
corner see suddenl:- an antique coffer. In its therefore
no lesser solitude. It perhaps that creaks. ~\nd in its
depths who knows the ke:-. The key to close. But this
night the chair. Its immovable air. Less than t h e
more than the empty seat the barred back is piteous.
Here if she eats here she sits to eat. The eye closes in
the dark and sees her in the end. With her right hand
L
dipped in the slop. So far so good. But before she can proceed she fades and disappears. Nothing now for the staring e:-e but the chair in its solitude.
One evening she was followed b:- a lamb. Reared for slaughter like the others it left them to follow her. In
L-
the present to conclude. All so by-gone. Slaughter apart it is not like the others. Hanging to the ground in mat-
as large as life she holds the edge of the bo\\l resting
L- L L L-L-L
on her knees. With her left the spoon dipped in the
slop. She waits. For it to cool perhaps. But no. Merel:
frozen again just as about to begin. At last in a twin
L. •L
movement full of grace she slowly' raises the bowl to
ward her lips while at the same time with equal slow
ness bowing her head to J' oin it. Having set out at the L- L
same instant they meet halfway and there come to rest. Fresh rigor before the 6. rst spoonful slobbered largely back into the slop. Others no happier till time to part lips and bowl and slowly- back with never a slip to their starting points. As smooth and even fro as to. Now again the rigid Memnon pose. With her right hand she holds the edge of the bowl. With her left the spoon
ted coils its fleece hides the little shanks. Rather than walk it seems to glide like a to:- in tow. It halts at the same instant as she. At the same instant as she straYs on. Stockstill as she it waits with head like hers extrava gantly bowed. Clash of black and white that far from
muting the last ra:-s amplify-. It is now her puniness leaps to the ey-e. Thanks it would seem to the Imd: creature next her. Brief paradox. For suddenly' to gether they move on. Hither and thither toward the
stones. There she turns and sits. Does she see the white body at her feet? Head haught now she gazes
•L-L
into emptiness. That profusion. Or with closed ey-es sees the tomb. The lamb goes no further. Alone night
78
79
fallen she makes for homC'. Home! _\s straight as were it to be seen.
\Vas it ('yer owr and done witb 'Iuestions? Dead the "'hole brood no sooner hatched. Long before. In the
L-
egg. Long lwfore. Oyer and done with answerinb(J. With
GL L-
not bein(J able. \,\'ith not being able not to want to C0
know. '-Vith not lwinf: able. No. Never. i\ dream. Ques tion ans\l-ered.
What remains for tlll: e:-e e"-posed to such condi tions? To sueb yicissitude of hardl:' there and wholl) gont'. \\'-h: nonc but to open no more. Till all done. She done. Or left undone. Tenement and unreason. Na more unless to rest. In the outward and so-called visible. That daub. Quick again to the brim the old nausea and shut again. On her. Till she be whole. Or abort. Question answered.
The coffer. Empty after long nocturnal search. Nothing. Save in the end in a cranny of dust a scrap of paper. Jagged along one edge as if torn from a lliarr
On its yellowed face in liardv legililc ink two l(~tters ••L
followed by a numher. Tu 17. Or Th. Tu ur Th 17. Otherwise hlank. Otherwise (~mpt:.
Slw reemerges un her llack. Dead still. l':vening and night. D(~ad still on her I)ack t'vening and night. TIl<' l,e(1. Careful. A pallet? Hanll: if head as ill s('en when on her Imet's. Pravlng if she pra:s. Pab sll<' ha" on1\ to
grov<'1 d(~elwr. Or grovd elsewl1<'[('. Before tlw chair. LIL
Or the coff(~r. Or at tbe ('dge of the pastures WIth her head on the stunes. A pallet then flat on the floor. :\0 pillow. Hidd(~n from chin to foot uUller a lilaek coyer ing she ofr(~rs her faCt' alOl1<'. Alone! Face def('neekss evening and night. Quick the e:es. The 1l10UH'nt th('\ opt·n. Sucl'lenl: the\ are tlwn'. \othing haying stirn'd. One is (·nm'gh. Ch1<' staring ('\('. Gaping pupil thinl:
nimlwd with WUSl1<'1l lilue. \0 trac(' of hUl1lour. :\"Olll' an: mon'. L nsecing. A", if daz(~d \,\ \lhat s('('n jwhind the lids. The othn pluml,s its clark. TIH'1l op('ns in it,. ;
turn. Daz(,(l ill its tlUll.
Inconlin('nt the Yoid. TIl(' zenith. Ev('ning agam.
80
81
When not night it will be evening. Death again of deathless day. On the one hand embers. On the other
all woods? Ebony why not? Ebony boards. Black on
'. . ,i
black the brushing skirt. Stark the skeleton chair
)L
ashes. Day without end won and lost. Unseen.
On resumption the head is covered. No matter. No
matter now.
haps once was. When :-et a lass. Yet brunette. Skipping the nose at the call of the lips these no sooner broached are withdrawn. The slab having darkened with the
darkening sky. Black night henceforward. And at
GL
dawn an empt:- place. With no means' of knowing whether she has gone in or under cover of darkness her wa:-s agam.
White stones more plentiful ever: :-ear. As well sa: every- instant. In a fair wa:- if the:- persist to bur: all. First zone rather more extensive than at first sight ill seen and every veal' rather more. Of striking effect in
,•G
the light of the moon these millions of little sepulchres. But in her absence but cold comfort. From it then in the end to the second miscalled pastures. Leprous with white scars where the grass has receded from the
chalky soil. In contemplation of this erosion the e:e
70
71
1
fmds solace. EYer:-,dH'1'(' ,. ;lon(' i,. ; gaining. Whit('n(',. ;,. ;.
More anel more eH'n ,ear. ,\s ,,-dl say ('ven instant.
EY er"dwrp PYl'n instanl ,,-hitl'w's,,; is gaml1la.
•r
The t'W ,,-ill return to the scene of its betraval,. ;. On centennial leaH' from ,,-here tears freeze. Fre(~ again an instant to shed thl:'m scalding. On the blest tears once
G
sheel. While (~xultingat the ,,-hite heap of stone. Ever heaping for ,,-ant of better on itself. Which if it persist "ill gain th<' skies. TIl(-' moon. Vt'nus.
From the stones sIll:' steps down into the pastures. As from one tier of a circus to the next. A gap time will fill. For faster than the stones invade it the other ground upheaves its own. So far in silence. A silence time will break. This great silence evening and night. Then all along the verge the muffled thud of stone on stone. Of those spilling their excess on those emergent. Onh- now and then at first. Then at ever briefer inter vals. Till one continuous din. With none to hear. De creasing as the levels draw together to silence once again. Evening and night. In the meantime she is sud-
denly sitting with her feet in the pastures. Were it not for the empty hands on the way who knows to the tomb. Back from it then more likely. On the way back from the tomb. Frozen true to her wont she seems turned to stone. Face to the further confines the eve closes in vain to see. At last they appear an instant.
North where she passes them always. Shroud of radiant haze. Where to melt into paradise.
The long white hair stares in a fan. Above and about the impassive face. Stares as if shocked still by some ancient horror. Or by its continuance. Or by another. That leaves the face stone-cold. Silence at the eve of the scream. Which sa)-? III sa)-. Both. All three. Ques tion answered.
Seated on the stones she is seen from behind. From the waist up. Trunk black rectangle. Nape under frill of black lace. White half halo of hair. Face to the north. The tomb. E)-es on the horizon perhaps. Or closed to
see the headstone. The withered crocuses. Endless
evening. She lit aslant bv the last rays. Thev make no L•
72
I. ')
t
difference. None to the black of the cloth. None to the
white hair. It too dead still. In the still air. Voidlike
calm as alwa:-s. Evening and night. Suffice to watch the
grass. How motionless it droops. Till under the relent
less eye it shivers. With faintest shiver from its inner
most. Equall:- the hair. Rigidl:- horrent it shivers at
last for the eye about to abandon. And the old body o0
itself. When it seems of stone. Is it not in fact ashiver from head to foot? Let her but go and stand still b) the other stone. It white from afar in the pastures. And the e:-e go from one to the other. Back and forth. What calm then. And what storm. Beneath the weeds' mock calm.
Nat possible an! - longer except as figment. Not endurable. Nothing for it but to close the e:-e for good and see her. Her and the rest. Close it for good and all and see her to death. Unremittent. In the shack. Over the stones. In the pastures. The haze. At the tomb. And back. And the rest. For good and all. To death. Be shut of it all. On to the next. Next figment. Close it for good this filthv eve of flesh. What forbids? Careful.
Such--sncll fiasco that follY takes a hand. Such bits and scraps. Seen no matter how and said as seen. Dread of black. Of white. Of void. Let her vanish. And the rest. For good. And the sun. Last rays. And the
moon. And Yenus. :'-iothing left but black sks. \:I/hit('
earth. Or inverselY, No more sky or earth. Finished
high and 10\\. '\othing but lllack and ·white. EYen- LL.
where no matter where. But black. Void. Nothinfr l,ls('. Contemplate that. Not another word. Home at last. Genth frenth.
Panic past pass on. The hands. Seen from ahoY<'.
They rest on the pubis intertwined. Strident whitl',
Tl1('ir faintly leaden tinge killed by the black ground.
•L-•l,
Suspicion of lace at the wrists. To go \\-ith tIll' frill. The\ tighten then loosen their clasp. Slow systole diastole. And the body that scandal. While its sole hands in vie\\-. On its sale pubis. Dead still to he Surl', On the chair. After the spectacle. Slowh its spell un binding. On and on the:- keep. Tifrhtening and loosen
ing their clasp. Rhythm of a lalJOuring heart. Till \\hl'n almost despairt'd of genth part. Smldenh [Il'nth.
74
,. )
1
Spreading rise and in midair palms uppermost cOille
to the mira<T"? And where '\! Wll sIlt' halts'? Tht' ev,:, llis
~.
cerns afar a kind of stain. Finallv the steep roof wh"nc{' part of the fresh fall has slid. Ullller the low lowering sky the north is los1. Obliterated b\ the snow th"
twelve arc there. Invisibll~ WlTC sht' to raisl' ht'r ('\ She on th" contran immaculatl'1 \ black. 0l at having received a single flake. Nothing neelkcl now but for
them to start falling again \\-hich therefon' they do. L'- .
First one Ln- one here and tlwrt'. Then thicker and thicker plumb through till' still air. Slowh she disap pears.
Together with the trace of her stt'p::- and that of the distant roof. How fmel her wav home? Home!
to rest. Behold our hollows. Then after a moment as if
to hide the lines fall back pronating as the:- go and
light flat on head of thighs. Within an ace of the crotch.
It is now the left hand lacks its third finger. A swelling '- '-'
no doubt--a swelling no doubt of the knuckle between first and second phalanges preventing one panic day withdrawal of the ring. The kind called keeper. Still as stones the) clef) as stones do the e:-e. Do the:- as much as feel the clad flesh'? Does tIll' clad flesh fel'l them'? \Vill the) then never lJuiwr'? This night as sureclh not. For before they have-lwfore the eH~ has
time they mist. Who is to blaull' '? Or what? Thev? The eye'? The missing 1ing('r'? The kl'elwr'? The cry? What
)LL•
cn? All flve. All si:\. . And the res1. 1\. 11. ,\. II to blame. All.
Winter l'Hning in the pastures. TIll' snow has
ceased. Her stl'ps so light the:- bard: It'ave a trace.
Have bareh left having ceased. Just l'nough to ]w still • L '
visible. Adrift the snOl\. Whither in her head whill~ Ill'r fe"t stra\ tim::>? Hither and thit! ln too'? Or llllswlTvin<T
. ~
{'~:i.
Ie) II
Even as the sound.
homing
b:nl. Safe as
t he
sa \-in:z
is and
All clark in the cabin while she; ,\'hitens afar. Silence but for the imaginan murmur of flakes beating all the
'-. '
roof. And even now and thcn a real creak. H,~r com pany. Here without having to close the c:e sees her afar. Motionless in the snow under the snow. 'Ill(' but tonhook trembles from its nail as if a night like any
G•
other. Facing: the black curtain the chair e:\. lllJes ib
I
solitude. For \\ant of a fellow-table. Far from it in a
corner see suddenl:- an antique coffer. In its therefore
no lesser solitude. It perhaps that creaks. ~\nd in its
depths who knows the ke:-. The key to close. But this
night the chair. Its immovable air. Less than t h e
more than the empty seat the barred back is piteous.
Here if she eats here she sits to eat. The eye closes in
the dark and sees her in the end. With her right hand
L
dipped in the slop. So far so good. But before she can proceed she fades and disappears. Nothing now for the staring e:-e but the chair in its solitude.
One evening she was followed b:- a lamb. Reared for slaughter like the others it left them to follow her. In
L-
the present to conclude. All so by-gone. Slaughter apart it is not like the others. Hanging to the ground in mat-
as large as life she holds the edge of the bo\\l resting
L- L L L-L-L
on her knees. With her left the spoon dipped in the
slop. She waits. For it to cool perhaps. But no. Merel:
frozen again just as about to begin. At last in a twin
L. •L
movement full of grace she slowly' raises the bowl to
ward her lips while at the same time with equal slow
ness bowing her head to J' oin it. Having set out at the L- L
same instant they meet halfway and there come to rest. Fresh rigor before the 6. rst spoonful slobbered largely back into the slop. Others no happier till time to part lips and bowl and slowly- back with never a slip to their starting points. As smooth and even fro as to. Now again the rigid Memnon pose. With her right hand she holds the edge of the bowl. With her left the spoon
ted coils its fleece hides the little shanks. Rather than walk it seems to glide like a to:- in tow. It halts at the same instant as she. At the same instant as she straYs on. Stockstill as she it waits with head like hers extrava gantly bowed. Clash of black and white that far from
muting the last ra:-s amplify-. It is now her puniness leaps to the ey-e. Thanks it would seem to the Imd: creature next her. Brief paradox. For suddenly' to gether they move on. Hither and thither toward the
stones. There she turns and sits. Does she see the white body at her feet? Head haught now she gazes
•L-L
into emptiness. That profusion. Or with closed ey-es sees the tomb. The lamb goes no further. Alone night
78
79
fallen she makes for homC'. Home! _\s straight as were it to be seen.
\Vas it ('yer owr and done witb 'Iuestions? Dead the "'hole brood no sooner hatched. Long before. In the
L-
egg. Long lwfore. Oyer and done with answerinb(J. With
GL L-
not bein(J able. \,\'ith not being able not to want to C0
know. '-Vith not lwinf: able. No. Never. i\ dream. Ques tion ans\l-ered.
What remains for tlll: e:-e e"-posed to such condi tions? To sueb yicissitude of hardl:' there and wholl) gont'. \\'-h: nonc but to open no more. Till all done. She done. Or left undone. Tenement and unreason. Na more unless to rest. In the outward and so-called visible. That daub. Quick again to the brim the old nausea and shut again. On her. Till she be whole. Or abort. Question answered.
The coffer. Empty after long nocturnal search. Nothing. Save in the end in a cranny of dust a scrap of paper. Jagged along one edge as if torn from a lliarr
On its yellowed face in liardv legililc ink two l(~tters ••L
followed by a numher. Tu 17. Or Th. Tu ur Th 17. Otherwise hlank. Otherwise (~mpt:.
Slw reemerges un her llack. Dead still. l':vening and night. D(~ad still on her I)ack t'vening and night. TIl<' l,e(1. Careful. A pallet? Hanll: if head as ill s('en when on her Imet's. Pravlng if she pra:s. Pab sll<' ha" on1\ to
grov<'1 d(~elwr. Or grovd elsewl1<'[('. Before tlw chair. LIL
Or the coff(~r. Or at tbe ('dge of the pastures WIth her head on the stunes. A pallet then flat on the floor. :\0 pillow. Hidd(~n from chin to foot uUller a lilaek coyer ing she ofr(~rs her faCt' alOl1<'. Alone! Face def('neekss evening and night. Quick the e:es. The 1l10UH'nt th('\ opt·n. Sucl'lenl: the\ are tlwn'. \othing haying stirn'd. One is (·nm'gh. Ch1<' staring ('\('. Gaping pupil thinl:
nimlwd with WUSl1<'1l lilue. \0 trac(' of hUl1lour. :\"Olll' an: mon'. L nsecing. A", if daz(~d \,\ \lhat s('('n jwhind the lids. The othn pluml,s its clark. TIH'1l op('ns in it,. ;
turn. Daz(,(l ill its tlUll.
Inconlin('nt the Yoid. TIl(' zenith. Ev('ning agam.
80
81
When not night it will be evening. Death again of deathless day. On the one hand embers. On the other
all woods? Ebony why not? Ebony boards. Black on
'. . ,i
black the brushing skirt. Stark the skeleton chair
)L
ashes. Day without end won and lost. Unseen.
On resumption the head is covered. No matter. No
matter now.
