No More Learning

The Master admonishes them that they keep together at
Play, &c. 1. Of playing at Stool-ball: Of chusing
Partners. 2. Of playing at Bowls, the Orders of the
Bowling-Green. 3. Of playing at striking a Ball through
an Iron Ring. 4. Of Dancing, that they should not dance
presently after Dinner: Of playing at Leap-frog: Of
Running: Of Swimming. _


NICHOLAS, JEROME, COCLES, _the_ MASTER.

_Nic. _ I have had a great Mind a good While, and this fine Weather is a
great Invitation to go to Play.

_Jer. _ These indeed invite you, but the Master don't.

_Nic. _ We must get some Spokesman that may extort a Holiday from him.

_Jer. _ You did very well to say extort, for you may sooner wrest
_Hercules's_ Club out of his Hands than get a Play-day from him; but
Time was when Nobody lov'd Play better than he did.

_Nic. _ That is true, but he has forgot a great While ago since he was a
Boy himself; he is as ready and free at whipping as any Body, but as
sparing and backward at this as any Body in the World.

_Jer. _ We must pick out a Messenger that is not very bashful that won't
be presently dashed out of Countenance by his surly Words.

_Nic. _ Let who will go for me, I had rather go without Play than ask
him for it.

_Jer. _ There is Nobody fitter for this Business than _Cocles. _

_Nic. _ Nobody in the World, he has a good bold Face of his own, and
Tongue enough; and besides, he knows his Humour too.

_Jer. _ Go, _Cocles_, you will highly oblige us all.

_Coc. _ Well, I'll try; but if I do not succeed, do not lay the Fault on
your Spokesman.

_Jer. _ You promise well for it, I am out in my Opinion if you don't get
Leave. Go on Intreater, and return an Obtainer.

_Coc. _ I'll go, may _Mercury_ send me good Luck of my Errand. God save
you, Sir.

_Ma. _ What does this idle Pack want?

_Coc. _ Your Servant, Reverend Master.

_Ma. _ This is a treacherous Civility! I am well enough already. Tell me
what 'tis you came for.

_Coc. _ Your whole School beg a Play-day.

_Ma. _ You do nothing else but play, even without Leave.

_Coc. _ Your Wisdom knows that moderate Play quickens the Wit, as you
have taught us out of _Quintilian_.

_Ma. _ Very well, how well you can remember what's to your purpose? They
that labour hard, had need of some Relaxation: But you that study idly,
and play laboriously, had more need of a Curb, than a Snaffle.

_Coc. _ If any Thing has been wanting in Times past, we'll labour to make
it up by future Diligence.

_Ma. _ O rare Makers up! who will be Sureties for the performing this
Promise?

_Coc. _ I'll venture my Head upon it.

_Ma. _ Nay, rather venture your Tail. I know there is but little
Dependance upon your Word; but however, I'll try this Time what Credit
may be given to you; if you deceive me now, you shall never obtain any
Thing from me again. Let 'em play; but let them keep together in the
Field, don't let them go a tippling or worse Exercises, and see they
come Home betimes, before Sun set.

_Coc. _ We will, Sir, I have gotten Leave, but with much a do.

_Jer. _ O brave Lad! we all love you dearly.

_Coc. _ But we must be sure not to transgress our Orders, for if we do,
it will be all laid upon my Back; I have engaged for ye all, and if ye
do, I'll never be your Spokesman again.

_Jer. _ We'll take Care: But what Play do you like best?

_Coc. _ We'll talk of that when we come into the Fields.

* * * * *

I. _Of playing at Ball. _

_NICHOLAS_ and _JEROME. _

_Nic. _ No Play is better to exercise all Parts of the Body than
Stool-ball; but that's fitter for Winter than Summer.

_Jer. _ There is no Time of the Year with us, but what's fit to play in.

_Nic. _ We shall sweat less, if we play at Tennis.

_Jer. _ Let's let Nets alone to Fishermen; it's prettier to catch it in
our Hands.

_Nic. _ Well, come on, I don't much Matter; but how much shall we play
for?

_Nic. _ But I had rather spare my Corps than my Money.

_Jer. _ And I value my Corps more than my Money: We must play for
something, or we shall never play our best.

_Nic. _ You say true.

_Jer. _ Which Hand soever shall get the first three Games, shall pay the
sixth Part of a Groat to the other; but upon Condition that what's won
shall be spent among all the Company alike.

_Nic. _ Well, I like the Proposal; come done, let's chuse Hands; but we
are all so equally match'd, that it's no great Matter who and who's
together.

_Jer. _ You play a great Deal better than I.

_Nic. _ But for all that, you have the better Luck.

_Jer. _ Has Fortune anything to do at this Play?

_Nic. _ She has to do everywhere.

_Jer. _ Well, come let's toss up. O Boys, very well indeed. I have got
the Partners I would have.

_Nic. _ And we like our Partners very well.

_Jer. _ Come on, now for't, he that will win, must look to his Game. Let
every one stand to his Place bravely. Do you stand behind me ready to
catch the Ball, if it goes beyond me; do you mind there, and beat it
back when it comes from our Adversaries.

_Nic. _ I'll warrant ye, I'll hit it if it comes near me.

_Jer. _ Go on and prosper, throw up the Ball upon the House. He that
throws and do's not speak first shall lose his Cast.

_Nic. _ Well, take it then.

_Jer. _ Do you toss it; if you throw it beyond the Bounds, or short, or
over the House, it shall go for nothing, and we won't be cheated: And
truly you throw nastily. As you toss it, I'll give it you again; I'll
give you _a Rowland for an Oliver_; but it is better to play fairly and
honestly.

_Nic. _ It is best at Diversion, to beat by fair Play.

_Jer. _ It is so, and in War too; these Arts have each their respective
Laws: There are some Arts that are very unfair ones.

_Nic. _ I believe so too, and more than seven too. Mark the Bounds with a
Shell, or Brick-bat, or with your Hat if you will.

_Jer. _ I'd rather do it with yours.

_Nic. _ Take the Ball again.

_Jer. _ Throw it; score it up.

_Nic. _ We have two good wide Goals.

_Jer. _ Pretty wide, but they are not out of Reach.

_Nic. _ They may be reach'd if no Body hinders it.

_Jer. _ O brave, I have gone beyond the first Goal. We are fifteen. Play
stoutly, we had got this too, if you had stood in your Place. Well, now
we are equal.

_Nic. _ But you shan't be so long. Well, we are thirty; we are forty
five.

_Jer. _ What, Sesterces?

_Nic. _ No.

_Jer. _ What then?

_Nic. _ Numbers.

_Jer. _ What signifies Numbers, if you have nothing to pay?

_Nic. _ We have gotten this Game.

_Jer. _ You are a little too hasty; _you reckon your Chickens before they
are hatch'd_. I have seen those lose the Game that have had so many for
Love. War and Play is a meer Lottery. We have got thirty, now we are
equal again.

_Nic. _ This is the Game Stroke. O brave! we have got the better of you.

_Jer. _ Well, but you shan't have it long; did I not say so? We are
equally fortunate.

_Nic. _ Fortune inclines first to one side, and then to t'other, as if
she could not tell which to give the Victory to. Fortune, be but on our
Side, and we'll help thee to a Husband. O rare! She has answer'd her
Desire, we have got this Game, set it up, that we mayn't forget.

_Jer. _ It is almost Night, and we have play'd enough, we had better
leave off, too much of one Thing is good for nothing, let us reckon our
Winnings.

_Nic. _ We have won three Groats, and you have won two; then there is one
to be spent. But who must pay for the Balls?

_Jer. _ All alike, every one his Part. For there is so little won, we
can't take any Thing from that.

* * * * *

_2. BOWL PLAYING. _

_ADOLPHUS, BERNARDUS_, the Arbitrators.

_Adol. _ You have been often bragging what a mighty Gamester you were at
Bowls. Come now, I have a Mind to try what a one you are.

_Ber. _ I'll answer you, if you have a Mind to that Sport.
Now you'll
find according to the Proverb; _You have met with your Match. _

_Adol. _ Well, and you shall find I am a Match for you too.

_Ber. _ Shall we play single Hands or double Hands?

_Adol. _ I had rather play single, that another may not come in with me
for a Share of the Victory.

_Ber. _ And I had rather have it so too, that the Victory may be entirely
my own.

_Adol. _ They shall look on, and be Judges.

_Ber. _ I take you up; But what shall he that beats get, or he that is
beaten lose?

_Adol. _ What if he that beats shall have a Piece of his Ear cut off.

_Ber. _ Nay, rather let one of his Stones be cut out. It is a mean Thing
to play for Money; you are a _Frenchman_, and I a _German_, we'll both
play for the Honour of his Country.

_Adol. _ If I shall beat you, you shall cry out thrice, let _France_
flourish; If I shall be beat (which I hope I shan't) I'll in the same
Words celebrate your _Germany_.

_Ber. _ Well, a Match. Now for good Luck; since two great Nations are at
Stake in this Game, let the Bowls be both alike.

_Adol. _ Do you see that Stone that lies by the Port there.

_Ber. _ Yes I do.

_Adol. _ That shall be the Jack.

_Ber. _ Very well, let it be so; but I say let the Bowls be alike.

_Adol. _ They are as like as two Peas. Take which you please, it's all
one to me.

_Ber. _ Bowl away.

_Adol. _ Hey-day, you whirl your Bowl as if your Arm was a Sling.

_Ber. _ You have bit your Lip, and whirled your Bowl long enough: Come
bowl away. A strong Bowl indeed, but I am best.

_Adol. _ If it had not been for that mischievous Bit of a Brick-bat
there, that lay in my Way, I had beat you off.

_Ber. _ Stand fair.

_Adol. _ I won't cheat: I intend to beat you, by Art, and not to cheat
ye, since we contend for the Prize of Honour: Rub, rub.

_Ber. _ A great Cast in Troth.

_Adol. _ Nay, don't laugh before you've won. We are equal yet.

_Ber. _ This is who shall: He that first hits the Jack is up. I have beat
you, sing.

_Adol. _ Stay, you should have said how many you'd make up, for my Hand
is not come in yet.

_Ber. _ Judgment, Gentlemen.

_Arbitr. _ 3.

_Adol. _ Very well.

_Ber. _ Well, what do you say now? Are you beat or no?

_Adol. _ You have had better Luck than I, but yet I won't vail to you, as
to Strength and Art; I'll stand to what the Company says.

_Arb. _ The _German_ has beat, and the Victory is the more glorious, that
he has beat so good a Gamester.

_Ber. _ Now Cock, crow.

_Adol. _ I am hoarse.

_Ber. _ That's no new Thing to Cocks; but if you can't crow like an old
Cock, crow like a Cockeril.

_Adol. _ Let _Germany_ flourish thrice.

_Ber. _ You ought to have said so thrice. I am a-dry; let us drink
somewhere, I'll make an end of the Song there.

_Adol. _ I won't stand upon that, if the Company likes it.

_Arb. _ That will be the best, the Cock will crow clearer when his Throat
is gargled.

* * * * *

_3. The Play of striking a Ball through an Iron Ring.

GASPAR, ERASMUS.

Gas. _ Come, let's begin, _Marcolphus_ shall come in, in the Losers
Place.

_Er. _ But what shall we play for?

_Gas. _ He that is beat shall make and repeat _extempore_ a Distich, in
Praise of him that beat him.

_Er. _ With all my Heart.

_Gas. _ Shall we toss up who shall go first?

_Er. _ Do you go first if you will, I had rather go last.

_Gas. _ You have the better of me, because you know the Ground.

_Er. _ You're upon your own Ground.

_Gas. _ Indeed I am better acquainted with the Ground, than I am with my
Books; but that's but a small Commendation.

_Er. _ You that are so good a Gamester ought to give me Odds.

_Gas. _ Nay, you should rather give me Odds; but there's no great Honour
in getting a Victory, when Odds is taken: He only can properly be said
to get the Game, that gets it by his own Art; we are as well match'd as
can be.

_Er. _ Yours is a better Ball than mine.

_Gas. _ And yours is beyond me.

_Er. _ Play fair, without cheating and cozening.

_Gas. _ You shall say you have had to do with a fair Gamester.

_Er. _ But I would first know the Orders of the Bowling-alley.

_Gas. _ We make 4 up; whoever bowls beyond this Line it goes for nothing;
if you can go beyond those other Bounds, do it fairly and welcome:
Whoever hits a Bowl out of his Place loses his Cast.

_Er. _ I understand these Things.

_Gas. _ I have shut you out.

_Er. _ But I'll give you a Remove.

_Gas. _ If you do that I'll give you the Game.

_Er. _ Will you upon your Word?

_Gas. _ Yes, upon my Word: You have no other Way for it but to bank your
Bowl so as to make it rebound on mine.

_Er. _ I'll try: Well, what say you now Friend? Are not you beaten away?
(Have I not struck you away? )

_Gas. _ I am, I confess it; I wish you were but as wise as you are lucky;
you can scarce do so once in a hundred Times.

_Er. _ I'll lay you, if you will, that I do it once in three Times. But
come pay me what I have won.

_Gas. _ What's that?

_Er. _ Why, a Distich.

_Gas. _ Well, I'll pay it now.

_Er. _ And an extempore one too. Why do you bite your Nails?

_Gas. _ I have it.

_Er. _ Recite it out.

_Gas. _ As loud as you will.

_Young Standers-by, dap ye the Conqueror brave,
Who me has beat, is the more learned Knave_.

Han't you a Distich now?

_Er. _ I have, and I'll give you as good as you bring.

* * * * *

4. _Leaping. _

VINCENT, LAURENCE.

_Vi. _ Have you a Mind to jump with me?

_Lau. _ That Play is not good presently after Dinner.

_Vi. _ Why so?

_Lau. _ Because that a Fulness of Belly makes the Body heavy.

_Vi. _ Not very much to those that live upon Scholars Commons, for these
oftentimes are ready for a Supper before they have done Dinner.

_Lau. _ What Sort of leaping is it that you like best?

_Vi. _ Let us first begin with that which is the plainest, as that of
Grasshoppers; or Leap-frog, if you like that better, both Feet at once,
and close to one another; and when we have play'd enough at this, then
we'll try other Sorts.

_Lau. _ I'll play at any Sort, where there is no Danger of breaking ones
Legs; I have no Mind to make Work for the Surgeon.

_Vi. _ What if we should play at hopping?

_Lau. _ That the Ghosts play, I am not for that.

_Vi. _ It's the cleverest Way to leap with a Pole.

_Lau. _ Running is a more noble Exercise; for _Æneas_ in _Virgil_
proposed this Exercise.

_Vi. _ Very true, and he also propos'd the righting with Whirly-bats too,
and I don't like that Sport.

_Lau. _ Mark the Course, let this be the Starting-place, and yonder Oak
the Goal.

_Vi. _ I wish _Æneas_ was here, that he might propose what should be the
Conqueror's Prize.

_Lau. _ Glory is a Reward sufficient for Victory.

_Vi. _ You should rather give a Reward to him that is beat, to comfort
him.

_Lau. _ Then let the Victor's Reward be to go into the Town crowned with
a Bur.