No More Learning

HAMM:
Tramp! Tramp!
CLOV:
I must have put on my boots.
HAMM:
Your slippers were hurting you?
(Pause. )
CLOV:
I'll leave you.
HAMM:
No!
CLOV:
What is there to keep me here?
HAMM:
The dialogue.
(Pause. )
I've got on with my story.
(Pause. )
I've got on with it well.
(Pause. Irritably. )
Ask me where I've got to.
CLOV:
Oh, by the way, your story?
HAMM (surprised):
What story?
CLOV:
The one you've been telling yourself all your days.
HAMM:
Ah you mean my chronicle?
CLOV:
That's the one.
(Pause. )
HAMM (angrily):
Keep going, can't you, keep going!
CLOV:
You've got on with it, I hope.
HAMM (modestly):
Oh not very far, not very far.
(He sighs. )
There are days like that, one isn't inspired.
(Pause. )
Nothing you can do about it, just wait for it to come.
(Pause. )
No forcing, no forcing, it's fatal.
(Pause. )
I've got on with it a little all the same.
(Pause. )
Technique, you know.
(Pause. Irritably. )
I say I've got on with it a little all the same.
CLOV (admiringly):
Well I never! In spite of everything you were able to get on with it!
HAMM (modestly):
Oh not very far, you know, not very far, but nevertheless, better than nothing. CLOV:
Better than nothing! Is it possible?
HAMM:
I'll tell you how it goes. He comes crawling on his belly---
CLOV:
Who?
HAMM:
What?
CLOV:
Who do you mean, he?
HAMM:
Who do I mean! Yet another.
CLOV:
Ah him. I wasn't sure.
HAMM:
Crawling on his belly, whining for bread for his brat. He's offered a job as gardener. Before-- -
(Clov bursts out laughing. )
What is there so funny about that?
CLOV:
A job as gardener!
HAMM:
Is that what tickles you?
CLOV:
It must be that.
HAMM:
It wouldn't be the bread?
CLOV:
Or the brat.
(Pause. )
HAMM:
The whole thing is comical, I grant you that. What about having a good guffaw, the two of us together?
CLOV (after reflection):
I couldn't guffaw again today.
HAMM (after reflection):
Nor I.
(Pause. )
I continue then. Before accepting with gratitude he asks if he may have his little boy with him.
CLOV:
What age?
HAMM:
Oh tiny.
CLOV:
He would have climbed the trees.
HAMM:
All the little odd jobs.
CLOV:
And then he would have grown up.
HAMM:
Very likely.
(Pause. )
CLOV:
Keep going, can't you, keep going?
HAMM:
That's all. I stopped there.
(Pause. )
CLOV:
Do you see how it goes on?
HAMM:
More or less.
CLOV:
Will it not soon be the end? HAMM:
I'm afraid it will.
CLOV:
Pah! You'll make up another. HAMM:
I don't know.
(Pause. )
I feel rather drained.
(Pause. )
The prolonged creative effort.
(Pause. )
If I could drag myself down to the sea! I'd make a pillow of sand for my head and the tide would come.
CLOV:
There's no more tide.
(Pause. )
HAMM:
Go and see is she dead.
(Clov goes to bins, raises the lid of Nell's, stoops, looks into it. Pause. )
CLOV:
Looks like it.
(He closes the lid, straightens up. Hamm raises his toque. Pause. He puts it on again. ) HAMM (with his hand to his toque):
And Nagg?
(Clov raises lid of Nagg's bin, stoops, looks into it. Pause. )
CLOV:
Doesn't look like it.
(He closes the lid, straightens up. )
HAMM (letting go his toque):
What's he doing?
(Clov raises lid of Nagg's bin, stoops, looks into it. Pause. )
CLOV:
He's crying.
(He closes lid, straightens up. )
HAMM:
Then he's living.
(Pause. )
Did you ever have an instant of happiness?
CLOV:
Not to my knowledge.
(Pause. )
HAMM:
Bring me under the window.
(Clov goes towards chair. )
I want to feel the light on my face.
(Clov pushes chair. )
Do you remember, in the beginning, when you took me for a turn? You used to hold the chair too high. At every step you nearly tipped me out.
(With senile quaver. )
Ah great fun, we had, the two of us, great fun.
(Gloomily. )
And then we got into the way of it.
(Clov stops the chair under window right. )
There already?
(Pause. He tilts back his head. )
Is it light?
CLOV:
It isn't dark.
HAMM (angrily):
I'm asking you is it light? CLOV:
Yes.
(Pause. )
HAMM:
The curtain isn't closed?
CLOV:
No.
HAMM:
What window is it?
CLOV:
The earth.
HAMM:
I knew it!
(Angrily. )
But there's no light there! The other!
(Clov pushes chair towards window left. )
The earth!
(Clov stops the chair under window left. Hamm tilts back his head. ) That's what I call light!
(Pause. )
Feels like a ray of sunshine.
(Pause. )
No?
CLOV:
No.
HAMM:
It isn't a ray of sunshine I feel on my face?
CLOV:
No.
(Pause. )
HAMM:
Am I very white?
(Pause. Angrily. )
I'm asking you am I very white?
CLOV:
Not more so than usual.
(Pause. )
HAMM:
Open the window.
CLOV:
What for?
HAMM:
I want to hear the sea.
CLOV:
You wouldn't hear it.
HAMM:
Even if you opened the window?
CLOV:
No.
HAMM:
Than it's not worth while opening it?
CLOV:
No.
HAMM (violently):
Than open it!
(Clov gets up on the ladder, opens the window. Pause. )
Have you opened it?
CLOV:
Yes.
(Pause. )
HAMM:
You swear you've opened it?
CLOV:
Yes.
(Pause. )
HAMM:
Well. . . !
(Pause. )
It must be very calm.
(Pause. Violently. )
I'm asking you is it very calm!
CLOV:
Yes.
HAMM:
It's because there are no more navigators.
(Pause. )
You haven't much conversation all of a sudden. Do you not feel well? CLOV:
I'm cold.
HAMM:
What month are we?
(Pause. )
Close the window, we're going back.
(Clov closes the window, gets down, pushes the chair back to its place, remains standing behind it, head bowed. )
Don't stand there, you give me the shivers!
(Clov returns to his place beside the chair. )
Father!
(Pause. Louder. )
Father!
(Pause. )
Go and see did he hear me.
(Clov goes to Nagg's bin, raises the lid, stoops. Unintelligible words. Clov straightens up. )
CLOV:
Yes.
HAMM:
Both times?
(Clov stoops. As before. ) CLOV:
Once only.
HAMM:
The first time or the second?
(Clov stoops. As before. )
CLOV:
He doesn't know.
HAMM:
It must have been the second.
CLOV:
We'll never know.
(He closes lid. )
HAMM:
Is he still crying?
CLOV:
No.
HAMM:
The dead go fast.
(Pause. )
What's he doing?
CLOV:
Sucking his biscuit.
HAMM:
Life goes on.
(Clov returns to his place beside the chair. ) Give me the rug, I'm freezing.
CLOV:
There are no more rugs.
(Pause. )
HAMM:
Kiss me.
(Pause. )
Will you not kiss me? CLOV:
No.
HAMM:
On the forehead.
CLOV:
I won't kiss you anywhere.
(Pause. )
HAMM (holding out his hand):
Give me your hand at least.
(Pause. )
Will you not give me your hand?
CLOV:
I won't touch you.
(Pause. )
HAMM:
Give me the dog.
(Clov looks round for the dog. )
No!
CLOV:
Do you not want your dog?
HAMM:
No.
CLOV:
Then I'll leave you.
HAMM (head bowed, absently):
That's right.
(Clov goes to door, turns. )
CLOV:
If I don't kill that rat he'll die.
HAMM (as before):
That's right.
(Exit Clov. Pause. )
Me to play.
(He takes out his handkerchief, unfolds it, holds it spread out before him. )
We're getting on.
(Pause. )
You weep, and weep, for nothing, so as not to laugh, and little by little. . . you begin to grieve. (He folds the handkerchief, puts it back in his pocket, raises his head. )
All those I might have helped.
(Pause. )
Helped!
(Pause. )
Saved.
(Pause. )
Saved!
(Pause. )
The place was crawling with them
(Pause. Violently. )
Use your head, can't you, use your head, you're on earth, there's no cure for that!
(Pause. )
Get out of here and love one another! Lick your neighbor as yourself!
(Pause. Calmer. )
When it wasn't bread they wanted it was crumpets.
(Pause. Violently. )
Out of my sight and back to your petting parties!
(Pause. )
All that, all that!
(Pause. )
Not even a real dog!
(Calmer. )
The end is in the beginning and yet you go on.
(Pause. )
Perhaps I could go on with my story, end it and begin another.
(Pause. )
Perhaps I could throw myself out on the floor.
(He pushes himself painfully off his seat, falls back again. )
Dig my nails into the cracks and drag myself forward with my fingers.
(Pause. )
It will be the end and there I'll be, wondering what can have brought it on and wondering what can have. . .
(he hesitates)
. . . why it was so long coming.
(Pause. )
There I'll be, in the old shelter, alone against the silence and. . .
(he hesitates)
. . . the stillness. If I can hold my peace, and sit quiet, it will be all over with sound, and motion, all over and done with.
(Pause. )
I'll have called my father and I'll have called my. . .
(he hesitates)
. . . my son. And even twice, or three times, in case they shouldn't have heard me, the first time, or the second.
(Pause. )
I'll say to myself, He'll come back.
(Pause. )
And then?
(Pause. )
And then?
(Pause. )
He couldn't, He has gone too far.
(Pause. )
And then?
(Pause. Very agitated. )
All kinds of fantasies! That I'm being watched! A rat! Steps! Breath held and then. . .
(He breathes out. )
Then babble, babble, words, like the solitary child who turns himself into children, two, three, so as to be together, and whisper together, in the dark.
(Pause. )
Moment upon moment, pattering down, like the millet grains of. . .
(he hesitates)
. . . that old Greek, and all life long you wait for that to mount up to a life.
(Pause. He opens his mouth to continue, renounces. )
Ah let's get it over!
(He whistles. Enter Clov with alarm-clock. He halts beside the chair. )
What? Neither gone nor dead? CLOV:
In spirit only.
HAMM:
Which?
CLOV:
Both.
HAMM:
Gone from me you'd be dead. CLOV:
And vice versa.
HAMM:
Outside of here it's death! (Pause. )
And the rat?
CLOV:
He's got away.
HAMM:
He can't go far.
(Pause. Anxious. )
Eh?
CLOV:
He doesn't need to go far. (Pause. )
HAMM:
Is it not time for my pain-killer? CLOV:
Yes.
HAMM:
Ah! At last! Give it to me! Quick! (Pause. )
CLOV:
There's no more pain-killer. (Pause. )
HAMM (appalled):
Good. . . !
(Pause. )
No more pain-killer!
CLOV:
No more pain-killer. You'll never get any more pain-killer.
(Pause. )
HAMM:
But the little round box. It was full!
CLOV:
Yes. But now it's empty.
(Pause.