No More Learning

I'd join him. I don't love you! How should I? Weep away. As far as I
can see, it will be your chief diversion hereafter; unless Linton make
amends for other losses: and your provident parent appears to fancy he
may. His letters of advice and consolation entertained me vastly. In
his last he recommended my jewel to be careful of his; and kind to her
when he got her. Careful and kind--that's paternal. But Linton requires
his whole stock of care and kindness for himself. Linton can play the
little tyrant well. He'll undertake to torture any number of cats, if
their teeth be drawn and their claws pared. You'll be able to tell his
uncle fine tales of his _kindness_, when you get home again, I assure
you. '

'You're right there! ' I said; 'explain your son's character. Show his
resemblance to yourself: and then, I hope, Miss Cathy will think twice
before she takes the cockatrice! '

'I don't much mind speaking of his amiable qualities now,' he answered;
'because she must either accept him or remain a prisoner, and you along
with her, till your master dies. I can detain you both, quite concealed,
here. If you doubt, encourage her to retract her word, and you'll have
an opportunity of judging! '

'I'll not retract my word,' said Catherine. 'I'll marry him within this
hour, if I may go to Thrushcross Grange afterwards. Mr. Heathcliff,
you're a cruel man, but you're not a fiend; and you won't, from _mere_
malice, destroy irrevocably all my happiness. If papa thought I had left
him on purpose, and if he died before I returned, could I bear to live?
I've given over crying: but I'm going to kneel here, at your knee; and
I'll not get up, and I'll not take my eyes from your face till you look
back at me! No, don't turn away! _do look_! you'll see nothing to
provoke you. I don't hate you. I'm not angry that you struck me. Have
you never loved _anybody_ in all your life, uncle? _never_? Ah! you must
look once. I'm so wretched, you can't help being sorry and pitying me. '

'Keep your eft's fingers off; and move, or I'll kick you! ' cried
Heathcliff, brutally repulsing her. 'I'd rather be hugged by a snake.
How the devil can you dream of fawning on me? I _detest_ you! '

He shrugged his shoulders: shook himself, indeed, as if his flesh crept
with aversion; and thrust back his chair; while I got up, and opened my
mouth, to commence a downright torrent of abuse. But I was rendered dumb
in the middle of the first sentence, by a threat that I should be shown
into a room by myself the very next syllable I uttered. It was growing
dark--we heard a sound of voices at the garden-gate. Our host hurried
out instantly: _he_ had his wits about him; _we_ had not. There was a
talk of two or three minutes, and he returned alone.

'I thought it had been your cousin Hareton,' I observed to Catherine. 'I
wish he would arrive! Who knows but he might take our part? '

'It was three servants sent to seek you from the Grange,' said
Heathcliff, overhearing me. 'You should have opened a lattice and called
out: but I could swear that chit is glad you didn't. She's glad to be
obliged to stay, I'm certain. '

At learning the chance we had missed, we both gave vent to our grief
without control; and he allowed us to wail on till nine o'clock. Then he
bid us go upstairs, through the kitchen, to Zillah's chamber; and I
whispered my companion to obey: perhaps we might contrive to get through
the window there, or into a garret, and out by its skylight. The window,
however, was narrow, like those below, and the garret trap was safe from
our attempts; for we were fastened in as before. We neither of us lay
down: Catherine took her station by the lattice, and watched anxiously
for morning; a deep sigh being the only answer I could obtain to my
frequent entreaties that she would try to rest. I seated myself in a
chair, and rocked to and fro, passing harsh judgment on my many
derelictions of duty; from which, it struck me then, all the misfortunes
of my employers sprang. It was not the case, in reality, I am aware; but
it was, in my imagination, that dismal night; and I thought Heathcliff
himself less guilty than I.

At seven o'clock he came, and inquired if Miss Linton had risen. She ran
to the door immediately, and answered, 'Yes. ' 'Here, then,' he said,
opening it, and pulling her out. I rose to follow, but he turned the
lock again. I demanded my release.

'Be patient,' he replied; 'I'll send up your breakfast in a while. '

I thumped on the panels, and rattled the latch angrily and Catherine
asked why I was still shut up? He answered, I must try to endure it
another hour, and they went away. I endured it two or three hours; at
length, I heard a footstep: not Heathcliff's.

'I've brought you something to eat,' said a voice; 'oppen t' door! '

Complying eagerly, I beheld Hareton, laden with food enough to last me
all day.

'Tak' it,' he added, thrusting the tray into my hand.

'Stay one minute,' I began.

'Nay,' cried he, and retired, regardless of any prayers I could pour
forth to detain him.

And there I remained enclosed the whole day, and the whole of the next
night; and another, and another. Five nights and four days I remained,
altogether, seeing nobody but Hareton once every morning; and he was a
model of a jailor: surly, and dumb, and deaf to every attempt at moving
his sense of justice or compassion.




CHAPTER XXVIII


On the fifth morning, or rather afternoon, a different step
approached--lighter and shorter; and, this time, the person entered the
room. It was Zillah; donned in her scarlet shawl, with a black silk
bonnet on her head, and a willow-basket swung to her arm.

'Eh, dear! Mrs. Dean! ' she exclaimed. 'Well! there is a talk about you
at Gimmerton. I never thought but you were sunk in the Blackhorse marsh,
and missy with you, till master told me you'd been found, and he'd lodged
you here! What! and you must have got on an island, sure? And how long
were you in the hole? Did master save you, Mrs. Dean? But you're not so
thin--you've not been so poorly, have you? '

'Your master is a true scoundrel! ' I replied. 'But he shall answer for
it. He needn't have raised that tale: it shall all be laid bare! '

'What do you mean? ' asked Zillah. 'It's not his tale: they tell that in
the village--about your being lost in the marsh; and I calls to Earnshaw,
when I come in--"Eh, they's queer things, Mr. Hareton, happened since I
went off. It's a sad pity of that likely young lass, and cant Nelly
Dean. " He stared. I thought he had not heard aught, so I told him the
rumour. The master listened, and he just smiled to himself, and said,
"If they have been in the marsh, they are out now, Zillah. Nelly Dean is
lodged, at this minute, in your room. You can tell her to flit, when you
go up; here is the key. The bog-water got into her head, and she would
have run home quite flighty; but I fixed her till she came round to her
senses. You can bid her go to the Grange at once, if she be able, and
carry a message from me, that her young lady will follow in time to
attend the squire's funeral. "'

'Mr. Edgar is not dead? ' I gasped. 'Oh! Zillah, Zillah! '

'No, no; sit you down, my good mistress,' she replied; 'you're right
sickly yet. He's not dead; Doctor Kenneth thinks he may last another
day. I met him on the road and asked. '

Instead of sitting down, I snatched my outdoor things, and hastened
below, for the way was free. On entering the house, I looked about for
some one to give information of Catherine. The place was filled with
sunshine, and the door stood wide open; but nobody seemed at hand. As I
hesitated whether to go off at once, or return and seek my mistress, a
slight cough drew my attention to the hearth. Linton lay on the settle,
sole tenant, sucking a stick of sugar-candy, and pursuing my movements
with apathetic eyes. 'Where is Miss Catherine? ' I demanded sternly,
supposing I could frighten him into giving intelligence, by catching him
thus, alone. He sucked on like an innocent.

'Is she gone? ' I said.

'No,' he replied; 'she's upstairs: she's not to go; we won't let her. '

'You won't let her, little idiot! ' I exclaimed. 'Direct me to her room
immediately, or I'll make you sing out sharply. '

'Papa would make you sing out, if you attempted to get there,' he
answered. 'He says I'm not to be soft with Catherine: she's my wife, and
it's shameful that she should wish to leave me. He says she hates me and
wants me to die, that she may have my money; but she shan't have it: and
she shan't go home! She never shall! --she may cry, and be sick as much
as she pleases! '

He resumed his former occupation, closing his lids, as if he meant to
drop asleep.

'Master Heathcliff,' I resumed, 'have you forgotten all Catherine's
kindness to you last winter, when you affirmed you loved her, and when
she brought you books and sung you songs, and came many a time through
wind and snow to see you? She wept to miss one evening, because you
would be disappointed; and you felt then that she was a hundred times too
good to you: and now you believe the lies your father tells, though you
know he detests you both. And you join him against her. That's fine
gratitude, is it not? '

The corner of Linton's mouth fell, and he took the sugar-candy from his
lips.

'Did she come to Wuthering Heights because she hated you? ' I continued.
'Think for yourself! As to your money, she does not even know that you
will have any. And you say she's sick; and yet you leave her alone, up
there in a strange house! You who have felt what it is to be so
neglected! You could pity your own sufferings; and she pitied them, too;
but you won't pity hers! I shed tears, Master Heathcliff, you see--an
elderly woman, and a servant merely--and you, after pretending such
affection, and having reason to worship her almost, store every tear you
have for yourself, and lie there quite at ease. Ah! you're a heartless,
selfish boy! '

'I can't stay with her,' he answered crossly. 'I'll not stay by myself.
She cries so I can't bear it. And she won't give over, though I say I'll
call my father. I did call him once, and he threatened to strangle her
if she was not quiet; but she began again the instant he left the room,
moaning and grieving all night long, though I screamed for vexation that
I couldn't sleep. '

'Is Mr. Heathcliff out? ' I inquired, perceiving that the wretched
creature had no power to sympathize with his cousin's mental tortures.

'He's in the court,' he replied, 'talking to Doctor Kenneth; who says
uncle is dying, truly, at last. I'm glad, for I shall be master of the
Grange after him. Catherine always spoke of it as her house. It isn't
hers! It's mine: papa says everything she has is mine. All her nice
books are mine; she offered to give me them, and her pretty birds, and
her pony Minny, if I would get the key of our room, and let her out; but
I told her she had nothing to give, they were all, all mine. And then
she cried, and took a little picture from her neck, and said I should
have that; two pictures in a gold case, on one side her mother, and on
the other uncle, when they were young. That was yesterday--I said they
were mine, too; and tried to get them from her. The spiteful thing
wouldn't let me: she pushed me off, and hurt me. I shrieked out--that
frightens her--she heard papa coming, and she broke the hinges and
divided the case, and gave me her mother's portrait; the other she
attempted to hide: but papa asked what was the matter, and I explained
it. He took the one I had away, and ordered her to resign hers to me;
she refused, and he--he struck her down, and wrenched it off the chain,
and crushed it with his foot. '

'And were you pleased to see her struck? ' I asked: having my designs in
encouraging his talk.

'I winked,' he answered: 'I wink to see my father strike a dog or a
horse, he does it so hard. Yet I was glad at first--she deserved
punishing for pushing me: but when papa was gone, she made me come to the
window and showed me her cheek cut on the inside, against her teeth, and
her mouth filling with blood; and then she gathered up the bits of the
picture, and went and sat down with her face to the wall, and she has
never spoken to me since: and I sometimes think she can't speak for pain.
I don't like to think so; but she's a naughty thing for crying
continually; and she looks so pale and wild, I'm afraid of her. '

'And you can get the key if you choose? ' I said.

'Yes, when I am up-stairs,' he answered; 'but I can't walk up-stairs
now. '

'In what apartment is it? ' I asked.

'Oh,' he cried, 'I shan't tell _you_ where it is. It is our secret.
Nobody, neither Hareton nor Zillah, is to know. There! you've tired
me--go away, go away! ' And he turned his face on to his arm, and shut
his eyes again.

I considered it best to depart without seeing Mr. Heathcliff, and bring a
rescue for my young lady from the Grange. On reaching it, the
astonishment of my fellow-servants to see me, and their joy also, was
intense; and when they heard that their little mistress was safe, two or
three were about to hurry up and shout the news at Mr. Edgar's door: but
I bespoke the announcement of it myself. How changed I found him, even
in those few days! He lay an image of sadness and resignation awaiting
his death. Very young he looked: though his actual age was thirty-nine,
one would have called him ten years younger, at least. He thought of
Catherine; for he murmured her name. I touched his hand, and spoke.

'Catherine is coming, dear master! ' I whispered; 'she is alive and well;
and will be here, I hope, to-night. '

I trembled at the first effects of this intelligence: he half rose up,
looked eagerly round the apartment, and then sank back in a swoon. As
soon as he recovered, I related our compulsory visit, and detention at
the Heights. I said Heathcliff forced me to go in: which was not quite
true. I uttered as little as possible against Linton; nor did I describe
all his father's brutal conduct--my intentions being to add no
bitterness, if I could help it, to his already over-flowing cup.

He divined that one of his enemy's purposes was to secure the personal
property, as well as the estate, to his son: or rather himself; yet why
he did not wait till his decease was a puzzle to my master, because
ignorant how nearly he and his nephew would quit the world together.
However, he felt that his will had better be altered: instead of leaving
Catherine's fortune at her own disposal, he determined to put it in the
hands of trustees for her use during life, and for her children, if she
had any, after her. By that means, it could not fall to Mr. Heathcliff
should Linton die.
Having received his orders, I despatched a man to fetch the attorney, and
four more, provided with serviceable weapons, to demand my young lady of
her jailor. Both parties were delayed very late. The single servant
returned first. He said Mr. Green, the lawyer, was out when he arrived
at his house, and he had to wait two hours for his re-entrance; and then
Mr. Green told him he had a little business in the village that must be
done; but he would be at Thrushcross Grange before morning. The four men
came back unaccompanied also. They brought word that Catherine was ill:
too ill to quit her room; and Heathcliff would not suffer them to see
her. I scolded the stupid fellows well for listening to that tale, which
I would not carry to my master; resolving to take a whole bevy up to the
Heights, at day-light, and storm it literally, unless the prisoner were
quietly surrendered to us. Her father _shall_ see her, I vowed, and
vowed again, if that devil be killed on his own doorstones in trying to
prevent it!

Happily, I was spared the journey and the trouble. I had gone
down-stairs at three o'clock to fetch a jug of water; and was passing
through the hall with it in my hand, when a sharp knock at the front door
made me jump. 'Oh! it is Green,' I said, recollecting myself--'only
Green,' and I went on, intending to send somebody else to open it; but
the knock was repeated: not loud, and still importunately. I put the jug
on the banister and hastened to admit him myself. The harvest moon shone
clear outside. It was not the attorney. My own sweet little mistress
sprang on my neck sobbing, 'Ellen, Ellen! Is papa alive? '

'Yes,' I cried: 'yes, my angel, he is, God be thanked, you are safe with
us again! '

She wanted to run, breathless as she was, up-stairs to Mr. Linton's room;
but I compelled her to sit down on a chair, and made her drink, and
washed her pale face, chafing it into a faint colour with my apron. Then
I said I must go first, and tell of her arrival; imploring her to say,
she should be happy with young Heathcliff. She stared, but soon
comprehending why I counselled her to utter the falsehood, she assured me
she would not complain.

I couldn't abide to be present at their meeting. I stood outside the
chamber-door a quarter of an hour, and hardly ventured near the bed,
then. All was composed, however: Catherine's despair was as silent as
her father's joy. She supported him calmly, in appearance; and he fixed
on her features his raised eyes that seemed dilating with ecstasy.

He died blissfully, Mr. Lockwood: he died so. Kissing her cheek, he
murmured,--'I am going to her; and you, darling child, shall come to us! '
and never stirred or spoke again; but continued that rapt, radiant gaze,
till his pulse imperceptibly stopped and his soul departed. None could
have noticed the exact minute of his death, it was so entirely without a
struggle.

Whether Catherine had spent her tears, or whether the grief were too
weighty to let them flow, she sat there dry-eyed till the sun rose: she
sat till noon, and would still have remained brooding over that deathbed,
but I insisted on her coming away and taking some repose. It was well I
succeeded in removing her, for at dinner-time appeared the lawyer, having
called at Wuthering Heights to get his instructions how to behave. He
had sold himself to Mr. Heathcliff: that was the cause of his delay in
obeying my master's summons. Fortunately, no thought of worldly affairs
crossed the latter's mind, to disturb him, after his daughter's arrival.

Mr. Green took upon himself to order everything and everybody about the
place. He gave all the servants but me, notice to quit. He would have
carried his delegated authority to the point of insisting that Edgar
Linton should not be buried beside his wife, but in the chapel, with his
family. There was the will, however, to hinder that, and my loud
protestations against any infringement of its directions. The funeral
was hurried over; Catherine, Mrs. Linton Heathcliff now, was suffered to
stay at the Grange till her father's corpse had quitted it.

She told me that her anguish had at last spurred Linton to incur the risk
of liberating her. She heard the men I sent disputing at the door, and
she gathered the sense of Heathcliff's answer. It drove her desperate.
Linton who had been conveyed up to the little parlour soon after I left,
was terrified into fetching the key before his father re-ascended. He
had the cunning to unlock and re-lock the door, without shutting it; and
when he should have gone to bed, he begged to sleep with Hareton, and his
petition was granted for once. Catherine stole out before break of day.
She dared not try the doors lest the dogs should raise an alarm; she
visited the empty chambers and examined their windows; and, luckily,
lighting on her mother's, she got easily out of its lattice, and on to
the ground, by means of the fir-tree close by. Her accomplice suffered
for his share in the escape, notwithstanding his timid contrivances.




CHAPTER XXIX


The evening after the funeral, my young lady and I were seated in the
library; now musing mournfully--one of us despairingly--on our loss, now
venturing conjectures as to the gloomy future.

We had just agreed the best destiny which could await Catherine would be
a permission to continue resident at the Grange; at least during Linton's
life: he being allowed to join her there, and I to remain as housekeeper.
That seemed rather too favourable an arrangement to be hoped for; and yet
I did hope, and began to cheer up under the prospect of retaining my home
and my employment, and, above all, my beloved young mistress; when a
servant--one of the discarded ones, not yet departed--rushed hastily in,
and said 'that devil Heathcliff' was coming through the court: should he
fasten the door in his face?

If we had been mad enough to order that proceeding, we had not time. He
made no ceremony of knocking or announcing his name: he was master, and
availed himself of the master's privilege to walk straight in, without
saying a word. The sound of our informant's voice directed him to the
library; he entered and motioning him out, shut the door.

It was the same room into which he had been ushered, as a guest, eighteen
years before: the same moon shone through the window; and the same autumn
landscape lay outside. We had not yet lighted a candle, but all the
apartment was visible, even to the portraits on the wall: the splendid
head of Mrs. Linton, and the graceful one of her husband. Heathcliff
advanced to the hearth. Time had little altered his person either. There
was the same man: his dark face rather sallower and more composed, his
frame a stone or two heavier, perhaps, and no other difference. Catherine
had risen with an impulse to dash out, when she saw him.

'Stop! ' he said, arresting her by the arm. 'No more runnings away! Where
would you go? I'm come to fetch you home; and I hope you'll be a dutiful
daughter and not encourage my son to further disobedience. I was
embarrassed how to punish him when I discovered his part in the business:
he's such a cobweb, a pinch would annihilate him; but you'll see by his
look that he has received his due! I brought him down one evening, the
day before yesterday, and just set him in a chair, and never touched him
afterwards. I sent Hareton out, and we had the room to ourselves. In
two hours, I called Joseph to carry him up again; and since then my
presence is as potent on his nerves as a ghost; and I fancy he sees me
often, though I am not near. Hareton says he wakes and shrieks in the
night by the hour together, and calls you to protect him from me; and,
whether you like your precious mate, or not, you must come: he's your
concern now; I yield all my interest in him to you. '

'Why not let Catherine continue here,' I pleaded, 'and send Master Linton
to her? As you hate them both, you'd not miss them: they can only be a
daily plague to your unnatural heart. '

'I'm seeking a tenant for the Grange,' he answered; 'and I want my
children about me, to be sure. Besides, that lass owes me her services
for her bread. I'm not going to nurture her in luxury and idleness after
Linton is gone. Make haste and get ready, now; and don't oblige me to
compel you. '

'I shall,' said Catherine. 'Linton is all I have to love in the world,
and though you have done what you could to make him hateful to me, and me
to him, you cannot make us hate each other. And I defy you to hurt him
when I am by, and I defy you to frighten me! '

'You are a boastful champion,' replied Heathcliff; 'but I don't like you
well enough to hurt him: you shall get the full benefit of the torment,
as long as it lasts. It is not I who will make him hateful to you--it is
his own sweet spirit. He's as bitter as gall at your desertion and its
consequences: don't expect thanks for this noble devotion. I heard him
draw a pleasant picture to Zillah of what he would do if he were as
strong as I: the inclination is there, and his very weakness will sharpen
his wits to find a substitute for strength. '

'I know he has a bad nature,' said Catherine: 'he's your son. But I'm
glad I've a better, to forgive it; and I know he loves me, and for that
reason I love him. Mr. Heathcliff _you_ have _nobody_ to love you; and,
however miserable you make us, we shall still have the revenge of
thinking that your cruelty arises from your greater misery. You _are_
miserable, are you not? Lonely, like the devil, and envious like him?
_Nobody_ loves you--_nobody_ will cry for you when you die! I wouldn't
be you! '

Catherine spoke with a kind of dreary triumph: she seemed to have made up
her mind to enter into the spirit of her future family, and draw pleasure
from the griefs of her enemies.

'You shall be sorry to be yourself presently,' said her father-in-law,
'if you stand there another minute. Begone, witch, and get your things! '

She scornfully withdrew. In her absence I began to beg for Zillah's
place at the Heights, offering to resign mine to her; but he would suffer
it on no account. He bid me be silent; and then, for the first time,
allowed himself a glance round the room and a look at the pictures.
Having studied Mrs. Linton's, he said--'I shall have that home. Not
because I need it, but--' He turned abruptly to the fire, and continued,
with what, for lack of a better word, I must call a smile--'I'll tell you
what I did yesterday! I got the sexton, who was digging Linton's grave,
to remove the earth off her coffin lid, and I opened it. I thought,
once, I would have stayed there: when I saw her face again--it is hers
yet! --he had hard work to stir me; but he said it would change if the air
blew on it, and so I struck one side of the coffin loose, and covered it
up: not Linton's side, damn him! I wish he'd been soldered in lead. And
I bribed the sexton to pull it away when I'm laid there, and slide mine
out too; I'll have it made so: and then by the time Linton gets to us
he'll not know which is which! '

'You were very wicked, Mr. Heathcliff! ' I exclaimed; 'were you not
ashamed to disturb the dead? '

'I disturbed nobody, Nelly,' he replied; 'and I gave some ease to myself.
I shall be a great deal more comfortable now; and you'll have a better
chance of keeping me underground, when I get there. Disturbed her? No!
she has disturbed me, night and day, through eighteen
years--incessantly--remorselessly--till yesternight; and yesternight I
was tranquil. I dreamt I was sleeping the last sleep by that sleeper,
with my heart stopped and my cheek frozen against hers. '

'And if she had been dissolved into earth, or worse, what would you have
dreamt of then? ' I said.

'Of dissolving with her, and being more happy still! ' he answered. 'Do
you suppose I dread any change of that sort? I expected such a
transformation on raising the lid--but I'm better pleased that it should
not commence till I share it. Besides, unless I had received a distinct
impression of her passionless features, that strange feeling would hardly
have been removed. It began oddly. You know I was wild after she died;
and eternally, from dawn to dawn, praying her to return to me her spirit!
I have a strong faith in ghosts: I have a conviction that they can, and
do, exist among us! The day she was buried, there came a fall of snow.
In the evening I went to the churchyard. It blew bleak as winter--all
round was solitary. I didn't fear that her fool of a husband would
wander up the glen so late; and no one else had business to bring them
there. Being alone, and conscious two yards of loose earth was the sole
barrier between us, I said to myself--"I'll have her in my arms again! If
she be cold, I'll think it is this north wind that chills _me_; and if
she be motionless, it is sleep. " I got a spade from the tool-house, and
began to delve with all my might--it scraped the coffin; I fell to work
with my hands; the wood commenced cracking about the screws; I was on the
point of attaining my object, when it seemed that I heard a sigh from
some one above, close at the edge of the grave, and bending down. "If I
can only get this off," I muttered, "I wish they may shovel in the earth
over us both! " and I wrenched at it more desperately still. There was
another sigh, close at my ear. I appeared to feel the warm breath of it
displacing the sleet-laden wind. I knew no living thing in flesh and
blood was by; but, as certainly as you perceive the approach to some
substantial body in the dark, though it cannot be discerned, so certainly
I felt that Cathy was there: not under me, but on the earth. A sudden
sense of relief flowed from my heart through every limb. I relinquished
my labour of agony, and turned consoled at once: unspeakably consoled.
Her presence was with me: it remained while I re-filled the grave, and
led me home. You may laugh, if you will; but I was sure I should see her
there. I was sure she was with me, and I could not help talking to her.
Having reached the Heights, I rushed eagerly to the door. It was
fastened; and, I remember, that accursed Earnshaw and my wife opposed my
entrance. I remember stopping to kick the breath out of him, and then
hurrying up-stairs, to my room and hers. I looked round impatiently--I
felt her by me--I could _almost_ see her, and yet I _could not_! I ought
to have sweat blood then, from the anguish of my yearning--from the
fervour of my supplications to have but one glimpse! I had not one. She
showed herself, as she often was in life, a devil to me! And, since
then, sometimes more and sometimes less, I've been the sport of that
intolerable torture! Infernal! keeping my nerves at such a stretch that,
if they had not resembled catgut, they would long ago have relaxed to the
feebleness of Linton's. When I sat in the house with Hareton, it seemed
that on going out I should meet her; when I walked on the moors I should
meet her coming in. When I went from home I hastened to return; she
_must_ be somewhere at the Heights, I was certain! And when I slept in
her chamber--I was beaten out of that. I couldn't lie there; for the
moment I closed my eyes, she was either outside the window, or sliding
back the panels, or entering the room, or even resting her darling head
on the same pillow as she did when a child; and I must open my lids to
see. And so I opened and closed them a hundred times a night--to be
always disappointed! It racked me! I've often groaned aloud, till that
old rascal Joseph no doubt believed that my conscience was playing the
fiend inside of me. Now, since I've seen her, I'm pacified--a little. It
was a strange way of killing: not by inches, but by fractions of
hairbreadths, to beguile me with the spectre of a hope through eighteen
years! '

Mr. Heathcliff paused and wiped his forehead; his hair clung to it, wet
with perspiration; his eyes were fixed on the red embers of the fire, the
brows not contracted, but raised next the temples; diminishing the grim
aspect of his countenance, but imparting a peculiar look of trouble, and
a painful appearance of mental tension towards one absorbing subject. He
only half addressed me, and I maintained silence. I didn't like to hear
him talk! After a short period he resumed his meditation on the picture,
took it down and leant it against the sofa to contemplate it at better
advantage; and while so occupied Catherine entered, announcing that she
was ready, when her pony should be saddled.

'Send that over to-morrow,' said Heathcliff to me; then turning to her,
he added: 'You may do without your pony: it is a fine evening, and you'll
need no ponies at Wuthering Heights; for what journeys you take, your own
feet will serve you. Come along. '

'Good-bye, Ellen! ' whispered my dear little mistress.

As she kissed me, her lips felt like ice. 'Come and see me, Ellen; don't
forget. '

'Take care you do no such thing, Mrs. Dean! ' said her new father. 'When
I wish to speak to you I'll come here. I want none of your prying at my
house! '

He signed her to precede him; and casting back a look that cut my heart,
she obeyed. I watched them, from the window, walk down the garden.
Heathcliff fixed Catherine's arm under his: though she disputed the act
at first evidently; and with rapid strides he hurried her into the alley,
whose trees concealed them.




CHAPTER XXX


I have paid a visit to the Heights, but I have not seen her since she
left: Joseph held the door in his hand when I called to ask after her,
and wouldn't let me pass. He said Mrs. Linton was 'thrang,' and the
master was not in. Zillah has told me something of the way they go on,
otherwise I should hardly know who was dead and who living. She thinks
Catherine haughty, and does not like her, I can guess by her talk. My
young lady asked some aid of her when she first came; but Mr. Heathcliff
told her to follow her own business, and let his daughter-in-law look
after herself; and Zillah willingly acquiesced, being a narrow-minded,
selfish woman. Catherine evinced a child's annoyance at this neglect;
repaid it with contempt, and thus enlisted my informant among her
enemies, as securely as if she had done her some great wrong. I had a
long talk with Zillah about six weeks ago, a little before you came, one
day when we foregathered on the moor; and this is what she told me.

'The first thing Mrs. Linton did,' she said, 'on her arrival at the
Heights, was to run up-stairs, without even wishing good-evening to me
and Joseph; she shut herself into Linton's room, and remained till
morning. Then, while the master and Earnshaw were at breakfast, she
entered the house, and asked all in a quiver if the doctor might be sent
for? her cousin was very ill.

'"We know that! " answered Heathcliff; "but his life is not worth a
farthing, and I won't spend a farthing on him. "

'"But I cannot tell how to do," she said; "and if nobody will help me,
he'll die!