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_Me. _ O blessed arte thou that euer thou gotte this
relyque. _Ogy. _ I may tell you in cowncell, I wold nat
gyue thys litle pece for all ye gold that Tagus hathe,
I wyll sett it in gold, but so that it shall apere
thorow a crystall stone. And than the Supprioure whã he
sawe that I dyd take the relyque so honorably, he
thoght it shuld nat be lost, in case he shuld shew me
greater mysteries, he dyd aske me whether I hadde euer
sene our ladyes secretes, but at that word I was
astonyed, yet I durst nat be so so bold as to demande
what thos || secretes were. For in so holy thynges to
speake a mysse is no small danger. I sayd that I dyd
neuer se thaym but I sayd that I wold be very glade to
see thaym. But now I was broght in, and as I had be
inspired with the holy ghost, than thay lyghted a
couple of taperes, & set forthe a litle ymage, nat
couryously wroght, nor yet very gorgeous, but of a
meruelous virtue. _Me. _ That litle body hathe smale
powre to worke myrakles. I saw saynt Christopher at
Parise, nat a carte lode, but as moche as a greate
hylle, yet he neuer dyd myrakles as farre as euer I
herd telle. _Ogy. _ At our ladyes fette there is a
precyous stone, whos name as it is nother in Greke nor
Laten. The Frenchemã gaue it the name of a tode,
bycause it is so like, that no man (althoghe he be
conynge) can set it forthe more lyuely. But so moche
greater is || the myrakle, that the stone is litle, the
fourme of the tode dothe nat apere, but it shynythe as
it were enclosyd within that precyous stone. _Me. _
Perauenture they ymagyne ye symylytude of a tode to
be there, euyn as we suppose whan we cutte ye fearne
stalke there to be an egle, and euyn as chyldren
(whiche they see nat indede) in ye clowdes, thynke they
see dragones spyttynge fyre, & hylles flammynge with
fyre, & armyd mê encownterynge. _Ogy. _ No, I wold you
shuld know it, there is no lyuynge tode that more
euydêtly dothe expresse hymselffe than it dyd there
playnly apere. _Me. _ Hetherto I haue sufferyd thy lyes,
but now get the another that wyll beleue the, thy tale
of a tode. _Ogy. _ No maruayle Menedemus thogh you be so
disposyd, for all the world cannot make me to beleue
yt, not & all doctoures of dyuynyte wold swere || it
were trewe. But that I sawe it with myne eyes, ye with
thes same eyes, dyd I proue it. But in ye meanseson me
thynke you regard naturall phylosophye but litle. _Me. _
why so, because I wyll nat beleue ye asses flye? _Ogy. _
An do you nat se, how nature the worker of all thynges,
dothe so excell in expressynge ye fourme bewty, &
coloure of thaym maruylously in other thynges, but
pryncypaly in precyous stones? moreouer she hathe gyuen
to ye same stones wonderouse vertu and strêkthe that is
almost incredyble, but that experience dothe otherwyse
testyfye. Tell me, do you beleue that a Adamand stone
wold drawe vnto him stele withowt any towchynge therof,
and also to be separate frome him ayen of hys owne
accorde, excepte that yow had sene it with yowre eyes.
_Me. _ No verely, nat and if . x. Arystoteles wold
perswade me || to the contrarye. _Ogy. _ Therfore
bycause you shuld nat say thys were a lye, in case you
here any thynge, whiche you haue not sene prouyd. In a
stone callyd Ceraunia we see ye fashon of lightnynge,
in the stone Pyropo wyldfyre, Chelazia dothe expresse
bothe the coldnes and the fourme of hayle, and thoghe
thou cast in to the hote fyre, an Emrode, wyll
expresse the clere water of the seye. Carcinas dothe
counterfayte ye shape of a crabfishe. Echites of the
serpente vyper. But to what purpose shuld I entreat, or
inuestygate the nature of suche thynges whiche be
innumerable, whã there is no parte of nature nor in the
elementes, nother in any lyuynge creature, other in
planetes, or herbes ye nature euyn as it were all of
pleasure hathe not expressyd in precyous stones? Doo
yow maruayle thã that in thys stone at owre ladies
fote, || D. || is the fourme and fashon of a tode. _Me. _
I maruayle that nature shuld haue so moche lesure, so
to counterfayt the nature of althynges. _Ogy. _ It was
but to exercyse, or occupye the curyosytye of mannes
wytte, and so at the lest wyse to kepe vs frome
ydlenes, and yet as thoghe we had nothynge to passe ye
tyme with all, we be in a maner made apon foles, apon
dyesse, and crafty iogeleres. _Me. _ You saye very
truthe. _Ogy. _ There be many men of no smale grauytye,
that wyll say thys kynd of stones, if that you put it
in vynagre, it wyll swyme, thoge you wold thruste it
downe with violence. _Me. _ Wherfore do thay sette a
tode byfore our lady? _Ogy. _ Bycause she hathe
ouercome, trode vnderfote, abolyshyd all maner of
vnclennes, poysõ, pryde, couytousnes, and all wordly
affectyones that raygne in man. _Me. _ Woo be to vs,
that hathe so many todes in owre hartes. || _Ogygy. _
We shal be purgyd frome thaym all, if we dylygêtly
worshipe owre lady. _Me. _ How wold she be worshipyd.
_Ogy. _ The most acceptable honor, that thou canste doo
to her is to folowe her lyuynge. _Me. _ You haue told
all at ones. But this is hard to brynge to pass. _Ogy. _
You saye truthe, but it is an excellente thynge. _Me. _
But go to, and tell on as you begane. _Ogy. _ After thys
to come to owre purpose, the Supprioure shewyed to me
ymages of gold and syluer, and sayd, thes be pure gold,
and thes be syluer and gyltyd, he told the pryce of
euery one of thaym, and the patrone. Whan I wonderyd,
reioycynge of so maruelous ryches, as was abowt our
lady, than saythe the Sextê bycause I percayue, that
you be so vertuously affecte, I suppose it greate
wronge, to hyde any thynge frome you, but now you shall
see the pryuytyes || D ij. || of our lady, and than he
pullyd owt of the aultre a whole world of maruayles, if
I shuld tell you of all, a whole daye wold nat suffyse,
& so thys pylgremage chansyd to me most happy. I was
fyllyd euyn full withe goodly syghts, and I brynge also
with me this wonderous relyque, whiche was a tokê gyuen
to me frõe our lady. _Me. _ Haue you nat it prouyd, what
valewre your woden relyque is on? _Ogy. _ Yis, that I
haue, in a certayne Inne within thys thre dayes, ther I
fownde a certayne man that was bestraght of hys wytte,
whiche shuld haue be bownde, but thys woden relyque was
put vnder hys nekke pryuyly, wherapon he gad a sadde
and sownd sleape, but in the mornynge he was hole and
sownde as euer he was before. _Me. _ It was nat the
phrenysy, but the dronkê dropsye, sleape ys wontyd to
be a good medicyne for ye dysease. || _Ogy. _ Whã you be
dysposyd to skoffe Menedemus, yt ys best that you gette
a nother maner of gestynge stokke than thys, for I tell
you it is nother good nor holsome, to bowrde so with
sayntes. For thys same mã dyd say, that a woman dyd
apere to hym, in hys sleape, after a maruelouse
fashion, which shold gyue hym a cuppe to drynke apon.
_Mene. _ I suppose it was *Elleborû. [*Elleborum wyll
restore a man to hys senses that hathe lost thê. ]
_Ogy. _ That is vncertayne, but I kno well ye mã was
well broght into hys mynde ayen. _Me. _ Dyd you other
come or goo by Sante Thomas of Cantorbury that good
archebishope. _Ogy. _ What els/there ys no pylgremage
more holy. _Me. _ I wold fayne here of yt, and I shold
nat trouble you. _Ogy. _ I pray you here, & take good
hedd. Kente ys callyd that parte of England, that
buttythe apon Fraûce and Flanders, the cheffe cytye
there of ys Cantorburye, in yt there be ij. || D iij. ||
Abbayes, bothe of thaym be of Saynte Benedycts ordre,
but that which ys callyd Saynte Augustyns dothe apere
to be the oldre, that whiche ys callyd now Saynte
Thomas dothe apere to haue be the Archebyshope of
Cantorburys see, where as he was wontyd to lyue with a
sorte of monkes electe for hymselffe, as Byshopes now
adayes be wontyd to haue thayr howses nye vnto the
churche, but aparte frome other canons howses. In tymes
paste bothe Byshopes & Chanones were wontyde to be
monkes, as may be playnly prouyd by many argumentes.
The churche which ys dedycate to Saynte Thomas, dothe
streche vpe apon heght so gorgeously, that it wyll moue
pylgrymes to deuocion a ferre of, and also withe hys
bryghtnes and shynynge he dothe lyght hys neybures,
& the old place whiche was wontyd to be most holy, ||
now in respecte of it, is but a darke hole and a lytle
cotage. There be a couple of great hye toures, which
doo seme to salute strangeres aferre of, and thay dow
fyll all the contray abowt bothe farre and nere, with
the sownde of great belles, in the fronte of the
temple, whiche is apõ the southe syde, there stand
grauen in a stone thre armyd men, whiche with thayr
cruell handes dyd sleye the most holy saynte Thomas,
and there is wryten thayr surnames Tracy, Breton, and
Beryston. _Me. _ I pray you wharfore doo thay suffer
thos wykyd knyghtes be so had in honoure. _Ogy. _ Euyn
suche honor is gyuen to thaym as was gyuê to Iudas,
Pylate, and Caiphas, & to the compauy of the wykyd
sowdyeres, as you may se payntyd in the tables that be
sett before aultres. Thayr surnames be putto lest any
man hereafter shuld vsurpe any || D iiij. || cause of
thayr prayse. Thay be payntyd byfore mennes eyes,
bycause that no cowrtyer after thys shuld laye violêt
handes other apõ Byshopes, or the churche goodes. For
thes thre of this garde strayght apon that wykyd acte,
wente starke madde, nor thay had neuer had thayr mynde
ayen, but that thay prayd to blessyd saynt Thomas.
_Me. _ O blessyd pacyence of suche martyres. _Ogy. _ At
our entre in, lord what a pryncely place dyd apere vnto
vs, where as euery mã that wyll may goo in. _Me. _ Is
there no maruayle to be sene. _Ogy. _ Nothynge but the
greate wydnes of the place, and a sorte of bokes,
that be bownde to pyleres wherein is the gospell of
Nicodemus, and I cannat tell whos sepulkre. _Me. _ What
than? _Ogy. _ Thay do so dylygêtle watche lest any mã
shulde entre in to the quere of yron, that thay wyll
skarsly suffre a man || to loke apon it, whiche is
betwyxte the greate churche & the hye quere (as thay
calle it) a man that wyll go thyther must clyme vp many
stayres byfore, vndre the whiche there is a certayne
wykyt with a barre that openythe the dore apon the
northe syde. There standythe forthe a certayne aultre
whiche is dedycate to our lady, it is but a lytle one,
and I suppose set there for no other purpose, but to be
a olde monumêt or sygne, that in thos dayes there was
no greate superfluyte. There thay saye that thys
blessyd martyr sayd his last good nyght to our lady,
whã he shuld departe hensse. In ye aultre is the poynte
of the sword that styryd abowt the braynes of thys
blessyd martyr. And there lye his braynes shed apon the
yerthe, whereby you may well knowe yt he was nere
deade. But the holly ruste of thys grat I deuoutly
kyssed for loue of ye || D v. || blessyd martyr. From
thens we wêt vndre the crowdes, whiche is nat withowt
hys chaplaynes, & there we sawe the brayne panne of
that holy martyr whiche was thraste quyte thorow, all
the other was coueryd with syluer, the ouerparte of the
brayne panne was bare to be kyssyd, and there with all
is seth forthe a certayn leden table hauynge grauyd in
hym a tytle of saynte Thomas of Acrese. There hange
also the sherte of heyre, & hys gyrdle with hys heren
breches where with that noble champyõ chastnyd hys
body, thay be horryble to loke apon, and greatly
reproue oure delycate gorgeousnes. _Me. _ Ye perauêture
so thay do the mõkes slotefulnes. _Ogy. _ As for that
mater I cãnat affyrme nor yet denye, nor yet it is no
poynte of my charge. _Me. _ Ye saye truthe. _Ogy. _ Frome
thens we returnyd in to the quere, & apon || ye northe
syde be ye relyques shewyd, a wonderouse thynge to se,
what a sort of bones be broght forthe, skulles, iawes,
thethe, handes, fyngres, hole armes, whã we had
worshipyd thaym all, we kyssyd thaym, that I thoght we
shuld neuer haue mayd an ende, but that my pylgremage
felow whiche was an vnmete companyon for suche a
busynes, prayd thaym to make an end of sethynge forthe
thayre relyques. _Me. _ What felowe was that? _Ogy. _
He was an Englyshma callyd Gratiane colte a man bothe
vertuouse and well learnyd, but he had lesse affectyon
toward pylgremages than I wold that he shuld haue.
_Me. _ One of Wyclyffes scoleres I warrante you? _Ogy. _
I thynke nat, althoghe he had redde hys bokes, how he
came by thaym I cannat tell. _Me. _ He dysplesyd mayster
Sextê greuosly. _Ogy. _ Thã was there broght forthe ||
an arme whiche had yet the redde fleshe apon it, he
abhorryd to kysse it, a man myght se by hys countenance
that he was nothynge well pleasyd, & than by and by
mayster Sexten put vp hys relyques. But than we lokyd
apõ the table whiche was apõ the aultre, and all hys
gorgeousnes, aftrewarde thos thyngs that were hydde
vnder the aultre. ther was nothynge but riches
excedynge, a man wold accompte both Midas and Cresus
beggers in respecte of thos riches that ther was sett
abrode. _Me. _ Was ther no more kyssynge thê? _Ogy. _ No,
but an other affection and desyre came apõ me. _Me. _
What was that? _Ogy. _ I syghed that I had no suche
relyques at home. _Me. _ Oh a wycked desyre & an euyl
thought _Ogy. _ I graunt, and therefore I axyd,
forgyfnes of saynt Thomas before I remouyd one fote, to
departe out of the church. After || thes thus we were
brought in to ye reuestry, o good lorde what a goodly
syght was ther of vestmêtes of veluet & clothe of
golde, what a some of candlestykes of gold? We sawe
ther saynt Thomas crosse staffe, ther was seê also a
rede ouerlayed with syluer, it was but of a smalle
wyght, vnwrought, nor no longer then wold retch vnto a
mans mydgle. _Me. _ Was ther no crosse? _Ogy. _ I sawe
none at all, ther was shewed vs a robe of sylke treuly,
but sowed with cowrse threde, garnysshyd with nother
gold nor stone. Ther was also a napkyn full of swette
blody, wher with saynt Thomas wypyd bothe hys nose and
hys face, these thynges as monumêtes of auncyent
sobernes we kyssed gladely. _Me. _ Be not these thynges
showed to euery body? _Ogy. _ No for sothe good syr.
_Me. _ How happened it that you were in so good
credens, that no || secret thynges were hyd frome you?
_Ogy. _ I was well acquyntede with the reuerende father
Gwylyame warham the archbyshope. He wrote . ij. or . iij.
wordes in my fauour. _Me. _ I here of many that he is a
mã of syngler humanite. _Ogy. _ But rather thou woldest
call hym humanite it selfe if thou dydest well know
hym. For ther is in hym soche lernynge, so vertuouse
lyffe, soche purenes of maneres, that a mã cowld wyshe
no gyfte of a parfayte Byshope in him, that he hathe
nat. Frome thens afterward we were ladde to greater
thynges. For behynde the hyghe aultre, we ascêdyd as it
were in to a nother new churche, ther was shewed vs in
a chapell the face of the blessed man ouergylted and
with many precyous stones goodly garnysshed. A soden
chaunse here had almost marred the matter and put vs
out of conceyte. _Me. _ I tary || to knowe what euyl
chaunse yow wyll speke of. _Ogy. _ Here my companyõ
Gratiã gote hym lytle fauoure, for he, after we had mad
an ende of praynge, inquyred of hym that sate by the
hede, herke, he seyd, good father, is it true that I
here, that saynt Thomas whyl he it lyued was mercyfull
toward ye poer people? That is very true saythe he, and
he begã to tell greatly of his liberalyte and
compassyon that he shewede to the poer and nedy. Then
sayd Gratiã: I thynke that affection and good mynd in
him not to be chaungyde, but that it is now moche
better. Unto this graunted ye keper of the hede, agayn
sayd he, then in as moche as thys holy man was so
gratyouse vnto ye poer, whan he was yet poer, & he hym
selfe had nede of monay for ye necessarys of hys body,
thynke ye nat that he wold be contêt, now that he is so
ryche, and also nedethe || nothynge, that if a poer
womã hauynge at home chylderne lakynge mete and drynke,
or els doughters beynge in danger to lose ther
virginite, for defaute of ther substaunce to mary them
with, or hauynge her husbande sore syke, and destitute
of all helpe, in case she askyd lycens, & pryuyly stole
away a small porcyon of so greate riches, to sukkre her
howshold, as and if the shold haue it of one that wold
other leane, or gyue it to herre? And whan he wold nat
answere that kepyd the golden hedde, Gracyane, as he is
som what hasty, I, saythe he, doo suppose playnly, that
this holy man wold be gladde, yf that she, now beynge
deade, myght sustayne the necestiye of pore people.
But
there mayster parson begone to frowne, & byte hys
lyppe, with hys holowe eyes lyke to *Gorgone [*A mõster
that hathe snakes for heares apon her hedde. ] ye
monstre to luke apõ vs. I doo not dowbte he wold haue
|| cast vs out of the temple, and spytte apõ vs,
but that he dyd knowe that we were comendyd of the
archebsyhope. But I dyd somwhat myttygate the manes
ire, with my fayre wordes, saynge that Gratiane dyd nat
speake as he thoghte, but that he gestyd as he was
wontyd to doo, and stoppyd hys mouthe with a fewe pens.
_Mene. _ Treuly I do greatly alow your goodly fashion,
but oftentymes ernestly I cõsyder, by what meaynes they
may be acõpted without faute & blame, that bestow so
moche substance in buyldyng churchys, in garnysshynge,
and enrychynge them without all mesure. I thynke as
touchyng the holy vestmentes, & the syluer plate of the
temple ther ought to be gyuyn, to the solempne seruys,
hys dygnyte and comlynes, I wyll also that the buyldyng
of the churche shall haue hys maiesty decent and
|| E. || conuenyent. But to what purpose seruyth so many
holy water pottes, so many cãdlestyckes, so many ymages
of gold. What nede there so many payre of organes (as
thay call them) so costely & chargeable? For one payre
can not serue vs: what profyteth ye musicall criynge
out in the temples that is so derely bought and payed
for, whan in the meaneseson our brothers and systers
the lyuely temples of Christe liynge by the walles/dye
for hungre & colde. _Ogy. _ Ther is no vertuouse or wyse
man, that wold nat desyre a meane to be hadde in thes
thynges. But in as moche as thys euyl is growen and
spronge vp of superstityon beyond mesure, yet may it
better be sufferde, specially when we consyder on the
other syde the euyll conscience and behauyor of them
that robb the churches of what so euer iuellys ther may
be so founde, thes || ryches were gyuen in a maner
great men, & of pryncys, the whiche they wold haue
bestowede vpon a worse vse, that is to say other at the
dyce or in the warres. And if a man take any thynge
from thense. Fyrst of all it is taken sacrylege, then
they hold ther handes that were accustomed to gyfe,
besyde that morouer they be allured & mouyde to
robbynge & vaynynge. Therfore thes mene be rather the
kepers of thys treasures thê lordes. And to speake a
worde for all, me thynket it is a better syght to
beholde a temple rychely adourned, as ther be some with
bare wolles, fylthy and euyl fauorde, more mete for
stables to put horses then churches for Chrysten
people. _Me. _ Yet we rede that Byshopes in tymes paste
were praysede and cõmended bycause they solde the holy
vesseles of theyr churches, and with that money helped
and releued the || E ij. || nedy and poure people.
_Ogy. _ Thay be praysede also now in our tyme, but thay
be praysed onely, to folow ther doynge (I suppose) thay
may not, nor be any thynge dysposede. _Me. _ I
interrupte and lett yowr cõmunycatyon. I loke now for
the cõclusyon of ye tale. _Ogy. _ Gyffe audyence, I wyll
make an ende shortly. In the meane seson comyth forthe
he that is the cheffe of them all. _Me. _ Who is he? the
abbot of the place? _Ogy. _ He werythe a mytre, he may
spend so moche as an abbot, he wãted nothynge but ye
name, and he is called prior for this cause
tharchebyshope is takê in the abbotes sted. For in old
tyme who so euer was archbyshope of ye dyocese, the
same was also a monke. _Me. _ In good faythe I wold be
content to be namyde a Camelle, if I myght spende
yerely the rentes and reuennes of an abbot. _Ogy. _ Me
semede he was a || man bothe vertuous and wyse, and not
vnlearnede Duns diuinite. He opened the shryne to vs in
whiche ye holle body of the holy mã, thay say, dothe
rest and remayne. _Me. _ Dydste thou see hys bones.
_Ogy. _ That is not conuenient, nor we cowld not come to
it, except we sett vp laders, but a shryne of wod
couerede a shryne of gold, when that is drawne vp with
cordes, thã apperith treasure and riches inestimable.
_Me. _ What do I here? the vilest part and worst was
golde, all thynges dyd shyne, florishe, and as it were
with lyghtnynge appered with precyouse stones and those
many and of great multitude: some were greater than a
gowse egge. Dyuerse of ye monks stode ther aboute with
greate reuerence, the couer takyn a way, all we kneled
downe and worshyped. The pryor with a whyte rodde
showed vs euery stone, addynge therto the || E iij. ||
frenche name, the value, & the autor of the gyfte, for
the cheffe stonys were sent thyther by great prynces.
_Me. _ He ought to be a man of an excedyng witt &
memory. _Ogy. _ You gesse well, how beit exercyse & vse
helpeth moche, for euyn the same he dothe oftentymes.
He brought vs agayne in to the crowdes. Our lady hathe
ther an habitacyon, but somwhat darke, closed rownde
aboute with double yren grats. _Me. _ What feared she?
_Ogy. _ Nothinge I trow, except theues. For I saw neuer
any thing more laden with riches synse I was borne of
my mother. _Me. _ You show vnto me blinde ryches.
_Ogy. _ Whê they brought vs candells we saw a sight
passynge ye ryches of any kynge. _Me. _ Dothe it excede
our lady of walsyngã? _Ogy. _ To loke vpõ this, is
richer, the secret tresure she knoweth her selfe, but
this is not shewede, but to great || men, or to
specyall frendes. At the last we were brought agayne in
to the reuettry, there was taken out a cofer couered
with blacke lether, it was sett downe apon the table,
it was sett open, by and by euery body kneled downe and
worshipyd. _Me. _ What was in it? _Ogy. _ Certayne torne
ragges of lynnen clothe, many hauynge yet remaynynge in
them the token of the fylthe of the holy mannes nose.
With these (as they say) saynt Thomas dyd wype a way
the swett of hys face or hys neke, ye fylthe of hys
nose, or other lyke fylthynes with whiche mannes body
dothe abownde. Then my companyon Gratian, yet ones
agayn, got hym but smalle fauour. Unto hym an Englyshe
man and of famylyare acquayntenance and besyde that,
a man of no smalle authorite, the Prior gaff gentylly
one of the lynnê ragges, thynkynge to haue gyuen
|| E iiij. || a gyfte very acceptable & pleasaunt, But
Gratian there with lyttle plea sede and content, not
with out an euydent synge of dyspleasure, toke one of
them betwene hys fyngers, and dysdaynyngly layd it down
agayne, made a mocke and a mow at it, after
the maner of puppettes, for thys was hys maner, if any
thing lykede hym not, that he thought worthy to be
despysede. Wher at I was bothe ashamed and wonderously
afrayed. Not withstondynge the Prior as he is a man not
at all dull wytted, dyd dyssemble the matter, & after
he had caused vs drinke a cuppe of wyne, gentylly he
let vs departe. When we came agayne to London. _Me. _
What shuld ye do at Londo: seynge ye were not farre
from the see cost, to seale in to yowr cuntre? _Ogy. _
It is true. But that see cost I refused and gladely dyd
fle from it, as from a place that is || noted and more
euyl spoken of it, for robbyng, stelynge, and vntrue
dealynge, then is of dangerouse ioperdy in the see, be
that hyll Malea wher many shyppes be drowned & vtterly
destroyed for euer. I wyll tell the what I dyd se the
last passage, at my commynge ouer. We were many caryed
in a bote frome Calys shore to go to the shyppe.
Amongest vs all was a pour yõge mã of Fraûce, and
barely appayrelled. Of hym he demauuded halfe a grote.
For so moche thay dow take and exacte of euery one for
so smalle a way rowynge. He allegede pouerty, then for
ther pastyme thay searched hym, plucked of his shoes,
and betwene the shoo and the soule, thay fownde . x. or
. xij. grotes, thay toke thê from hym laughyng at the
mater: mockinge and scornyng the poer & myserable
Frenchman. _Me. _ What dyd ye fellow than? _Ogy. _ What
thyng dyd || E v. || he? He wept. _Me. _ Whether dyd they
thys by any authoryte? _Ogy. _ Suerly by the same
authoryte that thay steyle and pycke straungers males
and bowgettes, by the whiche they take a way mennes
pursys, if they se tyme and place conuenyent. _Me. _
I meruayll that they dare be so bold to doo soch a
dede, so many lokynge vpon them. _Ogy. _ They be so
accustomed, that they thynk it well done. Many that
were in the shyp lokede owt and sawe it also, in the
bote were dyuerse Englyshe marchauntes, whiche grudged
agaynst it, but all in vayne. The botemê as it had ben
a tryflyng mater reiosed and were glade that they had
so taken and handelyd the myserable Frenchman. _Me. _
I wold play and sporte with these see theues, & hange
them vpon the gallowes. _Ogy. _ Yet of such both the
shores swarme full. Here tell me, I pray the. What ||
wyll great mê do, whê theues take vpõ them to
enterpryse soch masterys. Therfore, herafter I had
leuer go fourty myllys aboute, thê to go that way,
thoffe it be moche shorter. Morouer euyn as ye goynge
downe to hell, is easy and leyght, but ye cõmynge frome
thens of greate dyffyculty, so to take shyppynge of
this syde the see, is not very easy, and the landynge
very hard & dangeroufe. Ther was at London dyuerse
maryners of Antwerpe, with them I purposed to take the
see. _Me. _ Hathe that cûtre so holy maryners? _Ogy. _
As an ape is euer an ape, I graûte, so is a maryner
euer a maryner: yet if thou compare them vnto these,
ye lyfe by robbynge, and pyllynge and pollynge, they
be angelles. _Me. _ I will remembre thy saynge, if at
any tyme I be dysposed to go and se Englãde. But come
agayne in to ye waye, frome whens I broght the
|| E vi. || owt. _Ogy. _ Then as we whent toward London not
farre from Canterbury, we came in to a great hollow and
strayt way, morouer bowyng so downe, with hyllys of
eyther syde, that a man can not escape, nor it cannot
be auoyed, but he must nedes ryde that way. Upõ the
lefte hand of the way, ther is an almes howse for olde
people, frome them runnyth on owt, as sone as they here
a horseman commynge, he casteth holy water vpon hym,
and anone he offereth hym the ouerlether of a shoo
bownde abowte with an yerne whope, wherin is a glasse
lyke a precyouse stone, they that kysse it gyf a pece
of monay. _Me. _ In soche a way I had leuer haue an almes
howse of olde folkes, then a company of stronge theues.
_Ogy. _ Gratian rode vpon my lefte hande nerer the almes
howse, he caste holy water vpon hym, he toke it in
worthe so so, || when the shoo was proferred hym, he
asked what he ment by it, saythe he, it is saynt Thomas
shoo. There at he turned and was very angry, & turned
toward me: what (saythe he) meane these bestes, that
wold haue vs kysse ye shoes of euery good man? Why doo
they not lyke wyse gyue vs to kysse the spottel, &
other fylthe & dyrt of the body? I was sory for the old
mã, & gaue hym a pece of money to cõforthe hym with
all. _Me. _ In myn opynyõ Gratian was not all together
angry with owt a good cause. If shoes and slyppers were
kept for a tokê of sobre lyuynge, I wold not be moch
dyscontent ther with, but me thynks it is a shame full
fashyon for shoes, slyppers, and breches to be offered
to kysse to any man. If some wold do it by there owne
fre wyll, of a certene affectyõ of holynes, I thynke
they were whorthy of pardon. _Ogy. _ It were || better
not to thes thynges, if I may say as I thynke, yet owt
of thes thynges that cannat forthwith be amended, it is
my maner if ther be any goodnes thereyn, to take it
out, and apply it to the best. In ye meanseson that
contemplacyõ and light delited my mynde, that a good mã
is lykened to a shepe, an euyll man to a benemouse
best. The serpent after she is dede, cã stynge no more,
not withstondyng with her euyll sauour and poyson she
infecteth and corruptyth other. The shepe as lõge as
she is a lyue norryseth with her mylke, clothet with
her wolle, makyth riche with her lambes, when she is
deade she gyueth vs good and profytable lether, and all
her body is good meat. Euen so, cruell men, gyuen all
to the world, so longe as they lyue be vnprofitable to
all mê, when they be deade, what with ryngyng of
bellys, and pompyouse || funeralles they greue them
that be on lyue, and often tymes vexe ther successours
with new exactyones. Good men of the other syde at all
assais be profytable to all men, and hurtfull to noo
man. As thys holy man, whyle he was yet alyue, by hys
good example, hys doctryne, his goodly exhortatyons
prouokyd vs to vertuouse lyuynge, he dyd cõfort the
cõforthlesse, he helped ye poure, ye and now that he is
deade, he is in a maner more profytable. He hathe
buylded thys costly & gorgeouse churche, he hath caused
greate authoryte thorough out all Englande vnto the
ordre and presthode. At ye last, thys pece of the show
dothe susteyne a company of poure people. _Me. _ Thys is
of my faythe a godely cõtemplacyõ, but I maruayll
greatly, seyng you ar thus mynded, that ye neuer dyd
vysyte saynt Patryckes purgatory in Yerlande, of the ||
whiche the comyn people boost many wonderouse thynges,
whiche seme to me not lyke to be true. _Ogy. _ Of a
suerty ther is not so meruelouse talkynge of it here,
but the thynge it selffe doth fare excede. _Me. _ Hast
thou bene ther than, & gonne thorow saynt Patryckes
purgatory? _Ogy. _ I haue saylede ouer a ryuer ot hell,
I went downe vnto the gates of hell, I saw what was dõe
ther. _Me. _ Thou dost me a greate pleasure, if thou
wyll wotsaue to tell me. _Ogy. _ Lett this be the
prohemy or begynnynge of owr communycatyon, longe
enough as I suppose. I wyll gett me home, & cause my
souper to be made redy, for I am yet vndynede. _Me. _
Why haue you not yet dyned? is it bycause of holynes?
_Ogy. _ Noo of a truthe, but it is bycause of enuy and
euyll will. _Me. _ Owe ye euyll wyll to yowr bely? _Ogy. _
No, but to the couetyse || tauerners euer catchynge and
snatchynge the whiche when they wyll not sett afore a
man that is mete & conuenyent, yet they are not afearde
to take of straûgers that, whiche is bothe vnright and
agaynst good consciens. Of thys fashyõ I am acustomed
to be auengede vpon thê. If I thynke to fare well at
souper other with myne acquayntauns, or with some host
som what an honest man, at dyner tyme I am sycke in my
stomacke, but if I chaunce to fare after myne appetyte
at dyner, before souper also I begynne to be well at
ease in my stomacke. _Me. _ Wre ye not ashamede to be
taken for a couetouse fellow & a nygerde? _Ogy. _
Menedeme they that make cost of shame in soche thynges,
beleue me, bestow theyr money euyll. I haue lerned to
kepe my shame for other purposys. _Me. _ Now I longe for
the rest of yowr comunycacyon, || wherfore loke to haue
me yowr geste at souper, where ye shall tell it more
conuenyently. _Ogy. _ For sothe I thanke you, that ye
offere yowr selfe to be my gest vndesyred, when many
hertely prayed refuse it, but I wyll gyue yow double
thankes, if ye wyll soupe to day at home. For I must
passe that tyme in doynge my dewty to my howsehold. But
I haue counsell to eyther of vs moche more profytable.
To morrow vnto me and my wyfe, prepare our dyner at
yowr howse, then and if it be to souper tyme, we will
not leyue of talkynge, vntyll you say that ye are wery,
and if ye wyll at souper also we wyll not forsake you.
Why, claw you your hede? prepare for vs in good fayth
we wyll come. _Me. _ I had leuer haue no tales at all.
Well go to, you shall haue a dyner, but vnsauery,
except you spyce it with good & mery tales. _Ogy. _ But
here || you, are ye not mouyd and styrrede in your
mynde, to take vpon yow these pylgremages? _Me. _
Perauenture it wyll sett me a fyre, after ye haue told
me the resydew, as I am now mynded, I haue enough to do
with my statyons of Rome. _Ogy. _ Of Rome, that dyd
neuer see Rome? .