No More Learning

un' then, I mud ha'
telled ye, baht all this wark, that that's just one ye cannut see--he
allas keeps it locked, un' nob'dy iver mells on't but hisseln. '

'You've a nice house, Joseph,' I could not refrain from observing, 'and
pleasant inmates; and I think the concentrated essence of all the madness
in the world took up its abode in my brain the day I linked my fate with
theirs! However, that is not to the present purpose--there are other
rooms. For heaven's sake be quick, and let me settle somewhere! '

He made no reply to this adjuration; only plodding doggedly down the
wooden steps, and halting, before an apartment which, from that halt and
the superior quality of its furniture, I conjectured to be the best one.
There was a carpet--a good one, but the pattern was obliterated by dust;
a fireplace hung with cut-paper, dropping to pieces; a handsome
oak-bedstead with ample crimson curtains of rather expensive material and
modern make; but they had evidently experienced rough usage: the
vallances hung in festoons, wrenched from their rings, and the iron rod
supporting them was bent in an arc on one side, causing the drapery to
trail upon the floor. The chairs were also damaged, many of them
severely; and deep indentations deformed the panels of the walls. I was
endeavouring to gather resolution for entering and taking possession,
when my fool of a guide announced,--'This here is t' maister's. ' My
supper by this time was cold, my appetite gone, and my patience
exhausted. I insisted on being provided instantly with a place of
refuge, and means of repose.

'Whear the divil? ' began the religious elder. 'The Lord bless us! The
Lord forgie us! Whear the _hell_ wold ye gang? ye marred, wearisome
nowt! Ye've seen all but Hareton's bit of a cham'er. There's not
another hoile to lig down in i' th' hahse! '

I was so vexed, I flung my tray and its contents on the ground; and then
seated myself at the stairs'-head, hid my face in my hands, and cried.

'Ech! ech! ' exclaimed Joseph. 'Weel done, Miss Cathy! weel done, Miss
Cathy! Howsiver, t' maister sall just tum'le o'er them brooken pots; un'
then we's hear summut; we's hear how it's to be. Gooid-for-naught
madling! ye desarve pining fro' this to Chrustmas, flinging t' precious
gifts o'God under fooit i' yer flaysome rages! But I'm mista'en if ye
shew yer sperrit lang. Will Hathecliff bide sich bonny ways, think ye? I
nobbut wish he may catch ye i' that plisky. I nobbut wish he may. '

And so he went on scolding to his den beneath, taking the candle with
him; and I remained in the dark. The period of reflection succeeding
this silly action compelled me to admit the necessity of smothering my
pride and choking my wrath, and bestirring myself to remove its effects.
An unexpected aid presently appeared in the shape of Throttler, whom I
now recognised as a son of our old Skulker: it had spent its whelphood
at the Grange, and was given by my father to Mr. Hindley. I fancy it
knew me: it pushed its nose against mine by way of salute, and then
hastened to devour the porridge; while I groped from step to step,
collecting the shattered earthenware, and drying the spatters of milk
from the banister with my pocket-handkerchief. Our labours were scarcely
over when I heard Earnshaw's tread in the passage; my assistant tucked
in his tail, and pressed to the wall; I stole into the nearest doorway.
The dog's endeavour to avoid him was unsuccessful; as I guessed by a
scutter down-stairs, and a prolonged, piteous yelping. I had better
luck: he passed on, entered his chamber, and shut the door. Directly
after Joseph came up with Hareton, to put him to bed. I had found
shelter in Hareton's room, and the old man, on seeing me, said,--'They's
rahm for boath ye un' yer pride, now, I sud think i' the hahse. It's
empty; ye may hev' it all to yerseln, un' Him as allus maks a third, i'
sich ill company! '

Gladly did I take advantage of this intimation; and the minute I flung
myself into a chair, by the fire, I nodded, and slept. My slumber was
deep and sweet, though over far too soon. Mr. Heathcliff awoke me; he
had just come in, and demanded, in his loving manner, what I was doing
there? I told him the cause of my staying up so late--that he had the
key of our room in his pocket. The adjective _our_ gave mortal offence.
He swore it was not, nor ever should be, mine; and he'd--but I'll not
repeat his language, nor describe his habitual conduct: he is ingenious
and unresting in seeking to gain my abhorrence! I sometimes wonder at
him with an intensity that deadens my fear: yet, I assure you, a tiger or
a venomous serpent could not rouse terror in me equal to that which he
wakens. He told me of Catherine's illness, and accused my brother of
causing it promising that I should be Edgar's proxy in suffering, till he
could get hold of him.

I do hate him--I am wretched--I have been a fool! Beware of uttering one
breath of this to any one at the Grange. I shall expect you every
day--don't disappoint me! --ISABELLA.




CHAPTER XIV


As soon as I had perused this epistle I went to the master, and informed
him that his sister had arrived at the Heights, and sent me a letter
expressing her sorrow for Mrs. Linton's situation, and her ardent desire
to see him; with a wish that he would transmit to her, as early as
possible, some token of forgiveness by me.

'Forgiveness! ' said Linton. 'I have nothing to forgive her, Ellen. You
may call at Wuthering Heights this afternoon, if you like, and say that I
am not angry, but I'm sorry to have lost her; especially as I can never
think she'll be happy. It is out of the question my going to see her,
however: we are eternally divided; and should she really wish to oblige
me, let her persuade the villain she has married to leave the country. '

'And you won't write her a little note, sir? ' I asked, imploringly.

'No,' he answered. 'It is needless. My communication with Heathcliff's
family shall be as sparing as his with mine. It shall not exist! '

Mr. Edgar's coldness depressed me exceedingly; and all the way from the
Grange I puzzled my brains how to put more heart into what he said, when
I repeated it; and how to soften his refusal of even a few lines to
console Isabella. I daresay she had been on the watch for me since
morning: I saw her looking through the lattice as I came up the garden
causeway, and I nodded to her; but she drew back, as if afraid of being
observed. I entered without knocking. There never was such a dreary,
dismal scene as the formerly cheerful house presented! I must confess,
that if I had been in the young lady's place, I would, at least, have
swept the hearth, and wiped the tables with a duster. But she already
partook of the pervading spirit of neglect which encompassed her. Her
pretty face was wan and listless; her hair uncurled: some locks hanging
lankly down, and some carelessly twisted round her head. Probably she
had not touched her dress since yester evening. Hindley was not there.
Mr. Heathcliff sat at a table, turning over some papers in his
pocket-book; but he rose when I appeared, asked me how I did, quite
friendly, and offered me a chair. He was the only thing there that
seemed decent; and I thought he never looked better. So much had
circumstances altered their positions, that he would certainly have
struck a stranger as a born and bred gentleman; and his wife as a
thorough little slattern! She came forward eagerly to greet me, and held
out one hand to take the expected letter. I shook my head. She wouldn't
understand the hint, but followed me to a sideboard, where I went to lay
my bonnet, and importuned me in a whisper to give her directly what I
had brought. Heathcliff guessed the meaning of her manoeuvres, and
said--'If you have got anything for Isabella (as no doubt you have,
Nelly), give it to her. You needn't make a secret of it: we have no
secrets between us. '

'Oh, I have nothing,' I replied, thinking it best to speak the truth at
once. 'My master bid me tell his sister that she must not expect either
a letter or a visit from him at present. He sends his love, ma'am, and
his wishes for your happiness, and his pardon for the grief you have
occasioned; but he thinks that after this time his household and the
household here should drop intercommunication, as nothing could come of
keeping it up. '

Mrs. Heathcliff's lip quivered slightly, and she returned to her seat in
the window. Her husband took his stand on the hearthstone, near me, and
began to put questions concerning Catherine. I told him as much as I
thought proper of her illness, and he extorted from me, by
cross-examination, most of the facts connected with its origin. I blamed
her, as she deserved, for bringing it all on herself; and ended by hoping
that he would follow Mr. Linton's example and avoid future interference
with his family, for good or evil.

'Mrs. Linton is now just recovering,' I said; 'she'll never be like she
was, but her life is spared; and if you really have a regard for her,
you'll shun crossing her way again: nay, you'll move out of this country
entirely; and that you may not regret it, I'll inform you Catherine
Linton is as different now from your old friend Catherine Earnshaw, as
that young lady is different from me. Her appearance is changed greatly,
her character much more so; and the person who is compelled, of
necessity, to be her companion, will only sustain his affection hereafter
by the remembrance of what she once was, by common humanity, and a sense
of duty! '

'That is quite possible,' remarked Heathcliff, forcing himself to seem
calm: 'quite possible that your master should have nothing but common
humanity and a sense of duty to fall back upon. But do you imagine that
I shall leave Catherine to his _duty_ and _humanity_? and can you compare
my feelings respecting Catherine to his? Before you leave this house, I
must exact a promise from you that you'll get me an interview with her:
consent, or refuse, I _will_ see her! What do you say? '

'I say, Mr. Heathcliff,' I replied, 'you must not: you never shall,
through my means. Another encounter between you and the master would
kill her altogether. '

'With your aid that may be avoided,' he continued; 'and should there be
danger of such an event--should he be the cause of adding a single
trouble more to her existence--why, I think I shall be justified in going
to extremes! I wish you had sincerity enough to tell me whether
Catherine would suffer greatly from his loss: the fear that she would
restrains me. And there you see the distinction between our feelings:
had he been in my place, and I in his, though I hated him with a hatred
that turned my life to gall, I never would have raised a hand against
him. You may look incredulous, if you please! I never would have
banished him from her society as long as she desired his. The moment her
regard ceased, I would have torn his heart out, and drunk his blood! But,
till then--if you don't believe me, you don't know me--till then, I would
have died by inches before I touched a single hair of his head! '

'And yet,' I interrupted, 'you have no scruples in completely ruining all
hopes of her perfect restoration, by thrusting yourself into her
remembrance now, when she has nearly forgotten you, and involving her in
a new tumult of discord and distress. '

'You suppose she has nearly forgotten me? ' he said. 'Oh, Nelly! you know
she has not! You know as well as I do, that for every thought she spends
on Linton she spends a thousand on me! At a most miserable period of my
life, I had a notion of the kind: it haunted me on my return to the
neighbourhood last summer; but only her own assurance could make me admit
the horrible idea again. And then, Linton would be nothing, nor Hindley,
nor all the dreams that ever I dreamt. Two words would comprehend my
future--_death_ and _hell_: existence, after losing her, would be hell.
Yet I was a fool to fancy for a moment that she valued Edgar Linton's
attachment more than mine. If he loved with all the powers of his puny
being, he couldn't love as much in eighty years as I could in a day. And
Catherine has a heart as deep as I have: the sea could be as readily
contained in that horse-trough as her whole affection be monopolised by
him. Tush! He is scarcely a degree dearer to her than her dog, or her
horse. It is not in him to be loved like me: how can she love in him
what he has not? '

'Catherine and Edgar are as fond of each other as any two people can be,'
cried Isabella, with sudden vivacity. 'No one has a right to talk in
that manner, and I won't hear my brother depreciated in silence! '

'Your brother is wondrous fond of you too, isn't he? ' observed
Heathcliff, scornfully. 'He turns you adrift on the world with
surprising alacrity. '

'He is not aware of what I suffer,' she replied. 'I didn't tell him
that. '

'You have been telling him something, then: you have written, have you? '

'To say that I was married, I did write--you saw the note. '

'And nothing since? '

'No. '

'My young lady is looking sadly the worse for her change of condition,' I
remarked. 'Somebody's love comes short in her case, obviously; whose, I
may guess; but, perhaps, I shouldn't say. '

'I should guess it was her own,' said Heathcliff. 'She degenerates into
a mere slut! She is tired of trying to please me uncommonly early. You'd
hardly credit it, but the very morrow of our wedding she was weeping to
go home. However, she'll suit this house so much the better for not
being over nice, and I'll take care she does not disgrace me by rambling
abroad. '

'Well, sir,' returned I, 'I hope you'll consider that Mrs. Heathcliff is
accustomed to be looked after and waited on; and that she has been
brought up like an only daughter, whom every one was ready to serve. You
must let her have a maid to keep things tidy about her, and you must
treat her kindly. Whatever be your notion of Mr. Edgar, you cannot doubt
that she has a capacity for strong attachments, or she wouldn't have
abandoned the elegancies, and comforts, and friends of her former home,
to fix contentedly, in such a wilderness as this, with you. '

'She abandoned them under a delusion,' he answered; 'picturing in me a
hero of romance, and expecting unlimited indulgences from my chivalrous
devotion. I can hardly regard her in the light of a rational creature,
so obstinately has she persisted in forming a fabulous notion of my
character and acting on the false impressions she cherished. But, at
last, I think she begins to know me: I don't perceive the silly smiles
and grimaces that provoked me at first; and the senseless incapability of
discerning that I was in earnest when I gave her my opinion of her
infatuation and herself. It was a marvellous effort of perspicacity to
discover that I did not love her. I believed, at one time, no lessons
could teach her that! And yet it is poorly learnt; for this morning she
announced, as a piece of appalling intelligence, that I had actually
succeeded in making her hate me! A positive labour of Hercules, I assure
you! If it be achieved, I have cause to return thanks. Can I trust your
assertion, Isabella? Are you sure you hate me? If I let you alone for
half a day, won't you come sighing and wheedling to me again? I daresay
she would rather I had seemed all tenderness before you: it wounds her
vanity to have the truth exposed. But I don't care who knows that the
passion was wholly on one side: and I never told her a lie about it. She
cannot accuse me of showing one bit of deceitful softness. The first
thing she saw me do, on coming out of the Grange, was to hang up her
little dog; and when she pleaded for it, the first words I uttered were a
wish that I had the hanging of every being belonging to her, except one:
possibly she took that exception for herself. But no brutality disgusted
her: I suppose she has an innate admiration of it, if only her precious
person were secure from injury! Now, was it not the depth of
absurdity--of genuine idiotcy, for that pitiful, slavish, mean-minded
brach to dream that I could love her? Tell your master, Nelly, that I
never, in all my life, met with such an abject thing as she is. She even
disgraces the name of Linton; and I've sometimes relented, from pure lack
of invention, in my experiments on what she could endure, and still creep
shamefully cringing back! But tell him, also, to set his fraternal and
magisterial heart at ease: that I keep strictly within the limits of the
law. I have avoided, up to this period, giving her the slightest right
to claim a separation; and, what's more, she'd thank nobody for dividing
us. If she desired to go, she might: the nuisance of her presence
outweighs the gratification to be derived from tormenting her! '

'Mr. Heathcliff,' said I, 'this is the talk of a madman; your wife, most
likely, is convinced you are mad; and, for that reason, she has borne
with you hitherto: but now that you say she may go, she'll doubtless
avail herself of the permission. You are not so bewitched, ma'am, are
you, as to remain with him of your own accord? '

'Take care, Ellen! ' answered Isabella, her eyes sparkling irefully; there
was no misdoubting by their expression the full success of her partner's
endeavours to make himself detested. 'Don't put faith in a single word
he speaks. He's a lying fiend! a monster, and not a human being! I've
been told I might leave him before; and I've made the attempt, but I dare
not repeat it! Only, Ellen, promise you'll not mention a syllable of his
infamous conversation to my brother or Catherine. Whatever he may
pretend, he wishes to provoke Edgar to desperation: he says he has
married me on purpose to obtain power over him; and he sha'n't obtain
it--I'll die first! I just hope, I pray, that he may forget his
diabolical prudence and kill me! The single pleasure I can imagine is to
die, or to see him dead! '

'There--that will do for the present! ' said Heathcliff. 'If you are
called upon in a court of law, you'll remember her language, Nelly! And
take a good look at that countenance: she's near the point which would
suit me. No; you're not fit to be your own guardian, Isabella, now; and
I, being your legal protector, must retain you in my custody, however
distasteful the obligation may be. Go up-stairs; I have something to say
to Ellen Dean in private. That's not the way: up-stairs, I tell you!
Why, this is the road upstairs, child! '

He seized, and thrust her from the room; and returned muttering--'I have
no pity! I have no pity! The more the worms writhe, the more I yearn to
crush out their entrails! It is a moral teething; and I grind with
greater energy in proportion to the increase of pain. '

'Do you understand what the word pity means?
' I said, hastening to resume
my bonnet. 'Did you ever feel a touch of it in your life? '

'Put that down! ' he interrupted, perceiving my intention to depart. 'You
are not going yet. Come here now, Nelly: I must either persuade or
compel you to aid me in fulfilling my determination to see Catherine, and
that without delay. I swear that I meditate no harm: I don't desire to
cause any disturbance, or to exasperate or insult Mr. Linton; I only wish
to hear from herself how she is, and why she has been ill; and to ask if
anything that I could do would be of use to her. Last night I was in the
Grange garden six hours, and I'll return there to-night; and every night
I'll haunt the place, and every day, till I find an opportunity of
entering. If Edgar Linton meets me, I shall not hesitate to knock him
down, and give him enough to insure his quiescence while I stay. If his
servants oppose me, I shall threaten them off with these pistols. But
wouldn't it be better to prevent my coming in contact with them, or their
master? And you could do it so easily. I'd warn you when I came, and
then you might let me in unobserved, as soon as she was alone, and watch
till I departed, your conscience quite calm: you would be hindering
mischief. '

I protested against playing that treacherous part in my employer's house:
and, besides, I urged the cruelty and selfishness of his destroying Mrs.
Linton's tranquillity for his satisfaction. 'The commonest occurrence
startles her painfully,' I said. 'She's all nerves, and she couldn't
bear the surprise, I'm positive. Don't persist, sir! or else I shall be
obliged to inform my master of your designs; and he'll take measures to
secure his house and its inmates from any such unwarrantable intrusions! '

'In that case I'll take measures to secure you, woman! ' exclaimed
Heathcliff; 'you shall not leave Wuthering Heights till to-morrow
morning. It is a foolish story to assert that Catherine could not bear
to see me; and as to surprising her, I don't desire it: you must prepare
her--ask her if I may come. You say she never mentions my name, and that
I am never mentioned to her. To whom should she mention me if I am a
forbidden topic in the house? She thinks you are all spies for her
husband. Oh, I've no doubt she's in hell among you! I guess by her
silence, as much as anything, what she feels. You say she is often
restless, and anxious-looking: is that a proof of tranquillity? You talk
of her mind being unsettled. How the devil could it be otherwise in her
frightful isolation? And that insipid, paltry creature attending her
from _duty_ and _humanity_! From _pity_ and _charity_! He might as well
plant an oak in a flower-pot, and expect it to thrive, as imagine he can
restore her to vigour in the soil of his shallow cares? Let us settle it
at once: will you stay here, and am I to fight my way to Catherine over
Linton and his footman? Or will you be my friend, as you have been
hitherto, and do what I request? Decide! because there is no reason for
my lingering another minute, if you persist in your stubborn ill-nature! '

Well, Mr. Lockwood, I argued and complained, and flatly refused him fifty
times; but in the long run he forced me to an agreement. I engaged to
carry a letter from him to my mistress; and should she consent, I
promised to let him have intelligence of Linton's next absence from home,
when he might come, and get in as he was able: I wouldn't be there, and
my fellow-servants should be equally out of the way. Was it right or
wrong? I fear it was wrong, though expedient. I thought I prevented
another explosion by my compliance; and I thought, too, it might create a
favourable crisis in Catherine's mental illness: and then I remembered
Mr. Edgar's stern rebuke of my carrying tales; and I tried to smooth away
all disquietude on the subject, by affirming, with frequent iteration,
that that betrayal of trust, if it merited so harsh an appellation,
should be the last. Notwithstanding, my journey homeward was sadder than
my journey thither; and many misgivings I had, ere I could prevail on
myself to put the missive into Mrs. Linton's hand.

But here is Kenneth; I'll go down, and tell him how much better you are.
My history is _dree_, as we say, and will serve to while away another
morning.

Dree, and dreary! I reflected as the good woman descended to receive the
doctor: and not exactly of the kind which I should have chosen to amuse
me. But never mind! I'll extract wholesome medicines from Mrs. Dean's
bitter herbs; and firstly, let me beware of the fascination that lurks in
Catherine Heathcliff's brilliant eyes. I should be in a curious taking
if I surrendered my heart to that young person, and the daughter turned
out a second edition of the mother.




CHAPTER XV


Another week over--and I am so many days nearer health, and spring! I
have now heard all my neighbour's history, at different sittings, as the
housekeeper could spare time from more important occupations. I'll
continue it in her own words, only a little condensed. She is, on the
whole, a very fair narrator, and I don't think I could improve her style.

In the evening, she said, the evening of my visit to the Heights, I knew,
as well as if I saw him, that Mr. Heathcliff was about the place; and I
shunned going out, because I still carried his letter in my pocket, and
didn't want to be threatened or teased any more. I had made up my mind
not to give it till my master went somewhere, as I could not guess how
its receipt would affect Catherine. The consequence was, that it did not
reach her before the lapse of three days. The fourth was Sunday, and I
brought it into her room after the family were gone to church. There was
a manservant left to keep the house with me, and we generally made a
practice of locking the doors during the hours of service; but on that
occasion the weather was so warm and pleasant that I set them wide open,
and, to fulfil my engagement, as I knew who would be coming, I told my
companion that the mistress wished very much for some oranges, and he
must run over to the village and get a few, to be paid for on the morrow.
He departed, and I went up-stairs.

Mrs. Linton sat in a loose white dress, with a light shawl over her
shoulders, in the recess of the open window, as usual. Her thick, long
hair had been partly removed at the beginning of her illness, and now she
wore it simply combed in its natural tresses over her temples and neck.
Her appearance was altered, as I had told Heathcliff; but when she was
calm, there seemed unearthly beauty in the change. The flash of her eyes
had been succeeded by a dreamy and melancholy softness; they no longer
gave the impression of looking at the objects around her: they appeared
always to gaze beyond, and far beyond--you would have said out of this
world. Then, the paleness of her face--its haggard aspect having
vanished as she recovered flesh--and the peculiar expression arising from
her mental state, though painfully suggestive of their causes, added to
the touching interest which she awakened; and--invariably to me, I know,
and to any person who saw her, I should think--refuted more tangible
proofs of convalescence, and stamped her as one doomed to decay.

A book lay spread on the sill before her, and the scarcely perceptible
wind fluttered its leaves at intervals. I believe Linton had laid it
there: for she never endeavoured to divert herself with reading, or
occupation of any kind, and he would spend many an hour in trying to
entice her attention to some subject which had formerly been her
amusement. She was conscious of his aim, and in her better moods endured
his efforts placidly, only showing their uselessness by now and then
suppressing a wearied sigh, and checking him at last with the saddest of
smiles and kisses. At other times, she would turn petulantly away, and
hide her face in her hands, or even push him off angrily; and then he
took care to let her alone, for he was certain of doing no good.

Gimmerton chapel bells were still ringing; and the full, mellow flow of
the beck in the valley came soothingly on the ear. It was a sweet
substitute for the yet absent murmur of the summer foliage, which drowned
that music about the Grange when the trees were in leaf. At Wuthering
Heights it always sounded on quiet days following a great thaw or a
season of steady rain. And of Wuthering Heights Catherine was thinking
as she listened: that is, if she thought or listened at all; but she had
the vague, distant look I mentioned before, which expressed no
recognition of material things either by ear or eye.

'There's a letter for you, Mrs. Linton,' I said, gently inserting it in
one hand that rested on her knee. 'You must read it immediately, because
it wants an answer. Shall I break the seal? ' 'Yes,' she answered,
without altering the direction of her eyes. I opened it--it was very
short. 'Now,' I continued, 'read it. ' She drew away her hand, and let
it fall. I replaced it in her lap, and stood waiting till it should
please her to glance down; but that movement was so long delayed that at
last I resumed--'Must I read it, ma'am? It is from Mr. Heathcliff. '

There was a start and a troubled gleam of recollection, and a struggle to
arrange her ideas. She lifted the letter, and seemed to peruse it; and
when she came to the signature she sighed: yet still I found she had not
gathered its import, for, upon my desiring to hear her reply, she merely
pointed to the name, and gazed at me with mournful and questioning
eagerness.

'Well, he wishes to see you,' said I, guessing her need of an
interpreter. 'He's in the garden by this time, and impatient to know
what answer I shall bring. '

As I spoke, I observed a large dog lying on the sunny grass beneath raise
its ears as if about to bark, and then smoothing them back, announce, by
a wag of the tail, that some one approached whom it did not consider a
stranger. Mrs. Linton bent forward, and listened breathlessly. The
minute after a step traversed the hall; the open house was too tempting
for Heathcliff to resist walking in: most likely he supposed that I was
inclined to shirk my promise, and so resolved to trust to his own
audacity. With straining eagerness Catherine gazed towards the entrance
of her chamber. He did not hit the right room directly: she motioned me
to admit him, but he found it out ere I could reach the door, and in a
stride or two was at her side, and had her grasped in his arms.

He neither spoke nor loosed his hold for some five minutes, during which
period he bestowed more kisses than ever he gave in his life before, I
daresay: but then my mistress had kissed him first, and I plainly saw
that he could hardly bear, for downright agony, to look into her face!
The same conviction had stricken him as me, from the instant he beheld
her, that there was no prospect of ultimate recovery there--she was
fated, sure to die.

'Oh, Cathy! Oh, my life! how can I bear it? ' was the first sentence he
uttered, in a tone that did not seek to disguise his despair. And now he
stared at her so earnestly that I thought the very intensity of his gaze
would bring tears into his eyes; but they burned with anguish: they did
not melt.

'What now? ' said Catherine, leaning back, and returning his look with a
suddenly clouded brow: her humour was a mere vane for constantly varying
caprices. 'You and Edgar have broken my heart, Heathcliff! And you both
come to bewail the deed to me, as if you were the people to be pitied! I
shall not pity you, not I. You have killed me--and thriven on it, I
think. How strong you are! How many years do you mean to live after I
am gone? '

Heathcliff had knelt on one knee to embrace her; he attempted to rise,
but she seized his hair, and kept him down.

'I wish I could hold you,' she continued, bitterly, 'till we were both
dead! I shouldn't care what you suffered. I care nothing for your
sufferings. Why shouldn't you suffer? I do! Will you forget me? Will
you be happy when I am in the earth? Will you say twenty years hence,
"That's the grave of Catherine Earnshaw? I loved her long ago, and was
wretched to lose her; but it is past. I've loved many others since: my
children are dearer to me than she was; and, at death, I shall not
rejoice that I am going to her: I shall be sorry that I must leave
them! " Will you say so, Heathcliff? '

'Don't torture me till I'm as mad as yourself,' cried he, wrenching his
head free, and grinding his teeth.

The two, to a cool spectator, made a strange and fearful picture. Well
might Catherine deem that heaven would be a land of exile to her, unless
with her mortal body she cast away her moral character also. Her present
countenance had a wild vindictiveness in its white cheek, and a bloodless
lip and scintillating eye; and she retained in her closed fingers a
portion of the locks she had been grasping. As to her companion, while
raising himself with one hand, he had taken her arm with the other; and
so inadequate was his stock of gentleness to the requirements of her
condition, that on his letting go I saw four distinct impressions left
blue in the colourless skin.

'Are you possessed with a devil,' he pursued, savagely, 'to talk in that
manner to me when you are dying? Do you reflect that all those words
will be branded in my memory, and eating deeper eternally after you have
left me? You know you lie to say I have killed you: and, Catherine, you
know that I could as soon forget you as my existence! Is it not
sufficient for your infernal selfishness, that while you are at peace I
shall writhe in the torments of hell? '

'I shall not be at peace,' moaned Catherine, recalled to a sense of
physical weakness by the violent, unequal throbbing of her heart, which
beat visibly and audibly under this excess of agitation. She said
nothing further till the paroxysm was over; then she continued, more
kindly--

'I'm not wishing you greater torment than I have, Heathcliff. I only
wish us never to be parted: and should a word of mine distress you
hereafter, think I feel the same distress underground, and for my own
sake, forgive me! Come here and kneel down again! You never harmed me
in your life. Nay, if you nurse anger, that will be worse to remember
than my harsh words! Won't you come here again? Do! '

Heathcliff went to the back of her chair, and leant over, but not so far
as to let her see his face, which was livid with emotion. She bent round
to look at him; he would not permit it: turning abruptly, he walked to
the fireplace, where he stood, silent, with his back towards us. Mrs.
Linton's glance followed him suspiciously: every movement woke a new
sentiment in her. After a pause and a prolonged gaze, she resumed;
addressing me in accents of indignant disappointment:--

'Oh, you see, Nelly, he would not relent a moment to keep me out of the
grave. _That_ is how I'm loved! Well, never mind. That is not _my_
Heathcliff. I shall love mine yet; and take him with me: he's in my
soul. And,' added she musingly, 'the thing that irks me most is this
shattered prison, after all. I'm tired of being enclosed here. I'm
wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there: not
seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of
an aching heart: but really with it, and in it. Nelly, you think you are
better and more fortunate than I; in full health and strength: you are
sorry for me--very soon that will be altered. I shall be sorry for
_you_. I shall be incomparably beyond and above you all. I _wonder_ he
won't be near me! ' She went on to herself. 'I thought he wished it.
Heathcliff, dear! you should not be sullen now. Do come to me,
Heathcliff. '

In her eagerness she rose and supported herself on the arm of the chair.
At that earnest appeal he turned to her, looking absolutely desperate.
His eyes, wide and wet, at last flashed fiercely on her; his breast
heaved convulsively. An instant they held asunder, and then how they met
I hardly saw, but Catherine made a spring, and he caught her, and they
were locked in an embrace from which I thought my mistress would never be
released alive: in fact, to my eyes, she seemed directly insensible. He
flung himself into the nearest seat, and on my approaching hurriedly to
ascertain if she had fainted, he gnashed at me, and foamed like a mad
dog, and gathered her to him with greedy jealousy. I did not feel as if
I were in the company of a creature of my own species: it appeared that
he would not understand, though I spoke to him; so I stood off, and held
my tongue, in great perplexity.

A movement of Catherine's relieved me a little presently: she put up her
hand to clasp his neck, and bring her cheek to his as he held her; while
he, in return, covering her with frantic caresses, said wildly--

'You teach me now how cruel you've been--cruel and false. _Why_ did you
despise me? _Why_ did you betray your own heart, Cathy? I have not one
word of comfort. You deserve this. You have killed yourself. Yes, you
may kiss me, and cry; and wring out my kisses and tears: they'll blight
you--they'll damn you. You loved me--then what _right_ had you to leave
me? What right--answer me--for the poor fancy you felt for Linton?
Because misery and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan
could inflict would have parted us, _you_, of your own will, did it. I
have not broken your heart--_you_ have broken it; and in breaking it, you
have broken mine. So much the worse for me that I am strong. Do I want
to live? What kind of living will it be when you--oh, God! would _you_
like to live with your soul in the grave? '

'Let me alone. Let me alone,' sobbed Catherine. 'If I've done wrong,
I'm dying for it. It is enough! You left me too: but I won't upbraid
you! I forgive you. Forgive me! '

'It is hard to forgive, and to look at those eyes, and feel those wasted
hands,' he answered. 'Kiss me again; and don't let me see your eyes! I
forgive what you have done to me. I love _my_ murderer--but _yours_! How
can I? '

They were silent--their faces hid against each other, and washed by each
other's tears. At least, I suppose the weeping was on both sides; as it
seemed Heathcliff could weep on a great occasion like this.