Her mind entered a
meditation
like the indestructible vajra.
Tarthang-Tulku-Mother-of-Knowledge-The-Enlightenment-of-Yeshe-Tsogyal
All the rocky
79
? --~------------~~~---------------
hills were bristling skeletons, and small loose bones strewn here and there served as pebbles.
"In the midst of that land stood a great castle formed of three types ofskulls-freshly severed, partly rotted, and totally dried up and free of flesh. Its roofwas covered with a sheath ofskin; the doors as well were made of skin. All around, for a distance of hundreds of thousands of miles, mountains of fire burned fiercely. A vajra formed a kind of tent above it all, and sharp weapons fell from the sky like lightning.
"Eight cemeteries formed a ring, rimmed by walls of beautiful lotuses. Predatory flesh-eating birds and wild blood-drinking animals wandered about, and demons and demonesses, roaming in great numbers, stood out vividly against the landscape.
"Although the beings there did not attack me or threaten me, neither did they make friendly overtures. As I advanced upwards, I passed along a path that circled in a zigzag fashion three times, and ended at a door. Within were many <Jakinis whose external appearance was that of women, but they were of many different colors. They were carrying offerings to present to the principal <Jakini.
"Some of the <Jakinis had cut their bodies into small pieces with razor-sharp knives and prepared offerings of their own flesh; others were giving their streaming blood. Some were giving their eyes, some their noses. Some were giving their tongues, still others, their ears. Some were giving their hearts, others were giving their viscera. Some were giving their outer muscles, some their inner organs. Still others were giving their bones and marrow.
"Some were giving their life energy, others, their breath, and still others, their heads. Some had cut off their limbs, and so on. They had cut up their own bodies and had prepared offerings of them for the principal <Jakini, who appeared Yab-Yum before them. The offerings were then blessed as signs of their faith.
"Then I asked the <Jakinis: 'Why do you suffer in this way? To what purpose? Ifone lives in accordance with the Dharma until death, is that not sufficient? ' And they answered me:
80
? ~~~----------------~~--------------------~~
'Dear woman of irresolute mind!
The compassion of a great teacher who has all the qualifications may only be available briefly.
If you do not offer whatever he wishes when he looks upon you, later nothing you do may lead to fulfillment.
If you procrastinate, obstacles will multiply.
'Your insight and certainty may lase only a moment;
natural and spontaneous faith may not stay long.
If you do not make the offering when Pristine Awareness arises, later nothing you do may lead co fulfillment.
If you procrastinate, obstacles will multiply.
'Now, at least, you have a human body- you may not have it long. The chance co practice the Dharma seldom arises;
ifyou do not make offerings when you meet the qualified teacher- if you procrastinate-obstacles will multiply.
'The teacher may only be here briefly;
only now can you be certain co enter the door of the secret teachings. If you do not offer yourself
when you have access to the highest Dharma-
if you procrastinate-obstacles will multiply. '
"Thus they spoke, and I felt ashamed. Then, as each <Jakini presented her offering, the Vaj ra Yogini appeared before her, snapping her fingers. Instantly, each supplicant was healed and became as before. After requesting a regular Dharma practice from the principal <Jakini, each one returned to her own meditation place. They did twelve sessions of meditation each day.
"Next, a gatekeeper appeared ac each of the gates, and the Vajra<Jakini appeared in the very center in the midst of flames, her guise so brilliant it was difficult to look upon her.
"I saw many ocher different lands such as chis, but as they are de- scribed elsewhere, I will not transcribe them here for fear of making the text too long. "
81
? ----------------~~~------------
As mTsho-rgyallater explained, she then met with Guru Rinpoche and told him the story of her visions. She asked him the significance of such experiences, saying: "As I wish to do such difficult practices, would you please give me the necessary vows? "
Guru Rinpoche replied: "What you saw were merely symbolic ex- periences. It is not now necessary for you to do such arduous prac- tices, offering your flesh and so forth. Just follow the disciplines I will give you now:
"Listen, Goddess mTsho-rgyal-ma!
Watch and listen undistracted, Irresistible Lady.
Seek to attain the Golden Tree,
the precious jewel-like human body.
If you understand how to use it, you will have food forever- if not, you may not have even one day's breakfast.
Without understanding this, you will starve to death.
But if you can do as you promise, all will go well.
"Take the healing essence of herb, nectar, and mineral, and then eat the food of air:
This is the discipline of food.
"Wear cotton cloth, wear bone ornaments, and then go naked without adornments, relying on the gtum-mo breathing:
This is the discipline of dress.
"Practice invocation, sadhanas, Dharma activity, mantras, energy flow, and silence-abandon idle talk:
This is the discipline of speech.
"Do prostrations and circumambulations, purify your body, and adopt the lotus position- remain calm and composed:
This is the discipline of body.
"Practice vitality, bliss, and openness, the Developing and Perfecting Stages-
82
? ~~--------------~~~--------------
meditate upon their unity: This is the discipline of mind.
"Adhere to the Buddha's teachings, guard the doctrine, practice skillful means-teach, debate, and write:
This is the discipline of teaching.
"Benefit others, be benevolent,
hold to the Mahayana aspiration of immeasurable compassion without regard for your own life:
This is the discipline of benefitting others.
"Regard your enemies as your sons- look at gold as if it were clay,
love others more than you do yourself: This is the discipline of compassion. ?
"When you act like this, you practice the Buddhadharma:
You will perfect the most sublime wonder-Great Bliss.
If you do not act this way, you cast your lot in with the heretics: Your discipline will be the same as theirs.
"Daughter of mKhar-chen bza', understand this and use it well. "
So he spoke, and mTsho-rgyal vowed to fulfill the eight great disci- plines as taught by the Guru:
"What a great wonder!
To this unhappy land came the Buddha's teaching;
to this land of darkness came the clear burning crystal lamp. To Tibet, land of demons, came the Lord of Orgyan,
and beings who lacked the Dharma
felt the rain of the pure teachings.
"I feel the same wonder
as when the troubled looked up and found good fortune, when the actual Buddha appeared
and performed his deeds at Vajrasana.
How can I repay the Guru's kindness
which liberates us from samsara?
83
? --------------~~--------------~
"Now I, the lady mTsho-rgyal,
have entered the door of the esoteric teachings- yes, even the door of the secret mandalas.
"I would rather die
than break my promises to you in any way,
or disgrace the eight great disciplines.
I will disregard my body, my fate, my life;
I will consider only the teachings of the Jetsun Guru.
"I would rather die
than compromise my commitment to the Dharma. I will disregard food, drink, and clothing;
with body, speech, and mind,
I will care only for what benefits the Buddha,
the Dharma, and sentient beings.
"I will care for others more than for myself, and fulfill the eight compassionate tasks.
I will certainly not take this practice lightly, or neglect the essential teachings. "
She made the gesture of promise three times and solemnly vowed to practice the eight disciplines. Padmasambhava was most pleased and gave some final instructions and prophesies. Then he returned to the king's sanctuary.
The lady began by practicing the discipline of dress with gtum-mo exercises. She climbed to the mountain heights near Ti-sgro and found a cave lying between the icy glaciers and the forested mountain slopes. Wearing only one piece ofcotton doth, she settled down to practice for one year.
. At first, the heat ofgtum-mo did not arise in her body. Outside, the icy winds of the new year were blowing; snow fell heavily and hoarfrost blanketed the world. mTsho-rgyal could barely continue. Acarya Sa-le had gone with Guru Rinpoche to serve him, and she was absolutely alone. But the promise she had made strengthened her resolve, and she continued to meditate.
84
? ~-------------------~~~----------------~~
Her whole body became covered with blisters from the cold, and sharp, stabbing pains ran through her. Her breath came in short, choking gasps; she was near death. But mTsho-rgyal visualized the
Jetsun Guru in her mind and prayed to him:
"Orgyan Dharma Lord, Protector of Beings,
look upon me with the sunlight ofyour compassion!
Your daughter is naked, friendless, all alone.
This terrible cave is dark, and freezing winds blow through it. When the blizzard rages outside, whose daughter am I?
"My stone bed is hard and cold as ice.
Like a rock, I cannot do anything.
Inside or outside the cave, there is no difference-
this white cotton cloth is useless.
Bless me with the warm sunlight ofyour compassion! Please help me kindle the gtum-mo heat! "
As she prayed, her karmic energies became slightly altered, and this small change was enough to allow the gtum-mo heat to rise. mTsho- rgyal felt an overwhelming and spontaneous confidence toward her teacher and prayed:
"When the teacher with all the qualifications
bestowed upon me the pure essence-
the powerful grace of the Vajrayana, the esoteric teachings-
! felt the pristine wisdom ofVajrasattva,
and the Four Great Joys danced in my heart.
Then the White-dressed One, the Fire l)akini, rose up within me, and sublime warmth and bliss came forth.
Now I am wondrously happy!
Please continue to show your kindness! "
Just as these thoughts occurred to her, the Orgyan Lama himself appeared before her in the form of a Heruka, handed her a skull cup of beer, and disappeared.
As Ye-shes mTsho-rgyallater explained: "I continued to experience ever-increasing warmth and bliss. I felt joyful and happy. My body,
85
? ~-~----------------~~~-------------------~
before so cold and miserable, changed as completely as a snake losing its skin.
"Now I decided the time had come for donning the bone garlands, so I set aside my cotton cloth and put on garments ofbone. I integrated the three facets of meditation for this stage, and practiced this disci- pline for one year. At this time, all my food supplies were gone; not even a grain of barley remained. For sustenance I relied upon mineral substances and drank only water. And I continued to meditate.
"Sometimes I had powerful visions of past lives and other striking experiences, but I became weaker and weaker. My legs could no longer support my body; my body could no longer support my head. I could barely breathe, and even my mind became weak. Growing worse, I came to the brink of death. But then again I called upon my teacher, propitiated my yidam, and continuously visualized a stream of offerings to the qakinis. I prayed:
'From the beginning I have given my body to the Lama; whatever will happen, happiness or misery,
the lama knows.
'From the beginning I have given my speech to the pure Dharma; whether my breath will continue to flow or not,
only you now know.
'From the beginning I have directed my mind toward virtue; whether it is virtuous or not,
only you now know.
'From the beginning my body has been a citadel for the yidam; whether he wishes to abide there or not,
only you now know.
'From the beginning my patterning and energy have been a conduit for the qakini;
whether she wishes to enter this path,
only you now know.
'From the beginning my vitality has been the essence of the Sugata;
86
? --------------~~------------
will I pass beyond misery or turn the Wheel of the Dharma?
I have watched sentient beings, my mothers,
unceasingly wander in confusion.
Whether I, your daughter, find samsara or nirvana, you decide. '
"When I had spoken these words, a red lady, completely naked and lacking even bone ornaments, appeared before me. She placed her bhaga to my mouth, and blood flowed from it, which I drank ofdeeply. Then it seemed that all the realms were filled with bliss! Strength equal to that of a lion returned to me. I experienced a meditation of complete transcendence without any attributes at all.
"Now I felt the time had come to sit naked and rely on the food of air. Thus I practiced for one year, wearing no garments and no orna- ments, nourished only by the pure air.
"At first, bliss accompanied the coming and going of my breath. I had various kinds of clear and visionary experiences, and creative and penetrating awareness arose unimpeded.
"But after a while, doubts assailed my mind. My breath became unstable, and I could not control it. My throat became dry and rough, my nose and throat felt as if they were stuffed with cotton; my stomach, growling and filled with gas, gave me great pain. Once more, I came close to death.
"Collecting myself with great effort, I called upon Guru Rinpoche, singing: 'Innumerable times your daughter has assumed bodily form and wandered in samsara. I have suffered in the harsh states of being, surrounded by birth and death, distraught with heat and cold, hunger and thirst, yet I have endured.
'The most important possession is a human body.
The shortest path is the esoteric teachings;
the quickest method is difficult practice.
Although this is almost unbearable, what else is there to do? There is no end to my vow:
I will still continue to practice the disciplines- ! will be mTsho-rgyal of the Heart-bone!
87
? ~--------------~~~----------------
'Wonderful magically lotus-born Tulku,
Self-arisen lama, Teacher of Orgyan,
compassionate and mighty one!
Your wonderful diamond body is a mandala of the Rainbow Body. Please look with compassion on beings with ordinary bodies! Will you help my poor inferior body?
Whatever happens to this physical form, wherever you may be, please look upon me with love and compassion. '
"As soon as I spoke, Padmasambhava appeared to me in the midst of shining light, smiling radiantly. He sat down in the air itself, only an arm's length away, and said to me:
'Listen well, daughter of the lineage,
daughter of mKhar-chen bza'!
When you were the daughter of a king,
you cared only for finery and pleasure,
and could bear no misfortune at all.
Now is the time to be unconcerned
whether you meet happiness or misery on the path. Whatever comes, suffering or Great Bliss, carry on! Do not crave bliss.
Be devoted, virtuous, and humble.
'Listen well, daughter of mKhar-chen bza'!
When you were the young wife of a king,
how proud you were-
you were fettered by your own desires.
Now is the time to give up all activities and needs. Meditate on impermanence
and think about the suffering of the lower realms. Do not have great desires.
Be devoted, virtuous, and humble.
'Listen well, daughter of mKhar-chen bza'! When you were the consort of the lama, how egotistical you were-
your position meant so much to you. Now is the time to reject your old faults;
88
? ----------------~~------------
do not hide them but constantly tear them out. Do not wish for fame.
Be devoted, virtuous, and humble.
'Listen well, daughter of mKhar-chen bza'! How proud you were of following the Dharma, how crafty and deceitful you were-
before you were only a hypocrite.
Now is the time to reject all artifice and sham; do not hold back, but show your perseverance. Do not dwell on what you have done.
Be devoted, virtuous, and humble. '
"Then Padmasambhava came down to earth and sat upon a large rock. He continued: 'Now, there is something more for you to do. Carefully extract the essence from plants and herbs, and use these to cleanse your awareness, stimulate your creativity, and restore your body.
" 'I, Padmasambhava, exist only for the benefit of beings. From be- ginningless time, I have hidden many precious and sacred Dharma teachings. These are inexhaustible and will continue into the future until samsara is completely emptied of beings. Later, I must go to the rNga-yab l)akini Island. You, my lady, must take pains to procure all my profound treasures, so tomorrow I will open for you the many mandalas of the highest Mantrayana. The time has come to work for the benefit of beings; make such preparations as I direct you. ' He gave
me many detailed teachings, and then departed. "
As mTsho-rgyal later explained, after meeting Acarya Sa-le and his friend, the girl named bDe-ba-mo, she led them to the three Lion Lair Caves of Bhutan to practice. First, they went to the Lair of the Lion's Mouth and extracted the essence from medicinal plants and minerals. Then mTsho-rgyal sought for just the right minerals, especially the white cong-zhi 'essence of all minerals', and distilled its healing prop- erties. Her body became as strong as a vajra and impervious to weapons. Her speech became clear and melodious, its sound so sooth- ing it calmed even the proud tigress.
Her mind entered a meditation like the indestructible vajra.
89
? --~------------~~~--------------s
mTsho-rgyal now felt in her heart that the time had come to practice the arduous discipline ofspeech. First she prayed over and over again to purify all obscurations involved with speech. She practiced a very long time, doing Dharma sadhanas uninterruptedly, day and night, with never a break in the sound of her chanting.
In the beginning, she practiced the one-hundred-syllable mantra and other mantras of the Rig-sngags, as well as those of the gZungs-sngags. She also took up the expiatory and purification practices of the Kriya, Carya, and Yoga Tantras.
Next, she practiced the teachings of the five Buddha families and the three deities, Avalokitdvara, VajrapaQi, and Maiijusri, and the related teachings, chanting the gZungs-sngags of the Upa and Yoga mandalas.
Finally, she recited the Siitras by heart and recited confessions and vows. She behaved in the manner set forth by the Vinaya, and practiced the teachings of Amitayus. In order to make her mind sharp and clear, she strove to completely master the Abhidharma, logic, epistemology, and soon.
At first her voice stammered. Her throat was tom so that great quantities of blood and pus frothed forth; she felt a searing pain in her esophagus, and it became twisted, hard, and dry, swollen with blood and pus. Again she came close to dying.
But in the end, at whatever length she wished to speak, she felt no discomfort. The sound of her voice was always beautiful, the words clear and appropriate, the rhythm musical and pleasing. She could speak at any pitch, high, medium, or low; she could talk very fast or very slow or at a moderate rate. She thus developed complete control over her voice, and it responded exactly as she desired. In short, she developed all the sixty different. fine qualities of voice. She also per- fected the seven powers of complete retention.
mTsho-rgyal opened the eight Heruka mandalas in the manner of the Mahayoga Tantras and practiced until she clearly saw the faces ofall the deities. When the practice was perfected, mTsho-rgyal and the deities were no longer separate entities but had become one. As she sat
90
? ----------------~~---------------=
cross-legged in the lotus position, her hands placed for meditation, many different deities appeared before her. Rays of light flashed above her, and other auspicious signs occurred.
After a time, her yidam came to her and made the prediction: "You will develop both the ordinary and the eight great siddhis. Your ac- complishments will be as indestructible as the vajra, and you will at- tain the dPa'-bar 'gro-ba'i ting-nge-'dzin, 'the Heroic Samadhi'. In the end, you will be completely liberated and enter the expanse of the All-good. This is my prophecy. "
Then mTsho-rgyal opened the mandala of the Bla-ma dgongs-pa 'dus-pa and practiced according to the instructions of the Anuyoga Tantras. Having prepared herself through proper meditation, mantra, and breathing, she considered her own body the central figure of the dGongs-pa 'dus-pa mandala. Thus meditating, she perfectly under- stood the essence of patterning, energy flow, and vitality, and took it to heart.
At first, there was great agony from the inversion of the energy flow and the stiffening of the vitality. The pain in the pattern of energy channels brought her near to death. But though her suffering was enormous, mTsho-rgyal still practiced without judging the experience as harmful.
And after a time, many different deities appeared before her. She de- veloped complete control over the pattern, energy, and vitality of her life and severed forever the four currents of birth, old age, sickness, and death. She became a great and powerful siddha indeed. "I will never be able to repay the Guru's kindness," she thought, and sang:
"Wonderful! Guru, Lord, Padmasambhava, I bow to you.
"You, Guru Rinpoche, turned this pile ofatoms accumulated since time began
into a king of mountains!
I am that Sumeru.
Now I think perhaps I can help others- come, virtuous Indra, and be my patron!
91
? ~~--------------~~----------------~
Perhaps some, living deep in ravines, have not the karma, but the great Guardian Kings
and those residing in heaven realms
will find happiness, satisfaction, and bliss!
"You, Guru Rinpoche, transformed all the drops of water fallen in the ocean since time began
into seven enchanted lakes!
I am that ocean.
Now I think perhaps I can help others-
come, happy virtuous ones, and be my patrons! Perhaps a few fish and frogs in murky ponds have not the karma, but the eight nagas
and those residing deep in the naga palaces will find happiness, satisfaction, and bliss!
"You, Guru Rinpoche, have taught
inconceivable qualities to the powerful Munis
who have accumulated merit since time began.
I am one such powerful Muni.
Now I think perhaps I can help others-
come, lordly men and Dharma Kings, and be my patrons! Perhaps some beings in barbarous regions
have not the karma, but the Sravakas
and those residing in this realm
will find happiness, satisfaction, and bliss!
"You, Guru Rinpoche, transformed
all the fruits of virtue gathered since time began
into a wondrous human being!
I am that girl.
Now I think perhaps I can help others-
come, lucky children, and be my patrons!
Perhaps some with wrong views and evil ways
cannot follow the Dharma, but those with faith,
the Tibetan folk and all others in the world, will find bliss! "
Then mTsho-rgyal went on extracting medicinal nectar from the hundred and eight healing plants and herbs. Representatives of the
92
? --~------------~~~--------------S
four types of siddhas and the four medicine goddesses circled round her, one hundred and eight in all. Each of the medicine goddesses held a vase with healing nectar of singular power, and they offered them to mTsho-rgyal, praising her in this song:
"Wonderful!
Though a human girl, you bear the marks of excellence! You were our sister in a former life, in a time of gods. Your pure aspirations were a sufficient cause
to bring you great Pristine Awareness.
You led the gandharvas with sounds of lutes,
and so we praise you,
wondrous mTsho-rgyal, Sarasvati!
"Then when the Dharma Wheel of the Great Muni turned, your purity was sufficient cause
for you to become a Srivaka nun.
You led all beings with the eye of compassion-
and so we praise you, mTsho-rgyal, Goddess of the River Ganges.
"Now the great Vajradhara has arisen from a lotus,
and the Dharma Wheel turns by his methods,
opening the secret doors that combine all Mahayana teachings. You practiced the disciplines for the sake of all beings,
and so we praise you, mTsho-rgyal!
"All things come from the expanse of the mind.
Distilling the essence of poisons and herbs,
you drank deeply of the nectar;
and now you bear the marks ofeternal youth.
Praise to you, enlightened mother of all beings of the three times!
"Driving out disease and evil,
you cure beings with the best medicine,
the nectar of deathlessness.
Mother of all good qualities, goddess of healing, is that not you, mTsho-rgyal? "
Then they all rose up into the sky. Shortly afterwards, a young human girl, Khye-'dren, arrived and offered mTsho-rgyal a large
93
? ~=~----------------~~~------------------~~
amount of honey. Thus she was blessed with the power of both inner and outer good omens.
After eating the honey, mTsho-rgyal began the discipline of the body. First she did circumambulations, then she did prostrations. She practiced day and night, until her forehead, the palms of her hands, and the soles of her feet developed open sores and were worn to the bone. A great stream of blood and pus flowed from the sores, yet mTsho-rgyal continued to do these and countless other physical practices as indi- cated in the texts.
At first her body was painful and unresponsive; she felt completely exhausted. The joints of her hands became inflamed and swollen, twisted and painful as if diseased by arthritis. Her veins became distended and varicosed, and various symptoms spread and increased so that she was terribly weakened.
But eventually, mTsho-rgyal did cleanse her body; all conditions due to impurity dispersed, and she rejoiced. Her vitality supported the natural flow of Pristine Awareness. The knots in her veins and channels were untied, her joints became straight, her crookedness was cured, her sores healed and covered over. Every part of her body worked in an orderly and healthy fashion. She had established the foundation for realizing the esoteric teachings.
mTsho-rgyal continued to practice in isolated wilderness caves, such as the one at Seng-ge Ne-ring. Having made the commitment to meditate, without speaking, without moving, she sat erect in the full-lotus posture, her gaze never wandering, her posture never slouching.
The brilliance and power of mTsho-rgyal's meditation was unbear- able to the regional gods and malignant spirits. They flocked to her in peaceful and wrathful forms, with and without corporeal bodies, and taunted her with strange visions. At first, all kinds of food appeared before her, one thing after another; then clothing, horses, and even elephants appeared. All sorts of worldly goods manifested apparition- ally before her.
94
? ----------------~~--------------
But mTsho-rgyal subdued them all by the power of her meditation. Some of these things disappeared as soon as she saw their illusory nature, others disappeared merely because of her indifference to worldly things. Some she transformed by her meditation into earth and stones and the like. Some things, such as food and riches, she wished to be hidden away for the country's future use, and this was accomplished.
On another occasion, there appeared before her agroup ofattractive young men-youths with beautiful faces and smooth skin, sweet- smelling, wonderfully formed, quite tangible and thoroughly enticing. First, they respectfully addressed her as 'Mother' and 'Lady'. But soon they began to talk of sex and spoke to her by name, saying 'mTsho- rgyal, girl', as they tried to seduce her, sometimes being passionate, some~imes merry and playful.
Gradually they revealed themselves, saying: "Girl, wouldn't you like this for yourself? Wouldn't you like to milk it? " and that sort ofthing. "Wouldn't you like me to embrace you? Or stroke your breasts or between your legs? Wouldn't you like me to kiss you? " So they went on, suggesting various acts of passion, trying to excite her.
The brilliance of her meditation overcame some of them, and they disappeared. Some of them she meditated upon as illusory-and as they were deceptive creations, they disappeared when she told them to. Some of them she contemplated as hindrances to the Bodhisattva mind, and then they changed into black corpses. Some became old and crippled, while others became lepers. Some turned blind or lame or mute or fiercely ugly. Finally, they all vanished.
Then very wrathful forms appeared. The earth shook back and forth, and there was a noise greater than one thousand thunderclaps sounding at once. Lightning, flashing through the total darkness, sent bright streaks darting across the sky. Moving white lights blazed; red lights flickered on and off; yellow lights whirled about; smoky blue lights drew them all together, and iridescent lights zigzagged here and there. This dizzying display was hard to endure.
Next, mTsho-rgyal saw weapons-daggers and spears of many kinds, keen and shining. Sharp translucent blue blades stabbed and crossed
95
? =-------------~~-------------
and darted around in a most unbearable fashion. But all these mani- festations mTsho-rgyal controlled by the power of her meditation, thinking that though she be cut to pieces or killed, she would not be afraid. Finally, because of the power of her mind, they all disappeared.
A few days later, packs of tigers and leopards, bears and hyenas, and all sorts of other wild animals came prowling. Growling ferociously they stalked around the cave and blocked the entrance. Then, howling and screaming, they advanced into the cave-filling die pas- sageway, prowling to the left and right and in front of her. Some, driven by hunger, widened their mouths to show their fangs. Threat- ening mTsho-rgyal, they twitched their tails upon the ground and
clawed the dirt, their bodies trembling, their hair bristling and stand- ing on end. But she considered how terribly attached these animals were to their physical bodies and felt great compassion for them, and they all disappeared.
Then, like a great army converging upon that place, millions upon millions of worms and insects and other crawling things, such as spiders and scorpions and snakes, swarmed over everything. Some of them filled her sense organs; some bit and stung and scratched her as they crawled onto her. Some jumped upon her; others attacked each other, tossing bits of their bodies about as they ate. All sorts of strange and magical forms appeared. But mTsho-rgyal just trembled a little and felt compassion rise up in her mind. As the forms became more and more angry and frightful, raging around her, mTsho-rgyal thought:
"Many times I have vowed to be unattached to anything associated with body, speech, or mind. All these sentient beings, worms and other crawling things, arise continuously, increasingly, and abundantly from karmic forces. Why should I tremble with fear before such magical manifestations of the elements? I must remember that all activity is the result ofgood and bad thoughts. Therefore, whatever may arise, either good or bad, I will recognize as dualistic mental activity and be un- concerned. " Having come to this profound realization, she said:
"All phenomenal existence
is merely the magical manifestation of mind.
96
? ----------------~~--------------~
I see nothing to fear in all the expanse of space. Therefore, all of this must be self-arising luminance. How could there ever be anything other than this?
All these activities are only ornaments of my own being. Better that I rest in meditative silence. "
After saying this, she entered a meditative state that was completely quiet, without any discrimination of good or evil. And all the appari- tions disappeared.
But later, more strange forms appeared, ugly, vague, and fearful visions, moving here and there. Disembodied arms and hands whirled about. A great bodiless head appeared, its upper jaw in the sky, its lower jaw resting on the ground. Its tongue curled and darted in the space between, and its sharp, white, tusk-like teeth advanced closer and closer.
Within a palace as small as a mustard seed, she saw many men arguing and fighting. A great fire was raging, water was rushing forth, rocks were avalanching, and trees were falling in a hurricane wind. But mTsho-rgyal entered the Vajra-like Sam:idhi and remained unmoved, and all these forms disappeared.
Next, from E in lower Nepal up to Ja' in upper Bhutan, a great army of gods and demons of the border tribes of Klo-yul, Kha-khra, and rKang-khra raged. Some wept, and others howled. Some were wailing, others screaming. Above mTsho-rgyal's head, thunder roared, and below her feet, fires burned. In between, a great flood of water rushed forth, and sharp weapons swirled about like a strange blizzard. All sorts of hindrances and obstacles arose.
But mTsh\}-rgyal meditated intensely, expanded her awareness, and sharpened her wisdom. Again, she felt imperishable faith arise and sang:
"How wonderful!
I have reached the stage of realization- realization of the Dharmak:iya,
the Enlightened Mind of the Great Mother,
97
? --------------~~--------------~
Essence of the Ten Perfections.
Acting within the deepest discriminating wisdom,
I have no fear of phenomenal appearances.
Whatever arises is the magic play of Dharmakaya,
and these manifestations are the compassion of the Lama. So stir up some more of these creations!
"How wonderful!
I have reached the stage of realization-
realization of the All-good, the Lama,
Essence of vision, meditation, and fruit.
Acting spontaneously with whatever arises,
I have no fear of divisive concepts.
Whatever arises is the magical play of cognition,
and discursive thoughts are the compassion of the Lama. So stir up some more of these creations!
"How wonderful!
I have reached the stage of realization-
realization of the Lotus Lama,
Essence of the profound, far-reaching Ati.
With the unblemished activity of my own mind,
I do not dwell on defilements.
Stains and such are the magical play of reality itself, and all ways of seeing are the compassion of the Lama. So stir up some more of these creations!
"How wonderful!
I have reached the perfect place-
the practice of the girl mTsho-rgyal,
the essence of the supreme Mantrayana vehicle. Pleasure and pain have the same taste,
so why should I choose good or bad,
rejecting this or that experience?
All appearances are the compassion of the Lama, so stir up some more of these creations! "
As she finished her song, great armies ofgods and demons gathered from Tibet, China, and Nepal. Their generals took the fore-black, red,
98
? ----------------~~~--------
and blue they were. Again and again, using many different means, they manipulated the environment, creating all kinds of obstacles. They incited the human inhabitants, insulting and sneering at them. The smoke created by these gods and demons darkened all of Bhutan so that no one could tell day from night. Disorder reigned, and chaos prevailed-lightning, hail, and rain descended, disease and pestilence spread, confusion ruled, and great misery pervaded the land. Every- one was asking what could be the cause of such disaster.
"Why is this happening? " the people asked. One Bhutani who had seen mTsho-rgyal spoke up: "In a distant cave on a rocky site sits a Tibetan woman as if deaf and dumb. Perhaps she has been doing improper practices, and that has caused all this trouble. "
After some discussion, they decided that she must be killed and set off in a group. Upon arriving at the cave, they called out to mTsho- rgyal: "You corpse-like Tibetan demoness!
79
? --~------------~~~---------------
hills were bristling skeletons, and small loose bones strewn here and there served as pebbles.
"In the midst of that land stood a great castle formed of three types ofskulls-freshly severed, partly rotted, and totally dried up and free of flesh. Its roofwas covered with a sheath ofskin; the doors as well were made of skin. All around, for a distance of hundreds of thousands of miles, mountains of fire burned fiercely. A vajra formed a kind of tent above it all, and sharp weapons fell from the sky like lightning.
"Eight cemeteries formed a ring, rimmed by walls of beautiful lotuses. Predatory flesh-eating birds and wild blood-drinking animals wandered about, and demons and demonesses, roaming in great numbers, stood out vividly against the landscape.
"Although the beings there did not attack me or threaten me, neither did they make friendly overtures. As I advanced upwards, I passed along a path that circled in a zigzag fashion three times, and ended at a door. Within were many <Jakinis whose external appearance was that of women, but they were of many different colors. They were carrying offerings to present to the principal <Jakini.
"Some of the <Jakinis had cut their bodies into small pieces with razor-sharp knives and prepared offerings of their own flesh; others were giving their streaming blood. Some were giving their eyes, some their noses. Some were giving their tongues, still others, their ears. Some were giving their hearts, others were giving their viscera. Some were giving their outer muscles, some their inner organs. Still others were giving their bones and marrow.
"Some were giving their life energy, others, their breath, and still others, their heads. Some had cut off their limbs, and so on. They had cut up their own bodies and had prepared offerings of them for the principal <Jakini, who appeared Yab-Yum before them. The offerings were then blessed as signs of their faith.
"Then I asked the <Jakinis: 'Why do you suffer in this way? To what purpose? Ifone lives in accordance with the Dharma until death, is that not sufficient? ' And they answered me:
80
? ~~~----------------~~--------------------~~
'Dear woman of irresolute mind!
The compassion of a great teacher who has all the qualifications may only be available briefly.
If you do not offer whatever he wishes when he looks upon you, later nothing you do may lead to fulfillment.
If you procrastinate, obstacles will multiply.
'Your insight and certainty may lase only a moment;
natural and spontaneous faith may not stay long.
If you do not make the offering when Pristine Awareness arises, later nothing you do may lead co fulfillment.
If you procrastinate, obstacles will multiply.
'Now, at least, you have a human body- you may not have it long. The chance co practice the Dharma seldom arises;
ifyou do not make offerings when you meet the qualified teacher- if you procrastinate-obstacles will multiply.
'The teacher may only be here briefly;
only now can you be certain co enter the door of the secret teachings. If you do not offer yourself
when you have access to the highest Dharma-
if you procrastinate-obstacles will multiply. '
"Thus they spoke, and I felt ashamed. Then, as each <Jakini presented her offering, the Vaj ra Yogini appeared before her, snapping her fingers. Instantly, each supplicant was healed and became as before. After requesting a regular Dharma practice from the principal <Jakini, each one returned to her own meditation place. They did twelve sessions of meditation each day.
"Next, a gatekeeper appeared ac each of the gates, and the Vajra<Jakini appeared in the very center in the midst of flames, her guise so brilliant it was difficult to look upon her.
"I saw many ocher different lands such as chis, but as they are de- scribed elsewhere, I will not transcribe them here for fear of making the text too long. "
81
? ----------------~~~------------
As mTsho-rgyallater explained, she then met with Guru Rinpoche and told him the story of her visions. She asked him the significance of such experiences, saying: "As I wish to do such difficult practices, would you please give me the necessary vows? "
Guru Rinpoche replied: "What you saw were merely symbolic ex- periences. It is not now necessary for you to do such arduous prac- tices, offering your flesh and so forth. Just follow the disciplines I will give you now:
"Listen, Goddess mTsho-rgyal-ma!
Watch and listen undistracted, Irresistible Lady.
Seek to attain the Golden Tree,
the precious jewel-like human body.
If you understand how to use it, you will have food forever- if not, you may not have even one day's breakfast.
Without understanding this, you will starve to death.
But if you can do as you promise, all will go well.
"Take the healing essence of herb, nectar, and mineral, and then eat the food of air:
This is the discipline of food.
"Wear cotton cloth, wear bone ornaments, and then go naked without adornments, relying on the gtum-mo breathing:
This is the discipline of dress.
"Practice invocation, sadhanas, Dharma activity, mantras, energy flow, and silence-abandon idle talk:
This is the discipline of speech.
"Do prostrations and circumambulations, purify your body, and adopt the lotus position- remain calm and composed:
This is the discipline of body.
"Practice vitality, bliss, and openness, the Developing and Perfecting Stages-
82
? ~~--------------~~~--------------
meditate upon their unity: This is the discipline of mind.
"Adhere to the Buddha's teachings, guard the doctrine, practice skillful means-teach, debate, and write:
This is the discipline of teaching.
"Benefit others, be benevolent,
hold to the Mahayana aspiration of immeasurable compassion without regard for your own life:
This is the discipline of benefitting others.
"Regard your enemies as your sons- look at gold as if it were clay,
love others more than you do yourself: This is the discipline of compassion. ?
"When you act like this, you practice the Buddhadharma:
You will perfect the most sublime wonder-Great Bliss.
If you do not act this way, you cast your lot in with the heretics: Your discipline will be the same as theirs.
"Daughter of mKhar-chen bza', understand this and use it well. "
So he spoke, and mTsho-rgyal vowed to fulfill the eight great disci- plines as taught by the Guru:
"What a great wonder!
To this unhappy land came the Buddha's teaching;
to this land of darkness came the clear burning crystal lamp. To Tibet, land of demons, came the Lord of Orgyan,
and beings who lacked the Dharma
felt the rain of the pure teachings.
"I feel the same wonder
as when the troubled looked up and found good fortune, when the actual Buddha appeared
and performed his deeds at Vajrasana.
How can I repay the Guru's kindness
which liberates us from samsara?
83
? --------------~~--------------~
"Now I, the lady mTsho-rgyal,
have entered the door of the esoteric teachings- yes, even the door of the secret mandalas.
"I would rather die
than break my promises to you in any way,
or disgrace the eight great disciplines.
I will disregard my body, my fate, my life;
I will consider only the teachings of the Jetsun Guru.
"I would rather die
than compromise my commitment to the Dharma. I will disregard food, drink, and clothing;
with body, speech, and mind,
I will care only for what benefits the Buddha,
the Dharma, and sentient beings.
"I will care for others more than for myself, and fulfill the eight compassionate tasks.
I will certainly not take this practice lightly, or neglect the essential teachings. "
She made the gesture of promise three times and solemnly vowed to practice the eight disciplines. Padmasambhava was most pleased and gave some final instructions and prophesies. Then he returned to the king's sanctuary.
The lady began by practicing the discipline of dress with gtum-mo exercises. She climbed to the mountain heights near Ti-sgro and found a cave lying between the icy glaciers and the forested mountain slopes. Wearing only one piece ofcotton doth, she settled down to practice for one year.
. At first, the heat ofgtum-mo did not arise in her body. Outside, the icy winds of the new year were blowing; snow fell heavily and hoarfrost blanketed the world. mTsho-rgyal could barely continue. Acarya Sa-le had gone with Guru Rinpoche to serve him, and she was absolutely alone. But the promise she had made strengthened her resolve, and she continued to meditate.
84
? ~-------------------~~~----------------~~
Her whole body became covered with blisters from the cold, and sharp, stabbing pains ran through her. Her breath came in short, choking gasps; she was near death. But mTsho-rgyal visualized the
Jetsun Guru in her mind and prayed to him:
"Orgyan Dharma Lord, Protector of Beings,
look upon me with the sunlight ofyour compassion!
Your daughter is naked, friendless, all alone.
This terrible cave is dark, and freezing winds blow through it. When the blizzard rages outside, whose daughter am I?
"My stone bed is hard and cold as ice.
Like a rock, I cannot do anything.
Inside or outside the cave, there is no difference-
this white cotton cloth is useless.
Bless me with the warm sunlight ofyour compassion! Please help me kindle the gtum-mo heat! "
As she prayed, her karmic energies became slightly altered, and this small change was enough to allow the gtum-mo heat to rise. mTsho- rgyal felt an overwhelming and spontaneous confidence toward her teacher and prayed:
"When the teacher with all the qualifications
bestowed upon me the pure essence-
the powerful grace of the Vajrayana, the esoteric teachings-
! felt the pristine wisdom ofVajrasattva,
and the Four Great Joys danced in my heart.
Then the White-dressed One, the Fire l)akini, rose up within me, and sublime warmth and bliss came forth.
Now I am wondrously happy!
Please continue to show your kindness! "
Just as these thoughts occurred to her, the Orgyan Lama himself appeared before her in the form of a Heruka, handed her a skull cup of beer, and disappeared.
As Ye-shes mTsho-rgyallater explained: "I continued to experience ever-increasing warmth and bliss. I felt joyful and happy. My body,
85
? ~-~----------------~~~-------------------~
before so cold and miserable, changed as completely as a snake losing its skin.
"Now I decided the time had come for donning the bone garlands, so I set aside my cotton cloth and put on garments ofbone. I integrated the three facets of meditation for this stage, and practiced this disci- pline for one year. At this time, all my food supplies were gone; not even a grain of barley remained. For sustenance I relied upon mineral substances and drank only water. And I continued to meditate.
"Sometimes I had powerful visions of past lives and other striking experiences, but I became weaker and weaker. My legs could no longer support my body; my body could no longer support my head. I could barely breathe, and even my mind became weak. Growing worse, I came to the brink of death. But then again I called upon my teacher, propitiated my yidam, and continuously visualized a stream of offerings to the qakinis. I prayed:
'From the beginning I have given my body to the Lama; whatever will happen, happiness or misery,
the lama knows.
'From the beginning I have given my speech to the pure Dharma; whether my breath will continue to flow or not,
only you now know.
'From the beginning I have directed my mind toward virtue; whether it is virtuous or not,
only you now know.
'From the beginning my body has been a citadel for the yidam; whether he wishes to abide there or not,
only you now know.
'From the beginning my patterning and energy have been a conduit for the qakini;
whether she wishes to enter this path,
only you now know.
'From the beginning my vitality has been the essence of the Sugata;
86
? --------------~~------------
will I pass beyond misery or turn the Wheel of the Dharma?
I have watched sentient beings, my mothers,
unceasingly wander in confusion.
Whether I, your daughter, find samsara or nirvana, you decide. '
"When I had spoken these words, a red lady, completely naked and lacking even bone ornaments, appeared before me. She placed her bhaga to my mouth, and blood flowed from it, which I drank ofdeeply. Then it seemed that all the realms were filled with bliss! Strength equal to that of a lion returned to me. I experienced a meditation of complete transcendence without any attributes at all.
"Now I felt the time had come to sit naked and rely on the food of air. Thus I practiced for one year, wearing no garments and no orna- ments, nourished only by the pure air.
"At first, bliss accompanied the coming and going of my breath. I had various kinds of clear and visionary experiences, and creative and penetrating awareness arose unimpeded.
"But after a while, doubts assailed my mind. My breath became unstable, and I could not control it. My throat became dry and rough, my nose and throat felt as if they were stuffed with cotton; my stomach, growling and filled with gas, gave me great pain. Once more, I came close to death.
"Collecting myself with great effort, I called upon Guru Rinpoche, singing: 'Innumerable times your daughter has assumed bodily form and wandered in samsara. I have suffered in the harsh states of being, surrounded by birth and death, distraught with heat and cold, hunger and thirst, yet I have endured.
'The most important possession is a human body.
The shortest path is the esoteric teachings;
the quickest method is difficult practice.
Although this is almost unbearable, what else is there to do? There is no end to my vow:
I will still continue to practice the disciplines- ! will be mTsho-rgyal of the Heart-bone!
87
? ~--------------~~~----------------
'Wonderful magically lotus-born Tulku,
Self-arisen lama, Teacher of Orgyan,
compassionate and mighty one!
Your wonderful diamond body is a mandala of the Rainbow Body. Please look with compassion on beings with ordinary bodies! Will you help my poor inferior body?
Whatever happens to this physical form, wherever you may be, please look upon me with love and compassion. '
"As soon as I spoke, Padmasambhava appeared to me in the midst of shining light, smiling radiantly. He sat down in the air itself, only an arm's length away, and said to me:
'Listen well, daughter of the lineage,
daughter of mKhar-chen bza'!
When you were the daughter of a king,
you cared only for finery and pleasure,
and could bear no misfortune at all.
Now is the time to be unconcerned
whether you meet happiness or misery on the path. Whatever comes, suffering or Great Bliss, carry on! Do not crave bliss.
Be devoted, virtuous, and humble.
'Listen well, daughter of mKhar-chen bza'!
When you were the young wife of a king,
how proud you were-
you were fettered by your own desires.
Now is the time to give up all activities and needs. Meditate on impermanence
and think about the suffering of the lower realms. Do not have great desires.
Be devoted, virtuous, and humble.
'Listen well, daughter of mKhar-chen bza'! When you were the consort of the lama, how egotistical you were-
your position meant so much to you. Now is the time to reject your old faults;
88
? ----------------~~------------
do not hide them but constantly tear them out. Do not wish for fame.
Be devoted, virtuous, and humble.
'Listen well, daughter of mKhar-chen bza'! How proud you were of following the Dharma, how crafty and deceitful you were-
before you were only a hypocrite.
Now is the time to reject all artifice and sham; do not hold back, but show your perseverance. Do not dwell on what you have done.
Be devoted, virtuous, and humble. '
"Then Padmasambhava came down to earth and sat upon a large rock. He continued: 'Now, there is something more for you to do. Carefully extract the essence from plants and herbs, and use these to cleanse your awareness, stimulate your creativity, and restore your body.
" 'I, Padmasambhava, exist only for the benefit of beings. From be- ginningless time, I have hidden many precious and sacred Dharma teachings. These are inexhaustible and will continue into the future until samsara is completely emptied of beings. Later, I must go to the rNga-yab l)akini Island. You, my lady, must take pains to procure all my profound treasures, so tomorrow I will open for you the many mandalas of the highest Mantrayana. The time has come to work for the benefit of beings; make such preparations as I direct you. ' He gave
me many detailed teachings, and then departed. "
As mTsho-rgyal later explained, after meeting Acarya Sa-le and his friend, the girl named bDe-ba-mo, she led them to the three Lion Lair Caves of Bhutan to practice. First, they went to the Lair of the Lion's Mouth and extracted the essence from medicinal plants and minerals. Then mTsho-rgyal sought for just the right minerals, especially the white cong-zhi 'essence of all minerals', and distilled its healing prop- erties. Her body became as strong as a vajra and impervious to weapons. Her speech became clear and melodious, its sound so sooth- ing it calmed even the proud tigress.
Her mind entered a meditation like the indestructible vajra.
89
? --~------------~~~--------------s
mTsho-rgyal now felt in her heart that the time had come to practice the arduous discipline ofspeech. First she prayed over and over again to purify all obscurations involved with speech. She practiced a very long time, doing Dharma sadhanas uninterruptedly, day and night, with never a break in the sound of her chanting.
In the beginning, she practiced the one-hundred-syllable mantra and other mantras of the Rig-sngags, as well as those of the gZungs-sngags. She also took up the expiatory and purification practices of the Kriya, Carya, and Yoga Tantras.
Next, she practiced the teachings of the five Buddha families and the three deities, Avalokitdvara, VajrapaQi, and Maiijusri, and the related teachings, chanting the gZungs-sngags of the Upa and Yoga mandalas.
Finally, she recited the Siitras by heart and recited confessions and vows. She behaved in the manner set forth by the Vinaya, and practiced the teachings of Amitayus. In order to make her mind sharp and clear, she strove to completely master the Abhidharma, logic, epistemology, and soon.
At first her voice stammered. Her throat was tom so that great quantities of blood and pus frothed forth; she felt a searing pain in her esophagus, and it became twisted, hard, and dry, swollen with blood and pus. Again she came close to dying.
But in the end, at whatever length she wished to speak, she felt no discomfort. The sound of her voice was always beautiful, the words clear and appropriate, the rhythm musical and pleasing. She could speak at any pitch, high, medium, or low; she could talk very fast or very slow or at a moderate rate. She thus developed complete control over her voice, and it responded exactly as she desired. In short, she developed all the sixty different. fine qualities of voice. She also per- fected the seven powers of complete retention.
mTsho-rgyal opened the eight Heruka mandalas in the manner of the Mahayoga Tantras and practiced until she clearly saw the faces ofall the deities. When the practice was perfected, mTsho-rgyal and the deities were no longer separate entities but had become one. As she sat
90
? ----------------~~---------------=
cross-legged in the lotus position, her hands placed for meditation, many different deities appeared before her. Rays of light flashed above her, and other auspicious signs occurred.
After a time, her yidam came to her and made the prediction: "You will develop both the ordinary and the eight great siddhis. Your ac- complishments will be as indestructible as the vajra, and you will at- tain the dPa'-bar 'gro-ba'i ting-nge-'dzin, 'the Heroic Samadhi'. In the end, you will be completely liberated and enter the expanse of the All-good. This is my prophecy. "
Then mTsho-rgyal opened the mandala of the Bla-ma dgongs-pa 'dus-pa and practiced according to the instructions of the Anuyoga Tantras. Having prepared herself through proper meditation, mantra, and breathing, she considered her own body the central figure of the dGongs-pa 'dus-pa mandala. Thus meditating, she perfectly under- stood the essence of patterning, energy flow, and vitality, and took it to heart.
At first, there was great agony from the inversion of the energy flow and the stiffening of the vitality. The pain in the pattern of energy channels brought her near to death. But though her suffering was enormous, mTsho-rgyal still practiced without judging the experience as harmful.
And after a time, many different deities appeared before her. She de- veloped complete control over the pattern, energy, and vitality of her life and severed forever the four currents of birth, old age, sickness, and death. She became a great and powerful siddha indeed. "I will never be able to repay the Guru's kindness," she thought, and sang:
"Wonderful! Guru, Lord, Padmasambhava, I bow to you.
"You, Guru Rinpoche, turned this pile ofatoms accumulated since time began
into a king of mountains!
I am that Sumeru.
Now I think perhaps I can help others- come, virtuous Indra, and be my patron!
91
? ~~--------------~~----------------~
Perhaps some, living deep in ravines, have not the karma, but the great Guardian Kings
and those residing in heaven realms
will find happiness, satisfaction, and bliss!
"You, Guru Rinpoche, transformed all the drops of water fallen in the ocean since time began
into seven enchanted lakes!
I am that ocean.
Now I think perhaps I can help others-
come, happy virtuous ones, and be my patrons! Perhaps a few fish and frogs in murky ponds have not the karma, but the eight nagas
and those residing deep in the naga palaces will find happiness, satisfaction, and bliss!
"You, Guru Rinpoche, have taught
inconceivable qualities to the powerful Munis
who have accumulated merit since time began.
I am one such powerful Muni.
Now I think perhaps I can help others-
come, lordly men and Dharma Kings, and be my patrons! Perhaps some beings in barbarous regions
have not the karma, but the Sravakas
and those residing in this realm
will find happiness, satisfaction, and bliss!
"You, Guru Rinpoche, transformed
all the fruits of virtue gathered since time began
into a wondrous human being!
I am that girl.
Now I think perhaps I can help others-
come, lucky children, and be my patrons!
Perhaps some with wrong views and evil ways
cannot follow the Dharma, but those with faith,
the Tibetan folk and all others in the world, will find bliss! "
Then mTsho-rgyal went on extracting medicinal nectar from the hundred and eight healing plants and herbs. Representatives of the
92
? --~------------~~~--------------S
four types of siddhas and the four medicine goddesses circled round her, one hundred and eight in all. Each of the medicine goddesses held a vase with healing nectar of singular power, and they offered them to mTsho-rgyal, praising her in this song:
"Wonderful!
Though a human girl, you bear the marks of excellence! You were our sister in a former life, in a time of gods. Your pure aspirations were a sufficient cause
to bring you great Pristine Awareness.
You led the gandharvas with sounds of lutes,
and so we praise you,
wondrous mTsho-rgyal, Sarasvati!
"Then when the Dharma Wheel of the Great Muni turned, your purity was sufficient cause
for you to become a Srivaka nun.
You led all beings with the eye of compassion-
and so we praise you, mTsho-rgyal, Goddess of the River Ganges.
"Now the great Vajradhara has arisen from a lotus,
and the Dharma Wheel turns by his methods,
opening the secret doors that combine all Mahayana teachings. You practiced the disciplines for the sake of all beings,
and so we praise you, mTsho-rgyal!
"All things come from the expanse of the mind.
Distilling the essence of poisons and herbs,
you drank deeply of the nectar;
and now you bear the marks ofeternal youth.
Praise to you, enlightened mother of all beings of the three times!
"Driving out disease and evil,
you cure beings with the best medicine,
the nectar of deathlessness.
Mother of all good qualities, goddess of healing, is that not you, mTsho-rgyal? "
Then they all rose up into the sky. Shortly afterwards, a young human girl, Khye-'dren, arrived and offered mTsho-rgyal a large
93
? ~=~----------------~~~------------------~~
amount of honey. Thus she was blessed with the power of both inner and outer good omens.
After eating the honey, mTsho-rgyal began the discipline of the body. First she did circumambulations, then she did prostrations. She practiced day and night, until her forehead, the palms of her hands, and the soles of her feet developed open sores and were worn to the bone. A great stream of blood and pus flowed from the sores, yet mTsho-rgyal continued to do these and countless other physical practices as indi- cated in the texts.
At first her body was painful and unresponsive; she felt completely exhausted. The joints of her hands became inflamed and swollen, twisted and painful as if diseased by arthritis. Her veins became distended and varicosed, and various symptoms spread and increased so that she was terribly weakened.
But eventually, mTsho-rgyal did cleanse her body; all conditions due to impurity dispersed, and she rejoiced. Her vitality supported the natural flow of Pristine Awareness. The knots in her veins and channels were untied, her joints became straight, her crookedness was cured, her sores healed and covered over. Every part of her body worked in an orderly and healthy fashion. She had established the foundation for realizing the esoteric teachings.
mTsho-rgyal continued to practice in isolated wilderness caves, such as the one at Seng-ge Ne-ring. Having made the commitment to meditate, without speaking, without moving, she sat erect in the full-lotus posture, her gaze never wandering, her posture never slouching.
The brilliance and power of mTsho-rgyal's meditation was unbear- able to the regional gods and malignant spirits. They flocked to her in peaceful and wrathful forms, with and without corporeal bodies, and taunted her with strange visions. At first, all kinds of food appeared before her, one thing after another; then clothing, horses, and even elephants appeared. All sorts of worldly goods manifested apparition- ally before her.
94
? ----------------~~--------------
But mTsho-rgyal subdued them all by the power of her meditation. Some of these things disappeared as soon as she saw their illusory nature, others disappeared merely because of her indifference to worldly things. Some she transformed by her meditation into earth and stones and the like. Some things, such as food and riches, she wished to be hidden away for the country's future use, and this was accomplished.
On another occasion, there appeared before her agroup ofattractive young men-youths with beautiful faces and smooth skin, sweet- smelling, wonderfully formed, quite tangible and thoroughly enticing. First, they respectfully addressed her as 'Mother' and 'Lady'. But soon they began to talk of sex and spoke to her by name, saying 'mTsho- rgyal, girl', as they tried to seduce her, sometimes being passionate, some~imes merry and playful.
Gradually they revealed themselves, saying: "Girl, wouldn't you like this for yourself? Wouldn't you like to milk it? " and that sort ofthing. "Wouldn't you like me to embrace you? Or stroke your breasts or between your legs? Wouldn't you like me to kiss you? " So they went on, suggesting various acts of passion, trying to excite her.
The brilliance of her meditation overcame some of them, and they disappeared. Some of them she meditated upon as illusory-and as they were deceptive creations, they disappeared when she told them to. Some of them she contemplated as hindrances to the Bodhisattva mind, and then they changed into black corpses. Some became old and crippled, while others became lepers. Some turned blind or lame or mute or fiercely ugly. Finally, they all vanished.
Then very wrathful forms appeared. The earth shook back and forth, and there was a noise greater than one thousand thunderclaps sounding at once. Lightning, flashing through the total darkness, sent bright streaks darting across the sky. Moving white lights blazed; red lights flickered on and off; yellow lights whirled about; smoky blue lights drew them all together, and iridescent lights zigzagged here and there. This dizzying display was hard to endure.
Next, mTsho-rgyal saw weapons-daggers and spears of many kinds, keen and shining. Sharp translucent blue blades stabbed and crossed
95
? =-------------~~-------------
and darted around in a most unbearable fashion. But all these mani- festations mTsho-rgyal controlled by the power of her meditation, thinking that though she be cut to pieces or killed, she would not be afraid. Finally, because of the power of her mind, they all disappeared.
A few days later, packs of tigers and leopards, bears and hyenas, and all sorts of other wild animals came prowling. Growling ferociously they stalked around the cave and blocked the entrance. Then, howling and screaming, they advanced into the cave-filling die pas- sageway, prowling to the left and right and in front of her. Some, driven by hunger, widened their mouths to show their fangs. Threat- ening mTsho-rgyal, they twitched their tails upon the ground and
clawed the dirt, their bodies trembling, their hair bristling and stand- ing on end. But she considered how terribly attached these animals were to their physical bodies and felt great compassion for them, and they all disappeared.
Then, like a great army converging upon that place, millions upon millions of worms and insects and other crawling things, such as spiders and scorpions and snakes, swarmed over everything. Some of them filled her sense organs; some bit and stung and scratched her as they crawled onto her. Some jumped upon her; others attacked each other, tossing bits of their bodies about as they ate. All sorts of strange and magical forms appeared. But mTsho-rgyal just trembled a little and felt compassion rise up in her mind. As the forms became more and more angry and frightful, raging around her, mTsho-rgyal thought:
"Many times I have vowed to be unattached to anything associated with body, speech, or mind. All these sentient beings, worms and other crawling things, arise continuously, increasingly, and abundantly from karmic forces. Why should I tremble with fear before such magical manifestations of the elements? I must remember that all activity is the result ofgood and bad thoughts. Therefore, whatever may arise, either good or bad, I will recognize as dualistic mental activity and be un- concerned. " Having come to this profound realization, she said:
"All phenomenal existence
is merely the magical manifestation of mind.
96
? ----------------~~--------------~
I see nothing to fear in all the expanse of space. Therefore, all of this must be self-arising luminance. How could there ever be anything other than this?
All these activities are only ornaments of my own being. Better that I rest in meditative silence. "
After saying this, she entered a meditative state that was completely quiet, without any discrimination of good or evil. And all the appari- tions disappeared.
But later, more strange forms appeared, ugly, vague, and fearful visions, moving here and there. Disembodied arms and hands whirled about. A great bodiless head appeared, its upper jaw in the sky, its lower jaw resting on the ground. Its tongue curled and darted in the space between, and its sharp, white, tusk-like teeth advanced closer and closer.
Within a palace as small as a mustard seed, she saw many men arguing and fighting. A great fire was raging, water was rushing forth, rocks were avalanching, and trees were falling in a hurricane wind. But mTsho-rgyal entered the Vajra-like Sam:idhi and remained unmoved, and all these forms disappeared.
Next, from E in lower Nepal up to Ja' in upper Bhutan, a great army of gods and demons of the border tribes of Klo-yul, Kha-khra, and rKang-khra raged. Some wept, and others howled. Some were wailing, others screaming. Above mTsho-rgyal's head, thunder roared, and below her feet, fires burned. In between, a great flood of water rushed forth, and sharp weapons swirled about like a strange blizzard. All sorts of hindrances and obstacles arose.
But mTsh\}-rgyal meditated intensely, expanded her awareness, and sharpened her wisdom. Again, she felt imperishable faith arise and sang:
"How wonderful!
I have reached the stage of realization- realization of the Dharmak:iya,
the Enlightened Mind of the Great Mother,
97
? --------------~~--------------~
Essence of the Ten Perfections.
Acting within the deepest discriminating wisdom,
I have no fear of phenomenal appearances.
Whatever arises is the magic play of Dharmakaya,
and these manifestations are the compassion of the Lama. So stir up some more of these creations!
"How wonderful!
I have reached the stage of realization-
realization of the All-good, the Lama,
Essence of vision, meditation, and fruit.
Acting spontaneously with whatever arises,
I have no fear of divisive concepts.
Whatever arises is the magical play of cognition,
and discursive thoughts are the compassion of the Lama. So stir up some more of these creations!
"How wonderful!
I have reached the stage of realization-
realization of the Lotus Lama,
Essence of the profound, far-reaching Ati.
With the unblemished activity of my own mind,
I do not dwell on defilements.
Stains and such are the magical play of reality itself, and all ways of seeing are the compassion of the Lama. So stir up some more of these creations!
"How wonderful!
I have reached the perfect place-
the practice of the girl mTsho-rgyal,
the essence of the supreme Mantrayana vehicle. Pleasure and pain have the same taste,
so why should I choose good or bad,
rejecting this or that experience?
All appearances are the compassion of the Lama, so stir up some more of these creations! "
As she finished her song, great armies ofgods and demons gathered from Tibet, China, and Nepal. Their generals took the fore-black, red,
98
? ----------------~~~--------
and blue they were. Again and again, using many different means, they manipulated the environment, creating all kinds of obstacles. They incited the human inhabitants, insulting and sneering at them. The smoke created by these gods and demons darkened all of Bhutan so that no one could tell day from night. Disorder reigned, and chaos prevailed-lightning, hail, and rain descended, disease and pestilence spread, confusion ruled, and great misery pervaded the land. Every- one was asking what could be the cause of such disaster.
"Why is this happening? " the people asked. One Bhutani who had seen mTsho-rgyal spoke up: "In a distant cave on a rocky site sits a Tibetan woman as if deaf and dumb. Perhaps she has been doing improper practices, and that has caused all this trouble. "
After some discussion, they decided that she must be killed and set off in a group. Upon arriving at the cave, they called out to mTsho- rgyal: "You corpse-like Tibetan demoness!
