With
undimmed
lustre, he is, as heretofore, handed
over from this " Prince P.
over from this " Prince P.
Thomas Carlyle
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? 276 Carlyle's Essays
almost transparent Figure rises from the very bosom of th
pile. At sight of it, the five prostrated men fall into coc
vulsions insupportable to look on; the too faithful image c
those foaming struggles wherein a mortal, at handgrips wit
a sudden pain, ends by sinking under it.
"Then a trembling voice pierces the vault, and articulate
the formula of those execrable oaths that are to be sworn
my pen falters; I think myself almost guilty to retrace them.
O Luchet, what a taking! Is there no hope left, thinkes
thou? Thy brain is all gone to addled albumen; help seem
none, if not in that last mother's-bosom of all the ruined
Brandy-and-water! --An unfeeling world may laugh; bu
ought to recollect that, forty years ago, these things were sai
realities,--in the heads of many men.
As to the execrable oaths, this seems the main one
"Honour and respect Aqua Toff ana, as a sure, prompt am
necessary means of purging the Globe, by the death or tb
hebetation of such as endeavour to debase the Truth, or snatcl
it from our hands. " And so the catastrophe ends by bathinj
our poor half-dead Recipiendary first in blood, then, afte:
some genuflexions, in water; and "serving him a repas;
composed of roots,"--we grieve to say, mere potatoes-and
point!
Figure now all this boundless cunningly devised Agglome-
rate of royal-arches, death's-heads, hieroglyphically paintec
screens, Columbs in the state of innocence; with spacious
masonic halls, dark, or in the favourablest theatrical light-and-
dark; Kircher's magic-lantern, Belshazzar hand-writings, of
phosphorus: "plaintive tones," gong-beatings; hoary beard
of a supernatural Grand Cophta emerging from the gloom ;--
and how it acts, not only indirectly through the foolish senses
of men, but directly on their Imagination; connecting itself
with Enoch and Elias, with Philanthropy, Immortality,
Eleutheromania, and Adam Weisshaupt's Illuminati, and
so downwards to the infinite Deep: figure all this; and in
the centre of it, sitting eager and alert, the skilfulest Panour-
gos, working the mighty chaos, into a creation--of ready-
money. In such a wide plastic ocean of sham and foam had
the Archquack now happily begun to envelop himself.
Accordingly he goes forth prospering and to prosper. Ar-
rived in any City, he has but by masonic grip to accredit him-
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? Count Cagliostro 277
2lf with the Venerable of the place; and, not by degrees as
jrmerly, but in a single night, is introduced in Grand Lodge
d all that is fattest and foolishest far or near; and in the
ttest arena, a gilt-pasteboard Masonic hall. There between
he two pillars of Jachin and Boaz, can the great Sheepstealer
ee his whole flock of Dupeables assembled in one penfold;
ffectionately blatant, licking the hand they are to bleed
>y. Victorious Acharat-Beppo! The genius of Amazement,
aoreover, has now shed her glory round him; he is radiant-
leaded, a supernatural by his very gait. Behold him every-
/here welcomed with vivats, or in awestruck silence: gilt-
lasteboard Freemasons receive him under the Steel-Arch of
xossed sabres; he mounts to the Seat of the Venerable;
lolds high discourse hours long, on Masonry, Morality,
Jniversal Science, Divinity, and Things in general, with " a
ublimity, an emphasis and unction," proceeding, it appears,
'from the special inspiration of the Holy Ghost. " Then
;here are Egyptian Lodges to be founded, corresponded with,
--a thing involving expense; elementary fractions of many
1 priceless arcanum, nay if the place will stand it, of the
Pentagon itself, can be given to the purified in life: how
;ladly would he give them, but they have to be brought from
:he uttermost ends of the world, and cost money. Now too,
with what tenfold impetuosity do all the old trades of
Egyptian Drops, Beauty - waters, Secret - favours, expand
themselves, and rise in price! Life-weary moneyed Do-
lothing, this seraphic Countess is Grand Priestess of the
Egyptian Female Lodges; has a touch of the supramundane
Undine in her: among all thy intrigues, hadst thou ever yet
Endymion-like an intrigue with the lunar Diana,--called also
Hecate? And thou, 0 antique, much-loving faded Dowager,
this Squire-of-dames can, it appears probable, command
the Seven Angels, Uriel, Anachiel and Company; at lowest,
has the eyes of all Europe fixed on him! --The dog pockets
money enough, and can seem to despise money.
To us, much meditating on the matter, it seemed perhaps
strangest of all, how Count Cagliostro, received under the
Steel Arch, could hold Discourses, of from one to three hours
long, on Universal Science, of such unction, we do not say as
to seem inspired by the Holy Spirit, but as not to get him
lugged out of doors directly after his first head of method, and
drowned in whole oceans of salt-and-water. The man could
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? 278 Carlylc's Essays
not speak; only babble in long-winded diffusions, chaa
circumvolutions tending nowhither. He had no thought I
speaking with; he had not even a language. His SiciB
Italian, and Laquais-de-place French, garnished with shia
from all European dialects, was wholly intelligible to 1
mortal; a Tower-of-Babel jargon, which made many thi
him a kind of Jew. But indeed, with the language of Greek
or of Angels, what better were it? The man, once for a
has no articulate utterance; that tongue of his emits nois
enough, but no speech. Let him begin the plainest story, t
stream stagnates at the first stage; chafes, " ahem! ahem!
loses itself in the earth; or, bursting over, flies abroad witl
out bank or channel,--into separate plashes. Not a streat
but a lake, a wide-spread indefinite marsh. His who
thought is confused, inextricable; what thought, what r
semblance of thought he has, cannot deliver itself, excej
in gasps, blustering gushes, spasmodic refluences, whit
make bad worse. Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble: ho
thou bubblest, foolish "Bubblyjock "! Hear him once, an
on a dead-lift occasion, as the Inquisition Gurney reports ii
"' I mean and I wish to mean, that even as those wh
honour their father and mother, and respect the sovereig
Pontiff, are blessed of God; even so all that I did, I did it b
the order of God, with the power which he vouchsafed to mi
and to the advantage of God and of Holy Church; and
mean to give the proofs of all that I have done and said, nc
only physically but morally, by showing that as I have serve
God for God and by the power of God, he has given me at la;
the counterpoison to confound and combat Hell; for I kno'
no other enemies than those that are in Hell, and if I ai
wrong, the Holy Father will punish me; if I am right, he wi
reward me; and if the Holy Father could get into his hand
to-night these answers of mine, I predict to all brethren, be
lievers and unbelievers, that I should be at liberty to-morroi
morning. ' Being desired to give these proofs then, h
answered: 'To prove that I have been chosen of God as a
apostle to defend and propagate religion, I say that as th
Holy Church has instituted pastors to demonstrate in fac
of the world that she is the true Catholic faith, even so, havin
operated with approbation and by the counsel of pastors of th
Holy Church, I am, as I said, fully justified in regard to all m
operations; and these pastors have assured me that m;
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? Count Cagliostro
279
jjyptian Order was divine, and deserved to be formed into an
-der sanctioned by the Holy Father, as I said in another
terrogatory. '"
How then, in the name of wonder, said we, could such a
ibbling, bubbling Turkey-cock speak " with unction "?
Two things here are to be taken into account. First, the
fierence between speaking and public speaking; a difference
together generic. Secondly, the wonderful power of a
:rtain audacity, often named impudence. Was it never thy
ird fortune, good Reader, to attend any Meeting convened
>r Public purposes; any Bible-Society, Reform, Conservative,
hatched - Tavern, Hogg Dinner, or other such Meeting?
hou hast seen some full-fed Long-ear, by free determination
r on sweet constraint, start to his legs, and give voice. Well
ware wert thou that there was not, had not been, could not
e, in that entire ass-cranium of his any fraction of an idea:
evertheless mark him. If at first an ominous haze flit
ound, and nothing, not even nonsense, dwell in his recollec-
ion,--heed it not; let him but plunge desperately on, the
pell is broken. Commonplaces enough are at hand: " labour
i love," " rights of suffering millions," " throne and altar,"
'divine gift of song," or what else it may be; the Meeting,
>y its very name, has environed itself in a given element of
Commonplace. But anon, behold how his talking-organs get
seated, and the friction vanishes; cheers, applauses, with
. he previous dinner and strong drink, raise him to height of
loblest temper. And now, as for your vociferous Dullard, is
iasiest of all, let him keep on the soft, safe parallel course;
parallel to the Truth, or nearly so; for Heaven's sake,
not in contact with it: no obstacle will meet him; on the
(avouring given element of Commonplace he triumphantly
careers.
He is as the ass, whom you took and cast headlong into the
water: the water at first threatens to swallow him; but he
? Snds, to his astonishment, that he can swim therein, that it is
buoyant and bears him along. One sole condition is indis-
pensable: audacity, vulgarly called impudence. Our ass
must commit himself to his watery " element; " in free daring,
Strike-forth his four limbs from him: then shall he not drown
and sink, but shoot gloriously forward, and swim, to the
admiration of bystanders. The ass, safe landed on the other
bank, shakes his rough hide, wonder-struck himself at the
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? 280 Carlyle's Essays
faculty that lay in him, and waves joyfully his long ears: sc
too the public speaker. Cagliostro, as we know him of old
is not without a certain blubbery oiliness of soul as of body
with vehemence lying under it; has the volublest, noisies
tongue; and in the audacity vulgarly called impudence L
without a fellow. The Commonplaces of such Steel-Arcl
Meetings are soon at his finger-ends: that same blubber
oiliness and vehemence lying under it, once give them ai
element and stimulus, are the very gift of a fluent publi
speaker--to Dupeables.
Here too let us mention a circumstance, not insignificant
if true, which it may readily enough be. In younger years
Beppo Balsamo once, it is recorded, took some pains to pro
cure, "from a country vicar," under quite false pretences
"a bit of cotton steeped in holy oils. " What could such bi
of cotton steeped in holy oils do for him? An Unbelieve:
from any basis of conviction the unbelieving Beppo coult
never be; but solely from stupidity and bad morals. Migh
there not lie in that chaotic blubbery nature of his, at tb<
bottom of all, a certain musk-grain of real Superstitiou:
Belief? How wonderfully such a musk-grain of Belief wil
flavour, and impregnate with seductive odour, a whole inwarc
world of Quackery, so that every fibre thereof shall smel
musk, is well known. No Quack can persuade like him whc
has himself some persuasion. Nay, so wondrous is the acl
of Believing, Deception and Self-Deception must, rigorous! }
speaking, coexist in all Quacks; and he perhaps were definable
as the best Quack, in whom the smallest musk-grain of the
latter would sufficiently flavour the largest mass of the
former.
But indeed, as we know otherwise, was there not in Cagli-
ostro a certain pinchbeck counterfeit of all that is golden and
good in man, of somewhat even that is best? Cheers, and
illuminated hieroglyphs,and the ravishmentof thronging audi-
ences, can make him maudlin; his very wickedness of practice
will render him louder in eloquence of theory; and "philan-
thropy," "divine science," "depth of unknown worlds,"
"finer feelings of the heart," and suchlike shall draw tears
from most asses of sensibility. Neither, indeed, is it of
moment how few his elementary Commonplaces are, how
empty his head is, so he but agitate it well: thus a lead-drop
or two, put into the emptiest dry-bladder, and jingled to and
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? Count Cagliostro
281
ro, will make noise enough; and even, if skilfully jingled,
1 kind of martial music.
Such is the Cagliostric palaver, that bewitches all manner
>f believing souls. If the ancient Father was named Chrysos-
:om, or Mouth-of-Gold, be the modern Quack named Pinch-
jeckostom, or Mouth-of-Pinchbeck; in an Age of Bronze such
netal finds elective affinities. On the whole, too, it is worth
;onsidering what element your Quack specially works in:
;he element of Wonder! The Genuine, be he artist or artisan,
works in the finitude of the Known; the Quack in the infini-
:ude of the Unknown. And then how, in rapidest progression,
ne grows and advances, once start him! Your name is up,
says the adage; you may lie in bed. A nimbus of renown
and preternatural astonishment envelops Cagliostro; en-
chants the general eye. The few reasoning mortals scattered
here and there who see through him, deafened in the universal
hubbub, shut their lips in sorrowful disdain; confident in the
grand remedy, Time. The Enchanter meanwhile rolls on his
way; what boundless materials of Deceptibility, what greedi-
ness and ignorance, especially what prurient brute-mindedness,
exist over Europe in this the most deceivable of modern ages,
are stirred up, fermenting in his behoof. He careers onward
as a Comet; his nucleus, of paying and praising Dupes, em-
braces, in long radius, what city and province he rests over;
his thinner tail, of wondering and curious Dupes, stretches
into remotest lands. Good Lavater, from amid his Swiss
Mountains, could say of him; "Cagliostro, a man; and a
-man such as few are; in whom, however, I am not a believer.
O that he were simple of heart and humble, like a child; that
he had feeling for the simplicity of the Gospel, and the majesty
pt the Lord (Hoheit des Herrn)! Who were so great as he?
Cagliostro often tells what is not true, and promises what he
does not perform. Yet do I nowise hold his operations as
deception, though they are not what he calls them. "1 If
good Lavater could so say of him, what must others have
been saying!
Comet-wise, progressing with loud flourish of kettle-drums,
everywhere under the Steel-Arch, evoking spirits, transmuting
metals (to such as could stand it), the Archquack has tra-
versed Saxony; at Leipzig has run athwart the hawser of a
1 Lettre du Comte Mirabeau sur Cagliostro et Lavater, p. 42. (Berl.
1786. )
nw t
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? 282 Carlyle's Essays
brother quack (poor Schropfer, here scarcely recognisabl
as " Scieffert "), and wrecked him. Through Eastern Gei
many, Prussian Poland, he progresses; and so now at lengtt
in the spring of 1780, has arrived at Petersburg. His pavilio:
is erected here, his flag prosperously hoisted: Mason-lodge
have long ears; he is distributing, as has now become hi
wont, Spagiric Food, medicine for the poor; a train-oil Princi
Potemkin or something like him, for accounts are dubious
feels his chops water over a seraphic Seraphina: all goe
merry, and promises the best. But in those despotic cour
tries, the Police is so arbitrary! Cagliostro's thaum'aturg
must be overhauled by the Empress's Physician (Mouncey,
hard Annandale Scot); is found nought, the Spagiric Foo
unfit for a dog: and so, the whole particulars of his Lordship1
conduct being put together, the result is, that he must leav
Petersburg, in a given brief term of hours. Happy for hii
that it was so brief: scarcely is he gone, till the Prussia
Ambassador appears with a complaint, that he has falsel
assumed the Prussian uniform at Rome; the Spanish An
bassador with a still graver complaint, that he has forge
bills at Cadiz. However, he is safe over the marches: le
them complain their fill.
In Courland, and in Poland, great things await him; ye
not unalloyed by two small reverses. The famed Countes
von der Recke, a born Fair Saint, what the Germans ca
Schone Seele, as yet quite young in heart and experience, bu
broken down with grief for departed friends,--seeks to ques
tion the world-famous Spirit-summoner on the secrets of th
Invisible Kingdoms; whither, with fond strained eyes, sh
is incessantly looking. The galimathias of Pinchbeckoston
cannot impose on this pure-minded simple woman: sb
recognises the Quack in him, and in a printed Book make
known the same: Mephisto's mortifying experience witl
Margaret, as above foretold, renews itself for Cagliostro.
At Warsaw too, though he discourses on Egyptian Masonry
on Medical Philosophy, and the ignorance of Doctors, anc
performs successfully with Pupil and Columb, a certaii
"Count M. " cherishes more than doubt; which ends ii
certainty, in a written Cagliostro Unmasked. The Archquack
triumphant, sumptuously feasted in the city, has retired witl
a chosen set of believers, with whom, however, was this un
1 Zeitgenossen, No. 15. ? Frau von der Recke.
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? Count Cagliostro
idieving " M. ," into the country; to transmute metals, to
irepare perhaps the Pentagon itself. All that night, before
eaving Warsaw, "our dear Master" had spent conversing
irith spirits. Spirits? cries "M. :" Not he; but melting
lucats: he has a melted mass of them in this crucible, which
low, by sleight of hand, he would fain substitute for that
ither, filled, as you all saw, with red-lead, carefully luted
lown, smelted, set to cool, smuggled from among our hands,
md now (look at it, ye asses! )---found broken and hidden
imong these bushes!
Neither does the Pentagon, or Elixir of Life, or whatever it
vas, prosper better. "Our sweet Master enters into expos-
elation: " " swears by his great God, and his honour, that he
will finish the work and make us happy. He carries his
modesty so far as to propose that he shall work with chains
an his feet; and consents to lose his life, by the hands of his
disciples, if before the end of the fourth passage, his word be
not made good. He lays his hand on the ground, and kisses
it; holds it up to Heaven, and again takes God to witness
that he speaks true; calls on Him to exterminate him if he
lies. " A vision of the hoary-bearded Grand Cophta himself
makes night solemn. In vain! The sherds of that broken
red-lead crucible, which pretends to stand here unbroken
half-full of silver, lie there, before your eyes: that " resem-
blance of a sleeping child," grown visible in the magic cooking
of our Elixir, proves to be an inserted rosemary-leaf; the
Grand Cophta cannot be gone too soon.
Count "M. ," balancing towards the opposite extreme,
even thinks him inadequate as a Quack:
"Far from being modest," says this Unmasker, " he brags
beyond expression, in anybody's presence, especially in
women's, of the grand faculties he possesses. Every word
is an exaggeration, or a statement you feel to be improbable.
The smallest contradiction puts him in fury: his vanity
breaks through on all sides; he lets you give him a festival
that sets the whole city a-talking. Most impostors are
supple, and endeavour to gain friends. This one, you might
say, studies to appear arrogant, to make all men enemies, by
his rude injurious speeches, by the squabbles and grudges
he introduces among friends. " "He quarrels with his coad-
jutors for trifles; fancies that a simple giving of the he will
persuade the public that they are liars. " "Schropfer at
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? 284 Carlyle's Essays
Leipzig was far cleverer. " "He should get some ventrilo
quist for assistant: should read some Books of Chemistry
study the Tricks of Philadelphia and Comus. "1
Fair advices, good " M. ; " but do not you yourself admi
that he has a "natural genius for deception;" above a!
things "a forehead of brass (front d'airain), which nothing cai
disconcert"? To such a genius, and such a brow, Comu
and Philadelphia, and all the ventriloquists in Nature, cai
add little. Give the Archquack his due. These arrogancie
of his prove only that he is mounted on his high horse, and ha
now the world under him.
Such reverses, which will occur in the lot of every man, are
for our Cagliostro, but as specks in the blaze of the meridiai
Sun.
With undimmed lustre, he is, as heretofore, handed
over from this " Prince P. " to that Prince Q. ; among whicl
high believing potentates, what is an incredulous "Coun
M. "? His pockets are distended with ducats and diamonds:
he is off to Vienna, to Frankfort, to Strasburg, by extra post
and there also will work miracles. "The train he commonl)
took with him," says the Inquisition-Biographer, "corre
sponded to the rest; he always travelled post, with a consider-
able suite: couriers, lackeys, body-servants, domestics of all
sorts, sumptuously dressed, gave an air of reality to the high
birth he vaunted. The very liveries he got made at Paris
cost twenty louis each. Apartments furnished in the height
of the mode; a magnificent table, open to numerous guests;
rich dresses for himself and his wife, corresponded to this
luxurious way of life. His feigned generosity likewise made
a great noise. Often he gratuitously doctored the poor, and
even gave them alms. " 1
In the inside of all this splendid travelling and lodging
economy are to be seen, as we know, two suspicious-looking
rouged or unrouged figures, of a Count and a Countess;
lolling on their cushions there, with a jaded, haggard kind of
aspect; they eye one another sullenly, in silence, with a scarce-
suppressed indignation; for each thinks the other does not
work enough and eats too much. Whether Dame Lorenza
followed her peculiar side of the business with reluctance or
with free alacrity, is a moot-point among Biographers: not
so that, with her choleric adipose Archquack, she had a sour
1 Cagliostro dimasqul a Varsovic, en 1780, pp. 35 et seq. (Paris, 1786. )
* Vie de Joseph Balsamo, p. 41.
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? Count Cagliostro
285
ife of it, and brawling abounded. If we look still farther
nwards, and try to penetrate the inmost self-consciousness,
vhat in another man would be called the conscience, of the
\rchquack himself, the view gets most uncertain; little or
lothing to be seen but a thick fallacious haze. Which indeed
oas the main thing extant there. Much in the Count Front-
i'airain remains dubious; yet hardly this: his want of clear
. nsight into anything, most of all into his own inner man.
Cunning in the supreme degree he has; intellect next to none.
Nay, is not cunning (couple it with an esurient character) the
natural consequence of defective intellect? It is properly the
vehement exercise of a short, poor vision; of an intellect sunk,
bemired; which can attain to no free vision, otherwise it
would lead the esurient man to be honest.
Meanwhile gleams of muddy light will occasionally visit all
mortals; every living creature (according to Milton, the very
Devil) has some more or less faintresemblance to a Conscience;
must make inwardly certain auricular confessions,absolutions,
professions of faith,--were it only that he does not yet quite
loathe, and so proceed to hang himself. What such a Porcus
as Cagliostro might specially feel, and think, and be, were diffi-
cult in any case to say; much more when contradiction and
mystification, designed and unavoidable, so involve the
matter. One of the most authentic documents preserved of
him is the Picture of his Visage. An Effigies once universally
diffused; in oil-paint, aquatint, marble, stucco, and perhaps
gingerbread, decorating millions of apartments: of which
remarkable Effigies one copy, engraved in the line-manner,
happily still lies here. Fittest of visages; worthy to be worn
by the Quack of Quacks! A most portentous face of scoundrel-
ism: a fat, snub, abominable face; dew-lapped, flat-nosed,
greasy, full of greediness, sensuality, oxlike obstinacy; a fore-
head impudent, refusing to be ashamed; and then two eyes
turned up seraphically languishing, as in divine contemplation
and adoration; a touch of quiz too; on the whole, perhaps
the most perfect ? quack - face produced by the eighteenth
century. There he sits, and seraphically languishes, with this
epigraph:
De I'A mi des Humains reconnaisscz les traits:
Tous ses jours sont marquis par de nouveaux bienfaits,
II prolonge la vie, it secourt I'indigence;
Le plaisir d'ttre utile est seul sa recompense.
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? 286 Carlyle's Essays
A probable conjecture were, that this same Theosophy,
Theophilanthropy, Solacement of the Poor, to which our Arch-
quack now more and more betook himself, might serve not
only as bird-lime for external game, but also half-uncon-
sciously as salve for assuaging his own spiritual sores. Am
not I a charitable man? could the Archquack say: if I have
erred myself, have I not, by theosophic unctuous discourses,
removed much cause of error? The lying, the quackery,
what are these but the method of accommodating yourself
to the temper of men; of getting their ear, their dull long ear,
which Honesty had no chance to catch? Nay, at worst, is
not this an unjust world; full of nothing but beasts of prey,
four-footed or two-footed? Nature has commanded, saying:
Man, help thyself. Ought not the man of my genius, since he
was not born a Prince, since in these scandalous times he has
not been elected a Prince, to make himself one? If not by
open violence, for which he wants military force, then surely
by superior science,--exercised in a private way. Heal the
diseases of the Poor, the far deeper diseases of the Ignorant;
in a word, found Egyptian Lodges, and get the means of
founding them. --By such soliloquies can Count Front-of-
brass Pinchbeckostom, in rare atrabiliar hours of self-
questionings, compose himself. For the rest, such hours are
rare: the Count is a man of action and digestion, not of
self - questioning; usually the day brings its abundant
task; there is no time for abstractions,--of the metaphysical
sort.
Be this as it may, the Count has arrived at Strasburg; is
working higher wonders than ever. At Strasburg, indeed, in
the year 1783, occurs his apotheosis; what we can call the
culmination and Fourth Act of his Life-drama. He was here
for a number of months; in full blossom and radiance, the
envy and admiration of the world. In large hired hospitals,
he with open drug-box containing " Extract of Saturn," and
even with open purse, relieves the suffering poor; unfolds
himself lamb-like, angelic to a believing few, of the rich
classes; turns a silent minatory lion-face to unbelievers, were
they of the richest. Medical miracles have in all times been
common: but what miracle is this of an Oriental or Occidental
Serene-Excellence, who, "regardless of expense," employs
himself not in preserving game, but in curing sickness, in
illuminating ignorance? Behold how he dives, at noonday,
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? Count Cagliostro
287
into the infectious hovels of the mean; and on the equipages,
haughtinesses, and even dinner-invitations of the great, turns
anly his negatory front-of-brass! The Prince Cardinal de
Rohan, Archbishop of Strasburg, first-class peer of France,
ol the Blood-royal of Brittany, intimates a wish to see him!
he answers: "If Monseigneur the Cardinal is sick, let him
come, and I will cure him; if he is well, he has no need of me,
I none of him. " 1
Heaven meanwhile has sent him a few disciples: by a nice
tact, he knows his man; to one speaks only of Spagiric Medi-
cine, Downfall of Tyranny, and the Egyptian Lodge; to
another, of quite high matters, beyond this diurnal sphere, of
visits from the Angel of Light, visits from him of Darkness;
passing a Statue of Christ, he will pause with a wondrously
accented plaintive "Ha! " as of recognition, as of thousand-
years remembrance; and when questioned, sink into mysteri-
ous silence. Is he the Wandering Jew, then? Heaven
knows! At Strasburg, in a word, Fortune not only smiles
but laughs upon him: as crowning favour, he finds here the
richest, inflammablest, most open-handed Dupe ever yet
vouchsafed him; no other than that same many-titled Louis
de Rohan; strong in whose favour, he can laugh again at
Fortune.
Let the curious reader look at him, for an instant or two,
through the eyes of two eye-witnesses: the Abb6 Georgel,
Prince Louis's diplomatic Factotum, and Herr Meiners, the
Gottingen Professor:
>> "Admitted at length," says our too-prosing Jesuit Abbd,
"to the sanctuary of this jEsculapius, Prince Louis saw,
according to his own account, in the incommunicative man's
^physiognomy, something so dignified, so imposing, that he
felt penetrated with a religious awe, and reverence dictated
his address. Their interview, which was brief, excited more
keenly than ever his desire of farther acquaintance. He
attained it at length: and the crafty empiric graduated so
cunningly his words and procedure, that he gained, without
appearing to court it, the Cardinal's entire confidence, and
the greatest ascendency over his will. 'Your soul,' said he
,one day to the Prince, 'is worthy of mine; you deserve to
be made participator of all my secrets. ' Such an avowal
captivated the whole faculties, intellectual and moral, of a
1 Mtmoircs de I'Abbi Georgel, ii. 48.
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? 288 Carlyle's Essays
man who at all times had hunted after secrets of alchymy and
botany. From this moment their union became intimate
and public: Cagliostro went and established himself at
Saverne, while his Eminency was residing there; theii
solitary interviews were long and frequent. " . . . " I re-
member once, having learnt, by a sure way, that Baron de
Planta (his Eminency's man of affairs) had frequent, most
expensive orgies, in the Archiepiscopal Palace, where Tokaj
wine ran like water, to regale Cagliostro and his pretended
wife, I thought it my duty to inform the Cardinal: his answei
was, 'I know it; I have even authorised him to commit
abuses, if he judge fit. '" . . . " He came at last to have nc
other will than Cagliostro's: and to such a length had it gone,
that this sham Egyptian, finding it good to quit Strasburg
for a time, and retire into Switzerland, the Cardinal, apprised
thereof, despatched his Secretary as well to attend him, as
to obtain Predictions from him; such were transmitted
in cipher to the Cardinal on every point he needed to
consult of "1--
"Before ever I arrived in Strasburg" (hear now the as
prosing Protestant Professor), "I knew almost to a certainty
that I should not see Count Cagliostro; at least, not get to
speak with him. From many persons I had heard that he,
on no account, received visits from curious Travellers, in a
state of health; that such as, without being sick, appeared
in his audiences were sure to be treated by him, in the brutal-
est way, as spies. " . . . " Nevertheless, though I saw not
this new god of Physic near at hand and deliberately, but
only for a moment as he rolled on in a rapid carriage, I fancy
myself to be better acquainted with him than many that have
lived in his society for months. " "My unavoidable convic-
tion is, that Count Cagliostro, from of old, has been more of
a cheat than an enthusiast; and also that he continues a
cheat to this day.
"As to his country I have ascertained nothing. Some
make him a Spaniard, others a Jew, or an Italian, or a
Ragusan; or even an Arab, who had persuaded some Asiatic
Prince to send his son to travel in Europe, and then murdered
the youth, and taken possession of his treasures. As the
self-styled Count speaks badly all the languages you hear
from him, and has most likely spent the greater part of his
1 Georgel, ubi supra.
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? Count Cagliostro
289
life under feigned names far from home, it is probable enough
no sure trace of his origin may ever be discovered. "
"On his first appearance in Strasburg he connected him-
self with the Freemasons; but only till he felt strong enough
to stand on his own feet: he soon gained the favour of the
Praetor and the Cardinal; and through these the favour of
the Court, to such a degree that his adversaries cannot so
much as think of overthrowing him. With the Praetor and
Cardinal he is said to demean himself as with persons who
were under boundless obligation to him, to whom he was
under none: the equipage of the Cardinal he seems to use as
freely as his own. He pretends that he can recognise Atheists
or Blasphemers by the smell; that the vapour from such
throws him into epileptic fits; into which sacred disorder he,
like a true juggler, has the art of falling when he likes. In
public he no longer vaunts of rule over spirits, or other
magical arts; but I know, even as certainly, that he still
pretends to evoke spirits, and by their help and apparition
to heal diseases, as I know this other fact, that he understands
no more of the human system, or the nature of its diseases,
or the use of the commonest therapeutic methods, than any
other quack. "
"According to the crediblest accounts of persons who have
long observed him, he is a man to an inconceivable degree
choleric {heftig), heedless, inconstant; and therefore doubt-
less it was the happiest idea he ever in his whole life came
upon, this of making himself inaccessible; of raising the
most obstinate reserve as a bulwark round him; without
which precaution he must long ago have been caught at
fault.
"For his own labour he takes neither payment nor present:
when presents are made him of such a sort as cannot without
offence be refused, he forthwith returns some counter-present,
of equal or still higher value. Nay he not only takes nothing
from his patients, but frequently admits them, months long,
to his house and his table, and will not consent to the smallest
recompense. With all this disinterestedness (conspicuous
enough, as you may suppose), he lives in an expensive way,
- plays deep, loses almost constantly to ladies; so that, accord-
ing to the very lowest estimate, he must require at least
20,000 livres a-year. The darkness which Cagliostro has,
on purpose, spread over the sources of his income and outlay,
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? 290 Carlyle's Essays
contributes even more than his munificence and miraculous
cures to the notion that he is a divine extraordinary man,
who has watched Nature in her deepest operations, and among
other secrets stolen that of Gold-making from her. " . . .
"With a mixture of sorrow and indignation over our age, I
have to record that this man has found acceptance, not only
among the great, who from of old have been the easiest be-
witched by such, but also with many of the learned, and even
physicians and naturalists. "1
Halcyon days; only too good to continue! All glory runs
its course; has its culmination, and then its often precipitous
decline. Eminency Rohan, with fervid temper and small in-
struction, perhaps of dissolute, certainly of dishonest manners,
in whom the faculty of Wonder had attained such prodigious
development, was indeed the very stranded whale for jackals
to feed on: unhappily, however, no one jackal could long be
left in solitary possession of him. A sharper-toothed she-
jackal now strikes in; bites infinitely deeper; stranded whale
and he-jackal both are like to become her prey. A young
French Mantua-maker, "Countess de La Motte-Valois,
descended from Henri II. by the bastard line," without
Extract of Saturn, Egyptian Masonry, or any verbal con-
ference with Dark Angels,--has genius enough to get her
finger in the Archquack's rich Hermetic Projection, appropri-
ate the golden proceeds, and even finally break the crucible.
Prince Cardinal Louis de Rohan is off to Paris, under her
guidance, to see the long-invisible Queen, or Queen's Appari-
tion; to pick up the Rose in the Garden of Trianon, dropt
by her fair sham-royal hand; and then--descend rapidly to
the Devil, and drag Cagliostro along with him.
The intelligent reader observes, we have now arrived at
that stupendous business of the Diamond Necklace: into the
dark complexities of which we need not here do more than
glance: who knows but, next month, our Historical Chapter,
written specially on this subject, may itself see the light?
Enough, for the present, if we fancy vividly the poor whale
Cardinal, so deep in the adventure that Grand-Cophtic
"predictions transmitted in cipher " will no longer illumin-
ate him; but the Grand Cophta must leave all masonic or
other business, happily begun in Naples, Bourdeaux, Lyons,
and come personally to Paris with predictions at first hand.
1 Meiners: Briefe iiber die Schweis (as quoted in Mirabeau).
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? Count Cagliostro
291
"The new Calchas," says poor Abbe Georgel, "must have
read the entrails of his victim ill; for, on issuing from these
communications with the Angel of Light and of Darkness, he
prophesied to the Cardinal that this happy correspondence,"
with the Queen's Similitude, " would place him at the highest
point of favour; that his influence in the Government would
soon become paramount; that he would use it for the propaga-
tion of good principles, the glory of the Supreme Being, and
the happiness of Frenchmen. " The new Calchas was indeed
at fault: but how could he be otherwise? Let these high
Queen's-favours, and all terrestrial shiftings of the wind,
turn as they will, his reign, he can well see, is appointed to be
temporary; in the mean while, Tokay flows like water;
prophecies of good, not of evil, are the method to keep it
flowing. Thus if, for Circe de La Motte-Valois, the Egyptian
Masonry is but a foolish enchanted cup wherewith to turn her
fat Cardinal into a quadruped, she herself converse-wise, for
the Grand Cophta, is one who must ever fodder said quad-
ruped with Court hopes, and stall-feed him fatter and fatter,
--it is expected, for the knife of both parties. They are
mutually useful; live in peace, and Tokay festivity, though
mutually suspicious, mutually contemptuous. So stand
matters through the spring and summer months of the
year 1785.
But fancy next that--while Tokay is flowing within doors,
and abroad Egyptian Lodges are getting founded, and gold
and glory, from Paris as from other cities, supernaturally
'coming in,--the latter end of August has arrived, and with it
Commissary Chesnon, to lodge the whole unholy Brotherhood,
from Cardinal down to Sham-queen, in separate cells of the
Bastille! There, for nine long months, let them howl and wail,
in bass or in treble; and emit the falsest of false Memoires;
among which that Memoire -pour le Comle de Cagliostro, en
presence des autres Co-Accuses, with its Trebisond Acharats,
Scherifs of Mecca, and Nature's unfortunate Child, all gravely
printed with French types in the year 1786, may well bear
the palm. Fancy that Necklace or Diamonds will nowhere
unearth themselves; that the Tuileries Palace sits struck
'with astonishment and speechless chagrin; that Paris, that
all Europe, is ringing with the wonder. That Count Pront-
of-Brass Pinchbeckostom, confronted, at the judgment-bar,
with a shrill glib Circe de La Motte, has need of all his
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? 292 Carlyle's Essays
eloquence; that nevertheless the Front-of-brass prevails, and
exasperated Circe "throws a candlestick at him. " Finally,
that on the 31st of May 1786, the assembled Parliament of
Paris, "at nine in the evening, after a sitting of eighteen
hours," has solemnly pronounced judgment: and now that
Cardinal Louis is gone "to his estates;" Countess de La
Motte is shaven on the head, branded, with red-hot iron,
"V" (Voleuse) on both shoulders, and confined for life to
the Salpetriere; her Count wandering uncertain, with dia-
monds for sale, over the British Empire; that the Sieur de
Villette, for handling a queen's pen, is banished forever; the
too-queenlike Demoiselle Gay d'Oliva (with her unfathered
infant) " put out of Court; "--and Grand Cophta Cagliostro
liberated indeed, but pillaged, and ordered forthwith to take
himself away. His disciples illuminate their windows; but
what does that avail? Commissary Chesnon, Bastille-
Governor De Launay cannot recollect the least particular
of those priceless effects, those gold-rouleaus, repeating
watches of his: he must even retire to Passy that very night,
and two days afterwards, sees nothing for it but Boulogne
and England. Thus does the miserable pickle - herring
tragedy of the Diamond Necklace wind itself up, and wind
Cagliostro once more to inhospitable shores.
Arrived here, and lodged tolerably in "Sloane Street,
Knightsbridge," by the aid of a certain Mr. Swinton, whilom
broken Wine-merchant, now Apothecary, to whom he carries
introductions, he can drive a small trade in Egyptian pills,
such as one "sells in Paris at thirty-shillings the dram;"
in unctuously discoursing to Egyptian Lodges; in "giving
public audiences as at Strasburg,"--if so be any one will
bite. At all events, he can, by the aid of amanuensis-disciples,
compose and publish his Lettre au Peuple Anglais; setting
forth his unheard-of generosities, unheard-of injustices
suffered, in a world not worthy of him, at the hands of English
Lawyers, Bastille-Governors, French Counts, and others4,
his Lettre aux Francais, singing to the same tune, predicting
too, what many inspired Editors had already boded, that
"the Bastille would be destroyed," and " a King would come
who should govern by States - General. " But, alas, the
shafts of Criticism are busy with him; so many hostile eyes
look towards him; the world, in short, is getting too hot for
him. Mark, nevertheless, how the brow of brass quails not;
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? Count Cagliostro
293
nay a touch of his old poetic Humour, even in this sad crisis,
unexpectedly unfolds itself.
One De Morande, Editor of a Courrier de VEurope published
here at that period, has for some time made it his distinction
to be the foremost of Cagliostro's enemies. Cagliostro, endur-
ing much in silence, happens once, in some " public audience,"
to mention a practice he had witnessed in Arabia the Stony:
the people there, it seems, are in the habit of fattening a few
pigs annually, on provender mixed with arsenic, whereby the
whole pig-carcass by and by becomes, so to speak, arsenical;
the arsenical pigs are then let loose in the woods; eaten by
lions, leopards and other ferocious creatures; which latter
naturally all die in consequence, and so the woods are cleared
af them. This adroit practice the Sieur Morande thought a
proper subject for banter; and accordingly, in his Seven-
teenth and two following Numbers, made merry enough with
it. Whereupon Count Front-of-brass, whose patience has
limits, writes as Advertisement (still to be read in old files of
the Public Advertiser, under date September 3,1786), a French
Letter, not without causticity and aristocratic disdain;
challenging the witty Sieur to breakfast with him, for the
9th of November next, in the face of the world, on an actual
Sucking Pig, fattened by Cagliostro, but cooked, carved and
selected from by the Sieur Morande,--under bet of Five
Thousand Guineas sterling that, next morning thereafter,
he the Sieur Morande shall be dead, and Count Cagliostro be
alive I The poor Sieur durst not cry, Done; and backed-out
of the transaction, making wry faces. Thus does a kind of
red coppery splendour encircle our Archquack's decline; thus
with brow of brass, grim smiling, does he meet his destiny.
? 276 Carlyle's Essays
almost transparent Figure rises from the very bosom of th
pile. At sight of it, the five prostrated men fall into coc
vulsions insupportable to look on; the too faithful image c
those foaming struggles wherein a mortal, at handgrips wit
a sudden pain, ends by sinking under it.
"Then a trembling voice pierces the vault, and articulate
the formula of those execrable oaths that are to be sworn
my pen falters; I think myself almost guilty to retrace them.
O Luchet, what a taking! Is there no hope left, thinkes
thou? Thy brain is all gone to addled albumen; help seem
none, if not in that last mother's-bosom of all the ruined
Brandy-and-water! --An unfeeling world may laugh; bu
ought to recollect that, forty years ago, these things were sai
realities,--in the heads of many men.
As to the execrable oaths, this seems the main one
"Honour and respect Aqua Toff ana, as a sure, prompt am
necessary means of purging the Globe, by the death or tb
hebetation of such as endeavour to debase the Truth, or snatcl
it from our hands. " And so the catastrophe ends by bathinj
our poor half-dead Recipiendary first in blood, then, afte:
some genuflexions, in water; and "serving him a repas;
composed of roots,"--we grieve to say, mere potatoes-and
point!
Figure now all this boundless cunningly devised Agglome-
rate of royal-arches, death's-heads, hieroglyphically paintec
screens, Columbs in the state of innocence; with spacious
masonic halls, dark, or in the favourablest theatrical light-and-
dark; Kircher's magic-lantern, Belshazzar hand-writings, of
phosphorus: "plaintive tones," gong-beatings; hoary beard
of a supernatural Grand Cophta emerging from the gloom ;--
and how it acts, not only indirectly through the foolish senses
of men, but directly on their Imagination; connecting itself
with Enoch and Elias, with Philanthropy, Immortality,
Eleutheromania, and Adam Weisshaupt's Illuminati, and
so downwards to the infinite Deep: figure all this; and in
the centre of it, sitting eager and alert, the skilfulest Panour-
gos, working the mighty chaos, into a creation--of ready-
money. In such a wide plastic ocean of sham and foam had
the Archquack now happily begun to envelop himself.
Accordingly he goes forth prospering and to prosper. Ar-
rived in any City, he has but by masonic grip to accredit him-
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? Count Cagliostro 277
2lf with the Venerable of the place; and, not by degrees as
jrmerly, but in a single night, is introduced in Grand Lodge
d all that is fattest and foolishest far or near; and in the
ttest arena, a gilt-pasteboard Masonic hall. There between
he two pillars of Jachin and Boaz, can the great Sheepstealer
ee his whole flock of Dupeables assembled in one penfold;
ffectionately blatant, licking the hand they are to bleed
>y. Victorious Acharat-Beppo! The genius of Amazement,
aoreover, has now shed her glory round him; he is radiant-
leaded, a supernatural by his very gait. Behold him every-
/here welcomed with vivats, or in awestruck silence: gilt-
lasteboard Freemasons receive him under the Steel-Arch of
xossed sabres; he mounts to the Seat of the Venerable;
lolds high discourse hours long, on Masonry, Morality,
Jniversal Science, Divinity, and Things in general, with " a
ublimity, an emphasis and unction," proceeding, it appears,
'from the special inspiration of the Holy Ghost. " Then
;here are Egyptian Lodges to be founded, corresponded with,
--a thing involving expense; elementary fractions of many
1 priceless arcanum, nay if the place will stand it, of the
Pentagon itself, can be given to the purified in life: how
;ladly would he give them, but they have to be brought from
:he uttermost ends of the world, and cost money. Now too,
with what tenfold impetuosity do all the old trades of
Egyptian Drops, Beauty - waters, Secret - favours, expand
themselves, and rise in price! Life-weary moneyed Do-
lothing, this seraphic Countess is Grand Priestess of the
Egyptian Female Lodges; has a touch of the supramundane
Undine in her: among all thy intrigues, hadst thou ever yet
Endymion-like an intrigue with the lunar Diana,--called also
Hecate? And thou, 0 antique, much-loving faded Dowager,
this Squire-of-dames can, it appears probable, command
the Seven Angels, Uriel, Anachiel and Company; at lowest,
has the eyes of all Europe fixed on him! --The dog pockets
money enough, and can seem to despise money.
To us, much meditating on the matter, it seemed perhaps
strangest of all, how Count Cagliostro, received under the
Steel Arch, could hold Discourses, of from one to three hours
long, on Universal Science, of such unction, we do not say as
to seem inspired by the Holy Spirit, but as not to get him
lugged out of doors directly after his first head of method, and
drowned in whole oceans of salt-and-water. The man could
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? 278 Carlylc's Essays
not speak; only babble in long-winded diffusions, chaa
circumvolutions tending nowhither. He had no thought I
speaking with; he had not even a language. His SiciB
Italian, and Laquais-de-place French, garnished with shia
from all European dialects, was wholly intelligible to 1
mortal; a Tower-of-Babel jargon, which made many thi
him a kind of Jew. But indeed, with the language of Greek
or of Angels, what better were it? The man, once for a
has no articulate utterance; that tongue of his emits nois
enough, but no speech. Let him begin the plainest story, t
stream stagnates at the first stage; chafes, " ahem! ahem!
loses itself in the earth; or, bursting over, flies abroad witl
out bank or channel,--into separate plashes. Not a streat
but a lake, a wide-spread indefinite marsh. His who
thought is confused, inextricable; what thought, what r
semblance of thought he has, cannot deliver itself, excej
in gasps, blustering gushes, spasmodic refluences, whit
make bad worse. Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble: ho
thou bubblest, foolish "Bubblyjock "! Hear him once, an
on a dead-lift occasion, as the Inquisition Gurney reports ii
"' I mean and I wish to mean, that even as those wh
honour their father and mother, and respect the sovereig
Pontiff, are blessed of God; even so all that I did, I did it b
the order of God, with the power which he vouchsafed to mi
and to the advantage of God and of Holy Church; and
mean to give the proofs of all that I have done and said, nc
only physically but morally, by showing that as I have serve
God for God and by the power of God, he has given me at la;
the counterpoison to confound and combat Hell; for I kno'
no other enemies than those that are in Hell, and if I ai
wrong, the Holy Father will punish me; if I am right, he wi
reward me; and if the Holy Father could get into his hand
to-night these answers of mine, I predict to all brethren, be
lievers and unbelievers, that I should be at liberty to-morroi
morning. ' Being desired to give these proofs then, h
answered: 'To prove that I have been chosen of God as a
apostle to defend and propagate religion, I say that as th
Holy Church has instituted pastors to demonstrate in fac
of the world that she is the true Catholic faith, even so, havin
operated with approbation and by the counsel of pastors of th
Holy Church, I am, as I said, fully justified in regard to all m
operations; and these pastors have assured me that m;
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? Count Cagliostro
279
jjyptian Order was divine, and deserved to be formed into an
-der sanctioned by the Holy Father, as I said in another
terrogatory. '"
How then, in the name of wonder, said we, could such a
ibbling, bubbling Turkey-cock speak " with unction "?
Two things here are to be taken into account. First, the
fierence between speaking and public speaking; a difference
together generic. Secondly, the wonderful power of a
:rtain audacity, often named impudence. Was it never thy
ird fortune, good Reader, to attend any Meeting convened
>r Public purposes; any Bible-Society, Reform, Conservative,
hatched - Tavern, Hogg Dinner, or other such Meeting?
hou hast seen some full-fed Long-ear, by free determination
r on sweet constraint, start to his legs, and give voice. Well
ware wert thou that there was not, had not been, could not
e, in that entire ass-cranium of his any fraction of an idea:
evertheless mark him. If at first an ominous haze flit
ound, and nothing, not even nonsense, dwell in his recollec-
ion,--heed it not; let him but plunge desperately on, the
pell is broken. Commonplaces enough are at hand: " labour
i love," " rights of suffering millions," " throne and altar,"
'divine gift of song," or what else it may be; the Meeting,
>y its very name, has environed itself in a given element of
Commonplace. But anon, behold how his talking-organs get
seated, and the friction vanishes; cheers, applauses, with
. he previous dinner and strong drink, raise him to height of
loblest temper. And now, as for your vociferous Dullard, is
iasiest of all, let him keep on the soft, safe parallel course;
parallel to the Truth, or nearly so; for Heaven's sake,
not in contact with it: no obstacle will meet him; on the
(avouring given element of Commonplace he triumphantly
careers.
He is as the ass, whom you took and cast headlong into the
water: the water at first threatens to swallow him; but he
? Snds, to his astonishment, that he can swim therein, that it is
buoyant and bears him along. One sole condition is indis-
pensable: audacity, vulgarly called impudence. Our ass
must commit himself to his watery " element; " in free daring,
Strike-forth his four limbs from him: then shall he not drown
and sink, but shoot gloriously forward, and swim, to the
admiration of bystanders. The ass, safe landed on the other
bank, shakes his rough hide, wonder-struck himself at the
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? 280 Carlyle's Essays
faculty that lay in him, and waves joyfully his long ears: sc
too the public speaker. Cagliostro, as we know him of old
is not without a certain blubbery oiliness of soul as of body
with vehemence lying under it; has the volublest, noisies
tongue; and in the audacity vulgarly called impudence L
without a fellow. The Commonplaces of such Steel-Arcl
Meetings are soon at his finger-ends: that same blubber
oiliness and vehemence lying under it, once give them ai
element and stimulus, are the very gift of a fluent publi
speaker--to Dupeables.
Here too let us mention a circumstance, not insignificant
if true, which it may readily enough be. In younger years
Beppo Balsamo once, it is recorded, took some pains to pro
cure, "from a country vicar," under quite false pretences
"a bit of cotton steeped in holy oils. " What could such bi
of cotton steeped in holy oils do for him? An Unbelieve:
from any basis of conviction the unbelieving Beppo coult
never be; but solely from stupidity and bad morals. Migh
there not lie in that chaotic blubbery nature of his, at tb<
bottom of all, a certain musk-grain of real Superstitiou:
Belief? How wonderfully such a musk-grain of Belief wil
flavour, and impregnate with seductive odour, a whole inwarc
world of Quackery, so that every fibre thereof shall smel
musk, is well known. No Quack can persuade like him whc
has himself some persuasion. Nay, so wondrous is the acl
of Believing, Deception and Self-Deception must, rigorous! }
speaking, coexist in all Quacks; and he perhaps were definable
as the best Quack, in whom the smallest musk-grain of the
latter would sufficiently flavour the largest mass of the
former.
But indeed, as we know otherwise, was there not in Cagli-
ostro a certain pinchbeck counterfeit of all that is golden and
good in man, of somewhat even that is best? Cheers, and
illuminated hieroglyphs,and the ravishmentof thronging audi-
ences, can make him maudlin; his very wickedness of practice
will render him louder in eloquence of theory; and "philan-
thropy," "divine science," "depth of unknown worlds,"
"finer feelings of the heart," and suchlike shall draw tears
from most asses of sensibility. Neither, indeed, is it of
moment how few his elementary Commonplaces are, how
empty his head is, so he but agitate it well: thus a lead-drop
or two, put into the emptiest dry-bladder, and jingled to and
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? Count Cagliostro
281
ro, will make noise enough; and even, if skilfully jingled,
1 kind of martial music.
Such is the Cagliostric palaver, that bewitches all manner
>f believing souls. If the ancient Father was named Chrysos-
:om, or Mouth-of-Gold, be the modern Quack named Pinch-
jeckostom, or Mouth-of-Pinchbeck; in an Age of Bronze such
netal finds elective affinities. On the whole, too, it is worth
;onsidering what element your Quack specially works in:
;he element of Wonder! The Genuine, be he artist or artisan,
works in the finitude of the Known; the Quack in the infini-
:ude of the Unknown. And then how, in rapidest progression,
ne grows and advances, once start him! Your name is up,
says the adage; you may lie in bed. A nimbus of renown
and preternatural astonishment envelops Cagliostro; en-
chants the general eye. The few reasoning mortals scattered
here and there who see through him, deafened in the universal
hubbub, shut their lips in sorrowful disdain; confident in the
grand remedy, Time. The Enchanter meanwhile rolls on his
way; what boundless materials of Deceptibility, what greedi-
ness and ignorance, especially what prurient brute-mindedness,
exist over Europe in this the most deceivable of modern ages,
are stirred up, fermenting in his behoof. He careers onward
as a Comet; his nucleus, of paying and praising Dupes, em-
braces, in long radius, what city and province he rests over;
his thinner tail, of wondering and curious Dupes, stretches
into remotest lands. Good Lavater, from amid his Swiss
Mountains, could say of him; "Cagliostro, a man; and a
-man such as few are; in whom, however, I am not a believer.
O that he were simple of heart and humble, like a child; that
he had feeling for the simplicity of the Gospel, and the majesty
pt the Lord (Hoheit des Herrn)! Who were so great as he?
Cagliostro often tells what is not true, and promises what he
does not perform. Yet do I nowise hold his operations as
deception, though they are not what he calls them. "1 If
good Lavater could so say of him, what must others have
been saying!
Comet-wise, progressing with loud flourish of kettle-drums,
everywhere under the Steel-Arch, evoking spirits, transmuting
metals (to such as could stand it), the Archquack has tra-
versed Saxony; at Leipzig has run athwart the hawser of a
1 Lettre du Comte Mirabeau sur Cagliostro et Lavater, p. 42. (Berl.
1786. )
nw t
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? 282 Carlyle's Essays
brother quack (poor Schropfer, here scarcely recognisabl
as " Scieffert "), and wrecked him. Through Eastern Gei
many, Prussian Poland, he progresses; and so now at lengtt
in the spring of 1780, has arrived at Petersburg. His pavilio:
is erected here, his flag prosperously hoisted: Mason-lodge
have long ears; he is distributing, as has now become hi
wont, Spagiric Food, medicine for the poor; a train-oil Princi
Potemkin or something like him, for accounts are dubious
feels his chops water over a seraphic Seraphina: all goe
merry, and promises the best. But in those despotic cour
tries, the Police is so arbitrary! Cagliostro's thaum'aturg
must be overhauled by the Empress's Physician (Mouncey,
hard Annandale Scot); is found nought, the Spagiric Foo
unfit for a dog: and so, the whole particulars of his Lordship1
conduct being put together, the result is, that he must leav
Petersburg, in a given brief term of hours. Happy for hii
that it was so brief: scarcely is he gone, till the Prussia
Ambassador appears with a complaint, that he has falsel
assumed the Prussian uniform at Rome; the Spanish An
bassador with a still graver complaint, that he has forge
bills at Cadiz. However, he is safe over the marches: le
them complain their fill.
In Courland, and in Poland, great things await him; ye
not unalloyed by two small reverses. The famed Countes
von der Recke, a born Fair Saint, what the Germans ca
Schone Seele, as yet quite young in heart and experience, bu
broken down with grief for departed friends,--seeks to ques
tion the world-famous Spirit-summoner on the secrets of th
Invisible Kingdoms; whither, with fond strained eyes, sh
is incessantly looking. The galimathias of Pinchbeckoston
cannot impose on this pure-minded simple woman: sb
recognises the Quack in him, and in a printed Book make
known the same: Mephisto's mortifying experience witl
Margaret, as above foretold, renews itself for Cagliostro.
At Warsaw too, though he discourses on Egyptian Masonry
on Medical Philosophy, and the ignorance of Doctors, anc
performs successfully with Pupil and Columb, a certaii
"Count M. " cherishes more than doubt; which ends ii
certainty, in a written Cagliostro Unmasked. The Archquack
triumphant, sumptuously feasted in the city, has retired witl
a chosen set of believers, with whom, however, was this un
1 Zeitgenossen, No. 15. ? Frau von der Recke.
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? Count Cagliostro
idieving " M. ," into the country; to transmute metals, to
irepare perhaps the Pentagon itself. All that night, before
eaving Warsaw, "our dear Master" had spent conversing
irith spirits. Spirits? cries "M. :" Not he; but melting
lucats: he has a melted mass of them in this crucible, which
low, by sleight of hand, he would fain substitute for that
ither, filled, as you all saw, with red-lead, carefully luted
lown, smelted, set to cool, smuggled from among our hands,
md now (look at it, ye asses! )---found broken and hidden
imong these bushes!
Neither does the Pentagon, or Elixir of Life, or whatever it
vas, prosper better. "Our sweet Master enters into expos-
elation: " " swears by his great God, and his honour, that he
will finish the work and make us happy. He carries his
modesty so far as to propose that he shall work with chains
an his feet; and consents to lose his life, by the hands of his
disciples, if before the end of the fourth passage, his word be
not made good. He lays his hand on the ground, and kisses
it; holds it up to Heaven, and again takes God to witness
that he speaks true; calls on Him to exterminate him if he
lies. " A vision of the hoary-bearded Grand Cophta himself
makes night solemn. In vain! The sherds of that broken
red-lead crucible, which pretends to stand here unbroken
half-full of silver, lie there, before your eyes: that " resem-
blance of a sleeping child," grown visible in the magic cooking
of our Elixir, proves to be an inserted rosemary-leaf; the
Grand Cophta cannot be gone too soon.
Count "M. ," balancing towards the opposite extreme,
even thinks him inadequate as a Quack:
"Far from being modest," says this Unmasker, " he brags
beyond expression, in anybody's presence, especially in
women's, of the grand faculties he possesses. Every word
is an exaggeration, or a statement you feel to be improbable.
The smallest contradiction puts him in fury: his vanity
breaks through on all sides; he lets you give him a festival
that sets the whole city a-talking. Most impostors are
supple, and endeavour to gain friends. This one, you might
say, studies to appear arrogant, to make all men enemies, by
his rude injurious speeches, by the squabbles and grudges
he introduces among friends. " "He quarrels with his coad-
jutors for trifles; fancies that a simple giving of the he will
persuade the public that they are liars. " "Schropfer at
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? 284 Carlyle's Essays
Leipzig was far cleverer. " "He should get some ventrilo
quist for assistant: should read some Books of Chemistry
study the Tricks of Philadelphia and Comus. "1
Fair advices, good " M. ; " but do not you yourself admi
that he has a "natural genius for deception;" above a!
things "a forehead of brass (front d'airain), which nothing cai
disconcert"? To such a genius, and such a brow, Comu
and Philadelphia, and all the ventriloquists in Nature, cai
add little. Give the Archquack his due. These arrogancie
of his prove only that he is mounted on his high horse, and ha
now the world under him.
Such reverses, which will occur in the lot of every man, are
for our Cagliostro, but as specks in the blaze of the meridiai
Sun.
With undimmed lustre, he is, as heretofore, handed
over from this " Prince P. " to that Prince Q. ; among whicl
high believing potentates, what is an incredulous "Coun
M. "? His pockets are distended with ducats and diamonds:
he is off to Vienna, to Frankfort, to Strasburg, by extra post
and there also will work miracles. "The train he commonl)
took with him," says the Inquisition-Biographer, "corre
sponded to the rest; he always travelled post, with a consider-
able suite: couriers, lackeys, body-servants, domestics of all
sorts, sumptuously dressed, gave an air of reality to the high
birth he vaunted. The very liveries he got made at Paris
cost twenty louis each. Apartments furnished in the height
of the mode; a magnificent table, open to numerous guests;
rich dresses for himself and his wife, corresponded to this
luxurious way of life. His feigned generosity likewise made
a great noise. Often he gratuitously doctored the poor, and
even gave them alms. " 1
In the inside of all this splendid travelling and lodging
economy are to be seen, as we know, two suspicious-looking
rouged or unrouged figures, of a Count and a Countess;
lolling on their cushions there, with a jaded, haggard kind of
aspect; they eye one another sullenly, in silence, with a scarce-
suppressed indignation; for each thinks the other does not
work enough and eats too much. Whether Dame Lorenza
followed her peculiar side of the business with reluctance or
with free alacrity, is a moot-point among Biographers: not
so that, with her choleric adipose Archquack, she had a sour
1 Cagliostro dimasqul a Varsovic, en 1780, pp. 35 et seq. (Paris, 1786. )
* Vie de Joseph Balsamo, p. 41.
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? Count Cagliostro
285
ife of it, and brawling abounded. If we look still farther
nwards, and try to penetrate the inmost self-consciousness,
vhat in another man would be called the conscience, of the
\rchquack himself, the view gets most uncertain; little or
lothing to be seen but a thick fallacious haze. Which indeed
oas the main thing extant there. Much in the Count Front-
i'airain remains dubious; yet hardly this: his want of clear
. nsight into anything, most of all into his own inner man.
Cunning in the supreme degree he has; intellect next to none.
Nay, is not cunning (couple it with an esurient character) the
natural consequence of defective intellect? It is properly the
vehement exercise of a short, poor vision; of an intellect sunk,
bemired; which can attain to no free vision, otherwise it
would lead the esurient man to be honest.
Meanwhile gleams of muddy light will occasionally visit all
mortals; every living creature (according to Milton, the very
Devil) has some more or less faintresemblance to a Conscience;
must make inwardly certain auricular confessions,absolutions,
professions of faith,--were it only that he does not yet quite
loathe, and so proceed to hang himself. What such a Porcus
as Cagliostro might specially feel, and think, and be, were diffi-
cult in any case to say; much more when contradiction and
mystification, designed and unavoidable, so involve the
matter. One of the most authentic documents preserved of
him is the Picture of his Visage. An Effigies once universally
diffused; in oil-paint, aquatint, marble, stucco, and perhaps
gingerbread, decorating millions of apartments: of which
remarkable Effigies one copy, engraved in the line-manner,
happily still lies here. Fittest of visages; worthy to be worn
by the Quack of Quacks! A most portentous face of scoundrel-
ism: a fat, snub, abominable face; dew-lapped, flat-nosed,
greasy, full of greediness, sensuality, oxlike obstinacy; a fore-
head impudent, refusing to be ashamed; and then two eyes
turned up seraphically languishing, as in divine contemplation
and adoration; a touch of quiz too; on the whole, perhaps
the most perfect ? quack - face produced by the eighteenth
century. There he sits, and seraphically languishes, with this
epigraph:
De I'A mi des Humains reconnaisscz les traits:
Tous ses jours sont marquis par de nouveaux bienfaits,
II prolonge la vie, it secourt I'indigence;
Le plaisir d'ttre utile est seul sa recompense.
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? 286 Carlyle's Essays
A probable conjecture were, that this same Theosophy,
Theophilanthropy, Solacement of the Poor, to which our Arch-
quack now more and more betook himself, might serve not
only as bird-lime for external game, but also half-uncon-
sciously as salve for assuaging his own spiritual sores. Am
not I a charitable man? could the Archquack say: if I have
erred myself, have I not, by theosophic unctuous discourses,
removed much cause of error? The lying, the quackery,
what are these but the method of accommodating yourself
to the temper of men; of getting their ear, their dull long ear,
which Honesty had no chance to catch? Nay, at worst, is
not this an unjust world; full of nothing but beasts of prey,
four-footed or two-footed? Nature has commanded, saying:
Man, help thyself. Ought not the man of my genius, since he
was not born a Prince, since in these scandalous times he has
not been elected a Prince, to make himself one? If not by
open violence, for which he wants military force, then surely
by superior science,--exercised in a private way. Heal the
diseases of the Poor, the far deeper diseases of the Ignorant;
in a word, found Egyptian Lodges, and get the means of
founding them. --By such soliloquies can Count Front-of-
brass Pinchbeckostom, in rare atrabiliar hours of self-
questionings, compose himself. For the rest, such hours are
rare: the Count is a man of action and digestion, not of
self - questioning; usually the day brings its abundant
task; there is no time for abstractions,--of the metaphysical
sort.
Be this as it may, the Count has arrived at Strasburg; is
working higher wonders than ever. At Strasburg, indeed, in
the year 1783, occurs his apotheosis; what we can call the
culmination and Fourth Act of his Life-drama. He was here
for a number of months; in full blossom and radiance, the
envy and admiration of the world. In large hired hospitals,
he with open drug-box containing " Extract of Saturn," and
even with open purse, relieves the suffering poor; unfolds
himself lamb-like, angelic to a believing few, of the rich
classes; turns a silent minatory lion-face to unbelievers, were
they of the richest. Medical miracles have in all times been
common: but what miracle is this of an Oriental or Occidental
Serene-Excellence, who, "regardless of expense," employs
himself not in preserving game, but in curing sickness, in
illuminating ignorance? Behold how he dives, at noonday,
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? Count Cagliostro
287
into the infectious hovels of the mean; and on the equipages,
haughtinesses, and even dinner-invitations of the great, turns
anly his negatory front-of-brass! The Prince Cardinal de
Rohan, Archbishop of Strasburg, first-class peer of France,
ol the Blood-royal of Brittany, intimates a wish to see him!
he answers: "If Monseigneur the Cardinal is sick, let him
come, and I will cure him; if he is well, he has no need of me,
I none of him. " 1
Heaven meanwhile has sent him a few disciples: by a nice
tact, he knows his man; to one speaks only of Spagiric Medi-
cine, Downfall of Tyranny, and the Egyptian Lodge; to
another, of quite high matters, beyond this diurnal sphere, of
visits from the Angel of Light, visits from him of Darkness;
passing a Statue of Christ, he will pause with a wondrously
accented plaintive "Ha! " as of recognition, as of thousand-
years remembrance; and when questioned, sink into mysteri-
ous silence. Is he the Wandering Jew, then? Heaven
knows! At Strasburg, in a word, Fortune not only smiles
but laughs upon him: as crowning favour, he finds here the
richest, inflammablest, most open-handed Dupe ever yet
vouchsafed him; no other than that same many-titled Louis
de Rohan; strong in whose favour, he can laugh again at
Fortune.
Let the curious reader look at him, for an instant or two,
through the eyes of two eye-witnesses: the Abb6 Georgel,
Prince Louis's diplomatic Factotum, and Herr Meiners, the
Gottingen Professor:
>> "Admitted at length," says our too-prosing Jesuit Abbd,
"to the sanctuary of this jEsculapius, Prince Louis saw,
according to his own account, in the incommunicative man's
^physiognomy, something so dignified, so imposing, that he
felt penetrated with a religious awe, and reverence dictated
his address. Their interview, which was brief, excited more
keenly than ever his desire of farther acquaintance. He
attained it at length: and the crafty empiric graduated so
cunningly his words and procedure, that he gained, without
appearing to court it, the Cardinal's entire confidence, and
the greatest ascendency over his will. 'Your soul,' said he
,one day to the Prince, 'is worthy of mine; you deserve to
be made participator of all my secrets. ' Such an avowal
captivated the whole faculties, intellectual and moral, of a
1 Mtmoircs de I'Abbi Georgel, ii. 48.
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? 288 Carlyle's Essays
man who at all times had hunted after secrets of alchymy and
botany. From this moment their union became intimate
and public: Cagliostro went and established himself at
Saverne, while his Eminency was residing there; theii
solitary interviews were long and frequent. " . . . " I re-
member once, having learnt, by a sure way, that Baron de
Planta (his Eminency's man of affairs) had frequent, most
expensive orgies, in the Archiepiscopal Palace, where Tokaj
wine ran like water, to regale Cagliostro and his pretended
wife, I thought it my duty to inform the Cardinal: his answei
was, 'I know it; I have even authorised him to commit
abuses, if he judge fit. '" . . . " He came at last to have nc
other will than Cagliostro's: and to such a length had it gone,
that this sham Egyptian, finding it good to quit Strasburg
for a time, and retire into Switzerland, the Cardinal, apprised
thereof, despatched his Secretary as well to attend him, as
to obtain Predictions from him; such were transmitted
in cipher to the Cardinal on every point he needed to
consult of "1--
"Before ever I arrived in Strasburg" (hear now the as
prosing Protestant Professor), "I knew almost to a certainty
that I should not see Count Cagliostro; at least, not get to
speak with him. From many persons I had heard that he,
on no account, received visits from curious Travellers, in a
state of health; that such as, without being sick, appeared
in his audiences were sure to be treated by him, in the brutal-
est way, as spies. " . . . " Nevertheless, though I saw not
this new god of Physic near at hand and deliberately, but
only for a moment as he rolled on in a rapid carriage, I fancy
myself to be better acquainted with him than many that have
lived in his society for months. " "My unavoidable convic-
tion is, that Count Cagliostro, from of old, has been more of
a cheat than an enthusiast; and also that he continues a
cheat to this day.
"As to his country I have ascertained nothing. Some
make him a Spaniard, others a Jew, or an Italian, or a
Ragusan; or even an Arab, who had persuaded some Asiatic
Prince to send his son to travel in Europe, and then murdered
the youth, and taken possession of his treasures. As the
self-styled Count speaks badly all the languages you hear
from him, and has most likely spent the greater part of his
1 Georgel, ubi supra.
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? Count Cagliostro
289
life under feigned names far from home, it is probable enough
no sure trace of his origin may ever be discovered. "
"On his first appearance in Strasburg he connected him-
self with the Freemasons; but only till he felt strong enough
to stand on his own feet: he soon gained the favour of the
Praetor and the Cardinal; and through these the favour of
the Court, to such a degree that his adversaries cannot so
much as think of overthrowing him. With the Praetor and
Cardinal he is said to demean himself as with persons who
were under boundless obligation to him, to whom he was
under none: the equipage of the Cardinal he seems to use as
freely as his own. He pretends that he can recognise Atheists
or Blasphemers by the smell; that the vapour from such
throws him into epileptic fits; into which sacred disorder he,
like a true juggler, has the art of falling when he likes. In
public he no longer vaunts of rule over spirits, or other
magical arts; but I know, even as certainly, that he still
pretends to evoke spirits, and by their help and apparition
to heal diseases, as I know this other fact, that he understands
no more of the human system, or the nature of its diseases,
or the use of the commonest therapeutic methods, than any
other quack. "
"According to the crediblest accounts of persons who have
long observed him, he is a man to an inconceivable degree
choleric {heftig), heedless, inconstant; and therefore doubt-
less it was the happiest idea he ever in his whole life came
upon, this of making himself inaccessible; of raising the
most obstinate reserve as a bulwark round him; without
which precaution he must long ago have been caught at
fault.
"For his own labour he takes neither payment nor present:
when presents are made him of such a sort as cannot without
offence be refused, he forthwith returns some counter-present,
of equal or still higher value. Nay he not only takes nothing
from his patients, but frequently admits them, months long,
to his house and his table, and will not consent to the smallest
recompense. With all this disinterestedness (conspicuous
enough, as you may suppose), he lives in an expensive way,
- plays deep, loses almost constantly to ladies; so that, accord-
ing to the very lowest estimate, he must require at least
20,000 livres a-year. The darkness which Cagliostro has,
on purpose, spread over the sources of his income and outlay,
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? 290 Carlyle's Essays
contributes even more than his munificence and miraculous
cures to the notion that he is a divine extraordinary man,
who has watched Nature in her deepest operations, and among
other secrets stolen that of Gold-making from her. " . . .
"With a mixture of sorrow and indignation over our age, I
have to record that this man has found acceptance, not only
among the great, who from of old have been the easiest be-
witched by such, but also with many of the learned, and even
physicians and naturalists. "1
Halcyon days; only too good to continue! All glory runs
its course; has its culmination, and then its often precipitous
decline. Eminency Rohan, with fervid temper and small in-
struction, perhaps of dissolute, certainly of dishonest manners,
in whom the faculty of Wonder had attained such prodigious
development, was indeed the very stranded whale for jackals
to feed on: unhappily, however, no one jackal could long be
left in solitary possession of him. A sharper-toothed she-
jackal now strikes in; bites infinitely deeper; stranded whale
and he-jackal both are like to become her prey. A young
French Mantua-maker, "Countess de La Motte-Valois,
descended from Henri II. by the bastard line," without
Extract of Saturn, Egyptian Masonry, or any verbal con-
ference with Dark Angels,--has genius enough to get her
finger in the Archquack's rich Hermetic Projection, appropri-
ate the golden proceeds, and even finally break the crucible.
Prince Cardinal Louis de Rohan is off to Paris, under her
guidance, to see the long-invisible Queen, or Queen's Appari-
tion; to pick up the Rose in the Garden of Trianon, dropt
by her fair sham-royal hand; and then--descend rapidly to
the Devil, and drag Cagliostro along with him.
The intelligent reader observes, we have now arrived at
that stupendous business of the Diamond Necklace: into the
dark complexities of which we need not here do more than
glance: who knows but, next month, our Historical Chapter,
written specially on this subject, may itself see the light?
Enough, for the present, if we fancy vividly the poor whale
Cardinal, so deep in the adventure that Grand-Cophtic
"predictions transmitted in cipher " will no longer illumin-
ate him; but the Grand Cophta must leave all masonic or
other business, happily begun in Naples, Bourdeaux, Lyons,
and come personally to Paris with predictions at first hand.
1 Meiners: Briefe iiber die Schweis (as quoted in Mirabeau).
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? Count Cagliostro
291
"The new Calchas," says poor Abbe Georgel, "must have
read the entrails of his victim ill; for, on issuing from these
communications with the Angel of Light and of Darkness, he
prophesied to the Cardinal that this happy correspondence,"
with the Queen's Similitude, " would place him at the highest
point of favour; that his influence in the Government would
soon become paramount; that he would use it for the propaga-
tion of good principles, the glory of the Supreme Being, and
the happiness of Frenchmen. " The new Calchas was indeed
at fault: but how could he be otherwise? Let these high
Queen's-favours, and all terrestrial shiftings of the wind,
turn as they will, his reign, he can well see, is appointed to be
temporary; in the mean while, Tokay flows like water;
prophecies of good, not of evil, are the method to keep it
flowing. Thus if, for Circe de La Motte-Valois, the Egyptian
Masonry is but a foolish enchanted cup wherewith to turn her
fat Cardinal into a quadruped, she herself converse-wise, for
the Grand Cophta, is one who must ever fodder said quad-
ruped with Court hopes, and stall-feed him fatter and fatter,
--it is expected, for the knife of both parties. They are
mutually useful; live in peace, and Tokay festivity, though
mutually suspicious, mutually contemptuous. So stand
matters through the spring and summer months of the
year 1785.
But fancy next that--while Tokay is flowing within doors,
and abroad Egyptian Lodges are getting founded, and gold
and glory, from Paris as from other cities, supernaturally
'coming in,--the latter end of August has arrived, and with it
Commissary Chesnon, to lodge the whole unholy Brotherhood,
from Cardinal down to Sham-queen, in separate cells of the
Bastille! There, for nine long months, let them howl and wail,
in bass or in treble; and emit the falsest of false Memoires;
among which that Memoire -pour le Comle de Cagliostro, en
presence des autres Co-Accuses, with its Trebisond Acharats,
Scherifs of Mecca, and Nature's unfortunate Child, all gravely
printed with French types in the year 1786, may well bear
the palm. Fancy that Necklace or Diamonds will nowhere
unearth themselves; that the Tuileries Palace sits struck
'with astonishment and speechless chagrin; that Paris, that
all Europe, is ringing with the wonder. That Count Pront-
of-Brass Pinchbeckostom, confronted, at the judgment-bar,
with a shrill glib Circe de La Motte, has need of all his
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? 292 Carlyle's Essays
eloquence; that nevertheless the Front-of-brass prevails, and
exasperated Circe "throws a candlestick at him. " Finally,
that on the 31st of May 1786, the assembled Parliament of
Paris, "at nine in the evening, after a sitting of eighteen
hours," has solemnly pronounced judgment: and now that
Cardinal Louis is gone "to his estates;" Countess de La
Motte is shaven on the head, branded, with red-hot iron,
"V" (Voleuse) on both shoulders, and confined for life to
the Salpetriere; her Count wandering uncertain, with dia-
monds for sale, over the British Empire; that the Sieur de
Villette, for handling a queen's pen, is banished forever; the
too-queenlike Demoiselle Gay d'Oliva (with her unfathered
infant) " put out of Court; "--and Grand Cophta Cagliostro
liberated indeed, but pillaged, and ordered forthwith to take
himself away. His disciples illuminate their windows; but
what does that avail? Commissary Chesnon, Bastille-
Governor De Launay cannot recollect the least particular
of those priceless effects, those gold-rouleaus, repeating
watches of his: he must even retire to Passy that very night,
and two days afterwards, sees nothing for it but Boulogne
and England. Thus does the miserable pickle - herring
tragedy of the Diamond Necklace wind itself up, and wind
Cagliostro once more to inhospitable shores.
Arrived here, and lodged tolerably in "Sloane Street,
Knightsbridge," by the aid of a certain Mr. Swinton, whilom
broken Wine-merchant, now Apothecary, to whom he carries
introductions, he can drive a small trade in Egyptian pills,
such as one "sells in Paris at thirty-shillings the dram;"
in unctuously discoursing to Egyptian Lodges; in "giving
public audiences as at Strasburg,"--if so be any one will
bite. At all events, he can, by the aid of amanuensis-disciples,
compose and publish his Lettre au Peuple Anglais; setting
forth his unheard-of generosities, unheard-of injustices
suffered, in a world not worthy of him, at the hands of English
Lawyers, Bastille-Governors, French Counts, and others4,
his Lettre aux Francais, singing to the same tune, predicting
too, what many inspired Editors had already boded, that
"the Bastille would be destroyed," and " a King would come
who should govern by States - General. " But, alas, the
shafts of Criticism are busy with him; so many hostile eyes
look towards him; the world, in short, is getting too hot for
him. Mark, nevertheless, how the brow of brass quails not;
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? Count Cagliostro
293
nay a touch of his old poetic Humour, even in this sad crisis,
unexpectedly unfolds itself.
One De Morande, Editor of a Courrier de VEurope published
here at that period, has for some time made it his distinction
to be the foremost of Cagliostro's enemies. Cagliostro, endur-
ing much in silence, happens once, in some " public audience,"
to mention a practice he had witnessed in Arabia the Stony:
the people there, it seems, are in the habit of fattening a few
pigs annually, on provender mixed with arsenic, whereby the
whole pig-carcass by and by becomes, so to speak, arsenical;
the arsenical pigs are then let loose in the woods; eaten by
lions, leopards and other ferocious creatures; which latter
naturally all die in consequence, and so the woods are cleared
af them. This adroit practice the Sieur Morande thought a
proper subject for banter; and accordingly, in his Seven-
teenth and two following Numbers, made merry enough with
it. Whereupon Count Front-of-brass, whose patience has
limits, writes as Advertisement (still to be read in old files of
the Public Advertiser, under date September 3,1786), a French
Letter, not without causticity and aristocratic disdain;
challenging the witty Sieur to breakfast with him, for the
9th of November next, in the face of the world, on an actual
Sucking Pig, fattened by Cagliostro, but cooked, carved and
selected from by the Sieur Morande,--under bet of Five
Thousand Guineas sterling that, next morning thereafter,
he the Sieur Morande shall be dead, and Count Cagliostro be
alive I The poor Sieur durst not cry, Done; and backed-out
of the transaction, making wry faces. Thus does a kind of
red coppery splendour encircle our Archquack's decline; thus
with brow of brass, grim smiling, does he meet his destiny.
