No More Learning

272 PILPAY'S FABLES.
When the Hunter arrived, he was not a little surprised to find his net broken. This was no small vexation to him, and made him look narrowly about, to see if he could discover who had done him the injury ;" and, unfortunately, in searching, he spied the Tortoise. " O ! said he, " very well, I am very glad
I find I shall not go home empty-handed, how ever, at last : here's a plump Tortoise, and that's worth some
to see you here ;
thing, I'm sure. " With that he took the Tortoise up, put it in his sack, threw the sack over his shoulder, and so was trudging home.
When he was gone, the three friends came from their several places, and met together, when, missing the Tortoise, they easily judged what was become of her. Then sending forth a thousand sighs, they made most doleful lamentations, and shed a torrent of tears. At length the Raven, interrupting this sad harmony, " Dear friends," said he, " our moans and sorrows do the Tortoise no good ; we ought, instead of this, if it be possi ble, to think of a way to save her life. The sages of former ages have informed us that there are four sorts of persons that are never known but upon the proper occasions : men of cour age in fight ; men of honesty in business ; a wife in her hus band's misfortunes ; and a true friend in extreme necessity. We find, alas ! our dear friend the Tortoise is in a sad condi tion ; and therefore we must, if possible, succor her. "
"It is well advised," replied the Rat, "and now I think on't, an expedient is come into my head. Let the Goat go and show herself in the Hunter's eye, who will then be sure to lay down his sack to run after her. "
" Very well advised," replied the Goat, " I will pretend to be lame, and run limping at a little distance before him, which will encourage him to follow me, and so draw him a good way from his sack, which will give the Rat time to set our friend at liberty. " This stratagem had so good a face that it was soon approved by them all ; and immediately the Goat ran halting before the Hunter, and seemed to be so feeble and faint that he thought he had her safe in his clutches ; and so laying down his sack, ran after the Goat with all his might. That cunning creature suffered him ever and anon almost to come up to her, and then led him another green-goose chase, till in short she had fairly dragged him out of sight ; which the Rat perceiving, came and gnawed the string that tied the sack, and let out the Tortoise, who went and hid herself in a thick bush.
^SOP'S FABLES. 273
At length the Hunter, tired with running in vain after his prey, left off the chase, and returned to his sack. " Here," said he, " I have something safe however : thou art not quite so swift of foot as this plaguy Goat; and if thou wert, art too fast here to find the way to make thy legs of any use to thee. " So saying, he went to the bag, but there missing the Tortoise, he was in amaze, and thought himself in a region of hobgoblins and spirits. He could not but stand and bless himself, that a Goat should free herself out of his nets, and by and by run hop ping before him, and make a fool of him ; and that in the mean while a Tortoise, a poor feeble creature, should break the string of a sack, and make its escape. All these considerations struck him with such a panic fear, that he ran home as if a thousand robin goodfellows or rawhead and bloody bones had been at his heels. After which the four friends met together again, con gratulated each other on their escapes, made new protestations
of friendship, and swore never to separate till death parted them.
^SOP'S FABLES. Retold by PH3EDRUS.
[. flSsop is the imaginary author of a collection of fables, some of them dat ing back to archaic Egyptian times ; the dates, personal history, and description, etc. , set down to him are all fictitious, and some of them very late mediaeval in ventions. Phsedrus was a Macedonian slave who lived in Rome during the reigns of Augustus, Tiberius, and Caligula, and rewrote the . Aesopian fables in verse, adding some new ones, besides other stories with a moral not cast in fable
form. ]
The Wolf and the Lamb.
Driven by thirst, a Wolf and a Lamb had come to the same stream; the Wolf stood above, and the Lamb at a dis tance below. Then the spoiler, prompted by a ravenous maw, alleged a pretext for a quarrel. " Why," said he, " have you made the water muddy for me while " I am drinking ? " The Fleece bearer, trembling, answered : Prithee, Wolf, how can I do what you complain of ? The water is flowing downwards from you to where I am drinking. " The other, disconcerted by the force of truth, exclaimed, " Six months ago, you slan dered me. " "Indeed," answered the Lamb, "I was not born
274 iESOPS FABLES.
then. " " By Hercules," said the Wolf, " then 'twas your father slandered me ; " and so, snatching him up, he tore him to pieces, killing him unjustly.
The Frogs asking for a King.
The Frogs, roaming at large in their marshy fens, with loud clamor demanded of Jupiter a king, who, by his authority, might check their dissolute manners. The Father of the Gods smiled, and gave them a little Log, which, on being thrown among them, startled the timorous race by the noise and sudden commotion in the bog. When it had lain for some time im mersed in the mud, one of them by chance silently lifted his head above the water, and, having taken a peep at the king, called up all the rest. Having got the better of their fears, vying with each other, they swim towards him, and the inso lent mob leap upon the Log. After defiling it with every kind of insult, they sent to Jupiter, requesting another king, be cause the one that had been given them was useless. Upon this, he sent them a Water Snake, who with his sharp teeth began to gobble them up one after another. Helpless they strive in vain to escape death ; terror deprives them of voice. By stealth, therefore, they send through Mercury a request to Jupiter, to succor them in their distress. Then said the God in reply, "Since you would not be content with your good fortune, continue to endure your bad fortune. "
Fable for Parvenus.
A Jackdaw, swelling with empty pride, picked up some feathers which had fallen from a Peacock, and decked himself out therewith ; upon which, despising his own kind, he mingled with a beauteous flock of Peacocks. They tore his feathers from off the impudent bird, and put him to flight with their beaks. The Jackdaw, thus roughly handled, in grief hastened to return to his own kind ; repulsed by whom, he had to sub mit to sad disgrace. Then said one of those whom he had formerly despised, " If you had been content with our station, and had been ready to put up with what nature had given, you would neither have experienced the former affront, nor would your ill fortune have had to feel the additional pang of this repulse. "
. aSSOP'S FABLES. 275
Shadow and Substance.
As a Dog, crossing a bridge, was carrying a piece of meat, he saw his own shadow in the watery mirror ; and, thinking that it was another booty carried by another dog, attempted to snatch it away ; but his greediness was disappointed, he both dropped the food which he was holding in his mouth, and was after all unable to reach that at which he grasped.
The Alliance.
A Cow, a She-Goat, and a Sheep, patient under injuries, were partners in the forests with a Lion. When they had cap tured a Stag of vast bulk, thus spoke the Lion, after it had been divided into shares, "Because my name is Lion, I take the first ; the second you will yield to me because I am coura geous ; then, because I am the strongest, the third will fall to my lot; if any one touches the fourth, woe betide him. "
Never Help a Scoundrel out of a Scrape.
A bone that he had swallowed stuck in the jaws of a Wolf. Thereupon, overcome by extreme pain, he began to tempt all and sundry by great rewards to extract the cause of misery. At length, on his taking an oath, a Crane was prevailed on, and, trusting the length of her neck to his throat, she wrought, with danger to herself, a cure for the Wolf. When she de manded the promised reward for this service, " You are un grateful," replied the Wolf, " to have taken your head in safety out of my mouth, and then to ask for a reward. "
Your Turn may Come.
A Sparrow upbraided a Hare that had been pounced upon by an Eagle, and was sending forth piercing cries. " Where now," said he, " is that fleetness for which you are so remark able ? Why were your feet thus tardy ? " While he was speaking, a Hawk seizes him unawares, and kills him, shrieking aloud with vain complaints. The Hare, almost dead, as a con solation in his agony, exclaimed, "You, who so lately, free from care, were ridiculing my misfortunes, have now to deplore your own fate with as woful cause. "
276 . ESOFS FABLES.
A Bad Name is a Bad Investment.
A Wolf indicted a Fox upon a charge of theft ; the latter denied it. The Ape sat as judge between them ; and when each of them had pleaded his cause, is said to have pronounced this sentence : " You, Wolf, appear not to have lost what you ask the Fox to give back ; you, Fox, to have stolen from the Wolf what you deny taking. "
Brag only to Strangers.
A Lion having resolved to hunt in company with an Ass, concealed him in a thicket, and at the same time enjoined him to frighten the wild beasts with his voice, to which they were unused, while he himself was to catch them as they fled. Upon this, Longears, with all his might, suddenly raised a cry, and terrified the beasts with this new cause of astonishment. While in their alarm, they are flying to the well-known outlets, they are overpowered by the dread onset of the Lion ; who, after he was wearied with slaughter, called forth the Ass from his retreat, and bade him cease his clamor. On this the other in his insolence inquired, " What think you of the assistance given by my voice ? " " Excellent ! " said the Lion, " so much so that if I had not been acquainted with your spirit and your race, I should have fled in alarm like the rest. "
The Showiest Qualities not the Most Useful.
A Stag, when he had drunk at a stream, stood still, and gazed upon his likeness in the water. While there, in admira tion, he was praising his branching horns, and finding fault with the extreme thinness of his legs, suddenly roused by the cries of the huntsmen, he took to flight over the plain, and with nimble course escaped the dogs. Then a wood received the beast ; in which, being entangled and caught by his horns, the dogs began to tear him to pieces with savage bites. While dy ing, he is said to have uttered these words : " Oh, how un happy am I, who now too late find out how useful to me were the things I despised ; and what sorrow the things I used to praise have caused me. "
2ES0PS FABLES. 277
Flatterers Have Axes to Grind.
As a Raven, perched in a lofty tree, was about to eat a piece of cheese, stolen from a window, a Fox espied him, and there upon began thus to speak : " O Raven, what a glossiness there is upon those feathers of yours ! What grace you carry in
If you had a voice, no bird whatever would be superior to you. " On this, the other, attempting to show off his voice, let fall the cheese from his mouth, which
your shape and air !
the crafty Fox instantly snatched up.
All Governments alike to the Poor.
A timorous Old Man was feeding an Ass in a meadow. Frightened by a sudden alarm of the enemy, he tried to per suade the Ass to fly, lest they should be taken prisoners. But he leisurely replied : " Pray, do you suppose that the conqueror will place double panniers upon me? " The Old Man said, "No. " "Then what matters it to me, so long as I have to carry my panniers, whom I serve ? "
Avoid Straw Security.
A Stag asked a Sheep for a measure of wheat, a Wolf being his surety. The other, however, suspecting fraud, replied, "The Wolf has always been in the habit of plundering and absconding ; you, of rushing out of sight with rapid" flight :
where am I to look for you both when the day comes ? The Entering Wedge.
A She-Dog, ready to whelp, having entreated another that she might give birth to her offspring in her kennel, easily obtained the favor. Afterwards, on the other asking for her place back again, she renewed her entreaties, earnestly begging for a short time, until she might be enabled to lead forth her whelps when they had gained sufficient strength. This time being also expired, the other began more urgently to press for her abode. " If," said the tenant, "you are a match for me and my litter in a fight, I will leave. "
Kicking the Dying Lion.
As a Lion, worn out with years, and deserted by his strength, lay drawing his last breath, a Wild Boar came up
278 ^SOP'S FABLES.
to him, with flashing tusks, and with a blow revenged an old affront. Next, with hostile horns, a Bull pierced the body of his foe. An Ass, on seeing the wild beast maltreated with impunity, tore up his forehead with his heels. On this, expir
I have borne, with indignation, the insults of the brave; but in being inevitably forced to bear with you,
ing, he said : " disgrace to nature !
I seem to die a double death. "
Don't Spare One Curse for Fear of Another.
A Weasel, on being caught by a Man, wishing to escape impending death, " Pray," said she, " do spare me, for 'tis I who keep your"house clear of troublesome mice. " The Man made answer : If you did so for my sake, it would be a reason for thanking you, and I should have granted you the pardon you entreat. But as you eat up all they would, and them too, don't think of placing your pretended services to my account ; " and so saying, he put the wicked creature to death.
Suspect Sudden Conversions.
A Thief one night threw a crust of bread to a Dog,"to try whether he could be gained by the proffered victuals. Hark you," said the Dog, " do you think to stop my tongue so that I may not bark for my master's property ? You are greatly mis taken. For this sudden liberality bids me be on the watch, that you may not profit by my neglect. "
The Frog and the Ox.
Once on a time, a Frog espied an Ox in a meadow, and moved with envy at his vast bulk, puffed out her wrinkled skin, and then asked her young ones whether she was bigger than the Ox. They said, " No. " Again, with still greater efforts, she distended her skin, and in like manner inquired which was the bigger : they said, "The Ox. " At last, while, full of indig nation, she tried, with all her might, to puff herself out, she burst her body on the spot.
The Fox and the Stork.
A Fox is said to have given a Stork the first invitation to a banquet, and to have placed before her some thin broth in a flat dish, of which the hungry Stork could in no way get a taste.
iESOP'S FABLES. 279
Having invited the Fox in return, she set before him a narrow- mouthed jar, full of minced meat : and, thrusting her beak into it, satisfied herself, while she tormented her guest with hunger ; who, after having in vain licked the neck of the jar, as we have heard, thus addressed the foreign bird: "Everyone is bound to bear patiently the results of his own example. "
Revenge always Finds a Way.
An Eagle one day carried off the whelps of a Fox, and placed them in her nest before her young ones, for them to tear in pieces as food. The mother, following her, began to entreat that she would not cause such sorrow to her miserable suppli ant. The other despised her, as being safe in the very situation of the spot. The Fox snatched from an altar a burning torch, and surrounded the whole tree with flames, intending to mingle anguish to her foe with the loss of her offspring. The Eagle, that she might rescue her young ones from the peril of death, in a suppliant manner restored to the Fox her whelps in safety.
"Who shall Guard the Guardians? "
Some Pigeons, having often escaped from a Kite, and by their swiftness of wing avoided death, the spoiler had recourse to stratagem, and by a crafty device of this nature deceived the harmless race. " Why do you prefer to live a life of anx iety, rather than conclude a treaty, and make me your king, who can insure your safety from every injury ? " They, putting confidence in him, intrusted themselves to the Kite, who, on obtaining the sovereignty, began to devour them one by one, and to exercise authority with his cruel talons. Then said one of those that were left, " Deservedly are we smitten. "
The Man and the Two Women.
A Woman, not devoid of grace, held enthralled a certain Man of middle age, concealing her years by the arts of the toilet ; a lovely Young creature, too, had captivated the heart of the same person. Both, as they were desirous to appear of the same age with him, began, each in her turn, to pluck out the hair of the Man. While he imagined that he was made trim by the care of the women, he suddenly found himself
280 . SSOP'S FABLES.
bald ; for the Young Woman had entirely pulled out the white hairs, the Old Woman the black ones.
[This is a dubious piece of morality. The obvious moral would seem to be, Don't court two women at once ; but if one may take them as successive, it would be, Keep to your own sort: wide divergences mean unhappiness and injury. ]
Don't Buy Off Blackmailers.
A Man, torn by the bite of a savage Dog, threw a piece of bread, dipped in his blood, to the offender : a thing that he had heard was a remedy for the wound. Then said jEsop, " Don't do this before many dogs, lest they devour us alive, when they know that such is the reward of guilt. "
The Fly and the Mule.
" A Fly sat on the pole of a chariot, and rebuking the Mule : How slow you are," said she ; "will you not go faster? Take care that I don't prick your neck with my sting. " The Mule
I am not moved by your words, but I fear him
made answer : "
who, sitting on the next seat, guides my yoke with his pliant whip, and governs my mouth with the foam-covered reins. Therefore, cease your frivolous impertinence, for I well know when to go at a gentle pace, and when to run. "
Servile Riches versus Free Poverty.
A Wolf, quite starved with hunger, chanced to meet a well- fed Dog, and as they stopped to salute each other: " Pray," said the Wolf, " how is it that you are so sleek ? or on what food have you made so much flesh? I, who am far stronger, am perishing with hunger. " The Dog frankly replied, "You may enjoy the same condition, if you"can render the like ser vice to your master. " " What is it ? said the other. " To be the guardian of his threshold, and to protect the house from thieves at night. " " I am quite ready for that," said the Wolf ; " at present I have to endure snow and showers, dragging on a wretched existence in the woods. How much more pleasant for me to be living under a roof, and, at my ease, to be stuffed with plenty of victuals. " " Come along, then, with me," said
-5ISOPS FABLES. 281
the Dog. As they were going along, the Wolf observed the neck of the Dog, where it was worn with the chain. " Whence comes this, my friend? " "Oh, it is nothing. " "Do tell me, though. " "Because I appear to be fierce, they fasten me up in the daytime, that I may be quiet when it is light, and watch when night comes ; unchained at midnight, I wander wherever I please. Bread is brought me without my asking ; from his own table my master gives me bones ; the servants throw me bits, and whatever dainties each person leaves ; thus, without trouble on my part, is my belly filled. " " Well, if you have a mind to go anywhere, are you at liberty ? " " Certainly not," replied the Dog. " Then, Dog, enjoy what you boast of. I would not be a king, to lose my liberty. "
"Handsome is as Handsome Does. "
A certain Man had a very ugly Daughter, and also a Son, remarkable for his handsome features. These, diverting them selves as children do, chanced to look into a mirror, as it lay upon their mother's chair. He praises his own good looks ; she is vexed and cannot endure the raillery of her boasting brother, construing everything (and how could she do other wise ? ) as a reproach against herself. Accordingly, off she runs to her Father, to be avenged on him in her turn ; and with great rancor makes a charge against the Son, how that he, though a male, has been meddling with a thing that belongs to the women. Embracing them both, kissing them, and dividing his tender affection between the two, he said, "I wish you both to use the mirror every day : you, that you may not spoil your beauty by vicious conduct; you, that you may make amends by your virtues for your looks. "
The Cock and the Pearl.
A young Cock, while seeking for food on a dunghill, found a Pearl, and exclaimed : " What a fine thing are you to be lying in so unseemly a place. If any one sensible of your value had espied you here, you would long ago have returned to your former brilliancy. And it is I who have found you, I to whom
food is far preferable ! me. "
Ican be of no use to you or you to
282 -ESOPS FABLES.
Real Parenthood.
A Dog said to a Lamb bleating among some She-Goats, "Simpleton, you are mistaken; your mother is not here; " and pointed out some Sheep at a distance, in a flock by themselves.
" I am not looking for her," said the Lamb, " who, when she thinks fit, conceives, then carries her unknown burden for a certain number of months, and at last empties out the fallen bundle; but for her who, presenting her udder, nourishes me, and deprives her young ones of milk that I may not go with out. " "Still," said the Dog, "she ought to be preferred who brought you forth. " " Not at all : how was she to know whether I should be born black or white ? [i. e. for first sacri fice or not]. However, suppose she did know, seeing I was born a male, truly she conferred a great obligation on me in giving me birth, that I might expect the butcher every hour. Why should she, who had no power in engendering me, be pre ferred to her who took pity on me as I lay, and of her own accord showed me a welcome affection ? It is kindliness makes parents, not the ordinary course of Nature. "
Don't Quarrel with Fate.
A Peacock came to Juno, complaining sadly that she had not given to him the song of the Nightingale; that it was the admiration of every ear, while he himself was laughed at the very instant he raised his voice. The Goddess, to console him, replied, " But you surpass the nightingale in beauty, you sur pass him in size; the brilliancy of the emerald shines upon your neck; and you unfold a tail begemmed with painted plumage. " " Wherefore give me," he retorted, " a beauty that is dumb, if I am "surpassed in voice ? " " By the will of the Fates," said she, have your respective qualities been assigned ; beauty to you, strength to the Eagle, melody to the Nightingale, to the Raven presages, unpropitious omens to the Crow: all of these are contented with their own endowments. "
The Fox and the Grapes.
Urged by hunger, a Fox, leaping with all her might, tried to reach a cluster of Grapes upon a lofty vine. When she found she could not reach them, she left them, saying, " They
are not ripe yet ;
I don't like to eat them while sour. "
jESOFS fables. 283
Biting off the Nose to spite the Face.
While a Wild Boar was wallowing, he muddied the shallow water, at which a Horse had been in the habit of quenching his thirst. Upon this, a disagreement arose. The Horse, enraged with the beast, sought the aid of man, and, raising him on his back, returned against the foe. After the Horseman, hurling his javelins, had slain the Boar, he is said to have spoken thus : "I am glad that I gave assistance at your entreaties, for I have captured a prey, and have learned how useful you are ; " and so compelled him, unwilling as he was, to submit to the rein. Then said the Horse, sorrowing, " Fool that I am ! while seeking to revenge a trifling matter, I have met with slavery. "
Strong Spirits can Disdain Slanderers.
A Viper came into a smith's workshop ; and while on the search whether there was anything fit to eat, fastened her teeth upon a File. The latter, however, disdainfully exclaimed, " Why, fool, do you try to wound me with your teeth, who am in the habit of gnawing asunder every kind of iron ? "
Suspect a Scamp's Good Offices.
A Fox having fallen into a well, and being closed in by the sides, which were too high for her, a Goat parched with thirst came to the same spot, and asked whether the water was good and in plenty. The other, devising a stratagem, replied, " Come down, my friend : such is the goodness of the water that my pleasure in drinking cannot be satisfied. " Longbeard descended ; then the Fox, mounting on his high horns, escaped from the well, and left the Goat to stick fast in the inclosed mud.
Of the Vices of Men.
Jupiter has loaded us with a couple of Wallets : the one, filled with our own vices, he has placed at our backs; the other, heavy with those of others, he has hung before.
From this circumstance we are not able to see our own faults ; but as soon as others make a slip, we are ready to censure.
284 jESOP'S fables.
The She-Goats and their Beards.
The She-Goats having obtained of Jupiter the favor of a beard, the He-Goats, full of concern, began to be"indignant that the females rivaled them in their dignity. Suffer them," said the God, " to enjoy their empty honors, and to use the badge that belongs to your rank, so long as they are not sharers in your courage. "
The Man and the Snake.
A Man took up a Snake, stiffened with frost, and warmed her in his bosom, being compassionate to his own undoing ; for when she had recovered, she instantly killed the Man. On another one asking her the reason of this crime, she made answer, "That people may learn not to assist the wicked. "
The Mountain in Labor.
A Mountain was in labor, sending forth dreadful groans, and there was in the districts the highest expectation. After all, it brought forth a Mouse.
The Bald Man and the Fly.
A Fly bit the bare pate of a Bald Man, who, endeavoring to crush it," gave himself a heavy blow. Then said the Fly, jeeringly : You wanted to revenge the sting of a tiny insect with death ; what"will you do to yourself, who have added insult to injury ? The Man made answer : " I am easily reconciled to myself, because I know that there was no intention of doing harm. But you, worthless insect, and one of a con temptible race, who take a delight in drinking human blood, I could wish to destroy you, even at a heavier penalty. "
Avoid Ill-gotten Wealth.
A Man having sacrificed a young boar to the god Hercules, to whom he owed performance of a vow made for the preser vation of his health, ordered the remains of the barley to be set for the Ass. But he refused to touch it, and said, " I would most willingly accept your food, if he who had been fed upon it had not had his throat cut. "
FIN MoCOUL. 285
FIN McCOUL.
A Legend of Knockmany.
By WILLIAM CARLETON.
[William Carleton, a leading writer of Irish peasant stories and sketches and novels of Irish life in general, was born in County Tyrone in 1798. A poor boy, scantily educated in a hedge school, he passed two years (16-18) in a relative's academy, went to Dublin, and in 1830 and 1832 published two series of " Traits and Stories of the Irish Peasantry," which were very successful. In 1839 he produced a novel, " Fardorougha, the Miser" ; and in 1841 three vol umes of tales mostly pathetic — but one story in a more buoyant vein, "The Misfortunes of Barney Branagan," was very popular. In 1845 he issued " Val entine M'Clutchy," a " repeal " novel ; 1846, " Rody the Rover " ; 1847, "The Black"Prophet" ; 1849, "The Tithe Proctor" ; 1855, "Willy Reilly," 3 vols. ; 1860 The Evil Eye. " He long received a pension of £200 a year for his great literary merits. He died January, 1869. ]
What Irish man, woman, or child has not heard of our re nowned Hibernian Hercules, the great and glorious Fin M'Coul ? Not one, from Cape Clear to the Giant's Causeway, nor from that back again to Cape Clear. And by the way, speaking of the Giant's Causeway, brings me at once to the beginning of my story. Well, it so happened that Fin and his gigantic relatives were all working at the Causeway, in order to make a bridge, or what was still better, a good stout pad road, across to Scot land ; when Fin, who was very fond of his wife Oonagh, took it into his head that he would go home and see how the poor woman got on in his absence. To be sure, Fin was a true Irish man, and so the sorrow thing in life brought him back, only to
see that she was snug and comfortable, and, above all things, that she got her rest well at night ; for he knew that the poor woman, when he was with her, used to be subject to nightly qualms and configurations, that kept him very anxious, decent man, striving to keep her up to the good spirits and health that she had when they were first married. So, accordingly, he pulled up a fir tree; and after lopping off the roots and branches, made a walking stick of it, and set out on his way to Oonagh.
Oonagh, or rather Fin, lived at this time on the very tip top of Knockmany Hill, which faces a cousin of its own called Culla- more, that rises up, half hill, half mountain, on the opposite side — east-east by south, as the sailors say, when they wish to puz zle a landsman.
286 FIN McCOUL.
Now, the truth is, for it must come out, that honest Fin's affection for his wife, though cordial enough in itself, was by no manner of means the real cause of his journey home. There was at that time another giant, named Cucullin, — some say he was Irish, and some say he was Scotch, — but whether Scotch or Irish, sorrow doubt of it but he was a target. No other giant of the day could stand before him ; and such was his strength that, when well vexed, he could give a stamp that shook the country about him. The fame and name of him went far and near ; and nothing in the shape of a man, it was said, had any chance with him in a fight. Whether the story is true or not, I cannot say, but the report went that by one blow of his fists he flattened a thunderbolt, and kept it in his pocket in the shape of a pancake, to show to all his enemies when they were about to fight him. Undoubtedly he had given every giant in Ireland a considerable beating, barring Fin M'Coul himself ; and he swore, by the sol emn contents of Moll Kelly's Primer, that he would never rest, night or day, winter or summer, till he would serve Fin with the same sauce, if he could catch him.
Fin, however, who no doubt was the cock of the walk on his own dunghill, had a strong disinclination to meet a giant who could make a young earthquake, or flatten a thunderbolt when he was angry; so he accordingly kept dodging about from place to place, not much to his credit as a Trojan, to be sure, when ever he happened to get the hard word that Cucullin was on the scent of him. This, then, was the marrow of the whole move ment, although he put it on his anxiety to see Oonagh ; and I am not saying but there was some truth in that too. However, the short and long of it was, with reverence be it spoken, that he heard Cucullin was coming to the Causeway to have a trial of strength with him ; and he was naturally enough seized, in consequence, with a very warm and sudden fit of affection for his wife, poor woman, who was delicate in her health, and lead ing, besides, a very lonely, uncomfortable life of it (he assured them) in his absence. He accordingly pulled up the fir tree, as I said before, and having snedded it into a walking stick, set out on his affectionate travels to see his darling Oonagh on the top of Knockmany, by the way.
In truth, to state the suspicions of the country at that time, the people wondered very much why it was that Fin selected such a windy spot for his dwelling house, and they even went so far as to tell him as much.
FIN McCOUL. 287
"What can you mane, Mr. M'Coul," said they, "by pitching your tent upon the top of Knockmany, where you never are without a breeze, day or night, winter or summer, and where you're often forced to take your nightcap [the cloud that hangs about the peak of a mountain] without either going to bed or turning up your little finger ; ay, an' where, besides this, there's the sorrow's own want of water ? "
" Why," said Fin, " ever since I was the height of a round tower, I was known to be fond of having a good prospect of my own ; and where the dickens, neighbors, could I find a better spot for a good prospect than the top of Knockmany ? As for water, I am sinking a pump [there is upon the top of this hill an opening that bears a very strong resemblance to the crater of an extinct volcano], and, plase goodness, as soon as the Causeway's made, I intend to finish it. "
Now, this was more of Fin's philosophy ; for the real state of the case was, that he pitched upon the top of Knockmany in order that he might be able to see Cucullin coming towards the house, and of course that he himself might go to look after his distant transactions in other parts of the country, rather than — but no matter—we do not wish to be too hard on Fin. Allwe have to say that he wanted spot from which to keep sharp lookout, — and between ourselves, he did want griev ously, — barring Slieve Croob, or Slieve Donard, or its own cousin Cullamore, he could not find neater or more conven ient situation for in the sweet and sagacious province of Ulster.
" God save all here " said Fin, good-humoredly, on put ting" his honest face into his own door.
Musha, Fin, avick, an' you're welcome home to your own Oonagh, you darlin' bully. " Here followed smack that said to have made the waters of the lake at the bottom of the hill curl, as were, with kindness and sympathy.
" Faith," said Fin, " beautiful an' how are you, Oonagh — and how did you sport your figure during my absence, my bilberry "
" Never merrier — as bouncing grass widow as ever there was in sweet Tyrone among the bushes. ' "
Fin gave short, good-humored cough, and laughed most heartily, to show her how much he was delighted that she made herself happy in his absence.
" An' what brought you home so soon, Fin " said she.
'a a
it
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288 FIN McCOUL.
" Why, avourneen," said Fin, putting in his answer in the proper way, " never the thing but the purest of love and affec tion for yourself. Sure you know that's truth, anyhow, Oonagh. "
Fin spent two or three happy days with Oonagh, and felt him self very comfortable, considering the dread he had of Cucullin. This, however, grew upon him so much that his wife could not but perceive something lay on his mind which he kept alto gether to himself. Let a woman alone, in the mean time, for ferreting or wheedling a secret out of her good man, when she wishes. Fin was a proof of this.
" It's this Cucullin," said he, " that's troubling me. When the fellow gets angry, and begins to stamp, he'll shake you a whole townland ; and it's well known that he can stop a thunder bolt, for he always carries one about him in the shape of a pan cake, to show to any one that might misdoubt it. "
As he spoke, he clapped his thumb in his mouth, which he always did when he wanted to prophesy, or to know any thing that happened in his absence ; and the wife, who knew what he did it for, said very sweetly, "Fin, darling, I hope you don't bite your thumb at me, dear ? "
" No," said Fin ; " but I bite my thumb, acushla," said he.
" Yes, jewel ; but take care and don't draw blood," said she. "Ah, Fin ! don't, my bully — don't. "
"He's coming," said Fin; "I
" Thank goodness, dear ! an' who is avick Glory be
"
to God
" That baste, Cucullin," replied Fin " and how to manage
don't know. If run away, am disgraced and know that sooner or later must meet "him, for my thumb tells me so. "
" When will he be here said she.
" To-morrow, about two o'clock," replied Fin, with groan. " Well, my bully, don't be cast down," said Oonagh " de
pend on me, and maybe I'll bring you better out of this scrape than ever you could bring yourself, by your rule thumb. "
This quieted Fin's heart very much, for he knew that Oonagh was hand and glove with the fairies and indeed, to tell the truth, she was supposed to be fairy herself. If she was, however, she must have been kind-hearted one, for by all accounts she never did anything but good in the neighborhood.
Now so happened that Oonagh had sister named Granua, living opposite them, on the very top of Cullamore,
see him below Dungannon. "
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FIN McCOUL. 289
which I have mentioned already, and this Granua was quite as powerful as herself. The beautiful valley that lies between them is not more than about three or four miles broad, so that of a summer's evening, Granua and Oonagh were able to hold many an agreeable conversation across it, from the one hilltop to the other. Upon this occasion Oonagh resolved to consult her sister as to what was best to be done in the difficulty that sur rounded them.
" Granua," said she, " are you at home ? "
"No," said the other; "I'm picking bilberries in Altha- dhawan" (AnglicS, the Devil's Glen).
" Well," said Oonagh, " get up to the top of Cullamore, look about you, and then tell us what you see. "
" Very well," replied Granua ; after a few minutes, " I am
there now. " "
" What do you see ?
" Goodness be about us ! " exclaimed Granua, " I see the big
gest giant that ever was known coming up from Dungannon. " " Ay," said Oonagh, " there's our difficulty. That giant is the great Cucullin ; " and he's now comin' up to leather Fin.
What's to be done ?
" I'll call to him," she replied, "to come up to Cullamore and
asked the other.
refresh himself, and maybe that will give you and Fin time to think of some plan to get yourselves out of the scrape. But," she proceeded, " I'm short of butter, having in the house only half a dozen firkins, and as I'm to have a few giants and giant esses to spend the evenin' with me, I'd feel thankful, Oonagh, if you'd throw me up fifteen or sixteen tubs, or the largest miscaun you have got, and you'll oblige me very much. "
" I'll do that with a heart and a half," replied Oonagh ; " and, indeed, Granua, I feel myself under great obligations to you for your kindness in keeping him off of us till we see what can be done ; for what would become of us all if anything hap pened Fin, poor man. "
She accordingly got the largest miscaun of butter she had — which might be about the weight of a couple a dozen mill stones, so that you may easily judge of its size — and calling up to her sister, " Granua," said she, " are you ready ? I'm going to throw you up a miscaun, so be prepared to catch it. "
" I will," said the other ; " a good throw now, and take care it does not fall short. "
Oonagh threw it ; but, in consequence of her anxiety about
290 FIN McCOUL.
"
Fin and Cucullin, she forgot to say the charm that was to send it up, so that, instead of reaching Cullamore, as she expected, it fell about halfway between the two hills, at the edge of the Broad Bog near Augher. "
" My curse upon you ! she exclaimed ;
me. I now change you into a gray stone.
timony of what has happened ; and may evil betide the first living man that will ever attempt to remove or injure you ! "
And, sure enough, there it lies to this day, with the mark of the four fingers and thumb imprinted in it, exactly as it came out of her hand.
" Never mind," said Granua, " I must only do the best I can with Cucullin. If all fail, I'll give him a cast of heather broth to keep the wind out of his stomach, or a panada of oak bark to draw it in a bit ; but, above all things, think of some plan to get Fin out of the scrape he's in, otherwise he's a lost man. You know you used to be sharp and ready witted ; and my own opinion, Oonagh, is that it will go hard with you or you'll outdo Cucullin yet. "
you've disgraced Lie there as a tes
She then made a high smoke on the top of the hill, after which she put her finger in her mouth and gave three whistles, and by that Cucullin knew he was invited to Cullamore — for this was the way that the Irish long ago gave a sign to all strangers and travelers, to let them know they were welcome to come and take share of whatever was going.
In the mean time, Fin was very melancholy, and did not know what to do or how to act at all. Cucullin was an ugly customer, no doubt, to meet with ; and, moreover, the idea of the confounded " cake " aforesaid flattened the very heart within him. What chance could he have, strong and brave though he was, with a man who could, when put in a passion, walk the country into earthquakes and knock thunderbolts into pan cakes ? The thing was impossible ; and Fin knew not on what hand to turn him. Right and left —backward or forward — where to go he could form no guess whatsoever.
" Oonagh," said he, " can you do nothing for me ? Where's all your invention ? Am I to be skivered like a rabbit before your eyes, and to have my name disgraced forever in the sight of all my tribe, and me the best man among them ? How am I to fight this man mountain — this huge cross between an earth
quake and a thunderbolt ? — with a pancake in his pocket that
"
was once
FIN McCOUL.
291
" Be easy, Fin," replied Oonagh ; " troth, I'm ashamed of you. Keep your toe in your pump, will you ? Talking of pan cakes, maybe we'll give him as good as any he brings with him — thunderbolt or otherwise. If I don't treat him to as smart feeding as he's got this many a day, never trust Oonagh again. Leave him to me, and do just as I bid you. "
This relieved Fin very much ; for, after all, he had great confidence in his wife, knowing, as he did, that she had got him out of many a quandary before. The present, however, was the greatest of all ; but still he began to get courage, and was able to eat his victuals as usual. Oonagh then drew the nine woolen threads of different colors, which she always did to find out the best way of succeeding in anything of importance she went about. She then platted them into three plats with three colors in each, putting one on her right arm, one round her heart, and the third round her right ankle, for then she knew that nothing could fail with her that she undertook.
Having everything now prepared, she sent round to the neighbors and borrowed one and twenty iron griddles, which she took and kneaded into the hearts of one and twenty cakes of bread, and these she baked on the fire in the usual way, set ting them aside in the cupboard according as they were done. She then put down a large pot of new milk, which she made into curds and whey, and gave Fin due instructions how to use the curds when Cucullin should come. Having done all this, she sat down quite contented, waiting for his arrival on the next day about two o'clock, that being the hour at which he was expected — for Fin knew as much by the sucking of his thumb. Now, this was a curious property that Fin's thumb had ; but, notwithstanding all the wisdom and logic he used to suck out of could never have stood to him here were not for the wit of his wife. In this very thing, moreover, he was very much resembled by his great foe, Cucullin for was well known that the huge strength he possessed all lay in the middle finger of his right hand, and that he happened by any mis chance to lose it, he was no more, notwithstanding his bulk, than
common man.
At length, the next day, he was seen coming across the val
ley, and Oonagh knew that was time to commence operations. She immediately made the cradle, and desired Fin to lie down in it, and cover himself up with the clothes.
" You must pass for your own child," said she " so just lie
;
it it
a
it
if
;
it, it
292 FIN McCOUL.
there snug, and say nothing, but be guided by me. " This, to be sure, was wormwood to Fin, — I mean going into the cradle in such a cowardly manner, — but he knew Oonagh well ; and finding that he had nothing else for it, with a very rueful face he gathered himself into it, and lay snug, as she had desired him.
About two o'clock, as he had been expected, Cucullin came in. "God save all here ! " said he ; "is this where the great Fin M'Coul lives? "
" Indeed it is, honest man," replied Oonagh ; " God save you kindly — won't you be sitting ? "
" Thank you, ma'am," said he, sitting down ; " you're Mrs. M'Coul, I suppose ? "
"I am," said she ; "and I have no reason, I hope, to be ashamed of my husband. "
" No," said the other, " he has the name of being the strong est and bravest man in Ireland ; but for all that, there's a man not far from you that's very desirous of taking a shake with him. Is he at home ? "
"Why, then, no," she replied ; "and if ever a man left his house in a fury, he did. It appears that some one told him of a big basthoon of a giant called Cucullin being down at the Causeway to look for him, and so he set out there to try if he could catch him. Troth, I hope, for the poor giant's sake, he won't meet with him, for if he does, Fin will make paste of him at once. "
"Well," said the other, "I am Cucullin, and I have been seek ing him these twelve months, but he always kept clear of me; and I will never rest, night or day, till I lay my hands on him. "
At this Oonagh set up a loud laugh of great contempt, by the way, and looked at him as if he was only a mere handful
all at once. " "Howcould I?