No More Learning

3 This same Zoticus, furthermore, was the kind to abuse such a degree of intimacy, for under false pretences49 he sold all Elagabalus' promises and favours, and so, as far as he could, he amassed enormous wealth. To some men he held out threats, and to others promises, lying to them all, and as he came out from the emperors's presence, he would go up to each and say, "In regard to you I said this," "in regard to you I was told that," and "in regard to you this action will be taken". 4 That is the way of men of this kind, for, once admitted to too close an intimacy with a ruler, they sell information concerning his intentions, whether he be good or bad, and so, through the stupidity or the innocence of an emperor who does not detect their intrigues, batten on the shameless hawking of rumours. 50 5 With this man Elagabalus went through a nuptial ceremony and consummated a marriage, even having a bridal-matron and exclaiming, "Go to work, Cook" — and this at a time when Zoticus was ill. 6 After that he would ask philosophers and even men of the greatest dignity whether they, in they youth, had ever experienced what he was experiencing, — all without the slightest p129 shame. 7 For indeed he never refrained from filthy conversation and would make indecent signs with his fingers and would show no regard for decency even in public gatherings or in the hearing of the people.

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 11 1 He made his freedmen governors and legates, consuls and generals, and he brought disgrace on all offices of distinction by the appointment of base-born profligates. 51 2 On one occasion he invited the nobles of the court52 to a vintage-festival, and when he had seated himself by the baskets of grapes, he began to ask the most dignified of them one by one whether he were responsive to Venus, and when the old men would blush he would cry out, "He is blushing, it's all right," regarding their silence and blushes as a confession. 3 He then narrated his own doings without any cloak of shame. 4 But when he saw that the elders blushed and kept silent, because neither their age nor their dignity was in keeping with such topics, he turned to the young men and began to when them about all their experiences. 5 And when they told him what one would expect of their age, he began to be merry, declaring that a vintage celebrated in such a manner was truly bacchanalian. 6 Many relate, furthermore, that he was the first to devise the custom of having slaves make jibes at their masters' expense during a vintage-festival, even in the hearing of their masters, which jibes he had composed himself, most of them in Greek; several of these, indeed, are quoted by Marius Maximus in his Life of Elagabalus. 7 His courtiers, moreover, were men of p131 depraved life, some of them old men looking like philosophers, who would do up their hair in nets, declare that they were living a life of depravity, and boast that they had husbands. Some say, however, that they only made a pretence of this in order that by counterfeiting the Emperor's vices they might stand higher in his favour.

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 12 1 As prefect of the guard he appointed a dancer53 who had been on the stage at Rome, as prefect of the watch a chariot-driver named Cordius,54 and as prefect of the grain-supply a barber named Claudius,55 2 and to the other posts of distinction he advanced men whose sole recommendation was the enormous size of their privates. As collector of the five-percent tax on inheritances56 he appointed a mule-driver, a courier, a cook, and a locksmith. 3 When he went to the Camp or the Senate-house he took with him his grandmother, Varia by name, whom I have previously mentioned,57 in order that through her prestige he might get greater respect — for by himself he got none. And never before his time, as I have already said, did a woman come into the Senate-chamber or receive an invitation to take part in the drafting of a decree and express her opinion in the debate. 4 At his banquets he preferred to have perverts placed next to him and took special delight in touching or fondling them, and whenever he drank one of them was usually selected to hand him the cup.

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 13 1 Among the base actions of his life of depravity he gave orders that Alexander, whom he had p133 formally adopted, he removed from his presence,58 saying that he regretted the adoption. 2 Then he commanded the senate to take away from Alexander the name of Caesar. But when this was announced to the senate, there was a profound silence. For Alexander was an excellent youth, as was afterwards shown by the character of his rule, even though, because he was chaste, he was displeasing to his adoptive father — 3 he was also, as some declare, his cousin. Besides, he was loved by the soldiers and acceptable to the senate and the equestrian order. 59 4 Yet the Emperor's madness went the length of an attempt to carry out the basest design; for he despatched assassins to kill Alexander, and that in the following way: 5 Leaving his mother, grandmother, and cousin in the Palace, he himself withdrew to the Gardens of Spes Vetus60 on the ground that he was forming designs against some new youth, and there he issued an order to slay Alexander, a most excellent young man and one of whom the state had need. 6 He also sent a written order to the soldiers bidding them take away from Alexander the name of Caesar, 7 and he despatched men to smear mud on the inscriptions on his statues in the Camp,61 as is usually done to a tyrant. 8 He sent, furthermore, to Alexander's guardians, ordering them, if they hoped for rewards and distinctions, to kill him in any way they wished, either in his bath, or by poison, or with the sword. Legamen ad paginam Latinam 14 1 But evil men can accomplish nothing against the upright. For no power could induce any to commit so great a crime, p135 and the weapons which he was making ready for others were turned against himself, and it was by the same violent means that he was directing at others that he himself was put to death.

2 But immediately after the inscriptions on Alexander's statues were smeared with mud, all the soldiers were fired with anger, and they set out, some for the Palace and some for the gardens where Varius was, with the purpose of protecting Alexander and finally ridding the state of this filthy creature full of murderous intent. 3 And when they had come to the Palace they set a guard about Alexander and his mother and grandmother and then escorted them with the greatest care to the Camp; 4 Symiamira, Elagabalus' mother, followed them on foot, filled with anxiety about her son. 5 Then the soldiers went to the gardens, where they found Varius making preparations for a chariot-race and at the same time eagerly awaiting the news of his cousin's murder. 6 Alarmed by the sudden clatter of the soldiers, he crouched down in a corner and covered himself with the curtain which was at the door of the bed-chamber, 7 sending one of the prefects to the Camp to quiet the soldiers there and the other to placate those who had just entered the gardens. 8 Then Antiochianus,62 one of the prefects, reminded the soldiers who had come to the gardens of their oath of allegiance and finally persuaded them not to kill the Emperor — for, in fact, only a few had come and the majority had remained with the standard, which the tribune Aristomachus had kept back. So much for what happened in the gardens. Legamen ad paginam Latinam 15 1 In the Camp, on the other hand, the soldiers replied to the entreaties of the prefect that they would spare Elagabalus' life on the condition p137 that he would send away all his filthy creatures, his chariot-drivers, and his actors, and return to a decent mode of living, dismissing particularly those who, to the general sorrow, possessed the greatest influence over him and sold all his decisions, actual or pretended. 2 He did, finally, dismiss Hierocles, Cordius,63 and Mirissimus64 and two other base favourites who were making him even more of a fool than he was naturally. 3 The soldiers, furthermore, charged the prefects not to permit him to continue longer his present mode of living, and also to keep watch over Alexander that no violence might be done him, and at the same time to prevent the Caesar from seeing any of the friends of the Augustus, lest he imitate their baseness. 4 But Elagabalus with earnest entreaties kept demanding back Hierocles, that most shameless of men, and daily increased his plotting against Alexander. 5 Finally, on the Kalends of January, he refused to appear in public with his cousin65 — for they had been designated joint consuls. 6 At last, however, when he was told by his grandmother and mother that the soldiers were threatening that they would kill him unless they saw that harmony was established between himself and his cousin, he put on the bordered toga and at the sixth hour of the day entered the senate, inviting his grandmother to the session and escorting her to a seat. 7 But then he refused to proceed to the Capitolium to assume the vows for the state and conduct the usual ceremonies, and accordingly everything was done by the city-praetor, just as if there were no consuls there.

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 16 1 Nevertheless he did not give up the murder of his cousin, but first, for fear that if he killed him the senate would only turn to some one else, he gave p139 orders that the senate should at once leave the city. Even all those senators who had no carriages or slaves were ordered to set out at once, some of them being carried by porters, others using animals that chance threw in their way or that they hired for money. 2 And because Sabinus,66 a man of consular rank, to whom Ulpian67 dedicated some of his books, remained in the city, the Emperor called a centurion and ordered him to kill him, speaking in a low tone. 3 But the centurion, who was rather deaf, thought that he was being ordered to eject Sabinus from the city and acted accordingly; and so a centurion's infirmity saved Sabinus' life. 4 He dismissed both Ulpian the jurist because he was a righteous man and Silvinus the rhetorician, whom he had appointed tutor to Alexander. Silvinus, in fact, was put to death, but Ulpian was spared.

5 The soldiers, however, and particularly the members of the guard, either because they knew what evils were in store for Elagabalus, or because they foresaw his hatred for themselves, formed a conspiracy to set the state free. First they attacked the accomplices in his plan of murdering Alexander, killing some by tearing out the vital organs and others by piercing the anus, so that their deaths were as evil as their lives. Legamen ad paginam Latinam 17 1 Next they fell upon Elagabalus himself and slew him in a latrine in which he had taken refuge. Then his body was dragged through the streets, and the soldiers further insulted it by thrusting it into a sewer. 2 But since the sewer chanced to be too small to admit the corpse, they attached a weight to it to keep it from floating, and hurled it p141 from the Aemilian Bridge68 into the Tiber, in order that it might never be buried. 3 The body was also dragged around the Circus before it was thrown into the Tiber.

4 His name, that is to say the name Antoninus, was erased from the public records by order of the senate69 — though the name Varius Elagabalus was left70 —, for he had used the name Antoninus without valid claim, wishing to be thought the son of Antoninus. 5 After his death he was dubbed the Tiberine,71 the Dragged, the Filthy, and many other such names, all of which were to signify what seemed to have been done during his rule. 6 And he was the only one of all the emperors whose body was dragged through the streets, thrust into a sewer, and hurled into the Tiber. 7 This befell him as a result of the general hatred of all, against which particularly emperors must be on their guard, since those who do not win the love of the senate, the people, and the soldiers do not win the right of burial.

8 No public works of his are in existence, save the temple of the god Elagabalus (called by some the Sun, by others Jupiter), the Amphitheatre72 as restored after its destruction by fire, and the public bath in the Vicus Sulpicius,73 begun by Antoninus, the son of Severus. 9 This bath, in fact, had been dedicated by Antoninus Caracalla, who bathed in it himself and opened it to the public, but the portico was left unbuilt, and this was added after his death by this spurious Antoninus, though actually completed by Alexander. 74

p143 Legamen ad paginam Latinam 18 1 He was the last of the Antonines (though many think that later the Gordians had the cognomen Antoninus, whereas they were really called Antonius and not Antoninus),75 a man so detestable for his life, his character, and his utter depravity that the senate expunged from the records even his name. 2 I myself should not have referred to him as Antoninus save for the sake of identification, which frequently makes it necessary to use even those names which officially have been abolished.

With him was also slain his mother Symiamira,76 a most depraved woman and one worthy of such a son. 3 And the first measure enacted after the death of Antoninus Elagabalus provided that no woman should ever enter the senate,77 and that whoever should cause a woman to enter, his life should be declared doomed and forfeited to the kingdom of the dead.

The Life of Elagabalus
Part 2

(For the beginning of chapter 18, see Part 1. )

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] (18) 4 Concerning his life many filthy anecdotes have been put into writing, but since they are not worthy of being recorded, I have thought I ought to relate only such deeds as illustrate his extravagance. 78 Some of these, it is said, were done before he ascended the throne, others after he was made emperor; for he himself declared that his models were Apicius79 among commoners and, among emperors, Otho and Vitellius. [Legamen ad paginam Latinam]19 For example, he was the first commoner to cover his couches with golden coverlets — for this was lawful then by authorization of Marcus Antoninus, who had sold at public auction all the imperial trappings. 80 2 Also, he gave summer-banquets in various colours, one day a green banquet, another day an iridescent one, and next in order a blue one, varying them continually every day of the summer. 3 Moreover, he was the first to use silver urns and casseroles, p145 and vessels of chased silver, •one hundred pounds in weight, some of them spoiled by the lewdest designs. 4 He was also the first to concoct wine seasoned with mastich and with pennyroyal and all such mixtures, which our present luxury retains. a 5 And rose-wine, of which he had learned from others, he used to make more fragrant by adding pulverized pine-cone. In fact, all these kinds of cups are not met with in books before the time of Elagabalus. 6 Indeed, for him life was nothing except a search after pleasures. He was the first to make force-meat of fish, or of oysters of various kinds or similar shell-fish, or of lobsters, crayfish and squills. 7 He used to strew roses and all manner of flowers, such as lilies, violets, hyacinths, and narcissus, over his banqueting-rooms, his couches and his porticoes, and then stroll about in them. 8 He would refuse to swim in a pool that was not perfumed with saffron or some other well-known essence. 9 And he could not rest easily on cushions that were not stuffed with rabbit-fur or feathers from under the wings of partridges, and he used, moreover, to change the pillows frequently.

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 20 1 He often showed contempt for the senate, calling them slaves in togas, while he treated the Roman people as the tiller of a single farm and the equestrian order as nothing at all. 2 He frequently invited the city-prefect to a drinking-bout after a banquet and also summoned the prefects of the guard, sending a master of ceremonies, in case they declined, to compel them to come. 3 And he wished to create a city-prefect for each region of Rome, thus making fourteen for the city;81 and he p147 would have done it, too, had he lived, for he was always ready to promote men of the basest character and the lowest calling. b

4 He had couches made of solid silver for use in his banqueting-rooms and his bed-chambers. 5 In imitation of Apicius he frequently ate camels-heels and also cocks-combs taken from the living birds, and the tongues of peacocks and nightingales, because he was told that one who ate them was immune from the plague. 6 He served to the palace-attendants, moreover, huge platters heaped up with the viscera of mullets, and flamingo-brains, partridge-eggs, thrush-brains, and the heads of parrots, pheasants, and peacocks. 7 And the beards of the mullets that he ordered to be served were so large that they were brought on, in place of cress or parsley or pickled beans or fenugreek, in well filled bowls and disk-shaped platters — a particularly amazing performance.

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 21 1 He fed his dogs on goose-livers. c Among his pets he had lions and leopards, which had been rendered harmless and trained by tamers, and these he would suddenly order during the dessert and the after-dessert to get up on the couches, thereby causing an amusing panic, for none knew that the beastsº were harmless. 82 2 He sent grapes from Apamea83 to his stables for his horses, and he fed parrots and pheasants to his lions and other wild animals. 3 For ten successive days, moreover, he served wild sows' udders with the matrices, at the rate of thirty a day, serving, besides, peas with gold-pieces, lentils with onyx, beans with amber, and rice with pearls; 4 and he also sprinkled pearls on fish and truffles in lieu of pepper. 5 In a banqueting-room with a reversible ceiling he once overwhelmed his parasites with violets p149 and other flowers,84 so that some were actually smothered to death, being unable to crawl out to the top. d 6 He flavoured his swimming-pools and bath-tubs with essence of spices or of roses or wormwood. And once he invited the common mob to a drinking-bout, and himself drank with the populace, taking so much that on seeing what he alone consumed, people supposed he had been drinking from one of his swimming-pools. 7 As banquet-favours, he gave eunuchs, or four-horse chariots, or horses with saddles, or mules, or litters, or carriages, or a thousand aurei or a hundred pounds of silver. [Legamen ad paginam Latinam]22 At his banquets he would also distribute chances inscribed on spoons, the chance of one person reading "ten camels," of another "ten flies," of another "ten pounds of gold," of another "ten pounds of lead," of another "ten ostriches," of another "ten hens-eggs," so that they were chances indeed and men tried their luck. 2 These he also gave at his games, distributing chances for ten bears or ten dormice, ten lettuces or ten pounds of gold. Indeed he was the first to introduce this practice of giving chances, which we still maintain. e 3 And the performers too he invited to what really were chances, giving as prizes a dead dog or a pound of beef, or else a hundred aurei, or a hundred pieces of silver, or a hundred coppers,85 and so on. 4 All this so pleased the populace that after each occasion they rejoiced that he was emperor.

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 23 1 He gave a naval spectacle, it is said, on the p151 Circus-canals,86 which had been filled with wine, and he sprinkled the people's cloaks with perfume made from the wild grape; also he drove a chariot drawn by four elephants on the Vatican Hill,87 destroying the tombs which obstructed the way, and he harnessed four camels to a chariot at a private spectacle in the Circus. 2 It is also said that he collected serpents with the aid of priests of the Marsic nation88 and suddenly let them loose before dawn, when the populace usually assembled for the more frequented games, and many people were injured by their fangs as well as in the general panic. 3 He would wear a tunic made wholly of cloth of gold, or one made of purple, or a Persian one studded with jewels, and at such times he would say that he felt oppressed by the weight of his pleasures. 4 He even wore jewels on his shoes, sometimes engraved ones — a practice which aroused the derision of all, as if, forsooth, the engraving of famous artists could be seen on jewels attached to his feet. 5 He wished to wear also a jewelled diadem in order that his beauty might be increased and his face look more like a woman's; and in his own house he did wear one. 6 He promised a phoenix to some guests, it is said, or in lieu of the bird a thousand pounds of gold, and this sum he handed out in the imperial residence. f 7 He constructed swimming-pools filled with sea-water in places especially far from the coast, and would hand them over to individual friends who swam in them, or at p153 another time he would fill one with fish. 8 One summer he made a mountain of snow in the pleasure-garden attached to his house, having snow carried there for the purpose. When on the sea-coast he never ate fish, but in places most remote from the sea he regularly served all manner of sea-food, and the country-folk in the interior he fed with the milt of lampreys and pikes.

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 24 1 The fish that he ate were cooked in a bluish sauce that preserved their natural colour, as though they were still in the sea-water. He supplied swimming-pools that he used for the moment with essence of roses and with the flowers themselves, and when he bathed with all his courtiers he would furnish oil of nard for the hot-rooms; he also furnished balsam-oil for the lamps. 2 He never had intercourse with the same woman twice except with his wife, and he opened brothels in his house for his friends, his clients, and his slaves. 3 He never spent less on a banquet than one hundred thousand sesterces, that is, thirty pounds of silver;89 and sometimes he even spent as much as three million when all the cost was computed. In fact, he even outdid the banquets of Vitellius and Apicius. 90 4 He would take fish from his ponds by the ox-load, and then, as he passed through the market, bewail the public poverty. 5 He used to bind his parasites to a water-wheel and, by a turn of the wheel, plunge them into the water and then bring them back to the surface again, calling p155 them meanwhile river-Ixions. 6 He used Lacedaemonian stone91 and porphyry to pave the open spaces in the Palace, which he called Antonine; this pavement lasted down to within our own memory but was lately torn up and destroyed. 7 And he planned to erect a single column of enormous size, which could be ascended inside, and to place on its summit the god Elagabalus, but he could not find enough stone, even though he planned to bring it from the district of Thebes. 92

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 25 1 When his friends became drunk he would often shut them up, and suddenly during the night let in his lions and leopards and bears — all of them harmless — so that his friends on awakening at dawn, or worse, during the night, would find lions and leopards and bears in the room with themselves;93 and some even died from this cause. 2 Some of his humbler friends he would seat on air-pillows instead of on cushions and let out the air while they were dining, so that often the diners were suddenly found under the table. 3 Finally, he was the first to think of placing a semi-circular group on the ground instead of on couches, with the purpose of having the air-pillows loosened by slaves who stood at the feet of the guests and the air thus let out.

4 When adultery was represented on the stage, he would order what was usually done in pretence to be carried out in fact. 5 He often purchased harlots from all the procurers and then set them free. 6 Once during a private conversation the question arose as to how many ruptured people there were in the city of Rome, and he thereupon issued an order that all p157 should be noted and brought to his baths, and then he bathed with them, some of them being men of distinction. 7 Before a banquet he would frequently watch gladiatorial fights and boxing matches, and he had a couch spread for himself in an upper gallery and during luncheon exhibited criminals in a wild-beast hunt. 94 9 º His parasites would often be served during dessert with food made of wax or wood or ivory, sometimes of earthenware, or at times even of marble or stone; so that all that he ate himself would be served to them too, but different in substance and only to be looked at,95 and all the while they would merely drink with each course and wash their hands, just as if they had really eaten.

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 26 1 He was the first of the Romans, it is said, who wore clothing wholly of silk,96 although garments partly of silk97 were in use before his time. Linen that had been washed he would never touch, saying that washed linen was worn only by beggars. 2 He would often appear in public after dinner dressed in a Dalmatian tunic,98 and then he would call himself Fabius Gurges99 or Scipio, because he was wearing the same kind of clothing which Fabius and Cornelius wore when in their youth they were brought out in public by their parents in order to improve their manners.

3 He gathered together in a public building all the harlots from the Circus, the theatre, the Stadium and p159 all other places of amusement, and from the public baths, and then delivered a speech to them, as one might to soldiers, calling them "comrades" and discoursing upon various kinds of postures and debaucheries. 4 Afterward he invited to a similar gathering procurers, catamites collected together from all sides, and lascivious boys and young men. 5 And whereas he had appeared before the harlots in a woman's costume and with protruding bosom, he met the catamites in the garb of a boy who is exposed for prostitution. After his speech he announced a largess of three aurei each, just as if they were soldiers, and asked them to pray the gods that they might find others to recommend to him.

6 He used, too, to play jokes on his slaves, even ordering them to bring him a thousand pounds of spiders-webs and offering them a prize; and he collected, it is said, ten thousand pounds, and then remarked that one could realize from that how great a city was Rome. g 7 He also used to send to his parasites jars of frogs, scorpions, snakes, and any other such reptiles, as their yearly allowance of provisions, 8 and he would shut up a vast number of flies in jars of this sort and call them tamed bees.

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 27 1 He often brought four-horse chariots from the circus into his banqueting-rooms or porticoes while he lunched or dined, compelling his guests to drive, even though they were old men and some of them had held public office. 2 Even when emperor, he would give an order to bring in to him ten thousand mice, a thousand weasels, or a thousand shrew-mice. 3 So skilful were his confectioners and dairymen, that all the various kinds of food that were served by his cooks, either meat-cooks or fruit-cooks, p161 they would also serve up, making them now out of confectionery or again out of milk products. 4 His parasites he would serve with dinners made of glass, and at times he would send to their table only embroidered napkins with pictures of the viands that were set before himself, as many in number as the courses which he was to have, so that they were served only with representations made by the needle or the loom. 5 Sometimes, however, paintings too were displayed to them, so that they were served with the whole dinner, as it were, but were all the while tormented by hunger. 6 He would also mix jewels with apples and flowers, and he would throw out of the window quite as much food as he served to his friends. 7 He gave an order, too, that an amount of public grain equal to one year's tribute should be given to all the harlots, procurers, and catamites who were within the walls, and promised an equal amount to those without, for, thanks to the foresight of Severus and Trajan, there was in Rome at that time a store of grain equal to seven years' tribute. 100

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 28 1 He would harness four huge dogs to a chariot and drive about within the royal residence, and he did the same thing, before he was made emperor, on his country-estates. 2 He even appeared in public driving four stags of vast size. Once he harnessed lions to his chariot and called himself the Great Mother, and on another occasion, tigers, and called himself Dionysus; and he always appeared in the particular garb in which the deity that he was representing was usually depicted. 3 He kept at Rome tiny Egyptian snakes, called by the natives "good genii,"101 besides hippopotami, a crocodile, and a rhinoceros, and, in fact, everything Egyptian which was of such a kind that it could be supplied. 4 And p163 sometimes at his banquets he served ostriches, saying that the Jews had been commanded to eat them. h

5 It seems indeed a surprising thing that he is said to have done when he invited men of the highest rank to a luncheon and covered a semi-circular couch with saffron-flowers, and then said that he was providing them with the kind of hay102 that their rank demanded. 6 The occupations of the day he performed at night, and those of the night in the daytime, and he considered it a mark of luxury to wait until a late hour before rising from sleep and beginning to hold his levee, and also to remain awake until morning. He received his courtiers every day, and he seldom let any go without a gift, save those whom he found to be thrifty, for he regarded these as worthless.

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 29 1 His chariots were made of jewels and gold, for he scorned those that were merely of silver or ivory or bronze. 103 2 He would harness women of the greatest beauty to a wheel-barrow in fours, in twos, or in threes or even more, and would drive them about, usually naked himself, as were also the women who were pulling him.

3 He had the custom, moreover, of asking to dinner eight bald men, or else eight one-eyed men, or eight men who suffered from gout, or eight deaf men, or eight men of dark complexion, or eight tall men, or, again, eight fat men, his purpose being, in the case of these last, since they could not be accommodated on one couch, to call forth general laughter. 4 He would present to his guests all the silver-plate that he had in the banqueting-room and all the supply of goblets, and he did it very often too. 5 He was the first Roman emperor to serve at a public banquet fish-pickle104 mixed with water, for previously this had p165 been only a soldier's dish — a usage which later was promptly restored by Alexander. 6 He would propose to his guests, furthermore, by way of a feat, that they should invent new sauces for giving flavour to the food, and he would offer a very large prize for the man whose invention should please him, even presenting him with a silk garment — then regarded as a rarity and a mark of honour. 7 On the other hand, if the sauce did not please him, the inventor was ordered to continue eating it until he invented a better one. 8 Of course he always sat among flowers or perfumes of great value, 9 and he loved to hear the prices of the food served at his table exaggerated, asserting it was an appetizer for the banquet.

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 30 1 He got himself up as a confectioner, a perfumer, a cook, a shop-keeper, or a procurer, and he even practised all these occupations in his own house continually. 2 At one dinner where there were many tables he brought in the heads of six hundred ostriches in order that the brains might be eaten. 3 Occasionally he gave a banquet in which he would serve twenty-two courses of extraordinary viands, and between each course he and his guests would bathe and dally with women, all taking an oath that they were deriving enjoyment. 4 And once he gave a banquet in which one course was served in the house of each guest, and although one lived on the Capitoline Hill, one on the Palatine, one beyond the Rampart,105 one on the Caelian Hill, and one across the Tiber, nevertheless each course was served in order in one of the houses, and they went about to the homes of all. 5 It was difficult, therefore, to finish the banquet within a whole day, especially as between the courses they bathed and dallied with women. p167 6 He always served a course of Sybariticum, consisting of oil and fish-pickle, which the men of Sybaris invented in the year in which they all perished. 106 7 It is further related of him that he constructed baths in many places, bathed in them once, and immediately demolished them, merely in order that he might not derive any advantage from them. And he is said to have done the same with houses, imperial headquarters, and summer-dwellings. 8 However, these and some other things which surpass credence, I believe to have been fabricated by those who wished to vilify Elagabalus in order to curry favour with Alexander.

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 31 1 He purchased, it is said, a very famous and very beautiful harlot for one hundred thousand sesterces, and then kept her untouched, as though she were a virgin. 2 When some one asked him before he was made emperor, "Are you not afraid of becoming poor? " he replied, so they say, "What could be better than that I should be my own heir and my wife's too? " 3 He had abundant means besides, bequeathed to him by many out of regard for his father. Furthermore, he said that he did not wish to have sons, lest one of them should chance to be thrifty. 4 He would have perfumes from India burned without any coals in order that the fumes might fill his apartments. Even while a commoner he never made a journey with fewer than sixty wagons, though his grandmother Varia107 used to protest that he would squander all his substance; 5 but after he became emperor he would take with him, it is said, as many as six hundred, asserting that the king of the Persians travelled with ten thousand camels and Nero with five hundred carriages. 108 6 The reason for all these vehicles was the vast number of his procurers and p169 bawds, harlots, catamites and lusty partners in depravity. i 7 In the public baths he always bathed with the women, and he even treated them himself with a depilatory ointment, which he applied also to his own beard, and shameful though it be to say it, in the same place where the women were treated and at the same hour. He shaved his minions' groins, using the razor with his own handj — with which he would then shave his beard. 8 He would strew gold and silver dust about a portico and then lament that he could not strew the dust of amber also; and he did this often when he proceeded on foot to his horse or his carriage, as they do today with golden sand. 109

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 32 1 He never put on the same shoes twice and never, it is said, wore the same ring a second time. He often tore up costly garments. Once he took a whale and weighed it and then sent his friends its weight in fish. 2 He sank some heavily laden ships in the harbour and then said that this was a sign of greatness of soul. He used vessels of gold for relieving himself and his urinals were made of murra or onyx. 3 And he is said to have remarked: "If I ever have an heir, I shall appoint a guardian for him, to make him do what I have myself done and intend to do". 4 He was accustomed, furthermore, to have dinners served to him of the following kind: one day he would eat nothing at all but pheasant,110 serving only pheasant-meat at every course; another day he would serve only chicken, another some kind of fish and again a different kind, again pork, or ostrich, or greens, or fruit, or sweets, or dairy-products. 5 He would often shut up his friends in halting-places for the night with old hags from Ethiopiak and compel them to stay p171 there until morning, saying that the most beautiful women were kept in these places. 6 He did this same thing with boys too — for then, before the time of Philip111 that is, such a thing was lawful. 7 Sometimes he laughed so loud in the theatre that no one else could be heard by the audience. 8 He could sing and dance, play the pipes, the horn and the pandura,112 and have also performed on the organ. 9 On one single day, it is said, he visited every prostitute from the Circus, the theatre, the Amphitheatre, and all the public places of Rome, covering his head with a muleteer's cap in order to escape recognition; he did not, however, gratify his passions, but merely gave an aureus to each prostitute, saying as he did so: "Let no one know it, but this is a present from Antoninus". [Legamen ad paginam Latinam]33 He invented certain new kinds of vice, even going beyond the perverts used by the debauchees of old, and he was well acquainted with all the arrangements of Tiberius, Caligula, and Nero. 113

2 The prophecy had been made to him by some Syrian priests that he would die a violent death. 3 And so he had prepared cords entwined with purple and scarlet silk, in order that, if need arose, he could put an end to his life by the noose. 4 He had gold swords, too, in readiness, with which to stab himself, should any violence impend. 5 He also had poisons ready, in ceraunites and sapphires and emeralds, with which to kill himself if destruction threatened. 6 And he also built a very high tower from which to throw himself down, constructed of boards gilded and jewelled in his own presence, for even his death, he declared, should be costly and marked by luxury, in order that it might be said that no one had ever died in this fashion. 7 But all these preparations availed him p173 nothing, for, as we have said,114 he was slain by common soldiers, dragged through the streets, contemptuously thrust into sewers, and finally cast into the Tiber.

8 He was the last of those in public life to bear the name Antoninus, and all knew that in the case of this Antoninus his life was as false as his name.

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 34 1 It may perhaps seem strange to some, revered Constantine, that such a scourge as I have described should ever have sat on the throne of the emperors, and, moreover, for nearly three years. Such was the lack at that time in the state of any who could remove him from the government of Rome's majesty, whereas a deliverer from the tyrant had not been wanting in the case of Nero, Vitellius, Caligula,115 and other such emperors. 2 But first of all I ask for pardon for having set down in writing what I have found in various authors, even though I have passed over in silence many vile details and those things which may not even be spoken of without the greatest shame. 3 But whatever I have told, I have covered up as best I could by the use of veiled terms.
4 Then too I have always believed that we must remember what Your Clemency is wont to say: "It is Fortune that makes a man emperor". There have indeed been unrighteous rulers and even very base ones. 5 But, as Your Piety is wont to declare, men must look to it that those be worthy of the imperial office whom the power of Fate has called to the destiny of being emperor. 6 Furthermore, since this man was the last of the Antonines and never again did one of this name appear in public life as emperor, the following fact must also be mentioned, in order that no confusion may arise when I shall begin to tell of the two Gordians, father and son, who desired to be called p175 after the family of the Antonines: in the first place, they had not the surname but only the praenomen of the Antonines; 7 in the second, as I find in my books, their name was Antonius, and not Antoninus. 116

[Legamen ad paginam Latinam] 35 1 So much concerning Elagabalus, the details of whose life you have wished me, though unwilling and reluctant, to gather together from Greek and Latin books and to set down in writing and present to you, inasmuch as I have already presented the lives of earlier emperors. 2 Now I shall begin to write of emperors who followed after. Of these the most righteous and the most worthy of careful narration was Alexander (who was emperor for thirteen years, whereas the others ruled but for six months or at most for one or two years), the most distinguished was Aurelian, but the glory of them all was Claudius, the founder of your family. 117 3 About this man I fear to tell the truth in writing to Your Clemency, lest I may seem to the malicious to be a flatterer; but yet I shall be delivered from the envy of evil men, inasmuch as I have seen that in the eyes of others also he was the most illustrious. 4 To these rulers must be joined Diocletian, father of the golden age, and Maximian, father of the iron,118 as they commonly say, and all the others down to the time of Your Piety. But as for you, 5 O revered Augustus, you shall receive honour in the many and more eloquent pages of those to whom a more kindly nature has granted this boon. 6 To these emperors we must add Licinius and Maxentius, all whose power has been made subject to your sway,119 writing of them, however, in such a way p177 that full justice shall be done to their prowess. 7 For I will not, as is the wont of many writers, detract from the greatness of those who have been vanquished, since I perceive that if, in writing of them, I shall tell the whole truth concerning the noble qualities which they possessed, it will but enhance your glory.

The Life of Severus Alexander
Part 1

1 1 [Legamen ad paginam Latinam] After the murder of Varius Elagabalus — for thus we prefer to call him rather than Antoninus, for, plague that he was, he showed none of the traits of the Antonines, 2 and his name Antoninus, furthermore, was expunged from the public records by order of the senate1 — for the curing of the human race the imperial power passed to Aurelius Alexander. 2 He was born in the city of Arca3 and he was the son of Varius,4 the grandson of Varia,5 and the cousin of Elagabalus himself. The name of Caesar had been bestowed on him by the senate previously, that is, after the death of Macrinus;6 3 now he was given the name of Augustus, and it was further granted him by the senate that on the same day he should take the title of Father of his Country, the proconsular command, the tribunician power,7 and the privilege of making five proposals to the House. 8

4 Now lest this quick succession of honours may seem precipitate,9 I will set forth the reasons which p181 moved the senate to grant and the Emperor to accept them. 5 For it befitted neither the senate's dignity to bestow all of them together, nor yet a good prince to seize upon so many honours at one time. 6 But the soldiers had now grown accustomed to appoint their own emperors, often in a disorderly fashion, and also to change them at will, sometimes alleging in their own defence that they had taken action only because they did not know that the senate had named a ruler. 7 For they had chosen as emperors Pescennius Niger, Clodius Albinus, Avidius Cassius, and, in earlier years, Lucius Vindex and Lucius Antonius;10 and they had chosen even Severus too, after the senate had already named Julianus as prince. 11 And thus were sown the seeds of civil wars, in which it necessarily happened that soldiers enlisted to fight against a foreign foe fell at the hands of their brothers. 2Legamen ad paginam Latinam For this reason, then, the senate hastened to bestow all these honours on Alexander at the same time, as though he had long been emperor. 2 To this, moreover, must be added the great desire of the senate and people for Alexander,12 now that they had been delivered from that scourge who had not only sullied the name of the Antonines but brought shame upon the Roman Empire. 3 Indeed, they vied with one another in bestowing on him all manner of titles and powers. 4 He, then, was the first of all the emperors to receive at one time all insignia and all forms of honour, commended to them, as he was, by the name of Caesar, earned some years previously, but commended still more by his life and morals. He had won great favour, too, from the fact that Elagabalus had tried to slay him, but without success because of the resistance of the soldiers p183 and the opposition of the senate. 13 5 All these considerations, however, would have availed him little, had he not shown himself worthy that the senate should honour him, that the soldiers should be eager for his preservation, and the voice of all good citizens name him their prince.

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 3 1 Alexander, then, the son of Mamaea (for so he is called by many),14 had been nurtured from his earliest boyhood in all excellent arts, civil and military. Not a single day, indeed, did he allow to pass in which he did not train himself for literature and for military service. 2 His teachers were:15 during his early childhood, Valerius Cordus, Titus Veturius, and Aurelius Philippus (his father's freedman who afterwards wrote his life); 3 while he lived in his native town, the Greek grammarian, Neho, the rhetorician Serapio, and the philosopher Stilio; and when he was at Rome, the grammarian Scaurinus (the son of Scaurinus16 and a most famous teacher), and the rhetoricians Julius Frontinus, Baebius Macrianus, and Julius Granianus, whose exercises in rhetoric are in use today. In Latin literature, however, he was not very proficient, as is shown by the orations which he delivered in the senate, and also by the speeches which he made before the soldiers or the people. 4 And indeed he did not greatly value the power to speak in Latin, although he was very fond of men of letters, fearing them at the same time, lest they might write something harsh about him. 5 Indeed, it was his wish that those whom he found worthy of the privilege should be informed of all p185 that he did, both officially and in his private life, and he even gave them information himself if they chanced to be absent at the time, begging them that if it were true, they should include it in their books.

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 4 1 He forbade men to call him Lord,17 and he gave orders that people should write to him as they would to a commoner, retaining only the title Imperator. 2 He removed from the imperial footwear and garments all the jewels that had been used by Elagabalus,18 and he wore a plain white robe without any gold, just as he is always depicted, and ordinary cloaks and togas. 3 He associated with his friends19 on such familiar terms that he would sit with them as equals, attend their banquets, have some of them as his own daily guests, even when they were not formally summoned, and hold a morning levee like any senator with open curtains and without the presence of ushers, or, at least, with none but those who acted as attendants at the doors, whereas previously it was not possible for people to pay their respects to the emperor for the reason that he could not see them.

4 As to his physique, in addition to the grace and the manly beauty still to be seen in his portraits and statues, he had the strength and height of a soldier and the vigour of the military man who knows the power of his body and always maintains it. 5 Besides this, he endeared himself to all men; some even called him Pius, but all regarded him as a holy man and one of great value to the state. 6 And when Elagabalus was plotting against him, he received in p187 the temple owing to the Praenestine Goddess20 the following oracle:

"If ever thou breakest the Fates' cruel power,
Thou a Marcellus shalt be. "21
5 1 Legamen ad paginam Latinam He was given the name Alexander because he was born in a temple dedicated to Alexander the Great22 in the city of Arca, whither his father and mother had chanced to go on the feast-day of Alexander for the purpose of attending the sacred festival. 2 The proof of this is the fact that this Alexander, the son of Mamaea, celebrated as his birthday that very day on which Alexander the Great departed this life. 23 3 The name Antoninus was proffered him by the senate, but he refused it, although he was connected with Caracalla by a closer degree of kinship than the spurious Antoninus. 24 4 For, as Marius Maximus narrates in his Life of Severus, Severus, at that time only a commoner and a man of no great position, married a noble-woman from the East, whose horoscope, he learned, declared that she should be the wife of an emperor;25 and she was a kinswoman of Alexander, to whom Varius Elagabalus, as a matter of fact, was a cousin on his mother's side. 5 He refused also the title of "the Great," which, because he was an Alexander, was offered to him by vote of the senate.

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 6 1 It will not be without interest to re‑read the p189 oration in which Alexander refused the names of Antoninus and "the Great," which were offered him by the senate. But before I quote it, I will insert the acclamations of the senate,26 by which these names were decreed. 2 Extract from the City Gazette;27 On the day before the Nones of March,28 when the senate met in full session in the Senate-Chamber (that is, in the Temple of Concord,29 a formally consecrated sanctuary), and when Aurelius Alexander Caesar Augustus had been requested to proceed thither and, after at first refusing for the reason that he knew that action was to be taken with regard to his titles, had finally appeared before the senate, 3 the following acclamations were uttered: "Augustus, free from all guilt, may the gods keep you! Alexander, our Emperor, may the gods keep you! The gods have given you to us, may the gods preserve you! The gods have rescued you from the hands of the foul man, may the gods preserve you forever! 4 You too have endured the foul tyrant, you too had reason to grieve that the filthy and foul one lived. The gods have cast him forth root and branch, and you have they saved. The infamous emperor has been duly condemned. 5 Happy are we in your rule, happy to is the state. The infamous emperor has been dragged with the hook,30 as an example of what men should fear; justly punished is the voluptuous emperor, punished justly he who defiled the public honours. May the gods in Heaven grant long life to Alexander! Thus are the judgments of the gods revealed. " Legamen ad paginam Latinam 7 1 And when Alexander had expressed his thanks the acclamations arose again: "Antoninus Alexander, may p191 the gods keep you! Aurelius Antoninus, may the gods keep you! Antoninus Pius, may the gods keep you! 2 Receive the name Antoninus, we beseech you. Grant to our righteous emperors this boon, that you should be called Antoninus. Purify the name of the Antonines. Purify what he has defiled. Restore to its former glory the name of the Antonines. Let the blood of the Antonines know itself once more. 3 Avenge the wrongs of Marcus. Avenge the wrongs of Verus. Avenge the wrongs of Bassianus. 4 Worse than Commodus is Elagabalus alone. No emperor he, nor Antoninus, nor citizen, nor senator, nor man of noble blood, nor Roman. 5 In you is our salvation, in you our life. That we may have joy in living, long life to Alexander of the house of the Antonines! The temples of the Antonines let an Antoninus consecrate. The Parthians and the Persians let an Antoninus vanquish. 6 The sacred name let the consecrated receive. The sacred name let the pure receive. May the gods remember the name of Antoninus, may the gods preserve the honours of the Antonines! In you are all things, through you are all things. Hail, O Antoninus! "

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 8 1 After these acclamations Aurelius Alexander Caesar Augustus spoke: "I thank you, O Conscript Fathers, and not now for the first time, both for the name of Caesar and for the life that has been spared to me, and also because you have bestowed on me the name of Augustus, the office of Pontifex Maximus, the tribunician power, and the proconsular command, all of which you have conferred on me without precedent on a single day. " 2 And when he p193 had spoken, they cried out: "These honours you have accepted, now accept also the name Antoninus. 3 Let the senate be deemed worthy of this boon, let the Antonines be deemed worthy. Antoninus Augustus, may the gods keep you, may the gods preserve you as Antoninus! Let the name of Antoninus appear again on our coins. Let an Antoninus consecrate the temples of the Antonines. "

4 Then Aurelius Alexander Augustus spoke again: "Do not, I beseech you, O Conscript Fathers, do not force upon me the necessity of so difficult a task, that I should be constrained to do justice to so great a name, when even this very name which I now bear, albeit a foreign one, seems to weigh heavily upon me. 5 For all illustrious names are burdensome indeed. Who, pray, would give the name of Cicero to one who was dumb, or Varro31 to one who was unlearned, or Metellus32 to one who was undutiful? And who would endure — though this may the gods forfend! — that the man who failed to live up to the tradition of his name should continue to dwell amid the most illustrious forms of honour? " Legamen ad paginam Latinam 9 1 Again the same acclamations as above. Again the Emperor spoke: "How great was the name, or rather the divinity, of the Antonines, Your Clemency remembers well. If you think of righteousness, who more honest than Verus? If of bravery, who more brave than Bassianus? 2 For on Commodus I have no wish to dwell, who was the more depraved for this very reason, that with those evil ways of his he still held the name of Antoninus. 3 Diadumenianus, moreover, had neither the time nor the years, and it was only through his father's p195 artifice that he seized upon this name. "33 4 Again the same acclamations as above. Again the Emperor spoke: "Surely, not long ago, O Conscript Fathers, when that filthiest of all creatures, both two-footed and four-footed, vaunted the name of Antoninus, and in baseness and debauchery outdid a Nero, a Vitellius, and a Commodus, you remember what groanings arose from all, and how in the gatherings of the populace and of all honourable men there was but a single cry — that he was unworthy to bear the name of Antoninus, and that by such a plague as he that great name was profaned. " 5 When he had spoken, there were again acclamations: "May the gods avert such evils! We fear them not with you as our emperor. We are safe from them with you as our leader. You have triumphed over vice, you have triumphed over crime, you have triumphed over dishonour. 6 You will add lustre to the name of Antoninus. We foresee it surely, we foresee it clearly. From your childhood on we have esteemed you, now too we esteem you. " 7 Again the Emperor; "It is not that I shrink, O Conscript Fathers, from accepting this revered name merely because I fear that my life may fall into vices which will cause me to feel shame for the name; but I do not desire to take a name which, in the first place, belongs to a house that is no kin to me, and, in the second, I fell assured, will weigh heavily upon me. " Legamen ad paginam Latinam 10 1 And when he had spoken, there were acclamations as before. Again he spoke: 2 "If indeed I take the name of Antoninus, I may take also the name of Trajan, the name of Titus, and the name of Vespasian. " 3 And when he had spoken, there were acclamations: "As you are now Augustus, so also be Antoninus. " Again the p197 Emperor: "I see, O Conscript Fathers, what impels you to bestow upon us this name also. 4 The first Augustus was the first founder of this Empire, and to his name we all succeed, either by some form of adoption or by hereditary claim. Even the Antonines themselves bore the name of Augustus. 5 Likewise the first Antoninus gave his name to Marcus and also to Verus by a process of adoption, while in the case of Commodus it was inherited, in Diadumenianus assumed, in Bassianus simulated, but in Aurelius it would be a mockery. " 6 And when he had spoken, there were acclamations: "Alexander Augustus, may the gods keep you! May the gods in Heaven look with favour upon your modesty, your wisdom, your integrity, your purity! Hence we can see what an emperor you will be, and hence we esteem you. 7 You will be a proof that the senate can choose its rulers with wisdom. You will be a proof that the choice of the senate is the best of all. Alexander Augustus, may the gods keep you! Let Alexander Augustus consecrate the temples of the Antonines. Our 8 Caesar, our Augustus, our emperor, may the gods keep you! May you be victorious, may you prosper, and may you rule for many years! " Legamen ad paginam Latinam 11 1 Alexander the Emperor spoke: I perceive, O Conscript Fathers, that I have obtained my desire, and I count it as gain, feeling and expressing the deepest gratitude. And I will endeavour to make the name which I bring to this office so famous that it will be coveted by future emperors and be bestowed upon the righteous in testimony of your loyalty. " 2 Thereupon there were acclamations: "O Great Alexander, may the gods keep you! If you have rejected the surname Antoninus, accept then the praenomen of p199 'the Great. '34 O Great Alexander, may the gods keep you! " 3 And when they had cried this out many times, Alexander Augustus spoke: "It would be easier, O Conscript Fathers, to take the name of the Antonines, for in so doing I should make some concession either to kinship or to a joint possession in that imperial name. 4 But why should I accept the name of 'the Great'? What great thing have I done? Alexander, indeed, received it after great achievements, and Pompey after great triumphs. 5 Be silent then, O revered Fathers, and do you in your greatness hold me as one of yourselves rather than force upon me the use of the name of 'the Great. ' " Legamen ad paginam Latinam 12 1 Thereupon they cried out "Aurelius Alexander Augustus, may the gods keep you! " and all the rest in the usual manner.

2 When the senate had adjourned after the transaction of much other business on that same day, the Emperor returned home in the manner of one celebrating a triumph. 3 For he seemed much more illustrious for refusing to receive names which did not belong to him than if he had received them, and he obtained from this refusal a reputation for steadfastness and mature dignity, since, though but one single man, or rather youth, he could not be moved by the persuasions of the entire senate. 4 Nevertheless, although the entreaties of the senate could not persuade him to take the name of either Antoninus or "the Great," the troops conferred on him the name Severus35 on account of his great strength of spirit and his marvellous and matchless fortitude in the face of the soldiers' insolence. 5 This won him p201 profound respect in his own time, and great renown among later generations, especially since it came to pass further that he was given this name on account of his courageous spirit; for he is the only one of whom it is known that he dismissed mutinous legions, as I shall tell at the proper place,36 and, moreover, inflicted the harshest punishments on soldiers who chanced to commit any deed which could seem unlawful, as we shall also relate in its own place. 37

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 13 1 The omens that predicted his rule were as follows: First, he was born on the anniversary of that day on which, it is said, Alexander the Great departed this life; secondly, his mother bore him in a temple dedicated to Alexander; and thirdly, he was called by Alexander's name. Furthermore, a dove's egg of purple hue,38 laid the very day he was born, was presented to his mother by an old woman; and from this the soothsayers prophesied that he would indeed be emperor, but not for long, and that he would speedily succeed to the imperial power. 2 Furthermore, a picture of the Emperor Trajan, which hung over his father's marriage-bed, fell down upon the bed at the time that Alexander was born in the temple. 3 We must add, moreover, that a woman named Olympias acted as his nurse — this was also the name of the mother of Alexander the Great — 4 and it happened by chance that he was reared by a certain peasant named Philip — which was the name of Alexander's father. 39 5 It is said that on the day p203 after his birth a star of the first magnitude was visible for the entire day at Arca Caesarea,40 and also that in the neighbourhood of his father's house the sun was encircled with a gleaming ring. 6 And the soothsayers, when they commended his birthday to the favour of the gods, declared that he would some day hold the supreme power, because some sacrificial victims were brought in from a farm of the Emperor Severus, which the tenants had made ready in order to do honour to the Emperor. 7 Also, a laurel sprang up in his house close to a peach-tree, and within a single year it outgrew the peach, and from this the soothsayers predicted that he was destined to conquer the Persians. 41 Legamen ad paginam Latinam 14 1 The night before he was born his mother dreamed that she brought forth a purple snake, 2 and on the same night his father saw himself in a dream carried to the sky on the wings of the Victory of Rome which is in the Senate-Chamber. 3 And when Alexander himself consulted a prophet about his future, being still a small child, he received, it is said, the following verses, 4 and first of all, by the oracle

"Thee doth empire await on earth and in Heaven"
it was understood that he was even to have a place among the deified emperors; then came

"Thee doth empire await which rules an empire"
by which it was understood that he should become ruler of the Roman Empire; for where, save at Rome, is there an imperial power that rules an empire? This same story, too, is related with regard to some Greek verses. 5 Moreover, when at his mother's bidding he turned his attention from philosophy and music to p205 other pursuits, he seemed to be alluded to in the following verses from the Vergil-oracle:42

"Others, indeed, shall fashion more gracefully life-breathing bronzes,
Well I believe it, and call from the marble faces more lifelike,
Others more skilfully plead in the court-room and measure out closely
Pathways through Heaven above and tell of the stars in their risings;
Thou, O Roman, remember to rule all the nations with power.
These arts ever be thine: The precepts of peace to inculcate,
Those that are proud to cast down from their seats, to the humbled show mercy. "
6 There were many other portents, too, which made it clear that he was to be the ruler of all mankind.

His eyes were very brilliant and hard to look at for a long time. He was very often able to read thoughts and he had an exceptional memory for facts — though Acholius43 used to maintain that he was aided by a mnemonic device. 7 After he succeeded to the imperial power, while still a boy, he used to do everything in conjunction with his mother, so that she seemed to have an equal share in the rule,44 a woman greatly revered, but covetous and greedy for gold and silver. 45

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 15 1 When he began to play the part of emperor, his first acts to remove from their official posts and p207 duties and from all connexion with the government all those judges whom that filthy creature had raised from the lowest class. Next, he purified the senate and the equestrian order; 2 then he purified the tribes46 and the lists of those whose positions depended on the privileges accorded to soldiers,47 and the Palace, too, and all his own suite, dismissing from service at the court all the depraved and those of ill-repute. And he permitted none save those who were needed to remain in the retinue of the Palace. 3 Then he bound himself by an oath that he would not retain any supernumeraries, that is, any holders of sinecures, his purpose being to relieve the state of the burden of their rations; for he characterized as a public evil an emperor who fed on the vitals of the provincials any men neither necessary nor useful to the commonwealth. 4 He issued orders that judges guilty of theft should never appear in any city, and that if they did, they should be banished by the ruler of the province. 5 He gave careful attention to the rationing of the troops, and he inflicted capital punishment on tribunes who gave any privileges to soldiers in return for tithes of their rations. 48 6 He issued instructions that the chiefs of the bureaux and those jurists who were most learned and most loyal to himself,49 of whom the foremost at that time was Ulpian,50 should examine and arrange in order all state-business and all law-suits, and then submit them to himself.

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 16 1 The respective rights of the people and the privy-purse he provided for in innumerable just laws, p209 and he never formally issued an imperial order save in conjunction with twenty of the most learned jurists and at least fifty men of wisdom who were also skilled in speaking, his purpose being to have in his council as many votes as were requisite to pass a decree of the senate. 51 2 The opinion of a man would be asked and whatever he said written down, but before anyone spoke, he was granted time for inquiry and reflection, in order that he might not be compelled to speak without due thought on matters of great importance. 3 It was his custom, furthermore, when dealing with matters of law or public business, to summon only those who were learned and skilled in speaking,52 but when matters of war were discussed, to summon former soldiers and old men who had served with honour and had knowledge of strategic positions, warfare, and camps; and he would also send for all the men of letters, particularly those versed in history, and ask them what action in cases like those under discussion had been taken by previous emperors, either of the Romans or of foreign nations.

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 17 1 Encolpius,53 with whom Alexander was on most intimate terms, used to say that the Emperor, whenever he saw a thieving judge, had a finger ready to tear out the man's eye; such was his hatred for those whom he found guilty of theft. 2 It is told, furthermore, by Septimius, who has given a good account of Alexander's life, that so great was his indignation at judges, who, although not actually found p211 guilty, yet laboured under the reputation of being dishonest, that, even if he merely chanced to see them, he would vent all the bile of his anger in great perturbation of spirit and with his whole countenance aflame, so that he became unable to speak. 3 Indeed, when a certain Septimius Arabianus, who had been notorious because of accusations of theft, but had been acquitted under Elagabalus, came with the senators to pay his respects to the Emperor, Alexander exclaimed: 4 "O Marna,54 O Jupiter, O ye gods in Heaven, not only is Arabianus alive, but he comes into the senate, and perhaps he is even hoping for some favour from me; does he consider me so foolish and so stupid? "

In greeting him at his levees it was customary to address him by his name only, that is, "Hail, Alexander". 55 Legamen ad paginam Latinam 18 1 And if any man bowed his head or said aught that was over-polite as a flatterer, he was either ejected, in case the degree of his station permitted it, or else, if his rank could not be subjected to graver affront, he was ridiculed with loud laughter. 2 At his levees he granted an audience to all senators, but even so he admitted to his presence none but the honest and those of good report; and — according to the custom said to be observed in the Eleusinian mysteries, where none may enter save those who know themselves to be guiltless — he gave orders that the herald should proclaim that no one who knew himself to be a thief should come to pay his respects to the emperor, lest he might in some way be discovered and receive capital punishment. 3 Also, he forbade any one to worship him, whereas Elagabalus had begun to receive adoration in the manner of the king of the Persians. 4 Furthermore, p213 he was the originator of the saying that only thieves complain of poverty — their purpose being to conceal the wickedness of their lives. 5 He used also to quote a well known proverb about thieves, using a Greek version which is rendered into Latin thus: "Whoso steals much but gives a little to his judges, he shall go free. " The Greek, however, is as follows:

"Who much has thieved, through payment small shall be absolved. "
19 1 Legamen ad paginam Latinam He always chose his prefects of the guard subject to the authorization of the senate56 and the senate actually appointed the prefect of the city. Once he even appointed as second prefect of the guard57 a man who had tried to avoid the appointment, saying that it was the reluctant and not the seekers of office who should be given positions in the state. 2 He never appointed anyone to the senate without consulting all the senators present; for it was his policy that a senator should be chosen only in accordance with the opinions of all, that men of the highest rank should give their testimony, and that, if either those who gave testimony or those who subsequently expressed their opinion had spoken falsely, they should be degraded to the lowest class of citizens, the sentence being carried out without any prospect of mercy, just as if they had been found guilty of fraud. 3 Moreover, he never appointed senators except on the vote of the men of highest rank in the Palace, asserting that he who created a senator should himself be a great man. 4 And he would never enrol freedmen in the equestrian order, for he always maintained that this order was the nursery for senators.

p215 20 1 Legamen ad paginam Latinam So considerate was he that he would never have anyone ordered to stand aside, always showed himself courteous and gracious to all, visited the sick, not merely his friends of the first and second degrees,58 but also those of lower rank, desired that every man should speak his thoughts freely and heard him when he spoke, and, when he had heard, ordered improvement and reform as the case demanded; 2 but if anything was not done well, he would reprove it in person, though without any arrogance or bitterness of spirit. He would grant an audience to any except those whom persistent rumours charged with dishonesty, and he would always make inquiries concerning the absent. 3 Finally, when his mother Mamaea and his wife Memmia,59 the daughter of Sulpicius, a man of consular rank, and the grand-daughter of Catulus, would often upbraid him for excessive informality, saying, "You have made your rule too gentle and the authority of the empire less respected," he would reply, "Yes, but I have made it more secure and more lasting. " 4 In short, he never allowed a day to pass without doing some kind, some generous, or some righteous deed, and yet he never ruined the public treasury.

Legamen ad paginam Latinam 21 1 He gave orders that few sentences should be pronounced, but those that were pronounced he would not reverse. He assigned public revenues to p217 individual communities for the advancement of their own special handicrafts. 2 And he loaned out public money on interest at four-per‑cent,60 but to many of the poor he even advanced money without interest for the purchase of lands, the loans to be repaid from their profits.

3 His prefects of the guard he would promote to the rank of senator61 in order that they might belong to the class of The Illustrious62 and be so addressed. 4 Previous to his time such promotions had been made rarely, or, if made at all, had been of short duration; indeed — as Marius Maximus says in many of his biographies — whenever an emperor wished to appoint a successor to the prefect of the guard,63 he merely had a freedman take him a tunic with the broad stripe. 5 Alexander, however, in wishing the prefects to be senators had this end in view, namely, that no one might pass judgment on a Roman senator who was not a senator himself. 64

6 He knew all about his soldiers, wherever he might be; even in his bed-chamber he had records containing the numbers of the troops and the length of each man's service, and when he was alone he constantly went over their budgets, their numbers, their several ranks, and their pay, in order that he might be thoroughly conversant with every detail. 7 Finally, whenever there was anything to be done in the presence of the soldiers, he could even call many of them by name. 8 He would also make notes about those whom he was to promote and read through each memorandum, actually making a note at the same time both of the date and the name of the man on whose recommendation the promotion was made.

9 He greatly improved the provisioning of the p219 populace of Rome, for, whereas Elagabalus had wasted the grain-supply, Alexander, by purchasing grain at his own expense, restored it to its former status. 65 Legamen ad paginam Latinam 22 1 In order to bring merchants to Rome of their own accord he bestowed the greatest privileges on them,66 2 and he established anew the largess of oil which Severus had given to the populace67 and Elagabalus had reduced when he conferred the prefecture of the grain-supply on the basest. 68 3 The right of bringing suit,69 which that same filthy wretch had abrogated, he restored to all. 4 He erected in Rome very many great engineering-works. 70 He respected the privileges of the Jews and allowed the Christians to exist unmolested. 71 5 He paid great deference to the Pontifices, to the Board of Fifteen,72 and to the Augurs, even permitting certain cases involving sacred matters, though already decided by himself, to be reopened and presented in a different aspect. 6 Whenever he discovered that the praises accorded to a returning provincial governor were genuine and not the result of intrigue, he would always ask the man to ride in his own carriage with him when on a journey and also help him by means of presents, saying that rogues should be driven from public office and impoverished, but that the upright should be retained and enriched. 7 Once, when the populace of Rome petitioned him for a reduction of prices, he had a herald ask them what kinds of food they considered too dear, and when they cried out p221 immediately "beef and pork" 8 he refused to proclaim a general reduction but gave orders that no one should slaughter a sow or a suckling-pig, a cow or a calf. As a result, in two years or, in fact, in little more than one year, there was such an abundance of pork and beef, that whereas a pound had previously cost eight minutuli,73 the price of both these meats was reduced to two and even one per pound.