No More Learning

Change, please. I can't see very well--will you count it into
my hand? "

"If they all took their passages like that instead of talking about
their trunks, life would be worth something," said the clerk to his
neighbour, who was trying to explain to a harassed mother of many that
condensed milk is just as good for babes at sea as daily dairy. Being
nineteen and unmarried, he spoke with conviction.

"We are now," quoth Dick, as they returned to the studio, patting the
place where his money-belt covered ticket and money, "beyond the reach
of man, or devil, or woman--which is much more important. I've had three
little affairs to carry through before Thursday, but I needn't ask you
to help, Bess. Come here on Thursday morning at nine. We'll breakfast,
and you shall take me down to Galleons Station. "

"What are you going to do? "

"Going away, of course. What should I stay for? "

"But you can't look after yourself? "

"I can do anything. I didn't realise it before, but I can. I've done a
great deal already. Resolution shall be treated to one kiss if Bessie
doesn't object. " Strangely enough, Bessie objected and Dick laughed.
"I suppose you're right. Well, come at nine the day after tomorrow and
you'll get your money. "

"Shall I sure? "

"I don't bilk, and you won't know whether I do or not unless you come.
Oh, but it's long and long to wait! Good-bye, Bessie,--send Beeton here
as you go out. "

The housekeeper came.

"What are all the fittings of my rooms worth? " said Dick, imperiously.

"'Tisn't for me to say, sir. Some things is very pretty and some is wore
out dreadful. "

"I'm insured for two hundred and seventy. "

"Insurance policies is no criterion, though I don't say----"

"Oh, damn your longwindedness! You've made your pickings out of me and
the other tenants. Why, you talked of retiring and buying a public-house
the other day. Give a straight answer to a straight question. "

"Fifty," said Mr. Beeton, without a moment's hesitation.

"Double it; or I'll break up half my sticks and burn the rest. "

He felt his way to a bookstand that supported a pile of sketch-books,
and wrenched out one of the mahogany pillars.

"That's sinful, sir," said the housekeeper, alarmed.

"It's my own. One hundred or----"

"One hundred it is. It'll cost me three and six to get that there
pilaster mended. "

"I thought so. What an out and out swindler you must have been to spring
that price at once! "

"I hope I've done nothing to dissatisfy any of the tenants, least of all
you, sir. "

"Never mind that. Get me the money tomorrow, and see that all my clothes
are packed in the little brown bullock-trunk. I'm going. "

"But the quarter's notice? "

"I'll pay forfeit. Look after the packing and leave me alone. "

Mr. Beeton discussed this new departure with his wife, who decided that
Bessie was at the bottom of it all. Her husband took a more charitable
view.

"It's very sudden--but then he was always sudden in his ways. Listen to
him now! "

There was a sound of chanting from Dick's room.

"We'll never come back any more, boys, We'll never come back no more;
We'll go to the deuce on any excuse, And never come back no more! Oh say
we're afloat or ashore, boys, Oh say we're afloat or ashore; But we'll
never come back any more, boys, We'll never come back no more! "

"Mr. Beeton! Mr. Beeton! Where the deuce is my pistol? "

"Quick, he's going to shoot himself 'avin' gone mad! " said Mrs. Beeton.

Mr. Beeton addressed Dick soothingly, but it was some time before the
latter, threshing up and down his bedroom, could realise the intention
of the promises to 'find everything tomorrow, sir. '

"Oh, you copper-nosed old fool--you impotent Academician! " he shouted
at last. "Do you suppose I want to shoot myself? Take the pistol in your
silly shaking hand then. If you touch it, it will go off, because it's
loaded. It's among my campaign-kit somewhere--in the parcel at the
bottom of the trunk. "

Long ago Dick had carefully possessed himself of a forty-pound weight
field-equipment constructed by the knowledge of his own experience. It
was this put-away treasure that he was trying to find and rehandle. Mr.
Beeton whipped the revolver out of its place on the top of the package,
and Dick drove his hand among the khaki coat and breeches, the blue
cloth leg-bands, and the heavy flannel shirts doubled over a pair of
swan-neck spurs. Under these and the water-bottle lay a sketch-book and
a pigskin case of stationery.

"These we don't want; you can have them, Mr. Beeton. Everything else
I'll keep. Pack 'em on the top right-hand side of my trunk. When you've
done that come into the studio with your wife. I want you both. Wait a
minute; get me a pen and a sheet of notepaper. "

It is not an easy thing to write when you cannot see, and Dick had
particular reasons for wishing that his work should be clear. So he
began, following his right hand with his left: "The badness of this
writing is because I am blind and cannot see my pen. " H'mph! --even a
lawyer can't mistake that. It must be signed, I suppose, but it
needn't be witnessed. Now an inch lower--why did I never learn to use
a type-writer? --"This is the last will and testament of me, Richard
Heldar. I am in sound bodily and mental health, and there is no previous
will to revoke. "--That's all right. Damn the pen! Whereabouts on the
paper was I? --" "I leave everything that I possess in the world, including
four thousand pounds, and two thousand seven hundred and twenty eight
pounds held for me--oh, I can't get this straight. " He tore off half
the sheet and began again with the caution about the handwriting.
Then: "I leave all the money I possess in the world to"--here followed
Maisie's name, and the names of the two banks that held the money.

"It mayn't be quite regular, but no one has a shadow of a right to
dispute it, and I've given Maisie's address. Come in, Mr. Beeton.
This is my signature; I want you and your wife to witness it. Thanks.
Tomorrow you must take me to the landlord and I'll pay forfeit for
leaving without notice, and I'll lodge this paper with him in case
anything happens while I'm away. Now we're going to light up the studio
stove. Stay with me, and give me my papers as I want 'em. "

No one knows until he has tried how fine a blaze a year's accumulation
of bills, letters, and dockets can make. Dick stuffed into the stove
every document in the studio--saving only three unopened letters;
destroyed sketch-books, rough note-books, new and half-finished canvases
alike.

"What a lot of rubbish a tenant gets about him if he stays long enough
in one place, to be sure," said Mr. Beeton, at last.

"He does. Is there anything more left? " Dick felt round the walls.

"Not a thing, and the stove's nigh red-hot. "

"Excellent, and you've lost about a thousand pounds' worth of sketches.
Ho! ho! Quite a thousand pounds' worth, if I can remember what I used to
be. "

"Yes, sir," politely. Mr. Beeton was quite sure that Dick had gone mad,
otherwise he would have never parted with his excellent furniture for a
song. The canvas things took up storage room and were much better out of
the way.

There remained only to leave the little will in safe hands: that could
not be accomplished til tomorrow. Dick groped about the floor picking
up the last pieces of paper, assured himself again and again that there
remained no written word or sign of his past life in drawer or desk,
and sat down before the stove till the fire died out and the contracting
iron cracked in the silence of the night.



CHAPTER XV

With a heart of furious fancies,
Whereof I am commander;
With a burning spear and a horse of air,
To the wilderness I wander.

With a knight of ghosts and shadows
I summoned am to tourney--
Ten leagues beyond the wide world's end,
Methinks it is no journey.
--Tom o' Bedlam's Song

"Goodbye, Bess; I promised you fifty. Here's a hundred--all that I got
for my furniture from Beeton. That will keep you in pretty frocks for
some time. You've been a good little girl, all things considered, but
you've given me and Torpenhow a fair amount of trouble. "

"Give Mr. Torpenhow my love if you see him, won't you? "

"Of course I will, dear. Now take me up the gang-plank and into the
cabin. Once aboard the lugger and the maid is--and I am free, I mean. "

"Who'll look after you on this ship? "

"The head-steward, if there's any use in money. The doctor when we come
to Port Said, if I know anything of P. and O. doctors. After that, the
Lord will provide, as He used to do. "

Bess found Dick his cabin in the wild turmoil of a ship full of
leavetakers and weeping relatives. Then he kissed her, and laid himself
down in his bunk until the decks should be clear. He who had taken so
long to move about his own darkened rooms well understood the geography
of a ship, and the necessity of seeing to his own comforts was as wine
to him.

Before the screw began to thrash the ship along the Docks he had been
introduced to the head-steward, had royally tipped him, secured a good
place at table, opened out his baggage, and settled himself down with
joy in the cabin. It was scarcely necessary to feel his way as he moved
about, for he knew everything so well. Then God was very kind: a deep
sleep of weariness came upon him just as he would have thought of
Maisie, and he slept till the steamer had cleared the mouth of the
Thames and was lifting to the pulse of the Channel.

The rattle of the engines, the reek of oil and paint, and a very
familiar sound in the next cabin roused him to his new inheritance.

"Oh, it's good to be alive again! " He yawned, stretched himself
vigorously, and went on deck to be told that they were almost abreast of
the lights of Brighton. This is no more open water than Trafalgar Square
is a common; the free levels begin at Ushant; but none the less Dick
could feel the healing of the sea at work upon him already. A boisterous
little cross-swell swung the steamer disrespectfully by the nose; and
one wave breaking far aft spattered the quarterdeck and the pile of new
deck-chairs. He heard the foam fall with the clash of broken glass, was
stung in the face by a cupful, and sniffing luxuriously, felt his way to
the smoking-room by the wheel. There a strong breeze found him, blew
his cap off and left him bareheaded in the doorway, and the smoking-room
steward, understanding that he was a voyager of experience, said that
the weather would be stiff in the chops off the Channel and more than
half a gale in the Bay. These things fell as they were foretold, and
Dick enjoyed himself to the utmost. It is allowable and even necessary
at sea to lay firm hold upon tables, stanchions, and ropes in moving
from place to place. On land the man who feels with his hands is
patently blind. At sea even a blind man who is not sea-sick can jest
with the doctor over the weakness of his fellows. Dick told the doctor
many tales--and these are coin of more value than silver if properly
handled--smoked with him till unholy hours of the night, and so won his
short-lived regard that he promised Dick a few hours of his time when
they came to Port Said.

And the sea roared or was still as the winds blew, and the engines sang
their song day and night, and the sun grew stronger day by day, and
Tom the Lascar barber shaved Dick of a morning under the opened
hatch-grating where the cool winds blew, and the awnings were spread and
the passengers made merry, and at last they came to Port Said.

"Take me," said Dick, to the doctor, "to Madame Binat's--if you know
where that is. "

"Whew! " said the doctor, "I do. There's not much to choose between 'em;
but I suppose you're aware that that's one of the worst houses in the
place. They'll rob you to begin with, and knife you later. "

"Not they. Take me there, and I can look after myself. "

So he was brought to Madame Binat's and filled his nostrils with the
well-remembered smell of the East, that runs without a change from the
Canal head to Hong-Kong, and his mouth with the villainous Lingua Franca
of the Levant. The heat smote him between the shoulder-blades with
the buffet of an old friend, his feet slipped on the sand, and his
coat-sleeve was warm as new-baked bread when he lifted it to his nose.

Madame Binat smiled with the smile that knows no astonishment when Dick
entered the drinking-shop which was one source of her gains. But for a
little accident of complete darkness he could hardly realise that he
had ever quitted the old life that hummed in his ears. Somebody opened
a bottle of peculiarly strong Schiedam. The smell reminded Dick of
Monsieur Binat, who, by the way, had spoken of art and degradation.

Binat was dead; Madame said as much when the doctor departed,
scandalised, so far as a ship's doctor can be, at the warmth of Dick's
reception. Dick was delighted at it. "They remember me here after a
year. They have forgotten me across the water by this time. Madame, I
want a long talk with you when you're at liberty. It is good to be back
again. "

In the evening she set an iron-topped cafe-table out on the sands, and
Dick and she sat by it, while the house behind them filled with riot,
merriment, oaths, and threats. The stars came out and the lights of the
shipping in the harbour twinkled by the head of the Canal.

"Yes. The war is good for trade, my friend; but what dost thou do here?
We have not forgotten thee. "

"I was over there in England and I went blind. "

"But there was the glory first. We heard of it here, even here--I
and Binat; and thou hast used the head of Yellow 'Tina--she is still
alive--so often and so well that 'Tina laughed when the papers arrived
by the mail-boats. It was always something that we here could recognise
in the paintings. And then there was always the glory and the money for
thee. "

"I am not poor--I shall pay you well. "

"Not to me. Thou hast paid for everything. " Under her breath, "Mon Dieu,
to be blind and so young! What horror! "

Dick could not see her face with the pity on it, or his own with the
discoloured hair at the temples. He did not feel the need of pity; he
was too anxious to get to the front once more, and explained his desire.

"And where? The Canal is full of the English ships.
Sometimes they fire
as they used to do when the war was here--ten years ago. Beyond Cairo
there is fighting, but how canst thou go there without a correspondent's
passport? And in the desert there is always fighting, but that is
impossible also," said she.

"I must go to Suakin. " He knew, thanks to Alf's readings, that Torpenhow
was at work with the column that was protecting the construction of the
Suakin-Berber line. P. and O. steamers do not touch at that port, and,
besides, Madame Binat knew everybody whose help or advice was worth
anything. They were not respectable folk, but they could cause things to
be accomplished, which is much more important when there is work toward.

"But at Suakin they are always fighting. That desert breeds men
always--and always more men. And they are so bold! Why to Suakin? "

"My friend is there.

"Thy friend! Chtt! Thy friend is death, then. "

Madame Binat dropped a fat arm on the table-top, filled Dick's glass
anew, and looked at him closely under the stars. There was no need that
he should bow his head in assent and say--"No. He is a man, but--if it
should arrive. . . blamest thou? "

"I blame? " she laughed shrilly. "Who am I that I should blame any
one--except those who try to cheat me over their consommations. But it
is very terrible. "

"I must go to Suakin. Think for me. A great deal has changed within the
year, and the men I knew are not here. The Egyptian lighthouse steamer
goes down the Canal to Suakin--and the post-boats--But even then----"

"Do not think any longer. I know, and it is for me to think. Thou shalt
go--thou shalt go and see thy friend. Be wise. Sit here until the house
is a little quiet--I must attend to my guests--and afterwards go to bed.
Thou shalt go, in truth, thou shalt go. "

"Tomorrow? "

"As soon as may be. " She was talking as though he were a child.

He sat at the table listening to the voices in the harbour and the
streets, and wondering how soon the end would come, till Madame Binat
carried him off to bed and ordered him to sleep. The house shouted and
sang and danced and revelled, Madame Binat moving through it with
one eye on the liquor payments and the girls and the other on Dick's
interests. To this latter end she smiled upon scowling and furtive
Turkish officers of fellaheen regiments, and was more than kind to camel
agents of no nationality whatever.

In the early morning, being then appropriately dressed in a flaming
red silk ball-dress, with a front of tarnished gold embroidery and a
necklace of plate-glass diamonds, she made chocolate and carried it in
to Dick.

"It is only I, and I am of discreet age, eh? Drink and eat the roll too.
Thus in France mothers bring their sons, when those behave wisely, the
morning chocolate. " She sat down on the side of the bed whispering:--"It
is all arranged. Thou wilt go by the lighthouse boat. That is a bribe
of ten pounds English. The captain is never paid by the Government. The
boat comes to Suakin in four days. There will go with thee George, a
Greek muleteer. Another bribe of ten pounds. I will pay; they must not
know of thy money. George will go with thee as far as he goes with his
mules. Then he comes back to me, for his well-beloved is here, and if
I do not receive a telegram from Suakin saying that thou art well, the
girl answers for George. "

"Thank you. " He reached out sleepily for the cup. "You are much too
kind, Madame. "

"If there were anything that I might do I would say, stay here and be
wise; but I do not think that would be best for thee. " She looked at her
liquor-stained dress with a sad smile. "Nay, thou shalt go, in truth,
thou shalt go. It is best so. My boy, it is best so. "

She stooped and kissed Dick between the eyes. "That is for
good-morning," she said, going away. "When thou art dressed we will
speak to George and make everything ready. But first we must open the
little trunk. Give me the keys. "

"The amount of kissing lately has been simply scandalous. I shall expect
Torp to kiss me next. He is more likely to swear at me for getting in
his way, though. Well, it won't last long. --Ohe, Madame, help me to my
toilette of the guillotine! There will be no chance of dressing properly
out yonder. "

He was rummaging among his new campaign-kit, and rowelling his hands
with the spurs. There are two ways of wearing well-oiled ankle-jacks,
spotless blue bands, khaki coat and breeches, and a perfectly pipeclayed
helmet. The right way is the way of the untired man, master of himself,
setting out upon an expedition, well pleased.

"Everything must be very correct," Dick explained. "It will become dirty
afterwards, but now it is good to feel well dressed. Is everything as it
should be? "

He patted the revolver neatly hidden under the fulness of the blouse on
the right hip and fingered his collar.

"I can do no more," Madame said, between laughing and crying. "Look at
thyself--but I forgot. "

"I am very content. " He stroked the creaseless spirals of his leggings.

"Now let us go and see the captain and George and the lighthouse boat.
Be quick, Madame. "

"But thou canst not be seen by the harbour walking with me in the
daylight. Figure to yourself if some English ladies----"

"There are no English ladies; and if there are, I have forgotten them.
Take me there. "

In spite of this burning impatience it was nearly evening ere the
lighthouse boat began to move. Madame had said a great deal both to
George and the captain touching the arrangements that were to be made
for Dick's benefit. Very few men who had the honour of her acquaintance
cared to disregard Madame's advice. That sort of contempt might end in
being knifed by a stranger in a gambling hell upon surprisingly short
provocation.

For six days--two of them were wasted in the crowded Canal--the
little steamer worked her way to Suakin, where she was to pick up the
superintendent of the lighthouse; and Dick made it his business to
propitiate George, who was distracted with fears for the safety of his
light-of-love and half inclined to make Dick responsible for his own
discomfort. When they arrived George took him under his wing, and
together they entered the red-hot seaport, encumbered with the material
and wastage of the Suakin-Berger line, from locomotives in disconsolate
fragments to mounds of chairs and pot-sleepers.

"If you keep with me," said George, "nobody will ask for passports or
what you do. They are all very busy. "

"Yes; but I should like to hear some of the Englishmen talk. They might
remember me. I was known here a long time ago--when I was some one
indeed. "

"A long time ago is a very long time ago here. The graveyards are full.
Now listen. This new railway runs out so far as Tanai-el-Hassan--that is
seven miles. Then there is a camp. They say that beyond Tanai-el-Hassan
the English troops go forward, and everything that they require will be
brought to them by this line. "

"Ah! Base camp. I see. That's a better business than fighting Fuzzies in
the open. "

"For this reason even the mules go up in the iron-train. "

"Iron what? "

"It is all covered with iron, because it is still being shot at. "

"An armoured train. Better and better! Go on, faithful George. "

"And I go up with my mules tonight. Only those who particularly require
to go to the camp go out with the train. They begin to shoot not far
from the city. "

"The dears--they always used to! " Dick snuffed the smell of parched
dust, heated iron, and flaking paint with delight. Certainly the old
life was welcoming him back most generously.

"When I have got my mules together I go up tonight, but you must first
send a telegram of Port Said, declaring that I have done you no harm. "

"Madame has you well in hand. Would you stick a knife into me if you had
the chance? "

"I have no chance," said the Greek. "She is there with that woman. "

"I see. It's a bad thing to be divided between love of woman and the
chance of loot. I sympathise with you, George. "

They went to the telegraph-office unquestioned, for all the world was
desperately busy and had scarcely time to turn its head, and Suakin was
the last place under sky that would be chosen for holiday-ground. On
their return the voice of an English subaltern asked Dick what he was
doing. The blue goggles were over his eyes and he walked with his hand
on George's elbow as he replied--"Egyptian Government--mules. My orders
are to give them over to the A. C. G. at Tanai-el-Hassan. Any occasion
to show my papers? "

"Oh, certainly not. I beg your pardon. I'd no right to ask, but not
seeing your face before I----"

"I go out in the train tonight, I suppose," said Dick, boldly. "There
will be no difficulty in loading up the mules, will there? "

"You can see the horse-platforms from here. You must have them loaded up
early. " The young man went away wondering what sort of broken-down
waif this might be who talked like a gentleman and consorted with Greek
muleteers. Dick felt unhappy. To outface an English officer is no small
thing, but the bluff loses relish when one plays it from the utter dark,
and stumbles up and down rough ways, thinking and eternally thinking
of what might have been if things had fallen out otherwise, and all had
been as it was not.

George shared his meal with Dick and went off to the mule-lines. His
charge sat alone in a shed with his face in his hands. Before his
tight-shut eyes danced the face of Maisie, laughing, with parted lips.
There was a great bustle and clamour about him. He grew afraid and
almost called for George.

"I say, have you got your mules ready? " It was the voice of the
subaltern over his shoulder.

"My man's looking after them. The--the fact is I've a touch of
ophthalmia and can't see very well.

"By Jove! that's bad. You ought to lie up in hospital for a while. I've
had a turn of it myself. It's as bad as being blind. "

"So I find it. When does this armoured train go? "

"At six o'clock. It takes an hour to cover the seven miles. "

"Are the Fuzzies on the rampage--eh? "

"About three nights a week. Fact is I'm in acting command of the
night-train. It generally runs back empty to Tanai for the night. "

"Big camp at Tanai, I suppose? "

"Pretty big. It has to feed our desert-column somehow. "

"Is that far off? "

"Between thirty and forty miles--in an infernal thirsty country. "

"Is the country quiet between Tanai and our men? "

"More or less. I shouldn't care to cross it alone, or with a subaltern's
command for the matter of that, but the scouts get through it in some
extraordinary fashion. "

"They always did. "

"Have you been here before, then? "

"I was through most of the trouble when it first broke out. "

"In the service and cashiered," was the subaltern's first thought, so he
refrained from putting any questions.

"There's your man coming up with the mules. It seems rather queer----"

"That I should be mule-leading? " said Dick.

"I didn't mean to say so, but it is. Forgive me--it's beastly
impertinence I know, but you speak like a man who has been at a public
school. There's no mistaking the tone. "

"I am a public school man. "

"I thought so. I say, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you're a
little down on your luck, aren't you? I saw you sitting with your head
in your hands, and that's why I spoke. "

"Thanks. I am about as thoroughly and completely broke as a man need
be. "

"Suppose--I mean I'm a public school man myself. Couldn't I
perhaps--take it as a loan y'know and----"

"You're much too good, but on my honour I've as much money as I want.
. . . I tell you what you could do for me, though, and put me under an
everlasting obligation.