No More Learning

Indeed I could easily refrain from Eels and Swines Flesh, if I
might fill my Belly with Capons and Partridges.

_Ch. _ In a great many Circumstances it is not the Thing, but the Mind
that distinguishes us from _Jews_; they held their Hands from certain
Meats, as from unclean Things, that would pollute the Mind; but we,
understanding that _to the Pure, all Things are pure_, yet take away
Food from the wanton Flesh, as we do Hay from a pamper'd Horse, that it
may be more ready to hearken to the Spirit. We sometimes chastise the
immoderate Use of pleasant Things, by the Pain of Abstinence.

_Au. _ I hear you; but by the same Argument, Circumcision of the Flesh
may be defended; for that moderates the Itch of Coition, and brings
Pain. If all hated Fish as bad as I do, I would scarce put a Parricide
to so much Torture.

_Ch. _ Some Palates are better pleas'd with Fish than Flesh.

_Au. _ Then they like those Things that please their Gluttony, but don't
make for their Health.

_Ch. _ I have heard of some of the _Æsops_ and _Apitius_'s, that have
look'd upon Fish as the greatest Delicacy.

_Au. _ How then do Dainties agree with Punishment?

_Ch. _ Every Body han't Lampreys, Scares, and Sturgeons.

_Au. _ Then it is only the poor Folks that are tormented, with whom it is
bad enough, if they were permitted to eat Flesh; and it often happens,
that when they may eat Flesh for the Church, they can't for their Purse.

_Ch. _ Indeed, a very hard Injunction!

_Au. _ And if the Prohibition of Flesh be turned to delicious Living to
the Rich; and if the Poor can't eat Flesh many Times, when otherwise
they might, nor can't eat Fish, because they are commonly the dearer; to
whom does the Injunction do good?

_Ch. _ To all; for poor Folks may eat Cockles or Frogs, or may gnaw upon
Onions or Leeks. The middle Sort of People will make some Abatement in
their usual Provision; and though the Rich do make it an Occasion of
living deliciously, they ought to impute that to their Gluttony, and not
blame the Constitution of the Church.

_Au. _ You have said very well; but for all that, to require Abstinence
from Flesh of poor Folks, who feed their Families by the Sweat of their
Brows, and live a great Way from Rivers and Lakes, is the same Thing as
to command a Famine, or rather a _Bulimia_. And if we believe _Homer_,
it is the miserablest Death in the World to be starv'd to Death.

_Ch. _ So it seem'd to blind _Homer_; but with _Christians_, he is not
miserable that dies well.

_Au. _ Let that be so; yet it is a very hard Thing to require any Body to
die.

_Ch. _ The Popes don't prohibit the eating of Flesh with that Design, to
kill Men, but that they may be moderately afflicted if they have
transgress'd; or that taking away their pleasant Food, their Bodies may
be less fierce against the Spirit.

_Au. _ The moderate Use of Flesh would effect that.

_Ch. _ But in so great a Variety of Bodies certain Bounds of Flesh can't
be prescrib'd, a Kind of Food may.

_Au. _ There are Fishes that yield much Aliment, and there are Sorts of
Flesh that yield but little.

_Ch. _ But in general Flesh is most nourishing.

_Au. _ Pray tell me, if you were to go a Journey any whither, would you
chuse a lively Horse that was a little wanton, or a diseased Horse, who
would often stumble and throw his Rider?

_Ch. _ What do you mean by that?

_Au. _ Because Fish-eating, by its corrupt Humours, renders the Body
liable to a great many Diseases, that it can't subserve the Spirit as it
should do.

_Ch. _ To what Diseases?

_Au. _ Gouts, Fevers, Leprosies, the King's-Evil.

_Ch. _ How do you know?

_Au. _ I believe Physicians. I had rather do so than try the Experiment.

_Ch. _ Perhaps that happens to a few.

_Au. _ Indeed I believe to a great many; besides, in as much as the Mind
acts by the material Organs of the Body, which are affected with good or
bad Humours, the Instruments being vitiated, it can't exert its Power as
it would.

_Ch. _ I know Doctors do very much find Fault with the eating of Fish;
but our Ancestors thought otherwise, and it is our Duty to obey them.

_Au. _ It was a Piece of Religion formerly not to break the Sabbath; but
for all that, it was more eligible to save a Man on the Sabbath-Day.

_Ch. _ Every one consults his own Health.

_Au. _ If we will obey St. _Paul, Let no Body mind his own Things, but
every one the Things of another_.

_Ch. _ How come we by this new Divine at our Table? Whence comes this new
upstart Master of ours?

_Au. _ Because I don't like Fishes.

_Ch. _ What, then won't you abstain from Flesh?

_Au. _ I do abstain, but grumblingly, and to my great Detriment too.

_Ch. Charity suffers all Things. _

_Au. _ It is true; but then the same requires but little. If it suffers
all Things, why won't it suffer us to eat those Meats the Gospel has
given us a Liberty to eat? Why do those Persons, from whom Christ has so
often required the Love of himself, suffer so many Bodies of Men to be
endanger'd by capital Diseases, and their Souls to be in Danger of
eternal Damnation, because of a Thing neither forbidden by _Christ_, nor
necessary in itself?

_Ch. _ When Necessity requires it, the Force of a human Constitution
ceases, and the Will of the Lawgiver ceases.

_Au. _ But the Offence of the Weak does not cease. The Scruple of a
tender Conscience does not cease. And lastly, it is uncertain with what
Limits that Necessity shall be bounded; shall it be when the Fish-eater
shall be a giving up the Ghost? It is too late to give Flesh to a Man
when he is dying; or shall it be when his Body becomes all feverish?
The Choice of Meats is not of so much Consequence.

_Ch. _ What would you have prescrib'd then?

_Au. _ I can tell well enough, if I might be allow'd to be a Dictator in
Ecclesiastical Affairs.

_Ch. _ What do you mean by that?

_Au. _ If I were Pope I would exhort all Persons to a perpetual Sobriety
of Life, but especially before an holy-Day; and moreover, I would give
every one leave to eat what he would, for the Health of his Body, so he
did it moderately, and with Thanksgiving; and I would endeavour that
what was abated of these Observations should be made up in the Study of
true Piety.

_Ch. _ That in my Opinion is of so great Weight, that we ought to make
you Pope.

_Au. _ For all your laughing, this Neck could bear a triple Crown.

_Ch. _ But in the mean Time take Care that these Things be not enter'd
down in the _Sorbon_ at _Paris_.

_Au. _ Nay, rather let what is said be written in Wine, as it is fit
those Things should that are said over our Cups; but we have had
Divinity enough for a Feast We are at Supper, not at the _Sorbon_.

_Ch. _ Why mayn't that be call'd _Sorbon_ where we sup plentifully?

_Au. _ Well, let us sup then, and not dispute, lest the _Sorbon_ be
called after us from _Sorbis_, and not from _Sorbendo_.

_CHRISTIAN, GUESTS, MIDAS, ERASMUS, the BOY, AUSTIN. _

_Ch. _ Well, come my kind Guests, I pray you that you would take this
little Supper in good Part, though it be but a slender one. Be merry and
good humour'd, though the Supper be but mean and slender. I, relying
upon your Familiarity, made bold to invite you; and I will assure you,
your Company and Presence is not only very grateful to me, but very
pleasant.

_Gu. _ We do assure you, good _Christian_, that we esteem your Supper to
have been very pretty and noble; and we have nothing to find Fault with,
but that you make Excuses for it, for that it was very magnificent; for
indeed I look upon the Entertainment to be splendid to the greatest
degree, that in the first Place consisted of Courses agreeable to
Nature, and was season'd with Mirth, Laughter, Jokes and Witticisms,
none of which have been wanting in our Entertainment. But here is
something comes into my Mind, as to the Number of the Guests, which
_Varro_ writes, _should not be fewer than three, nor more than nine_.
For the _Graces_, who are the Presidents of Humanity and Benevolence,
are three; and the _Muses_, that are the Guides of commendable Studies,
are nine; and I see here we have ten Guests besides the Virgins.

_Au. _ Nothing could happen more agreeably; we are in that something
wiser than _Varro_, for we have gotten here three pretty Maids for the
three _Graces_; and as it is not to be thought that _Apollo_ is ever
absent from the Chorus of the _Muses_, we have very much _à propos_
added the tenth Guest.

_Ch. _ You have spoken very much like a Poet. If I had a Laurel here I
would crown you with it, and you should be Poet Laureat.

_Au. _ If I were crown'd with Mallows, I should be Poet _Maleat_; I do
not arrogate that Honour to myself. This is an Honour that I don't
deserve.

------_Haud equidem tali me dignor honore. _

_Ch. _ Will you, every one of you, do as much for me as I will do for
you?

_Gu. _ Ay, that we will with all our Hearts.

_Ch. _ Then let every one drink off his Cup round as I do. Here's to you
first, _Midas_.

_Mi. _ I thank you heartily. I pledge you heartily; for which the Vulgar
says _Præstolor_. Indeed I won't refuse. I won't refuse any Thing for
your Sake.

_Ch. _ Now do you drink to the rest.

_Mi. Erasmus_, Half this Cup to you.

_Er. _ I pray it may do you good. May it do you good. Much good may it do
you. _Proficiat_ is an out of the Way Word.

_Ch. _ Why does the Cup stand still? Why does it not go about? Is our
Wine gone? Where are your Eyes, you Rascal? Run quickly, fetch two
Quarts of the same Wine.

_Boy. Erasmus_, your humble Servant, there is one wants to speak with
you at the Door.

_Er. _ Who is it?

_Boy. _ He says he is one Mr. _More_'s, Man, his Master is come out of
_Britain_, and he desires you would make him a Visit, because he sets
out for _Germany_ to-Morrow by Break of Day.

_Er. Christian_, gather the Reckoning, for I must be going.

_Ch. _ The Reckoning, most learned _Erasmus_, of this Supper, I will
discharge that. You have no Need to put your Hand in your Pocket. I
thank you that you honour'd me with your Company; but I am sorry you are
called away before the Comedy is ended.

_Er. _ Have I any Thing more to do but to bid you _Farewell and be
merry? _

_Ch. _ Farewell, we can't take it amiss, because you don't leave a
Shoulder of Mutton for a Sheep's-Head, but go from Friends to a better
Friend.

_Er. _ And I in like Manner return you my Thanks, that you have been so
kind as to invite me to this most pleasant Entertainment. My very good
Friends, fare ye well. Drink heartily, and live merrily.

_Ch. _ Soho, _Dromo_. You, all of you, have sitten still a good While.
Does any Body please to have any Thing else?

_Gu. _ Nothing at all. We have eat very plentifully.

_Ch. _ Then take away these Things, and set on the Desert. Change the
Trenchers and the Plates. Take up my Knife that is fallen down. Pour
some Wine over the Pears. Here are some early ripe Mulberries that grew
in my own Garden.

_Gu. _ They will be the better for being of your own Growth.

_Ch. _ Here are some wheaten Plumbs: See, here are Damascens, a rare
Sight with us: See, here are mellow Apples; and here is a new Sort of an
Apple, the Stock of which I set with my own Hands; and Chestnuts, and
all Kinds of Delicacies, which our Gardens produce plentifully.

_Au. _ But here are no Flowers.

_Ch.
_ They are _French_ Entertainments, who love that Sort of Splendor
most that costs least; but that is not my Humour.

_Au. _ 'Tis not only among _Frenchmen_ that you will find those that love
what is of little Cost.

_Ch. _ But hark you, _Austin_, do you think to come off so? What, won't
you pledge me when I drink to you? You ought to have taken off Half the
Cup of him that drank to you.

_Au. _ He excused me for that a great While ago. He discharg'd me of that
Obligation.

_Ch. _ Pray who gave him that Power? The Pope himself can hardly dispense
with this Obligation. You know the ancient Law of Drinking, _Either
drink or go your Way_.

_Au. _ He that an Oath is made to has Power to suspend it, and especially
he, whose Concern it was to have it kept.

_Ch. _ But it is the Duty of all Guests to observe Laws inviolably.

_Au. _ Well, come on, since this is the _German_ Custom, I'll drink what
is left. But what Business have you with me?

_Ch. _ You must pay for all. Why do you look pale? Don't be afraid, you
may do it very easily, do as you have often done, that by some Elegancy
we may rise from Table more learned; nor are you ignorant that the
Ancients over the second Course used to dispute of some more diverting
Subjects. Come on then, by what, and after how many Ways may this
Sentence be vary'd, _Indignum auditu? _


* * * * *

_It is not worth hearing. The Form. _

_Au. _ You have very fitly made Use of the latter Supine. It is not worth
hearing. It is unworthy to be heard. It is not worthy to be heard. It is
so light it ought not to be heard. It is scarce worth While to relate.
It is not of such Value as to be heard. It is too silly to be heard. It
is not worth While to tell it.

_Ch. _ How many Ways may this Sentence be turn'd, _Magno mihi constat? _

* * * * *

_The Ratio of varying this Sentence. _

_Magno mihi constat. _

_Au. _ By these Words, _impendo, insumo, impertio, constat_, as: I have
taken Pains much in teaching you. I have taken much Pains in that
Matter. I have not spent less Money than I have Care upon that Matter. I
have not spent a little Money, but much Time, and very much Labour, and
some Study. I have spent much Study. This Thing has cost me many a
Night's Sleep, much Sweat, much Endeavour, very much Labour, a great
Expence, a great Deal of Money. It has cost me more than you believe. My
Wife stands me in less than my Horse.

_Ch. _ But what is the meaning, _Austin_, that you put sometimes an
Ablative, and sometimes a Genitive Case to the Verb _constat_?

_Au. _ You have stated a very useful and very copious Question. But that
I may not be troublesome to the Company by my too much Talk, I will
dispatch it in a few Words. But I desire to hear every Man's Opinion,
that I may not be troublesome to any Man, as I have said.

_Ch. _ But why may not the Damsels desire the same?

_Au. _ Indeed they do nothing else but hear. I'll attempt it with
_Grammatica_'s Assistance. "You know that Verbs of buying and selling,
and some others, are of a like Signification, to which these Genitives
are put alone, without Substantives, _tanti, quanti, pluris, minoris,
tantidem, quantivis, quanticunque_: But in Case Substantives be not
added, which, if they happen to be put, they are both turned into the
Ablative Case; so that if a certain Price be set down, you put it in the
Ablative Case; if by an Adjective put substantively, you put it in the
Ablative Case, unless you had rather make Use of an Adverb. "

_Ch. _ What are those Verbs that you speak of?

_Au. _ "They are commonly _emo, mereor; redimo_, (that is a Thing either
taken or lost) _vendo, venundo; revendo_, (that is, I sell again that
which was sold to me) _veneo_, (that is, I am sold) whose Prater Tense
is _venivi_, or _venii_, the Supine _venum_; hence comes _venalis_; and
from that, _i. e. _ _vendo_, comes _vendibilis; mereo_, for _inservio et
stipendium_ _facio_, _i. e. _ to serve under (as a Soldier). _Comparo_,
that is, to buy, or commit. _Computo_, I change, I exchange with.
_Cambire_ is wholly barbarous in this Sense. _Æstimo_, to tax. _Indico_,
for I estimate, rate. _Liceor, liceris; licitor, licitaris_, to cheapen,
to bid. _Distrahor_, _i. e. _ I am carried about to be sold. _Metior_, for
I estimate or rate. _Constat_, for it is bought. _Conducere_, to let to
hire. _Fænero_, I put to Interest. _Fæneror_, I take at Interest (to
Usury. ) _Paciscor, pactus sum pango, pepigi_, _i. e. _ I make a Bargain. "

_Ch. _ Give an Example.

* * * * *

_Of selling and buying. _

_The Forms. _

_Au. _ How much do you lett that Field for by the Year. We will answer.
For twenty _French_ Pounds. Whoo! You lett it too dear. Nay, I have lett
it for more before now. But I would not give so much for it. If you hire
it for less I'll be hang'd. Nay, your Neighbour _Chremes_ offer'd me a
Field, and asks for it--How much? Just as much as you ask for yours.
But it is much better. That's a Lye. I do as they use to do who cheapen
a Thing. Do you keep it yourself at that Price. What, do you cheapen,
ask the Price, when you won't buy any Thing. Whatsoever you shall lett
it me for shall be paid you very honestly.

_Of Selling and Buying. _

_Another Example. _

How much do you sell that Conger Eel for?

_Syra. _ For five Pence. That's too much, you nasty Jade. Nay, 'tis too
little, no Body will sell you for less. Upon my Life it cost me as much
within a Trifle. You Witch, you tell a Lie, that you may sell it for
twice or three Times as much as it cost you. Ay, I'll sell it for a
hundred Times as much if I can, but I can't find such Fools. What if I
should ask the Price of yourself? What do you value yourself at?
According as I like the Person. What do you prize yourself at? What
Price do you set upon yourself? Tell me, what Price do you rate yourself
at? Ten Shillings. Whoo, so much? O strange! Do you value me at less?
Time was when I have had as much for one Night. I believe you may, but I
believe you an't now worth so much as a Fish by a great Deal. Go hang
yourself, you Pimp. I value you as little as you do me. He that shall
give a Farthing for you buys you too dear. But I'll be sold for more, or
I won't be sold at all. If you would be sold at a great Rate you must
get you a Mask, for those Wrinkles in your Forehead won't let you be
sold for much. He that won't give so much for me shan't have me. I would
not give a Straw for you. I cost more.

_A third Example. _

I have been at an Auction to-Day. Say you so? I bid Money for a Share in
the Customs. But how much? Ten Thousand Pound. Whoo! what, so much?
There were those that bid a great Deal more; very few that offer'd less.
Well, and who had the Place at last? _Chremes_, your Wife's great
Friend. But guess what it was sold for. Ten. Nay, fifteen. O good God! I
would not give Half so much for him and all his Family together. But he
would give twice as much for your Wife. "Do you take Notice, that in all
these, wheresoever there is a Substantive of the Price, that is put in
the Ablative Case; but that the rest are either put in the Genitive
Case, or are changed into Adverbs. You have never heard a Comparative
without a Substantive, except in these two, _pluris_, and _minoris_.
There are some other Verbs, of which we have spoken, that are not very
much unlike these, _sum, facio, habeo, duco, æstimo, pendo_, which
signify (in a Manner) the same Thing; likewise _fio_, and they are for
the most Part join'd with these Genitives, _multi, parvi, magni, pluris,
plurimi, minoris, minimi, maximi, tanti, quanti, flocci, pili, nihili,
nauci, hujus_, and any other like them. " _Ch. _ Give Examples.

_Of valuing. The Form. _

_Au. _ Do you know how much I have always valu'd you? You will always be
made of such Account by Men as you make Account of Virtue. Gold is
valued at a great Rate now a-Days, Learning is valued at a very little,
or just nothing at all. I value Gold less than you think for. I don't
value your Threats of a Rush. I make a very little Account of your
Promises. I don't value you of a Hair. If Wisdom were but valued at so
great a Rate as Money, no Body would want Gold. With us, Gold without
Wisdom is esteem'd to be of more Worth than Wisdom without Gold. I
esteem you at a greater Rate, because you are learned. You will be the
less esteem'd on here because you don't know how to lye. Here are a
great many that will persuade you that Black is White. I set the
greater Value upon you because you love Learning. So much as you have,
so much you shall be esteem'd by all Men; so much as you have, so much
you shall be accounted of every where. It is no Matter what you are
accounted, but what you are. I value my _Christian_ above any Man else
in the World. "There are some other Verbs found with these Genitives and
Ablatives, which in their own Nature don't signify buying, or anything
like it. " _Peter_ bought a Kiss of the Maid for a Shilling. Much good
may it do him. I would not kiss at that Rate. How much do you play for?
What did you pay for Supper? We read of some that have spent Six hundred
Sesterces for a Supper. But the _French_ often sup for a Half-penny.
What Price does _Faustus_ teach for? A very small Matter. But for more
than _Delius_. For how much then? For nineteen Guineas. I won't learn to
lye at so dear a Rate. _Phædria_ in _Terence_ lost both his Substance
and himself. But I would not love at that Rate. Some Persons pay a great
Price for sleeping. _Demosthenes_ had more for holding his Tongue than
others had for speaking. I pray you to take it in good Part. "There is
another Sort of Verbs, that require an Accusative Case, with a Genitive
or Ablative, which are, _accuso_, _i. e.