Had you not better go and make further
inquiries
?
Universal Anthology - v01
What is called desire, and what are the sources of desire ?
And what is envy ?
Yudhisthira — He is to be called learned who knoweth his duties. An atheist is he who is ignorant, and he who is igno rant is an atheist. Desire is due to objects of possession. And envy is nothing else than grief of heart.
The Yaksha — What is pride, and what hypocrisy ? What is the grace of the gods, and what is wickedness ?
Yudhisthira — Stolid ignorance is pride ; the setting up of a religious standard is hypocrisy. The grace of the gods is the fruit of our gifts ; and wickedness consists in speaking ill of others. —
Yudhisthira When a wife and virtue agree with each other, then all the three thou hast mentioned may exist together. The Yaksha — O bull of the Bharata race, who is he that is
condemned to everlasting hell ?
Yudhisthira — He that summoneth a poor Brahmana, prom~
Virtue, profit, and desire are opposed to one
The Yaksha
another. How could things thus antagonistic to one another exist together ? —
226 A HINDOO CATECHISM.
ising to make him a gift, and then tells him that he hath noth ing to give, goeth to everlasting hell. He also must go to everlasting hell who imputes falsehood to the Vedas, the Scriptures, the Brahmanas, the gods, and the ceremonies in honor of the Pitris. He also goeth to everlasting hell who, though in possession of wealth, never giveth away nor enjoyeth himself, from avarice, saying he hath none.
The Yaksha — By what, O king, — birth, behavior, study, or learning, — doth a person become a Brahmana ? Tell us with certitude !
Yudhhthira — Listen, O Yaksha ! It is neither birth nor study nor learning that is the cause of Brahmanhood. With out doubt, it is behavior that constitutes it. One's behavior should always be well guarded, especially by a Brahmana. He who maintains his conduct unimpaired is never impaired him self. He, however, whose conduct is lost is lost himself. Pro fessors and pupils, — all who study the Scriptures, in fact, — if addicted to wicked habits, are to be regarded as illiterate wretches. He only is learned who performeth his religious duties. He even that hath studied the four Vedas is to be regarded as a wicked wretch, scarcely distinguishable from a Sudra, if his conduct be not correct. He only who performeth the Agni-Votra and hath his senses under control is called a Brahmana. —
The Yaksha — Who is truly happy ? What is most wonder ful? What is the path? And what is the news ?
Yudhisthira — A man who cooketh in his own house scanty vegetables on the fifth or the sixth day, but who is not in debt and who stirreth not from home, is truly happy. Day after day countless beings are going to the abode of Yama (the god of death), yet those that remain behind believe themselves to be immortal. What can be more wonderful than this ? Argu ment leads to no certain conclusion ; the Crutis are different
What doth one gain that speaketh agreeably?
The Yaksha
What doth he gain that always acteth with judgment ? What doth he gain that hath many friends? And what he that is devoted to virtue ?
Yudhisthira — He that speaketh agreeable words becometh agreeable to all. He that acteth with judgment obtaineth what ever he seeketh. He that hath many friends liveth happily. And he that is devoted to virtue obtaineth a happy state in the next world.
HINDOO APOLOGUES. 227
from one another ; there is not even one Rishi whose opinion can be accepted as infallible ; the truth about religion and duty is hid in caves : therefore, that alone is the path along which the great have trod. This world, full of ignorance, is like a pan. The sun is fire ; the days and nights are fuel. The months and the seasons constitute the wooden ladle. Time is the cook, that with such aids is cooking all creatures in that pan : this is the news.
The Yaksha — Thou hast, O represser of foes, truly an swered all my questions ! Tell us now who is truly a man, and what man truly possesseth every kind of wealth.
Yudhisthira — The report of one's good action reacheth heaven and spreadeth over the earth. As long as that report lasteth, so long is a person called a man. And that person to whom the agreeable and the disagreeable, weal and woe, the past and the future, are the same, is said to possess every kind of wealth.
HINDOO APOLOGUES.
(From "Tales of the Punjab," edited by Flora Annie Steel. ) The Jackal and the Iguana.
One moonlight night, a miserable, half-starved jackal, skulk ing through the village, found a worn-out pair of shoes in the gutter. They were too tough for him to eat, so, determined to make some use of them, he strung them to his ears like ear rings, and, going down to the edge of the pond, gathered all the old bones he could find together, and built a platform with them, plastering it over with mud.
On this he sat in a dignified attitude, and when any ani mal came to the pond to drink, he cried out in a loud voice : " Hi ! stop ! You must not taste a drop till you have done homage to me. So repeat these verses, which I have composed in honor of the occasion, —
" Silver is his dais, plastered o'er with gold ;
In his ears are jewels — some prince I must behold! "
Now, as most of the animals were very thirsty, and in a great hurry to drink, they did not care to dispute the matter, but gabbled off the words without a second thought. Even the royal tiger, treating it as a jest, repeated the jackal's rhyme, in consequence of which the latter became quite cock-a-hoop,
228 HINDOO APOLOGUES.
and really began to believe he was a personage of great importance.
By and by an iguana, or big lizard, came waddling and wheezing down to the water, looking for all the world like a baby alligator. "
" Hi ! you there ! sang out the jackal : " you mustn't drink until you have said, —
" Silver is his dais, plastered o'er with gold ;
In his ears are jewels — some prince I must behold ! "
" Pouf ! pouf ! pouf ! " gasped the iguana. " Mercy on us, how dry my throat is ! Mightn't I have just a wee sip of water first? and then I could do justice to your admirable lines; at present I am as hoarse as a crow ! "
" By all means ! " replied the jackal, with a gratified smirk. " I flatter myself the verses are good, especially when well recited. "
So the iguana, nose down into the water, drank away, until the jackal began to think he would never leave off, and was quite taken aback when he finally came to an end of his draught, and began to move away.
" Hi"! hi ! " cried the jackal, recovering his presence of mind ; stop a bit and say, —
" Silver is his dais, plastered o'er with gold ;
In his ears are jewels — some prince I must behold! "
" Dear me ! " replied the iguana, politely, " I was very nearly forgetting ! Let me see — I must try my voice first — do, re, me, fa, sol, la, si, — that is right ! Now, how does it
run? "" Silver is his dais, plastered o'er with gold ;
In his ears are jewels — some prince I must behold ! "
repeated the jackal, not observing that the lizard was carefully edging farther and farther away. I think I could say
" Exactly so," returned the iguana ; "
that ! " Whereupon he sang out at the top of his voice, —
" Bones make up his dais, with mud it's plastered o'er, " Old shoes are his ear drops : a jackal, nothing more !
And turning round, he bolted for his hole as hard as he could.
HINDOO APOLOGUES.
229
The jackal could scarcely believe his ears, and sat dumb with astonishment. Then, rage lending him wings, he flew after the lizard, who, despite his short legs and scanty breath, put his best foot foremost, and scuttled away at a great rate.
It was a near race, however, for just as he popped into his hole the jackal caught him by the tail and held on. Then it was a case of " pull butcher, pull baker," until the lizard made certain his tail must come off, and the jackal felt as if his front teeth would come out. Still not an inch did either budge, one way or the other, and there they might have remained till the present day had not the iguana called out, in his sweetest tones : " Friend, I give in ! Just leave hold of my tail, will you ? Then I can turn round and come out. "
Whereupon the jackal let go, and the tail disappeared up the hole in a twinkling ; while all the reward the jackal got for digging away until his nails were nearly worn out was hearing the iguana sing softly, —
" Bones make up his dais, with mud it's plastered o'er, " Old shoes are his ear drops : a jackal, nothing more !
The Jackal and the Partridge.
A Jackal and a Partridge swore eternal friendship ; but the Jackal was very exacting and jealous. " You don't do half as much for me as Ido for you," he used to say, "and yet you talk a great deal of your friendship. Now my idea of a friend is one who is able to make me laugh or cry, give me a good meal, or save my life if need be. You couldn't do that ! "
" Let us see," answered the Partridge ; " follow me at a little distance, and if I don't make you laugh soon you may eat me ! "
So she flew on till she met two travelers trudging along, one behind the other. They were both footsore and weary, and the first carried his bundle on a stick over his shoulder, while the second had his shoes in his hand.
Lightly as a feather the Partridge settled on the first trav eler's stick. He, none the wiser, trudged on ; but the second traveler, seeing the bird sitting so tamely just in front of his nose, said to himself, " What a chance for a supper ! " and immediately flung his shoes at it, they being ready to hand. Whereupon the Partridge flew away, and the shoes knocked off the first traveler's turban.
230
HINDOO APOLOGUES.
" What a plague do you mean ? " cried he, angrily turning on his companion. "Why did you throw your shoes at my
head? " " " Brother !
replied the other, mildly, " do not be vexed. I didn't throw them at you, but at a Partridge that was sitting
on your stick. " " "On my stick ! Do you take me for a fool?
shouted the injured man, in a great rage. " Don't tell me such cock-and-
bull stories. First you insult me,"and then you lie like a cow ard ; but I'll teach you manners !
Then he fell upon his fellow-traveler without more ado, and they fought until they could not see out of their eyes, till their noses were bleeding, their clothes in rags, and the Jackal had nearly died of laughing. "
" Are you satisfied ? asked the Partridge of her friend.
"Well," answered the Jackal, "you have certainly made me laugh, but I doubt if you could make me cry. It is easy enough to be a buffoon ; it is more difficult to excite the higher emotions. "
" Let us see," retorted the Partridge, somewhat piqued ; "there is a huntsman with his dogs coming along the road. Just creep into that hollow tree and watch me ; if you don't weep scalding tears, you must have no feeling in you ! "
The Jackal did as he was bid, and watched the Partridge, who began fluttering about the bushes till the dogs caught sight of her, when she flew to the hollow tree where the Jackal was hidden. Of course the dogs smelt him at once, and set up such a yelping and scratching that the huntsman came up, and see ing what it was, dragged the Jackal out by the tail. Where upon the dogs worried him to their hearts' content, and finally left him for dead. — —
By and by he opened his eyes for he was only foxing and saw the Partridge sitting on a branch above him.
" Did you cry ? " she asked anxiously. " Did I rouse your higher emo "
" Be quiet, will you ! " snarled the Jackal ; " I'm half dead with fear ! "
So there the Jackal lay for some time, getting the better of his bruises, and meanwhile he became" hungry.
" Now is the time for friendship ! said he to the Partridge. " Get me a good dinner, and I will acknowledge you are a true friend. "
HINDOO APOLOGUES. 231
" Very well ! " replied the Partridge ; " only watch me, and help yourself when the time comes. "
Just then a troop of women came by, carrying their hus bands' dinners to the harvest field.
The Partridge gave a little plaintive cry, and began flutter ing along from bush to bush as if she were wounded.
" A wounded bird ! — a wounded bird ! " cried the women ; " we can easily catch it ! "
Whereupon they set off in pursuit, but the cunning Par tridge played a thousand tricks, till they became so excited over the chase that they put their bundles on the ground in order to pursue it more nimbly. The Jackal, meanwhile, seiz ing his opportunity, crept up, and made off with a good dinner.
" Well," returned the Jackal, " I confess you have given me a very good dinner ; you have also made me laugh — and cry — ahem ! But, after all, the great test of friendship is beyond you — you couldn't save my life ! "
"Are you satisfied now? " asked the Partridge.
" Perhaps not," acquiesced the Partridge, mournfully, " I am so small and weak. But it grows late — we should be going home ; and as it is a long way round by the ford, let us go across the river. My friend the crocodile will carry us over. "
Accordingly, they set off for the river, and the crocodile kindly consented to carry them across ; so they sat on his broad back, and he ferried them over. But just as they were in the
middle of the stream the Partridge remarked : "
crocodile intends to play us a trick. How awkward if he were to drop you into the water ! "
" Awkward for you, too ! " replied the Jackal, turning pale.
I have wings, you haven't. "
On this the Jackal shivered and shook with fear, and when the crocodile, in a grewsome growl, remarked that he was
"Notatall! notatall!
hungry and wanted a good meal, the wretched creature hadn't a word to say.
" Pooh ! " cried the Partridge, airily, " don't try tricks on us — I should fly away, and as for my friend the Jackal, you couldn't hurt him. He is not such a fool as to take his life with him on these little excursions ; he leaves it at home locked up in the cupboard. "
"Is that a fact? " asked the crocodile, surprised.
" Certainly ! " retorted the Partridge. " Try to eat him if you like, but you will only tire yourself to no purpose. "
I believe the
232 HINDOO APOLOGUES.
" Dear me ! how very odd ! " gasped the crocodile ; and he was"so taken aback that he carried"the Jackal safe to shore.
Well, are you satisfied now ? asked the Partridge.
" My dear madam ! " quoth the Jackal, " you have made me
laugh, you have made me cry, you have given me a good din ner, and you have saved my life ; but upon my honor I think you are too clever for a friend : so, good-by ! "
And the Jackal never went near the Partridge again.
The Close Alliance,
a tale of woe.
One day a farmer went with his bullocks to plow his field. He had just turned the first furrow, when a tiger walked up to him, and said : " " Peace be with you, friend ! How are you this fine morning?
" The same to you, my lord, and I am pretty well, thank you ! " returned the farmer, quaking with fear, but thinking it wisest to be polite.
" I am glad to hear it," replied the tiger, cheerfully, " be cause Providence has sent me to eat your two bullocks. You are a God-fearing man, I know, so make haste and unyoke them. " "
" My friend, are you sure you are not making a mistake ? asked the farmer, whose courage had returned now that he knew it was merely a question of gobbling up bullocks ; " be cause Providence sent me to plow this field, and, in order to plow, one must have oxen.
Had you not better go and make further inquiries ? "
" There is no occasion for delay, and I should be sorry to keep you waiting," returned the tiger. " If you'll unyoke the bullocks, I'll be ready in a moment. " With that the savage creature fell to sharpening his teeth and claws in a very signifi cant manner.
But the farmer begged and prayed that his oxen might not be eaten, and promised that if the tiger would spare them he would give in exchange a fine, fat young milch cow, which his wife had tied up in the yard at home.
To this the tiger agreed, and, taking the oxen with him, the farmer went sadly homewards. Seeing him return so early from the fields, his wife, who was a stirring, busy woman, called out,
HINDOO APOLOGUES. 233
" What ! lazybones ! — back already, and my work just begin ning ! "
Then the farmer explained how he had met the tiger, and how to save the bullocks he had promised the milch cow in exchange. At this the wife began to cry, saying : " A likely story, indeed ! — saving your stupid old bullocks at the ex pense of my beautiful cow ! Where will the children get milk? and how can I cook my pottage and collops without butter ? "
" All very fine, wife," retorted the farmer ; " but how can we make bread without corn? and how can you have corn without bullocks to plow the fields ? Pottage and collops are very nice, but it is better to do without milk and butter than without bread, so make haste and untie the cow. "
"You great gaby ! " wept the wife, "if you had an ounce of sense in your brain, you'd think of some plan to get out of the scrape ! "
" Think yourself ! " cried the husband, in a rage.
"Very well ! " returned the wife ; "but if I do the think
I can't do both. Go back to the tiger, and tell him the cow wouldn't come along with you, but
ing, you must obey orders ;
that your wife is bringing it. "
The farmer, who was a great coward, didn't half like the
idea of going back empty-handed to the tiger, but as he could think of no other plan he did as he was bid, and found the beast still sharpening his teeth and claws for very hunger ; and when he heard he had to wait still longer for his dinner, he began to prowl about, and lash his tail and curl his whiskers in a most terrible manner, causing the poor farmer's knees to knock together with terror.
Now, when the farmer had left the house, his wife went to the stable and saddled the pony ; then she put on her husband's best clothes, tied the turban very high, so as to make her look as tall as possible, bestrode the pony, and set off to the field where the tiger was.
She rode along, swaggering and blustering, till she came to where the lane"turned into the field, and then she called out, as bold as brass, Now, please the powers ! I may find a tiger in this place ; for I haven't tasted tiger's meat since yesterday, when, as luck would have it, I ate three for breakfast. "
Hearing these words, and seeing the speaker ride boldly at him, the tiger became so alarmed that he turned tail and bolted into the forest, going away at such a headlong pace that he
234 HINDOO APOLOGUES.
nearly overturned his own jackal ; for tigers always have a jackal of their own, who, as it were, waits at table, and clears
away the bones. " " My lord ! my lord !
cried the jackal, " whither away so
fast? " " " Run ! run !
panted the tiger ; " there's the very devil of a horseman in yonder fields, who thinks nothing of eating
three tigers for breakfast ! "
At this the jackal sniggered in his sleeve. " My dear lord,"
said he, " the sun has dazzled your eyes ! That was no horse man, but only the farmer's wife dressed up as a man ! "
" Are you quite sure ? " asked the tiger, pausing.
"Quite sure, my lord," repeated the jackal ; "and if your lordship's eyes had not been dazzled by — ahem ! — the sun, your lordship would have seen her pigtail hanging down be hind. " "
" But you may be mistaken ! "itwastheverydevilofahorseman tolookat! "
" Who's afraid ? " replied the brave jackal. " Come, don't give up your dinner because of a woman ! "
" But you may be bribed to betray me ! " argued the tiger, who, like all cowards, was suspicious.
" Let us go together, then ! " returned the gallant jackal. "
" Nay ! but you may take me there and then run away ! insisted the tiger, cunningly.
"In that case, let us tie our tails together, and then I can't ! " The jackal, you see, was determined not to be done out of his bones.
To this the tiger agreed, and having tied their tails to gether in a reef knot, the pair set off arm in arm.
Now the farmer and his wife had remained in the field, laughing over the trick she had played on the tiger, when, lo and behold ! what should they see but the gallant pair coming back ever so bravely, with their tails tied together.
"Run ! " cried the farmer ; "we are lost"! we are lost ! "
" Nothing of the kind, you great gaby ! answered his wife, coolly ; " if you will" only stop that noise and be quiet. I can't hear myself speak !
Then she waited till the pair were within hail, when she called out politely : " How very kind of you, dear Mr. Jackal,
to bring me such a nice fat tiger !
finishing my share of him, and then you can have the bones. "
persisted the cowardly tiger ;
I shan't be a moment
HINDOO APOLOGUES. 235
At these words the tiger became wild with fright, and quite forgetting the jackal, and that reef knot in their tails, he bolted away full tilt, dragging the jackal behind him. Bumpety, bump, bump, over the stones ! — crash, scratch, patch, through the briers !
In vain the poor jackal howled and shrieked to the tiger to stop, — the noise behind him only frightened the coward more ; and away he went, helter-skelter, hurry-scurry, over hill and dale, till he was nearly dead with fatigue, and the jackal was quite dead from bumps and bruises.
Moral — Don't tie your tail to a coward's.
The Tiger, the Brahman, and the Jackal.
Once upon a time a tiger was caught in a trap. He tried in vain to get out through the bars, and rolled and bit with
rage and grief when he failed. " By chance a poor Brahman came by.
probably eat me if I did. "
"Not at all ! " swore the tiger, with many oaths ; "on the
Now when the tiger sobbed and sighed and wept and swore, the pious Brahman's heart softened, and at last he consented to open the door of the cage. Out popped the tiger, and, seizing the poor man, cried : "What a fool you are ! What is to pre vent my eating you now,"for after being cooped up so long I am just terribly hungry !
In vain the Brahman pleaded for his life ; the most he could gain was a promise to abide by the decision of the first three things he chose to question as to the justice of the tiger's action.
So the Brahman first asked a pipal tree what it thought of the matter, but the pipal tree replied coldly : " What have you to complain about? Don't I give shade and shelter to every one who passes by, and don't they in return tear down my branches to feed their cattle? Don't whimper — be a man ! "
Then the Brahman, sad at heart, went farther afield till he
cage, O pious one ! " cried the tiger.
" Nay, my friend," replied the Brahman, mildly, " you would
contrary, I should be forever grateful, and serve you as a slave ! "
Let me out of this
236 HINDOO APOLOGUES.
saw a buffalo turning a well wheel ; but he fared no better
from for answered Look at me While and oil cake, but now refuse as fodder "
" You are fool to expect gratitude gave milk they fed me on cotton seed am dry they yoke me here, and give me
The Brahman, still more sad, asked the road to give him its opinion.
"My dear sir," said the road, "how foolish you are to
expect anything else Here am useful to everybody, yet all,
rich and poor, great and small, trample on me as they go past,
giving me nothing but the ashes of their pipes and the husks
"
of their grain
On this the Brahman turned back sorrowfully, and on the
way he met jackal, who called out " Why, what's the matter, Mr. Brahman? You look as miserable as fish out of water " Then the Brahman told him all that had occurred. " How
very confusing " said the jackal, when the recital was ended
" would you mind telling me over again for everything seems so mixed up "
The Brahman told all over again, but the jackal shook his head in distracted sort of way, and still could not under stand.
" It's very odd," said he, sadly, " but all seems to go in at one ear and out at the other will go to the place where
all happened, and then perhaps shall be able to give judg ment. "
So they returned to the cage, by which the tiger was wait ing for the Brahman, and sharpening his teeth and claws.
"You've been away long time " growled the savage beast, "but now let us begin our dinner. "
"Our dinner " thought the wretched Brahman, as his knees knocked together with fright "what remarkably delicate way of putting "
" Give me five minutes, my lord " he pleaded, " in order that may explain matters to the jackal here, who somewhat slow in his wits. "
The tiger consented, and the Brahman began the whole story over again, not missing single detail, and spinning as
long yarn as possible.
" Oh, my poor brain oh, my poor brain
"
cried the jackal,
wringing his paws. " Let me see how did were in the cage, and the tiger came walking by
all begin You
"
it !
a
I
it, a! a ! it
!
a
a is
? a
!
!
! it :
a !
! II
I :
it a !
;!
?
a
it
!
!
!
it; !
!
II
HINDOO APOLOGUES. I 237
" Pooh ! " interrupted the tiger, " what a fool you are ! was in the cage. "
I was in the cage fright; "yes! —
" Of course ! " cried the jackal, pretending to tremble with
—
where are my wits ? Let me see — the tiger was in the Brah
man, and the cage came walking by — no, that's not it either ! Well, don't mind me, but begin your dinner, for I shall never understand ! "
Look here —
"Yes, my lord ! "
" And that is the Brahman
"Yes, my lord! "
" And that is the cage
"Yes, my lord ! "
"And I was in the cage — do you understand? " "Yes—no— Please, mylord "
" Well ? " cried the tiger, impatiently.
"Please, my lord ! —how did you get in? "
"How ! —why, in the usual way, of course ! "
"Oh, dear me! — my head is beginning to whirl again!
" Yes, you shall ! " returned the tiger, in a rage at the
jackal's stupidity : " I'll make you understand ! I am the tiger "
" "
no, I wasn't
dear ! dear !
Please don't be angry, my lord, but what is the usual way ? " At this the tiger lost patience, and, jumping into the cage,
cried, " This way ! Now do you understand how it was ? "
" Perfectly ! " grinned the jackal, as he dexterously shut the door ; " and if you will permit me to say so, I think
matters will remain as they were ! "
The Barber's Clever Wife.
Once upon a time there lived a barber, who was such a poor silly creature that he couldn't even ply his trade decently, but snipped off his customers' ears instead of their hair, and cut their throats instead of shaving them. So of course he grew poorer every day, till at last he found himself with nothing left in his house but his wife and his razor, both of whom were as sharp as sharp could be.
For his wife was an exceedingly clever person, who was continually rating her husband for his stupidity; and when she saw they hadn't a farthing left, she fell as usual to scolding.
238 HINDOO APOLOGUES.
But the barber took it very"calmly. " What is the use of making such a fuss, my dear ? said he ; " you've told me all
this before, and I quite agree with you. I never diI
never could work, and I never will work. That is the fact ! "
" Then you must beg ! " returned his wife, " for
starve to please you ! Go to the palace and beg something of the King. There is a wedding feast going on, and he is sure to give alms to the poor. " "
" Very well, my dear ! said the barber, submissively. He was rather afraid of his clever wife, so he did as he was bid, and going to the palace, begged of the King to give him something. "
asked the King ; " what thing? "
Now the barber's wife had not mentioned anything in par ticular, and the barber was far too addle-pated to think of any
" Something?
thing by himself, so he answered cautiously, " Oh, something ! " " "Will a piece of land do ? " said the King.
Whereupon the lazy barber, glad to be helped out of the
d work, I
will not
difficulty, remarked that perhaps a piece of land would do as well as anything else.
Then the King ordered a piece of waste outside the city should be given to the barber, who went home quite satisfied.
"Well! what did you get? " asked the clever wife, who was waiting impatiently for his return. " Give it me quick, that Imay go and buy bread ! "
And you may imagine how she scolded when she found he had only got a piece of waste land.
" But land is land ! " remonstrated the barber ; " it can't run away, so we must always have something now ! "
"Was there ever such a dunderhead? " raged the clever wife. " What good is ground unless we can till it ? and where are we to get bullocks and plows ? "
But being, as we have said, an exceedingly clever person, she set her wits to work, and soon thought of a plan whereby to make the best of a bad bargain.
She took her husband with her, and set off to the piece of waste land ; then, bidding her husband imitate her, she began walking about the field, and peering anxiously into the ground. But when anybody came that way, she would sit down and pretend to be doing nothing at all.
Now it so happened that seven thieves were hiding in a thicket hard by, and they watched the barber and his wife
HINDOO APOLOGUES. 239
all day, until they became convinced something mysterious was going on. So at sunset they sent one of their number to try and"find out what it was.
Well, the fact is," said the barber's wife, after beating about the bush for some time, and with many injunctions to strict secrecy, "this field belonged to my grandfather, who buried five pots full of gold in it, and we were just trying to discover the exact spot " before beginning to dig. You won't tell any one, will you ?
The thief promised he wouldn't, of course, but the moment the barber and his wife went home, he called his companions, and telling them of the hidden treasure, set them to work. All night long they dug and delved, till the field looked as if it had been plowed seven times over, and they were as tired as tired could be ; but never a gold piece, nor a silver piece, nor a farthing did they find, so when dawn came they went away disgusted.
The barber's wife, when she found the field so beautifully plowed, laughed heartily at the success of her stratagem, and going to the corn dealer's shop, borrowed some rice to sow in the field. This the corn dealer willingly gave her, for he reckoned he would get it back threefold at harvest time. And so he did, for never was there such a crop ! — the barber's wife paid her debts, kept enough for the house, and sold the rest for a great crock of gold pieces.
Yudhisthira — He is to be called learned who knoweth his duties. An atheist is he who is ignorant, and he who is igno rant is an atheist. Desire is due to objects of possession. And envy is nothing else than grief of heart.
The Yaksha — What is pride, and what hypocrisy ? What is the grace of the gods, and what is wickedness ?
Yudhisthira — Stolid ignorance is pride ; the setting up of a religious standard is hypocrisy. The grace of the gods is the fruit of our gifts ; and wickedness consists in speaking ill of others. —
Yudhisthira When a wife and virtue agree with each other, then all the three thou hast mentioned may exist together. The Yaksha — O bull of the Bharata race, who is he that is
condemned to everlasting hell ?
Yudhisthira — He that summoneth a poor Brahmana, prom~
Virtue, profit, and desire are opposed to one
The Yaksha
another. How could things thus antagonistic to one another exist together ? —
226 A HINDOO CATECHISM.
ising to make him a gift, and then tells him that he hath noth ing to give, goeth to everlasting hell. He also must go to everlasting hell who imputes falsehood to the Vedas, the Scriptures, the Brahmanas, the gods, and the ceremonies in honor of the Pitris. He also goeth to everlasting hell who, though in possession of wealth, never giveth away nor enjoyeth himself, from avarice, saying he hath none.
The Yaksha — By what, O king, — birth, behavior, study, or learning, — doth a person become a Brahmana ? Tell us with certitude !
Yudhhthira — Listen, O Yaksha ! It is neither birth nor study nor learning that is the cause of Brahmanhood. With out doubt, it is behavior that constitutes it. One's behavior should always be well guarded, especially by a Brahmana. He who maintains his conduct unimpaired is never impaired him self. He, however, whose conduct is lost is lost himself. Pro fessors and pupils, — all who study the Scriptures, in fact, — if addicted to wicked habits, are to be regarded as illiterate wretches. He only is learned who performeth his religious duties. He even that hath studied the four Vedas is to be regarded as a wicked wretch, scarcely distinguishable from a Sudra, if his conduct be not correct. He only who performeth the Agni-Votra and hath his senses under control is called a Brahmana. —
The Yaksha — Who is truly happy ? What is most wonder ful? What is the path? And what is the news ?
Yudhisthira — A man who cooketh in his own house scanty vegetables on the fifth or the sixth day, but who is not in debt and who stirreth not from home, is truly happy. Day after day countless beings are going to the abode of Yama (the god of death), yet those that remain behind believe themselves to be immortal. What can be more wonderful than this ? Argu ment leads to no certain conclusion ; the Crutis are different
What doth one gain that speaketh agreeably?
The Yaksha
What doth he gain that always acteth with judgment ? What doth he gain that hath many friends? And what he that is devoted to virtue ?
Yudhisthira — He that speaketh agreeable words becometh agreeable to all. He that acteth with judgment obtaineth what ever he seeketh. He that hath many friends liveth happily. And he that is devoted to virtue obtaineth a happy state in the next world.
HINDOO APOLOGUES. 227
from one another ; there is not even one Rishi whose opinion can be accepted as infallible ; the truth about religion and duty is hid in caves : therefore, that alone is the path along which the great have trod. This world, full of ignorance, is like a pan. The sun is fire ; the days and nights are fuel. The months and the seasons constitute the wooden ladle. Time is the cook, that with such aids is cooking all creatures in that pan : this is the news.
The Yaksha — Thou hast, O represser of foes, truly an swered all my questions ! Tell us now who is truly a man, and what man truly possesseth every kind of wealth.
Yudhisthira — The report of one's good action reacheth heaven and spreadeth over the earth. As long as that report lasteth, so long is a person called a man. And that person to whom the agreeable and the disagreeable, weal and woe, the past and the future, are the same, is said to possess every kind of wealth.
HINDOO APOLOGUES.
(From "Tales of the Punjab," edited by Flora Annie Steel. ) The Jackal and the Iguana.
One moonlight night, a miserable, half-starved jackal, skulk ing through the village, found a worn-out pair of shoes in the gutter. They were too tough for him to eat, so, determined to make some use of them, he strung them to his ears like ear rings, and, going down to the edge of the pond, gathered all the old bones he could find together, and built a platform with them, plastering it over with mud.
On this he sat in a dignified attitude, and when any ani mal came to the pond to drink, he cried out in a loud voice : " Hi ! stop ! You must not taste a drop till you have done homage to me. So repeat these verses, which I have composed in honor of the occasion, —
" Silver is his dais, plastered o'er with gold ;
In his ears are jewels — some prince I must behold! "
Now, as most of the animals were very thirsty, and in a great hurry to drink, they did not care to dispute the matter, but gabbled off the words without a second thought. Even the royal tiger, treating it as a jest, repeated the jackal's rhyme, in consequence of which the latter became quite cock-a-hoop,
228 HINDOO APOLOGUES.
and really began to believe he was a personage of great importance.
By and by an iguana, or big lizard, came waddling and wheezing down to the water, looking for all the world like a baby alligator. "
" Hi ! you there ! sang out the jackal : " you mustn't drink until you have said, —
" Silver is his dais, plastered o'er with gold ;
In his ears are jewels — some prince I must behold ! "
" Pouf ! pouf ! pouf ! " gasped the iguana. " Mercy on us, how dry my throat is ! Mightn't I have just a wee sip of water first? and then I could do justice to your admirable lines; at present I am as hoarse as a crow ! "
" By all means ! " replied the jackal, with a gratified smirk. " I flatter myself the verses are good, especially when well recited. "
So the iguana, nose down into the water, drank away, until the jackal began to think he would never leave off, and was quite taken aback when he finally came to an end of his draught, and began to move away.
" Hi"! hi ! " cried the jackal, recovering his presence of mind ; stop a bit and say, —
" Silver is his dais, plastered o'er with gold ;
In his ears are jewels — some prince I must behold! "
" Dear me ! " replied the iguana, politely, " I was very nearly forgetting ! Let me see — I must try my voice first — do, re, me, fa, sol, la, si, — that is right ! Now, how does it
run? "" Silver is his dais, plastered o'er with gold ;
In his ears are jewels — some prince I must behold ! "
repeated the jackal, not observing that the lizard was carefully edging farther and farther away. I think I could say
" Exactly so," returned the iguana ; "
that ! " Whereupon he sang out at the top of his voice, —
" Bones make up his dais, with mud it's plastered o'er, " Old shoes are his ear drops : a jackal, nothing more !
And turning round, he bolted for his hole as hard as he could.
HINDOO APOLOGUES.
229
The jackal could scarcely believe his ears, and sat dumb with astonishment. Then, rage lending him wings, he flew after the lizard, who, despite his short legs and scanty breath, put his best foot foremost, and scuttled away at a great rate.
It was a near race, however, for just as he popped into his hole the jackal caught him by the tail and held on. Then it was a case of " pull butcher, pull baker," until the lizard made certain his tail must come off, and the jackal felt as if his front teeth would come out. Still not an inch did either budge, one way or the other, and there they might have remained till the present day had not the iguana called out, in his sweetest tones : " Friend, I give in ! Just leave hold of my tail, will you ? Then I can turn round and come out. "
Whereupon the jackal let go, and the tail disappeared up the hole in a twinkling ; while all the reward the jackal got for digging away until his nails were nearly worn out was hearing the iguana sing softly, —
" Bones make up his dais, with mud it's plastered o'er, " Old shoes are his ear drops : a jackal, nothing more !
The Jackal and the Partridge.
A Jackal and a Partridge swore eternal friendship ; but the Jackal was very exacting and jealous. " You don't do half as much for me as Ido for you," he used to say, "and yet you talk a great deal of your friendship. Now my idea of a friend is one who is able to make me laugh or cry, give me a good meal, or save my life if need be. You couldn't do that ! "
" Let us see," answered the Partridge ; " follow me at a little distance, and if I don't make you laugh soon you may eat me ! "
So she flew on till she met two travelers trudging along, one behind the other. They were both footsore and weary, and the first carried his bundle on a stick over his shoulder, while the second had his shoes in his hand.
Lightly as a feather the Partridge settled on the first trav eler's stick. He, none the wiser, trudged on ; but the second traveler, seeing the bird sitting so tamely just in front of his nose, said to himself, " What a chance for a supper ! " and immediately flung his shoes at it, they being ready to hand. Whereupon the Partridge flew away, and the shoes knocked off the first traveler's turban.
230
HINDOO APOLOGUES.
" What a plague do you mean ? " cried he, angrily turning on his companion. "Why did you throw your shoes at my
head? " " " Brother !
replied the other, mildly, " do not be vexed. I didn't throw them at you, but at a Partridge that was sitting
on your stick. " " "On my stick ! Do you take me for a fool?
shouted the injured man, in a great rage. " Don't tell me such cock-and-
bull stories. First you insult me,"and then you lie like a cow ard ; but I'll teach you manners !
Then he fell upon his fellow-traveler without more ado, and they fought until they could not see out of their eyes, till their noses were bleeding, their clothes in rags, and the Jackal had nearly died of laughing. "
" Are you satisfied ? asked the Partridge of her friend.
"Well," answered the Jackal, "you have certainly made me laugh, but I doubt if you could make me cry. It is easy enough to be a buffoon ; it is more difficult to excite the higher emotions. "
" Let us see," retorted the Partridge, somewhat piqued ; "there is a huntsman with his dogs coming along the road. Just creep into that hollow tree and watch me ; if you don't weep scalding tears, you must have no feeling in you ! "
The Jackal did as he was bid, and watched the Partridge, who began fluttering about the bushes till the dogs caught sight of her, when she flew to the hollow tree where the Jackal was hidden. Of course the dogs smelt him at once, and set up such a yelping and scratching that the huntsman came up, and see ing what it was, dragged the Jackal out by the tail. Where upon the dogs worried him to their hearts' content, and finally left him for dead. — —
By and by he opened his eyes for he was only foxing and saw the Partridge sitting on a branch above him.
" Did you cry ? " she asked anxiously. " Did I rouse your higher emo "
" Be quiet, will you ! " snarled the Jackal ; " I'm half dead with fear ! "
So there the Jackal lay for some time, getting the better of his bruises, and meanwhile he became" hungry.
" Now is the time for friendship ! said he to the Partridge. " Get me a good dinner, and I will acknowledge you are a true friend. "
HINDOO APOLOGUES. 231
" Very well ! " replied the Partridge ; " only watch me, and help yourself when the time comes. "
Just then a troop of women came by, carrying their hus bands' dinners to the harvest field.
The Partridge gave a little plaintive cry, and began flutter ing along from bush to bush as if she were wounded.
" A wounded bird ! — a wounded bird ! " cried the women ; " we can easily catch it ! "
Whereupon they set off in pursuit, but the cunning Par tridge played a thousand tricks, till they became so excited over the chase that they put their bundles on the ground in order to pursue it more nimbly. The Jackal, meanwhile, seiz ing his opportunity, crept up, and made off with a good dinner.
" Well," returned the Jackal, " I confess you have given me a very good dinner ; you have also made me laugh — and cry — ahem ! But, after all, the great test of friendship is beyond you — you couldn't save my life ! "
"Are you satisfied now? " asked the Partridge.
" Perhaps not," acquiesced the Partridge, mournfully, " I am so small and weak. But it grows late — we should be going home ; and as it is a long way round by the ford, let us go across the river. My friend the crocodile will carry us over. "
Accordingly, they set off for the river, and the crocodile kindly consented to carry them across ; so they sat on his broad back, and he ferried them over. But just as they were in the
middle of the stream the Partridge remarked : "
crocodile intends to play us a trick. How awkward if he were to drop you into the water ! "
" Awkward for you, too ! " replied the Jackal, turning pale.
I have wings, you haven't. "
On this the Jackal shivered and shook with fear, and when the crocodile, in a grewsome growl, remarked that he was
"Notatall! notatall!
hungry and wanted a good meal, the wretched creature hadn't a word to say.
" Pooh ! " cried the Partridge, airily, " don't try tricks on us — I should fly away, and as for my friend the Jackal, you couldn't hurt him. He is not such a fool as to take his life with him on these little excursions ; he leaves it at home locked up in the cupboard. "
"Is that a fact? " asked the crocodile, surprised.
" Certainly ! " retorted the Partridge. " Try to eat him if you like, but you will only tire yourself to no purpose. "
I believe the
232 HINDOO APOLOGUES.
" Dear me ! how very odd ! " gasped the crocodile ; and he was"so taken aback that he carried"the Jackal safe to shore.
Well, are you satisfied now ? asked the Partridge.
" My dear madam ! " quoth the Jackal, " you have made me
laugh, you have made me cry, you have given me a good din ner, and you have saved my life ; but upon my honor I think you are too clever for a friend : so, good-by ! "
And the Jackal never went near the Partridge again.
The Close Alliance,
a tale of woe.
One day a farmer went with his bullocks to plow his field. He had just turned the first furrow, when a tiger walked up to him, and said : " " Peace be with you, friend ! How are you this fine morning?
" The same to you, my lord, and I am pretty well, thank you ! " returned the farmer, quaking with fear, but thinking it wisest to be polite.
" I am glad to hear it," replied the tiger, cheerfully, " be cause Providence has sent me to eat your two bullocks. You are a God-fearing man, I know, so make haste and unyoke them. " "
" My friend, are you sure you are not making a mistake ? asked the farmer, whose courage had returned now that he knew it was merely a question of gobbling up bullocks ; " be cause Providence sent me to plow this field, and, in order to plow, one must have oxen.
Had you not better go and make further inquiries ? "
" There is no occasion for delay, and I should be sorry to keep you waiting," returned the tiger. " If you'll unyoke the bullocks, I'll be ready in a moment. " With that the savage creature fell to sharpening his teeth and claws in a very signifi cant manner.
But the farmer begged and prayed that his oxen might not be eaten, and promised that if the tiger would spare them he would give in exchange a fine, fat young milch cow, which his wife had tied up in the yard at home.
To this the tiger agreed, and, taking the oxen with him, the farmer went sadly homewards. Seeing him return so early from the fields, his wife, who was a stirring, busy woman, called out,
HINDOO APOLOGUES. 233
" What ! lazybones ! — back already, and my work just begin ning ! "
Then the farmer explained how he had met the tiger, and how to save the bullocks he had promised the milch cow in exchange. At this the wife began to cry, saying : " A likely story, indeed ! — saving your stupid old bullocks at the ex pense of my beautiful cow ! Where will the children get milk? and how can I cook my pottage and collops without butter ? "
" All very fine, wife," retorted the farmer ; " but how can we make bread without corn? and how can you have corn without bullocks to plow the fields ? Pottage and collops are very nice, but it is better to do without milk and butter than without bread, so make haste and untie the cow. "
"You great gaby ! " wept the wife, "if you had an ounce of sense in your brain, you'd think of some plan to get out of the scrape ! "
" Think yourself ! " cried the husband, in a rage.
"Very well ! " returned the wife ; "but if I do the think
I can't do both. Go back to the tiger, and tell him the cow wouldn't come along with you, but
ing, you must obey orders ;
that your wife is bringing it. "
The farmer, who was a great coward, didn't half like the
idea of going back empty-handed to the tiger, but as he could think of no other plan he did as he was bid, and found the beast still sharpening his teeth and claws for very hunger ; and when he heard he had to wait still longer for his dinner, he began to prowl about, and lash his tail and curl his whiskers in a most terrible manner, causing the poor farmer's knees to knock together with terror.
Now, when the farmer had left the house, his wife went to the stable and saddled the pony ; then she put on her husband's best clothes, tied the turban very high, so as to make her look as tall as possible, bestrode the pony, and set off to the field where the tiger was.
She rode along, swaggering and blustering, till she came to where the lane"turned into the field, and then she called out, as bold as brass, Now, please the powers ! I may find a tiger in this place ; for I haven't tasted tiger's meat since yesterday, when, as luck would have it, I ate three for breakfast. "
Hearing these words, and seeing the speaker ride boldly at him, the tiger became so alarmed that he turned tail and bolted into the forest, going away at such a headlong pace that he
234 HINDOO APOLOGUES.
nearly overturned his own jackal ; for tigers always have a jackal of their own, who, as it were, waits at table, and clears
away the bones. " " My lord ! my lord !
cried the jackal, " whither away so
fast? " " " Run ! run !
panted the tiger ; " there's the very devil of a horseman in yonder fields, who thinks nothing of eating
three tigers for breakfast ! "
At this the jackal sniggered in his sleeve. " My dear lord,"
said he, " the sun has dazzled your eyes ! That was no horse man, but only the farmer's wife dressed up as a man ! "
" Are you quite sure ? " asked the tiger, pausing.
"Quite sure, my lord," repeated the jackal ; "and if your lordship's eyes had not been dazzled by — ahem ! — the sun, your lordship would have seen her pigtail hanging down be hind. " "
" But you may be mistaken ! "itwastheverydevilofahorseman tolookat! "
" Who's afraid ? " replied the brave jackal. " Come, don't give up your dinner because of a woman ! "
" But you may be bribed to betray me ! " argued the tiger, who, like all cowards, was suspicious.
" Let us go together, then ! " returned the gallant jackal. "
" Nay ! but you may take me there and then run away ! insisted the tiger, cunningly.
"In that case, let us tie our tails together, and then I can't ! " The jackal, you see, was determined not to be done out of his bones.
To this the tiger agreed, and having tied their tails to gether in a reef knot, the pair set off arm in arm.
Now the farmer and his wife had remained in the field, laughing over the trick she had played on the tiger, when, lo and behold ! what should they see but the gallant pair coming back ever so bravely, with their tails tied together.
"Run ! " cried the farmer ; "we are lost"! we are lost ! "
" Nothing of the kind, you great gaby ! answered his wife, coolly ; " if you will" only stop that noise and be quiet. I can't hear myself speak !
Then she waited till the pair were within hail, when she called out politely : " How very kind of you, dear Mr. Jackal,
to bring me such a nice fat tiger !
finishing my share of him, and then you can have the bones. "
persisted the cowardly tiger ;
I shan't be a moment
HINDOO APOLOGUES. 235
At these words the tiger became wild with fright, and quite forgetting the jackal, and that reef knot in their tails, he bolted away full tilt, dragging the jackal behind him. Bumpety, bump, bump, over the stones ! — crash, scratch, patch, through the briers !
In vain the poor jackal howled and shrieked to the tiger to stop, — the noise behind him only frightened the coward more ; and away he went, helter-skelter, hurry-scurry, over hill and dale, till he was nearly dead with fatigue, and the jackal was quite dead from bumps and bruises.
Moral — Don't tie your tail to a coward's.
The Tiger, the Brahman, and the Jackal.
Once upon a time a tiger was caught in a trap. He tried in vain to get out through the bars, and rolled and bit with
rage and grief when he failed. " By chance a poor Brahman came by.
probably eat me if I did. "
"Not at all ! " swore the tiger, with many oaths ; "on the
Now when the tiger sobbed and sighed and wept and swore, the pious Brahman's heart softened, and at last he consented to open the door of the cage. Out popped the tiger, and, seizing the poor man, cried : "What a fool you are ! What is to pre vent my eating you now,"for after being cooped up so long I am just terribly hungry !
In vain the Brahman pleaded for his life ; the most he could gain was a promise to abide by the decision of the first three things he chose to question as to the justice of the tiger's action.
So the Brahman first asked a pipal tree what it thought of the matter, but the pipal tree replied coldly : " What have you to complain about? Don't I give shade and shelter to every one who passes by, and don't they in return tear down my branches to feed their cattle? Don't whimper — be a man ! "
Then the Brahman, sad at heart, went farther afield till he
cage, O pious one ! " cried the tiger.
" Nay, my friend," replied the Brahman, mildly, " you would
contrary, I should be forever grateful, and serve you as a slave ! "
Let me out of this
236 HINDOO APOLOGUES.
saw a buffalo turning a well wheel ; but he fared no better
from for answered Look at me While and oil cake, but now refuse as fodder "
" You are fool to expect gratitude gave milk they fed me on cotton seed am dry they yoke me here, and give me
The Brahman, still more sad, asked the road to give him its opinion.
"My dear sir," said the road, "how foolish you are to
expect anything else Here am useful to everybody, yet all,
rich and poor, great and small, trample on me as they go past,
giving me nothing but the ashes of their pipes and the husks
"
of their grain
On this the Brahman turned back sorrowfully, and on the
way he met jackal, who called out " Why, what's the matter, Mr. Brahman? You look as miserable as fish out of water " Then the Brahman told him all that had occurred. " How
very confusing " said the jackal, when the recital was ended
" would you mind telling me over again for everything seems so mixed up "
The Brahman told all over again, but the jackal shook his head in distracted sort of way, and still could not under stand.
" It's very odd," said he, sadly, " but all seems to go in at one ear and out at the other will go to the place where
all happened, and then perhaps shall be able to give judg ment. "
So they returned to the cage, by which the tiger was wait ing for the Brahman, and sharpening his teeth and claws.
"You've been away long time " growled the savage beast, "but now let us begin our dinner. "
"Our dinner " thought the wretched Brahman, as his knees knocked together with fright "what remarkably delicate way of putting "
" Give me five minutes, my lord " he pleaded, " in order that may explain matters to the jackal here, who somewhat slow in his wits. "
The tiger consented, and the Brahman began the whole story over again, not missing single detail, and spinning as
long yarn as possible.
" Oh, my poor brain oh, my poor brain
"
cried the jackal,
wringing his paws. " Let me see how did were in the cage, and the tiger came walking by
all begin You
"
it !
a
I
it, a! a ! it
!
a
a is
? a
!
!
! it :
a !
! II
I :
it a !
;!
?
a
it
!
!
!
it; !
!
II
HINDOO APOLOGUES. I 237
" Pooh ! " interrupted the tiger, " what a fool you are ! was in the cage. "
I was in the cage fright; "yes! —
" Of course ! " cried the jackal, pretending to tremble with
—
where are my wits ? Let me see — the tiger was in the Brah
man, and the cage came walking by — no, that's not it either ! Well, don't mind me, but begin your dinner, for I shall never understand ! "
Look here —
"Yes, my lord ! "
" And that is the Brahman
"Yes, my lord! "
" And that is the cage
"Yes, my lord ! "
"And I was in the cage — do you understand? " "Yes—no— Please, mylord "
" Well ? " cried the tiger, impatiently.
"Please, my lord ! —how did you get in? "
"How ! —why, in the usual way, of course ! "
"Oh, dear me! — my head is beginning to whirl again!
" Yes, you shall ! " returned the tiger, in a rage at the
jackal's stupidity : " I'll make you understand ! I am the tiger "
" "
no, I wasn't
dear ! dear !
Please don't be angry, my lord, but what is the usual way ? " At this the tiger lost patience, and, jumping into the cage,
cried, " This way ! Now do you understand how it was ? "
" Perfectly ! " grinned the jackal, as he dexterously shut the door ; " and if you will permit me to say so, I think
matters will remain as they were ! "
The Barber's Clever Wife.
Once upon a time there lived a barber, who was such a poor silly creature that he couldn't even ply his trade decently, but snipped off his customers' ears instead of their hair, and cut their throats instead of shaving them. So of course he grew poorer every day, till at last he found himself with nothing left in his house but his wife and his razor, both of whom were as sharp as sharp could be.
For his wife was an exceedingly clever person, who was continually rating her husband for his stupidity; and when she saw they hadn't a farthing left, she fell as usual to scolding.
238 HINDOO APOLOGUES.
But the barber took it very"calmly. " What is the use of making such a fuss, my dear ? said he ; " you've told me all
this before, and I quite agree with you. I never diI
never could work, and I never will work. That is the fact ! "
" Then you must beg ! " returned his wife, " for
starve to please you ! Go to the palace and beg something of the King. There is a wedding feast going on, and he is sure to give alms to the poor. " "
" Very well, my dear ! said the barber, submissively. He was rather afraid of his clever wife, so he did as he was bid, and going to the palace, begged of the King to give him something. "
asked the King ; " what thing? "
Now the barber's wife had not mentioned anything in par ticular, and the barber was far too addle-pated to think of any
" Something?
thing by himself, so he answered cautiously, " Oh, something ! " " "Will a piece of land do ? " said the King.
Whereupon the lazy barber, glad to be helped out of the
d work, I
will not
difficulty, remarked that perhaps a piece of land would do as well as anything else.
Then the King ordered a piece of waste outside the city should be given to the barber, who went home quite satisfied.
"Well! what did you get? " asked the clever wife, who was waiting impatiently for his return. " Give it me quick, that Imay go and buy bread ! "
And you may imagine how she scolded when she found he had only got a piece of waste land.
" But land is land ! " remonstrated the barber ; " it can't run away, so we must always have something now ! "
"Was there ever such a dunderhead? " raged the clever wife. " What good is ground unless we can till it ? and where are we to get bullocks and plows ? "
But being, as we have said, an exceedingly clever person, she set her wits to work, and soon thought of a plan whereby to make the best of a bad bargain.
She took her husband with her, and set off to the piece of waste land ; then, bidding her husband imitate her, she began walking about the field, and peering anxiously into the ground. But when anybody came that way, she would sit down and pretend to be doing nothing at all.
Now it so happened that seven thieves were hiding in a thicket hard by, and they watched the barber and his wife
HINDOO APOLOGUES. 239
all day, until they became convinced something mysterious was going on. So at sunset they sent one of their number to try and"find out what it was.
Well, the fact is," said the barber's wife, after beating about the bush for some time, and with many injunctions to strict secrecy, "this field belonged to my grandfather, who buried five pots full of gold in it, and we were just trying to discover the exact spot " before beginning to dig. You won't tell any one, will you ?
The thief promised he wouldn't, of course, but the moment the barber and his wife went home, he called his companions, and telling them of the hidden treasure, set them to work. All night long they dug and delved, till the field looked as if it had been plowed seven times over, and they were as tired as tired could be ; but never a gold piece, nor a silver piece, nor a farthing did they find, so when dawn came they went away disgusted.
The barber's wife, when she found the field so beautifully plowed, laughed heartily at the success of her stratagem, and going to the corn dealer's shop, borrowed some rice to sow in the field. This the corn dealer willingly gave her, for he reckoned he would get it back threefold at harvest time. And so he did, for never was there such a crop ! — the barber's wife paid her debts, kept enough for the house, and sold the rest for a great crock of gold pieces.
