No More Learning

The series reached its climax in A Modest Proposal for pre-
venting the children of poor people from being a burden to
their parents or the country, and for making them beneficial to
the public (1729), in which, with terrible irony and bitterness,
Swift suggested, in a spirit of despair at the helplessness of
Ireland, that the poverty of the people should be relieved by
the sale of their children as food for the rich. With the utmost
gravity, he sets out statistics to show the revenue that would
accrue if this idea were adopted. It would give the people some-
thing valuable of their own, and thus help to pay their landlord's
rent; it would save the cost of maintaining very many children;
it would lead to a lessening of the number of papists; it would
be a great inducement to marriage. The remedy, Swift took care
to point out, was only for the kingdom of Ireland, “and for no
other that ever was, is, or, I think, ever can be upon earth';
and it did not involve any danger of disobliging England, ‘for
this kind of commodity will not bear exportation. ' The suggestion
was quite disinterested. 'I have no children by which I can pro-
pose to get a single penny, the youngest being nine years old, and
my wife past child-bearing. '
In An Examination of certain Abuses, Corruptions and
Enormities in the City of Dublin (1732), Swift, writing as a
whig, burlesqued the fashion of charging tories with being in
sympathy with papists and Jacobites, and of finding cause for
suspecting disaffection in the most unexpected quarters. Under
the guise of an attack on the earl of Oxford, he charged Walpole
with avarice, obscurity of birth and profligacy.
One more pamphlet was published in 1733, A serious and
useful scheme to make a hospital for Incurables, in which Swift
dwelt on the necessity of dealing with the number of fools, knaves,
scolds, scribblers, infidels and liars, not to mention the incurably
vain, proud, affected and ten thousand others beyond cure. He
hoped that he would himself be admitted on the foundation as
one of the scribbling incurables; he was happy to feel that no
person would be offended by his scheme, 'because it is natural
to apply ridiculous characters to all the world, except ourselves. '


## p. 118 (#142) ############################################

118
Swift
On literary subjects, Swift wrote little. In 1712, he published
his Proposal for correcting, improving and ascertaining the
English Tongue, in the form of a letter to Harley. In this tract,
to which he allowed his name to be affixed, he urged the formation
of an academy, which was to fix a standard for the language.
New words, abbreviations, slang, affectation, phonetic spelling -
of all these Swift complained, and he thought that an academy
could stop improprieties, and find a way for 'ascertaining and
fixing our language for ever. Some time before, he had written
to the same effect in no. 230 of The Tatler, ‘by the hands,' as
he says, 'of an ingenious gentleman (Steele), who, for a long time,
did thrice a week direct or instruct the kingdom by his papers. '
There, he pleaded for the observance in our style of that simplicity
which is the best and truest ornament of most things in life. ' He
ended his Proposal by urging that, in England, as in France, the
endowments of the mind should occasionally be rewarded, either
by a pension or, where that was unnecessary, by some mark of
distinction.
Nine years later, Swift published in Dublin an amusing satire,
A Letter of Advice to a young Poet ; together with a Proposal
for the encouragement of Poetry in this Kingdom (1721). The
professional poet, he says, would be embarrassed if he had any
religion, for poetry, of late, had been 'altogether disengaged from
the narrow notions of virtue and piety. But the poet must be
conversant with the Scriptures, in order to be 'witty upon them
or out of them. Scholarship was now quite unnecessary to the
poet; and, if we look back, Shakespeare ‘was no scholar, yet was
an excellent poet. ' Swift was for every man's working upon his
own materials, and producing only what he can find within him-
self. Taking part in games will often suggest similes, images or
rimes : and coffeehouse and theatre must be frequented. The
profession was in a sorry plight in Dublin, though poetic wit
abounded. The city had no Grub street, set apart as a safe
repository for poetry, and there was much need for a playhouse,
where the young could get rid of the natural prejudices of religion
and modesty, great restraints to a free people.
In the rather patronising Letter to a very young Lady on her
Marriage (1727), Swift advises his friend to listen to the talk of
men of learning; it is a shame for an English lady not to be able
to relish such discourses, but few gentlemen's daughters could be
brought to read or understand their own native tongue; they
could not even be brought to spell correctly. Elsewhere, Swift


## p. 119 (#143) ############################################

His Poetry
119
combated the general view that it was not prudent to choose a
wife with some taste of wit and humour, able to relish history and
to be a tolerable judge of the beauties of poetry. There were,
however, so few women of this kind that half the well educated
nobility and gentry must, if they married, take a wife for whom
they could not possibly have any esteem.
Swift's poetry has the merits of his prose, but not many other
merits. He began by writing frigid 'Pindaric' odes, after the
fashion of Cowley, and, from his letters, we know that he set con-
siderable value on them, and that they underwent much revision? .
But Dryden was right when, after perusing some of these verses,
he said, 'Cousin Swift, you will never be a poet. ' This comment
caused much annoyance to Swift, as we may conclude from the
hostile references to Dryden in several of his writings. It was,
how-
ever, taken to heart; for he produced no more stilted odes, but, in
future, confined himself to lighter verse, modelled on Butler, and
generally of a satirical nature. One of the earliest and most
attractive of his playful pieces, the graceful Baucis and Philemon,
was published, with the pretty verses On Mrs Biddy Floyd, in
the last volume of Tonson's Miscellany (1709). In other pieces,
A Description of a City Shower and A Description of the Morning,
published in The Tatler, the subject is treated purely from a
humorous and satirical point of view. Among his later works,
The Grand Question debated (1729), with its studies of Lady
Acheson and of her maid, Hannah, is altogether delightful.
In two pieces written in imitation of Horace (1713–14), Swift
described, in felicitous words, his friendship with Harley, and gave
some account of his own feelings before and after he was appointed
to the deanery of St Patrick's. Harley saw Swift'cheapening old
authors on a stall':
A clergyman of special note
For shunning those of his own coat;
Which made his brethren of the gown
Take care betimes to run him down:
No libertine, nor over nice,
Addicted to no sort of vice;
Went where he pleased, said what he thought;
Not rich, but owed no man a groat.
Harley adopted him as a humble friend, and said that Swift must
be a dean: he need but cross the Irish sea to have power and
ease. Swift had often wished that he had 'for life, six hundred
1 Hist. MSS Comm. , Seventh Report, p. 680.


## p. 120 (#144) ############################################

I 20
Swift
pounds a year, with a garden, and a good house for a friend.
Now he had all this and more, and would have been content,
could he have lived nearer London.
The famous Cadenus and Vanessa (1713) gives, in a mock
classical settings Swift's account of his acquaintance with Hester
Vanhomrigh, and of his surprise and distress at finding her in love
with him. Vanessa scorned fops and fine ladies; at length, she
met the dean,
Grown old in politics and wit,
Caress'd by ministers of state,
Of half mankind the dread and hate.
His fame led her to forget his age; but he did not understand
what love was; his feelings were those of a father and a tutor.
After a time, he found that her thoughts wandered, and, at length,
she confessed that his lessons had
found the weakest part,
Aimed at the head, but reached the heart.
Cadenus was ashamed and surprised. He knew that the world
would blame him, especially as she had 'five thousand guineas
in her purse. ' But Vanessa argued well, and, to his grief and
shame, Cadenus could scarce oppose her. After all, it was flatter-
ing to be preferred to a crowd of beaux. He told her it was
too late for him to love, but he offered friendship, gratitude,
esteem. Vanessa took him at his word, and said she would now
be the tutor. What success she had was yet a secret; whether
he descended to ‘less seraphic ends' or whether they decided 'to
temper love and books together' must not be told.
As this poem was preserved by Hester Vanhomrigh, we may
assume that she did not think Swift had done her injustice in
the clever apology for his own conduct. As in the case of the
correspondence, it is pleasant to turn from the verses about
Vanessa to the pieces which Swift wrote year by year on Stella's
birthday. With laughing allusions to her advancing years (when
she was thirty-eight, he wrote ‘Stella this day is thirty-four (We
shan't dispute a year or more)'), he dwells on her wit and the lustre
of her eyes. Hers was an angel's face a little cracked,' with an
angel's mind. He 'ne'er admitted Love a guest'; having Stella
for his friend, he sought no more. She nursed him in his illness,
coming to his relief ‘with cheerful face and inward grief. '
When out my brutish passions break,
With gall in every word I speak,
She with soft speech my anguish cheers,
Or melts my passions down with tears.
6
6


## p. 121 (#145) ############################################

Savage Satirical Verse
I 21
If her locks were turning grey, his eyes were becoming dim, and
he would not believe in wrinkles which he could not see. On
her last birthday, when she was sick and Swift grown old, he wrote
that, though they could form no more long schemes of life, she
could look with joy on what was past. Her life had been well
spent, and virtue would guide her to a better state. Swift would
gladly share her suffering,
Or give my scrap of life to you,
And think it far beneath your due;
You, to whose care so oft I owe
That I'm alive to tell you so.
Swift is at his best in these pieces of sincere affection for the
woman whom he loved throughout her life.
It is strange to pass to some of his satires on woman, which
are among the bitterest and most savage of his verses, and exhibit
a physical loathing which suggests mental defect. In The Pro-
gress of Beauty, he dwells on physical decay; in The Progress
of Marriage, he describes a union where “the swain is old, the
nymph coquette. ' In The Journal of a Modern Lady, he satirises
the woman whose life is given to cards. In The Lady's Dressing
Room, Strephon and Chloe, and other pieces written about
1730—1, we see the increasing disease of mind which could find
nothing but what was loathsome. It is unnecessary to dwell on
these melancholy and savage things, or on the coarse or foolish trifles
which Swift and the cronies of his later years bandied to and fro.
They had their origin in an attempt to escape from the deepening
gloom. Nor need we do more than glance at the political ballads
and skits—Sid Hamet's Rod, The W—ds—r Prophecy, The Fable
of Midas, Dennis's Invitation to Steele and the like-in which Swift
attacked his opponents while engaged in the political warfare of
1710–13; or at those of later years relating to Ireland. The Epistle
to Mr Gay contains a violent attack on Walpole. It is enough
to mention the inhuman onslaught on Lord Allen in Traulus (1730),
and The Last Judgment and The Legion Club (1736), two of his
last pieces, where savage wrath has the fullest sway. In The Legion
Club, an attack on the Irish parliament, he pictures it as a mad-
house, and gives us the keeper's description of the various members.
If he could destroy the harpies' nest with thunder, how would
Ireland be blessed! They sold the nation, they raved of making
laws and they scribbled senseless heads of bills:
See, the Muse unbars the gate;
Hark, the monkeys, how they prate!


## p. 122 (#146) ############################################

I 22
Swift
Would Hogarth were there, so that every monster might be painted!
At length, he could not bear any more of it:
Keeper, I have seen enough.
Taking then a pinch of snuff,
I concluded, looking round them,
May their god, the devil, confound them!
In the fable called The Beasts Confession to the Priest (1732),
Swift dwells on the universal folly of mankind of mistaking their
talents. ' When the land was struck with plague, their king ordered
the beasts to confess their sins. The ass confessed that he was a
wag; the ape claimed strict virtue, but said his zeal was sometimes
indiscreet; the swine said his shape and beauty made him proud,
but gluttony was never his vice. Similarly, the knave declares
he failed because he could not flatter; the chaplain vows he cannot
fawn; the statesman says, with a sneer, that his fault is to be too
sincere. Swift's conclusion is that he had libelled the four-footed
6
race, since
Creatures of ev'ry kind but ours
Well comprehend their nat'ral powers
though
now and then
Beasts may degen’rate into men.
On Poetry: a Rhapsody (1733) was thought by Swift to be
his best satire. In this very powerful piece, he describes the
difficulty of the poet's art, and the wane of public encouragement.
After much satirical advice, he tells the writer who has had to put
aside all thoughts of fame to seek support from a party:
A pamphlet in Sir Bob's defence
Will never fail to bring in pence.
Praise of a king will always be acceptable, and, with change of
names, will serve again in the following reign. Or, the poet may
live by being a puny judge of wit at Will's: he must read Rymer
and Dennis, and Dryden's prefaces, now much valued,
Though merely writ at first for filling,
To raise the volume's price a shilling.
Jobbers in the poet's art were to be found in every alley, gene-
rally at war with each other. As naturalists have observed, a flea
Has smaller fleas that on him prey;
And these have smaller still to bite 'em,
And so proceed ad infinitum.
Who can reach the worst in Grub street ?
the height we know;
'Tis only infinite below.
And then the piece ends with satirical adulation of king and
minister, such as poetasters loved.


## p. 123 (#147) ############################################

On the Death of Dr Swift
123
The poem On the Death of Dr Swift (1731), with its mixture
of humour, egotism and pathos, is, in many respects, the best and
most interesting of Swift's verse. An incomplete pirated version
appeared in 1733, and an authorised copy in 1739; the poem was
finally revised before its issue by Faulkner in 1743. Swift begins
with comments on our dislike to be excelled by our friends, and
then pictures his own coming death and what his acquaintances
would say of him—his vertigo, loss of memory, oft told stories,
which could be borne only by younger folk, for the sake of his
wine. At last, their prognostications came true: the dean was
dead. Who was his heir ? When it was known he had left all
to public uses, people said that this was mere envy, avarice and
pride. The town was cloyed with elegies, and Curll prepared to
treat me as he does my betters,
Publish my will, my life, my letters,
Revive the libels, born to die,
Which Pope must bear, as well as I.
Friends shrugged their shoulders, and said, 'I'm sorry—but we all
must die. ' Ladies received the news, over their cards, in doleful
dumps :
The Dean is dead (pray what are trumps ? )
Then Lord have mercy on his soul.
(Ladies; I'll venture for the vole. )
In a year, he was forgotten; his wit was out of date. But, some-
times, men at a club would refer to him and discuss his character.
This gives Swift the opportunity for a defence of himself. He had
aimed at curing the vices of mankind by grave irony: 'What he
writ was all his own. He never courted men of rank, nor was he
afraid of the great. He helped those in distress, and chose only
the good and wise for friends. “Fair Liberty was all his cry. '
He valued neither power nor wealth. He laboured in vain to
reconcile his friends in power, and, finally, left the court in despair.
In Ireland, he defeated Wood;
Taught fools their interest how to know
And gave them arms to ward the blow.
Perhaps the dean had too much satire in his veins :
Yet malice never was his aim,
He lashed the vice, but spared the name.
True genuine dulness moved bis pity
Unless it offered to be witty.
He gave the little wealth he had
To build a house for fools and mad,
And showed by one satiric touch
No nation needed it so much.


## p. 124 (#148) ############################################

124
Swift
It will be seen, from what has been said, that Swift's verse has
very little imagination or sentiment. It is merely witty prose put
into fluent verse, with clever rimes. There is no chivalry, no real
emotion, except the fierce passion of indignation. If 'poet' con-
notes the love of beauty, the search after ideals, the preaching
of what is ennobling, then Swift is not a poet. But his verse is an
admirable vehicle for the expression of his passion and irony;
and it is excellent of its kind, simple, sincere, direct, pointed,
without any poetic ornament or show of learning.
Of Swift's correspondence, by far the most interesting, of
course, is that with Esther Johnson, afterwards to be known as
the Journal to Stella. The latter part of these journal-letters
were first printed in Hawkesworth's 1766 edition of Swift ; but
Hawkesworth suppressed most of the little language,' and made
other changes in the text. The publishers, however, presented
the manuscript, with the exception of one letter, to the British
Museum, and we now can read the letters as they were written,
subject to difficulties due to deciphering and to numerous abbre-
viations, and to the fact that Swift, in later years, ruled out
many words and sentences. The remainder of the Journal, con-
sisting of the first forty letters, was published by Deane Swift in
1768. Unfortunately, the originals, with one exception, have
been lost; but it is clear that Deane Swift took even greater
liberties than Hawkesworth.
The Journal to Stella affords the most intimate picture of
Swift that we possess, while, at the same time, it is an historical
document of the greatest value. It throws much light on the
relations between the pair, and it brings vividly before us Swift's
fears and hopes during the two years and a half covered by the
letters. His style, always simple and straightforward, is never
more so than in this most intimate correspondence. He mentions
casually the detailed incidents of his life and alludes to the
people he met; he never describes anyone at length, but con-
stantly summarises in a sentence the main characteristics of the
man, or, at least, his estimate of his character. Bolingbroke, the
thorough rake'; Oxford, the ‘pure trifler’; Marlborough, 'as
covetous as hell and as ambitious as a prince of it'; Congreve,
now nearly blind; the lovable Arbuthnot; Steele, who hardly
ever kept an appointment ; queen Anne, who found very little to
say to those around her; Mrs Masham, and other ladies of the
court-of all these we are allowed a glance which seems to furnish
us with a real knowledge of them.
6


## p. 125 (#149) ############################################

Journal to Stella
I 25
Mr Addison and I are as different as black and white, and I believe our
friendship will go off, by this damned business of party. . . but I love him
still as well as ever, though we seldom meet.
Day by day, we are told of party intrigues and of promises held
out to Swift: The Tories drily tell me I may make my fortune
'
if I please,' he noted in 1710, 'but I do not understand them, or
rather I do understand them. A few weeks later, he wrote
To say the truth, the present ministry have a difficult task, and want me.
Perhaps they may be as grateful as others: but, according to the best judg-
ment I have, they are pursuing the true interest of the public; and therefore
'I am glad to contribute what is in my power. '
And, in February 1711,
They call me nothing but Jonathan, and I said I believed they would leave
me Jonathan, as they have found me; and that I never knew a ministry
do anything for those whom they make companions of their pleasures; and I
believe you will find it so; but I care not.
Swift's financial troubles constantly come to light in these letters.
'People have so left town,' he says, 'that I am at a loss for a
dinner. . . it cost me eighteenpence in coach-hire before I could
find a place to dine in. ' When he first came to London, he took
rooms at eight shillings a week: ‘Plaguy dear, but I spend
nothing for eating, never go to a tavern, and very seldom in a
coach. ' In another place, he says, 'This rain ruins me in coach
hire. ' How much exaggeration there was in these protests against
expense, it is not easy to say. The Journal abounds in arrogant
references to great ladies and others; but the arrogance was
partly affected and partly the result of a fear of being patronised.
Once, when he was to have supped with Lady Ashburnham, he
says: “The drab did not call for me in her coach as she promised
but sent for us, and so I sent my excuses. When the duchess
of Shrewsbury expostulated with him for not dining with her,
Swift said he expected more advances from ladies, especially
duchesses. Swift's genuine kindness to, and love of, those who
were his friends is constantly appearing. When William Harrison,
whom he had assisted to start a continuation of The Tatler, was
ill, Swift was afraid to knock at the door; when he found that
Harrison was dead, he comforted the mother.
When Lady
Ashburnham died, he wrote,
She was my greatest favourite and I am in excessive concern for her loss. . . .
I hate life when I think it exposed to such accidents; and to see so many
thousand wretches burdening the earth, while such as her die, makes me
think God did never intend life for a blessing.
6


## p. 126 (#150) ############################################

1 26
Swift
Swift took much interest in a small poet called Diaper, a young
fellow who had written some Eclogues : 'I hate to have any new
wits rise, but when they do rise I will encourage them : but they
tread on our heels and thrust us off the stage. When his friend
Mrs Anne Long died, Swift said he was never more afflicted. Mrs
Long had 'all sorts of amiable qualities and no ill ones, except
but the indiscretion of too much neglecting her own affairs. ' For
his servant, Patrick, to whom there are constant references, he
showed the greatest forbearance. Patrick had good points, but
he drank, and sometimes stopped out at night; he was, however,
a favourite both of Swift and Mrs Vanhomrigh.
The 'little language' which Swift employed in writing to Stella
had probably been used between them ever since they were at
Moor park together. He constantly addressed Stella and Mrs
Dingley as 'sirrahs,' girls,' 'dearest lives, and so on ; but we can
generally distinguish references intended for Stella only. There
are frequent references to Stella's weak eyes. What shall we
do to cure them, poor dear life? ' 'It is the grief of my soul to
think you are out of order. ' 'I will write plainer for Dingley to
read from, henceforth, though my pen is apt to ramble when
I think who I am writing to. Nothing gave him any sort of
dream of happiness, but a letter now and then from
his own dearest M. D. . . . Yes, faith, and when I write to M. D. , I am happy
too; it is just as if methinks you were here, and I prating to you, and telling
you where I have been.
In another place, he says to Stella:
I can hardly imagine you absent when I am reading your letter or writing
to you: No, faith, you are just here upon this little paper, and therefore I
see and talk with you every evening constantly, and sometimes in the morning.
Besides the personal interest, the Journal throws valuable
light on the social life of the day, both in Dublin and in London.
There are constant allusions to Stella's life in Ireland and to the
friends with whom she mixed. There was a club, with ombre,
claret and toasted oranges; there are descriptions of Stella's
rides and walks ; of dinners at three or four o'clock; of London
sights; of the Mohocks and other terrors; of the polite ways of
society, and of snuff taken by ladies and of jokes which they
indulged in. We hear, too, of the dangers of robbers at night
across the fields of Chelsea and of the risk of French privateers
in the Irish channel. The Journal is a mine of information for
the historian and the student of manners, and of absorbing interest
as a picture of character.


## p.
127 (#151) ############################################

Character of Swift's Life and Work 127
Swift's general correspondence is remarkable, like his other
writings, for the ease with which he could always find apt words
to express the exact meaning which he wished to convey. He
also has the merit, essential in a good correspondent, that he
can adapt himself readily to the character and point of view of
the person to whom he is writing. In his letters, we have not
only a graphic picture of Swift's own feelings and character, but
clear indications of the nature of the men with whom he was in
communication. In the letters to Pope, there is something of the
artificiality of the poet; in those to King, the dignity and state-
liness befitting a dignitary of the church ; and, in those to
Arbuthnot, the sincere affection which was a marked charm in
the doctor. Unfortunately, when Swift wrote to the companions
who occupied too much of his time in the period of his decay, he
condescended to jests unworthy of him. In writing to his friends,
he never leaned on his elbow to consider what he should write. '
There is evidence that letters of importance were often carefully
revised and considered before they were despatched; but, ordi-
narily, he wrote ‘nothing but nature and friendship,' as he said to
Pope, without any eye to the public.
Various interpretations have been placed on Swift's life and
work. Much has been written in his defence since the unsym-
pathetic studies of Macaulay, Jeffrey and Thackeray appeared ;
but he remains somewhat of a mystery. It is not easy to reconcile
his contempt for mankind with his affection for his friends and
their affection for him; or his attacks on woman with his love for
one, and the love which two women felt for him. It is, again,
difficult, in view of the decorum of his own life and his real, if
formal, religion, to explain the offensiveness of some of his writings.
Probably, this was due to a distorted imagination, the result of
physical or mental defect; and it must be remembered that it is
only here and there that coarseness appears. Sterne remarked,
'Swift has said a thousand things I durst not say. But there is
no lewdness in Swift's work, and no persistent strain of indecency,
as in Sterne.
Some have suggested that Swift's avoidance of the common
ties of human life was due to fears of approaching madness ;
others have supposed that the explanation was physical infirmity;
others, again, have found the key in his coldness of temperament
or in bis strong desire for independence. He appears to have
hungered for human sympathy, but to have wanted nothing more.
From the passion of love, he seems to have turned with disgust.


## p. 128 (#152) ############################################

128
Swift
The early years of poverty and dependence left an indelible mark
on him, and he became a disappointed and embittered man. His
mind, possessed by a spirit of scorn, turned in upon itself, and his
egotism grew with advancing years. Cursed with inordinate pride
and arrogance, he became like a suppressed volcano. His keen-
ness of vision caused him to see with painful clearness all that
was contemptible and degrading in his fellow men; but he had
little appreciation for what was good and great in them. The
pains and giddiness to which Swift was subject left their impression
upon his work ; 'at best,' he said, 'I have an ill head, and an
aching heart. ' His misanthropy was really a disease, and his life
of loneliness and disappointment was a tragedy, calling for pity and
awe, rather than for blame.
Swift's style is very near perfection. Clear, pointed, precise,
he seems to have no difficulty in finding words to express exactly
the impression which he wishes to convey. The sentences are not
always grammatically correct, but they come home to the reader,
like the words of a great orator or advocate, with convincing
force. He realizes so clearly what he is describing that the reader
is, of necessity, interested and impressed. There are no tricks of
style, no recurring phrases ; no ornaments, no studied effects ; the
object is attained without apparent effort, with an outward gravity
marking the underlying satire or cynicism, and an apparent
calmness concealing bitter invective. There is never any doubt
of his earnestness, whatever may be the mockery on the surface.
For the metaphysical and the speculative, he had no sympathy.
Swift was a master satirist, and his irony was deadly. He
was the greatest among the writers of his time, if we judge
them by the standard of sheer power of mind; yet, with some few
exceptions, his works are now little read. Order, rule, sobriety
,
—these are the principles he set before him when he wrote,
and they form the basis of his views on life, politics and religion.
Sincerity is never wanting, however much it is cloaked with
humour; but we look in vain for lofty ideals or for the prophetic
touch which has marked the bearers of the greatest names in our
literature. That which is spiritual was strangely absent in Swift.
He inveighs against folly and evil; but be seems to have no hope
for the world. He is too often found scorning the pettiness of his
fellow creatures, as in Lilliput, or describing with loathing the
coarseness of human nature, as in Brobdingnag. Satire and
denunciation alone are unsatisfying, and the satirist must, in the
end, take a lower place than the creative writer.


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CHAPTER V
ARBUTHNOT AND LESSER PROSE WRITERS
ARBUTHNOT's name is familiar to all readers of the literature
of the early portion of the eighteenth century; but, to most people,
he is known only by the references to him in the correspondence
of Pope and Swift, and what he wrote is now little read. This is
due, in part, to the nature of the topics which he chose, but chiefly
to the fact that he was lavish in the assistance which he gave to
his friends and took little trouble to preserve his work or to
ensure its receiving recognition.
John Arbuthnot was born in 1667 at Arbuthnott, where his
father had become parson in 1665. The village is near Arbuthnott
castle in Kincardineshire; but whether the Arbuthnots were con-
nected with the patron of the living, Viscount Arbuthnott, is
not certain. After the revolution, Arbuthnot's father refused to
conform to the General Assembly and was deprived of his living.
He retired to a small property in the neighbourhood, and died in
1696. His sons left their old home; John-who had studied at
Marischal college, Aberdeen, from 1681 to 1685-going to London,
where he earned a living by teaching mathematics. In 1692, he
published a translation of a book by Huygens on the laws of
chance, and, two years later, he entered University college, Oxford,
as a fellow-commoner, and acted as private tutor to a young man
admitted to the college on the same day. In the summer of
1696, Arbuthnot decided to try some other course of life, and, in
September, he took his doctor's degree in medicine at St Andrews,
where, we are told, he acquitted himself extraordinarily well in
both his public and private trials. He seems to have returned to
London to practise, and, at the end of 1697, he published An
Examination of Dr Woodward's Account of the Deluge, etc. , in
which he pointed out the difficulties which made it impossible to
accept Woodward's theory. Arbuthnot was now on friendly terms
with many wellknown literary and scientific men, including Pepys.
E. L. IX.
CH. V.
9


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130 Arbuthnot and Lesser Prose Writers
a
In 1701, he published at Oxford an admirable essay On the Useful-
ness of Mathematical Learning. In 1704, he was elected a fellow
of the Royal Society and, in 1705, was created an M. D. of Cambridge.
In this latter year, he had the good fortune to be at Epsom when
prince George of Denmark was taken ill, and he was always after-
wards employed by the prince as his physician. In the summer,
he dedicated to the prince a little volume, Tables of the Grecian,
Roman and Jewish Measures, Weights and Coins, and
appointed physician extraordinary to the queen, a post which
gave him considerable influence at court. In 1709, he became
physician in ordinary to the queen.
When the negotiations for the union of England and Scotland
were in progress, in 1706, Arbuthnot assisted in removing the
prejudices of his countrymen by publishing at Edinburgh A Sermon
preached to the People at the Mercat Cross of Edinburgh on the
subject of the Union, and, before long, he was in close touch with
Robert Harley, who had begun to plot against the duke and
duchess of Marlborough. Abigail Hill, Harley's cousin, became
bedchamber-woman and was secretly married, in Arbuthnot's
lodgings in the palace, to Samuel Masham, of prince George's
household. In 1710, Arbuthnot's position was still further secured
both in his profession and at court: he was made a fellow of the
college of physicians and was constantly with the queen. The
downfall of the whigs followed the impeachment of Dr Sache-
verell, and Peter Wentworth expressed his belief that Arbuthnot
was “as much heard as any that give advice now. ' In September,
Swift came to London from Ireland, and undertook the manage-
ment of the tory periodical, The Examiner ; but it is not
until the following year that we find references to Arbuthnot
in Swift's Journal to Stella. The acquaintance of Swift and
Arbuthnot soon ripened into intimacy, and allusions to meet-
ings between them, practical jokes which they perpetrated, and
to the patronage which lay in Arbuthnot's way, become frequent.
Arbuthnot, like Swift, may have had a hand in the attack on the
Marlboroughs called The Story of the St. Alb-n's Ghost; but,
however that may be, we know he was responsible for a series
of pamphlets published, in 1712, with the object of convincing
the public of the desirability of bringing to a close the war
with France. The first of these pamphlets, published on 6 March,
was called Law is a Bottomless Pit, exemplified in the case
of the Lord Strutt, John Bull, Nicholas Frog, and Lewis
Baboon, who spent all they had in a Law Suit. Other pamphlets,
6


## p. 131 (#155) ############################################

Arbuthnot and the Tory Wits
131
published between March and July, were called John Bull
in his Senses, John Bull still in his Senses, An Appendix
to John Bull still in his Senses and Lewis Baboon turned
Honest, and John Bull Politician. Afterwards, these pieces were
rearranged and printed in Pope and Swift's Miscellanies of 1727
as The History of John Bull. These pamphlets carried on, in
their own way, the work done by Swift in his conduct of the
Allies and The Escaminer; but it would appear that Arbuthnot
was alone responsible for them. Arbuthnot, Pope told Spence,
‘was the sole writer of John Bull. '
In October, Arbuthnot published an amusing pamphlet en-
titled The Art of Political Lying, and he was one of the society
of tory statesmen and writers who called each other 'brother'
and had weekly meetings. At a dinner in April 1713, George
Berkeley, a young Irishman recently come to London, was present;
afterwards, he wrote:
Dr Arbuthnot is the first proselyte I have made of the Treatise 1 I came over
to print: his wit you have an instance of in the Art of Political Lying, and in
the Tracts of John Bull, of which he is the author. He is the Queen's
domestic physician, and in great esteem with the whole Court, a great
philosopher, and reckoned the first mathematician of the age, and has the
character of uncommon virtue and probity.
7
Pope was introduced to Arbuthnot by Swift, in 1713, and, soon
afterwards, we hear of the Scriblerus club, of which Pope, Swift
and Arbuthnot, Gay, Parnell, Congreve, Lord Oxford and Atter-
bury were members. The wits decided to publish the Memoirs of
Scriblerus and other pieces intended to ridicule, as Pope says,
'all the false tastes in learning, under the character of a man of
capacity enough, that had dipped into every art and science, but
injudiciously in each. ' The Memoirs of Scriblerus were not
published until 1741; but other pieces connected with the scheme
were included in the Miscellanies of 1727 and in The Dunciad.
From time to time, there were serious reports of the queen's
health, and Gay, in his Shepherd's Week, referred to Arbuthnot as
a skilful leech who had saved the queen's life. There were now
serious dissensions in the ministry, Oxford struggling hard against
his enemies; but, by July, Bolingbroke's friends felt sure of triumph.
Oxford's fall came on 27 July 1714; but the cabinet council
which was to have met on the 29th was postponed owing to the
illness of the queen. Everything that was possible was done by
Arbuthnot and other doctors; but it was clear that she was sinking,
1 Dialogue between Hylas and Philonour, 1713.
9-2


## p. 132 (#156) ############################################

132 Arbuthnot and Lesser Prose Writers
and steps were taken to secure the peaceful succession of the
elector of Hanover. Fuimus tories, was Arbuthnot's witty com-
ment on the fall of the party. On the queen’s death, he removed
to Chelsea and, soon after, paid a visit to a brother in France.
On his return, he took a house in Dover street, which became, as
he called it, Martin's office, where old friends were always welcome.
An unmerciful attack, in 1715, on Gilbert Burnet, called Notes
and Memorandums of the six days preceding the Death of a late
Right Reverend . . . , has been attributed to Arbuthnot; but it has
nothing of his characteristic style. Arbuthnot printed, in 1716, The
Humble Petition of the Colliers, Cooks, Cook-Maids, . . . and others,
and, in 1717, he had a hand in the play called Three Hours after
Marriage, for which, however, Gay was chiefly responsible! He
may or may not be the author of a pamphlet called An Account of
the sickness and death of Dr Woodward (1719). Probably, he wrote
a piece, printed in 1724, entitled Reasons humbly offered by the
Company exercising the trade and mystery of Upholders against
part of the Bill for the better viewing, searching and examining
of drugs, medicines, etc. Two pieces relating to a wild boy named
Peter, who had been brought to England and committed to Arbuth-
not's care, are of doubtful authenticity. They are called It cannot
rain but it pour8 (1725), and The most wonderful wonder that ever
appeared to the wonder of the British Nation (1726). Arbuthnot
was seriously ill in September 1725, when Swift wrote, “If the
world had but a dozen Arbuthnots I would burn my Travels. '
Swift's visit to London, in 1726, to arrange for the publication of
Gulliver's Travels, enabled him to see his friends, and he was
introduced by Arbuthnot to the princess of Wales, shortly after-
wards to become queen Caroline. After Swift's return to Ireland,
Arbuthnot, who was very musical, recommended singers for the choir
at St Patrick's. In the following year, he published Tables of Ancient
Coins, Weights and Measures, a larger version of the little book of
1705; and he was named an elect by the college of physicians,
and delivered the Harveian oration. He may have contributed to
T'he Craftsman in 1726–82. There is no doubt he contributed to
The Variorum Dunciad (1729); but his share cannot be identified.
He may be the author of an attack on Bentley called An account
of the state of learning in the Empire of Lilliput, and of Critical
Remarks on Capt. Gulliver's Travels, by Doctor Bantley.
.
i Cf. ante, p. 72.
Bolingbroke and his Times (The Sequel), by Sichel, W. , 1902, pp. 248 ff. ; and
cf. post, chap. VIII.


## p. 133 (#157) ############################################

6
Position of Arbuthnot 133
Arbuthnot's wife died in 1730, and his own health was bad;
but Pope told Swift that he was unalterable in friendship and
quadrille. In February 1731, he published A Brief Account of
Mr John Ginglicutt's Treatise concerning the Altercation or
Scolding of the Ancients, and, later in the year, he printed a
valuable medical work called An Essay concerning the nature of
Aliments. This was followed, in 1733, by An Essay concerning
the effects of Air on Human Bodies, and by a poem called
Know Yourself (1734). His friends were now much troubled by
his ill-health, which caused him to move to Hampstead for the
sake of the air; but recovery was impossible. Pope visited his
friend, and we have touching letters between Arbuthnot and Pope
and Swift. In January 1735, Pope published his Epistle to
Dr Arbuthnot, to whom he referred as the friend who had
helped him through this long disease, my life. ' Arbuthnot
died on 27 February, in Cork street. Swift wrote that the
death of his friends, Gay and the Doctor, had been terrible
wounds near his heart. ' Afterwards, Lord Chesterfield wrote of
him as both his physician and his friend, entirely confided in by
him in both capacities? . Johnson said of him, 'I think Dr Arbuthnot
the first man among them. He was the most universal genius,
being an excellent physician, a man of deep learning and a
man of much humour. ' Thackeray called him 'one of the wisest,
wittiest, most accomplished, gentlest of mankind.
A collection entitled Miscellaneous Works of the late Dr
Arbuthnot, in two volumes, was published at Glasgow in 1750.
Arbuthnot's son, George, inserted an advertisement in the papers,
declaring that the contents are not the works of my late father,
Dr Arbuthnot, but an imposition on the public. ' Some of the
pieces are certainly not Arbuthnot's, and others are of doubtful
authenticity; but a considerable portion are genuine, and the
advertisement must be taken to mean only that the collection was
unauthorised and untrustworthy. Fortunately, there is no doubt
as to Arbuthnot's claim to the best of the work attributed to him,
and the remainder may very well be neglected.
The History of John Bull will probably be found, nowadays,
to be the most interesting of Arbuthnot's works. To enjoy it,
some knowledge of the history of the time is necessary; but the
allegory, as the brief sketch that follows will show, is, for the most
part, transparent, and the humour is well kept up. The book
begins with an account of the quarrels since the death of Charles II
1 Letters of the Earl of Chesterfield, 1845, vol. 11, p. 446.


## p. 134 (#158) ############################################

134 Arbuthnot and Lesser Prose Writers
of Spain (Lord Strutt), who settled his estate upon his cousin
Philip Baboon, to the great disappointment of his cousin Esquire
South (archduke Charles of Austria). John Bull and Nicholas
Frog (the Dutch) were afraid that Lord Strutt would give all his
custom to his grandfather Lewis Baboon, and they threatened
Lord Strutt that, if he continued to deal with his grandfather,
they would go to law with him; while there were other tradesmen
who were glad to join against Lewis Baboon if Bull and Frog
would bear the charges of the suit. The case was put into the
hands of Hocus, the attorney (the duke of Marlborough), and
the decision went in favour of John Bull and his friends; but
repeated promises that the next verdict would be the final deter-
mination were not fulfilled, and new trials and new difficulties
continued to present themselves. Hocus proved himself superior
to most of his profession:
He kept always good clerks, he loved money, was smooth tongued, gave good
words, and seldom lost his temper; he was not worse than an infidel, for he
provided plentifully for his family; but he loved himself better than them all.
The neighbours reported that he was henpecked, which was most impossible
with such a mild-spirited woman as his wife was.
John Bull was so pleased with his success that he thought of
leaving off his trade and turning lawyer. John, in the main,
was
an honest, plain dealing fellow, choleric, bold, and of a very inconstant
temper. . . . He was very apt to quarrel with his best friends, especially if they
pretended to govern him. If you flattered him you might lead him like a
child. John's temper depended very much upon the air; his spirits rose and
fell with the weather-glass. John was quick and understood his business
very well: but no man alive was more careless in looking into his accounts,
or more cheated by partners, apprentices and servants. This was occasioned
by his being a boon companion, loving his bottle and his diversion; for, to
say truth, no man kept a better house than John, nor spent his money more
generously.
His mania for the law was checked by his discovery of an
intrigue between Hocus and Mrs Bull, his first wife (the late whig
parliament). Violent scenes ensued and, at last, Mrs Bull was
maltreated and died, leaving three daughters, Polemia, Discordia
and Usuria. John at once married again (the new tory parlia-
ment). This wife was a sober country gentlewoman, who gave
him good advice, urging him to bring the litigation to an end.
When he looked through his attorney's bill, he was shocked at its
length, and discovered that he had been egregiously cheated, and
that the whole burden of the lawsuit had been thrown upon his


## p. 135 (#159) ############################################

John Bull
>
The History of John
135
shoulders. The other tradesmen abused Mrs Bull, and said that
their interests were sacrificed.
The second of the series of pamphlets begins with the discovery
of a paper by the first Mrs Bull containing a vindication of the
duty of unfaithfulness incumbent upon wives in cases of infidelity
of their husbands. This, of course, is a satire on the disloyalty
of whigs. Then, Diego (earl of Nottingham) had an interview
with the second Mrs Bull, in the hope of satisfying her that John
must not desert his friends; but she showed that Nick Frog had
been deceiving John and endeavouring to make a private
arrangement with Lewis Baboon. The guardians of Bull's three
daughters (the whig leaders) came to John and urged that the
lawsuit should be continued; but John told them that he knew
when he was ill-used; that he was aware how his family were
apt to throw away their money in their cups; but that it was an
unfair thing to take advantage of his weakness and make him
set his hand to papers when he could hardly hold his pen. .
The third pamphlet relates to John Bull's mother (the church
of England), and his sister Peg (the Scottish church) and her love
affair with Jack (presbyterianism). The mother was of a meek
spirit, and strictly virtuous. She always put the best construction
on the words and actions of her neighbours; she was neither a prude
nor a fantastic old belle. John's sister was a poor girl who had
been starved as nurse. John had all the good bits: his sister had
:
only a little oatmeal or a dry crust; he had lain in the best apart-
ments with his bedchamber towards the south; she had lodged in
a garret exposed to the north wind; but she had life and spirit
in abundance and knew when she was ill-used. The pamphlet
ends with a letter from Nick Frog to John Bull urging him to
mortgage his estate, and with an account of a conference between
Bull, Frog, South and Lewis Baboon at the Salutation tavern
(congress of Utrecht). The fourth part of John Bull is concerned,
to some extent, with Jack and the bill against occasional con-
formity; and the fifth and last part refers to the meetings at the
Salutation inn and the intrigues of the various tradesmen. John
had interviews with Nick Frog and Lewis Baboon about Ecclesdown
castle (Dunkirk) and other matters, and the lawsuit was brought
to an end with John in possession of Ecclesdown, to his great
satisfaction.
Arbuthnot’s masterpiece owed something to Swift's Tale of a
Tub, published eight years earlier; but the plot in Swift's book is
very slight, and there was nothing in the past history of satire to


## p. 136 (#160) ############################################

136 Arbuthnot and Lesser Prose Writers
correspond to the clearly drawn characters and the well developed
story designed to promote certain views on public policy in the
minds of the people, which are to be found in John Bull.
The Art of Political Lying is a delightful skit, like those
pamphlets called “The Works of the Learned. ” Political lying is
the art of convincing the people of salutary falsehoods, for some
good end. ' A lie, it is suggested, is best contradicted by another
lie; if it be said that a great person is dying, the answer should
be, not that he is in perfect health, but that he is slowly recovering.
One chapter of the promised treatise was to be an enquiry, which
of the two parties are the greatest political liars. In both are to be
found great geniuses; but they are prone to glut the market with lies.
Heads of parties are warned against believing their own lies; all
parties have been subject to this misfortune, due to too great
a zeal in the practice of the art. There are many forms of political
lies: the additory, the detractory, the translatory, which transfers
the merit of a man's good action, or the demerit of a man's bad
action, to another.
When one ascribes anything to a person which does not belong to him, the
lie ought to be calculated not quite contradictory to his known quality. For
example, one would not make the French king present at a Protestant con-
venticle, nor the Dutch paying more than their quota.
The wit of this jeu d'esprit is worthy of Swift at his best, and the
method of gravely asserting impossible things and arguing from
those assertions is often to be found in Swift's work. The style,
too, bas the vigorous and idiomatic character of Swift's, and there
is abundance of humour.
The Memoirs of Martinus Scriblerus, of which we have only
the first book, is a curious collection of satires on the learned;
it contains much wit, but a good deal of the satire cannot be
understood without considerable knowledge of metaphysics and
medicine. The earlier part of the work, which relates to the
parentage and bringing-up of Scriblerus, gave many hints to
Sterne for his account of Tristram Shandy and his father. Martin
was born at Münster, the son of a learned gentleman, Cornelius,
by profession an antiquary. When the child was born, his father
remembered that the cradle of Hercules was a shield, and, finding
an antique buckler, he determined that the child should be laid
on it and brought into the study and shown to learned men; but
the maid-servant, having regard to her reputation for cleanliness,
scoured the shield and, in so doing, showed that a certain promi-
nency, on which the antiquaries had speculated, was nothing but


## p. 137 (#161) ############################################

Memoirs of Scriblerus
137
the head of a nail.