No More Learning

Like a bird losing its way I am caught.
When my heart was shaken it lost its veil and was naked. Cover
it with pity, beloved, and forgive me my love.

If you cannot love me, beloved, forgive me my pain.
Do not look askance at me from afar.
I will steal back to my corner and sit in the dark.
With both hands I will cover my naked shame.
Turn your face from me, beloved, and forgive me my pain.

If you love me, beloved, forgive me my joy.
When my heart is borne away by the flood of happiness, do not
smile at my perilous abandonment.
When I sit on my throne and rule you with my tyranny of love,
when like a goddess I grant you my favour, bear with my pride,
beloved, and forgive me my joy.



34


Do not go, my love, without asking my leave.
I have watched all night, and now my eyes are heavy with sleep.
I fear lest I lose you when I am sleeping.
Do not go, my love, without asking my leave.

I start up and stretch my hands to touch you. I ask myself, "Is
it a dream? "
Could I but entangle your feet with my heart and hold them fast
to my breast!
Do not go, my love, without asking my leave.



35


Lest I should know you too easily, you play with me.
You blind me with flashes of laughter to hide your tears.
I know, I know your art.
You never say the word you would.

Lest I should not prize you, you elude me in a thousand ways.
Lest I should confuse you with the crowd, you stand aside.
I know, I know your art,
You never walk the path you would.

Your claim is more than that of others, that is why you are
silent.
With playful carelessness you avoid my gifts.
I know, I know your art,
You never will take what you would.



36


He whispered, "My love, raise your eyes. "
I sharply chid him, and said "Go! "; but he did not stir.
He stood before me and held both my hands. I said, "Leave me! ";
but he did not go.

He brought his face near my ear. I glanced at him and said,
"What a shame! "; but he did not move.
His lips touched my cheek. I trembled and said, "You dare too
much;" but he had no shame.

He put a flower in my hair. I said, "It is useless! "; but he
stood unmoved.
He took the garland from my neck and went away. I weep and ask
my heart, "Why does he not come back? "



37


Would you put your wreath of fresh flowers on my neck, fair one?
But you must know that the one wreath that I had woven is for the
many, for those who are seen in glimpses, or dwell in lands
unexplored, or live in poets' songs.

It is too late to ask my heart in return for yours.
There was a time when my life was like a bud, all its perfume was
stored in its core.
Now it is squandered far and wide.
Who knows the enchantment that can gather and shut it up again?
My heart is not mine to give to one only, it is given to the
many.



38


My love, once upon a time your poet launched a great epic in his
mind.
Alas, I was not careful, and it struck your ringing anklets and
came to grief.
It broke up into scraps of songs and lay scattered at your feet.
All my cargo of the stories of old wars was tossed by the
laughing waves and soaked in tears and sank.
You must make this loss good to me, my love.
If my claims to immortal fame after death are shattered, make me
immortal while I live.
And I will not mourn for my loss nor blame you.



39


I try to weave a wreath all the morning, but the flowers slip and
they drop out.
You sit there watching me in secret through the corner of your
prying eyes.
Ask those eyes, darkly planning mischief, whose fault it was.

I try to sing a song, but in vain.
A hidden smile trembles on your lips, ask of it the reason of my
failure.
Let your smiling lips say on oath how my voice lost itself in
silence like a drunken bee in the lotus.

It is evening, and the time for the flowers to close their
petals.
Give me leave to sit by your side, and bid my lips to do the work
that can be done in silence and in the dim light of stars.



40


An unbelieving smile flits on your eyes when I come to you to
take my leave.
I have done it so often that you think I will soon return.
To tell you the truth I have the same doubt in my mind.
For the spring days come again time after time; the full moon
takes leave and comes on another visit, the flowers come again
and blush upon their branches year after year, and it is likely
that I take my leave only to come to you again.
But keep the illusion awhile; do not send it away with ungentle
haste.
When I say I leave you for all time, accept it as true, and let a
mist of tears for one moment deepen the dark rim of your eyes.
Then smile as archly as you like when I come again.



41


I long to speak the deepest words I have to say to you; but I
dare not, for fear you should laugh.
That is why I laugh at myself and shatter my secret in jest.
I make light of my pain, afraid you should do so.

I long to tell you the truest words I have to say to you; but I
dare not, being afraid that you would not believe them.
That is why I disguise them in untruth, saying the contrary of
what I mean.
I make my pain appear absurd, afraid that you should do so.

I long to use the most precious words I have for you; but I dare
not, fearing I should not be paid with like value.
That is why I gave you hard names and boast of my callous
strength.
I hurt you, for fear you should never know any pain.

I long to sit silent by you; but I dare not lest my heart come
out at my lips.
That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart
behind words.
I rudely handle my pain, for fear you should do so.

I long to go away from your side; but I dare not, for fear my
cowardice should become known to you.
That is why I hold my head high and carelessly come into your
presence.
Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh for ever.



42


O mad, superbly drunk;
If you kick open your doors and play the fool in public;
If you empty your bag in a night, and snap your fingers at
prudence;
If you walk in curious paths and play with useless things;
Reck not rhyme or reason;
If unfurling your sails before the storm you snap the rudder in
two,
Then I will follow you, comrade, and be drunken and go to the
dogs.

I have wasted my days and nights in the company of steady wise
neighbours.
Much knowing has turned my hair grey, and much watching has made
my sight dim.
For years I have gathered and heaped up scraps and fragments of
things;
Crush them and dance upon them, and scatter them all to the
winds.
For I know 'tis the height of wisdom to be drunken and go to the
dogs.

Let all crooked scruples vanish, let me hopelessly lose my way.
Let a gust of wild giddiness come and sweep me away from my
anchors.
The world is peopled with worthies, and workers, useful and
clever.
There are men who are easily first, and men who come decently
after.
Let them be happy and prosper, and let me be foolishly futile.
For I know 'tis the end of all works to be drunken and go to the
dogs.

I swear to surrender this moment all claims to the ranks of the
decent.
I let go my pride of learning and judgment of right and of wrong.
I'll shatter memory's vessel, scattering the last drop of tears.
With the foam of the berry-red wine I will bathe and brighten my
laughter.
The badge of the civil and staid I'll tear into shreds for the
nonce.
I'll take the holy vow to be worthless, to be drunken and go to
the dogs.



43


No, my friends, I shall never be an ascetic, whatever you may say.
I shall never be an ascetic if she does not take the vow with me.
It is my firm resolve that if I cannot find a shady shelter and a
companion for my penance, I shall never turn ascetic.

No, my friends, I shall never leave my hearth and home, and
retire into the forest solitude, if rings no merry laughter in
its echoing shade and if the end of no saffron mantle flutters
in the wind; if its silence is not deepened by soft whispers.
I shall never be an ascetic.



44


Reverend sir, forgive this pair of sinners. Spring winds to-day
are blowing in wild eddies, driving dust and dead leaves away,
and with them your lessons are all lost.
Do not say, father, that life is a vanity.
For we have made truce with death for once, and only for a few
fragrant hours we two have been made immortal.

Even if the king's army came and fiercely fell upon us we should
sadly shake our heads and say, Brothers, you are disturbing us.
If you must have this noisy game, go and clatter your arms
elsewhere. Since only for a few fleeting moments we have been
made immortal.

If friendly people came and flocked around us, we should humbly
bow to them and say, This extravagant good fortune is an
embarrassment to us. Room is scarce in the infinite sky where
we dwell. For in the springtime flowers come in crowds, and
the busy wings of bees jostle each other. Our little heaven,
where dwell only we two immortals, is too absurdly narrow.



45


To the guests that must go bid God's speed and brush away all
traces of their steps.
Take to your bosom with a smile what is easy and simple and near.
To-day is the festival of phantoms that know not when they die.
Let your laughter be but a meaningless mirth like twinkles of
light on the ripples.
Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the
tip of a leaf.
Strike in chords from your harp fitful momentary rhythms.



46


You left me and went on your way.
I thought I should mourn for you and set your solitary image in
my heart wrought in a golden song.
But ah, my evil fortune, time is short.

Youth wanes year after year; the spring days are fugitive; the
frail flowers die for nothing, and the wise man warns me that
life is but a dew-drop on the lotus leaf.
Should I neglect all this to gaze after one who has turned her
back on me?
That would be rude and foolish, for time is short.

Then, come, my rainy nights with pattering feet; smile, my golden
autumn; come, careless April, scattering your kisses abroad.
You come, and you, and you also!
My loves, you know we are mortals. Is it wise to break one's
heart for the one who takes her heart away? For time is short.

It is sweet to sit in a corner to muse and write in rhymes that
you are all my world.
It is heroic to hug one's sorrow and determine not to be
consoled.
But a fresh face peeps across my door and raises its eyes to my
eyes.
I cannot but wipe away my tears and change the tune of my song.
For time is short.



47


If you would have it so, I will end my singing.
If it sets your heart aflutter, I will take away my eyes from
your face.
If it suddenly startles you in your walk, I will step aside and
take another path.
If it confuses you in your flower-weaving, I will shun your
lonely garden.
If it makes the water wanton and wild, I will not row my boat by
your bank.



48


Free me from the bonds of your sweetness, my love! No more of
this wine of kisses.
This mist of heavy incense stifles my heart.
Open the doors, make room for the morning light.
I am lost in you, wrapped in the folds of your caresses.
Free me from your spells, and give me back the manhood to offer
you my freed heart.



49


I hold her hands and press her to my breast.
I try to fill my arms with her loveliness, to plunder her sweet
smile with kisses, to drink her dark glances with my eyes.
Ah, but, where is it? Who can strain the blue from the sky?
I try to grasp the beauty, it eludes me, leaving only the body in
my hands.
Baffled and weary I come back.
How can the body touch the flower which only the spirit may
touch?



50


Love, my heart longs day and night for the meeting with you--for
the meeting that is like all-devouring death.
Sweep me away like a storm; take everything I have; break open my
sleep and plunder my dreams. Rob me of my world.
In that devastation, in the utter nakedness of spirit, let us
become one in beauty.
Alas for my vain desire! Where is this hope for union except in
thee, my God?



51


Then finish the last song and let us leave.
Forget this night when the night is no more.
Whom do I try to clasp in my arms? Dreams can never be made
captive.
My eager hands press emptiness to my heart and it bruises my
breast.



52


Why did the lamp go out?
I shaded it with my cloak to save it from the wind, that is why
the lamp went out.

Why did the flower fade?
I pressed it to my heart with anxious love, that is why the
flower faded.

Why did the stream dry up?
I put a dam across it to have it for my use, that is why the
stream dried up.

Why did the harp-string break?
I tried to force a note that was beyond its power, that is why
the harp-string is broken.



53


Why do you put me to shame with a look?
I have not come as a beggar.
Only for a passing hour I stood at the end of your courtyard
outside the garden hedge.
Why do you put me to shame with a look?

Not a rose did I gather from your garden, not a fruit did I
pluck.
I humbly took my shelter under the wayside shade where every
strange traveller may stand.
Not a rose did I pluck.

Yes, my feet were tired, and the shower of rain come down.
The winds cried out among the swaying bamboo branches.
The clouds ran across the sky as though in the flight from
defeat.
My feet were tired.

I know not what you thought of me or for whom you were waiting at
your door.
Flashes of lightning dazzled your watching eyes.
How could I know that you could see me where I stood in the dark?
I know not what you thought of me.

The day is ended, and the rain has ceased for a moment.
I leave the shadow of the tree at the end of your garden and this
seat on the grass.
It has darkened; shut your door; I go my way.
The day is ended.
54


Where do you hurry with your basket this late evening when the
marketing is over?
They all have come home with their burdens; the moon peeps from
above the village trees.
The echoes of the voices calling for the ferry run across the
dark water to the distant swamp where wild ducks sleep.
Where do you hurry with your basket when the marketing is over?

Sleep has laid her fingers upon the eyes of the earth.
The nests of the crows have become silent, and the murmurs of the
bamboo leaves are silent.
The labourers home from their fields spread their mats in the
courtyards.
Where do you hurry with your basket when the marketing is over?



55


It was mid-day when you went away.
The sun was strong in the sky.
I had done my work and sat alone on my balcony when you went
away.

Fitful gusts came winnowing through the smells of many distant
fields.
The doves cooed tireless in the shade, and a bee strayed in my
room humming the news of many distant fields.

The village slept in the noonday heat. The road lay deserted.
In sudden fits the rustling of the leaves rose and died.
I glazed at the sky and wove in the blue the letters of a name I
had known, while the village slept in the noonday heat.

I had forgotten to braid my hair. The languid breeze played with
it upon my cheek.
The river ran unruffled under the shady bank.
The lazy white clouds did not move.
I had forgotten to braid my hair.

It was mid-day when you went away.
The dust of the road was hot and the fields panting.
The doves cooed among the dense leaves.
I was alone in my balcony when you went away.



56


I was one among many women busy with the obscure daily tasks of
the household.
Why did you single me out and bring me away from the cool shelter
of our common life?

Love unexpressed in sacred. It shines like gems in the gloom of
the hidden heart. In the light of the curious day it looks
pitifully dark.
Ah, you broke through the cover of my heart and dragged my
trembling love into the open place, destroying for ever the
shady corner where it hid its nest.

The other women are the same as ever.
No one has peeped into their inmost being, and they themselves
know not their own secret.
Lightly they smile, and weep, chatter, and work. Daily they go
to the temple, light their lamps, and fetch water from the
river.

I hoped my love would be saved from the shivering shame of the
shelterless, but you turn your face away.
Yes, your path lies open before you, but you have cut off my
return, and left me stripped naked before the world with its
lidless eyes staring night and day.



57


I plucked your flower, O world!
I pressed it to my heart and the thorn pricked.
When the day waned and it darkened, I found that the flower had
faded, but the pain remained.

More flowers will come to you with perfume and pride, O world!
But my time for flower-gathering is over, and through the dark
night I have not my rose, only the pain remains.



58


One morning in the flower garden a blind girl came to offer me a
flower chain in the cover of a lotus leaf.
I put it round my neck, and tears came to my eyes.
I kissed her and said, "You are blind even as the flowers are.
You yourself know not how beautiful is your gift. "



59


O woman, you are not merely the handiwork of God, but also of
men; these are ever endowing you with beauty from their hearts.
Poets are weaving for you a web with threads of golden imagery;
painters are giving your form ever new immortality.
The sea gives its pearls, the mines their gold, the summer
gardens their flowers to deck you, to cover you, to make you
more precious.
The desire of men's hearts has shed its glory over your youth.
You are one half woman and one half dream.



60


Amidst the rush and roar of life, O Beauty, carved in stone, you
stand mute and still, alone and aloof.
Great Time sits enamoured at your feet and murmurs:
"Speak, speak to me, my love; speak, my bride! "
But your speech is shut up in stone, O Immovable Beauty!



61


Peace, my heart, let the time for the parting be sweet.
Let it not be a death but completeness.
Let love melt into memory and pain into songs.
Let the flight through the sky end in the folding of the wings
over the nest.
Let the last touch of your hands be gentle like the flower of the
night.
Stand still, O Beautiful End, for a moment, and say your last
words in silence.
I bow to you and hold up my lamp to light you on your way.



62


In the dusky path of a dream I went to seek the love who was mine
in a former life.

Her house stood at the end of a desolate street.
In the evening breeze her pet peacock sat drowsing on its perch,
and the pigeons were silent in their corner.

She set her lamp down by the portal and stood before me.
She raised her large eyes to my face and mutely asked, "Are you
well, my friend? "
I tried to answer, but our language had been lost and forgotten.

I thought and thought; our names would not come to my mind.
Tears shone in her eyes. She held up her right hand to me. I
took it and stood silent.

Our lamp had flickered in the evening breeze and died.



63


Traveller, must you go?
The night is still and the darkness swoons upon the forest.
The lamps are bright in our balcony, the flowers all fresh, and
the youthful eyes still awake.
Is the time for your parting come?
Traveller, must you go?

We have not bound your feet with our entreating arms.
Your doors are open. Your horse stands saddled at the gate.
If we have tried to bar your passage it was but with our songs.
Did we ever try to hold you back it was but with our eyes.
Traveller, we are helpless to keep you. We have only our tears.

What quenchless fire glows in your eyes?
What restless fever runs in your blood?
What call from the dark urges you?
What awful incantation have you read among the stars in the sky,
that with a sealed secret message the night entered your heart,
silent and strange?

If you do not care for merry meetings, if you must have peace,
weary heart, we shall put our lamps out and silence our harps.
We shall sit still in the dark in the rustle of leaves, and the
tired moon will shed pale rays on your window.
O traveller, what sleepless spirit has touched you from the heart
of the mid-night?



64


I spent my day on the scorching hot dust of the road.
Now, in the cool of the evening, I knock at the door of the inn.
It is deserted and in ruins.
A grim _ashath_ tree spreads its hungry clutching roots
through the gaping fissures of the walls.

Days have been when wayfarers came here to wash their weary feet.
They spread their mats in the courtyard in the dim light of the
early moon, and sat and talked of strange lands.
They work refreshed in the morning when birds made them glad, and
friendly flowers nodded their heads at them from the wayside.

But no lighted lamp awaited me when I came here.
The black smudges of smoke left by many a forgotten evening lamp
stare, like blind eyes, from the wall.
Fireflies flit in the bush near the dried-up pond, and bamboo
branches fling their shadows on the grass-grown path.
I am the guest of no one at the end of my day.
The long night is before me, and I am tired.



65


Is that your call again?
The evening has come. Weariness clings around me like the arms
of entreating love.
Do you call me?

I had given all my day to you, cruel mistress, must you also rob
me of my night?
Somewhere there is an end to everything, and the loneness of the
dark is one's own.
Must your voice cut through it and smite me?

Has the evening no music of sleep at your gate?
Do the silent-winged stars never climb the sky above your
pitiless tower?
Do the flowers never drop on the dust in soft death in your
garden?

Must you call me, you unquiet one?
Then let the sad eyes of love vainly watch and weep.
Let the lamp burn in the lonely house.
Let the ferry-boat take the weary labourers to their home.
I leave behind my dreams and I hasten to your call.



66


A wandering madman was seeking the touchstone, with matted locks
tawny and dust-laden, and body worn to a shadow, his lips
tight-pressed, like the shut-up doors of his heart, his burning
eyes like the lamp of a glow-worm seeking its mate.

Before him the endless ocean roared.
The garrulous waves ceaselessly talked of hidden treasures,
mocking the ignorance that knew not their meaning.
Maybe he now had no hope remaining, yet he would not rest, for
the search had become his life,--
Just as the ocean for ever lifts its arms to the sky for the
unattainable--
Just as the stars go in circles, yet seeking a goal that can
never be reached--
Even so on the lonely shore the madman with dusty tawny locks
still roamed in search of the touchstone.

One day a village boy came up and asked, "Tell me, where did you
come at this golden chain about your waist? "
The madman started--the chain that once was iron was verily gold;
it was not a dream, but he did not know when it had changed.
He struck his forehead wildly--where, O where had he without
knowing it achieved success?
It had grown into a habit, to pick up pebbles and touch the
chain, and to throw them away without looking to see if a
change had come; thus the madman found and lost the touchstone.
The sun was sinking low in the west, the sky was of gold.
The madman returned on his footsteps to seek anew the lost
treasure, with his strength gone, his body bent, and his heart
in the dust, like a tree uprooted.



67


Though the evening comes with slow steps and has signalled for
all songs to cease;
Though your companions have gone to their rest and you are tired;
Though fear broods in the dark and the face of the sky is veiled;
Yet, bird, O my bird, listen to me, do not close your wings.

That is not the gloom of the leaves of the forest, that is the
sea swelling like a dark black snake.
That is not the dance of the flowering jasmine, that is flashing
foam.
Ah, where is the sunny green shore, where is your nest?
Bird, O my bird, listen to me, do not close your wings.

The lone night lies along your path, the dawn sleeps behind the
shadowy hills.
The stars hold their breath counting the hours, the feeble moon
swims the deep night.
Bird, O my bird, listen to me, do not close your wings.

There is no hope, no fear for you.
There is no word, no whisper, no cry.
There is no home, no bed for rest.
There is only your own pair of wings and the pathless sky.
Bird, O my bird, listen to me, do not close your wings.



68


None lives for ever, brother, and nothing lasts for long. Keep
that in mind and rejoice.
Our life is not the one old burden, our path is not the one long
journey.
One sole poet has not to sing one aged song.
The flower fades and dies; but he who wears the flower has not to
mourn for it for ever.
Brother, keep that in mind and rejoice.

There must come a full pause to weave perfection into music.
Life droops toward its sunset to be drowned in the golden
shadows.
Love must be called from its play to drink sorrow and be borne to
the heaven of tears.
Brother, keep that in mind and rejoice.

We hasten to gather our flowers lest they are plundered by the
passing winds.
It quickens our blood and brightens our eyes to snatch kisses
that would vanish if we delayed.
Our life is eager, our desires are keen, for time tolls the bell
of parting.
Brother, keep that in mind and rejoice.

There is not time for us to clasp a thing and crush it and fling
it away to the dust.
The hours trip rapidly away, hiding their dreams in their skirts.
Our life is short; it yields but a few days for love.
Were it for work and drudgery it would be endlessly long.
Brother, keep that in mind and rejoice.

Beauty is sweet to us, because she dances to the same fleeting
tune with our lives.
Knowledge is precious to us, because we shall never have time to
complete it.
All is done and finished in the eternal Heaven.
But earth's flowers of illusion are kept eternally fresh by
death.
Brother, keep that in mind and rejoice.



69


I hunt for the golden stag.
You may smile, my friends, but I pursue the vision that eludes
me.
I run across hills and dales, I wander through nameless lands,
because I am hunting for the golden stag.
You come and buy in the market and go back to your homes laden
with goods, but the spell of the homeless winds has touched me
I know not when and where.
I have no care in my heart; all my belongings I have left far
behind me.
I run across hills and dales, I wander through nameless lands--
because I am hunting for the golden stag.



70


I remember a day in my childhood I floated a paper boat in the
ditch.
It was a wet day of July; I was alone and happy over my play.
I floated my paper boat in the ditch.

Suddenly the storm clouds thickened, winds came in gusts, and
rain poured in torrents.
Rills of muddy water rushed and swelled the stream and sunk my
boat.
Bitterly I thought in my mind that the storm came on purpose to
spoil my happiness; all its malice was against me.

The cloudy day of July is long today, and I have been musing over
all those games in life wherein I was loser.
I was blaming my fate for the many tricks it played on me, when
suddenly I remembered the paper boat that sank in the ditch.



71


The day is not yet done, the fair is not over, the fair on the
river-bank.
I had feared that my time had been squandered and my last penny
lost.
But no, my brother, I have still something left. My fate has not
cheated me of everything.

The selling and buying are over.
All the dues on both sides have been gathered in, and it is time
for me to go home.
But, gatekeeper, do you ask for your toll?
Do not fear, I have still something left. My fate has not
cheated me of everything.

The lull in the wind threatens storm, and the lowering clouds in
the west bode no good.
The hushed water waits for the wind.
I hurry to cross the river before the night overtakes me.
O ferryman, you want your fee!
Yes, brother, I have still something left. My fate has not
cheated me of everything.

In the wayside under the tree sits the beggar. Alas, he looks at
my face with a timid hope!
He thinks I am rich with the day's profit.
Yes, brother, I have still something left. My fate has not
cheated me of everything.

The night grows dark and the road lonely.