_\s
straight
as were it to be seen.
Samuel Beckett
And the e:-e go from one to the other.
Back and forth.
What calm then.
And what storm.
Beneath the weeds' mock calm.
Nat possible an! - longer except as figment. Not endurable. Nothing for it but to close the e:-e for good and see her. Her and the rest. Close it for good and all and see her to death. Unremittent. In the shack. Over the stones. In the pastures. The haze. At the tomb. And back. And the rest. For good and all. To death. Be shut of it all. On to the next. Next figment. Close it for good this filthv eve of flesh. What forbids? Careful.
Such--sncll fiasco that follY takes a hand. Such bits and scraps. Seen no matter how and said as seen. Dread of black. Of white. Of void. Let her vanish. And the rest. For good. And the sun. Last rays. And the
moon. And Yenus. :'-iothing left but black sks. \:I/hit('
earth. Or inverselY, No more sky or earth. Finished
high and 10\\. '\othing but lllack and ·white. EYen- LL.
where no matter where. But black. Void. Nothinfr l,ls('. Contemplate that. Not another word. Home at last. Genth frenth.
Panic past pass on. The hands. Seen from ahoY<'.
They rest on the pubis intertwined. Strident whitl',
Tl1('ir faintly leaden tinge killed by the black ground.
•L-•l,
Suspicion of lace at the wrists. To go \\-ith tIll' frill. The\ tighten then loosen their clasp. Slow systole diastole. And the body that scandal. While its sole hands in vie\\-. On its sale pubis. Dead still to he Surl', On the chair. After the spectacle. Slowh its spell un binding. On and on the:- keep. Tifrhtening and loosen
ing their clasp. Rhythm of a lalJOuring heart. Till \\hl'n almost despairt'd of genth part. Smldenh [Il'nth.
74
,. )
1
Spreading rise and in midair palms uppermost cOille
to the mira<T"? And where '\! Wll sIlt' halts'? Tht' ev,:, llis
~.
cerns afar a kind of stain. Finallv the steep roof wh"nc{' part of the fresh fall has slid. Ullller the low lowering sky the north is los1. Obliterated b\ the snow th"
twelve arc there. Invisibll~ WlTC sht' to raisl' ht'r ('\ She on th" contran immaculatl'1 \ black. 0l at having received a single flake. Nothing neelkcl now but for
them to start falling again \\-hich therefon' they do. L'- .
First one Ln- one here and tlwrt'. Then thicker and thicker plumb through till' still air. Slowh she disap pears. Together with the trace of her stt'p::- and that of the distant roof. How fmel her wav home? Home!
to rest. Behold our hollows. Then after a moment as if
to hide the lines fall back pronating as the:- go and
light flat on head of thighs. Within an ace of the crotch.
It is now the left hand lacks its third finger. A swelling '- '-'
no doubt--a swelling no doubt of the knuckle between first and second phalanges preventing one panic day withdrawal of the ring. The kind called keeper. Still as stones the) clef) as stones do the e:-e. Do the:- as much as feel the clad flesh'? Does tIll' clad flesh fel'l them'? \Vill the) then never lJuiwr'? This night as sureclh not. For before they have-lwfore the eH~ has
time they mist. Who is to blaull' '? Or what? Thev? The eye'? The missing 1ing('r'? The kl'elwr'? The cry? What
)LL•
cn? All flve. All si:\. . And the res1. 1\. 11. ,\. II to blame. All.
Winter l'Hning in the pastures. TIll' snow has
ceased. Her stl'ps so light the:- bard: It'ave a trace.
Have bareh left having ceased. Just l'nough to ]w still • L '
visible. Adrift the snOl\. Whither in her head whill~ Ill'r fe"t stra\ tim::>? Hither and thit! ln too'? Or llllswlTvin<T
. ~
{'~:i.
Ie) II
Even as the sound.
homing
b:nl. Safe as
t he
sa \-in:z
is and
All clark in the cabin while she; ,\'hitens afar. Silence but for the imaginan murmur of flakes beating all the
'-. '
roof. And even now and thcn a real creak. H,~r com pany. Here without having to close the c:e sees her afar. Motionless in the snow under the snow. 'Ill(' but tonhook trembles from its nail as if a night like any
G•
other. Facing: the black curtain the chair e:\. lllJes ib
I
solitude. For \\ant of a fellow-table. Far from it in a
corner see suddenl:- an antique coffer. In its therefore
no lesser solitude. It perhaps that creaks. ~\nd in its
depths who knows the ke:-. The key to close. But this
night the chair. Its immovable air. Less than t h e
more than the empty seat the barred back is piteous.
Here if she eats here she sits to eat. The eye closes in
the dark and sees her in the end. With her right hand
L
dipped in the slop. So far so good. But before she can proceed she fades and disappears. Nothing now for the staring e:-e but the chair in its solitude.
One evening she was followed b:- a lamb. Reared for slaughter like the others it left them to follow her. In
L-
the present to conclude. All so by-gone. Slaughter apart it is not like the others. Hanging to the ground in mat-
as large as life she holds the edge of the bo\\l resting
L- L L L-L-L
on her knees. With her left the spoon dipped in the
slop. She waits. For it to cool perhaps. But no. Merel:
frozen again just as about to begin. At last in a twin
L. •L
movement full of grace she slowly' raises the bowl to
ward her lips while at the same time with equal slow
ness bowing her head to J' oin it. Having set out at the L- L
same instant they meet halfway and there come to rest. Fresh rigor before the 6. rst spoonful slobbered largely back into the slop. Others no happier till time to part lips and bowl and slowly- back with never a slip to their starting points. As smooth and even fro as to. Now again the rigid Memnon pose. With her right hand she holds the edge of the bowl. With her left the spoon
ted coils its fleece hides the little shanks. Rather than walk it seems to glide like a to:- in tow. It halts at the same instant as she. At the same instant as she straYs on. Stockstill as she it waits with head like hers extrava gantly bowed. Clash of black and white that far from
muting the last ra:-s amplify-. It is now her puniness leaps to the ey-e. Thanks it would seem to the Imd: creature next her. Brief paradox. For suddenly' to gether they move on. Hither and thither toward the
stones. There she turns and sits. Does she see the white body at her feet? Head haught now she gazes
•L-L
into emptiness. That profusion. Or with closed ey-es sees the tomb. The lamb goes no further. Alone night
78
79
fallen she makes for homC'. Home!
_\s straight as were it to be seen.
\Vas it ('yer owr and done witb 'Iuestions? Dead the "'hole brood no sooner hatched. Long before. In the
L-
egg. Long lwfore. Oyer and done with answerinb(J. With
GL L-
not bein(J able. \,\'ith not being able not to want to C0
know. '-Vith not lwinf: able. No. Never. i\ dream. Ques tion ans\l-ered.
What remains for tlll: e:-e e"-posed to such condi tions? To sueb yicissitude of hardl:' there and wholl) gont'. \\'-h: nonc but to open no more. Till all done. She done. Or left undone. Tenement and unreason. Na more unless to rest. In the outward and so-called visible. That daub. Quick again to the brim the old nausea and shut again. On her. Till she be whole. Or abort. Question answered.
The coffer. Empty after long nocturnal search. Nothing. Save in the end in a cranny of dust a scrap of paper. Jagged along one edge as if torn from a lliarr
On its yellowed face in liardv legililc ink two l(~tters ••L
followed by a numher. Tu 17. Or Th. Tu ur Th 17. Otherwise hlank. Otherwise (~mpt:.
Slw reemerges un her llack. Dead still. l':vening and night. D(~ad still on her I)ack t'vening and night. TIl<' l,e(1. Careful. A pallet? Hanll: if head as ill s('en when on her Imet's. Pravlng if she pra:s. Pab sll<' ha" on1\ to
grov<'1 d(~elwr. Or grovd elsewl1<'[('. Before tlw chair. LIL
Or the coff(~r. Or at tbe ('dge of the pastures WIth her head on the stunes. A pallet then flat on the floor. :\0 pillow. Hidd(~n from chin to foot uUller a lilaek coyer ing she ofr(~rs her faCt' alOl1<'. Alone! Face def('neekss evening and night. Quick the e:es. The 1l10UH'nt th('\ opt·n. Sucl'lenl: the\ are tlwn'. \othing haying stirn'd. One is (·nm'gh. Ch1<' staring ('\('. Gaping pupil thinl:
nimlwd with WUSl1<'1l lilue. \0 trac(' of hUl1lour. :\"Olll' an: mon'. L nsecing. A", if daz(~d \,\ \lhat s('('n jwhind the lids. The othn pluml,s its clark. TIH'1l op('ns in it,. ;
turn. Daz(,(l ill its tlUll.
Inconlin('nt the Yoid. TIl(' zenith. Ev('ning agam.
80
81
When not night it will be evening. Death again of deathless day. On the one hand embers. On the other
all woods? Ebony why not? Ebony boards. Black on
'. . ,i
black the brushing skirt. Stark the skeleton chair
)L
ashes. Day without end won and lost. Unseen.
On resumption the head is covered. No matter. No
matter now. Such the confusion now between real
and-how say its contrary? No matter. That old tan
dem. Such now the confusion between them once so
twain. And such the farrago from eye to mind. For it
L.
to make what sad sense of it may. No matter now. Such equal liars both. Real and-how ill say its con trar:'? The counter-poison.
Still fresh the coffer fiasco what now of all things
L
but a trapdoor. So cunningly contrived that even to
the lidded eye it scarcely shows. Careful. Raise it at
once and risk another rebuff? No question. Simply
savour in advance with in mind the grisl:' cupboard its
conceivable contents. For the first time then wooden
floor. Its boards in line with the trap's designed to con
ccal it. Promising this flagrant concern \\'ith carnou-
LL
flage. But lleware. Question In' the way what wood of
death-paler than life.
While head included she lies hidden time for a turn
in the pastures. No shock were she alread:' dead. As
of course she is. But in the meantime more convenient
not. Still living then she lies hidden. Having for some
reason covered her head. Or for no reason. Kight.
L
When not evening night. Winter night. No snow. For
the sake of variety. To vary the monoton:. The limp
grass strangel:' rigid under the weight of the rime.
Clawed by the long black skirt how if but heard it must . L
murmur. Moonless star-studded sky reflected in the
erosions filmed with ice. The silence merges into music
infinitely far and as unbroken as silence. Ceaseless
celestial winds in unison. For all all matters now. The
stones gleam faintly afar and the cabin walls seen white
L . '
at last. Said white. The guardians-the twelve are there but not at full muster. \Vell! Above all not understand. Simpl:' note how those still faithful have moved apart. Such ill seen that night in the pastures. While head
82
8. 3
included she lies hidden. Under on closer inspection a
long greatcoat. A man's b\ the buttons. The button- LL.
holes. Eyes closecl does sllf' SFe him?
White \\'ellIs. High time. White as new. N"o wind.
L
1\ot a breath. Unbeaten on b:- all that comes beating
down. And m:{ster! ' the sun has spared them. The sun
that once bcat down. So cast and west sides the re
cfuired clash. South gable no problem. But the other.
That claar. Carefu1. Black too? Black too. A. ml the
r o o L S l a t c s . ~lore. S m a ] ] s l a t e s b l a c k t o o b r o u g h t
from a ruined mansion. What tales bad thf'Y tongues
. u
to tel1. Their lung tale tolcl. Such the dwelling i11 seen i]] ,;aid. Outwardh. High tinll'.
Changcll the stone that draws her when revisitecl
L
alonc. Or she who changes it wheu side by sicle. Now
L,
alone it leans. Bacb\-ard or forwanl as the case mav be.
Is it to nature alone it O\\-es its rough-hewn air? Or to
some too human hand forced to desist? As lVIichel
angelo's from the regicille's bust. If there llIal not LL
be no more cIuestion,; let tlwre at It'asl be no ! Ilore
answers. Granite of no common variety assuredh. Black as jade the jasper that flecks its whiteness. On its what is the wrong word its uptilted face obscure graffiti. Scrawled b:- the ages for tllf' e:-e to solicit in
vain. Winter evenings on her doorstep she imagines she can see it glitter afar. When from their source in the west-south-west the last rays rake its averse face. Such ill seen the stone alone where it stands at the far fringe of the pastures. On her way out with the flowers
as unerring as best she can she lingers by- it. As on her way back with empty hands. Lingers by it a while on
))u)
her way on. Toward the one or other abode. As un erring as best she can.
See them again side by side. Not quite touching. Lit aslant by the latest last rays they cast to the east-north east their long parallel shadows. Evening therefore. Winter evening. It will always be evening.
Nat possible an! - longer except as figment. Not endurable. Nothing for it but to close the e:-e for good and see her. Her and the rest. Close it for good and all and see her to death. Unremittent. In the shack. Over the stones. In the pastures. The haze. At the tomb. And back. And the rest. For good and all. To death. Be shut of it all. On to the next. Next figment. Close it for good this filthv eve of flesh. What forbids? Careful.
Such--sncll fiasco that follY takes a hand. Such bits and scraps. Seen no matter how and said as seen. Dread of black. Of white. Of void. Let her vanish. And the rest. For good. And the sun. Last rays. And the
moon. And Yenus. :'-iothing left but black sks. \:I/hit('
earth. Or inverselY, No more sky or earth. Finished
high and 10\\. '\othing but lllack and ·white. EYen- LL.
where no matter where. But black. Void. Nothinfr l,ls('. Contemplate that. Not another word. Home at last. Genth frenth.
Panic past pass on. The hands. Seen from ahoY<'.
They rest on the pubis intertwined. Strident whitl',
Tl1('ir faintly leaden tinge killed by the black ground.
•L-•l,
Suspicion of lace at the wrists. To go \\-ith tIll' frill. The\ tighten then loosen their clasp. Slow systole diastole. And the body that scandal. While its sole hands in vie\\-. On its sale pubis. Dead still to he Surl', On the chair. After the spectacle. Slowh its spell un binding. On and on the:- keep. Tifrhtening and loosen
ing their clasp. Rhythm of a lalJOuring heart. Till \\hl'n almost despairt'd of genth part. Smldenh [Il'nth.
74
,. )
1
Spreading rise and in midair palms uppermost cOille
to the mira<T"? And where '\! Wll sIlt' halts'? Tht' ev,:, llis
~.
cerns afar a kind of stain. Finallv the steep roof wh"nc{' part of the fresh fall has slid. Ullller the low lowering sky the north is los1. Obliterated b\ the snow th"
twelve arc there. Invisibll~ WlTC sht' to raisl' ht'r ('\ She on th" contran immaculatl'1 \ black. 0l at having received a single flake. Nothing neelkcl now but for
them to start falling again \\-hich therefon' they do. L'- .
First one Ln- one here and tlwrt'. Then thicker and thicker plumb through till' still air. Slowh she disap pears. Together with the trace of her stt'p::- and that of the distant roof. How fmel her wav home? Home!
to rest. Behold our hollows. Then after a moment as if
to hide the lines fall back pronating as the:- go and
light flat on head of thighs. Within an ace of the crotch.
It is now the left hand lacks its third finger. A swelling '- '-'
no doubt--a swelling no doubt of the knuckle between first and second phalanges preventing one panic day withdrawal of the ring. The kind called keeper. Still as stones the) clef) as stones do the e:-e. Do the:- as much as feel the clad flesh'? Does tIll' clad flesh fel'l them'? \Vill the) then never lJuiwr'? This night as sureclh not. For before they have-lwfore the eH~ has
time they mist. Who is to blaull' '? Or what? Thev? The eye'? The missing 1ing('r'? The kl'elwr'? The cry? What
)LL•
cn? All flve. All si:\. . And the res1. 1\. 11. ,\. II to blame. All.
Winter l'Hning in the pastures. TIll' snow has
ceased. Her stl'ps so light the:- bard: It'ave a trace.
Have bareh left having ceased. Just l'nough to ]w still • L '
visible. Adrift the snOl\. Whither in her head whill~ Ill'r fe"t stra\ tim::>? Hither and thit! ln too'? Or llllswlTvin<T
. ~
{'~:i.
Ie) II
Even as the sound.
homing
b:nl. Safe as
t he
sa \-in:z
is and
All clark in the cabin while she; ,\'hitens afar. Silence but for the imaginan murmur of flakes beating all the
'-. '
roof. And even now and thcn a real creak. H,~r com pany. Here without having to close the c:e sees her afar. Motionless in the snow under the snow. 'Ill(' but tonhook trembles from its nail as if a night like any
G•
other. Facing: the black curtain the chair e:\. lllJes ib
I
solitude. For \\ant of a fellow-table. Far from it in a
corner see suddenl:- an antique coffer. In its therefore
no lesser solitude. It perhaps that creaks. ~\nd in its
depths who knows the ke:-. The key to close. But this
night the chair. Its immovable air. Less than t h e
more than the empty seat the barred back is piteous.
Here if she eats here she sits to eat. The eye closes in
the dark and sees her in the end. With her right hand
L
dipped in the slop. So far so good. But before she can proceed she fades and disappears. Nothing now for the staring e:-e but the chair in its solitude.
One evening she was followed b:- a lamb. Reared for slaughter like the others it left them to follow her. In
L-
the present to conclude. All so by-gone. Slaughter apart it is not like the others. Hanging to the ground in mat-
as large as life she holds the edge of the bo\\l resting
L- L L L-L-L
on her knees. With her left the spoon dipped in the
slop. She waits. For it to cool perhaps. But no. Merel:
frozen again just as about to begin. At last in a twin
L. •L
movement full of grace she slowly' raises the bowl to
ward her lips while at the same time with equal slow
ness bowing her head to J' oin it. Having set out at the L- L
same instant they meet halfway and there come to rest. Fresh rigor before the 6. rst spoonful slobbered largely back into the slop. Others no happier till time to part lips and bowl and slowly- back with never a slip to their starting points. As smooth and even fro as to. Now again the rigid Memnon pose. With her right hand she holds the edge of the bowl. With her left the spoon
ted coils its fleece hides the little shanks. Rather than walk it seems to glide like a to:- in tow. It halts at the same instant as she. At the same instant as she straYs on. Stockstill as she it waits with head like hers extrava gantly bowed. Clash of black and white that far from
muting the last ra:-s amplify-. It is now her puniness leaps to the ey-e. Thanks it would seem to the Imd: creature next her. Brief paradox. For suddenly' to gether they move on. Hither and thither toward the
stones. There she turns and sits. Does she see the white body at her feet? Head haught now she gazes
•L-L
into emptiness. That profusion. Or with closed ey-es sees the tomb. The lamb goes no further. Alone night
78
79
fallen she makes for homC'. Home!
_\s straight as were it to be seen.
\Vas it ('yer owr and done witb 'Iuestions? Dead the "'hole brood no sooner hatched. Long before. In the
L-
egg. Long lwfore. Oyer and done with answerinb(J. With
GL L-
not bein(J able. \,\'ith not being able not to want to C0
know. '-Vith not lwinf: able. No. Never. i\ dream. Ques tion ans\l-ered.
What remains for tlll: e:-e e"-posed to such condi tions? To sueb yicissitude of hardl:' there and wholl) gont'. \\'-h: nonc but to open no more. Till all done. She done. Or left undone. Tenement and unreason. Na more unless to rest. In the outward and so-called visible. That daub. Quick again to the brim the old nausea and shut again. On her. Till she be whole. Or abort. Question answered.
The coffer. Empty after long nocturnal search. Nothing. Save in the end in a cranny of dust a scrap of paper. Jagged along one edge as if torn from a lliarr
On its yellowed face in liardv legililc ink two l(~tters ••L
followed by a numher. Tu 17. Or Th. Tu ur Th 17. Otherwise hlank. Otherwise (~mpt:.
Slw reemerges un her llack. Dead still. l':vening and night. D(~ad still on her I)ack t'vening and night. TIl<' l,e(1. Careful. A pallet? Hanll: if head as ill s('en when on her Imet's. Pravlng if she pra:s. Pab sll<' ha" on1\ to
grov<'1 d(~elwr. Or grovd elsewl1<'[('. Before tlw chair. LIL
Or the coff(~r. Or at tbe ('dge of the pastures WIth her head on the stunes. A pallet then flat on the floor. :\0 pillow. Hidd(~n from chin to foot uUller a lilaek coyer ing she ofr(~rs her faCt' alOl1<'. Alone! Face def('neekss evening and night. Quick the e:es. The 1l10UH'nt th('\ opt·n. Sucl'lenl: the\ are tlwn'. \othing haying stirn'd. One is (·nm'gh. Ch1<' staring ('\('. Gaping pupil thinl:
nimlwd with WUSl1<'1l lilue. \0 trac(' of hUl1lour. :\"Olll' an: mon'. L nsecing. A", if daz(~d \,\ \lhat s('('n jwhind the lids. The othn pluml,s its clark. TIH'1l op('ns in it,. ;
turn. Daz(,(l ill its tlUll.
Inconlin('nt the Yoid. TIl(' zenith. Ev('ning agam.
80
81
When not night it will be evening. Death again of deathless day. On the one hand embers. On the other
all woods? Ebony why not? Ebony boards. Black on
'. . ,i
black the brushing skirt. Stark the skeleton chair
)L
ashes. Day without end won and lost. Unseen.
On resumption the head is covered. No matter. No
matter now. Such the confusion now between real
and-how say its contrary? No matter. That old tan
dem. Such now the confusion between them once so
twain. And such the farrago from eye to mind. For it
L.
to make what sad sense of it may. No matter now. Such equal liars both. Real and-how ill say its con trar:'? The counter-poison.
Still fresh the coffer fiasco what now of all things
L
but a trapdoor. So cunningly contrived that even to
the lidded eye it scarcely shows. Careful. Raise it at
once and risk another rebuff? No question. Simply
savour in advance with in mind the grisl:' cupboard its
conceivable contents. For the first time then wooden
floor. Its boards in line with the trap's designed to con
ccal it. Promising this flagrant concern \\'ith carnou-
LL
flage. But lleware. Question In' the way what wood of
death-paler than life.
While head included she lies hidden time for a turn
in the pastures. No shock were she alread:' dead. As
of course she is. But in the meantime more convenient
not. Still living then she lies hidden. Having for some
reason covered her head. Or for no reason. Kight.
L
When not evening night. Winter night. No snow. For
the sake of variety. To vary the monoton:. The limp
grass strangel:' rigid under the weight of the rime.
Clawed by the long black skirt how if but heard it must . L
murmur. Moonless star-studded sky reflected in the
erosions filmed with ice. The silence merges into music
infinitely far and as unbroken as silence. Ceaseless
celestial winds in unison. For all all matters now. The
stones gleam faintly afar and the cabin walls seen white
L . '
at last. Said white. The guardians-the twelve are there but not at full muster. \Vell! Above all not understand. Simpl:' note how those still faithful have moved apart. Such ill seen that night in the pastures. While head
82
8. 3
included she lies hidden. Under on closer inspection a
long greatcoat. A man's b\ the buttons. The button- LL.
holes. Eyes closecl does sllf' SFe him?
White \\'ellIs. High time. White as new. N"o wind.
L
1\ot a breath. Unbeaten on b:- all that comes beating
down. And m:{ster! ' the sun has spared them. The sun
that once bcat down. So cast and west sides the re
cfuired clash. South gable no problem. But the other.
That claar. Carefu1. Black too? Black too. A. ml the
r o o L S l a t c s . ~lore. S m a ] ] s l a t e s b l a c k t o o b r o u g h t
from a ruined mansion. What tales bad thf'Y tongues
. u
to tel1. Their lung tale tolcl. Such the dwelling i11 seen i]] ,;aid. Outwardh. High tinll'.
Changcll the stone that draws her when revisitecl
L
alonc. Or she who changes it wheu side by sicle. Now
L,
alone it leans. Bacb\-ard or forwanl as the case mav be.
Is it to nature alone it O\\-es its rough-hewn air? Or to
some too human hand forced to desist? As lVIichel
angelo's from the regicille's bust. If there llIal not LL
be no more cIuestion,; let tlwre at It'asl be no ! Ilore
answers. Granite of no common variety assuredh. Black as jade the jasper that flecks its whiteness. On its what is the wrong word its uptilted face obscure graffiti. Scrawled b:- the ages for tllf' e:-e to solicit in
vain. Winter evenings on her doorstep she imagines she can see it glitter afar. When from their source in the west-south-west the last rays rake its averse face. Such ill seen the stone alone where it stands at the far fringe of the pastures. On her way out with the flowers
as unerring as best she can she lingers by- it. As on her way back with empty hands. Lingers by it a while on
))u)
her way on. Toward the one or other abode. As un erring as best she can.
See them again side by side. Not quite touching. Lit aslant by the latest last rays they cast to the east-north east their long parallel shadows. Evening therefore. Winter evening. It will always be evening.
