No More Learning

"

"Where's that? "

Dick pointed to the right. "East--out of the mouth of the river," said
he.

"Then west, then south, and then east again, all along the under-side
of Europe. Then south again, God knows how far. " The explanation did
not enlighten Bessie in the least, but she held her tongue and looked to
Dick's patch till they came to the chambers.

"We'll have tea and muffins," he said joyously. "I can't tell you,
Bessie, how glad I am to find you again. What made you go away so
suddenly? "

"I didn't think you'd want me any more," she said, emboldened by his
ignorance.

"I didn't, as a matter of fact--but afterwards--At any rate I'm glad
you've come. You know the stairs. "

So Bessie led him home to his own place--there was no one to hinder--and
shut the door of the studio.

"What a mess! " was her first word. "All these things haven't been looked
after for months and months. "

"No, only weeks, Bess. You can't expect them to care. "

"I don't know what you expect them to do. They ought to know what you've
paid them for. The dust's just awful. It's all over the easel. "

"I don't use it much now. "

"All over the pictures and the floor, and all over your coat. I'd like
to speak to them housemaids. "

"Ring for tea, then. " Dick felt his way to the one chair he used by
custom.

Bessie saw the action and, as far as in her lay, was touched. But there
remained always a keen sense of new-found superiority, and it was in her
voice when she spoke.

"How long have you been like this? " she said wrathfully, as though the
blindness were some fault of the housemaids.

"How? "

"As you are. "

"The day after you went away with the check, almost as soon as my
picture was finished; I hardly saw her alive. "

"Then they've been cheating you ever since, that's all. I know their
nice little ways. "

A woman may love one man and despise another, but on general feminine
principles she will do her best to save the man she despises from being
defrauded. Her loved one can look to himself, but the other man, being
obviously an idiot, needs protection.

"I don't think Mr. Beeton cheats much," said Dick. Bessie was flouncing
up and down the room, and he was conscious of a keen sense of enjoyment
as he heard the swish of her skirts and the light step between.

"Tea and muffins," she said shortly, when the ring at the bell was
answered; "two teaspoonfuls and one over for the pot. I don't want
the old teapot that was here when I used to come. It don't draw. Get
another. "

The housemaid went away scandalised, and Dick chuckled. Then he began to
cough as Bessie banged up and down the studio disturbing the dust.

"What are you trying to do? "

"Put things straight. This is like unfurnished lodgings. How could you
let it go so? "

"How could I help it? Dust away. "

She dusted furiously, and in the midst of all the pother entered Mrs.
Beeton. Her husband on his return had explained the situation, winding
up with the peculiarly felicitous proverb, "Do unto others as you would
be done by. " She had descended to put into her place the person who
demanded muffins and an uncracked teapot as though she had a right to
both.

"Muffins ready yet? " said Bess, still dusting. She was no longer a drab
of the streets but a young lady who, thanks to Dick's check, had paid
her premium and was entitled to pull beer-handles with the best. Being
neatly dressed in black she did not hesitate to face Mrs. Beeton, and
there passed between the two women certain regards that Dick would have
appreciated. The situation adjusted itself by eye. Bessie had won, and
Mrs. Beeton returned to cook muffins and make scathing remarks about
models, hussies, trollops, and the like, to her husband.

"There's nothing to be got of interfering with him, Liza," he said.
"Alf, you go along into the street to play. When he isn't crossed he's
as kindly as kind, but when he's crossed he's the devil and all. We took
too many little things out of his rooms since he was blind to be that
particular about what he does. They ain't no objects to a blind man, of
course, but if it was to come into court we'd get the sack. Yes, I did
introduce him to that girl because I'm a feelin' man myself. "

"Much too feelin'! " Mrs. Beeton slapped the muffins into the dish, and
thought of comely housemaids long since dismissed on suspicion.

"I ain't ashamed of it, and it isn't for us to judge him hard so long
as he pays quiet and regular as he do. I know how to manage young
gentlemen, you know how to cook for them, and what I says is, let each
stick to his own business and then there won't be any trouble. Take them
muffins down, Liza, and be sure you have no words with that young woman.
His lot is cruel hard, and if he's crossed he do swear worse than any
one I've ever served. "

"That's a little better," said Bessie, sitting down to the tea. "You
needn't wait, thank you, Mrs. Beeton. "

"I had no intention of doing such, I do assure you. "

Bessie made no answer whatever. This, she knew, was the way in
which real ladies routed their foes, and when one is a barmaid at a
first-class public-house one may become a real lady at ten minutes'
notice.

Her eyes fell on Dick opposite her and she was both shocked and
displeased. There were droppings of food all down the front of his
coat; the mouth under the ragged ill-grown beard drooped sullenly; the
forehead was lined and contracted; and on the lean temples the hair was
a dusty indeterminate colour that might or might not have been called
gray. The utter misery and self-abandonment of the man appealed to
her, and at the bottom of her heart lay the wicked feeling that he was
humbled and brought low who had once humbled her.

"Oh! it is good to hear you moving about," said Dick, rubbing his hands.
"Tell us all about your bar successes, Bessie, and the way you live
now. "

"Never mind that. I'm quite respectable, as you'd see by looking at me.
You don't seem to live too well. What made you go blind that sudden? Why
isn't there any one to look after you? "

Dick was too thankful for the sound of her voice to resent the tone of
it.

"I was cut across the head a long time ago, and that ruined my eyes. I
don't suppose anybody thinks it worth while to look after me any more.
Why should they? --and Mr. Beeton really does everything I want. "

"Don't you know any gentlemen and ladies, then, while you was--well? "

"A few, but I don't care to have them looking at me. "

"I suppose that's why you've growed a beard. Take it off, it don't
become you. "

"Good gracious, child, do you imagine that I think of what becomes of me
these days? "

"You ought. Get that taken off before I come here again. I suppose I can
come, can't I? "

"I'd be only too grateful if you did. I don't think I treated you very
well in the old days. I used to make you angry. "

"Very angry, you did. "

"I'm sorry for it, then. Come and see me when you can and as often as
you can. God knows, there isn't a soul in the world to take that trouble
except you and Mr. Beeton. "

"A lot of trouble he's taking and she too. " This with a toss of the
head.

"They've let you do anyhow and they haven't done anything for you. I've
only to look and see that much. I'll come, and I'll be glad to come, but
you must go and be shaved, and you must get some other clothes--those
ones aren't fit to be seen. "

"I have heaps somewhere," he said helplessly.

"I know you have. Tell Mr. Beeton to give you a new suit and I'll brush
it and keep it clean. You may be as blind as a barn-door, Mr. Heldar,
but it doesn't excuse you looking like a sweep. "

"Do I look like a sweep, then? "

"Oh, I'm sorry for you. I'm that sorry for you! " she cried impulsively,
and took Dick's hands. Mechanically, he lowered his head as if to
kiss--she was the only woman who had taken pity on him, and he was not
too proud for a little pity now. She stood up to go.

"Nothing 'o that kind till you look more like a gentleman. It's quite
easy when you get shaved, and some clothes. "

He could hear her drawing on her gloves and rose to say good-bye. She
passed behind him, kissed him audaciously on the back of the neck, and
ran away as swiftly as on the day when she had destroyed the Melancolia.

"To think of me kissing Mr. Heldar," she said to herself, "after all
he's done to me and all! Well, I'm sorry for him, and if he was shaved
he wouldn't be so bad to look at, but. . . Oh them Beetons, how
shameful they've treated him! I know Beeton's wearing his shirt on his
back today just as well as if I'd aired it. Tomorrow, I'll see. . . I
wonder if he has much of his own. It might be worth more than the bar--I
wouldn't have to do any work--and just as respectable as if no one
knew. "

Dick was not grateful to Bessie for her parting gift. He was acutely
conscious of it in the nape of his neck throughout the night, but it
seemed, among very many other things, to enforce the wisdom of getting
shaved.

He was shaved accordingly in the morning, and felt the better for it. A
fresh suit of clothes, white linen, and the knowledge that some one in
the world said that she took an interest in his personal appearance made
him carry himself almost upright; for the brain was relieved for a while
from thinking of Maisie, who, under other circumstances, might have
given that kiss and a million others.

"Let us consider," said he, after lunch. "The girl can't care, and it's
a toss-up whether she comes again or not, but if money can buy her to
look after me she shall be bought. Nobody else in the world would take
the trouble, and I can make it worth her while. She's a child of the
gutter holding brevet rank as a barmaid; so she shall have everything
she wants if she'll only come and talk and look after me. " He rubbed his
newly shorn chin and began to perplex himself with the thought of her
not coming. "I suppose I did look rather a sweep," he went on. "I had
no reason to look otherwise. I knew things dropped on my clothes, but
it didn't matter. It would be cruel if she didn't come. She must. Maisie
came once, and that was enough for her. She was quite right. She had
something to work for. This creature has only beer-handles to pull,
unless she has deluded some young man into keeping company with her.
Fancy being cheated for the sake of a counter-jumper! We're falling
pretty low. "

Something cried aloud within him:--This will hurt more than anything
that has gone before. It will recall and remind and suggest and
tantalise, and in the end drive you mad.

"I know it, I know it! " Dick cried, clenching his hands despairingly;
"but, good heavens! is a poor blind beggar never to get anything out of
his life except three meals a day and a greasy waistcoat? I wish she'd
come. "

Early in the afternoon time she came, because there was no young man in
her life just then, and she thought of material advantages which would
allow her to be idle for the rest of her days.

"I shouldn't have known you," she said approvingly. "You look as you
used to look--a gentleman that was proud of himself. "

"Don't you think I deserve another kiss, then? " said Dick, flushing a
little.

"Maybe--but you won't get it yet. Sit down and let's see what I can do
for you. I'm certain sure Mr. Beeton cheats you, now that you can't go
through the housekeeping books every month. Isn't that true? "

"You'd better come and housekeep for me then, Bessie. "

"Couldn't do it in these chambers--you know that as well as I do. "

"I know, but we might go somewhere else, if you thought it worth your
while. "

"I'd try to look after you, anyhow; but I shouldn't care to have to work
for both of us. " This was tentative.

Dick laughed.

"Do you remember where I used to keep my bank-book? " said he. "Torp took
it to be balanced just before he went away. Look and see. "

"It was generally under the tobacco-jar. Ah! "

"Well? "

"Oh!
Four thousand two hundred and ten pounds nine shillings and a
penny! Oh my! "

"You can have the penny. That's not bad for one year's work. Is that and
a hundred and twenty pounds a year good enough? "

The idleness and the pretty clothes were almost within her reach now,
but she must, by being housewifely, show that she deserved them.

"Yes; but you'd have to move, and if we took an inventory, I think we'd
find that Mr. Beeton has been prigging little things out of the rooms
here and there. They don't look as full as they used. "

"Never mind, we'll let him have them. The only thing I'm particularly
anxious to take away is that picture I used you for--when you used to
swear at me. We'll pull out of this place, Bess, and get away as far as
ever we can. "

"Oh yes," she said uneasily.

"I don't know where I can go to get away from myself, but I'll try,
and you shall have all the pretty frocks that you care for. You'll like
that. Give me that kiss now, Bess. Ye gods! it's good to put one's arm
round a woman's waist again. "

Then came the fulfilment of the prophecy within the brain. If his arm
were thus round Maisie's waist and a kiss had just been given and
taken between them,--why then. . . He pressed the girl more closely to
himself because the pain whipped him. She was wondering how to explain
a little accident to the Melancolia. At any rate, if this man really
desired the solace of her company--and certainly he would relapse into
his original slough if she withdrew it--he would not be more than just a
little vexed.

It would be delightful at least to see what would happen, and by
her teachings it was good for a man to stand in certain awe of his
companion.

She laughed nervously, and slipped out of his reach.

"I shouldn't worrit about that picture if I was you," she began, in the
hope of turning his attention.

"It's at the back of all my canvases somewhere. Find it, Bess; you know
it as well as I do. "

"I know--but--"

"But what? You've wit enough to manage the sale of it to a dealer.
Women haggle much better than men. It might be a matter of eight or nine
hundred pounds to--to us. I simply didn't like to think about it for
a long time. It was mixed up with my life so. --But we'll cover up
our tracks and get rid of everything, eh? Make a fresh start from the
beginning, Bess. "

Then she began to repent very much indeed, because she knew the value of
money. Still, it was probable that the blind man was overestimating the
value of his work. Gentlemen, she knew, were absurdly particular about
their things. She giggled as a nervous housemaid giggles when she tries
to explain the breakage of a pipe.

"I'm very sorry, but you remember I was--I was angry with you before Mr.
Torpenhow went away? "

"You were very angry, child; and on my word I think you had some right
to be. "

"Then I--but aren't you sure Mr. Torpenhow didn't tell you? "

"Tell me what? Good gracious, what are you making such a fuss about when
you might just as well be giving me another kiss? "

He was beginning to learn, not for the first time in his experience,
that kissing is a cumulative poison. The more you get of it, the more
you want.

Bessie gave the kiss promptly, whispering, as she did so, "I was so
angry I rubbed out that picture with the turpentine. You aren't angry,
are you? "

"What? Say that again. " The man's hand had closed on her wrist.

"I rubbed it out with turps and the knife," faltered Bessie. "I thought
you'd only have to do it over again. You did do it over again, didn't
you? Oh, let go of my wrist; you're hurting me. "

"Isn't there anything left of the thing? "

"N'nothing that looks like anything. I'm sorry--I didn't know you'd take
on about it; I only meant to do it in fun. You aren't going to hit me? "

"Hit you! No! Let's think. "

He did not relax his hold upon her wrist but stood staring at the
carpet.

Then he shook his head as a young steer shakes it when the lash of the
stock-whip cross his nose warns him back to the path on to the shambles
that he would escape. For weeks he had forced himself not to think of
the Melancolia, because she was a part of his dead life. With Bessie's
return and certain new prospects that had developed themselves, the
Melancolia--lovelier in his imagination than she had ever been on
canvas--reappeared. By her aid he might have procured more money
wherewith to amuse Bess and to forget Maisie, as well as another
taste of an almost forgotten success. Now, thanks to a vicious little
housemaid's folly, there was nothing to look for--not even the hope that
he might some day take an abiding interest in the housemaid. Worst of
all, he had been made to appear ridiculous in Maisie's eyes. A woman
will forgive the man who has ruined her life's work so long as he gives
her love; a man may forgive those who ruin the love of his life, but he
will never forgive the destruction of his work.

"Tck--tck--tck," said Dick between his teeth, and then laughed softly.
"It's an omen, Bessie, and--a good many things considered, it serves me
right for doing what I have done. By Jove! that accounts for Maisie's
running away. She must have thought me perfectly mad--small blame to
her! The whole picture ruined, isn't it so? What made you do it? "

"Because I was that angry. I'm not angry now--I'm awful sorry. "

"I wonder. --It doesn't matter, anyhow. I'm to blame for making the
mistake. "

"What mistake? "

"Something you wouldn't understand, dear. Great heavens! to think that
a little piece of dirt like you could throw me out of stride! " Dick was
talking to himself as Bessie tried to shake off his grip on her wrist.

"I ain't a piece of dirt, and you shouldn't call me so! I did it 'cause
I hated you, and I'm only sorry now 'cause you're 'cause you're----"

"Exactly--because I'm blind. There's noting like tact in little things. "

Bessie began to sob. She did not like being shackled against her will;
she was afraid of the blind face and the look upon it, and was sorry too
that her great revenge had only made Dick laugh.

"Don't cry," he said, and took her into his arms. "You only did what you
thought right. "

"I--I ain't a little piece of dirt, and if you say that I'll never come
to you again. "

"You don't know what you've done to me. I'm not angry--indeed, I'm not.
Be quiet for a minute. "

Bessie remained in his arms shrinking. Dick's first thought was
connected with Maisie, and it hurt him as white-hot iron hurts an open
sore.

Not for nothing is a man permitted to ally himself to the wrong woman.

The first pang--the first sense of things lost is but the prelude to
the play, for the very just Providence who delights in causing pain has
decreed that the agony shall return, and that in the midst of keenest
pleasure.

They know this pain equally who have forsaken or been forsaken by
the love of their life, and in their new wives' arms are compelled to
realise it.

It is better to remain alone and suffer only the misery of being alone,
so long as it is possible to find distraction in daily work. When that
resource goes the man is to be pitied and left alone.

These things and some others Dick considered while he was holding Bessie
to his heart.

"Though you mayn't know it," he said, raising his head, "the Lord is a
just and a terrible God, Bess; with a very strong sense of humour. It
serves me right--how it serves me right! Torp could understand it if
he were here; he must have suffered something at your hands, child, but
only for a minute or so. I saved him. Set that to my credit, some one. "

"Let me go," said Bess, her face darkening. "Let me go. "

"All in good time. Did you ever attend Sunday school? "

"Never. Let me go, I tell you; you're making fun of me. "

"Indeed, I'm not. I'm making fun of myself. . . . Thus. 'He saved
others, himself he cannot save. ' It isn't exactly a school-board text. "
He released her wrist, but since he was between her and the door, she
could not escape. "What an enormous amount of mischief one little woman
can do! "

"I'm sorry; I'm awful sorry about the picture. "

"I'm not. I'm grateful to you for spoiling it. . . . What were we
talking about before you mentioned the thing? "

"About getting away--and money. Me and you going away. "

"Of course. We will get away--that is to say, I will. "

"And me? "

"You shall have fifty whole pounds for spoiling a picture. "

"Then you won't----? "

"I'm afraid not, dear. Think of fifty pounds for pretty things all to
yourself. "

"You said you couldn't do anything without me. "

"That was true a little while ago. I'm better now, thank you. Get me my
hat. "

"S'pose I don't? "

"Beeton will, and you'll lose fifty pounds. That's all. Get it. "

Bessie cursed under her breath. She had pitied the man sincerely, had
kissed him with almost equal sincerity, for he was not unhandsome; it
pleased her to be in a way and for a time his protector, and above all
there were four thousand pounds to be handled by some one. Now through
a slip of the tongue and a little feminine desire to give a little,
not too much, pain she had lost the money, the blessed idleness and the
pretty things, the companionship, and the chance of looking outwardly as
respectable as a real lady.

"Now fill me a pipe. Tobacco doesn't taste, but it doesn't matter, and
I'll think things out. What's the day of the week, Bess? "

"Tuesday. "

"Then Thursday's mail-day. What a fool--what a blind fool I have been!
Twenty-two pounds covers my passage home again. Allow ten for additional
expenses. We must put up at Madam Binat's for old time's sake.
Thirty-two pounds altogether. Add a hundred for the cost of the last
trip--Gad, won't Torp stare to see me! --a hundred and thirty-two leaves
seventy-eight for baksheesh--I shall need it--and to play with. What
are you crying for, Bess? It wasn't your fault, child; it was mine
altogether. Oh, you funny little opossum, mop your eyes and take me out!
I want the pass-book and the check-book. Stop a minute. Four thousand
pounds at four per cent--that's safe interest--means a hundred and sixty
pounds a year; one hundred and twenty pounds a year--also safe--is two
eighty, and two hundred and eighty pounds added to three hundred a year
means gilded luxury for a single woman. Bess, we'll go to the bank. "

Richer by two hundred and ten pounds stored in his money-belt, Dick
caused Bessie, now thoroughly bewildered, to hurry from the bank to the
P. and O. offices, where he explained things tersely.

"Port Said, single first; cabin as close to the baggage-hatch as
possible. What ship's going? "

"The Colgong," said the clerk.

"She's a wet little hooker. Is it Tilbury and a tender, or Galleons and
the docks? "

"Galleons. Twelve-forty, Thursday. "

"Thanks. Change, please. I can't see very well--will you count it into
my hand? "

"If they all took their passages like that instead of talking about
their trunks, life would be worth something," said the clerk to his
neighbour, who was trying to explain to a harassed mother of many that
condensed milk is just as good for babes at sea as daily dairy. Being
nineteen and unmarried, he spoke with conviction.

"We are now," quoth Dick, as they returned to the studio, patting the
place where his money-belt covered ticket and money, "beyond the reach
of man, or devil, or woman--which is much more important. I've had three
little affairs to carry through before Thursday, but I needn't ask you
to help, Bess. Come here on Thursday morning at nine. We'll breakfast,
and you shall take me down to Galleons Station. "

"What are you going to do? "

"Going away, of course. What should I stay for? "

"But you can't look after yourself?