No More Learning

He had a lofty white
forehead, and carried it so high that it seemed to go back into his
neck. And Peter sat by her a long time, and she looked at him with
gentle eyes.

At home that evening he spoke of travel in the wide world, and
of the golden treasure that lay hidden for him in his violin.

"To be famous! "

"Tum-me-lum, tum-me-lum, tum-me-lum! " said the Fire-drum. "Peter
has gone clear out of his wits. I think there must be a fire in the
house. "

Next day the mother went to market.

"Shall I tell you news, Peter? " she asked when she came home. "A
capital piece of news. Burgomaster's Charlotte has engaged herself
to the state councillor's son; the betrothal took place yesterday
evening. "

"No! " cried Peter, and he sprang up from his chair. But his mother
persisted in saying "Yes. " She had heard it from the baker's wife,
whose husband had it from the burgomaster's own mouth.

And Peter became as pale as death, and sat down again.

"Good Heaven! what's the matter with you? " asked his mother.

"Nothing, nothing; only leave me to myself," he answered but the
tears were running down his cheeks.

"My sweet child, my golden treasure! " cried the mother, and she
wept; but the Fire-drum sang, not out loud, but inwardly.

"Charlotte's gone! Charlotte's gone! and now the song is done. "

But the song was not done; there were many more verses in it, long
verses, the most beautiful verses, the golden treasures of a life.


"She behaves like a mad woman," said the neighbor's wife. "All the
world is to see the letters she gets from her golden treasure, and
to read the words that are written in the papers about his violin
playing. And he sends her money too, and that's very useful to her
since she has been a widow. "

"He plays before emperors and kings," said the town musician. "I
never had that fortune, but he's my pupil, and he does not forget
his old master. "

And his mother said,

"His father dreamt that Peter came home from the war with a silver
cross. He did not gain one in the war, but it is still more
difficult to gain one in this way. Now he has the cross of honor. If
his father had only lived to see it! "

"He's grown famous! " said the Fire-drum, and all his native town
said the same thing, for the drummer's son, Peter with the red
hair--Peter whom they had known as a little boy, running about in
wooden shoes, and then as a drummer, playing for the dancers--was
become famous!

"He played at our house before he played in the presence of
kings," said the burgomaster's wife. "At that time he was quite
smitten with Charlotte. He was always of an aspiring turn. At that
time he was saucy and an enthusiast. My husband laughed when he
heard of the foolish affair, and now our Charlotte is a state
councillor's wife. "

A golden treasure had been hidden in the heart and soul of the
poor child, who had beaten the roll as a drummer--a roll of victory
for those who had been ready to retreat. There was a golden treasure
in his bosom, the power of sound; it burst forth on his violin as if
the instrument had been a complete organ, and as if all the elves of a
midsummer night were dancing across the strings. In its sounds were
heard the piping of the thrush and the full clear note of the human
voice; therefore the sound brought rapture to every heart, and carried
his name triumphant through the land. That was a great firebrand--the
firebrand of inspiration.

"And then he looks so splendid! " said the young ladies and the old
ladies too; and the oldest of all procured an album for famous locks
of hair, wholly and solely that she might beg a lock of his rich
splendid hair, that treasure, that golden treasure.

And the son came into the poor room of the drummer, elegant as a
prince, happier than a king. His eyes were as clear and his face was
as radiant as sunshine; and he held his mother in his arms, and she
kissed his mouth, and wept as blissfully as any one can weep for
joy; and he nodded at every old piece of furniture in the room, at the
cupboard with the tea-cups, and at the flower-vase. He nodded at the
sleeping-bench, where he had slept as a little boy; but the old
Fire-drum he brought out, and dragged it into the middle of the
room, and said to it and to his mother:

"My father would have beaten a famous roll this evening. Now I
must do it! "

And he beat a thundering roll-call on the instrument, and the Drum
felt so highly honored that the parchment burst with exultation.

"He has a splendid touch! " said the Drum. "I've a remembrance of
him now that will last. I expect that the same thing will happen to
his mother, from pure joy over her golden treasure. "

And this is the story of the Golden Treasure.




THE GOLOSHES OF FORTUNE

A BEGINNING

In a house in Copenhagen, not far from the king's new market, a
very large party had assembled, the host and his family expecting,
no doubt, to receive invitations in return. One half of the company
were already seated at the card-tables, the other half seemed to be
waiting the result of their hostess's question, "Well, how shall we
amuse ourselves? "

Conversation followed, which, after a while, began to prove very
entertaining. Among other subjects, it turned upon the events of the
middle ages, which some persons maintained were more full of
interest than our own times. Counsellor Knapp defended this opinion so
warmly that the lady of the house immediately went over to his side,
and both exclaimed against Oersted's Essays on Ancient and Modern
Times, in which the preference is given to our own. The counsellor
considered the times of the Danish king, Hans, as the noblest and
happiest.

The conversation on this topic was only interrupted for a moment
by the arrival of a newspaper, which did not, however, contain much
worth reading, and while it is still going on we will pay a visit to
the ante-room, in which cloaks, sticks, and goloshes were carefully
placed. Here sat two maidens, one young, and the other old, as if they
had come and were waiting to accompany their mistresses home; but on
looking at them more closely, it could easily be seen that they were
no common servants. Their shapes were too graceful, their
complexions too delicate, and the cut of their dresses much too
elegant. They were two fairies. The younger was not Fortune herself,
but the chambermaid of one of Fortune's attendants, who carries
about her more trifling gifts. The elder one, who was named Care,
looked rather gloomy; she always goes about to perform her own
business in person; for then she knows it is properly done. They
were telling each other where they had been during the day. The
messenger of Fortune had only transacted a few unimportant matters;
for instance, she had preserved a new bonnet from a shower of rain,
and obtained for an honest man a bow from a titled nobody, and so
on; but she had something extraordinary to relate, after all.

"I must tell you," said she, "that to-day is my birthday; and in
honor of it I have been intrusted with a pair of goloshes, to
introduce amongst mankind. These goloshes have the property of
making every one who puts them on imagine himself in any place he
wishes, or that he exists at any period. Every wish is fulfilled at
the moment it is expressed, so that for once mankind have the chance
of being happy. "

"No," replied Care; "you may depend upon it that whoever puts on
those goloshes will be very unhappy, and bless the moment in which
he can get rid of them. "

"What are you thinking of? " replied the other. "Now see; I will
place them by the door; some one will take them instead of his own,
and he will be the happy man. "

This was the end of their conversation.


WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COUNSELLOR

It was late when Counsellor Knapp, lost in thought about the times
of King Hans, desired to return home; and fate so ordered it that he
put on the goloshes of Fortune instead of his own, and walked out into
the East Street. Through the magic power of the goloshes, he was at
once carried back three hundred years, to the times of King Hans,
for which he had been longing when he put them on. Therefore he
immediately set his foot into the mud and mire of the street, which in
those days possessed no pavement.

"Why, this is horrible; how dreadfully dirty it is! " said the
counsellor; "and the whole pavement has vanished, and the lamps are all
out. "

The moon had not yet risen high enough to penetrate the thick
foggy air, and all the objects around him were confused together in
the darkness. At the nearest corner, a lamp hung before a picture of
the Madonna; but the light it gave was almost useless, for he only
perceived it when he came quite close and his eyes fell on the painted
figures of the Mother and Child.

"That is most likely a museum of art," thought he, "and they
have forgotten to take down the sign. "

Two men, in the dress of olden times, passed by him.

"What odd figures! " thought he; "they must be returning from
some masquerade. "

Suddenly he heard the sound of a drum and fifes, and then a
blazing light from torches shone upon him. The counsellor stared
with astonishment as he beheld a most strange procession pass before
him. First came a whole troop of drummers, beating their drums very
cleverly; they were followed by life-guards, with longbows and
crossbows. The principal person in the procession was a
clerical-looking gentleman. The astonished counsellor asked what it
all meant, and who the gentleman might be.

"That is the bishop of Zealand. "

"Good gracious! " he exclaimed; "what in the world has happened
to the bishop? what can he be thinking about? " Then he shook his
head and said, "It cannot possibly be the bishop himself. "

While musing on this strange affair, and without looking to the
right or left, he walked on through East Street and over Highbridge
Place. The bridge, which he supposed led to Palace Square, was nowhere
to be found; but instead, he saw a bank and some shallow water, and
two people, who sat in a boat.

"Does the gentleman wish to be ferried over the Holm? " asked one.

"To the Holm! " exclaimed the counsellor, not knowing in what age
he was now existing; "I want to go to Christian's Haven, in Little
Turf Street. " The men stared at him. "Pray tell me where the bridge
is! " said he. "It is shameful that the lamps are not lighted here, and
it is as muddy as if one were walking in a marsh. " But the more he
talked with the boatmen the less they could understand each other.

"I don't understand your outlandish talk," he cried at last,
angrily turning his back upon them. He could not, however, find the
bridge nor any railings.

"What a scandalous condition this place is in," said he; never,
certainly, had he found his own times so miserable as on this evening.
"I think it will be better for me to take a coach; but where are
they? " There was not one to be seen! "I shall be obliged to go back to
the king's new market," said he, "where there are plenty of
carriages standing, or I shall never reach Christian's Haven. " Then he
went towards East Street, and had nearly passed through it, when the
moon burst forth from a cloud.

"Dear me, what have they been erecting here? " he cried, as he
caught sight of the East gate, which in olden times used to stand at
the end of East Street. However, he found an opening through which
he passed, and came out upon where he expected to find the new market.
Nothing was to be seen but an open meadow, surrounded by a few bushes,
through which ran a broad canal or stream. A few miserable-looking
wooden booths, for the accommodation of Dutch watermen, stood on the
opposite shore.

"Either I behold a fata morgana, or I must be tipsy," groaned
the counsellor. "What can it be? What is the matter with me? " He
turned back in the full conviction that he must be ill. In walking
through the street this time, he examined the houses more closely;
he found that most of them were built of lath and plaster, and many
had only a thatched roof.

"I am certainly all wrong," said he, with a sigh; "and yet I only
drank one glass of punch. But I cannot bear even that, and it was very
foolish to give us punch and hot salmon; I shall speak about it to our
hostess, the agent's lady. Suppose I were to go back now and say how
ill I feel, I fear it would look so ridiculous, and it is not very
likely that I should find any one up. " Then he looked for the house,
but it was not in existence.

"This is really frightful; I cannot even recognize East Street.
Not a shop to be seen; nothing but old, wretched, tumble-down
houses, just as if I were at Roeskilde or Ringstedt. Oh, I really must
be ill! It is no use to stand upon ceremony. But where in the world is
the agent's house. There is a house, but it is not his; and people
still up in it, I can hear. Oh dear! I certainly am very queer. " As he
reached the half-open door, he saw a light and went in. It was a
tavern of the olden times, and seemed a kind of beershop. The room had
the appearance of a Dutch interior. A number of people, consisting
of seamen, Copenhagen citizens, and a few scholars, sat in deep
conversation over their mugs, and took very little notice of the new
comer.

"Pardon me," said the counsellor, addressing the landlady, "I do
not feel quite well, and I should be much obliged if you will send for
a fly to take me to Christian's Haven. " The woman stared at him and
shook her head. Then she spoke to him in German. The counsellor
supposed from this that she did not understand Danish; he therefore
repeated his request in German. This, as well as his singular dress,
convinced the woman that he was a foreigner. She soon understood,
however, that he did not find himself quite well, and therefore
brought him a mug of water. It had something of the taste of seawater,
certainly, although it had been drawn from the well outside. Then
the counsellor leaned his head on his hand, drew a deep breath, and
pondered over all the strange things that had happened to him.

"Is that to-day's number of the Day? " he asked, quite
mechanically, as he saw the woman putting by a large piece of paper.
She did not understand what he meant, but she handed him the sheet; it
was a woodcut, representing a meteor, which had appeared in the town
of Cologne.

"That is very old," said the counsellor, becoming quite cheerful
at the sight of this antique drawing. "Where did you get this singular
sheet? It is very interesting, although the whole affair is a fable.
Meteors are easily explained in these days; they are northern
lights, which are often seen, and are no doubt caused by electricity. "

Those who sat near him, and heard what he said, looked at him in
great astonishment, and one of them rose, took off his hat
respectfully, and said in a very serious manner, "You must certainly
be a very learned man, monsieur. "

"Oh no," replied the counsellor; "I can only discourse on topics
which every one should understand. "

"Modestia is a beautiful virtue," said the man. "Moreover, I
must add to your speech mihi secus videtur; yet in this case I would
suspend my judicium. "

"May I ask to whom I have the pleasure of speaking? "

"I am a Bachelor of Divinity," said the man. This answer satisfied
the counsellor. The title agreed with the dress.

"This is surely," thought he, "an old village schoolmaster, a
perfect original, such as one meets with sometimes even in Jutland. "

"This is not certainly a locus docendi," began the man; "still I
must beg you to continue the conversation. You must be well read in
ancient lore. "

"Oh yes," replied the counsellor; "I am very fond of reading
useful old books, and modern ones as well, with the exception of
every-day stories, of which we really have more than enough.

"Every-day stories? " asked the bachelor.

"Yes, I mean the new novels that we have at the present day. "

"Oh," replied the man, with a smile; "and yet they are very witty,
and are much read at Court. The king likes especially the romance of
Messeurs Iffven and Gaudian, which describes King Arthur and his
knights of the round table. He has joked about it with the gentlemen
of his Court. "

"Well, I have certainly not read that," replied the counsellor. "I
suppose it is quite new, and published by Heiberg. "

"No," answered the man, "it is not by Heiberg; Godfred von
Gehman brought it out. "

"Oh, is he the publisher? That is a very old name," said the
counsellor; "was it not the name of the first publisher in Denmark? "

"Yes; and he is our first printer and publisher now," replied
the scholar.

So far all had passed off very well; but now one of the citizens
began to speak of a terrible pestilence which had been raging a few
years before, meaning the plague of 1484. The counsellor thought he
referred to the cholera, and they could discuss this without finding
out the mistake. The war in 1490 was spoken of as quite recent. The
English pirates had taken some ships in the Channel in 1801, and the
counsellor, supposing they referred to these, agreed with them in
finding fault with the English. The rest of the talk, however, was not
so agreeable; every moment one contradicted the other. The good
bachelor appeared very ignorant, for the simplest remark of the
counsellor seemed to him either too bold or too fantastic. They stared
at each other, and when it became worse the bachelor spoke in Latin,
in the hope of being better understood; but it was all useless.

"How are you now? " asked the landlady, pulling the counsellor's
sleeve.

Then his recollection returned to him. In the course of
conversation he had forgotten all that had happened previously.

"Goodness me! where am I? " said he.
It bewildered him as he
thought of it.

"We will have some claret, or mead, or Bremen beer," said one of
the guests; "will you drink with us? "

Two maids came in. One of them had a cap on her head of two
colors. They poured out the wine, bowed their heads, and withdrew.

The counsellor felt a cold shiver run all over him. "What is this?
what does it mean? " said he; but he was obliged to drink with them,
for they overpowered the good man with their politeness. He became
at last desperate; and when one of them said he was tipsy, he did
not doubt the man's word in the least--only begged them to get a
droschky; and then they thought he was speaking the Muscovite
language. Never before had he been in such rough and vulgar company.
"One might believe that the country was going back to heathenism,"
he observed. "This is the most terrible moment of my life. "

Just then it came into his mind that he would stoop under the
table, and so creep to the door. He tried it; but before he reached
the entry, the rest discovered what he was about, and seized him by
the feet, when, luckily for him, off came the goloshes, and with
them vanished the whole enchantment. The counsellor now saw quite
plainly a lamp, and a large building behind it; everything looked
familiar and beautiful. He was in East Street, as it now appears; he
lay with his legs turned towards a porch, and just by him sat the
watchman asleep.

"Is it possible that I have been lying here in the street
dreaming? " said he. "Yes, this is East Street; how beautifully
bright and gay it looks! It is quite shocking that one glass of
punch should have upset me like this. "

Two minutes afterwards he sat in a droschky, which was to drive
him to Christian's Haven. He thought of all the terror and anxiety
which he had undergone, and felt thankful from his heart for the
reality and comfort of modern times, which, with all their errors,
were far better than those in which he so lately found himself.


THE WATCHMAN'S ADVENTURES

"Well, I declare, there lies a pair of goloshes," said the
watchman. "No doubt, they belong to the lieutenant who lives up
stairs. They are lying just by his door. " Gladly would the honest
man have rung, and given them in, for a light was still burning, but
he did not wish to disturb the other people in the house; so he let
them lie. "These things must keep the feet very warm," said he;
"they are of such nice soft leather. " Then he tried them on, and
they fitted his feet exactly. "Now," said he, "how droll things are in
this world! There's that man can lie down in his warm bed, but he does
not do so. There he goes pacing up and down the room. He ought to be a
happy man. He has neither wife nor children, and he goes out into
company every evening. Oh, I wish I were he; then I should be a
happy man. "

As he uttered this wish, the goloshes which he had put on took
effect, and the watchman at once became the lieutenant. There he stood
in his room, holding a little piece of pink paper between his fingers,
on which was a poem,--a poem written by the lieutenant himself. Who
has not had, for once in his life, a moment of poetic inspiration? and
at such a moment, if the thoughts are written down, they flow in
poetry. The following verses were written on the pink paper:--

"OH WERE I RICH!

"Oh were I rich! How oft, in youth's bright hour,
When youthful pleasures banish every care,
I longed for riches but to gain a power,
The sword and plume and uniform to wear!
The riches and the honor came for me;
Yet still my greatest wealth was poverty:
Ah, help and pity me!

"Once in my youthful hours, when gay and free,
A maiden loved me; and her gentle kiss,
Rich in its tender love and purity,
Taught me, alas! too much of earthly bliss.
Dear child! She only thought of youthful glee;
She loved no wealth, but fairy tales and me.
Thou knowest: ah, pity me!

"Oh were I rich! again is all my prayer:
That child is now a woman, fair and free,
As good and beautiful as angels are.
Oh, were I rich in lovers' poetry,
To tell my fairy tale, love's richest lore!
But no; I must be silent--I am poor.
Ah, wilt thou pity me?

"Oh were I rich in truth and peace below,
I need not then my poverty bewail.
To thee I dedicate these lines of woe;
Wilt thou not understand the mournful tale?
A leaf on which my sorrows I relate--
Dark story of a darker night of fate.
Ah, bless and pity me! "


"Well, yes; people write poems when they are in love, but a wise
man will not print them. A lieutenant in love, and poor. This is a
triangle, or more properly speaking, the half of the broken die of
fortune. " The lieutenant felt this very keenly, and therefore leaned
his head against the window-frame, and sighed deeply. "The poor
watchman in the street," said he, "is far happier than I am. He
knows not what I call poverty. He has a home, a wife and children, who
weep at his sorrow and rejoice at his joy. Oh, how much happier I
should be could I change my being and position with him, and pass
through life with his humble expectations and hopes! Yes, he is indeed
happier than I am. "

At this moment the watchman again became a watchman; for having,
through the goloshes of Fortune, passed into the existence of the
lieutenant, and found himself less contented than he expected, he
had preferred his former condition, and wished himself again a
watchman. "That was an ugly dream," said he, "but droll enough. It
seemed to me as if I were the lieutenant up yonder, but there was no
happiness for me. I missed my wife and the little ones, who are always
ready to smother me with kisses. " He sat down again and nodded, but he
could not get the dream out of his thoughts, and he still had the
goloshes on his feet. A falling star gleamed across the sky. "There
goes one! " cried he. "However, there are quite enough left; I should
very much like to examine these a little nearer, especially the
moon, for that could not slip away under one's hands. The student, for
whom my wife washes, says that when we die we shall fly from one
star to another. If that were true, it would be very delightful, but I
don't believe it. I wish I could make a little spring up there now;
I would willingly let my body lie here on the steps. "

There are certain things in the world which should be uttered very
cautiously; doubly so when the speaker has on his feet the goloshes of
Fortune. Now we shall hear what happened to the watchman.

Nearly every one is acquainted with the great power of steam; we
have proved it by the rapidity with which we can travel, both on a
railroad or in a steamship across the sea. But this speed is like
the movements of the sloth, or the crawling march of the snail, when
compared to the swiftness with which light travels; light flies
nineteen million times faster than the fleetest race-horse, and
electricity is more rapid still. Death is an electric shock which we
receive in our hearts, and on the wings of electricity the liberated
soul flies away swiftly, the light from the sun travels to our earth
ninety-five millions of miles in eight minutes and a few seconds;
but on the wings of electricity, the mind requires only a second to
accomplish the same distance. The space between the heavenly bodies
is, to thought, no farther than the distance which we may have to walk
from one friend's house to another in the same town; yet this electric
shock obliges us to use our bodies here below, unless, like the
watchman, we have on the goloshes of Fortune.

In a very few seconds the watchman had travelled more than two
hundred thousand miles to the moon, which is formed of a lighter
material than our earth, and may be said to be as soft as new fallen
snow. He found himself on one of the circular range of mountains which
we see represented in Dr. Madler's large map of the moon. The interior
had the appearance of a large hollow, bowl-shaped, with a depth
about half a mile from the brim. Within this hollow stood a large
town; we may form some idea of its appearance by pouring the white
of an egg into a glass of water. The materials of which it was built
seemed just as soft, and pictured forth cloudy turrets and sail-like
terraces, quite transparent, and floating in the thin air. Our earth
hung over his head like a great dark red ball. Presently he discovered
a number of beings, which might certainly be called men, but were very
different to ourselves. A more fantastical imagination than Herschel's
must have discovered these. Had they been placed in groups, and
painted, it might have been said, "What beautiful foliage! " They had
also a language of their own. No one could have expected the soul of
the watchman to understand it, and yet he did understand it, for our
souls have much greater capabilities then we are inclined to
believe. Do we not, in our dreams, show a wonderful dramatic talent?
each of our acquaintance appears to us then in his own character,
and with his own voice; no man could thus imitate them in his waking
hours. How clearly, too, we are reminded of persons whom we have not
seen for many years; they start up suddenly to the mind's eye with all
their peculiarities as living realities. In fact, this memory of the
soul is a fearful thing; every sin, every sinful thought it can
bring back, and we may well ask how we are to give account of "every
idle word" that may have been whispered in the heart or uttered with
the lips. The spirit of the watchman therefore understood very well
the language of the inhabitants of the moon. They were disputing about
our earth, and doubted whether it could be inhabited. The
atmosphere, they asserted, must be too dense for any inhabitants of
the moon to exist there. They maintained that the moon alone was
inhabited, and was really the heavenly body in which the old world
people lived. They likewise talked politics.

But now we will descend to East Street, and see what happened to
the watchman's body. He sat lifeless on the steps. His staff had
fallen out of his hand, and his eyes stared at the moon, about which
his honest soul was wandering.

"What is it o'clock, watchman? " inquired a passenger. But there
was no answer from the watchman.

The man then pulled his nose gently, which caused him to lose
his balance. The body fell forward, and lay at full length on the
ground as one dead.

All his comrades were very much frightened, for he seemed quite
dead; still they allowed him to remain after they had given notice
of what had happened; and at dawn the body was carried to the
hospital. We might imagine it to be no jesting matter if the soul of
the man should chance to return to him, for most probably it would
seek for the body in East Street without being able to find it. We
might fancy the soul inquiring of the police, or at the address
office, or among the missing parcels, and then at length finding it at
the hospital. But we may comfort ourselves by the certainty that the
soul, when acting upon its own impulses, is wiser than we are; it is
the body that makes it stupid.

As we have said, the watchman's body had been taken to the
hospital, and here it was placed in a room to be washed. Naturally,
the first thing done here was to take off the goloshes, upon which the
soul was instantly obliged to return, and it took the direct road to
the body at once, and in a few seconds the man's life returned to him.
He declared, when he quite recovered himself, that this had been the
most dreadful night he had ever passed; not for a hundred pounds would
he go through such feelings again. However, it was all over now.

The same day he was allowed to leave, but the goloshes remained at
the hospital.


THE EVENTFUL MOMENT--A MOST UNUSUAL JOURNEY

Every inhabitant of Copenhagen knows what the entrance to
Frederick's Hospital is like; but as most probably a few of those
who read this little tale may not reside in Copenhagen, we will give a
short description of it.

The hospital is separated from the street by an iron railing, in
which the bars stand so wide apart that, it is said, some very slim
patients have squeezed through, and gone to pay little visits in the
town. The most difficult part of the body to get through was the head;
and in this case, as it often happens in the world, the small heads
were the most fortunate. This will serve as sufficient introduction to
our tale. One of the young volunteers, of whom, physically speaking,
it might be said that he had a great head, was on guard that evening
at the hospital. The rain was pouring down, yet, in spite of these two
obstacles, he wanted to go out just for a quarter of an hour; it was
not worth while, he thought, to make a confidant of the porter, as
he could easily slip through the iron railings. There lay the
goloshes, which the watchman had forgotten. It never occurred to him
that these could be goloshes of Fortune. They would be very
serviceable to him in this rainy weather, so he drew them on. Now came
the question whether he could squeeze through the palings; he
certainly had never tried, so he stood looking at them. "I wish to
goodness my head was through," said he, and instantly, though it was
so thick and large, it slipped through quite easily. The goloshes
answered that purpose very well, but his body had to follow, and
this was impossible. "I am too fat," he said; "I thought my head would
be the worst, but I cannot get my body through, that is certain. " Then
he tried to pull his head back again, but without success; he could
move his neck about easily enough, and that was all. His first feeling
was one of anger, and then his spirits sank below zero. The goloshes
of Fortune had placed him in this terrible position, and unfortunately
it never occurred to him to wish himself free. No, instead of
wishing he kept twisting about, yet did not stir from the spot. The
rain poured, and not a creature could be seen in the street. The
porter's bell he was unable to reach, and however was he to get loose!
He foresaw that he should have to stay there till morning, and then
they must send for a smith to file away the iron bars, and that
would be a work of time. All the charity children would just be
going to school: and all the sailors who inhabited that quarter of the
town would be there to see him standing in the pillory. What a crowd
there would be. "Ha," he cried, "the blood is rushing to my head,
and I shall go mad. I believe I am crazy already; oh, I wish I were
free, then all these sensations would pass off. " This is just what
he ought to have said at first. The moment he had expressed the
thought his head was free. He started back, quite bewildered with
the fright which the goloshes of Fortune had caused him. But we must
not suppose it was all over; no, indeed, there was worse to come
yet. The night passed, and the whole of the following day; but no
one sent for the goloshes. In the evening a declamatory performance
was to take place at the amateur theatre in a distant street. The
house was crowded; among the audience was the young volunteer from the
hospital, who seemed to have quite forgotten his adventures of the
previous evening. He had on the goloshes; they had not been sent
for, and as the streets were still very dirty, they were of great
service to him. A new poem, entitled "My Aunt's Spectacles," was being
recited. It described these spectacles as possessing a wonderful
power; if any one put them on in a large assembly the people
appeared like cards, and the future events of ensuing years could be
easily foretold by them. The idea struck him that he should very
much like to have such a pair of spectacles; for, if used rightly,
they would perhaps enable him to see into the hearts of people,
which he thought would be more interesting than to know what was going
to happen next year; for future events would be sure to show
themselves, but the hearts of people never. "I can fancy what I should
see in the whole row of ladies and gentlemen on the first seat, if I
could only look into their hearts; that lady, I imagine, keeps a store
for things of all descriptions; how my eyes would wander about in that
collection; with many ladies I should no doubt find a large
millinery establishment. There is another that is perhaps empty, and
would be all the better for cleaning out. There may be some well
stored with good articles. Ah, yes," he sighed, "I know one, in
which everything is solid, but a servant is there already, and that is
the only thing against it. I dare say from many I should hear the
words, 'Please to walk in. ' I only wish I could slip into the hearts
like a little tiny thought. " This was the word of command for the
goloshes. The volunteer shrunk up together, and commenced a most
unusual journey through the hearts of the spectators in the first row.
The first heart he entered was that of a lady, but he thought he
must have got into one of the rooms of an orthopedic institution where
plaster casts of deformed limbs were hanging on the walls, with this
difference, that the casts in the institution are formed when the
patient enters, but here they were formed and preserved after the good
people had left. These were casts of the bodily and mental deformities
of the lady's female friends carefully preserved. Quickly he passed
into another heart, which had the appearance of a spacious, holy
church, with the white dove of innocence fluttering over the altar.
Gladly would he have fallen on his knees in such a sacred place; but
he was carried on to another heart, still, however, listening to the
tones of the organ, and feeling himself that he had become another and
a better man. The next heart was also a sanctuary, which he felt
almost unworthy to enter; it represented a mean garret, in which lay a
sick mother; but the warm sunshine streamed through the window, lovely
roses bloomed in a little flowerbox on the roof, two blue birds sang
of childlike joys, and the sick mother prayed for a blessing on her
daughter. Next he crept on his hands and knees through an overfilled
butcher's shop; there was meat, nothing but meat, wherever he stepped;
this was the heart of a rich, respectable man, whose name is doubtless
in the directory. Then he entered the heart of this man's wife; it was
an old, tumble-down pigeon-house; the husband's portrait served as a
weather-cock; it was connected with all the doors, which opened and
shut just as the husband's decision turned. The next heart was a
complete cabinet of mirrors, such as can be seen in the Castle of
Rosenberg. But these mirrors magnified in an astonishing degree; in
the middle of the floor sat, like the Grand Lama, the insignificant
I of the owner, astonished at the contemplation of his own features.
At his next visit he fancied he must have got into a narrow
needlecase, full of sharp needles: "Oh," thought he, "this must be the
heart of an old maid;" but such was not the fact; it belonged to a
young officer, who wore several orders, and was said to be a man of
intellect and heart.

The poor volunteer came out of the last heart in the row quite
bewildered. He could not collect his thoughts, and imagined his
foolish fancies had carried him away. "Good gracious! " he sighed, "I
must have a tendency to softening of the brain, and here it is so
exceedingly hot that the blood is rushing to my head. " And then
suddenly recurred to him the strange event of the evening before, when
his head had been fixed between the iron railings in front of the
hospital. "That is the cause of it all! " he exclaimed, "I must do
something in time. A Russian bath would be a very good thing to
begin with. I wish I were lying on one of the highest shelves. " Sure
enough, there he lay on an upper shelf of a vapor bath, still in his
evening costume, with his boots and goloshes on, and the hot drops
from the ceiling falling on his face. "Ho! " he cried, jumping down and
rushing towards the plunging bath. The attendant stopped him with a
loud cry, when he saw a man with all his clothes on. The volunteer
had, however, presence of mind enough to whisper, "It is for a wager;"
but the first thing he did, when he reached his own room, was to put a
large blister on his neck, and another on his back, that his crazy fit
might be cured. The next morning his back was very sore, which was all
he gained by the goloshes of Fortune.


THE CLERK'S TRANSFORMATION

The watchman, whom we of course have not forgotten, thought, after
a while, of the goloshes which he had found and taken to the hospital;
so he went and fetched them. But neither the lieutenant nor any one in
the street could recognize them as their own, so he gave them up to
the police. "They look exactly like my own goloshes," said one of
the clerks, examining the unknown articles, as they stood by the
side of his own. "It would require even more than the eye of a
shoemaker to know one pair from the other. "

"Master clerk," said a servant who entered with some papers. The
clerk turned and spoke to the man; but when he had done with him, he
turned to look at the goloshes again, and now he was in greater
doubt than ever as to whether the pair on the right or on the left
belonged to him. "Those that are wet must be mine," thought he; but he
thought wrong, it was just the reverse. The goloshes of Fortune were
the wet pair; and, besides, why should not a clerk in a police
office be wrong sometimes? So he drew them on, thrust his papers
into his pocket, placed a few manuscripts under his arm, which he
had to take with him, and to make abstracts from at home. Then, as
it was Sunday morning and the weather very fine, he said to himself,
"A walk to Fredericksburg will do me good:" so away he went.

There could not be a quieter or more steady young man than this
clerk.