No More Learning

The minds
of the men seemed to go back to the time when they were not
so alone, but were part of a great and busy army; and some of
them fell to talking of the past, and the battles they had figured
in, and of the comrades they had lost. They told them off in a
slow and colorless way, as if it were all part of the past as much
as the dead they named. One hundred and nineteen times they
had been in action. Only seventeen men were left of the eighty
odd who had first enlisted in the battery; and of these four were
at home crippled for life. Two of the oldest men had been
among the half-dozen who had fallen in the skirmish just the
day before.
It looked tolerably hard to be killed that way after


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THOMAS NELSON PAGE
10951
passing for four years through such battles as they had been in;
and both had wives and children at home, too, and not a cent to
leave them to their names. They agreed calmly that they'd have
to "sort of look after them a little," if they ever got home.
These were some of the things they talked about as they pulled
their old worn coats about them, stuffed their thin, weather-
stained hands in their ragged pockets to warm them, and squatted
down under the breastwork to keep a little out of the wind. One
thing they talked about a good deal was something to eat. They
described meals they had had at one time or another as personal
adventures, and discussed the chances of securing others in the
future as if they were prizes of fortune. One listening, and
seeing their thin, worn faces and their wasted frames, might have
supposed they were starving; and they were, but they did not
say so.
Towards the middle of the afternoon there was a sudden
excitement in the camp. A dozen men saw them at the same
time: a squad of three men down the road at the farthest turn,
past their picket; but an advancing column could not have cre-
ated as much excitement, for the middle man carried a white
flag. In a minute every man in the battery was on the breast-
work. What could it mean! It was a long way off, nearly half a
mile, and the flag was small,-possibly only a pocket-handkerchief
or a napkin; but it was held aloft as a flag unmistakably. A
hundred conjectures were indulged in. Was it a summons to
surrender? A request for an armistice for some purpose? Or
was it a trick to ascertain their number and position? Some
held one view, some another. Some extreme ones thought a shot
ought to be fired over them to warn them not to come on: no
flags of truce were wanted. The old colonel, who had walked to
the edge of the plateau outside the redoubt, and taken his posi
tion where he could study the advancing figures with his field-
glass, had not poken. The lieutenant who was next in command
to him had walked out after him, and stood near him, from time
to time dropping a word or two of conjecture in a half-audible
tone: but the colonel had not answered a word; perhaps none
was expected. Suddenly he took his glass down, and gave an
order to the lieutenant: "Take two men and meet them at the
turn yonder; learn their business; and act as your best judgment
advises. If necessary to bring the messenger farther, bring only
the officer who has the ag, and halt him at that rock yonder,


## p. 10952 (#164) ##########################################

10952
THOMAS NELSON PAGE
where I will join him. " The tone was as placid as if such an
occurrence came every day. Two minutes later the lieutenant
was on his way down the mountain, and the colonel had the men
in ranks. His face was as grave and his manner as quiet as
usual, neither more nor less so. The men were in a state of
suppressed excitement. Having put them in charge of the second
sergeant, the colonel returned to the breastwork. The two offi-
cers were slowly ascending the hill, side by side; the bearer of
the flag, now easily distinguishable in his jaunty uniform as a
captain of cavalry, talking, and the lieutenant in faded gray, faced
with yet more faded red, walking beside him with a face white
even at that distance, and lips shut as though they would never
open again. They halted at the big bowlder which the colonel
had indicated, and the lieutenant, having saluted ceremoniously,
turned to come up to the camp; the colonel, however, went down
to meet him. The two men met, but there was no spoken ques-
tion; if the colonel inquired, it was only with the eyes. The
lieutenant spoke, however. "He says-" he began and stopped,
then began again -"he says General Lee-" again he choked,
then blurted out, "I believe it is all a lie-a damned lie. "
"Not dead? Not killed? " said the colonel quickly.
"No, not so bad as that: surrendered; surrendered his entire
army at Appomattox day before yesterday. I believe it is all a
damned lie," he broke out again, as if the hot denial relieved
him. The colonel simply turned away his face, and stepped a
pace or two off; and the two men stood motionless back to back
for more than a minute. Then the colonel stirred.
"Shall I go back with you? " the lieutenant asked huskily.
The colonel did not answer immediately. Then he said, "No:
go back to camp and await my return. ” He said nothing about
not speaking of the report. He knew it was not needed. Then
he went down the hill slowly alone, while the lieutenant went up
to the camp.
The interview between the two officers beside the bowlder
was not a long one. It consisted of a brief statement by the
Federal envoy of the fact of Lee's surrender two days before,
near Appomattox Court House, with the sources of his informa-
tion, coupled with a formal demand on the colonel for his sur-
render. To this the colonel replied that he had been detached
and put under command of another officer for a specific purpose;
and that his orders were to hold that pass, which he should do


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THOMAS NELSON PAGE
10953
until he was instructed otherwise by his superior in command.
With that they parted ceremoniously, the Federal captain return-
ing to where he had left his horse in charge of his companions.
a little below, and the old colonel coming slowly up the hill to
camp. The men were at once set to work to meet any attack
which might be made. They knew that the message was of
grave import, but not of how grave. They thought it meant
that another attack would be made immediately, and they sprang
to their work with renewed vigor, and a zeal as fresh as if it
were but the beginning and not the end.
The time wore on, however, and there was no demonstration
below, though hour after hour it was expected and even hoped
for. Just as the sun sank into a bed of blue cloud, a horseman
was seen coming up the darkened mountain from the eastward
side, and in a little while practiced eyes reported him one of
their own men - the sergeant who had been sent back the day
before for ammunition. He was alone, and had something white
before him on his horse-it could not be the ammunition; but
perhaps that might be coming on behind. Every step of his
jaded horse was anxiously watched. As he drew near, the lieu-
tenant, after a word with the colonel, walked down to meet him,
and there was a short colloquy in the muddy road: then they
came back together and slowly entered the camp- the sergeant
handing down a bag of corn which he had got somewhere below,
with the grim remark to his comrades, "There's your rations; "
and going at once to the colonel's camp-fire, a little to one side
among the trees, where the colonel awaited him. A long con-
ference was held: and then the sergeant left to take his luck
with his mess, who were already parching the corn he had
brought for their supper, while the lieutenant made the round of
the camp; leaving the colonel seated alone on a log by his camp-
fire. He sat without moving, hardly stirring, until the lieutenant
returned from his round. A minute later the men were called
from the guns and made to fall into line. They were silent,
tremulous with suppressed excitement; the most sun-burned and
weather-stained of them a little pale; the meanest, raggedest,
and most insignificant not unimpressive in the deep and solemn
silence with which they stood, their eyes fastened on the colonel,
waiting for him to speak. He stepped out in front of them;
slowly ran his eyes along the irregular line up and down, taking
in every man in his glance, resting on some longer than on


## p. 10954 (#166) ##########################################

THOMAS NELSON PAGE
10954
others, the older men. - then dropped them to the ground; and
then suddenly, as if with an effort, began to speak. His voice
had a somewhat metallic sound, as if it were restrained; but it
was otherwise the ordinary tone of command. It was not much
that he said:-simply that it had become his duty to acquaint
them with the information which he had received: that General
Lee had surrendered two days before at Appomattox Court
House, yielding to overwhelming numbers; that this afternoon,
when he had first heard the report, he had questioned its truth,
but that it had been confirmed by one of their own men, and no
longer admitted of doubt; that the rest of their own force, it was
learned, had been captured, or had disbanded, and the enemy
was now on both sides of the mountain: that a demand had been
made on him that morning to surrender too; but he had orders
which he felt held good until they were countermanded, and he
had declined. Later intelligence satisfied him that to attempt to
hold out further would be useless, and would involve needless
waste of life: he had determined, therefore, not to attempt to
hold their position longer; but to lead them out, if possible, so as
to avoid being made prisoners, and enable them to reach home
sooner and aid their families. His orders were not to let his
guns fall into the enemy's hands, and he should take the only
step possible to prevent it. In fifty minutes he should call the
battery into line once more, and roll the guns over the cliff into
the river; and immediately afterwards, leaving the wagons there,
he would try to lead them across the mountain, and as far as
they could go in a body without being liable to capture; and
then he should disband them, and his responsibility for them
would end. As it was necessary to make some preparations, he
would now dismiss them to prepare any rations they might have,
and get ready to march.
All this was in the formal manner of a common order of the
day; and the old colonel had spoken in measured sentences, with
little feeling in his voice. Not a man in the line had uttered
a word after the first sound half exclamation, half groan
which had burst from them at the announcement of Lee's sur-
render. After that they had stood in their tracks like rooted
trees, as motionless as those on the mountain behind them, their
eyes fixed on their commander; and only the quick heaving up
and down the dark line, as of horses over-laboring, told of the
emotion which was shaking them. The colonel, as he ended, half
-


## p. 10955 (#167) ##########################################

THOMAS NELSON PAGE
10955
turned to his subordinate officer at the end of the dim line, as
though he were about to turn the company over to him to be
dismissed; then faced the line again, and taking a step nearer,
with a sudden movement of his hands towards the men as though
he would have stretched them out to them, began again:-
"Men," he said, and his voice changed at the word, and
sounded like a father's or a brother's,-"My men, I cannot let
you go so. We were neighbors when the war began-many of
us, and some not here to-night; we have been more since then,
- comrades, brothers in arms; we have all stood for one thing,—
for Virginia and the South; we have all done our duty-tried to
do our duty; we have fought a good fight, and now it seems
to be over, and we have been overwhelmed by numbers, not
whipped- and we are going home. We have the future before.
us: we don't know just what it will bring, but we can stand a
good deal. We have proved it. Upon us depends the South in
the future as in the past. You have done your duty in the past;
you will not fail in the future. Go home and be honest, brave,
self-sacrificing, God-fearing citizens, as you have been soldiers,
and you need not fear for Virginia and the South. The War
may be over; but you will ever be ready to serve your country.
The end may not be as we wanted it, prayed for it, fought for
it; but we can trust God: the end in the end will be the best
that could be; even if the South is not free, she will be better
and stronger that she fought as she did. Go home and bring up
your children to love her; and though you may have nothing else
to leave them, you can leave them the heritage that they are
sons of men who were in Lee's army. "
He stopped; looked up and down the ranks again, which had
instinctively crowded together and drawn around him in a half-
circle; made a sign to the lieutenant to take charge, and turned
abruptly on his heel to walk away. But as he did so, the long
pent-up emotion burst forth. With a wild cheer the men seized
him; crowding around and hugging him, as with protestations,
prayers, sobs, oaths-broken, incoherent, inarticulate - they swore
to be faithful, to live loyal forever to the South, to him, to Lee.
Many of them cried like children; others offered to go down.
and have one more battle on the plain. The old colonel soothed
them, and quieted their excitement; and then gave a command
about the preparations to be made. This called them to order
at once; and in a few minutes the camp was as orderly and


## p. 10956 (#168) ##########################################

10956
THOMAS NELSON PAGE
quiet as usual: the fires were replenished; the scanty stores were
being overhauled; the place was selected and being got ready,
to roll the guns over the cliff; the camp was being ransacked
for such articles as could be carried, and all preparations were
being hastily made for their march.
The old colonel having completed his arrangements, sat down
by his camp-fire with paper and pencil, and began to write; and
as the men finished their work they gathered about in groups, at
first around their camp-fires, but shortly strolled over to where
the guns still stood at the breastwork, black and vague in the
darkness. Soon they were all assembled about the guns. One
after another they visited, closing around it and handling it from
muzzle to trail, as a man might a horse to try its sinew and
bone, or a child to feel its firmness and warmth. They were for
the most part silent; and when any sound came through the dusk
from them to the officers at their fire, it was murmurous and
fitful as of men speaking low and brokenly. There was no sound
of the noisy controversy which was generally heard, the give-and-
take of the camp-fire, the firing backwards and forwards that
went on on the march: if a compliment was paid a gun by one
of its special detachment, it was accepted by the others; in fact,
those who had generally run it down now seemed most anxious
to accord the piece praise. Presently a small number of the men
returned to a camp-fire, and building it up, seated themselves
about it, gathering closer and closer together until they were in
a little knot. One of them appeared to be writing, while two or
three took up flaming chunks from the fire and held them as
torches for him to see by. In time the entire company assembled
about them, standing in respectful silence, broken only occasion-
ally by a reply from one or another to some question from the
scribe. After a little there was a sound of a roll-call, and read-
ing and a short colloquy followed; and then two men, one with
a paper in his hand, approached the fire beside which the officers
sat still engaged.
"What is it, Harris? " said the colonel to the man with the
paper, who bore remnants of the chevrons of a sergeant on his
stained and faded jacket.
"If you please, sir," he said with a salute, "we have been
talking it over, and we'd like this paper to go in along with that
you're writing. " He held it out to the lieutenant, who was the
nearer and had reached forward to take it. "We s'pose you're


## p. 10957 (#169) ##########################################

THOMAS NELSON PAGE
10957
agoin' to bury it with the guns," he said hesitatingly, as he
handed it over.
"What is it? " asked the colonel, shading his eyes with his
hands.
"It's just a little list we made out in and among us," he said,
"with a few things we'd like to put in, so's if any one ever hauls
'em out they'll find it there to tell what the old battery was; and
if they don't, it'll be in one of 'em down thar till judgment, an'
it'll sort of ease our minds a bit. " He stopped and waited, as a
man who had delivered his message. The old colonel had risen
and taken the paper, and now held it with a firm grasp, as if it
might blow away with the rising wind. He did not say a word,
but his hand shook a little as he proceeded to fold it carefully;
and there was a burning gleam in his deep-set eyes, back under
his bushy gray brows.
"Will you sort of look over it, sir, if you think it's worth
while? We was in a sort of hurry, and we had to put it down
just as we come to it; we didn't have time to pick our ammuni-
tion: and it ain't written the best in the world, nohow. " He
waited again; and the colonel opened the paper and glanced
down at it mechanically. It contained first a roster, headed
by the list of six guns, named by name:
«Matthew," "Mark,"
"Luke," and "John," "The Eagle," and "The Cat"; then of
the men, beginning with the heading-
"Those killed. "
Then had followed, "Those wounded," but this was marked
out. Then came a roster of the company when it first entered
service; then of those who had joined afterward; then of those
who were present now. At the end of all there was this state-
ment, not very well written, nor wholly accurately spelt:-
"To Whom it may Concern: We, the above members of the old
battery known, etc. , of six guns, named, etc. , commanded by the said
Col. etc. , left on the 11th day of April, 1865, have made out this roll
of the battery, them as is gone and them as is left, to bury with
the guns, which the same we bury this night. We're all volunteers,
every man; we joined the army at the beginning of the war, and
we've stuck through to the end; sometimes we ain't had much to
eat, and sometimes we aint had nothin'; but we've fought the best
we could 119 battles and skirmishes as near as we can make out in
four years, and never lost a gun. Now we're agoin' home. We aint
1


## p. 10958 (#170) ##########################################

10958
THOMAS NELSON PAGE
surrendered; just disbanded; and we pledges ourselves to teach our
children to love the South and General Lee; and to come when we're
called anywheres an' anytime, so help us God. "
There was a dead silence whilst the colonel read.
""Tain't entirely accurate, sir, in one particular," said the ser-
geant apologetically: "but we thought it would be playin' it sort
o' low down on the Cat if we was to say we lost her, unless we
could tell about gittin' of her back, and the way she done since;
and we didn't have time to do all that. " He looked around as if
to receive the corroboration of the other men, which they signi-
fied by nods and shuffling.
The colonel said it was all right, and the paper should go
into the guns.
"If you please, sir, the guns are all loaded," said the sergeant;
"in and about our last charge, too: and we'd like to fire 'em off
once more, jist for old times' sake to remember 'em by, if you
don't think no harm could come of it? "
The colonel reflected a moment, and said it might be done:
they might fire each gun separately as they rolled it over, or
might get all ready and fire together, and then roll them over-
whichever they wished. This was satisfactory.
The men were then ordered to prepare to march immediately,
and withdrew for the purpose. The pickets were called in. In
a short time they were ready, horses and all, just as they would
have been to march ordinarily; except that the wagons and cais-
sons were packed over in one corner by the camp, with the har-
ness hung on poles beside them, and the guns stood in their old
places at the breastwork ready to defend the pass. The embers
of the sinking camp-fires threw a faint light on them standing
so still and silent. The old colonel took his place; and at a com-
mand from him in a somewhat low voice, the men, except a
detail left to hold the horses, moved into company-front facing
the guns. Not a word was spoken except the words of com-
mand. At the order each detachment went to its gun; the guns
were run back, and the men with their own hands ran them up
on the edge of the perpendicular bluff above the river, where,
sheer below, its waters washed its base, as if to face an enemy
on the black mountain the other side. The pieces stood ranged
in the order in which they had so often stood in battle; and
the gray, thin fog, rising slowly and silently from the river deep


## p. 10959 (#171) ##########################################

THOMAS NELSON PAGE
10959
down between the cliffs, and wreathing the mountain-side above,
might have been the smoke from some unearthly battle, fought
in the dim pass by ghostly guns, yet posted there in the dark-
ness, manned by phantom gunners, while phantom horses stood
behind, lit vaguely up by phantom camp-fires. At the given word
the laniards were pulled together; and together as one the six
black guns, belching flame and lead, roared their last challenge
on the misty night, sending a deadly hail of shot and shell, tear-
ing the trees and splintering the rocks of the farther side, and
sending the thunder reverberating through the pass and down
the mountain, startling from its slumber the sleeping camp on
the hills below, and driving the browsing deer and the prowling
mountain-fox in terror up the mountain.
There was silence among the men about the guns for one
brief instant: and then such a cheer burst forth as had never
broken from them even in battle; cheer on cheer, the long, wild,
old familiar "Rebel yell" for the guns they had fought with and
loved.
The noise had not died away, and the men behind were still
trying to quiet the frightened horses, when the sergeant - the
same who had written received from the hand of the colonel
a long package or roll, which contained the records of the bat-
tery furnished by the men and by the colonel himself, securely
wrapped to make them water-tight; and it was rammed down
the yet warm throat of the nearest gun,— the Cat,— and then
the gun was tamped to the muzzle to make her water-tight, and
like her sisters, was spiked, and her vent tamped tight. All
this took but a minute; and the next instant the guns were run
up once more to the edge of the cliff; and the men stood by
them with their hands still on them. A deadly silence fell on
the men, and even the horses behind seemed to feel the spell.
There was a long pause, in which not a breath was heard from
any man, and the soughing of the tree-tops above and the rush-
ing of the rapids below were the only sounds. They seemed to
come from far, very far away. Then the colonel said quietly,
"Let them go, and God be our helper; Amen. " There was the
noise in the darkness of trampling and scraping on the cliff-top
for a second,-the sound as of men straining hard together,—
and then with a pant it ceased all at once; and the men held
their breath to hear. One second of utter silence; then one
prolonged, deep, resounding splash, sending up a great mass of
―――


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10960
THOMAS NELSON PAGE
white foam as the brass pieces together plunged into the dark
water below, and then the soughing of the trees and the mur-
mur of the river came again with painful distinctness.
It was
full ten minutes before the colonel spoke, though there were
other sounds enough in the darkness; and some of the men, as
the dark outstretched bodies showed, were lying on the ground
flat on their faces. Then the colonel gave the command to fall
in, in the same quiet, grave tone he had used all night. The
line fell in, the men getting to their horses and mounting in
silence; the colonel put himself at their head and gave the order
of march, and the dark line turned in the darkness, crossed the
little plateau between the smoldering camp-fires and the spectral
caissons with the harness hanging beside them, and slowly en-
tered the dim charcoal-burner's track. Not a word was spoken
as they moved off. They might all have been phantoms. Only,
the sergeant in the rear, as he crossed the little breastwork
which ran along the upper side and marked the boundary of
the little camp, half turned and glanced at the dying fires, the
low, newly made mounds in the corner, the abandoned caissons,
and the empty redoubt, and said slowly, in a low voice to him-
self,-
"Well, by God! "


## p. 10961 (#173) ##########################################

10961
EDOUARD PAILLERON
(1834-)
HE modern French drama is rich in the portrayal of the
fashions and morals of the hour; and the office of the stage-
play as a satire without much theatricalism in it, is brill-
iantly exercised in the case of such men as Pailleron, Prevost,
Hervieu, and Donnay. M. Pailleron is in some sense the dean of the
contemporary school, which paints its pictures and speaks its lessons.
through the Comédie Française, the Odéon, and the Gymnase. Born
in Paris September 18th, 1834, the author of 'Le Monde où l'On
s'Ennuie' (Society Where One is Bored)
was a notary's clerk until about the year
1861, when he fairly made literature his
profession. As a novelist, a poet, and ulti-
mately as a playwright, he soon began to
gain recognized individuality. His first dis-
tinct success came in 1868, with the spark-
ling satiric comedy mentioned above, 'Le
Monde où l'On s'Ennuie'; although a pre-
ceding play, 'Le Monde où l'On s'Amuse
(Society Where One is Amused), had won
favor. 'Society Where One is Bored' was
produced in 1882, at the national theatre.
Its success was immediate, its run
long-continued, and it is extremely popu-
lar in repertory to-day. To its merits is due the elevation of its
author to the Académie in 1884. From that time, M. Pailleron's
career has been essentially theatrical. His conception of the drama
is not only that of the perceptive and skillful playwright, but the
man who delineates character with an exact and vivid literary touch.
These qualities have been still more perfectly exhibited in M. Pail-
leron's second great success of 1893,-one which even surpassed any
that had preceded it,- his complex comedy 'Cabotins'; and once more
was a Pailleron comedy the sensation of the Théâtre Français. For
one winter this sparkling piece, with its pictures of bohemian life,
its ironical depiction of bureaucracy and machine politics, and its
effectiveness merely as an emotional drama, held the attention of all
Paris; and in ceasing to be a novelty, 'Cabotins' does not appear to
have less vitality before a later public. In 1896 M. Pailleron (who
ÉDOUARD PAILLERON
was
XIX-686



## p. 10962 (#174) ##########################################

10962
ÉDOUARD PAILLERON
has gradually become a more deliberate worker in the drama, putting
forth his pieces with considerable intervals between them) produced at
the Théâtre Français two small social comedies, or what the French
call "proverbes," that is to say, little sketches in two or three scenes
only, cleverly illustrating some familiar saying,-collectively entitled
'Better Try Gentleness than-Force. ' These trifles, however, have
not been significant in adding to his reputation.
<
The finest flower of Pailleron's talent undoubtedly is to be found
in 'Le Monde où l'On s'Ennuie,' with its studies of drawing-room
politics, its contrasts of spontaneous human nature with tiresome
formality, and its amusing situations. But Cabotins' is not a whit
inferior to it as a tableau of contrasting phases of French life, in-
cluding an amusing portrayal of a temperamental and adroit young
politician, a natural manoeuvrer and leader in the race; and there
are also admirable scenes that range from the frolicsomeness of an
artist's lodging-house to a drawing-room in the aristocratic centre of
Paris. The quality of clear conception, the gift of an admirably just
literary expression, are of the essence of M. Pailleron's best work.
Like Dumas, he is a portrait-maker and a censor through the play-
house-though concerning himself with higher moral and social
problems than the author of 'La Dame aux Camellias' and 'Le Fils
Naturel. '
SOCIETY WHERE ONE IS BORED
From 'Le Monde où l'On s'Ennuie'
[The scene represents a small drawing-room, partly library and partly
reception-room, opening upon a much larger apartment, in the residence of
the Countess de Céran. Conspicuous is a huge table covered with journals,
formidable-looking reviews, and "blue-books. " A general air of formality
and oppressiveness.
François, a particularly formal-looking valet, is searching
among the papers heaped on the table for a lost letter (which becomes amus-
ingly essential to complications of the plot later in the play). As he is turn-
ing over things, Paul Raymond and his wife Jeanne, who have been asked
to pay a visit of a few days to Madame de Céran, enter the room. They
have apparently just arrived from the railway station, are carrying their hand-
luggage, and are a young and lively-looking married pair. ]
FRAN
RANÇOIS [at the table] - Hunt! hunt! [turning over the papers
again]-Colonial Review, Diplomatic Review, Archæological
Review
Jeanne-Ah! some one in sight at last. [Calling to François
gayly. ] Is Madame de Céran-
-


## p. 10963 (#175) ##########################################

ÉDOUARD PAILLERON
10963
Paul [catching hold of her hand, and in a low voice] - Keep
quiet! [Gravely to François. ] Is Madame the Countess de Céran
at home?
François - Yes, monsieur.
Jeanne [gayly]- Very well; then go and tell her that Mon-
sieur and Madame Paul Raymond-
Paul [catching hold of her hand again, and speaking again in
a very formal tone] - Will you kindly inform her that M. Ray-
mond, sous-préfet of Agenis,* and Madame Raymond, have come
from Paris, and are waiting her here.
---
Jeanne [interrupting] - And that-
Paul [with the same alternation of manner and tone as before]
- Will you keep quiet! [To François. ] Go, my friend.
François [evidently impressed] - Yes, yes; Monsieur le Sous-
Préfet. [Aside. ] They are a newly married couple! [Aloud. ]
Permit me to relieve Monsieur le Sous-Préfet.
me-
[François takes their traveling-bags and rugs and goes out. ]
Jeanne-That is well enough; but, Paul, will you kindly tell
Paul- No "Paul" here, if you please. You will have to call
me "M. Raymond," my dear, from the minute you set foot in
this house.
-
Jeanne- What do you mean? Ridiculous! And you say that
with such an expression on your face! [Laughing. ]
Paul [with an assumed severity]-Jeanne, no laughing here,
I beg of you.
Jeanne - Really, Paul, are you going to scold me? Nonsense!
[She throws her arms around his neck. Paul disengages himself,
and draws away from her reproachfully. ]
Paul-Unlucky creature! That was the only thing that was
lacking! Cannot you restrain yourself?
Jeanne [surprised] — Really, Paul, you begin to bore me.
Paul-Ah! Precisely! Now that time you sounded the very
keynote of things. Have you forgotten already all that I have
been saying to you on the railway this morning?
Jeanne-No; but I thought you were joking.
*The office of sous-préfet in the French municipal system is one subor-
dinate to that of préfet, which is practically a mayoralty.


## p. 10964 (#176) ##########################################

10964
ÉDOUARD PAILLERON
Paul [horrified]-Joking! Joking in this place! See here,
Jeanne, do you wish to become the wife of a préfet or not?
Yes or no?
Jeanne Why, yes; if it is anything to you.
Paul -Very well then; now listen to me once more, and do
be careful. Here we are. The Countess of Céran has done me
the honor to ask me to present my young wife to her, and to
spend some days at her château de Saint-Germain. Now the
social circle of Madame de Céran, as a centre of politics, is one
of the three or four most important in Paris.
You think you
have come here on a visit of pleasure. Not a bit of it! We are
not here at all to amuse ourselves. I have come here only a
sous-préfet, and I propose to go out of it a full préfet; and that
good thing- my promotion - depends on three persons: on Ma-
dame de Céran, on myself, and on you.
Jeanne-On me! What have I got to do with it?
Paul-A great deal. My dear Jeanne, the world judges a
man by his wife, and it is for that reason I want to put you on
your guard. This is no place for you to be your natural and
lively self. My dear little girl, you must put on a manner suit-
able to the task that we have in hand,-gravity without arro-
gance, a sweetly thoughtful smile; you must keep your eyes open,
listen carefully, talk little. Oh, I don't mean to say you must
not be complimentary to people. No, as much of that as you
choose: and you may also quote - that is a very good thing,
though they must be short quotations-good, deep ones. In
physiology you must allude to Hegel; in literature you must cite
Richter; in politics-
-
-
--
Jeanne But, Paul, I cannot talk politics.
Paul [severely]- Here all the women talk politics.
Jeanne [dolefully]-I don't understand a thing about it.
Paul-The women here don't understand a thing about it,
but that doesn't make any difference: you must talk it all the
same. Cite Pufendorf and Machiavelli as if they had been your
relatives; allude to the Council of Trent as if you had presided
at it. As to your amusements—well, while you are here, you
can expect chamber music, walks around the garden, whist; — that
is all I can promise you: and so, what with only high-necked
dresses, and the few words of Latin that I have put into your
head,-why, my dear, I will wager that before a week is over,
-


## p. 10965 (#177) ##########################################

ÉDOUARD PAILLERON
10965
people will say about you: "Now that little Madame Raymond,
she is simply made to be the wife of a statesman! " And in the
kind of society where we are just now, let me tell you that when
people say that a woman is made to be the wife of a statesman,
her husband is not very far from being one.
Jeanne-What! You wish to be a statesman!
Paul-Yes! So that I need not be an exception to everybody
else!
Jeanne-But since Madame de Céran belongs to the Opposi-
tion, to what post can she help you?
Paul- Dear simpleton that you are! In whatever concerns
political places, my dear child, between the Conservatives and
their opponents there is only a mere shade of difference. The
Conservatives do the asking, and the people that belong to the
Opposition do the accepting. No, no, Jeanne, once for all, it is
here in this very house that are made—and more than made —
reputations, situations, elections, and all that sort of thing. Such
a fashionable house as this, where under the excuse of talking
about literature, fine arts, even the clumsy wire-pullers bring
about their purposes,- such a house as this, I say, is the back
door of the ministries, the ante-room of academies, the laboratory
of success.
Jeanne- How dreadful! But what sort of society is there
here?
Paul Society here, my child, is a sort of Hôtel de Ram-
bouillet in 1881: it is a society where people talk and where peo-
ple pose, where pedantry takes the place of science, sentimentality
that of sentiment, and a silly fussing that of delicacy; where
no one ever says what he thinks, and where no one ever thinks
what he says; where keeping at whatever you have in your mind
to bring about is a special policy; where friendship is calculation;
where even gallantry is a means of managing things: it is a so-
ciety where one sucks his cane in the vestibule and chews on his
tongue in the drawing-room. In a word, a very serious society
indeed!
Jeanne-But then, that is the society where one is always
bored.
-
Paul-Precisely.
Jeanne-But if one is bored there, what influence can it have?
Paul What influence! Ah, innocence! innocence! What in-
fluence, if it bores you? An enormous influence! Don't you see
-


## p. 10966 (#178) ##########################################

10966
ÉDOUARD PAILLERON
that as French people, we have a horror of boredom which we
carry almost to the point of veneration? To a Frenchman, being
bored is a terrible deity, whose worship is carried on in full
dress. The Frenchman does not understand a serious affair ex-
cept under that form of worship. I don't tell you that he always
keeps it up, but he does not believe it any the less firmly -
preferring to believe it rather than really to see much of it.
We French people, gay at heart, have grown into a habit of
despising so to be; we have lost our faith in the good sense of
open laughter; a people skeptical, talkative, has come to put faith
in those who are silent. A race expansive and cheerful has
come to allow itself to be imposed upon by the pedantic solem-
nity, by the pretentious nullity, of people wearing white cravats;
yes, in politics, in science, in art, in literature, in everything!
We make fun of them, we hate them, we run away from them
like the plague; but somehow they alone have won our secret
admiration and absolute confidence. What influence, then, does
boredom have? Ah, my dear child, learn that there are in the
world only two sorts of people: those who cannot submit to being
bored, and who are nothing at all; and those who can submit to
being bored, and who are simply everything,- besides those who
habitually bore others!
Jeanne [with a gesture of disappointment]-To a charming
household you have brought me on a visit, you wretched man!
Paul [very solemnly]- Jeanne, do you wish to be the wife of
a préfet - yes or no?
Jeanne-Oh, really, I simply never could-
Paul-Nonsense! You can put up with it eight days.
Jeanne-Eight days? Without talking, without laughing!
Without even embracing you!
Paul Certainly not, before other people; but when we are
alone by ourselves - and then in corners, now do behave your-
self, that will be charming. Why, I'll give you regular rendez-
vous-in the garden, anywhere-just as we used to do before.
our marriage, you remember.
Jeanne — Oh, very well then, it's all right! It's all right! I
shall get on somehow. [She opens the piano, and begins to play
a lively air from the Fille de Madame Angot. ']
Paul [alarmed]-Stop! stop! what are you playing?
Jeanne- Why, it is from the operetta that we heard yester-
day.
---


## p. 10967 (#179) ##########################################

ÉDOUARD PAILLERON
10967
Paul Thoughtless creature! Now see how you profit by the
sober lessons that I have been giving you! If any one should
come! If any one should hear you! Will you be sensible!
[François appears at the end of the room. ] Too late! [Jeanne
cleverly changes the air of the opera to a grave passage in a
symphony from Beethoven. ] Beethoven! Bravo! [Pretends to
follow the air with great attention. ] Ah' decidedly there is no
music except that of the Conservatory!
-
Translated for A Library of the World's Best Literature by E. Irenæus
Stevenson
A SCIENTIST AMONG LADIES
From The World of Boredom'
[In M. de Bellac, the hero of the following scene, the dramatist portrays
the superficial, pretentious, and conceited man of letters, who passes for a deep
thinker, and probably believes himself such; and whose practical success is
largely due to the adulation of a coterie of women, infatuated with what they
consider philosophy, but in reality carried away by mere sentimentality for
its drawing-room expounder. As the curtain rises, Madame de Céran, hostess
of the assembled company, is about to conduct the ladies into the next apart-
ment; when one of them, Madame de Loudan, takes her by the arm. ]
M
ADAME DE LOUDAN [in an affected tone]—O countess! count-
ess! before we go, do let us carry out the little plot that
we have just been making against M. de Bellac. [Going
to Bellac, she says beseechingly:] M. Bellac-
Bellac [smiling conceitedly]-Marquise-?
Madame de Loudan-We are all begging one favor of you.
Bellac [graciously] You mean the favor that you do in ask-
ing it of me?
All the Ladies [to each other]-Oh, how charmingly he said
that!
-
――――――
Madame de Loudan - The poetry that we are going into the
other room to hear will probably take the entire evening. This
will be our last chance for a ray of illumination from you.
Do
recite us something-will you not? Now, before we all go-
just as little a thing as you choose.
We don't wish to tax your
genius; but something-anything-only speak. Every word you
will say will fall on us like manna!


## p. 10968 (#180) ##########################################

10968
ÈDOUARD PAILLERON
Suzanne - Yes, yes, please do, M. Bellac.
Madame Arriego-Do be so kind, M. Bellac.
The Baroness-We are all absolutely at your feet, M. Bel-
lac.
Bellac [protesting]-O ladies! ladies!
Madame de Loudan - Come over here and help us, Lucy-
you who are his Muse! You ask him too.
Lucy-Certainly I ask him.
Suzanne
For my part, I will have it so, whether M. Bellac
likes it or not!
The Ladies [whispering together]-Oh! oh!
Madame de Céran - Suzanne, you forget yourself.
Bellac-Oh, from the moment when anybody takes to vio-
lence-
―――
Madame de Loudan - Oh, he consents! he consents! An arm-
chair! An arm-chair! [A general movement of delight among all
the ladies surrounding Bellac. ]
Madame Arrigo-Will you have a table?
Madame de Loudan - Would you like us to draw back a lit-
tle from you?
Madame de Céran - Yes, just make a little more room around
him, please, ladies.
Bellac-Really! really! I beg of you-no stage setting-
nothing that suggests giving a lesson, a lecture, in a word,
pedantry. Rather, my dear ladies, let us turn it into a conver-
sation; you to ask me whatever questions you please.
Madame Loudan [joining her hands together]—O dear M. Bel-
lac, can we ask you something about your new book?
Suzanne-O M. Bellac, please —
Bellac-Ah, irresistible prayers!
―
―――――
But in spite of them-
yes, in spite of them, suffer me to refuse. Before my book is
given to everybody, no one human being must know anything
about it.
Madame de Loudan [slyly]-Not even one single person-in
particular?
Bellac O marquise, as Fontenelle once said to Madame de
Coulanges, "Take care! you are getting close to a secret. "
All the Ladies [with great enthusiasm]-Ah! charming!
The Baroness [in a low voice to Madame de Loudan] - How
much wit he has!


## p. 10969 (#181) ##########################################

ÉDOUARD PAILLERON
10969
Madame de Loudan-He has something better than wit, my
dear.