"In such a world the people would presumably lead their lives under the influence of great
passions
and ideas, philosophies and novels," Walter continued.
Musil - Man Without Qualities - v1
He wondered whether Clarisse would have agreed to regard the whole thing as a game of Cowboys and Indians or Cops and Robbers.
Of course she would.
Whoever took the first step, she would stick by him like a she-wolf and keep a sharp lookout.
But there was something else he had also had on the tip of his tongue, something about mathematical problems that do not admit of a general solution but do allow for particular solutions, which one could combine to come nearer to a general solution. He might have added that he regarded the problem ofhuman life as that kind o( problem. What we call an age-without specifying whether we mean. . centuries, millennia,- or the time span between schoolchild and grandparent-that broad unregulated flow of conditions would come to mean a more or less chaotic succession of unsatisfactory and, .
in themselves, false answers out of which there might emerge the right and whole solution only when mankind had learned to put all the pieces together.
On his way home in the streetcar, it all came back to ·him, but he was rather ashamed of such thoughts in the presence of the other passengers riding into town with him. One could tell by looking at them that they were on their way home from definite occupations or setting out toward definite entertainments; even just by looking at their clothes one could tell where they had come from or were going.
He studied the woman next to him; clearly a wife and mother, forty- ish, probably the wife of an academic, and she had small opera glasses on her lap. Sitting beside her, toying with those ideas, he felt like a little boy at play, and playing something slightly improper, at that.
For to think without pursuing some practical purpose is surely an improper, furtive occupation; especially those thoughts that take huge ~trides on stilts, touching experience only with tiny soles, are automatically suspect of having disreputable origins. There was a time when people talked of their thoughts taking wing; in Schiller's time such intellectual highfliers would have been widely esteemed, but in our own day such a person seems to have something the mat- ter with him, unless it happens to be his profession and source of income. There has obviously been a shift in our priorities. Certain concerns have been taken out of people's hearts. For high-flown thoughts a kind of poultry farm has been set up, called philosophy, theology, or literature, where they proliferate in their own way beyond anyone's ability to keep track of them, which is just as well, because in the face of such expansion no one need feel guilty about not bothering with them personally. With his respect for profession- alism and expertise, Ulrich was basically determined to go along with any such division oflabor. Nevertheless, he still indulged in thinking for himself, even though he was no professional philosopher, and at the moment he could see that to do otherwise was to take the road leading to the beehive state. The queen would lay her eggs, the drones would devote themselves to lust and the life of the mind, and the specialists would toil. It was quite possible to imagine the world so organized; total productivity might even go up as a result. For the present, every human being is still a microcosm of all humanity, as it were, but this has clearly become too much to bear and it no longer works, so that the humane element has become a transparent fraud. For the new division of labor to succeed, it might be necessary to arrange for at least one set ofworkers to evolve an intellectual syn- thesis. After all, without mind . . . What Ulrich meant was that it would give him nothing to look forward to. But this was of course a
prejudice. No one really knows what life depends on. He shifted in his seat and studied the reflection ofhis face in the windowpane op- posite, looking for something else to think about. But there was his
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head floating along in the fluid glass, midway between the inside and the outside, becoming remarkably compelling after a while in its in- sistence on some kind of completion.
Was there a war actually going on in the Balkans or not? Some sort of intervention was undoubtedly going on, but whether it was war was hard to tell. So much was astir in the world. There was another new record for high-altitude flight; something to be proud of. If he was not mistaken, the record now stood at 3,700 meters and the man's name was Jouhoux. A black boxer had beaten the white cham- pion; the new holder ofthe world title was Johnson. The President of France was going to Russia; there was talk of world peace being at stake. A newly discovered tenor was garnering fees in South America that had never been equaled even in North America. A terrible earthquake had devastated Japan-the poor Japanese. In short, much was happening, there was great excitement everywhere around the tum of 1913-1914. But two years or five years earlier there had also been much excitement, every day had had its sensa- tions, and yet it was hard, not to say impossible, to remember what it was that had actually happened. A possible synopsis: The new,cure for syphilis was making . . . Research into plant metabolism was mov- ing . . . The conquest of the South Pole seemed . . . Professor Stei- nach's experiments with monkey glands were arousing . . . Half the details could easily be left out without making much difference. What a strange business history was! We could safely say of this or that event that it had already . found its place in history, or certainly would find it; but whether this event had actually taken place was not so sure! Because for anything to happen, it has to happen at a certain date and not at some other date or even not at all; also, the thing itself has to happen illld not by chance something merely approximating it or something related. But this is precisely what no one can· say of history, unless he happens to have written it down at the time, as the newspapers do, or it's a matter of one's professional or financial af- fairs, since it is of course important to know how many years one has to go till retirement or when one will come into a certain sum of money or when one will have spent it, and in such a context even wars can become memorable occurrences. Examined close up, our history looks rather vague and messy, like a morass only partially made safe for pedestrian·traffic, though oddly enough in the end
there does seem to be a path across it, that very "path of history" of which nobody knows the starting ·point. This business of serving as "the stuffofhistory" infuriated Ulrich. The luminous, swaying box in which he was riding seemed to be a machine in which several hun- dred kilos of people were being rattled around, by way of being pro- cessed into "the future. " A hundred years earlier they had sat in a mail coach with the same look on their faces, and a hundred years hence, whatever was going on, they would be sitting as new people in exactly the same way in their updated transport machines-he was revolted by this lethargic acceptance of changes and conditions, this helpless contemporaneity, this mindlessly submissive, truly demean- ing stringing along with the centuries, just as if he were suddenly rebelling against the hat, curious enough in shape, that was sitting on his head.
Instinctively he got to his feet and made the rest of his way on foot. In the more generous human confines of the city, in which he now found himself, his uneasiness gave way to good humor again. What a crazy notion of little Clarisse's, to want a year of the mind. He con- centrated his attention on this point. What made it so senseless? One might just as well ask why Diotima's patriotic campaign was senseless.
Answer Number One: Because world history undoubtedly comes into being like all the other stories. Authors can never think of any- thing new, and they all copy from each other. This is why ail politi- cians study history instead of biology or whatever. So much for authors.
Answer Number Two: For the most part, however, history is made without authors. It evolves not from some inner center but from the periphery. Set in motion by trifling causes. It probably doesn't take nearly as much as one would think to tum Gothic man or the ancient Greek into modem civilized man. Human nature is as capable of cannibalism as it is of the Critique ofPure Reason; the same convic- tions and qualities will serve to tum out either one, depending on circumstances, and very great external differences in the results cor- respond to very slight internal ones.
Digression One:. Ulrich recalled a similar experience dating from his army days. The squadron rides in double file, and "Passing on orders" is the drill; each man in tum whispers the given order to the
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next man. So ifthe order given up front is: "Sergeant major move·to the head of the column," it comes out the other end as "Eight troop- ers to be shot at orice," or something like that. And this is just how world history is made.
Answer Number Three: If, therefore, we were to transplant a gen- eration of present-day Europeans at a tender age into the Egypt of 5000 B. C. , world history would begin afresh in. the year 5000 B. C. , repeat itself for a while, and then, for reasons nobody could fathom, gradually begin to deviate from its established course.
Digression Two: The law of world history-it now occurred to him-was none other than the fundamental principle of government in old Kakania: "muddling through. " Kakania was an incredibly clever state.
Digression Three or Answer Number Four: The course of history was therefore not that of a billiard ball-which, once it is hit, takes a definite line-but resembles the movement of clouds, or the path of a man sauntering through the streets, turned aside by a shadow here, a crowd there, an unusual architectural outcrop, until at last he ar- rives at a place he never knew or meant to go to. Inherent in the course of history is a certain going off course. The present is always like the last house of a town, which somehow no longer counts as a house in town. Each generation wonders "Who am I, and what were my forebears? " It would make more sense to ask ''Where am I? " and to assume that one's predecessors were not different in kind but merely in a different place; that would be a move in the right direc- tion, he thought.
He had been numbering his own answers and digressions as he went along, while glancing now into some passing face, now into a shop window, to keep his thoughts from running away with him en- tirely, but had nevertheless gone slightly astray and had to stop for a moment to see where he was and find the best way home. Before taking this route, he tried once more to get his question straight in his mind. Crazy little Clarisse was quite right in saying that we should make history, make it up, even though he had argued against it with her. But why didn't we?
All that occurred to him in answer at the moment was Director Fischel of lloyd's Bank, his friend Leo Fischel, with whom years ago he had sometimes sat outside a cafe in the summer. For if Ulrich had
been talking to Fischel instead of to himself, Fischel would typically have said: "I should only have your worries! " Ulrich appreciated this refreshing answer Fischel would have given. "My dear Fischel," he immediately replied in his mind, "it's not that simple. When I say history, I mean, ifyou recall, our life. And I did admit from the start that it's in very bad taste for me to ask: Why don't people create his- tory-that is, why do they attack history like so many beasts only when they are wounded, when their shirttails are on fire, in short, only in an emergency? So why is this question in such bad taste? What do \'Ve have against it, when all it means is that people shouldn't let their lives drift as they do? ""'
"Everybody knows the answer," Director Fischel would retort. "We're lucky when the politicians and the clergy and the big shots with nothing to do, and everybody else who runs around with all the answers, keep their hands off our daily lives. Besides which, we're a civilized people. I f only so many people nowadays weren't so uncivi- lized! " And of course Director Fischel was right. A man is lucky if he knows his way around stocks and bonds, and other people refrain from dabbling so much in history just because they think they know how it works. We couldn't live without ideas, God forbid, but we have to aim at a certain equilibrium among them, a balance ofpower, an armed truce of ideas, so that none of the contending parties can get too much done. Fischel's sedative was civilization. It was the fun- damental sentiment of civilization, in fact. And yet there is also the contrary sentiment, asserting itself more and more, that the times of heroic-political history, made by chance and its champions, have become largely obsolete and must be replaced by a planned solu- tion to all problems, a solution in which all those concerned must participate.
At this point the Ulrich Year came to an end with Ulrich's arrival on his own doorstep.
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At home he found the usual stack of mail fmwarded from Count Leinsdorf's. An industrialist was offering an outsize cash award for the best results in the military trainirlg of young civilians. The arch- bishopric opposed the founding ofa great orphanage, on the grounds that it had to be on guard against creeping interdenominationalism. The Committee on Public Worship and Education reported on the progress of the defmitive suggestion, tentatively announced, to erect a great Emperor of Peace and Austrian Peoples Monument near the Imperial Residence; after consultation with the Imperial and Royal Office for Public Worship and Education, and after sounding out the leading art, engineering, and architectural associations, the Commit- tee had found the differences of opinion such that it saw itself con- strained-without prejudice to eventual future requirements and subject to the Central Executive Committee's. consent-to announce a competition for the best plan for a competition with regard to such an eventual monument. The Chamberlain's Office, having taken due cognizance of the proposals submitted three weeks earlier, was re- turning them to the Central Executive Committee with regrets that no decision thereon by His Most Gracious Majesty could be passed on at this time, but that it was in any case desirable for the time being to let public opinion continue to crystallize on these as well as other points. The Imperial and Royal Office for Public Worship and Edu- cation stated in response to the Committee's communication ref. no. so-and-so that it was not in a position to favor any special action in support ofthe Oehl Shorthand Association. The Block Letter Society for Mental Health announced its foundation and applied for a grant.
And so it went. Ulrich pushed aside this packet of "realities" and brooded on it for a while. Suddenly he got to his feet, called for his hat and coat, left word that he would be back in an hour or so, phoned for a cab, and returned to Clarisse.
Darkness had fallen. A little light fell onto the road from only one window of her house; footprints in the snow had frozen, making holes to stumble over; the outer door was locked and the visitor un- expected, so that' his shouts, knocking, and hand clapping went un- heard for the longest time. When at last Ulrich was back inside, it did not seem to be the same room he had left such a short time ago but seemed another world, surprised to see him, with a table laid for a simple private meal for two, every chair occupied by something that had settled down on it, and walls that offered the intruder a certain resistance.
Clarisse was wearing a plain woolen bathrobe and laughing. Wal- ter, who had let the latecomer in, blinked his eyes and slipped the huge house key into a table drawer. Without beating about the bush, Ulrich said, ''I'm back because I owe Clarisse an answer. " Then he resumed talking at the point where Walter's arrival had interrupted their conversation. After a while, the room, the house, and all sense oftime had vanished, and the conversation ~ hanging somewhere up in the blue of space, in the net of the starS.
Ulrich presented them with his scheme for living the history of ideas instead of the history of the world. The difference, he said to begin with, would have less to do with what was happening than with the interpretation one gave it, with the purpose it was meant to serve, with the system of which the individual events were a part. The pre- vailing system was that of reality, and it was just like a bad play. It's not for nothing that we speak of a "theater of world events"-the same roles, complications, and plots keep turning up in life. People make love because there is love to be made, and the)' do it in the prevailing mode; people are proud as the Noble Savage, or as a Span- iard, a virgin, or a lion; in ninety out of a hundred cases even murder is committed only because it is perceived as tragic or grandiose. Apart from the truly notable exceptions, the successful political molders of the world in particular have a lot in common with the hacks who write for the commercial theater; the lively scenes they create bore us by their lack of ideas and novelty, but by the same token they lull us into that sleepy state oflowered resistance in which
we acquiesce in everything put before us. Seen in this light, history arises out of routine ideas, out of indifference to ideas, ·SO that reality comes primarily of nothing being done for ideas. This might be
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briefly summed up, he claimed, by saying that we care too little about what is happening and too much about to whom, when, and where it is happening, so that it is not the essence of what happens that matters to us but only the plot; not the opening up of some new experience oflife but only the pattern ofwhat we already lmow, cor- responding precisely to the difference between good plays and merely successful plays. Which means that we must do the opposite of what we do, and first of all give up being possessive about our ex- periences. We should look upon our experiences less as something personal and real and more as something general and abstract, or with the detachment with which we look at a painting or listen to a song. They should not be turned in upon ourselves but upward and outward. And if this was true on the personal plane, something more
would have to be done on the collective plane, something that Ulrich could not quite pin down and that he called a pressing of the grapes, cellaring the wine, concentrating the spiritual juices, and without all of which the individual could not feel other than helpless, of course, abandoned to his own resources. As he talked on in this vein, he re- membered the moment when he had told Diotima that reality ought to be done away with.
Almost as a matter of course, Walter began by declaring all this to be an obvious commonplace. As if the whole world, literature, art, science, religion, were. not already a "pressing and cellaring" in any easel As ifany literate person denied the value ofideas or failed to pay homage to the spirit, to beauty and goodness! As if education were anything other than an initiation into the world ofthe human spirit!
Ulrich clarified his position by suggesting that education was merely an initiation into the contemporary and prevalent modes and manners, which are random creations, so that those who seek to ac- quire a mind oftheir own must first ofall realize that they have none as yet. An entirely open mind, poetically creative and morally experi- mental on a grand scale, was what he called it.
Now Walter said that Ulrich was being impossible. ''You paint a charming picture," he said, "as though we had any choice . between living our ideas or living our lives. But you may remember the lines
I am no syllogism nor afiction-
! am a man, with all his contradtcttonl
Why not go a step further? Why not demand that we get rid of the belly to make space for the mind? But I say to you: A man is made of common clay! That we stretch out an arm and draw it back again, that we have to decide whether to tum right or left, that we are made of habits, prejudices, and earth, and nevertheless make our way as best we can-that is what makes us fully human. What you are say- ing, tested even slightly against reality, shows it up as being, at best, mere literature. "
"Ifyou will let me include all the other arts under that heading too," Ulrich conceded, "all the teachings on how to live, the reli- gions, and so on, then I do mean something like that: namely, that our existence should consist wholly of literature. "
"Really? You call the Savior's mercy or the life of Napoleon litera- ture? " Walter exclaimed. But then he had a better idea, and he turned -to his friend with all the aplomb of the man holding trumps and said: "You are the kind of man who regards can'ned vegetables as the raison d'etre of fresh greens. "
"You're absolutely right. And you could also say that I am one of those who will only cook with salt," Ulrich coolly admitted. He was tired of talking about it.
At this point Clarisse joined in, turning to Walter:
"Why do you contradict him? Aren't you the one who always says, whenever something special happens: Here is something we should be able to put on the stage, for everyone to see. and understand? " And turning to Ulrich in agreement, she said: "What we really ought to do is sing! We ought to sing ourselves! "
She had stood up and entered the little circle formed by the chairs. She held herself with a certain awkwardness, as though about to demonstrate her idea by going into a dance. Ulrich, who found such displays of naked emotion distasteful, remembered at this point that most people or, bluntly speaking, the average sort, whose minds are stimulated without their being able to create, long to act out their own selves. These are ofcourse the same people who are so likely to find, going on inside them, something "unutterable"-truly a word that says it all for them and that is the clouded screen upon which whatever they say appears vaguely magnified, so that they can never tell its real value. To put a stop to this, he said: "This was not what I meant, but Clarisse is right; the theater proves that intense personal
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feelings may serve an impersonal purpose, a complex of meaning and metaphor that makes them more or less transcend the merely personal. "
"I know exactly what Ulrich means," Clarisse chimed in again. "I can't remember ever getting a special pleasure out of something be- cause it was happeni,ng to me. It was happening, that was the thing! Uke music, for instance," she s! rld, turning to her husband. "You don't want to own it; the joy ofit is that it's there! We absorb our experiences and expand them into something beyond ourselves in a single movement; we seek to realize ourselves, yes, but not the way a shopkeeper realizes a profit! "
Walter clutched his head, but for Clarisse's sake he switched to another argument. He did his best to make his words come with the force of a steady, cold jet. "If you value an experience only to the degree that it generates spiritual energy," he said to Ulrich, "then let me ask you this: Doesn't that presuppose a life that has no other aim than to produce spiritual energy and power? "
"It is the life that all existing societies claim as their goal," Ulrich replied.
"In such a world the people would presumably lead their lives under the influence of great passions and ideas, philosophies and novels," Walter continued. "Let me take it a step further: Would they live . so as to make great philosophy and poetry possible, or would their lives be philosophy and poetry in the flesh, as it were? I'm sure I know which you mean, since the first case would be exactly what we mean by a civilization in the first place. But ifyou mean the second, aren't you overlooking the fact that such a life-as--art, or whatever you'd call it, unimaginable as it is to begin with, would make philosophy and art quite superfluous; it means one thing only, the end of art! " He flashed this trump card for Clarisse's benefit.
It took the trick. Even Ulrich needed a while to marshal his forces. Then he laughed and said: "Don't you know that every perfect life would be the end of art? It seems to me that you yourself are on the way to perfecting your life at the expense ofyour art. "
He had intended no sarcasm, but Clarisse pricked up her ears.
Ulrich went on: "Every great book breathes this spirit of love for the fate of individuals at odds with the forms the community tries to impose on them. It leads to decisions that cannot be decided; there is
nothing to be done but to give a true account of their lives. Extract the meaning out of all literature, and what you will get is a denial, however incomplete, but nonetheless an endless series of individual examples all based on experience, which refute all the accepted rules, principles, and prescriptions underpinning the very society that loves these works of art! In the end, a poem, with its mystery, cuts through to the point where the meaning of the world is tied to thousands ofwords in constant use, severs all these strings, and turns it into a balloon floating offinto space. Ifthis is what we call beauty, as we usually do, then beauty is 'an indescribably more ruthless and cruel upheaval than any political revolution ever was. "
Walter had turned pale to the lips. He hated this view of art as a negation of life, of art against life. He regarded it as offensively bohe- mian, the dregs of an outdated impulse to shock the conventional mind. He caught the irony of the self-evident fact that in a perfect world there would be no more beauty because it would be superflu- ous, but he did not hear his friend's unspoken question. For Ulrich was aware of having oversimplified his case. He could just as easily have said the opposite, that ·art is subversive because art is love; it beautifies its object by loving it, and there may be no other way in this world to beautify a thing or a creature than by loving it. And it is only because even our love consists of mere fragments that beauty works by intensification and contrast. And it is only in the sea of love that the concept of perfection, beyond all intensification, fuses with the concept of beauty, which depends on intensification. Once again Ulrich's thoughts had brushed against "the realm," and he stopped short, annoyed with himself. Walter had meanwhile pulled himself together, and after having rejected his friend's suggestion that peo- ple should live more or less as they read, as a commonplace idea as well as an impossible one, he proceeded to prove it evil and vulgar too.
"If a man," he began in the same artfully controlled fashion as before, "were to live his life as you suggest, he would have to ac- cept-not to mention other impossible implications-everything that gave him a good idea, in fact everything even capable of doing so. This would of course mean universal decadence, but since you don't mind that side of it, presumably-unless you are thinking of those vague general arrangements about which you haven't gone into
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detail-let me ask you only about the personal consequences. It seems to me that such a man is bound to be, in every case in which he doesn't happen to be the poet of his own life, worse off than an ani- mal; if he couldn't come up with an idea, then he couldn't come to any decision either, so that for a great part of his life he wot,Ud simply be at the mercy ofall his impulses, moods, the usual banal passions- in short, at the mercy of all the most impersonal elements of which a man consists, and for as long as the channel leading upward re- mained blocked, he would have to let himself be the toy of every- thing that came into his head! " ·
"Then he would have to refuse to do anything," Clarisse answered in Ulrich's stead. "This is the active passivism ofwhich a person must be capable in some circum~tances. "
Walter could not make himselflook at her. Her capacity for refusal was, after all, a major factor in their life together; Clarisse, looking like a little angel in the long nightgown that covered her feet, had stood on her bed declaiming Nietzschean sentiments, with her teeth flashing: "I toss my question like a plumb line into your soul! You want a child and marriage, but I ask you: Are you the man to have a child? Are you the victorious' master of his own powers? Or is it merely the voice oftlle animal in you, the slave ofnature, speaking? " In the twilight of the bedroom this had made a rather gruesome spectacle, while Walter had tried in vain to coax her back down under the bedclothes. And now here she was, armed for the future with a new slogan: active passivism, ofwhich a person had to be capa- ble ifneed be-a phrase that clearly smacked ofa man without quali- ties. Had she been confiding in Ulrich? Was he encouraging her in her eccentricities? These questions were writhing like worms in Wal- ter's heart, so that he almost felt sick to his stomach. His face turned ashen and all the tension went out of it, leaving it a mass of helpless wrinkles.
Ulrich saw this and asked him warmly if anything was wrong?
With an effort, Walter said no and brightly smiling, invited Ulrich to go on with his nonsense.
"Oh well," Ulrich conceded, "you're not so wrong there. But in a spirit of good sportsmanship we often tolerate actions that are harm- ful to ourselves, ifour opponent performs them in an attractive way;
the quality ofthe performance somehow contends with the quality of \
the damage done. Very often, too, we have an idea that takes us a step farther along, but all too soon habit, inertia, selfish promptings, and so on take its place, because that's the way things go. So I may have been describing a condition that can never be carried to its proper conclusion, but there's no denying that it is wholly the condi- tion of the world in which we live. ,
Walter had regained his equanimity. "Ifyou tum the truth upside down, you can always say something that is just as true as it is topsy- turvy," he said gently, without disguising his reluctance for any fur- ther argument. "It's just like you to call something impossible but real. "
Clarisse, however, was rubbing her nose hard. "And yet it seems very important to me," she said, "that there's something impossible in every one of us. It explains so many things. While I was listening to you both, it seemed to me that ifwe could be cut open our entire life might look like a ring, just something that goes around something. " She had already, earlier on, pulled off her wedding ring, and now she peered through it at the lamplit wall. "There's nothing inside, and yet it looks as 'though that were precisely what matters most. Ulrich can't be expected to express this perfectly the flrst time he tries. "
And so this discussion ended after all, sad to say, with Walter get- ting hurt once again.
ss
· GENERAL STUMM TRIES TO BRING SOME ORDER INTO THE CIVILIAN MIND
Ulrich had probably been out an hour longer than he had indicated on leaving, and was told on his return that a military gentleman had been waiting for him for quite some time. Upstairs, to his surprise, he found General Stumm, who greeted him as an old comrade in arms.
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"Do forgive me, old friend," the General called out to him in wel- come, "for barging in on you so late, but I couldn't get off duty any sooner, so I've been sitting here for a good two hours, surrounded by your books-what terrifying heaps of them you've got! "
After an exchange of courtesies, it turned out that Stumm had come for help with an urgent problem. Sitting there with one leg flung jauntily over the other, not an easy posture for a man with his waistline, and holding out his arm with its little hand, he said: "Ur- gent? When one of my aides comes along with an urgent piece of business I usually tell him there's nothing urgent in this world except making it in time to a certain closet. But jokes aside, I had to come and see you about something most important. I've already told you that I regard your cousin's house as a special opportunity for me to learn more about the civilian world and its major concerns. Some- thing nonmilitary, for a change, and I can assure you that I am enor- mously impressed. On the other hand, while we brass hats may have our weaknesses, we're not nearly as stupid as most people seem . to think. I hope you'll agree that when we get something done, we make a good job of it. You do agree? I knew I could trust you to see that,' which is why I can confess to you frankly that even so, I am ashamed of our army mentality. Ashamed, I say! Other than our Chaplain General, I seem to be the man in our army who has most to do with the spiritual and mental side of things. But I don't mind telling you that ifyou take a good look at the military mind, outstanding as it is, it seems to me like a morning roll call. You do remember what a morn- ing roll call is like? The duty officer puts down on his report: So many men and horses present, so many men and horses absent, sick or whatever, Uhlan Leitomischl absent without leave, and so on. B'ut why such and such numbers of men and horses are present or sick or whatever, that he never puts down. And it's precisely the sort of thing you need to know when dealing with a civilian administration. When a· soldier has something to say, he keeps it short, simple, and to the point, but I often have to confer with those civilian types from the various ministries, and they always want to know, at every tum, the whys and wherefores of every proposal I make, with refer- ence to considerations and interactions on a higher plane. So what I did-this is just between ourselves, you understand-! proposed to my chief, His Excellency General Frost von Aufbruch, or rather I
hope to surprise him with it . . . anyhow, my idea is t<? use my oppor- tunities at your cousin's to get the hang ofit all, all these higher con- siderations and significations, and put them to use, if I may say so without blowing my own hom, to upgrade our military mentality. After all, the army has its doctors, vets, pharmacists, clergy, auditors, commissary officers, engineers, and bandmasters, but what it hasn't got yet is a Central Liaison for the civilian mind.
Only now did Ulrich notice that Stumm von Bordwehr had brought along a briefcase, which he had propped against the desk, one of those leather bags with a shoulder strap for carrying official files through the mazes of government corridors and from one gov- ernment building to another. The General must have come with an orderly who was waiting for him downstairs, although Ulrich had not seen anyone, for it was costing Stumm quite an effort to pull the heavy bag onto his knees, so as to spring the little steel lock with its imposing air of battlefield technology.
"I haven't been wasting any time since I started attending your meetings"-he smiled, while the light-blue tunic of his uniform tightened around its gold buttons as he stooped-"but there are things, you see, I'm still not quite sure about. " He fished out of the bag a number of sheets covered with odd-looking notes and lines.
"Your cousin," he elucidated, "your cousin and I had a quite ex- haustive talk about it, and what she wants, understandably enough, is that her efforts to raise a spiritual monument to our Gracious Sover- eign should lead to an idea, an idea outranking: as it were, all of the current ideas. But I've noticed already, much as I admire all these people she's invited to work on it, that it's a very tall order. The min- ute one man says something, another will come up with the oppo- site-haven't you noticed it? -but what strikes me, for one, as even worse is that the civilian mind seems to be what we call, speaking of a horse, a poor feeder. You remember, don't you? You c;m stuff that kind of beast with double rations, but it never gets any fatter! Or if it does," he qualified, in response to a mild objection from his host, "even ifit does gain weight, its bones don't develop, and its coat stays dull; all it gets is a grass belly. I fmd that fascinating, you see, and I've made up my mind to look into it, to figure out why we can't get some order into this business. "
Sttimm smiled as he handed his former lieutenant the first of his
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papers. "They can say what they like about us," he said, "but we anny men have always known how to get things in order. Here's my out- line ofthe main ideas I gotout ofthose fellows at your cousin's meet- ings. As you'll see, every one of them, when you ask him privately, places top priority on something different. " Ulrich looked at the paper in astonishment. It was drawn up like a registration form or, in fact, a military list, divided by horizontal and vertical lines into sec- tions, with entries in words that somehow resisted the format, for what he read here, written in military calligraphy, were the names of Jesus Christ; Buddha, Gautama, aka Siddhartha; Lao-tzu; Luther, Martin; Goethe, Wolfgang; Ganghofer, Ludwig; Chamberlain, and evidently many more, running on to another page. In a second col- umn he read the words "Christianity,'' "Imperialism," "Century of Interchange," and so on, with yet more columns ofwords beyond.
"I might even call it a page from the Domesday Book of modem culture," Stumm commented, "because we have expanded it further, and it now contains the names of the ideas, plus their originators, that have moved us in the last twenty-five years. I had no idea what a job it would bel" When Ulrich asked him how he had got this inven- tory together, he was glad to explain his system.
"I had to commandeer a captain, two lieutenants, and five non- coms to get it done in such short order. Ifwe'd been able to do it in a really up-to-date fashion, we'd simply have sent around a question- naire to all the regiments: 'Who do you think is the greatest man? ' The way it's done nowadays when the papers take a poll and all that, you know, together with an order to report the results in percent- ages. But of course you can't do that sort of thing in the army, be- cause no unit would be allowed to report any answer other than 'His Majesty the Emperor. ' So then . I thought of going into which books are the most widely read and have the biggest printings, but there we soon found out that next to the Bible it's the Post Office New Year's booklet, with the new postal rates and the old jokes, which every 'oc- cupant' gets free from his postman in return for his annual tip, which again made us realize what a tricky thing the civilian mind is, since those books that appeal to everyone are gene~y rated the best, or at least, as they tell me, an author in Germanymust have an awful lot of like-minded readers before he can pass for an impressive thinker. So we couldn't take that route either, and how we finally did it I couldn't
tell you right now; it was an idea of Corporal Hirsch's, together with Lieutenant Melichar, but we did it. "
General Stumm put the sheet of paper aside and, with an expres- sion eloquent with disappointment, pulled out another. After taking -inventory of the Central European stock of ideas, he had not only discovered to his regret that it consisted of nothing but contradic- tions but also been amazed to find that these contradictions, on
closer scrutiny, tended to merge into one another.
"By now I'm used to being told something different by each of the
famous men at your cousin's when I ask them to enlighten me about something," he said, "but every time I've been talking to them for a while, they still seem to be saying the same thing-that's what I can't get into my head, and it could be that my army-issue brain isn't up to it. " The problem that was worrying General Stumm was no trifle and actually should not have been left in the War Office's lap, even though it could be shown that it was intimately related to war. Our times rejoice in a number of great ideas, and by a special kindness of fate each idea is paired with its opposite, so that individualism and collectivism, nationalism and internationalism, socialism and capital- ism, imperialism and pacifism, rationalism and superstition, are all equally at home in them, together with the unused remnants of countless opposites of an equal or lesser contemporary value. By now this seems as natural as day and night, hot and cold, love and hate, and, for every tensor muscle in the body, the pi:esence ofits opposing extensor muscle, nor would it have occurred to General Stumm---or anyone else--to see anything unusual in any of this, had his ambition not taken the plunge into this adventure because of his love _for Di- otima. Love cannot settle for a unity of Nature based upon opposites; its need for tenderness demands a unity without contradictions, and so the General had tried in every possible way to establish such a unity. .
"Here I have," he told Ulrich as he showed him the relevant pages of his report, "a list I've made up of all the Commanders in Chief of Ideas, i. e. , all the names in recent times that have led sizable battal- ions of ideas to victory. On this other page here you see the battle order; this one is a strategical plan; and this last one is an attempt to establish depots or ordnance bases from which to move further sup-' plies of ideas up to the front. Now, I'm sure you can se&-I've made
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certain that the drawing shows this clearly-when looking at any set of ideas in action, that it draws its supplies of additional troops and intellectual maMriel not only from its own depots but also from those of its opponents; you see how it keeps shifting positions and how it suddenly turns unaccountably against its own backup forces; you can see ideas constantly crossing over to the other side and back again, so that you will find them now in one line of battle, now in the other. In short, there's no way to draw up a decent plan of communications or line of demarcation or anything else, and the whole thing is-though I can't actually believe what I'm sayingl-what any one of our com- manding officers would be bound to·call one hell of a mess! "
Stumm slipped several dozen pages into Ulrich's hands. They were covered with strategic plans, railway lines, networks of roads, charts of range and firing power, symbols for different units and for brigade headquarters, circles, squares, crosshatched areas; just like a regular General Staff's plan of operations, it had red, green, yellow, and blue lines running this way and that, with all sorts of little flags, meaning a variety of things (such as were to become so popular the following year), painted in all over the place.
"It's no use," Stumm sighed. "I've tried doing it differently, by representing the problem from a military-geographical angle instead ofa strategic one, in the hope ofgetting at least a clearly defined field ofoperations, but that didn't work either. Have a look at the oro- and hydrographic sketches. " Ulrich saw symbols for mountain peaks branching out and massing together again elsewhere, . and for springs, networks of streams, lakes. ''I've experimented with all sorts ofother ways oftrying to pull the whole thing together," the General said, with a gleam of irritation or panic in his normally rp. eny gaze. "But do you know what it's like? It's like traveling second class in Galicia and picking up ctab. lice. I've never felt so fllthy helpless! When you spend a lot of time with ideas you end up itching all over, and you can scratch till you bleed, without getting any relief. " His vivid description made Ulrich laugh.
"No, no, don't laugh! " the General pleaded. "I've been thinking that you, now that you've become a leading civilian, would under- stand this stuff and that you'd understand my problem too. So I've come to you for help. I have far too much respect for the world ofthe intellect to believe that I can be right about all this. "
"You take thinking far too seriously, Colonel," Ulrich said to com- fort him. The "Colonel" had just slipped out, and he apologized: "Sorry, General; for a minute you had me back in the days when you sometimes ordered me to join you in a philosophical chat in the cor- ner ofthe mess hall. I can only repeat, a man shouldn't take the art of thinking as seriously as you are doing. "
"Not take it seriously! " Stumm groaned. "But I can't go back to just getting along in the mindless way I used to live. Don't you see that? It makes me shudder to think how long I lived between the parade ground and the barracks, with nothing but my messmates' dirty jokes and their stories about their sexual exploits. "
They sat down to supper. Ulrich was touched by the General's childlike ideas, on which he then acted with such manly courage, and by the inexhaustible youthfulness that comes from having lived in small garrison towns at the right time of life. He had invited his companion of those years long gone to share his evening meal, and the General was so obsessed by his desire to enter into Ulrich's arcane world that he picked up each slice of sausage with utmost ~oncentration.
"Your cousin," he said, raising his wineglass, "is the most marvel- ous woman I know. They rightly call her a second Diotima; I've never known anyone like her. You know, my wife . . . you haven't met her. I've nothing to complain of, and then we have the children, but a woman like Diotima . . . well, there's no comparison! When she's receiving I sometimes position myself behind her-what majestic feminine curvesl-while at the same time she's talking up front with some ou'tstanding civilian on so high a level that I honestly wish I could take notes! And that Section Chief she's married to has abso- lutely no idea how lucky he is to have her! I'm sorry if this fellow Tuzzi happens to be someone you like, but I personally can't stand him! All he ever does is slink around with a smirk on his face as if he knew all the answers and won't tell. But I'm not buying that, because with all my respect for the civilian world, government officials are the lowest on my totem pole; they're nothing but a kind of civilian army that try to get the better of us every chance they have, with the outra- geous politeness of a cat sitting high up in a tree and looking down at a dog. Your Dr. Amheim now, that's a man of a different caliber en- tirely," Stumm went on, "though he may be a bit conceited too, but
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there's no denying his superiority. " He had evidently been drinking too fast, after so much talking, because he was now warming up and growing confidential.
"I don't know what it is," he said. "Maybe the reason I don't un- derstand is that a fellow's mind gets so oomplicated nowadays, but even though I admire your cousin myselfas if-I must say, as if I had a great lump sticking in my throat-still, it's a relief to me that she's in love with Amheim. "
"What? Are you sure there's something going on between them? " Ulrich burst out, although it should not really have been any concern of his; Stumm goggled at him mistrustfully with his shortsighted eyes, still misty with emotion, and snapped on his pince-nez.
"I never said he'd had her," was his straight,. soldierly retort. He put his pince-nez back in his pocket and added in quite unsoldierly fashion: "But I wouldn't mind if he had either; devil take me, I've told you already that a man's mind gets complicated in that company. I'm certainly no lover boy, but when I imagine the tenderness Di- otima could offer this man I feel a tenderness for him myself, and vice versa, as if th~ kisses he gave her were my own. "
"He gives her kisses? "
"How do I know? I don't go around spying ori them. I only mean, if he did. I don't really know what I meari. But I did see him once catching her hand, when they thought nobody was looking, and then for a·while they were so quiet together, the kind of stillness you get on the command 'All helmets off, kneel for prayer! ' and then she whispered something, it sounded like an appeal, and he answered something. I remember what they said word for word, because it was so hard to understand; what she said was: 'If only we could flnd the right idea to save us,' and he said: 'Only a pure, unflawed idea of love can save us. ' He seemed to have taken her words too personally, be- cause she must have meant the saving idea she needs for her great campaign-What are you laughing at? But feel free to laugh; I've always had my own funny ways, I guess, and now I've made up my mind to help her. There must be something one can do; there are so many ideas floating around, one of them will have to be the saving idea in the end. But I'll need you to give me a hand!
But there was something else he had also had on the tip of his tongue, something about mathematical problems that do not admit of a general solution but do allow for particular solutions, which one could combine to come nearer to a general solution. He might have added that he regarded the problem ofhuman life as that kind o( problem. What we call an age-without specifying whether we mean. . centuries, millennia,- or the time span between schoolchild and grandparent-that broad unregulated flow of conditions would come to mean a more or less chaotic succession of unsatisfactory and, .
in themselves, false answers out of which there might emerge the right and whole solution only when mankind had learned to put all the pieces together.
On his way home in the streetcar, it all came back to ·him, but he was rather ashamed of such thoughts in the presence of the other passengers riding into town with him. One could tell by looking at them that they were on their way home from definite occupations or setting out toward definite entertainments; even just by looking at their clothes one could tell where they had come from or were going.
He studied the woman next to him; clearly a wife and mother, forty- ish, probably the wife of an academic, and she had small opera glasses on her lap. Sitting beside her, toying with those ideas, he felt like a little boy at play, and playing something slightly improper, at that.
For to think without pursuing some practical purpose is surely an improper, furtive occupation; especially those thoughts that take huge ~trides on stilts, touching experience only with tiny soles, are automatically suspect of having disreputable origins. There was a time when people talked of their thoughts taking wing; in Schiller's time such intellectual highfliers would have been widely esteemed, but in our own day such a person seems to have something the mat- ter with him, unless it happens to be his profession and source of income. There has obviously been a shift in our priorities. Certain concerns have been taken out of people's hearts. For high-flown thoughts a kind of poultry farm has been set up, called philosophy, theology, or literature, where they proliferate in their own way beyond anyone's ability to keep track of them, which is just as well, because in the face of such expansion no one need feel guilty about not bothering with them personally. With his respect for profession- alism and expertise, Ulrich was basically determined to go along with any such division oflabor. Nevertheless, he still indulged in thinking for himself, even though he was no professional philosopher, and at the moment he could see that to do otherwise was to take the road leading to the beehive state. The queen would lay her eggs, the drones would devote themselves to lust and the life of the mind, and the specialists would toil. It was quite possible to imagine the world so organized; total productivity might even go up as a result. For the present, every human being is still a microcosm of all humanity, as it were, but this has clearly become too much to bear and it no longer works, so that the humane element has become a transparent fraud. For the new division of labor to succeed, it might be necessary to arrange for at least one set ofworkers to evolve an intellectual syn- thesis. After all, without mind . . . What Ulrich meant was that it would give him nothing to look forward to. But this was of course a
prejudice. No one really knows what life depends on. He shifted in his seat and studied the reflection ofhis face in the windowpane op- posite, looking for something else to think about. But there was his
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head floating along in the fluid glass, midway between the inside and the outside, becoming remarkably compelling after a while in its in- sistence on some kind of completion.
Was there a war actually going on in the Balkans or not? Some sort of intervention was undoubtedly going on, but whether it was war was hard to tell. So much was astir in the world. There was another new record for high-altitude flight; something to be proud of. If he was not mistaken, the record now stood at 3,700 meters and the man's name was Jouhoux. A black boxer had beaten the white cham- pion; the new holder ofthe world title was Johnson. The President of France was going to Russia; there was talk of world peace being at stake. A newly discovered tenor was garnering fees in South America that had never been equaled even in North America. A terrible earthquake had devastated Japan-the poor Japanese. In short, much was happening, there was great excitement everywhere around the tum of 1913-1914. But two years or five years earlier there had also been much excitement, every day had had its sensa- tions, and yet it was hard, not to say impossible, to remember what it was that had actually happened. A possible synopsis: The new,cure for syphilis was making . . . Research into plant metabolism was mov- ing . . . The conquest of the South Pole seemed . . . Professor Stei- nach's experiments with monkey glands were arousing . . . Half the details could easily be left out without making much difference. What a strange business history was! We could safely say of this or that event that it had already . found its place in history, or certainly would find it; but whether this event had actually taken place was not so sure! Because for anything to happen, it has to happen at a certain date and not at some other date or even not at all; also, the thing itself has to happen illld not by chance something merely approximating it or something related. But this is precisely what no one can· say of history, unless he happens to have written it down at the time, as the newspapers do, or it's a matter of one's professional or financial af- fairs, since it is of course important to know how many years one has to go till retirement or when one will come into a certain sum of money or when one will have spent it, and in such a context even wars can become memorable occurrences. Examined close up, our history looks rather vague and messy, like a morass only partially made safe for pedestrian·traffic, though oddly enough in the end
there does seem to be a path across it, that very "path of history" of which nobody knows the starting ·point. This business of serving as "the stuffofhistory" infuriated Ulrich. The luminous, swaying box in which he was riding seemed to be a machine in which several hun- dred kilos of people were being rattled around, by way of being pro- cessed into "the future. " A hundred years earlier they had sat in a mail coach with the same look on their faces, and a hundred years hence, whatever was going on, they would be sitting as new people in exactly the same way in their updated transport machines-he was revolted by this lethargic acceptance of changes and conditions, this helpless contemporaneity, this mindlessly submissive, truly demean- ing stringing along with the centuries, just as if he were suddenly rebelling against the hat, curious enough in shape, that was sitting on his head.
Instinctively he got to his feet and made the rest of his way on foot. In the more generous human confines of the city, in which he now found himself, his uneasiness gave way to good humor again. What a crazy notion of little Clarisse's, to want a year of the mind. He con- centrated his attention on this point. What made it so senseless? One might just as well ask why Diotima's patriotic campaign was senseless.
Answer Number One: Because world history undoubtedly comes into being like all the other stories. Authors can never think of any- thing new, and they all copy from each other. This is why ail politi- cians study history instead of biology or whatever. So much for authors.
Answer Number Two: For the most part, however, history is made without authors. It evolves not from some inner center but from the periphery. Set in motion by trifling causes. It probably doesn't take nearly as much as one would think to tum Gothic man or the ancient Greek into modem civilized man. Human nature is as capable of cannibalism as it is of the Critique ofPure Reason; the same convic- tions and qualities will serve to tum out either one, depending on circumstances, and very great external differences in the results cor- respond to very slight internal ones.
Digression One:. Ulrich recalled a similar experience dating from his army days. The squadron rides in double file, and "Passing on orders" is the drill; each man in tum whispers the given order to the
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next man. So ifthe order given up front is: "Sergeant major move·to the head of the column," it comes out the other end as "Eight troop- ers to be shot at orice," or something like that. And this is just how world history is made.
Answer Number Three: If, therefore, we were to transplant a gen- eration of present-day Europeans at a tender age into the Egypt of 5000 B. C. , world history would begin afresh in. the year 5000 B. C. , repeat itself for a while, and then, for reasons nobody could fathom, gradually begin to deviate from its established course.
Digression Two: The law of world history-it now occurred to him-was none other than the fundamental principle of government in old Kakania: "muddling through. " Kakania was an incredibly clever state.
Digression Three or Answer Number Four: The course of history was therefore not that of a billiard ball-which, once it is hit, takes a definite line-but resembles the movement of clouds, or the path of a man sauntering through the streets, turned aside by a shadow here, a crowd there, an unusual architectural outcrop, until at last he ar- rives at a place he never knew or meant to go to. Inherent in the course of history is a certain going off course. The present is always like the last house of a town, which somehow no longer counts as a house in town. Each generation wonders "Who am I, and what were my forebears? " It would make more sense to ask ''Where am I? " and to assume that one's predecessors were not different in kind but merely in a different place; that would be a move in the right direc- tion, he thought.
He had been numbering his own answers and digressions as he went along, while glancing now into some passing face, now into a shop window, to keep his thoughts from running away with him en- tirely, but had nevertheless gone slightly astray and had to stop for a moment to see where he was and find the best way home. Before taking this route, he tried once more to get his question straight in his mind. Crazy little Clarisse was quite right in saying that we should make history, make it up, even though he had argued against it with her. But why didn't we?
All that occurred to him in answer at the moment was Director Fischel of lloyd's Bank, his friend Leo Fischel, with whom years ago he had sometimes sat outside a cafe in the summer. For if Ulrich had
been talking to Fischel instead of to himself, Fischel would typically have said: "I should only have your worries! " Ulrich appreciated this refreshing answer Fischel would have given. "My dear Fischel," he immediately replied in his mind, "it's not that simple. When I say history, I mean, ifyou recall, our life. And I did admit from the start that it's in very bad taste for me to ask: Why don't people create his- tory-that is, why do they attack history like so many beasts only when they are wounded, when their shirttails are on fire, in short, only in an emergency? So why is this question in such bad taste? What do \'Ve have against it, when all it means is that people shouldn't let their lives drift as they do? ""'
"Everybody knows the answer," Director Fischel would retort. "We're lucky when the politicians and the clergy and the big shots with nothing to do, and everybody else who runs around with all the answers, keep their hands off our daily lives. Besides which, we're a civilized people. I f only so many people nowadays weren't so uncivi- lized! " And of course Director Fischel was right. A man is lucky if he knows his way around stocks and bonds, and other people refrain from dabbling so much in history just because they think they know how it works. We couldn't live without ideas, God forbid, but we have to aim at a certain equilibrium among them, a balance ofpower, an armed truce of ideas, so that none of the contending parties can get too much done. Fischel's sedative was civilization. It was the fun- damental sentiment of civilization, in fact. And yet there is also the contrary sentiment, asserting itself more and more, that the times of heroic-political history, made by chance and its champions, have become largely obsolete and must be replaced by a planned solu- tion to all problems, a solution in which all those concerned must participate.
At this point the Ulrich Year came to an end with Ulrich's arrival on his own doorstep.
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At home he found the usual stack of mail fmwarded from Count Leinsdorf's. An industrialist was offering an outsize cash award for the best results in the military trainirlg of young civilians. The arch- bishopric opposed the founding ofa great orphanage, on the grounds that it had to be on guard against creeping interdenominationalism. The Committee on Public Worship and Education reported on the progress of the defmitive suggestion, tentatively announced, to erect a great Emperor of Peace and Austrian Peoples Monument near the Imperial Residence; after consultation with the Imperial and Royal Office for Public Worship and Education, and after sounding out the leading art, engineering, and architectural associations, the Commit- tee had found the differences of opinion such that it saw itself con- strained-without prejudice to eventual future requirements and subject to the Central Executive Committee's. consent-to announce a competition for the best plan for a competition with regard to such an eventual monument. The Chamberlain's Office, having taken due cognizance of the proposals submitted three weeks earlier, was re- turning them to the Central Executive Committee with regrets that no decision thereon by His Most Gracious Majesty could be passed on at this time, but that it was in any case desirable for the time being to let public opinion continue to crystallize on these as well as other points. The Imperial and Royal Office for Public Worship and Edu- cation stated in response to the Committee's communication ref. no. so-and-so that it was not in a position to favor any special action in support ofthe Oehl Shorthand Association. The Block Letter Society for Mental Health announced its foundation and applied for a grant.
And so it went. Ulrich pushed aside this packet of "realities" and brooded on it for a while. Suddenly he got to his feet, called for his hat and coat, left word that he would be back in an hour or so, phoned for a cab, and returned to Clarisse.
Darkness had fallen. A little light fell onto the road from only one window of her house; footprints in the snow had frozen, making holes to stumble over; the outer door was locked and the visitor un- expected, so that' his shouts, knocking, and hand clapping went un- heard for the longest time. When at last Ulrich was back inside, it did not seem to be the same room he had left such a short time ago but seemed another world, surprised to see him, with a table laid for a simple private meal for two, every chair occupied by something that had settled down on it, and walls that offered the intruder a certain resistance.
Clarisse was wearing a plain woolen bathrobe and laughing. Wal- ter, who had let the latecomer in, blinked his eyes and slipped the huge house key into a table drawer. Without beating about the bush, Ulrich said, ''I'm back because I owe Clarisse an answer. " Then he resumed talking at the point where Walter's arrival had interrupted their conversation. After a while, the room, the house, and all sense oftime had vanished, and the conversation ~ hanging somewhere up in the blue of space, in the net of the starS.
Ulrich presented them with his scheme for living the history of ideas instead of the history of the world. The difference, he said to begin with, would have less to do with what was happening than with the interpretation one gave it, with the purpose it was meant to serve, with the system of which the individual events were a part. The pre- vailing system was that of reality, and it was just like a bad play. It's not for nothing that we speak of a "theater of world events"-the same roles, complications, and plots keep turning up in life. People make love because there is love to be made, and the)' do it in the prevailing mode; people are proud as the Noble Savage, or as a Span- iard, a virgin, or a lion; in ninety out of a hundred cases even murder is committed only because it is perceived as tragic or grandiose. Apart from the truly notable exceptions, the successful political molders of the world in particular have a lot in common with the hacks who write for the commercial theater; the lively scenes they create bore us by their lack of ideas and novelty, but by the same token they lull us into that sleepy state oflowered resistance in which
we acquiesce in everything put before us. Seen in this light, history arises out of routine ideas, out of indifference to ideas, ·SO that reality comes primarily of nothing being done for ideas. This might be
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briefly summed up, he claimed, by saying that we care too little about what is happening and too much about to whom, when, and where it is happening, so that it is not the essence of what happens that matters to us but only the plot; not the opening up of some new experience oflife but only the pattern ofwhat we already lmow, cor- responding precisely to the difference between good plays and merely successful plays. Which means that we must do the opposite of what we do, and first of all give up being possessive about our ex- periences. We should look upon our experiences less as something personal and real and more as something general and abstract, or with the detachment with which we look at a painting or listen to a song. They should not be turned in upon ourselves but upward and outward. And if this was true on the personal plane, something more
would have to be done on the collective plane, something that Ulrich could not quite pin down and that he called a pressing of the grapes, cellaring the wine, concentrating the spiritual juices, and without all of which the individual could not feel other than helpless, of course, abandoned to his own resources. As he talked on in this vein, he re- membered the moment when he had told Diotima that reality ought to be done away with.
Almost as a matter of course, Walter began by declaring all this to be an obvious commonplace. As if the whole world, literature, art, science, religion, were. not already a "pressing and cellaring" in any easel As ifany literate person denied the value ofideas or failed to pay homage to the spirit, to beauty and goodness! As if education were anything other than an initiation into the world ofthe human spirit!
Ulrich clarified his position by suggesting that education was merely an initiation into the contemporary and prevalent modes and manners, which are random creations, so that those who seek to ac- quire a mind oftheir own must first ofall realize that they have none as yet. An entirely open mind, poetically creative and morally experi- mental on a grand scale, was what he called it.
Now Walter said that Ulrich was being impossible. ''You paint a charming picture," he said, "as though we had any choice . between living our ideas or living our lives. But you may remember the lines
I am no syllogism nor afiction-
! am a man, with all his contradtcttonl
Why not go a step further? Why not demand that we get rid of the belly to make space for the mind? But I say to you: A man is made of common clay! That we stretch out an arm and draw it back again, that we have to decide whether to tum right or left, that we are made of habits, prejudices, and earth, and nevertheless make our way as best we can-that is what makes us fully human. What you are say- ing, tested even slightly against reality, shows it up as being, at best, mere literature. "
"Ifyou will let me include all the other arts under that heading too," Ulrich conceded, "all the teachings on how to live, the reli- gions, and so on, then I do mean something like that: namely, that our existence should consist wholly of literature. "
"Really? You call the Savior's mercy or the life of Napoleon litera- ture? " Walter exclaimed. But then he had a better idea, and he turned -to his friend with all the aplomb of the man holding trumps and said: "You are the kind of man who regards can'ned vegetables as the raison d'etre of fresh greens. "
"You're absolutely right. And you could also say that I am one of those who will only cook with salt," Ulrich coolly admitted. He was tired of talking about it.
At this point Clarisse joined in, turning to Walter:
"Why do you contradict him? Aren't you the one who always says, whenever something special happens: Here is something we should be able to put on the stage, for everyone to see. and understand? " And turning to Ulrich in agreement, she said: "What we really ought to do is sing! We ought to sing ourselves! "
She had stood up and entered the little circle formed by the chairs. She held herself with a certain awkwardness, as though about to demonstrate her idea by going into a dance. Ulrich, who found such displays of naked emotion distasteful, remembered at this point that most people or, bluntly speaking, the average sort, whose minds are stimulated without their being able to create, long to act out their own selves. These are ofcourse the same people who are so likely to find, going on inside them, something "unutterable"-truly a word that says it all for them and that is the clouded screen upon which whatever they say appears vaguely magnified, so that they can never tell its real value. To put a stop to this, he said: "This was not what I meant, but Clarisse is right; the theater proves that intense personal
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feelings may serve an impersonal purpose, a complex of meaning and metaphor that makes them more or less transcend the merely personal. "
"I know exactly what Ulrich means," Clarisse chimed in again. "I can't remember ever getting a special pleasure out of something be- cause it was happeni,ng to me. It was happening, that was the thing! Uke music, for instance," she s! rld, turning to her husband. "You don't want to own it; the joy ofit is that it's there! We absorb our experiences and expand them into something beyond ourselves in a single movement; we seek to realize ourselves, yes, but not the way a shopkeeper realizes a profit! "
Walter clutched his head, but for Clarisse's sake he switched to another argument. He did his best to make his words come with the force of a steady, cold jet. "If you value an experience only to the degree that it generates spiritual energy," he said to Ulrich, "then let me ask you this: Doesn't that presuppose a life that has no other aim than to produce spiritual energy and power? "
"It is the life that all existing societies claim as their goal," Ulrich replied.
"In such a world the people would presumably lead their lives under the influence of great passions and ideas, philosophies and novels," Walter continued. "Let me take it a step further: Would they live . so as to make great philosophy and poetry possible, or would their lives be philosophy and poetry in the flesh, as it were? I'm sure I know which you mean, since the first case would be exactly what we mean by a civilization in the first place. But ifyou mean the second, aren't you overlooking the fact that such a life-as--art, or whatever you'd call it, unimaginable as it is to begin with, would make philosophy and art quite superfluous; it means one thing only, the end of art! " He flashed this trump card for Clarisse's benefit.
It took the trick. Even Ulrich needed a while to marshal his forces. Then he laughed and said: "Don't you know that every perfect life would be the end of art? It seems to me that you yourself are on the way to perfecting your life at the expense ofyour art. "
He had intended no sarcasm, but Clarisse pricked up her ears.
Ulrich went on: "Every great book breathes this spirit of love for the fate of individuals at odds with the forms the community tries to impose on them. It leads to decisions that cannot be decided; there is
nothing to be done but to give a true account of their lives. Extract the meaning out of all literature, and what you will get is a denial, however incomplete, but nonetheless an endless series of individual examples all based on experience, which refute all the accepted rules, principles, and prescriptions underpinning the very society that loves these works of art! In the end, a poem, with its mystery, cuts through to the point where the meaning of the world is tied to thousands ofwords in constant use, severs all these strings, and turns it into a balloon floating offinto space. Ifthis is what we call beauty, as we usually do, then beauty is 'an indescribably more ruthless and cruel upheaval than any political revolution ever was. "
Walter had turned pale to the lips. He hated this view of art as a negation of life, of art against life. He regarded it as offensively bohe- mian, the dregs of an outdated impulse to shock the conventional mind. He caught the irony of the self-evident fact that in a perfect world there would be no more beauty because it would be superflu- ous, but he did not hear his friend's unspoken question. For Ulrich was aware of having oversimplified his case. He could just as easily have said the opposite, that ·art is subversive because art is love; it beautifies its object by loving it, and there may be no other way in this world to beautify a thing or a creature than by loving it. And it is only because even our love consists of mere fragments that beauty works by intensification and contrast. And it is only in the sea of love that the concept of perfection, beyond all intensification, fuses with the concept of beauty, which depends on intensification. Once again Ulrich's thoughts had brushed against "the realm," and he stopped short, annoyed with himself. Walter had meanwhile pulled himself together, and after having rejected his friend's suggestion that peo- ple should live more or less as they read, as a commonplace idea as well as an impossible one, he proceeded to prove it evil and vulgar too.
"If a man," he began in the same artfully controlled fashion as before, "were to live his life as you suggest, he would have to ac- cept-not to mention other impossible implications-everything that gave him a good idea, in fact everything even capable of doing so. This would of course mean universal decadence, but since you don't mind that side of it, presumably-unless you are thinking of those vague general arrangements about which you haven't gone into
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detail-let me ask you only about the personal consequences. It seems to me that such a man is bound to be, in every case in which he doesn't happen to be the poet of his own life, worse off than an ani- mal; if he couldn't come up with an idea, then he couldn't come to any decision either, so that for a great part of his life he wot,Ud simply be at the mercy ofall his impulses, moods, the usual banal passions- in short, at the mercy of all the most impersonal elements of which a man consists, and for as long as the channel leading upward re- mained blocked, he would have to let himself be the toy of every- thing that came into his head! " ·
"Then he would have to refuse to do anything," Clarisse answered in Ulrich's stead. "This is the active passivism ofwhich a person must be capable in some circum~tances. "
Walter could not make himselflook at her. Her capacity for refusal was, after all, a major factor in their life together; Clarisse, looking like a little angel in the long nightgown that covered her feet, had stood on her bed declaiming Nietzschean sentiments, with her teeth flashing: "I toss my question like a plumb line into your soul! You want a child and marriage, but I ask you: Are you the man to have a child? Are you the victorious' master of his own powers? Or is it merely the voice oftlle animal in you, the slave ofnature, speaking? " In the twilight of the bedroom this had made a rather gruesome spectacle, while Walter had tried in vain to coax her back down under the bedclothes. And now here she was, armed for the future with a new slogan: active passivism, ofwhich a person had to be capa- ble ifneed be-a phrase that clearly smacked ofa man without quali- ties. Had she been confiding in Ulrich? Was he encouraging her in her eccentricities? These questions were writhing like worms in Wal- ter's heart, so that he almost felt sick to his stomach. His face turned ashen and all the tension went out of it, leaving it a mass of helpless wrinkles.
Ulrich saw this and asked him warmly if anything was wrong?
With an effort, Walter said no and brightly smiling, invited Ulrich to go on with his nonsense.
"Oh well," Ulrich conceded, "you're not so wrong there. But in a spirit of good sportsmanship we often tolerate actions that are harm- ful to ourselves, ifour opponent performs them in an attractive way;
the quality ofthe performance somehow contends with the quality of \
the damage done. Very often, too, we have an idea that takes us a step farther along, but all too soon habit, inertia, selfish promptings, and so on take its place, because that's the way things go. So I may have been describing a condition that can never be carried to its proper conclusion, but there's no denying that it is wholly the condi- tion of the world in which we live. ,
Walter had regained his equanimity. "Ifyou tum the truth upside down, you can always say something that is just as true as it is topsy- turvy," he said gently, without disguising his reluctance for any fur- ther argument. "It's just like you to call something impossible but real. "
Clarisse, however, was rubbing her nose hard. "And yet it seems very important to me," she said, "that there's something impossible in every one of us. It explains so many things. While I was listening to you both, it seemed to me that ifwe could be cut open our entire life might look like a ring, just something that goes around something. " She had already, earlier on, pulled off her wedding ring, and now she peered through it at the lamplit wall. "There's nothing inside, and yet it looks as 'though that were precisely what matters most. Ulrich can't be expected to express this perfectly the flrst time he tries. "
And so this discussion ended after all, sad to say, with Walter get- ting hurt once again.
ss
· GENERAL STUMM TRIES TO BRING SOME ORDER INTO THE CIVILIAN MIND
Ulrich had probably been out an hour longer than he had indicated on leaving, and was told on his return that a military gentleman had been waiting for him for quite some time. Upstairs, to his surprise, he found General Stumm, who greeted him as an old comrade in arms.
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"Do forgive me, old friend," the General called out to him in wel- come, "for barging in on you so late, but I couldn't get off duty any sooner, so I've been sitting here for a good two hours, surrounded by your books-what terrifying heaps of them you've got! "
After an exchange of courtesies, it turned out that Stumm had come for help with an urgent problem. Sitting there with one leg flung jauntily over the other, not an easy posture for a man with his waistline, and holding out his arm with its little hand, he said: "Ur- gent? When one of my aides comes along with an urgent piece of business I usually tell him there's nothing urgent in this world except making it in time to a certain closet. But jokes aside, I had to come and see you about something most important. I've already told you that I regard your cousin's house as a special opportunity for me to learn more about the civilian world and its major concerns. Some- thing nonmilitary, for a change, and I can assure you that I am enor- mously impressed. On the other hand, while we brass hats may have our weaknesses, we're not nearly as stupid as most people seem . to think. I hope you'll agree that when we get something done, we make a good job of it. You do agree? I knew I could trust you to see that,' which is why I can confess to you frankly that even so, I am ashamed of our army mentality. Ashamed, I say! Other than our Chaplain General, I seem to be the man in our army who has most to do with the spiritual and mental side of things. But I don't mind telling you that ifyou take a good look at the military mind, outstanding as it is, it seems to me like a morning roll call. You do remember what a morn- ing roll call is like? The duty officer puts down on his report: So many men and horses present, so many men and horses absent, sick or whatever, Uhlan Leitomischl absent without leave, and so on. B'ut why such and such numbers of men and horses are present or sick or whatever, that he never puts down. And it's precisely the sort of thing you need to know when dealing with a civilian administration. When a· soldier has something to say, he keeps it short, simple, and to the point, but I often have to confer with those civilian types from the various ministries, and they always want to know, at every tum, the whys and wherefores of every proposal I make, with refer- ence to considerations and interactions on a higher plane. So what I did-this is just between ourselves, you understand-! proposed to my chief, His Excellency General Frost von Aufbruch, or rather I
hope to surprise him with it . . . anyhow, my idea is t<? use my oppor- tunities at your cousin's to get the hang ofit all, all these higher con- siderations and significations, and put them to use, if I may say so without blowing my own hom, to upgrade our military mentality. After all, the army has its doctors, vets, pharmacists, clergy, auditors, commissary officers, engineers, and bandmasters, but what it hasn't got yet is a Central Liaison for the civilian mind.
Only now did Ulrich notice that Stumm von Bordwehr had brought along a briefcase, which he had propped against the desk, one of those leather bags with a shoulder strap for carrying official files through the mazes of government corridors and from one gov- ernment building to another. The General must have come with an orderly who was waiting for him downstairs, although Ulrich had not seen anyone, for it was costing Stumm quite an effort to pull the heavy bag onto his knees, so as to spring the little steel lock with its imposing air of battlefield technology.
"I haven't been wasting any time since I started attending your meetings"-he smiled, while the light-blue tunic of his uniform tightened around its gold buttons as he stooped-"but there are things, you see, I'm still not quite sure about. " He fished out of the bag a number of sheets covered with odd-looking notes and lines.
"Your cousin," he elucidated, "your cousin and I had a quite ex- haustive talk about it, and what she wants, understandably enough, is that her efforts to raise a spiritual monument to our Gracious Sover- eign should lead to an idea, an idea outranking: as it were, all of the current ideas. But I've noticed already, much as I admire all these people she's invited to work on it, that it's a very tall order. The min- ute one man says something, another will come up with the oppo- site-haven't you noticed it? -but what strikes me, for one, as even worse is that the civilian mind seems to be what we call, speaking of a horse, a poor feeder. You remember, don't you? You c;m stuff that kind of beast with double rations, but it never gets any fatter! Or if it does," he qualified, in response to a mild objection from his host, "even ifit does gain weight, its bones don't develop, and its coat stays dull; all it gets is a grass belly. I fmd that fascinating, you see, and I've made up my mind to look into it, to figure out why we can't get some order into this business. "
Sttimm smiled as he handed his former lieutenant the first of his
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papers. "They can say what they like about us," he said, "but we anny men have always known how to get things in order. Here's my out- line ofthe main ideas I gotout ofthose fellows at your cousin's meet- ings. As you'll see, every one of them, when you ask him privately, places top priority on something different. " Ulrich looked at the paper in astonishment. It was drawn up like a registration form or, in fact, a military list, divided by horizontal and vertical lines into sec- tions, with entries in words that somehow resisted the format, for what he read here, written in military calligraphy, were the names of Jesus Christ; Buddha, Gautama, aka Siddhartha; Lao-tzu; Luther, Martin; Goethe, Wolfgang; Ganghofer, Ludwig; Chamberlain, and evidently many more, running on to another page. In a second col- umn he read the words "Christianity,'' "Imperialism," "Century of Interchange," and so on, with yet more columns ofwords beyond.
"I might even call it a page from the Domesday Book of modem culture," Stumm commented, "because we have expanded it further, and it now contains the names of the ideas, plus their originators, that have moved us in the last twenty-five years. I had no idea what a job it would bel" When Ulrich asked him how he had got this inven- tory together, he was glad to explain his system.
"I had to commandeer a captain, two lieutenants, and five non- coms to get it done in such short order. Ifwe'd been able to do it in a really up-to-date fashion, we'd simply have sent around a question- naire to all the regiments: 'Who do you think is the greatest man? ' The way it's done nowadays when the papers take a poll and all that, you know, together with an order to report the results in percent- ages. But of course you can't do that sort of thing in the army, be- cause no unit would be allowed to report any answer other than 'His Majesty the Emperor. ' So then . I thought of going into which books are the most widely read and have the biggest printings, but there we soon found out that next to the Bible it's the Post Office New Year's booklet, with the new postal rates and the old jokes, which every 'oc- cupant' gets free from his postman in return for his annual tip, which again made us realize what a tricky thing the civilian mind is, since those books that appeal to everyone are gene~y rated the best, or at least, as they tell me, an author in Germanymust have an awful lot of like-minded readers before he can pass for an impressive thinker. So we couldn't take that route either, and how we finally did it I couldn't
tell you right now; it was an idea of Corporal Hirsch's, together with Lieutenant Melichar, but we did it. "
General Stumm put the sheet of paper aside and, with an expres- sion eloquent with disappointment, pulled out another. After taking -inventory of the Central European stock of ideas, he had not only discovered to his regret that it consisted of nothing but contradic- tions but also been amazed to find that these contradictions, on
closer scrutiny, tended to merge into one another.
"By now I'm used to being told something different by each of the
famous men at your cousin's when I ask them to enlighten me about something," he said, "but every time I've been talking to them for a while, they still seem to be saying the same thing-that's what I can't get into my head, and it could be that my army-issue brain isn't up to it. " The problem that was worrying General Stumm was no trifle and actually should not have been left in the War Office's lap, even though it could be shown that it was intimately related to war. Our times rejoice in a number of great ideas, and by a special kindness of fate each idea is paired with its opposite, so that individualism and collectivism, nationalism and internationalism, socialism and capital- ism, imperialism and pacifism, rationalism and superstition, are all equally at home in them, together with the unused remnants of countless opposites of an equal or lesser contemporary value. By now this seems as natural as day and night, hot and cold, love and hate, and, for every tensor muscle in the body, the pi:esence ofits opposing extensor muscle, nor would it have occurred to General Stumm---or anyone else--to see anything unusual in any of this, had his ambition not taken the plunge into this adventure because of his love _for Di- otima. Love cannot settle for a unity of Nature based upon opposites; its need for tenderness demands a unity without contradictions, and so the General had tried in every possible way to establish such a unity. .
"Here I have," he told Ulrich as he showed him the relevant pages of his report, "a list I've made up of all the Commanders in Chief of Ideas, i. e. , all the names in recent times that have led sizable battal- ions of ideas to victory. On this other page here you see the battle order; this one is a strategical plan; and this last one is an attempt to establish depots or ordnance bases from which to move further sup-' plies of ideas up to the front. Now, I'm sure you can se&-I've made
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certain that the drawing shows this clearly-when looking at any set of ideas in action, that it draws its supplies of additional troops and intellectual maMriel not only from its own depots but also from those of its opponents; you see how it keeps shifting positions and how it suddenly turns unaccountably against its own backup forces; you can see ideas constantly crossing over to the other side and back again, so that you will find them now in one line of battle, now in the other. In short, there's no way to draw up a decent plan of communications or line of demarcation or anything else, and the whole thing is-though I can't actually believe what I'm sayingl-what any one of our com- manding officers would be bound to·call one hell of a mess! "
Stumm slipped several dozen pages into Ulrich's hands. They were covered with strategic plans, railway lines, networks of roads, charts of range and firing power, symbols for different units and for brigade headquarters, circles, squares, crosshatched areas; just like a regular General Staff's plan of operations, it had red, green, yellow, and blue lines running this way and that, with all sorts of little flags, meaning a variety of things (such as were to become so popular the following year), painted in all over the place.
"It's no use," Stumm sighed. "I've tried doing it differently, by representing the problem from a military-geographical angle instead ofa strategic one, in the hope ofgetting at least a clearly defined field ofoperations, but that didn't work either. Have a look at the oro- and hydrographic sketches. " Ulrich saw symbols for mountain peaks branching out and massing together again elsewhere, . and for springs, networks of streams, lakes. ''I've experimented with all sorts ofother ways oftrying to pull the whole thing together," the General said, with a gleam of irritation or panic in his normally rp. eny gaze. "But do you know what it's like? It's like traveling second class in Galicia and picking up ctab. lice. I've never felt so fllthy helpless! When you spend a lot of time with ideas you end up itching all over, and you can scratch till you bleed, without getting any relief. " His vivid description made Ulrich laugh.
"No, no, don't laugh! " the General pleaded. "I've been thinking that you, now that you've become a leading civilian, would under- stand this stuff and that you'd understand my problem too. So I've come to you for help. I have far too much respect for the world ofthe intellect to believe that I can be right about all this. "
"You take thinking far too seriously, Colonel," Ulrich said to com- fort him. The "Colonel" had just slipped out, and he apologized: "Sorry, General; for a minute you had me back in the days when you sometimes ordered me to join you in a philosophical chat in the cor- ner ofthe mess hall. I can only repeat, a man shouldn't take the art of thinking as seriously as you are doing. "
"Not take it seriously! " Stumm groaned. "But I can't go back to just getting along in the mindless way I used to live. Don't you see that? It makes me shudder to think how long I lived between the parade ground and the barracks, with nothing but my messmates' dirty jokes and their stories about their sexual exploits. "
They sat down to supper. Ulrich was touched by the General's childlike ideas, on which he then acted with such manly courage, and by the inexhaustible youthfulness that comes from having lived in small garrison towns at the right time of life. He had invited his companion of those years long gone to share his evening meal, and the General was so obsessed by his desire to enter into Ulrich's arcane world that he picked up each slice of sausage with utmost ~oncentration.
"Your cousin," he said, raising his wineglass, "is the most marvel- ous woman I know. They rightly call her a second Diotima; I've never known anyone like her. You know, my wife . . . you haven't met her. I've nothing to complain of, and then we have the children, but a woman like Diotima . . . well, there's no comparison! When she's receiving I sometimes position myself behind her-what majestic feminine curvesl-while at the same time she's talking up front with some ou'tstanding civilian on so high a level that I honestly wish I could take notes! And that Section Chief she's married to has abso- lutely no idea how lucky he is to have her! I'm sorry if this fellow Tuzzi happens to be someone you like, but I personally can't stand him! All he ever does is slink around with a smirk on his face as if he knew all the answers and won't tell. But I'm not buying that, because with all my respect for the civilian world, government officials are the lowest on my totem pole; they're nothing but a kind of civilian army that try to get the better of us every chance they have, with the outra- geous politeness of a cat sitting high up in a tree and looking down at a dog. Your Dr. Amheim now, that's a man of a different caliber en- tirely," Stumm went on, "though he may be a bit conceited too, but
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there's no denying his superiority. " He had evidently been drinking too fast, after so much talking, because he was now warming up and growing confidential.
"I don't know what it is," he said. "Maybe the reason I don't un- derstand is that a fellow's mind gets so oomplicated nowadays, but even though I admire your cousin myselfas if-I must say, as if I had a great lump sticking in my throat-still, it's a relief to me that she's in love with Amheim. "
"What? Are you sure there's something going on between them? " Ulrich burst out, although it should not really have been any concern of his; Stumm goggled at him mistrustfully with his shortsighted eyes, still misty with emotion, and snapped on his pince-nez.
"I never said he'd had her," was his straight,. soldierly retort. He put his pince-nez back in his pocket and added in quite unsoldierly fashion: "But I wouldn't mind if he had either; devil take me, I've told you already that a man's mind gets complicated in that company. I'm certainly no lover boy, but when I imagine the tenderness Di- otima could offer this man I feel a tenderness for him myself, and vice versa, as if th~ kisses he gave her were my own. "
"He gives her kisses? "
"How do I know? I don't go around spying ori them. I only mean, if he did. I don't really know what I meari. But I did see him once catching her hand, when they thought nobody was looking, and then for a·while they were so quiet together, the kind of stillness you get on the command 'All helmets off, kneel for prayer! ' and then she whispered something, it sounded like an appeal, and he answered something. I remember what they said word for word, because it was so hard to understand; what she said was: 'If only we could flnd the right idea to save us,' and he said: 'Only a pure, unflawed idea of love can save us. ' He seemed to have taken her words too personally, be- cause she must have meant the saving idea she needs for her great campaign-What are you laughing at? But feel free to laugh; I've always had my own funny ways, I guess, and now I've made up my mind to help her. There must be something one can do; there are so many ideas floating around, one of them will have to be the saving idea in the end. But I'll need you to give me a hand!
