No More Learning

Thus has an intention, innocent at first, if not laudable, the intention
of regulating his own behaviour by the experience of others, by an
accidental declension of minuteness, betrayed Nugaculus, not only to a
foolish, but vicious waste of a life which might have been honourably
passed in publick services, or domestick virtues. He has lost his original
intention, and given up his mind to employments that engross, but do not
improve it.




No. 104. SATURDAY, MARCH 16, 1751.


_----Nihil est, quod credere de se_
_Non possit. ----_
JUV. Sat. iv. 70.

None e'er rejects hyperboles of praise.


The apparent insufficiency of every individual to his own happiness or
safety, compels us to seek from one another assistance and support. The
necessity of joint efforts for the execution of any great or extensive
design, the variety of powers disseminated in the species, and the
proportion between the defects and excellencies of different persons,
demand an interchange of help, and communication of intelligence, and
by frequent reciprocations of beneficence unite mankind in society and
friendship.

If it can be imagined that there ever was a time when the inhabitants of
any country were in a state of equality, without distinction of rank,
or peculiarity of possessions, it is reasonable to believe that every
man was then loved in proportion as he could contribute by his strength,
or his skill, to the supply of natural wants; there was then little
room for peevish dislike, or capricious favour; the affection admitted
into the heart was rather esteem than tenderness; and kindness was only
purchased by benefits. But when by force or policy, by wisdom or by
fortune, property and superiority were introduced and established, so
that many were condemned to labour for the support of a few, then they
whose possessions swelled above their wants, naturally laid out their
superfluities upon pleasure; and those who could not gain friendship by
necessary offices, endeavoured to promote their interest by luxurious
gratifications, and to create needs, which they might be courted to
supply.

The desires of mankind are much more numerous than their attainments, and
the capacity of imagination much larger than actual enjoyment. Multitudes
are therefore unsatisfied with their allotment; and he that hopes to
improve his condition by the favour of another, and either finds no room
for the exertion of great qualities, or perceives himself excelled by his
rivals, will, by other expedients, endeavour to become agreeable where
he cannot be important, and learn, by degrees, to number the _art of
pleasing_ among the most useful studies, and most valuable acquisitions.

This art, like others, is cultivated in proportion to its usefulness, and
will always flourish most where it is most rewarded; for this reason we
find it practised with great assiduity under absolute governments, where
honours and riches are in the hands of one man, whom all endeavour to
propitiate, and who soon becomes so much accustomed to compliance and
officiousness, as not easily to find, in the most delicate address, that
novelty which is necessary to procure attention.

It is discovered by a very few experiments, that no man is much pleased
with a companion, who does not increase, in some respect, his fondness
of himself; and, therefore, he that wishes rather to be led forward to
prosperity by the gentle hand of favour, than to force his way by labour
and merit, must consider with more care how to display his patron's
excellencies than his own; that whenever he approaches, he may fill the
imagination with pleasing dreams, and chase away disgust and weariness by
a perpetual succession of delightful images.

This may, indeed, sometimes be effected by turning the attention upon
advantages which are really possessed, or upon prospects which reason
spreads before hope; for whoever can deserve or require to be courted,
has generally, either from nature or from fortune, gifts, which he may
review with satisfaction, and of which, when he is artfully recalled to
the contemplation, he will seldom be displeased.

But those who have once degraded their understanding to an application
only to the passions, and who have learned to derive hope from any other
sources than industry and virtue, seldom retain dignity and magnanimity
sufficient to defend them against the constant recurrence of temptation
to falsehood. He that is too desirous to be loved, will soon learn to
flatter, and when he has exhausted all the variations of honest praise,
and can delight no longer with the civility of truth, he will invent
new topicks of panegyrick, and break out into raptures at virtues and
beauties conferred by himself.

The drudgeries of dependance would, indeed, be aggravated by hopelessness
of success, if no indulgence was allowed to adulation. He that will
obstinately confine his patron to hear only the commendations which he
deserves, will soon be forced to give way to others that regale him with
more compass of musick. The greatest human virtue bears no proportion
to human vanity. We always think ourselves better than we are, and are
generally desirous that others should think us still better than we
think ourselves. To praise us for actions or dispositions which deserve
praise, is not to confer a benefit, but to pay a tribute. We have always
pretensions to fame, which, in our own hearts, we know to be disputable,
and which we are desirous to strengthen by a new suffrage; we have always
hopes which we suspect to be fallacious, and of which we eagerly snatch
at every confirmation.

It may, indeed, be proper to make the first approaches under the conduct
of truth, and to secure credit of future encomiums, by such praise as
may be ratified by the conscience; but the mind once habituated to the
lusciousness of eulogy, becomes, in a short time, nice and fastidious,
and, like a vitiated palate, is incessantly calling for higher
gratifications.

It is scarcely credible to what degree discernment may be dazzled by the
mist of pride, and wisdom infatuated by the intoxication of flattery;
or how low the genius may descend by successive gradations of servility,
and how swiftly it may fall down the precipice of falsehood. No man can,
indeed, observe, without indignation, on what names, both of ancient and
modern times, the utmost exuberance of praise has been lavished, and by
what hands it has been bestowed. It has never yet been found, that the
tyrant, the plunderer, the oppressor, the most hateful of the hateful,
the most profligate of the profligate, have been denied any celebrations
which they were willing to purchase, or that wickedness and folly have
not found correspondent flatterers through all their subordinations,
except when they have been associated with avarice or poverty, and have
wanted either inclination or ability to hire a panegyrist.

As there is no character so deformed as to fright away from it the
prostitutes of praise, there is no degree of encomiastick veneration
which pride has refused. The emperors of Rome suffered themselves to be
worshipped in their lives with altars and sacrifices; and, in an age more
enlightened, the terms peculiar to the praise and worship of the Supreme
Being, have been applied to wretches whom it was the reproach of humanity
to number among men; and whom nothing but riches or power hindered those
that read or wrote their deification, from hunting into the toils of
justice, as disturbers of the peace of nature.

There are, indeed, many among the poetical flatterers, who must be
resigned to infamy without vindication, and whom we must confess to have
deserted the cause of virtue for pay; they have committed, against full
conviction, the crime of obliterating the distinctions between good and
evil, and, instead of opposing the encroachments of vice, have incited
her progress, and celebrated her conquests. But there is a lower class of
sycophants, whose understanding has not made them capable of equal guilt.
Every man of high rank is surrounded with numbers, who have no other rule
of thought or action, than his maxims, and his conduct; whom the honour
of being numbered among his acquaintance, reconciles to all his vices,
and all his absurdities; and who easily persuade themselves to esteem
him, by whose regard they consider themselves as distinguished and exalted.

It is dangerous for mean minds to venture themselves within the sphere
of greatness. Stupidity is soon blinded by the splendour of wealth, and
cowardice is easily fettered in the shackles of dependance. To solicit
patronage, is, at least, in the event, to set virtue to sale. None can
be pleased without praise, and few can be praised without falsehood;
few can be assiduous without servility, and none can be servile without
corruption.




No. 105. TUESDAY, MARCH 19, 1751.


_----Animorum_
_Impulsu, et cæcâ magnâque cupidine ducti. _
JUV. Sat. x. 350.

Vain man runs headlong, to caprice resign'd;
Impell'd by passion, and with folly blind.


I was lately considering, among other objects of speculation, the new
attempt of an _universal register_, an office, in which every man
may lodge an account of his superfluities and wants, of whatever he
desires to purchase or to sell. My imagination soon presented to me the
latitude to which this design may be extended by integrity and industry,
and the advantages which may be justly hoped from a general mart of
intelligence, when once its reputation shall be so established, that
neither reproach nor fraud shall be feared from it: when an application
to it shall not be censured as the last resource of desperation, nor its
informations suspected as the fortuitous suggestions of men obliged not
to appear ignorant. A place where every exuberance may be discharged,
and every deficiency supplied; where every lawful passion may find
its gratifications, and every honest curiosity receive satisfaction;
where the stock of a nation, pecuniary and intellectual, may be brought
together, and where all conditions of humanity may hope to find relief,
pleasure, and accommodation; must equally deserve the attention of the
merchant and philosopher, of him who mingles in the tumult of business,
and him who only lives to amuse himself with the various employments
and pursuits of others. Nor will it be an uninstructing school to the
greatest masters of method and dispatch, if such multiplicity can be
preserved from embarrassment, and such tumult from inaccuracy.

While I was concerting this splendid project, and filling my thoughts with
its regulation, its conveniences, its variety, and its consequences, I
sunk gradually into slumber; but the same images, though less distinct,
still continued to float upon my fancy. I perceived myself at the gate
of an immense edifice, where innumerable multitudes were passing without
confusion; every face on which I fixed my eyes, seemed settled in the
contemplation of some important purpose, and every foot was hastened by
eagerness and expectation. I followed the crowd without knowing whither
I should be drawn, and remained a while in the unpleasing state of an
idler, where all other beings were busy, giving place every moment to
those who had more importance in their looks. Ashamed to stand ignorant,
and afraid to ask questions, at last I saw a lady sweeping by me, whom,
by the quickness of her eyes, the agility of her steps, and a mixture of
levity and impatience, I knew to be my long-loved protectress, Curiosity.
"Great goddess," said I, "may thy votary be permitted to implore thy
favour; if thou hast been my directress from the first dawn of reason,
if I have followed thee through the maze of life with invariable
fidelity, if I have turned to every new call, and quitted at thy nod
one pursuit for another, if I have never stopped at the invitations of
fortune, nor forgot thy authority in the bowers of pleasure, inform me
now whither chance has conducted me. "

"Thou art now," replied the smiling power, "in the presence of Justice,
and of Truth, whom the father of gods and men has sent down to register
the demands and pretentions of mankind, that the world may at last be
reduced to order, and that none may complain hereafter of being doomed
to tasks for which they are unqualified, of possessing faculties for which
they cannot find employment, or virtues that languish unobserved for want
of opportunities to exert them, of being encumbered with superfluities
which they would willingly resign, or of wasting away in desires which
ought to be satisfied. Justice is now to examine every man's wishes, and
Truth is to record them; let us approach, and observe the progress of
this great transaction. "

She then moved forward, and Truth, who knew her among the most faithful of
her followers, beckoned her to advance, till we were placed near the seat
of Justice. The first who required the assistance of the office, came
forward with a slow pace, and tumour of dignity, and shaking a weighty
purse in his hand, demanded to be registered by Truth, as the Mæcenas of
the present age, the chief encourager of literary merit, to whom men of
learning and wit might apply in any exigence or distress with certainty
of succour. Justice very mildly inquired, whether he had calculated the
expense of such a declaration? whether he had been informed what number of
petitioners would swarm about him? whether he could distinguish idleness
and negligence from calamity, ostentation from knowledge, or vivacity
from wit? To these questions he seemed not well provided with a reply,
but repeated his desire to be recorded as a patron. Justice then offered
to register his proposal on these conditions, that he should never suffer
himself to be flattered; that he should never delay an audience when he
had nothing to do; and that he should never encourage followers without
intending to reward them. These terms were too hard to be accepted;
for what, said he, is the end of patronage, but the pleasure of reading
dedications, holding multitudes in suspense, and enjoying their hopes,
their fears, and their anxiety, flattering them to assiduity, and, at
last, dismissing them for impatience? Justice heard his confession, and
ordered his name to be posted upon the gate among cheats and robbers, and
publick nuisances, which all were by that notice warned to avoid.

Another required to be made known as the discoverer of a new art of
education, by which languages and sciences might be taught to all
capacities, and all inclinations, without fear of punishment, pain
or confinement, loss of any part of the gay mein of ignorance, or any
obstruction of the necessary progress in dress, dancing, or cards.

Justice and Truth did not trouble this great adept with many inquiries;
but finding his address awkward and his speech barbarous, ordered him to
be registered as a tall fellow who wanted employment, and might serve in
any post where the knowledge of reading and writing was not required.

A man of very grave and philosophick aspect, required notice to be given
of his intention to set out, a certain day, on a submarine voyage, and
of his willingness to take in passengers for no more than double the
price at which they might sail above water. His desire was granted, and
he retired to a convenient stand, in expectation of filling his ship, and
growing rich in a short time by the secrecy, safety, and expedition of
the passage.

Another desired to advertise the curious, that he had, for the advancement
of true knowledge, contrived an optical instrument, by which those who
laid out their industry on memorials of the changes of the wind, might
observe the direction of the weather-cocks on the hitherside of the lunar
world.

Another wished to be known as the author of an invention, by which cities
or kingdoms might be made warm in winter by a single fire, a kettle, and
pipe. Another had a vehicle by which a man might bid defiance to floods,
and continue floating in an inundation, without any inconvenience, till
the water should subside. Justice considered these projects as of no
importance but to their authors, and therefore scarcely condescended to
examine them: but Truth refused to admit them into the register.

Twenty different pretenders came in one hour to give notice of an
universal medicine, by which all diseases might be cured or prevented,
and life protracted beyond the age of Nestor. But Justice informed them,
that one universal medicine was sufficient, and she would delay the
notification till she saw who could longest preserve his own life.

A thousand other claims and offers were exhibited and examined. I
remarked, among this mighty multitude, that, of intellectual advantages,
many had great exuberance, and few confessed any want; of every art there
were a hundred professors for a single pupil; but of other attainments,
such as riches, honours, and preferments, I found none that had too much,
but thousands and ten thousands that thought themselves entitled to a
larger dividend.

It often happened, that old misers, and women married at the close of
life, advertised their want of children; nor was it uncommon for those
who had a numerous offspring, to give notice of a son or daughter to
be spared; but, though appearances promised well on both sides, the
bargain seldom succeeded; for they soon lost their inclination to adopted
children, and proclaimed their intentions to promote some scheme of
publick charity: a thousand proposals were immediately made, among which
they hesitated till death precluded the decision.

As I stood looking on this scene of confusion, Truth condescended to ask
me, what was my business at her office? I was struck with the unexpected
question, and awaked by my efforts to answer it.


END OF VOL. II.


TALBOYS AND WHEELER.



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The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Works of Samuel Johnson, LL. D, In Nine
Volumes, by Samuel Johnson

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www. gutenberg. net


Title: The Works of Samuel Johnson, LL. D, In Nine Volumes
Volume the Third: The Rambler, Vol. II

Author: Samuel Johnson

Release Date: March 2, 2004 [EBook #11397]

Language: English


*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WORKS OF JOHNSON, VOL. 3 ***




Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Carol David and PG Distributed Proofreaders




JOHNSON'S WORKS.


THE RAMBLER.

VOL. II.




THE

WORKS

OF

SAMUEL JOHNSON, LL. D,

IN NINE VOLUMES.



VOLUME THE THIRD.

[Illustration]


MDCCCXXV.


CONTENTS

OF

THE SECOND VOLUME.


NUMB.

106. The vanity of an author's expectations. --Reasons why good authors
are sometimes neglected
107. Properantia's hopes of a year of confusion. The misery of
prostitutes
108. Life sufficient to all purposes if well employed
109. The education of a fop
110. Repentance stated and explained. Retirement and abstinence useful
to repentance
111. Youth made unfortunate by its haste and eagerness
112. Too much nicety not to be indulged. The character of Eriphile
113. The history of Hymenæus's courtship
114. The necessity of proportioning punishments to crimes
115. The sequel of Hymenæus's courtship
116. The young trader's attempt at politeness
117. The advantages of living in a garret
118. The narrowness of fame
119. Tranquilla's account of her lovers, opposed to Hymenæus
120. The history of Almamoulin the son of Nouradin
121. The dangers of imitation. The impropriety of imitating Spenser
122. A criticism on the English historians
123. The young trader turned gentleman
124. The lady's misery in a summer retirement
125. The difficulty of defining comedy. Tragick and comick sentiments
confounded
126. The universality of cowardice. The impropriety of extorting praise.
The impertinence of an astronomer
127. Diligence too soon relaxed. Necessity of perseverance
128. Anxiety universal. The unhappiness of a wit and a fine lady
129. The folly of cowardice and inactivity
130. The history of a beauty
131. Desire of gain the general passion
132. The difficulty of educating a young nobleman
133. The miseries of a beauty defaced
134. Idleness an anxious and miserable state
135. The folly of annual retreats into the country
136. The meanness and mischief of indiscriminate dedication
137. The necessity of literary courage
138. Original characters to be found in the country. The character of
Mrs. Busy
139. A critical examination of Samson Agonistes
140. The criticism continued
141. The danger of attempting wit in conversation. The character of
Papilius
142. An account of squire Bluster
143. The criterions of plagiarism
144. The difficulty of raising reputation. The various species of
detractors
145. Petty writers not to be despised
146. An account of an author travelling in quest of his own character.
The uncertainty of fame
147. The courtier's esteem of assurance
148. The cruelty of parental tyranny
149. Benefits not always entitled to gratitude
150. Adversity useful to the acquisition of knowledge
151. The climactericks of the mind
152. Criticism on epistolary writings
153. The treatment incurred by loss of fortune
154. The inefficacy of genius without learning
155. The usefulness of advice. The danger of habits. The necessity of
reviewing life
156. The laws of writing not always indisputable. Reflections on
tragi-comedy
157. The scholar's complaint of his own bashfulness
158. Rules of writing drawn from examples. Those examples often mistaken
159. The nature and remedies of bashfulness
160. Rules for the choice of associates
161. The revolutions of a garret
162. Old men in danger of falling into pupilage. The conduct of
Thrasybulus
163.