No More Learning

The letter of Paris is a masterful application
of the precepts of the art of love. He begins
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? OVID AND HIS INFLUENCE
by declaring his passion. That is the whole
story; he loves her. But more, his love is di-
vinely enjoined. Appointed arbiter in the con-
test of the three goddesses, he favored Venus,
and Helen is the prize. He has come over the
seas for her. And when he saw her, -- it seemed
the vision of Venus again. But is he worthy?
His lineage springs from Jove and his kingdom
is far wealthier than poor little Sparta. Poor
little Sparta? That was not well said. The land
that gave Helen birth is paradise. Yet, really,
such beauty needs transplanting to an even
fairer garden. And the women do dress well in
Troy; receptions are crowded with models of
the latest style; the very latest seems not yet
to have reached Sparta. Poor old Menelaus, he
ill appreciates his treasure. Oh the torture of
that banquet, to see him at her side! Paris
could but sigh, and gather from the lips of little
Hermione the kisses that her mother had left
there, and sound her handmaids, Clymene and
Aethra. Ah, if she would but yield to the Fates
and abandon the impossible contest between
virtue and beauty, -- such beauty as hers!
Simple little Helen, -- he will not call her rus-
tic -- not to see that the gods are on their side.
The laws of heredity can hardly create Puri-
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? THE WORLD OF POETRY
tanism in the offspring of Leda and Jove. It
is all arranged by her husband's stupid com-
plaisance, his lack of any feeling for her. How
lonely her couch must be! Her lover's is lone-
liness itself. He can offer her eternal fidelity
and a right royal progress amidst the crowds
of Troy. No harm in that, no prospect of
calamity or war among the nations. Jason
stole Medea from Colchis, and no Colchian war
ensued. But suppose a war, is Paris not a
champion? Is Hector not his brother? And
should her beauty launch a thousand ships in
a world-conflict, think what her fame would
be throughout all time. Oh why not obey the
gods and open her arms to the delights await-
ing her!
Who would resist such rhetoric? Not Helen.
A little while she strove and much repented,
And whispering, "I will ne'er consent," consented.
Helen's answer is as delicately contrived as
Paris's appeal; the opening lines tell the story:
"Could I unread, oh Paris, what 1 read,
Chaste should I be, as chaste I once was bred.
But as my eyes are stained by reading through,
'Twere idle vengeance not to answer you. "
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? OVID AND HIS INFLUENCE
This is surrender; the rest is apology. It is a
long apology, with twists and turns, backings
and fillings, defiance and remorse, and absolute
capitulation. She begins in a blaze of indigna-
tion. The taunt of rusticity is the first to be
answered. She admits that her looks do not
suggest the Puritan. Her mood then softens to
one of astonishment, and that to one of in-
credulity. How did he dare? Few wives are
chaste, perhaps, but might she not be an excep-
tion? Heredity counts for little; she labors the
point triumphantly, -- Ovid's women are often
victorious in skirmishes before the great defeat.
Still, she owns that it is a minor argument.
Could she consent, it would be only for love.
She had noticed his doings at table; she dwells
on them with a certain fondness, particularly
the greedy look in the rascal's eyes. He would
have made a fine lover, for some other woman,
or for Helen, -- at some other time. Why was
he not among her early suitors? It is wrong,
it is cruel to urge her now. The heart may
yield, but duty opposes. And that contest of
the goddesses, -- a pretty myth indeed. To
think that she, Helen of Troy, should be named
by Venus as the prize. Preposterous! And yet
it is a pretty compliment for Paris to pay.
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? THE WORLD OF POETRY
After all, who knows? It were dangerous to
offend the gods. Perhaps, perhaps, she might
love, if she only knew the way. If someone
had only instructed her in Ars Amandi! If it
were done, then it were well if it were done
secretly. Of course Menelaus is away; really
it was rather ludicrous in him to bid her take
good care of Paris; all that she could say, to
keep from smiling, was "I will. " Oh no, it
cannot be. How shameful to betray such con-
fidence. And her fears, -- possibly the cure for
rusticity would be compulsion. But what will
they think of her in that strange land? Will
she not be an outcast and a thing of scorn? It
is a fascinating prospect, though; what could
the Trojan styles be like? No, it is all false.
Jason made such promises to Medea. There is
something to apprehend from the wrathful god-
desses whom Paris rejected. He is wrong about
the chances of war; there have been plenty of
battles over love. Paris, further, is hardly a
champion. He is born for love, not war. Let
Hector do the fighting, and he, -- oh, he can
have her. Enough of words, Clymene and
Aethra will arrange the rest!
Incomparable audacity, the radiant attend-
ants of Helen of the Iliad degraded to the
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? OVID AND HIS INFLUENCE
circle of Corinna's maids! Bernard Shaw could
not shock us more. It were unforgivable, were
it not a logical conclusion from the Homeric
Helen's acts. Something like this happened in
Sparta. Ovid is thinking out ancient history,
the part that the historians do not record.
Following Euripides, once more, he has trans-
formed heroic lovers, playthings of the gods,
into human beings, and solved a human prob-
lem in a perfect work of art. No less perfect
in art and reality are the letters of Acontius to
Cydippe and the little girl's reply. If apology
or " serious relief" is demanded after Helen's
surrender, it is here. The actors in this little
drama are boy and girl; their love is pure and
tender. Simplicity is not always rustic. Acon-
tius has an untaught art of love unerringly
effective. Cydippe does not submit without a
course of moods, reproach and tantalizing rid-
icule among them, as wealthy, in their way, as
those of Helen. These four poems, and the
moonlit lines describing Leander's swim, would
put Ovid in the front rank of poets, had he
written nothing more.
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? THE WORLD OF POETRY
111. THE ART OF LOVE
Avyseth yow and putte me out of blame;
And eek men shal nat make ernest of game. chaucer
Ah Rustick, ruder than Gothick! congreve .
Scis vetus hoc iuveni lusum mini carmen et istos
Ut non laudandos sic tamen esse iocos. ovn>
After the experiences recorded in the Amores,
it is small wonder that our poet felt himself
an expert in the ways of love. He now writes,
therefore, what is in form a didactic poem,
one that the historian of literature must put
on the same shelf with Virgil's Georgics and
the De Rerum Natura of Lucretius. As the
subject of the new poem is still fit matter for
elegy, Ovid makes no change in his metre.
Had he commenced in the heroic verse that
Virgil and Lucretius had employed, Cupid
would have smiled again, as the beginning of
the Amores pictures him, and stolen away a
foot from every line.
The Art of Love was preceded by a little
work which must have created some excitement
among Roman beauties, on the Art of Cos-
metic (De Medicamine Faciei). Only a frag-
ment of this poem is preserved. It opens with
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? OVID AND HIS INFLUENCE
a panegyric on culture, of which agriculture
was the only sort appreciated in primitive days.
When Tatius ruled, the buxom Sabine dame,
For feats of spinning known to rustic fame,
With country dainties piled the groaning shelf
And dressed her corn-land better than herself.
But these Mid-Victorian virtues are outgrown.
The rising generation in Rome, as possibly in
any age, has changed all that.
For tender mothers bear us tender girls
Who dress in gold and crimp their fragrant curls,
Or cut them off, or wave or bang or part,
And gain complexions with a stroke of art.
O matre molli filia mollior! Ovid has found
his clientele and shown himself a connoisseur.
Perhaps he was in collusion with the beauty-
shops of his time. His lines have the ring of
metrical advertisement, like Andrew Lang's
poem on "Matrimony. " At all events, Ovid's
scholarship is profound; he doubtless flowed
on for many more verses than those that chance
has transmitted to us.
The Art of Love is no less scholarly. The
title Ars Amatoria suggests not merely a course
in intrigue, but a text-book of the subject, a
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? THE WORLD OF POETRY
companion-volume to an ars grammatica or
an ars rhetorica. The poem opens with a
panegyric on Art, which is needed in all the
walks of life. The skipper needs it on the
deep, the driver needs it in his speeding car,
the lover needs it above all. "Ce sont des
regies," explains Moliere's heroine to her rus-
tic uncle, "dont en bonne galanterie on ne
saurait dispenser. " It is no light task for the
poet to instruct Cupid; still, he is a boy after
all. So, then, for the Invocation, -- except that
none is necessary. The poet has been blessed
with no special inspiration from the Muses;
his subject is true! It is also highly moral;
for he sings only of love sanctioned by the law.
So, matrons, long of skirt and high of brow,
avaunt! There is nothing that concerns you
here. This is the demi-monde with its battles
of love where all is fair. The reader breathes
a sigh of relief; nothing to shock us here, as
in the Amores!
The poet proceeds to a formal division of his
subject-matter: A. How to Find Her; B. How
to Win Her; C. How to Keep Her. Nothing
could be more comprehensive. The first article
can best be followed by an expert in topog-
raphy; for to show just where the willing
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? OVID AND HIS INFLUENCE
maiden may be met, Ovid takes us all over
Rome, along colonnades, to the temples, es-
pecially of the Oriental and liberal divinities,
to the ancient forum and the fora lately added,
to the theatre, -- ah, there's fine hunting-
ground!
As ants to grain and bees to flowers hie,
To scenic pictures do our damsels fly.
A double reason brings them:
To see they come, and come they to be seen.
All praise to Romulus, founder of Rome and
first patron of the stage! The poet diverts us
into the tale of the stolen Sabines, so brilliantly
and rapidly told, that, as in a simile of Homer's,
we are transported from the main scene of
action into a different world which is its own
excuse for existence.
You, Romulus, knew how your men to pay.
Grant me such wage and I'll enlist today,
ends the poet. He would have relished the
by-scene of a worthy Sabine house-holder, as
Xavier de Maistre pictures him, who after the
event exclaims in despair: "Dieux immortels!
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? THE WORLD OF POETRY
Pourquoi n'ai j' point amene ma femme a la
fete! "9
So much for Where to Find Her. Now, How
to Win Her. Precepts can guide us. As Lu-
cretius based his philosophy of the universe
on axioms, beginning with the law of nihil ex
nihilo, so Ovid starts blithely with a kind of
omnia ex omnibus. For, first and foremost, no
woman is invulnerable; "omnes posse capi. "
Woman seems more modest because man is a
less skilful dissembler.
Were it the mode our fair ones not to woo,
You'd find your fair one would importune you.
Other precepts follow thick and fast. Study
her entourage, her social ego, and make your-
self a favorite with her personnel. Study the
times and seasons, as Hesiod's farmer minded
days as well as works. Intertwined with this
theme is one on the art of giving, that is, of
giving as little as possible. Her birthday is an
unlucky time for a visit; choose a day of Na-
tional Mourning, when no games are going on.
Ah me, that's something hard to find. Some
girls contrive to have a year of birthdays. Pave
the way with a letter in the proper style. A
liberal education is of some use after all; it
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? OVID AND HIS INFLUENCE
teaches the art of persuasion. But do not treat
your mistress to an oration. Avoid big words;
be vivid, dramatic, convincing. If she makes
no answer, try again. All things come in time.
Penelope's own self in time you'll win!
Troy long resisted, but at last gave in.
Penelope seems an inappropriate example. Was
she not a matron? The poet seems to have for-
gotten the subject of this work. He hastens to
give more precepts. Learn how to dance at-
tendance on her; learn how to dress. Cultivate
simplicity and a certain sweet disorder which
maidens like. But do not be too Bohemian;
trim your nails and forget not to shave. Do
not wear sloppy sandals and keep your toga
free from spots.
The temperance question! Learn to drink
with art. This is a rich subject, in which vari-
ous precepts are involved, as in the interweav-
ing of the themes of a symphony. It needs an
invocation to Bacchus, and the rehearsal of his
wooing of Ariadne, a rollicking tale, with rol-
licking verse to describe the manly attempts
of the drunken Silenus to keep pace with the
Maenads, -- at last he falls off his donkey.
The god drives up in his tiger-cart to comfort
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? THE WORLD OF POETRY
the heroine, and courteously descends, lest the
tigers frighten her, -- courtesy is a golden
maxim for Ovid's gallant. The moral is: use
the god's gift of wine to win your Ariadne, but
do not let it go to your head. Write messages
on the table in wine for her to see, and look
unspeakable things at her. Display the utmost
courtesy to the husband, -- is it husband? Vir
is the word; perhaps it merely means lover;
the situation is getting a bit confused. At any
rate, give him the first chance at the bowl.
Offer him your wreath of flowers. In the con-
cert of talk, play second fiddle to him. Study
your accomplishments. Sing if you can; if your
arms are graceful, dance eurythmically. Pre-
tended inebriation is a help; you can do things
then for which you seem not responsible. That
is the time to seek her side and lavish compli-
ments however absurd.
She'll swallow all. No girl, however plain,
Dislikes her looks or thinks her beaux insane.
Jean de Meun applied this universal truth to
his town times with a sly satire worthy of his
master. 10
Car il n'est fame, tant soit bone,
Vielle ou jone, mondaine ou none,
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? OVID AND HIS INFLUENCE
Ne si religieuse dame,
Tant soit chaste de cors et d'ame,
Se Ven va sa biauti loant,
Qui ne se ddlite en oant.
The precepts on wine and its use in the first
approach to your mistress's favor lead easily
to the next, which prescribes the technique of
promises and false oaths. Perjury is generally
detestable. Religion and its obligations are a
vital need. But when it comes to women, fallite
fallentes; deceive your deceivers; do unto them
\ as they do unto you. Some righteous indigna-
tion is displayed in the treatment of this theme.
Along with oaths and promises, tears will be
found useful, and there are ways of producing
them at will. Kisses are effective; apply them
boldly. Maidens like vigorous action. Do not
wait for them to begin. The poet caps his
argument with a supreme example:
Jove wooed the heroines on bended knee.
No maid corrupted him with amorous plea.
Iuppiter locutus est; causa finita est. The main
argument of the first book is done, but the poet
adds an epilogue. He was about to conclude,
when he bethought him of the diversity of
woman's nature. Doubtless the reader will find
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? THE WORLD OF POETRY
that none of the instructions will fit his case.
Some fish are caught with a hook and some
with a drag-net. The lover should always be on
the move, always adaptive, always ready for
the sudden turn.
Act like the nimble Proteus. Turn your coat,
Changing to water, tree, boar, lion or to goat!
The life of the Ovidian lover is a perpetual,
and sometimes humiliating, metamorphosis.
The reader will assume that the argument
of the second book, "How to Keep Her," is
carried out with similar thoroughness. In this
difficult undertaking, the gallant has many
comic parts to play. He must postpone all his
business at his lady's call. If she is in the
country he must speed thither in his fastest
car. If no chariot is his, let him foot it briskly.
No running slave in comedy can be brisker, or
more ludicrous than he. All Rome will see him
carrying her parasol -- a menial task in those
days. He will often have to thread his way on
a pitch-dark night through sudden down-pours,
or sleep on the ice-cold sill. When the front
portal is barred, he will climb up by a window
or steal in at the sky-light.
One consolation there is; this sturdy disci-
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? OVID AND HIS INFLUENCE
pline is not for the wealthy lover; he needs it
not. Ovid preaches to the poor. The rich bar-
barian needs no passport; the poet's passport
rarely gets him by the door. There is, to be
sure, a small, very small, coterie of blue-
stockings:
Some girls have culture, but they're mighty few.
Some want to get it, -- or they think they do.
Here is where the poet-lover has a chance, a
slim one, with his
Rimes jolietes,
Motez, fabliaus, ou changonetes. 11
In most houses, however, Homer himself, at-
tended by all nine Muses, will be shown the
door.
For all its naughtiness, the poem is not with-
out its ethical lessons. The poet constructs a
kind of Mirror of the Chivalrous Lover, which
is the counterpart, and in many respects, the
model, of the Mediaeval Knightly Code, as we
see it in the Romance of the Rose. Patience
and courtesy are the cardinal virtues, anger
and pride the deadly sins. The lover should
cultivate a pleasant temper. He must study his
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? THE WORLD OF POETRY
lady's desires and fit his mood to hers. Laugh
with her, cry with her, yield to her opinions.
Let her beat at games; escort her to receptions,
whither you may not care to go. Let her man-
age, or think she does. Learn to pay her
compliments with a straight face. Admire her
dresses, each for its own virtue; note the
changes in her art of arranging her hair.
She parts her hair; then praise the comely line.
She crimps it; call those twisted locks divine.
Serve as her doctor when she is ill. Do every-
thing for her, -- except administering the med-
icine; let your rival do that. Give her defects
the names of proximate virtues; say " slender"
for " skinny," " trim" for " puny," " buxom"
for " stout. " It is an easy art, which Plato and
Horace had prescribed before Ovid and the
heroines of Moliere and Congreve practised
after him. Prior sums it up in a neat couplet,
since become a proverb:
Be to her virtues very kind,
Be to her faults a little blind. 12
Finally, -- for Ovid's precepts always are sub-
ject to a sudden turn, -- it may be well to
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? OVID AND HIS INFLUENCE
arouse your darling's jealousy and her temper
now and then. Blessings on the amantium irae,
if they all the more endear:
Oh four times blest and blest times infinite
Is he who wounds his love and stirs her spite.
When gossip simmers and she, loath to hear,
Losing all voice and color, faints in fear,
May I be he whose locks she madly tears I
May I be he whose cheek her nail-prints bears!
At whom she looks with tearful little eyes,
Sans whom she cannot live, though hard she tries.
The last book of the poem is the most bril-
liant, if anything can be more brilliant than the
first two; in other words, the poet's climax is
sustained. With a complete volte-face, Ovid
now deserts his sex and instructs the maiden
how to win a lover and how to keep him. He
begins with a "Legend of Good Women," ex-
actly on Chaucer's plan and that of Jean de
Meun before him. It is accompanied by the
same ruthless exhibition of man's shiftiness
that we saw in the Heroides. "Deceive your
deceivers! " That maxim is passed on, with a
courteous bow, to the fair. Whether Ovid's
precepts are sound is not for a mere man to
judge. On the attractiveness of mourning ap-
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? THE WORLD OF POETRY
parel, on the danger of getting mad at cards,
on the use of the mirror as a cure for temper,
on the practice of various modes of hand-writ-
ing for various lovers, on the advisability of
completing one's toilet before leaving the house,
lest, as the poet puts it, "you show yourself
a work of art in the making," -- on these and
many other matters some docta puella should
tell us whether Ovid has hit the mark.
The maidens to whom the poet gives counsel
are, as ever, those of the lower world. He had
intended a brief digression on the way for
wives to elude their shrewd husbands and
wakeful porters. No, no! Rather he had meant
to pass that topic by. But he will add a sug-
gestion for the reform of the home. If the wife
would arouse her husband's love, let her make
love less easy for him.