Are there any
Schooles
for _Ladies_?
Ben Jonson - The Devil's Association
receiue] one line 1692, 1716, W
[390] 37 SN. om. G
[391] 39 t'] to 1692, f.
[392] 62 y'all 1716, W
[393] 64 he's W, G
[394] 71, 76 SN. om. G
[395] 75 'salts 1692 'saults 1716
[396] 81 is, cast] is cast 1716, W
[397] 88 I've W
[398] 98 head's] head 1641
[399] 100 a om. 1641
[400] 106 of the] the 1641
[401] 108, 112 o'] of W
[402] 108 Beuer] beaver W, G
[403] 110 smelt o'ret. G
ACT. II. SCENE. VII.
FITZ-DOTTRELL. WITTIPOL. PVG.
_Her hu? band appeares at her back. _
Is shee ? o, Sir? and, I will keepe her ? o.
If I know how, or can: that wit of man
Will doe't, I'll goe no farther. At this windo'
She ? hall no more be _buz'd_ at. Take your leaue on't.
If you be ? weet meates, wedlock, or ? weet fle? h, 5
All's one: I doe not loue this _hum_ about you.
A flye-blowne wife is not ? o proper, In: [125]
For you, S^r, looke to heare from mee.
_Hee ? peakes out of his wiues window. _
WIT. So, I doe, Sir.
FIT. No, but in other termes. There's no man offers
This to my wife, but paies for't.
WIT. That haue I, Sir.
FIT. Nay, then, I tell you, you are.
WIT. What am I, Sir? 11
FIT. Why, that I'll thinke on, when I ha' cut your throat.
WIT. Goe, you are an _A? ? e_.
FIT. I am re? olu'd on't, Sir.
WIT. I thinke you are.
FIT. To call you to a reckoning.
WIT. Away, you brokers blocke, you property. 15
FIT. S'light, if you ? trike me, I'll ? trike your Mi? tre? ? e.
_Hee ? trikes his wife. _
WIT. O! I could ? hoote mine eyes at him, for that, now;
Or leaue my teeth in'him, were they cuckolds bane,
Inough to kill him. What prodigious,
Blinde, and mo? t wicked change of fortune's this? 20
I ha' no ayre of patience: an my vaines
Swell, and my ? inewes ? tart at iniquity of it.
I ? hall breake, breake.
_The_ Diuell _? peakes below_.
PVG. This for the malice of it,
And my reuenge may pa? ? e! But, now, my con? cience
Tells mee, I haue profited the cau? e of Hell 25
But little, in the breaking-off their loues.
Which, if some other act of mine repaire not,
I ? hall heare ill of in my accompt.
Fitz-dottrel _enters with his wife as come downe_.
FIT. O, Bird!
Could you do this? 'gain? t me? and at this time, now?
When I was ? o imploy'd, wholly for you, 30
Drown'd i' my care (more, then the land, I ? weare,
I'haue hope to win) to make you peere-le? ? e? ? tudying,
For footemen for you, fine pac'd hui? hers, pages,
To ? erue you o' the knee; with what Knights wife,
To beare your traine, and ? it with your foure women 35
In councell, and receiue intelligences,
From forraigne parts, to dre? ? e you at all pieces!
Y'haue (a'mo? t) turn'd my good affection, to you;
Sowr'd my ? weet thoughts; all my pure purpo? es:
I could now finde (i' my very heart) to make 40
Another, _Lady Dutche? ? e_; and depo? e you.
Well, goe your waies in. _Diuell_, you haue redeem'd all.
I doe forgiue you. And I'll doe you good.
[404] SD. om. SN. ] FITZ-DOTTRELL _appears at his Wife's back_. G
[405] 8 SN. om. G || you,] you, you, W, G
[406] 11 are. ] are--W, G
[407] 13 Sir. ] Sir--Ed.
[408] 16 I will W, G
[409] 16 SN. ] [_Strikes Mrs. Fitz. and leads her out. _ G
[410] 17 my 1641
[411] 22 th'iniquity G
[412] 23 SN. om [_Exit. _ SCENE III. _Another Room in_ Fitzdottrel's
_House. Enter_ PUG. G
[413] 28 in om. 1641 || SN. ] _Enter_ FITZDOTTREL _and his wife_. G
[414] 30 employ'd 1716, f.
[415] 31, 32 () ret. G
[416] 38 You've 1716, f. || almost W, G
[417] 42 [_Exit Mrs. Fitz. _] G
[418] 43 [_Exit Pug. _ G
ACT. II. SCENE. VIIJ.
MERE-CRAFT. FITZ-DOTTREL. INGINE.
TRAINES.
Why ha you the? e excur? ions? where ha' you beene, Sir? [126]
FIT. Where I ha' beene vex'd a little, with a toy!
MER. O Sir! no toyes mu? t trouble your graue head,
Now it is growing to be great. You mu? t
Be aboue all tho? e things.
FIT. Nay, nay, ? o I will. 5
MER. Now you are to'ard the Lord, you mu? t put off
The man, Sir.
ING. He ? aies true.
MER. You mu? t do nothing
As you ha' done it heretofore; not know,
Or ? alute any man.
ING. That was your bed-fellow,
The other moneth.
MER. The other moneth? the weeke. 10
Thou do? t not know the priueledges, _Ingine_,
Follow that Title; nor how ? wift: To day,
When he has put on his Lords face once, then--
FIT. Sir, for the? e things I ? hall doe well enough,
There is no feare of me. But then, my wife is 15
Such an vntoward thing! ? hee'll neuer learne
How to comport with it. I am out of all
Conceipt, on her behalfe.
MER. Be? t haue her taught, Sir.
FIT. Where?
Are there any Schooles for _Ladies_? Is there
An _Academy_ for women? I doe know, 20
For men, there was: I learn'd in it, my ? elfe,
To make my legges, and doe my po? tures.
ING. Sir.
Doe you remember the conceipt you had--
O' the Spani? h gowne, at home?
Ingine _whi? pers_ Merecraft, Merecraft _turnes to_ Fitz-dottrel.
MER. Ha! I doe thanke thee,
With all my heart, deare _Ingine_. Sir, there is 25
A certaine _Lady_, here about the Towne,
An _Engli? h_ widdow, who hath lately trauell'd,
But ? hee's call'd the _Spaniard_; cau? e ? he came
Late? t from thence: and keepes the _Spani? h_ habit.
Such a rare woman! all our women heere, 30
That are of ? pirit, and fa? hion flocke, vnto her,
As to their Pre? ident; their _Law_; their _Canon_;
More then they euer did, to _Oracle-Foreman_.
Such rare receipts ? hee has, Sir, for the face;
Such _oyles_; such _tinctures_; such _pomatumn's_; 35
Such _perfumes_; _med'cines_; _quinte? ? ences_, _&c. _
And ? uch a Mi? tre? ? e of behauiour; [127]
She knowes, from the _Dukes_ daughter, to the Doxey,
What is their due iu? t: and no more!
FIT. O Sir!
You plea? e me i' this, more then mine owne greatne? ? e, 40
Where is ? hee? Let vs haue her.
MER. By your patience,
We mu? t v? e meanes; ca? t how to be acquainted--
FIT. Good, S^r, about it.
MER. We mu? t think how, fir? t.
FIT. O!
I doe not loue to tarry for a thing,
When I haue a mind to't. You doe not know me. 45
If you doe offer it.
MER. Your wife mu? t ? end
Some pretty token to her, with a complement,
And pray to be receiu'd in her good graces,
All the great _Ladies_ do't.
FIT. She ? hall, ? he ? hall,
What were it be? t to be?
MER. Some little toy, 50
I would not haue it any great matter, Sir:
A _Diamant_ ring, of _forty_ or _fifty_ pound,
Would doe it hand? omely: and be a gift
Fit for your wife to ? end, and her to take.
FIT. I'll goe, and tell my wife on't, ? treight. 55
Fitz-dottrel _goes out_.
MER. Why this
Is well! The clothes we'haue now: But, where's this _Lady_?
If we could get a witty boy, now, _Ingine_;
That were an excellent cracke: I could in? truct him,
To the true height. For any thing takes this _dottrel_.
ING. Why, Sir your be? t will be one o' the players! 60
MER. No, there's no tru? ting them. They'll talke on't,
And tell their _Poets_.
ING. What if they doe? The ie? t
will brooke the Stage. But, there be ? ome of 'hem
Are very hone? t Lads. There's _Dicke Robin? on_
A very pretty fellow, and comes often 65
To a Gentlemans chamber, a friends of mine. We had
The merrie? t ? upper of it there, one night,
The Gentlemans Land-lady invited him
To'a Go? ? ips fea? t. Now, he Sir brought _Dick Robin? on_,
Dre? t like a Lawyers wife, among? t 'hem all; 70
(I lent him cloathes) but, to ? ee him behaue it;
And lay the law; and carue; and drinke vnto 'hem;
And then talke baudy: and ? end frolicks! o!
It would haue bur? t your buttons, or not left you
A ? eame.
MER. They ? ay hee's an ingenious youth! 75
ING. O Sir! and dre? ? es him? elfe, the be? t! beyond
Forty o' your very _Ladies_! did you ne'r ? ee him?
MER. No, I do ? eldome ? ee tho? e toyes. But thinke you,
That we may haue him?
ING. Sir, the young Gentleman
I tell you of, can command him. Shall I attempt it? 80
MER. Yes, doe it.
_Enters againe. _
FIT. S'light, I cannot get my wife
To part with a ring, on any termes: and yet,
The ? ollen _Monkey_ has two.
MER. It were 'gainst rea? on
That you ? hould vrge it; Sir, ? end to a Gold-? mith, [128]
Let not her lo? e by't.
FIT. How do's ? he lo? e by't? 85
Is't not for her?
MER. Make it your owne bounty,
It will ha' the better ? ucce? ? e; what is a matter
Of _fifty_ pound to you, S^r.
FIT. I'haue but a hundred
_Pieces_, to ? hew here; that I would not breake--
MER. You ? hall ha' credit, Sir. I'll ? end a ticket 90
Vnto my Gold-? mith. Heer, my man comes too,
To carry it fitly. How now, _Traines_? What birds?
Traines _enters_.
TRA. Your Cou? in _Euer-ill_ met me, and has beat mee,
Becau? e I would not tell him where you were:
I thinke he has dogd me to the hou? e too.
FIT. Well-- 95
You ? hall goe out at the back-doore, then, _Traines_.
You mu? t get _Guilt-head_ hither, by ? ome meanes:
TRA. 'Tis impo? ? ible!
FIT. Tell him, we haue _veni? on_,
I'll g' him a piece, and ? end his wife a _Phe? ant_.
TRA. A Forre? t moues not, till that _forty_ pound, 100
Yo' had of him, la? t, be pai'd. He keepes more ? tirre,
For that ? ame petty ? umme, then for your bond
Of _? ixe_; and _Statute_ of _eight_ hundred!
FIT.
[390] 37 SN. om. G
[391] 39 t'] to 1692, f.
[392] 62 y'all 1716, W
[393] 64 he's W, G
[394] 71, 76 SN. om. G
[395] 75 'salts 1692 'saults 1716
[396] 81 is, cast] is cast 1716, W
[397] 88 I've W
[398] 98 head's] head 1641
[399] 100 a om. 1641
[400] 106 of the] the 1641
[401] 108, 112 o'] of W
[402] 108 Beuer] beaver W, G
[403] 110 smelt o'ret. G
ACT. II. SCENE. VII.
FITZ-DOTTRELL. WITTIPOL. PVG.
_Her hu? band appeares at her back. _
Is shee ? o, Sir? and, I will keepe her ? o.
If I know how, or can: that wit of man
Will doe't, I'll goe no farther. At this windo'
She ? hall no more be _buz'd_ at. Take your leaue on't.
If you be ? weet meates, wedlock, or ? weet fle? h, 5
All's one: I doe not loue this _hum_ about you.
A flye-blowne wife is not ? o proper, In: [125]
For you, S^r, looke to heare from mee.
_Hee ? peakes out of his wiues window. _
WIT. So, I doe, Sir.
FIT. No, but in other termes. There's no man offers
This to my wife, but paies for't.
WIT. That haue I, Sir.
FIT. Nay, then, I tell you, you are.
WIT. What am I, Sir? 11
FIT. Why, that I'll thinke on, when I ha' cut your throat.
WIT. Goe, you are an _A? ? e_.
FIT. I am re? olu'd on't, Sir.
WIT. I thinke you are.
FIT. To call you to a reckoning.
WIT. Away, you brokers blocke, you property. 15
FIT. S'light, if you ? trike me, I'll ? trike your Mi? tre? ? e.
_Hee ? trikes his wife. _
WIT. O! I could ? hoote mine eyes at him, for that, now;
Or leaue my teeth in'him, were they cuckolds bane,
Inough to kill him. What prodigious,
Blinde, and mo? t wicked change of fortune's this? 20
I ha' no ayre of patience: an my vaines
Swell, and my ? inewes ? tart at iniquity of it.
I ? hall breake, breake.
_The_ Diuell _? peakes below_.
PVG. This for the malice of it,
And my reuenge may pa? ? e! But, now, my con? cience
Tells mee, I haue profited the cau? e of Hell 25
But little, in the breaking-off their loues.
Which, if some other act of mine repaire not,
I ? hall heare ill of in my accompt.
Fitz-dottrel _enters with his wife as come downe_.
FIT. O, Bird!
Could you do this? 'gain? t me? and at this time, now?
When I was ? o imploy'd, wholly for you, 30
Drown'd i' my care (more, then the land, I ? weare,
I'haue hope to win) to make you peere-le? ? e? ? tudying,
For footemen for you, fine pac'd hui? hers, pages,
To ? erue you o' the knee; with what Knights wife,
To beare your traine, and ? it with your foure women 35
In councell, and receiue intelligences,
From forraigne parts, to dre? ? e you at all pieces!
Y'haue (a'mo? t) turn'd my good affection, to you;
Sowr'd my ? weet thoughts; all my pure purpo? es:
I could now finde (i' my very heart) to make 40
Another, _Lady Dutche? ? e_; and depo? e you.
Well, goe your waies in. _Diuell_, you haue redeem'd all.
I doe forgiue you. And I'll doe you good.
[404] SD. om. SN. ] FITZ-DOTTRELL _appears at his Wife's back_. G
[405] 8 SN. om. G || you,] you, you, W, G
[406] 11 are. ] are--W, G
[407] 13 Sir. ] Sir--Ed.
[408] 16 I will W, G
[409] 16 SN. ] [_Strikes Mrs. Fitz. and leads her out. _ G
[410] 17 my 1641
[411] 22 th'iniquity G
[412] 23 SN. om [_Exit. _ SCENE III. _Another Room in_ Fitzdottrel's
_House. Enter_ PUG. G
[413] 28 in om. 1641 || SN. ] _Enter_ FITZDOTTREL _and his wife_. G
[414] 30 employ'd 1716, f.
[415] 31, 32 () ret. G
[416] 38 You've 1716, f. || almost W, G
[417] 42 [_Exit Mrs. Fitz. _] G
[418] 43 [_Exit Pug. _ G
ACT. II. SCENE. VIIJ.
MERE-CRAFT. FITZ-DOTTREL. INGINE.
TRAINES.
Why ha you the? e excur? ions? where ha' you beene, Sir? [126]
FIT. Where I ha' beene vex'd a little, with a toy!
MER. O Sir! no toyes mu? t trouble your graue head,
Now it is growing to be great. You mu? t
Be aboue all tho? e things.
FIT. Nay, nay, ? o I will. 5
MER. Now you are to'ard the Lord, you mu? t put off
The man, Sir.
ING. He ? aies true.
MER. You mu? t do nothing
As you ha' done it heretofore; not know,
Or ? alute any man.
ING. That was your bed-fellow,
The other moneth.
MER. The other moneth? the weeke. 10
Thou do? t not know the priueledges, _Ingine_,
Follow that Title; nor how ? wift: To day,
When he has put on his Lords face once, then--
FIT. Sir, for the? e things I ? hall doe well enough,
There is no feare of me. But then, my wife is 15
Such an vntoward thing! ? hee'll neuer learne
How to comport with it. I am out of all
Conceipt, on her behalfe.
MER. Be? t haue her taught, Sir.
FIT. Where?
Are there any Schooles for _Ladies_? Is there
An _Academy_ for women? I doe know, 20
For men, there was: I learn'd in it, my ? elfe,
To make my legges, and doe my po? tures.
ING. Sir.
Doe you remember the conceipt you had--
O' the Spani? h gowne, at home?
Ingine _whi? pers_ Merecraft, Merecraft _turnes to_ Fitz-dottrel.
MER. Ha! I doe thanke thee,
With all my heart, deare _Ingine_. Sir, there is 25
A certaine _Lady_, here about the Towne,
An _Engli? h_ widdow, who hath lately trauell'd,
But ? hee's call'd the _Spaniard_; cau? e ? he came
Late? t from thence: and keepes the _Spani? h_ habit.
Such a rare woman! all our women heere, 30
That are of ? pirit, and fa? hion flocke, vnto her,
As to their Pre? ident; their _Law_; their _Canon_;
More then they euer did, to _Oracle-Foreman_.
Such rare receipts ? hee has, Sir, for the face;
Such _oyles_; such _tinctures_; such _pomatumn's_; 35
Such _perfumes_; _med'cines_; _quinte? ? ences_, _&c. _
And ? uch a Mi? tre? ? e of behauiour; [127]
She knowes, from the _Dukes_ daughter, to the Doxey,
What is their due iu? t: and no more!
FIT. O Sir!
You plea? e me i' this, more then mine owne greatne? ? e, 40
Where is ? hee? Let vs haue her.
MER. By your patience,
We mu? t v? e meanes; ca? t how to be acquainted--
FIT. Good, S^r, about it.
MER. We mu? t think how, fir? t.
FIT. O!
I doe not loue to tarry for a thing,
When I haue a mind to't. You doe not know me. 45
If you doe offer it.
MER. Your wife mu? t ? end
Some pretty token to her, with a complement,
And pray to be receiu'd in her good graces,
All the great _Ladies_ do't.
FIT. She ? hall, ? he ? hall,
What were it be? t to be?
MER. Some little toy, 50
I would not haue it any great matter, Sir:
A _Diamant_ ring, of _forty_ or _fifty_ pound,
Would doe it hand? omely: and be a gift
Fit for your wife to ? end, and her to take.
FIT. I'll goe, and tell my wife on't, ? treight. 55
Fitz-dottrel _goes out_.
MER. Why this
Is well! The clothes we'haue now: But, where's this _Lady_?
If we could get a witty boy, now, _Ingine_;
That were an excellent cracke: I could in? truct him,
To the true height. For any thing takes this _dottrel_.
ING. Why, Sir your be? t will be one o' the players! 60
MER. No, there's no tru? ting them. They'll talke on't,
And tell their _Poets_.
ING. What if they doe? The ie? t
will brooke the Stage. But, there be ? ome of 'hem
Are very hone? t Lads. There's _Dicke Robin? on_
A very pretty fellow, and comes often 65
To a Gentlemans chamber, a friends of mine. We had
The merrie? t ? upper of it there, one night,
The Gentlemans Land-lady invited him
To'a Go? ? ips fea? t. Now, he Sir brought _Dick Robin? on_,
Dre? t like a Lawyers wife, among? t 'hem all; 70
(I lent him cloathes) but, to ? ee him behaue it;
And lay the law; and carue; and drinke vnto 'hem;
And then talke baudy: and ? end frolicks! o!
It would haue bur? t your buttons, or not left you
A ? eame.
MER. They ? ay hee's an ingenious youth! 75
ING. O Sir! and dre? ? es him? elfe, the be? t! beyond
Forty o' your very _Ladies_! did you ne'r ? ee him?
MER. No, I do ? eldome ? ee tho? e toyes. But thinke you,
That we may haue him?
ING. Sir, the young Gentleman
I tell you of, can command him. Shall I attempt it? 80
MER. Yes, doe it.
_Enters againe. _
FIT. S'light, I cannot get my wife
To part with a ring, on any termes: and yet,
The ? ollen _Monkey_ has two.
MER. It were 'gainst rea? on
That you ? hould vrge it; Sir, ? end to a Gold-? mith, [128]
Let not her lo? e by't.
FIT. How do's ? he lo? e by't? 85
Is't not for her?
MER. Make it your owne bounty,
It will ha' the better ? ucce? ? e; what is a matter
Of _fifty_ pound to you, S^r.
FIT. I'haue but a hundred
_Pieces_, to ? hew here; that I would not breake--
MER. You ? hall ha' credit, Sir. I'll ? end a ticket 90
Vnto my Gold-? mith. Heer, my man comes too,
To carry it fitly. How now, _Traines_? What birds?
Traines _enters_.
TRA. Your Cou? in _Euer-ill_ met me, and has beat mee,
Becau? e I would not tell him where you were:
I thinke he has dogd me to the hou? e too.
FIT. Well-- 95
You ? hall goe out at the back-doore, then, _Traines_.
You mu? t get _Guilt-head_ hither, by ? ome meanes:
TRA. 'Tis impo? ? ible!
FIT. Tell him, we haue _veni? on_,
I'll g' him a piece, and ? end his wife a _Phe? ant_.
TRA. A Forre? t moues not, till that _forty_ pound, 100
Yo' had of him, la? t, be pai'd. He keepes more ? tirre,
For that ? ame petty ? umme, then for your bond
Of _? ixe_; and _Statute_ of _eight_ hundred!
FIT.
