"Oh, son of Atreus, the most
illustrious
of the Greeks, thou,
who rulest so many nations, hearken to me.
who rulest so many nations, hearken to me.
Aristophanes
Examine your expressions, for I am going to show you the
repetition. "I come, I return to this land. " But I _come_ is the same
thing as I _return. _
DIONYSUS. Undoubtedly. 'Tis as though I said to my neighbour, "Lend me
either your kneading-trough or your trough to knead in. "
AESCHYLUS. No, you babbler, no, 'tis not the same thing, and the verse is
excellent.
DIONYSUS. Indeed! then prove it.
AESCHYLUS. To come is the act of a citizen who has suffered no
misfortune; but the exile both comes and returns.
DIONYSUS. Excellent! by Apollo! What do you say to that, Euripides?
EURIPIDES. I say that Orestes did not return to his country, for he came
there secretly, without the consent of those in power.
DIONYSUS. Very good indeed! by Hermes! only I have not a notion what it
is you mean.
EURIPIDES. Go on.
DIONYSUS. Come, be quick, Aeschylus, continue; and you look out for the
faults.
AESCHYLUS. "At the foot of this tomb I invoke my father and beseech him
to hearken to me and to hear. "
EURIPIDES. Again a repetition, to hearken and to hear are obviously the
same thing.
DIONYSUS. Why, wretched man, he's addressing the dead, whom to call
thrice even is not sufficient.
AESCHYLUS. And you, how do you form your prologues?
EURIPIDES. I am going to tell you, and if you find a repetition, an idle
word or inappropriate, let me be scouted!
DIONYSUS. Come, speak; 'tis my turn to listen. Let us hear the beauty of
your prologues,
EURIPIDES. "Oedipus was a fortunate man at first . . . "
AESCHYLUS. Not at all; he was destined to misfortune before he even
existed, since Apollo predicted he would kill his father before ever he
was born. How can one say he was fortunate at first?
EURIPIDES. ". . . and he became the most unfortunate of mortals
afterwards. "
AESCHYLUS. No, he did not become so, for he never ceased being so. Look
at the facts! First of all, when scarcely born, he is exposed in the
middle of winter in an earthenware vessel, for fear he might become the
murderer of his father, if brought up; then he came to Polybus with his
feet swollen; furthermore, while young, he marries an old woman, who is
also his mother, and finally he blinds himself.
DIONYSUS. 'Faith! I think he could not have done worse to have been a
colleague of Erasinidas. [504]
EURIPIDES. You can chatter as you will, my prologues are very fine.
AESCHYLUS. I will take care not to carp at them verse by verse and word
for word;[505] but, an it please the gods, a simple little bottle will
suffice me for withering every one of your prologues.
EURIPIDES. You will wither my prologues with a little bottle? [506]
AESCHYLUS. With only one. You make verses of such a kind, that one can
adapt what one will to your iambics: a little bit of fluff, a little
bottle, a little bag. I am going to prove it.
EURIPIDES. You will prove it?
AESCHYLUS. Yes.
DIONYSUS. Come, recite.
EURIPIDES. "Aegyptus, according to the most widely spread reports, having
landed at Argos with his fifty daughters[507] . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
EURIPIDES. What little bottle? May the plague seize you!
DIONYSUS. Recite another prologue to him. We shall see.
EURIPIDES. "Dionysus, who leads the choral dance on Parnassus with the
thyrsus in his hand and clothed in skins of fawns[508] . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. There again his little bottle upsets us.
EURIPIDES. He won't bother us much longer. I have a certain prologue to
which he cannot adapt his tag: "There is no perfect happiness; this one
is of noble origin, but poor; another of humble birth[509] . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. Euripides!
EURIPIDES. What's the matter?
DIONYSUS. Clue up your sails, for this damned little bottle is going to
blow a gale.
EURIPIDES. Little I care, by Demeter! I am going to make it burst in his
hands.
DIONYSUS. Then out with it; recite another prologue, but beware, beware
of the little bottle.
EURIPIDES. "Cadmus, the son of Agenor, while leaving the city of
Sidon[510] . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. Oh! my poor friend; buy that bottle, do, for it is going to
tear all your prologues to ribbons.
EURIPIDES. What? Am I to buy it of him?
DIONYSUS. If you take my advice.
EURIPIDES. No, not I, for I have many prologues to which he cannot
possibly fit his catchword: "Pelops, the son of Tantalus, having started
for Pisa on his swift chariot[511] . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. D'ye see? Again he has popped in his little bottle. Come,
Aeschylus, he is going to buy it of you at any price, and you can have a
splendid one for an obolus.
EURIPIDES. By Zeus, no, not yet! I have plenty of other prologues.
"Oeneus in the fields one day[512] . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
EURIPIDES. Let me first finish the opening verse: "Oeneus in the fields
one day, having made an abundant harvest and sacrificed the first-fruits
to the gods . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. During the sacrifice? And who was the thief?
EURIPIDES. Allow him to try with this one: "Zeus, as even Truth has
said[513] . . . "
DIONYSUS (_to Euripides_). You have lost again; he is going to say, "lost
his little bottle," for that bottle sticks to your prologues like a
ringworm. But, in the name of the gods, turn now to his choruses.
EURIPIDES. I will prove that he knows nothing of lyric poetry, and that
he repeats himself incessantly.
CHORUS. What's he going to say now? I am itching to know what criticisms
he is going to make on the poet, whose sublime songs so far outclass
those of his contemporaries. I cannot imagine with what he is going to
reproach the king of the Dionysia, and I tremble for the aggressor.
EURIPIDES. Oh! those wonderful songs! But watch carefully, for I am going
to condense them all into a single one.
DIONYSUS. And I am going to take pebbles to count the fragments.
EURIPIDES. "Oh, Achilles, King of Phthiotis, hearken to the shout of the
conquering foe and haste to sustain the assault. We dwellers in the
marshes do honour to Hermes, the author of our race. Haste to sustain the
assault. "
DIONYSUS. There, Aeschylus, you have already two assaults against you.
EURIPIDES.
"Oh, son of Atreus, the most illustrious of the Greeks, thou,
who rulest so many nations, hearken to me. Haste to the assault. "
DIONYSUS. A third assault. Beware, Aeschylus.
EURIPIDES. "Keep silent, for the inspired priestesses are opening the
temple of Artemis. Haste to sustain the assault. I have the right to
proclaim that our warriors are leaving under propitious auspices. Haste
to sustain the assault. "[514]
DIONYSUS. Great gods, what a number of assaults! my kidneys are quite
swollen with fatigue; I shall have to go to the bath after all these
assaults.
EURIPIDES. Not before you have heard this other song arranged for the
music of the cithara.
DIONYSUS. Come then, continue; but, prithee, no more "assaults. "
EURIPIDES. "What! the two powerful monarchs, who reign over the Grecian
youth, phlattothrattophlattothrat, are sending the Sphinx, that terrible
harbinger of death, phlattothrattophlattothrat. With his avenging arm
bearing a spear, phlattothrattophlattothrat, the impetuous bird delivers
those who lean to the side of Ajax, phlattothrattophlattothrat, to the
dogs who roam in the clouds, phlattothrattophlattothrat. "[515]
DIONYSUS (_to Aeschylus_). What is this 'phlattothrat'? Does it come from
Marathon or have you picked it out of some labourer's chanty?
AESCHYLUS. I took what was good and improved it still more, so that I
might not be accused of gathering the same flowers as Phrynichus in the
meadow of the Muse. But this man borrows from everybody, from the
suggestions of prostitutes, from the sons of Melitus,[516] from the
Carian flute-music, from wailing women, from dancing-girls. I am going to
prove it, so let a lyre be brought. But what need of a lyre in his case?
Where is the girl with the castanets? Come, thou Muse of Euripides; 'tis
quite thy business to accompany songs of this sort.
DIONYSUS. This Muse has surely done fellation in her day, like a Lesbian
wanton. [517]
AESCHYLUS. "Ye halcyons, who twitter over the ever-flowing billows of the
sea, the damp dew of the waves glistens on your wings; and you spiders,
who we-we-we-we-we-weave the long woofs of your webs in the corners of
our houses with your nimble feet like the noisy shuttle, there where the
dolphin by bounding in the billows, under the influence of the flute,
predicts a favourable voyage; thou glorious ornaments of the vine, the
slender tendrils that support the grape. Child, throw thine arms about my
neck. "[518] Do you note the harmonious rhythm?
DIONYSUS. Yes.
AESCHYLUS. Do you note it?
DIONYSUS. Yes, undoubtedly.
AESCHYLUS. And does the author of such rubbish dare to criticize my
songs? he, who imitates the twelve postures of Cyrene in his poetry? [519]
There you have his lyric melodies, but I still want to give you a sample
of his monologues. "Oh! dark shadows of the night! what horrible dream
are you sending me from the depths of your sombre abysses! Oh! dream,
thou bondsman of Pluto, thou inanimate soul, child of the dark night,
thou dread phantom in long black garments, how bloodthirsty, bloodthirsty
is thy glance! how sharp are thy claws! Handmaidens, kindle the lamp,
draw up the dew of the rivers in your vases and make the water hot; I
wish to purify myself of this dream sent me by the gods. Oh! king of the
ocean, that's right, that's right! Oh! my comrades, behold this wonder.
Glyce has robbed me of my cock and has fled. Oh, Nymphs of the mountains!
oh! Mania! seize her! How unhappy I am! I was full busy with my work, I
was sp-sp-sp-sp-spinning the flax that was on my spindle, I was rounding
off the clew that I was to go and sell in the market at dawn; and he flew
off, flew off, cleaving the air with his swift wings; he left to me
nothing but pain, pain! What tears, tears, poured, poured from my
unfortunate eyes! Oh! Cretans, children of Ida, take your bows; help me,
haste hither, surround the house. And thou, divine huntress, beautiful
Artemis, come with thy hounds and search through the house. And thou
also, daughter of Zeus, seize the torches in thy ready hands and go
before me to Glyce's home, for I propose to go there and rummage
everywhere. "[520]
DIONYSUS. That's enough of choruses.
AESCHYLUS. Yes, faith, enough indeed! I wish now to see my verses weighed
in the scales; 'tis the only way to end this poetic struggle.
DIONYSUS. Well then, come, I am going to sell the poet's genius the same
way cheese is sold in the market.
CHORUS. Truly clever men are possessed of an inventive mind. Here again
is a new idea that is marvellous and strange, and which another would not
have thought of; as for myself I would not have believed anyone who had
told me of it, I would have treated him as a driveller.
DIONYSUS. Come, hither to the scales.
AESCHYLUS AND EURIPIDES. Here we are.
DIONYSUS. Let each one hold one of the scales, recite a verse, and not
let go until I have cried, "Cuckoo! "
AESCHYLUS AND EURIPIDES. We understand.
DIONYSUS. Well then, recite and keep your hands on the scales.
EURIPIDES. "Would it had pleased the gods that the vessel Argo had never
unfurled the wings of her sails! "[521]
AESCHYLUS. "Oh! river Sperchius! oh! meadows, where the oxen graze! "[522]
DIONYSUS. Cuckoo! let go! Oh! the verse of Aeschylus sinks far the lower
of the two.
EURIPIDES. And why?
DIONYSUS. Because, like the wool-merchants, who moisten their wares, he
has thrown a river into his verse and has made it quite wet, whereas
yours was winged and flew away.
EURIPIDES. Come, another verse! You recite, Aeschylus, and you, weigh.
DIONYSUS. Hold the scales again.
AESCHYLUS AND EURIPIDES. Ready.
DIONYSUS (_to Euripides_). You begin.
EURIPIDES. "Eloquence is Persuasion's only sanctuary. "[523]
AESCHYLUS. "Death is the only god whom gifts cannot bribe. "[524]
DIONYSUS. Let go! let go! Here again our friend Aeschylus' verse drags
down the scale; 'tis because he has thrown in Death, the weightiest of
all ills.
EURIPIDES. And I Persuasion; my verse is excellent.
DIONYSUS. Persuasion has both little weight and little sense. But hunt
again for a big weighty verse and solid withal, that it may assure you
the victory.
EURIPIDES. But where am I to find one--where?
DIONYSUS. I'll tell you one: "Achilles has thrown two and four. "[525]
Come, recite! 'tis the last trial.
EURIPIDES. "With his arm he seized a mace, studded with iron. "[526]
AESCHYLUS. "Chariot upon chariot and corpse upon corpse. "[527]
DIONYSUS (_to Euripides_) There you're foiled again.
EURIPIDES. Why?
DIONYSUS. There are two chariots and two corpses in the verse; why, 'tis
a weight a hundred Egyptians could not lift. [528]
AESCHYLUS. 'Tis no longer verse against verse that I wish to weigh, but
let him clamber into the scale himself, he, his children, his wife,
Cephisophon[529] and all his works; against all these I will place but
two of my verses on the other side.
DIONYSUS. I will _not_ be their umpire, for they are dear to me and I
will not have a foe in either of them; meseems the one is mighty clever,
while the other simply delights me.
PLUTO. Then you are foiled in the object of your voyage.
DIONYSUS. And if I do decide?
PLUTO. You shall take with you whichever of the twain you declare the
victor; thus you will not have come in vain.
DIONYSUS. That's all right! Well then, listen; I have come down to find a
poet.
EURIPIDES. And with what intent?
DIONYSUS. So that the city, when once it has escaped the imminent dangers
of the war, may have tragedies produced. I have resolved to take back
whichever of the two is prepared to give good advice to the citizens. So
first of all, what think you of Alcibiades? For the city is in most
difficult labour over this question.
EURIPIDES. And what does it think about it?
DIONYSUS. What does it think? It regrets him, hates him, and yet wishes
to have him, all at the same time. But tell me your opinion, both of you.
EURIPIDES. I hate the citizen who is slow to serve his country, quick to
involve it in the greatest troubles, ever alert to his own interests, and
a bungler where those of the State are at stake.
DIONYSUS. That's good, by Posidon! And you, what is your opinion?
AESCHYLUS. A lion's whelp should not be reared within the city. No doubt
that's best; but if the lion has been reared, one must submit to his
ways.
DIONYSUS. Zeus, the Deliverer! this puzzles me greatly. The one is
clever, the other clear and precise. Now each of you tell me your idea of
the best way to save the State.
EURIPIDES. If Cinesias were fitted to Cleocritus as a pair of wings, and
the wind were to carry the two of them across the waves of the sea . . .
DIONYSUS. 'Twould be funny. But what is he driving at?
EURIPIDES. . . . they could throw vinegar into the eyes of the foe in the
event of a sea-fight. But I know something else I want to tell you.
DIONYSUS. Go on.
EURIPIDES. When we put trust in what we mistrust and mistrust what we
trust. . .
repetition. "I come, I return to this land. " But I _come_ is the same
thing as I _return. _
DIONYSUS. Undoubtedly. 'Tis as though I said to my neighbour, "Lend me
either your kneading-trough or your trough to knead in. "
AESCHYLUS. No, you babbler, no, 'tis not the same thing, and the verse is
excellent.
DIONYSUS. Indeed! then prove it.
AESCHYLUS. To come is the act of a citizen who has suffered no
misfortune; but the exile both comes and returns.
DIONYSUS. Excellent! by Apollo! What do you say to that, Euripides?
EURIPIDES. I say that Orestes did not return to his country, for he came
there secretly, without the consent of those in power.
DIONYSUS. Very good indeed! by Hermes! only I have not a notion what it
is you mean.
EURIPIDES. Go on.
DIONYSUS. Come, be quick, Aeschylus, continue; and you look out for the
faults.
AESCHYLUS. "At the foot of this tomb I invoke my father and beseech him
to hearken to me and to hear. "
EURIPIDES. Again a repetition, to hearken and to hear are obviously the
same thing.
DIONYSUS. Why, wretched man, he's addressing the dead, whom to call
thrice even is not sufficient.
AESCHYLUS. And you, how do you form your prologues?
EURIPIDES. I am going to tell you, and if you find a repetition, an idle
word or inappropriate, let me be scouted!
DIONYSUS. Come, speak; 'tis my turn to listen. Let us hear the beauty of
your prologues,
EURIPIDES. "Oedipus was a fortunate man at first . . . "
AESCHYLUS. Not at all; he was destined to misfortune before he even
existed, since Apollo predicted he would kill his father before ever he
was born. How can one say he was fortunate at first?
EURIPIDES. ". . . and he became the most unfortunate of mortals
afterwards. "
AESCHYLUS. No, he did not become so, for he never ceased being so. Look
at the facts! First of all, when scarcely born, he is exposed in the
middle of winter in an earthenware vessel, for fear he might become the
murderer of his father, if brought up; then he came to Polybus with his
feet swollen; furthermore, while young, he marries an old woman, who is
also his mother, and finally he blinds himself.
DIONYSUS. 'Faith! I think he could not have done worse to have been a
colleague of Erasinidas. [504]
EURIPIDES. You can chatter as you will, my prologues are very fine.
AESCHYLUS. I will take care not to carp at them verse by verse and word
for word;[505] but, an it please the gods, a simple little bottle will
suffice me for withering every one of your prologues.
EURIPIDES. You will wither my prologues with a little bottle? [506]
AESCHYLUS. With only one. You make verses of such a kind, that one can
adapt what one will to your iambics: a little bit of fluff, a little
bottle, a little bag. I am going to prove it.
EURIPIDES. You will prove it?
AESCHYLUS. Yes.
DIONYSUS. Come, recite.
EURIPIDES. "Aegyptus, according to the most widely spread reports, having
landed at Argos with his fifty daughters[507] . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
EURIPIDES. What little bottle? May the plague seize you!
DIONYSUS. Recite another prologue to him. We shall see.
EURIPIDES. "Dionysus, who leads the choral dance on Parnassus with the
thyrsus in his hand and clothed in skins of fawns[508] . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. There again his little bottle upsets us.
EURIPIDES. He won't bother us much longer. I have a certain prologue to
which he cannot adapt his tag: "There is no perfect happiness; this one
is of noble origin, but poor; another of humble birth[509] . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. Euripides!
EURIPIDES. What's the matter?
DIONYSUS. Clue up your sails, for this damned little bottle is going to
blow a gale.
EURIPIDES. Little I care, by Demeter! I am going to make it burst in his
hands.
DIONYSUS. Then out with it; recite another prologue, but beware, beware
of the little bottle.
EURIPIDES. "Cadmus, the son of Agenor, while leaving the city of
Sidon[510] . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. Oh! my poor friend; buy that bottle, do, for it is going to
tear all your prologues to ribbons.
EURIPIDES. What? Am I to buy it of him?
DIONYSUS. If you take my advice.
EURIPIDES. No, not I, for I have many prologues to which he cannot
possibly fit his catchword: "Pelops, the son of Tantalus, having started
for Pisa on his swift chariot[511] . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. D'ye see? Again he has popped in his little bottle. Come,
Aeschylus, he is going to buy it of you at any price, and you can have a
splendid one for an obolus.
EURIPIDES. By Zeus, no, not yet! I have plenty of other prologues.
"Oeneus in the fields one day[512] . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
EURIPIDES. Let me first finish the opening verse: "Oeneus in the fields
one day, having made an abundant harvest and sacrificed the first-fruits
to the gods . . . "
AESCHYLUS. . . . lost his little bottle.
DIONYSUS. During the sacrifice? And who was the thief?
EURIPIDES. Allow him to try with this one: "Zeus, as even Truth has
said[513] . . . "
DIONYSUS (_to Euripides_). You have lost again; he is going to say, "lost
his little bottle," for that bottle sticks to your prologues like a
ringworm. But, in the name of the gods, turn now to his choruses.
EURIPIDES. I will prove that he knows nothing of lyric poetry, and that
he repeats himself incessantly.
CHORUS. What's he going to say now? I am itching to know what criticisms
he is going to make on the poet, whose sublime songs so far outclass
those of his contemporaries. I cannot imagine with what he is going to
reproach the king of the Dionysia, and I tremble for the aggressor.
EURIPIDES. Oh! those wonderful songs! But watch carefully, for I am going
to condense them all into a single one.
DIONYSUS. And I am going to take pebbles to count the fragments.
EURIPIDES. "Oh, Achilles, King of Phthiotis, hearken to the shout of the
conquering foe and haste to sustain the assault. We dwellers in the
marshes do honour to Hermes, the author of our race. Haste to sustain the
assault. "
DIONYSUS. There, Aeschylus, you have already two assaults against you.
EURIPIDES.
"Oh, son of Atreus, the most illustrious of the Greeks, thou,
who rulest so many nations, hearken to me. Haste to the assault. "
DIONYSUS. A third assault. Beware, Aeschylus.
EURIPIDES. "Keep silent, for the inspired priestesses are opening the
temple of Artemis. Haste to sustain the assault. I have the right to
proclaim that our warriors are leaving under propitious auspices. Haste
to sustain the assault. "[514]
DIONYSUS. Great gods, what a number of assaults! my kidneys are quite
swollen with fatigue; I shall have to go to the bath after all these
assaults.
EURIPIDES. Not before you have heard this other song arranged for the
music of the cithara.
DIONYSUS. Come then, continue; but, prithee, no more "assaults. "
EURIPIDES. "What! the two powerful monarchs, who reign over the Grecian
youth, phlattothrattophlattothrat, are sending the Sphinx, that terrible
harbinger of death, phlattothrattophlattothrat. With his avenging arm
bearing a spear, phlattothrattophlattothrat, the impetuous bird delivers
those who lean to the side of Ajax, phlattothrattophlattothrat, to the
dogs who roam in the clouds, phlattothrattophlattothrat. "[515]
DIONYSUS (_to Aeschylus_). What is this 'phlattothrat'? Does it come from
Marathon or have you picked it out of some labourer's chanty?
AESCHYLUS. I took what was good and improved it still more, so that I
might not be accused of gathering the same flowers as Phrynichus in the
meadow of the Muse. But this man borrows from everybody, from the
suggestions of prostitutes, from the sons of Melitus,[516] from the
Carian flute-music, from wailing women, from dancing-girls. I am going to
prove it, so let a lyre be brought. But what need of a lyre in his case?
Where is the girl with the castanets? Come, thou Muse of Euripides; 'tis
quite thy business to accompany songs of this sort.
DIONYSUS. This Muse has surely done fellation in her day, like a Lesbian
wanton. [517]
AESCHYLUS. "Ye halcyons, who twitter over the ever-flowing billows of the
sea, the damp dew of the waves glistens on your wings; and you spiders,
who we-we-we-we-we-weave the long woofs of your webs in the corners of
our houses with your nimble feet like the noisy shuttle, there where the
dolphin by bounding in the billows, under the influence of the flute,
predicts a favourable voyage; thou glorious ornaments of the vine, the
slender tendrils that support the grape. Child, throw thine arms about my
neck. "[518] Do you note the harmonious rhythm?
DIONYSUS. Yes.
AESCHYLUS. Do you note it?
DIONYSUS. Yes, undoubtedly.
AESCHYLUS. And does the author of such rubbish dare to criticize my
songs? he, who imitates the twelve postures of Cyrene in his poetry? [519]
There you have his lyric melodies, but I still want to give you a sample
of his monologues. "Oh! dark shadows of the night! what horrible dream
are you sending me from the depths of your sombre abysses! Oh! dream,
thou bondsman of Pluto, thou inanimate soul, child of the dark night,
thou dread phantom in long black garments, how bloodthirsty, bloodthirsty
is thy glance! how sharp are thy claws! Handmaidens, kindle the lamp,
draw up the dew of the rivers in your vases and make the water hot; I
wish to purify myself of this dream sent me by the gods. Oh! king of the
ocean, that's right, that's right! Oh! my comrades, behold this wonder.
Glyce has robbed me of my cock and has fled. Oh, Nymphs of the mountains!
oh! Mania! seize her! How unhappy I am! I was full busy with my work, I
was sp-sp-sp-sp-spinning the flax that was on my spindle, I was rounding
off the clew that I was to go and sell in the market at dawn; and he flew
off, flew off, cleaving the air with his swift wings; he left to me
nothing but pain, pain! What tears, tears, poured, poured from my
unfortunate eyes! Oh! Cretans, children of Ida, take your bows; help me,
haste hither, surround the house. And thou, divine huntress, beautiful
Artemis, come with thy hounds and search through the house. And thou
also, daughter of Zeus, seize the torches in thy ready hands and go
before me to Glyce's home, for I propose to go there and rummage
everywhere. "[520]
DIONYSUS. That's enough of choruses.
AESCHYLUS. Yes, faith, enough indeed! I wish now to see my verses weighed
in the scales; 'tis the only way to end this poetic struggle.
DIONYSUS. Well then, come, I am going to sell the poet's genius the same
way cheese is sold in the market.
CHORUS. Truly clever men are possessed of an inventive mind. Here again
is a new idea that is marvellous and strange, and which another would not
have thought of; as for myself I would not have believed anyone who had
told me of it, I would have treated him as a driveller.
DIONYSUS. Come, hither to the scales.
AESCHYLUS AND EURIPIDES. Here we are.
DIONYSUS. Let each one hold one of the scales, recite a verse, and not
let go until I have cried, "Cuckoo! "
AESCHYLUS AND EURIPIDES. We understand.
DIONYSUS. Well then, recite and keep your hands on the scales.
EURIPIDES. "Would it had pleased the gods that the vessel Argo had never
unfurled the wings of her sails! "[521]
AESCHYLUS. "Oh! river Sperchius! oh! meadows, where the oxen graze! "[522]
DIONYSUS. Cuckoo! let go! Oh! the verse of Aeschylus sinks far the lower
of the two.
EURIPIDES. And why?
DIONYSUS. Because, like the wool-merchants, who moisten their wares, he
has thrown a river into his verse and has made it quite wet, whereas
yours was winged and flew away.
EURIPIDES. Come, another verse! You recite, Aeschylus, and you, weigh.
DIONYSUS. Hold the scales again.
AESCHYLUS AND EURIPIDES. Ready.
DIONYSUS (_to Euripides_). You begin.
EURIPIDES. "Eloquence is Persuasion's only sanctuary. "[523]
AESCHYLUS. "Death is the only god whom gifts cannot bribe. "[524]
DIONYSUS. Let go! let go! Here again our friend Aeschylus' verse drags
down the scale; 'tis because he has thrown in Death, the weightiest of
all ills.
EURIPIDES. And I Persuasion; my verse is excellent.
DIONYSUS. Persuasion has both little weight and little sense. But hunt
again for a big weighty verse and solid withal, that it may assure you
the victory.
EURIPIDES. But where am I to find one--where?
DIONYSUS. I'll tell you one: "Achilles has thrown two and four. "[525]
Come, recite! 'tis the last trial.
EURIPIDES. "With his arm he seized a mace, studded with iron. "[526]
AESCHYLUS. "Chariot upon chariot and corpse upon corpse. "[527]
DIONYSUS (_to Euripides_) There you're foiled again.
EURIPIDES. Why?
DIONYSUS. There are two chariots and two corpses in the verse; why, 'tis
a weight a hundred Egyptians could not lift. [528]
AESCHYLUS. 'Tis no longer verse against verse that I wish to weigh, but
let him clamber into the scale himself, he, his children, his wife,
Cephisophon[529] and all his works; against all these I will place but
two of my verses on the other side.
DIONYSUS. I will _not_ be their umpire, for they are dear to me and I
will not have a foe in either of them; meseems the one is mighty clever,
while the other simply delights me.
PLUTO. Then you are foiled in the object of your voyage.
DIONYSUS. And if I do decide?
PLUTO. You shall take with you whichever of the twain you declare the
victor; thus you will not have come in vain.
DIONYSUS. That's all right! Well then, listen; I have come down to find a
poet.
EURIPIDES. And with what intent?
DIONYSUS. So that the city, when once it has escaped the imminent dangers
of the war, may have tragedies produced. I have resolved to take back
whichever of the two is prepared to give good advice to the citizens. So
first of all, what think you of Alcibiades? For the city is in most
difficult labour over this question.
EURIPIDES. And what does it think about it?
DIONYSUS. What does it think? It regrets him, hates him, and yet wishes
to have him, all at the same time. But tell me your opinion, both of you.
EURIPIDES. I hate the citizen who is slow to serve his country, quick to
involve it in the greatest troubles, ever alert to his own interests, and
a bungler where those of the State are at stake.
DIONYSUS. That's good, by Posidon! And you, what is your opinion?
AESCHYLUS. A lion's whelp should not be reared within the city. No doubt
that's best; but if the lion has been reared, one must submit to his
ways.
DIONYSUS. Zeus, the Deliverer! this puzzles me greatly. The one is
clever, the other clear and precise. Now each of you tell me your idea of
the best way to save the State.
EURIPIDES. If Cinesias were fitted to Cleocritus as a pair of wings, and
the wind were to carry the two of them across the waves of the sea . . .
DIONYSUS. 'Twould be funny. But what is he driving at?
EURIPIDES. . . . they could throw vinegar into the eyes of the foe in the
event of a sea-fight. But I know something else I want to tell you.
DIONYSUS. Go on.
EURIPIDES. When we put trust in what we mistrust and mistrust what we
trust. . .
