No More Learning

As he said to himself:- "If for my sins or by my good
fortune I come across some giant hereabouts, a common occur-
rence with knights-errant,- and overthrow him in one onslaught,
or cleave him asunder to the waist, or in short, vanquish and
subdue him, will it not be well to have some one I may send
him to as a present, that he may come in and fall on his knees
before my sweet lady and in a humble, submissive voice say:-
'I am the giant Caraculiambro, lord of the island of Malindrania,
vanquished in single combat by the never-sufficiently-extolled
knight Don Quixote of La Mancha, who has commanded me to
present myself before your Grace, that your Highness dispose of
me at your pleasure"? Oh, how our good gentleman enjoyed
the delivery of this speech, especially when he had thought of
some one to call his Lady! There was, so the story goes, in a
village near his own a very good-looking farm-girl with whom he
had been at one time in love, though so far as is known, she
never knew it nor gave a thought to the matter. Her name was
Aldonza Lorenzo, and upon her he thought fit to confer the title
of Lady of his Thoughts; and after some search for a name
which should not be out of harmony with her own, and should


## p. 3462 (#440) ###########################################

3462
CERVANTES
suggest and indicate that of a princess and great lady, he decided
upon calling her Dulcinea del Toboso-she being of El Toboso-
a name, to his mind, musical, uncommon, and significant, like all
those he had already bestowed upon himself and the things
belonging to him.
OF WHAT HAPPENED TO DON QUIXOTE WHEN HE LEFT
THE INN
DA
AY was dawning when Don Quixote quitted the inn, so happy,
so gay, so exhilarated at finding himself dubbed a knight,
that his joy was like to burst his horse-girths. However,
recalling the advice of his host as to the requisites he ought to
carry with him, especially that referring to money and shirts, he
determined to go home and provide himself with all, and also
with a squire; for he reckoned upon securing a farm-laborer, a
neighbor of his, a poor man with a family, but very well quali
fied for the office of squire to a knight. With this object he
turned his horse's head towards his village, and Rosinante, thus
reminded of his old quarters, stepped out so briskly that he
hardly seemed to tread the earth.
He had not gone far, when out of a thicket on his right there
seemed to come feeble cries as of some one in distress; and the
instant he heard them he exclaimed:-"Thanks be to heaven for
the favor it accords me, that it so soon offers me an opportunity
of fulfilling the obligation I have undertaken, and gathering the
fruit of my ambition. These cries no doubt come from some
man or woman in want of help, and needing my aid and pro-
tection;" and wheeling, he turned Rosinante in the direction
whence the cries seemed to proceed. He had gone but a few
paces into the wood when he saw a mare tied to an oak, and
tied to another, and stripped from the waist upwards, a youth
of about fifteen years of age, from whom the cries came. Nor
were they without cause, for a lusty farmer was flogging him
with a belt and following up every blow with scoldings and
commands; repeating, "Your mouth shut and your eyes open! "
while the youth made answer, "I won't do it again, master
mine; by God's passion, I won't do it again, and I'll take more
care of the flock another time. "
Seeing what was going on, Don Quixote said in an angry
voice, "Discourteous knight, it ill becomes you to assail one who


## p. 3463 (#441) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3463
cannot defend himself; mount your steed and take your lance"
(for there was a lance leaning against the oak to which the mare
was tied), “and I will make you know that you are behaving as
a coward. " The farmer, seeing before him this figure in full
armor, brandishing a lance over his head, gave himself up for
dead and made answer meekly:-"Sir Knight, this youth that
I am chastising is my servant, employed by me to watch a flock
of sheep that I have hard by; and he is so careless that I lose
one every day, and when I punish him for his carelessness and
knavery he says I do it out of niggardliness, to escape paying
him the wages I owe him, and before God, and on my soul, he
lies. "
"Lies before me, base clown! " said Don Quixote. "By the
sun that shines on us, I have a mind to run you through with
this lance. Pay him at once, without another word; if not, by
the God that rules us, I will make an end of you, and annihilate
you on the spot; release him instantly. "
The farmer hung his head, and without a word untied his
servant, of whom Don Quixote asked how much his master owed
him.
He replied, nine months at seven reals a month. Don
Quixote added it up, found that it came to sixty-three reals, and
told the farmer to pay it down immediately if he did not want
to die for it.
The trembling clown replied that as he lived and by the
oath he had sworn (though he had not sworn any) it was not so
much; for there were to be taken into account and deducted
three pairs of shoes he had given him, and a real for two blood-
lettings when he was sick.
"All that is very well," said Don Quixote; "but let the shoes.
and the blood-lettings stand as a set-off against the blows you
have given him without any cause; for if he spoiled the leather
of the shoes you paid for, you have damaged that of his body,
and if the barber took blood from him when he was sick, you
have drawn it when he was sound; so on that score he owes
you nothing. "
"The difficulty is, Sir Knight, that I have no money here;
let Andres come home with me, and I will pay him all, real by
real. "
"I go with him! " said the youth. "Nay, God forbid no,
señor, not for the world; for once alone with me, he would flay
me like a Saint Bartholomew. "


## p. 3464 (#442) ###########################################

3464
CERVANTES
"He will do nothing of the kind," said Don Quixote; “I
have only to command and he will obey me, and he has sworn
to me by the order of knighthood which he has received.
leave him free, and I guarantee the payment. "
"Consider what you are saying, señor," said the youth; "this
master of mine is not a knight, nor has he received any order
of knighthood; for he is Juan Haldudo the Rich, of Quintanar. "
"That matters little," replied Don Quixote; "there may be
Haldudos knights; moreover, every one is the son of his works. "
"That is true," said Andres; "but this master of mine- - of
what work is he the son, when he refuses me the wages of my
sweat and labor? »
―
"I do not refuse, brother Andres," said the farmer; "be good
enough to come along with me, and I swear by all the orders
of knighthood there are in the world to pay you as I have
agreed, real by real, and perfumed. ”
"For the perfumery I excuse you," said Don Quixote; "give
it to him in reals, and I shall be satisfied; and see that you do
as you have sworn; if not, by the same oath I swear to come
back and hunt you out and punish you; and I shall find you
though you should lie closer than a lizard. And if you desire to
know who it is lays this command upon you, that you may be
more firmly bound to obey it, know that I am the valorous Don
Quixote of La Mancha, the undoer of wrongs and injustices; and
so God be with you, and keep in mind what you have promised
and sworn under those penalties that have been already declared
to you.
>>
So saying, he gave Rosinante the spur and was soon out of
reach. The farmer followed him with his eyes, and when he
saw that he had cleared the wood and was no longer in sight,
he turned to his boy Andres and said, "Come here, my son; I
want to pay you what I owe you, as that undoer of wrongs has
commanded me. "
"My oath on it," said Andres, "your Worship will be well ad-
vised to obey the command of that good knight-may he live a
thousand years! - for as he is a valiant and just judge, by Roque,
if you do not pay me, he will come back and do as he said. ”
"My oath on it too," said the farmer; "but as I have a
strong affection for you, I want to add to the debt in order to
add to the payment;" and seizing him by the arm, he tied him
up to the oak again, where he gave him such a flogging that he
left him for dead.


## p. 3465 (#443) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3465
"Now, Master Andres," said the farmer, "call on the undoer
of wrongs; you will find he won't undo that, though I am not
sure that I have quite done with you, for I have a good mind
to flay you alive as you feared. " But at last he untied him,
and gave him leave to go look for his judge in order to put the
sentence pronounced into execution.
Andres went off rather down in the mouth, swearing he
would go to look for the valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha and
tell him exactly what had happened, and that all would have to
be repaid him sevenfold; but for all that he went off weeping,
while his master stood laughing.
Thus did the valiant Don Quixote right that wrong; and
thoroughly satisfied with what had taken place, as he considered
he had made a very happy and noble beginning with his knight-
hood, he took the road towards his village in perfect self-
content, saying in a low voice: "Well mayest thou this day call
thyself fortunate above all on earth, O Dulcinea del Toboso,
fairest of the fair! since it has fallen to thy lot to hold subject
and submissive to thy full will and pleasure a knight so
renowned as is and will be Don Quixote of La Mancha, who
as all the world knows, yesterday received the order of knight-
hood, and hath to-day righted the greatest wrong and grievance
that ever injustice conceived and cruelty perpetrated; who hath
to-day plucked the rod from the hand of yonder ruthless op-
pressor so wantonly lashing that tender child. "
He now came to a road branching in four directions, and
immediately he was reminded of those cross-roads where knights-
errant used to stop to consider which road they should take. In
imitation of them he halted for a while, and after having deeply
considered it, he gave Rosinante his head, submitting his own.
will to that of his hack, who followed out his first intention,
which was to make straight for his own stable. After he had
gone about two miles Don Quixote perceived a large party of
people, who as afterwards appeared were some Toledo traders,
on their way to buy silk at Murcia. There were six of them
coming along under their sun-shades, with four servants mounted,
and three muleteers on foot. Scarcely had Don Quixote descried
them when the fancy possessed him that this must be some new
adventure; and to help him to imitate as far as he could those
passages he had read of in his books, here seemed to come one
made on purpose, which he resolved to attempt. So with a lofty


## p. 3466 (#444) ###########################################

3466
CERVANTES
bearing and determination he fixed himself firmly in his stirrups,
got his lance ready, brought his buckler before his breast, and
planting himself in the middle of the road, stood waiting the
approach of these knights-errant, for such he now considered and
held them to be; and when they had come near enough to see
and hear, he exclaimed with a haughty gesture:- "All the
world stand, unless all the world confess that in all the world
there is no maiden fairer than the Empress of La Mancha, the
peerless Dulcinea del Toboso. "
The traders halted at the sound of this language and the
sight of the strange figure that uttered it, and from both figure
and language at once guessed the craze of their owner; they
wished however to learn quietly what was the object of this con-
fession that was demanded of them, and one of them, who was
rather fond of a joke and was very sharp-witted, said to him:-
"Sir Knight, we do not know who this good lady is that you
speak of; show her to us, for if she be of such beauty as you
suggest, with all our hearts and without any pressure we will
confess the truth that is on your part required of us. "
-
"If I were to show her to you," replied Don Quixote, "what
merit would you have in confessing a truth so manifest ? The
essential point is that without seeing her you must believe, con-
fess, affirm, swear, and defend it; else ye have to do with me in
battle, ill-conditioned arrogant rabble that ye are: and come ye
on, one by one as the order of knighthood requires, or all
together as is the custom and vile usage of your breed; here do
I bide and await you, relying on the justice of the cause I main-
tain. "
"Sir Knight,” replied the trader, "I entreat your Worship in
the name of this present company of princes, that to save us
from charging our consciences with the confession of a thing we
have never seen or heard of, and one moreover so much to the
prejudice of the Empresses and Queens of the Alcarria and Estre-
madura, your worship will be pleased to show us some portrait
of this lady, though it be no bigger than a grain of wheat; for by
the thread one gets at the ball, and in this way we shall be sat-
isfied and easy, and you will be content and pleased: nay, I be-
lieve we
are already so far agreed with you that even though
her portrait should show her blind of one eye, and distilling
vermilion and sulphur from the other, we would nevertheless,
to gratify your Worship, say all in her favor that you desire. "


## p. 3467 (#445) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3467
"She distills nothing of the kind, vile rabble," said Don
Quixote, burning with rage; "nothing of the kind, I say; only
ambergris and civet in cotton; nor is she one-eyed or hump-
backed, but straighter than a Guadarrama spindle: but ye must
pay for the blasphemy ye have uttered against beauty like that
of my lady. "
And so saying he charged with leveled lance against the one
who had spoken, with such fury and fierceness that, if luck had
not contrived that Rosinante should stumble midway and come
down, it would have gone hard with the rash trader. Down
went Rosinante, and over went his master, rolling along the
ground for some distance; and when he tried to rise he was
unable, so incumbered was he with lance, buckler, spurs, hel-
met, and the weight of his old armor; and all the while he
was struggling to get up, he kept saying, "Fly not, cowards
and caitiffs! stay, for not by my fault, but my horse's, am I
stretched here. "
One of the muleteers in attendance, who could not have had
much good-nature in him, hearing the poor prostrate man blus
tering in this style, was unable to refrain from giving him an
answer on his ribs; and coming up to him he seized his lance,
and having broken it in pieces, with one of them he began so
to belabor our Don Quixote that, notwithstanding and in spite
of his armor, he milled him like a measure of wheat.
His mas-
ters called out not to lay on so hard and to leave him alone,
but the muleteer's blood was up, and he did not care to drop the
game until he had vented the rest of his wrath; and gathering
up the remaining fragments of the lance he finished with a dis-
charge upon the unhappy victim, who all through the storm of
sticks that rained on him never ceased threatening heaven, and
earth, and the brigands—for such they seemed to him. At last
the muleteer was tired, and the traders continued their journey,
taking with them matter for talk about the poor fellow who had
been cudgeled. He, when he found himself alone, made another
effort to rise; but if he was unable when whole and sound, how
was he to rise after having been thrashed and well-nigh knocked
to pieces! And yet he esteemed himself fortunate, as it seemed
to him that this was a regular knight-errant's mishap, and
entirely, he considered, the fault of his horse. However, bat-
tered in body as he was, to rise was beyond his power.


## p. 3468 (#446) ###########################################

3468
CERVANTES
DON QUIXOTE AND SANCHO PANZA SALLY FORTH: AND THE
ADVENTURE WITH THE WINDMILLS
HR
E REMAINED at home fifteen days very quietly, without show-
ing any signs of a desire to take up with his former delu-
sions; and during this time he held lively discussions with
his two gossips, the curate and the barber, on the point he
maintained, that knights-errant were what the world stood most
in need of, and that in him was to be accomplished the revival
of knight-errantry. The curate sometimes contradicted him,
sometimes agreed with him, for if he had not observed this pre-
caution he would have been unable to bring him to reason.
Meanwhile Don Quixote worked upon a a farm-laborer, a
neighbor of his, an honest man (if indeed that title can be given
to him who is poor), but with very little wit in his pate. In a
word, he so talked him over, and with such persuasions and
promises, that the poor clown made up his mind to sally forth
with him and serve him as esquire. Don Quixote, among other
things, told him he ought to be ready to go with him gladly,
because at any moment an adventure might occur, that might
win an island in the twinkling of an eye and leave him governor
of it. On these and the like promises Sancho Panza (for so the
laborer was called) left wife and children, and engaged himself
as esquire to his neighbor. Don Quixote next set about getting
some money; and selling one thing and pawning another, and
making a bad bargain in every case, he got together a fair sum.
He provided himself with a buckler, which he begged as a loan
from a friend, and restoring his battered helmet as best he
could, he warned his squire Sancho of the day and hour he
meant to set out, that he might provide himself with what
he thought most needful. Above all, he charged him to take
alforjas with him. The other said he would, and that he meant
to take also a very good ass he had, as he was not much given
to going on foot. About the ass, Don Quixote hesitated a little,
trying whether he could call to mind any knight-errant taking
with him an esquire mounted on ass-back, but no instance
occurred to his memory. For all that, however, he determined to
take him; intending to furnish him with a more honorable mount
when a chance of it presented itself, by appropriating the horse
of the first discourteous knight he encountered.
Himself he pro-
vided with shirts and such other things as he could, according


## p. 3469 (#447) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3469
to the advice the host had given him; all which being settled.
and done, without taking leave, Sancho Panza of his wife and
children, or Don Quixote of his housekeeper and niece, they
sallied forth unseen by anybody from the village one night, and
made such good way in the course of it that by daylight they
held themselves safe from discovery, even should search be made
for them.
Sancho rode on his ass like a patriarch, with his alforjas and
bota, and longing to see himself soon governor of the island his
master had promised him. Don Quixote decided upon taking
the same route and road he had taken on his first journey, that
over the Campo de Montiel, which he traveled with less discom-
fort than on the last occasion; for as it was early morning and
the rays of the sun fell on them obliquely, the heat did not dis-
tress them.
And now said Sancho Panza to his master, "Your Worship
will take care, Señor Knight-Errant, not to forget about the
island you have promised me, for be it ever so big I'll be equal
to governing it. "
To which Don Quixote replied: "Thou must know, friend
Sancho Panza, that it was a practice very much in vogue with
the knights-errant of old to make their squires governors of the
islands or kingdoms they won, and I am determined that there
shall be no failure on my part in so liberal a custom; on the
contrary, I mean to improve upon it, for they sometimes, and per-
haps most frequently, waited until their squires were old, and
then when they had had enough of service and hard days and
worse nights, they gave them some title or other, of count, or at
the most marquis, of some valley or province more or less; but
if thou livest and I live, it may well be that before six days are
over I may have won some kingdom that has others dependent
upon it, which will be just the thing to enable thee to be crowned
king of one of them. Nor needst thou count this wonderful, for
things and chances fall to the lot of such knights in ways so
unexampled and unexpected that I might easily give thee even
more than I promise thee. "
"In that case," said Sancho Panza, "if I should become a
king by one of those miracles your Worship speaks of, even
Juana Gutierrez, my old woman, would come to be queen and
my children infantes. "
"Well, who doubts it? " said Don Quixote.
-


## p. 3470 (#448) ###########################################

3470
CERVANTES
"I doubt it,” replied Sancho Panza; "because for my part I
am persuaded that though God should shower down kingdoms
upon earth, not one of them would fit the head of Mari Gutier-
Let me tell you, señor, she is not worth two maravedis for
a queen; countess will fit her better, and that only with God's
help. "
rez.
"Leave it to God, Sancho," returned Don Quixote, "for he
will give her what suits her best; but do not undervalue thyself
so much as to come to be content with anything less than being
governor of a province. "
"I will not, señor," answered Sancho; "especially as I have a
man of such quality for master in your Worship, who will be
able to give me all that will be suitable for me and that I can
bear. "
At this point they came in sight of thirty or forty windmills
that there are on that plain, and as soon as Don Quixote saw
them he said to his squire, "Fortune is arranging matters for us
better than we could have shaped our desires ourselves; for look
there, friend Sancho Panza, where thirty or more monstrous
giants present themselves, all of whom I mean to engage in
battle and slay, and with whose spoils we shall begin to make
our fortunes; for this is righteous warfare, and it is God's good
service to sweep so evil a breed from off the face of the earth. ”
"What giants? " said Sancho Panza.
"Those thou seest there," answered his master, "with the
long arms; and some have them nearly two leagues long. "
"Look, your Worship," said Sancho; "what we see there are
not giants but windmills, and what seem to be their arms are
the sails that turned by the wind make the millstones go. ”
"It is easy to see," replied Don Quixote, "that thou art not
used to this business of adventures; those are giants; and if thou
art afraid, away with thee out of this and betake thyself to
prayer, while I engage them in fierce and unequal combat. "
So saying, he gave the spur to his steed Rosinante, heedless
of the cries his squire Sancho sent after him, warning him that
most certainly they were windmills and not giants he was going
to attack. He however was so positive they were giants that he
neither heard the cries of Sancho, nor perceived, near
as he
was, what they were; but made at them, shouting, "Fly not,
cowards and vile beings, for it is a single knight that attacks
you! "


## p. 3471 (#449) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3471
A slight breeze at this moment sprang up, and the great sails
began to move; seeing which, Don Quixote exclaimed, "Though
ye flourish more arms than the giant Briareus, ye have to reckon
with me. "
So saying, and commending himself with all his heart to his
lady Dulcinea, imploring her to support him in such a peril, with
lance in rest and covered by his buckler, he charged at Rosi-
nante's fullest gallop and fell upon the first mill that stood in
front of him; but as he drove his lance-point into the sail the
wind whirled it round with such force that it shivered the lance
to pieces, sweeping with it horse and rider, who went rolling
over on the plain in a sorry condition. Sancho hastened to his
assistance as fast as his ass could go, and when he came up
found him unable to move, with such a shock had Rosinante
fallen with him.
"God bless me! " said Sancho, "did I not tell your Worship
to mind what you were about, for they were only windmills?
and no one could have made any mistake about it but one who
had something of the same kind in his head. "
"Hush, friend Sancho," replied Don Quixote; "the fortunes
of war more than any other are liable to frequent fluctuations;
and moreover I think, and it is the truth, that that same sage
Friston who carried off my study and books has turned these
giants into mills in order to rob me of the glory of vanquishing
them,- such is the enmity he bears me; but in the end his
wicked arts will avail but little against my good sword. "
"God order it as he may," said Sancho Panza; and helping
him to rise, got him up again on Rosinante, whose shoulder was
half out; and then, discussing the late adventure, they followed
the road to Puerto Lapice, for there, said Don Quixote, they
could not fail to find adventures in abundance and variety, as
it was a great thoroughfare.


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3472
CERVANTES
SANCHO PANZA AND HIS WIFE TERESA CONVERSE SHREWDLY
HE translator of this history, when he comes to write this fifth
chapter, says that considers it apocryphal, because in it
Sancho Panza speaks in a style unlike that which might
have been expected from his limited intelligence, and says things
so subtle that he does not think it possible he could have con-
ceived them; however, desirous of doing what his task imposed
upon him, he was unwilling to leave it untranslated, and there-
fore he went on to say:—
Sancho came home in such glee and spirits that his wife
noticed his happiness a bowshot off, so much so that it made her
ask him, "What have you got, Sancho friend, that you are SO
glad? »
To which he replied, "Wife, if it were God's will, I should be
very glad not to be so well pleased as I show myself. "
"I don't understand you, husband," said she, "and I don't
know what you mean by saying you would be glad, if it were
God's will, not to be well pleased; for fool as I am, I don't
know how one can find pleasure in not having it. "
"Hark ye, Teresa," replied Sancho, "I am glad because I
have made up my mind to go back to the service of my master
Don Quixote, who means to go out a third time to seek for
adventures; and I am going with him again, for my necessities
will have it so, and also the hope that cheers me with the
thought that I may find another hundred crowns like those we
have spent; though it makes me sad to have to leave thee and
the children; and if God would be pleased to let me have my
daily bread, dry-shod and at home, without taking me out into
the byways and cross-roads—and he could do it at small cost
by merely willing it- it is clear my happiness would be more
solid and lasting, for the happiness I have is mingled with sorrow
at leaving thee; so that I was right in saying I would be glad, if
it were God's will, not to be well pleased. "
"Look here, Sancho," said Teresa; "ever since you joined on
to a knight-errant you talk in such a roundabout way that there
is no understanding you. "
"It is enough that God understands me, wife," replied Sancho;
"for he is the understander of all things; that will do: but mind,
sister, you must look to Dapple carefully for the next three days,
so that he may be fit to take arms; double his feed, and see to


## p. 3473 (#451) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3473
the pack-saddle and other harness, for it is not to a wedding we
are bound, but to go round the world, and play at give-and-take
with giants and dragons and monsters, and hear hissings and
roarings and bellowings and howlings; and even all this would
be lavender, if we had not to reckon with Yanguesans and
enchanted Moors. "
"I know well enough, husband," said Teresa, "that squires-
errant don't eat their bread for nothing, and so I will be always
praying to our Lord to deliver you speedily from all that hard
fortune. "
"I can tell you, wife," said Sancho, "if I did not expect to
see myself governor of an island before long, I would drop down
dead on the spot. ”
"Nay then, husband," said Teresa, "let the hen live, though
it be with her pip; live, and let the devil take all the gov-
ernments in the world: you came out of your mother's womb
without a government, you have lived until now without a gov-
ernment, and when it is God's will you will go, or be carried,
to your grave without a government. How many there are in
the world who live without a government, and continue to live
all the same, and are reckoned in the number of the people.
The best sauce in the world is hunger, and as the poor are
never without that, they always eat with a relish. But mind,
Sancho, if by good luck you should find yourself with some gov-
ernment, don't forget me and your children. Remember that
Sanchico is now full fifteen, and it is right he should go to
school, if his uncle the abbot has a mind to have him trained for
the Church. Consider, too, that your daughter Maria-Sancha will
not die of grief if we marry her; for I have my suspicions that
she is as eager to get a husband as you to get a government;
and after all, a daughter looks better ill married than well
kept. "
"By my faith," replied Sancho, "if God brings me to get any
sort of a government, I intend, wife, to make such a high match
for Maria-Sancha that there will be no approaching her without
calling her my lady. "
"Nay, Sancho," returned Teresa, "marry her to her equal,
that is the safest plan; for if you put her out of wooden clogs
into high-heeled shoes, out of her gray flannel petticoat into
hoops and silk gowns, out of the plain 'Marica' and 'thou' into
'Doña So-and-so' and 'my lady,' the girl won't know where she
VI-218


## p. 3474 (#452) ###########################################

3474
CERVANTES
is, and at every turn she will fall into a thousand blunders that
will show the thread of her coarse homespun stuff. "
"Tut, you fool," said Sancho; "it will be only to practice it
for two or three years, and then dignity and decorum will fit her
as easily as a glove, and if not, what matter? Let her be 'my
lady,' and never mind what happens. "
"Keep to your own station, Sancho," replied Teresa; "don't
try to raise yourself higher, and bear in mind the proverb that
says, 'Wipe the nose of your neighbor's son, and take him into
your house. A fine thing it would be, indeed, to marry our
Maria to some great count or grand gentleman who when the
humor took him would abuse her, and call her 'clown-bred and
'clodhopper's daughter' and 'spinning-wench. ' I have not been
bringing up my daughter for that all this time, I can tell you,
husband. Do you bring home money, Sancho, and leave marry-
ing her to my care: there is Lope Tocho, Juan Tocho's son, a
stout, sturdy young fellow that we know, and I can see he does
not look sour at the girl; and with him, one of our own sort,
she will be well married, and we shall have her always under
our eyes, and be all one family, parents and children, grand-
children and sons-in-law, and the peace and blessing of God will
dwell among us; so don't you go marrying her in those courts
and grand palaces where they won't know what to make of her,
or she what to make of herself. "
>
"Why, you idiot and wife for Barabbas," said Sancho, "what
do you mean by trying, without why or wherefore, to keep me
from marrying my daughter to one who will give me grand-
children that will be called 'your Lordship'? Look ye, Teresa,
I have always heard my elders say that he who does not know
how to take advantage of luck when it comes to him, has no
right to complain if it gives him the go-by; and now that it is
knocking at our door, it will not do to shut it out; let us go
with the favoring breeze that blows upon us. " (It is this sort of
talk, and what Sancho says lower down, that made the translator
of the history say he considered this chapter apocryphal. ) "Don't
you see, you animal," continued Sancho, "that it will be well
for me to drop into some profitable government that will lift us
out of the mire, and marry Mari-Sancha to whom I like; and
you yourself will find yourself called 'Doña Teresa Panza,' and
sitting in church on a fine carpet and cushions and draperies, in
spite and in defiance of all the born ladies of the town? No,


## p. 3475 (#453) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3475
stay as you are, growing neither greater nor less, like a tapestry
figure. Let us say no more about it, for Sanchica shall be a
countess, say what you will. "
"Are you sure of all you say, husband? " replied Teresa.
“Well, for all that, I am afraid this rank of countess for my
daughter will be her ruin. You do as you like, make a duchess
or a princess of her, but I can tell you it will not be with my
will and consent. I was always a lover of equality, brother, and
I can't bear to see people give themselves airs without any right.
They called me Teresa at my baptism,-a plain, simple name,
without any additions or tags or fringes of Dons or Doñas; Cas-
cajo was my father's name, and as I am your wife, I am called
Teresa Panza, though by right I ought to be called Teresa Cas-
cajo; but 'kings go where laws like,' and I am content with
this name without having the 'Don' put on top of it to make it
so heavy that I cannot carry it; and I don't want to make people
talk about me when they see me go dressed like a countess or
governor's wife; for they will say at once, 'See what airs the
slut gives herself! Only yesterday she was always spinning flax,
and used to go to mass with the tail of her petticoat over her
head instead of a mantle; and there she goes to-day in a hooped
gown with her brooches and airs, as if we didn't know her! ' If
God keeps me in my seven senses, or five, or whatever number
I have, I am not going to bring myself to such a pass; go you,
brother, and be a government or an island man, and swagger as
much as you like; for by the soul of my mother, neither my
daughter nor I are going to stir a step from our village; a
respectable woman should have a broken leg and keep at home,
and to be busy at something is a virtuous damsel's holiday; be
off to your adventures, along with your Don Quixote, and leave
us to our misadventures, for God will mend them for us accord-
ing as we deserve it. I don't know, I'm sure, who fixed the
'Don' to him, what neither his father nor grandfather ever had. "
"I declare, thou hast a devil of some sort in thy body! " said
Sancho. "God help thee, woman, what a lot of things thou hast
strung together, one after the other, without head or tail! What
have Cascajo, and the brooches and the proverbs and the airs, to
do with what I say? Look here, fool and dolt (for so I may
call you when you don't understand my words and run away
from good fortune), if I had said that my daughter was to throw
herself down from a tower, or go roaming the world, as the


## p. 3476 (#454) ###########################################

3476
CERVANTES
Infanta Doña Urraca wanted to do, you would be right in not
giving way to my will; but if in an instant, in less than the
twinkling of an eye, I put the 'Don' and 'my lady' on her
back, and take her out of the stubble and place her under a
canopy, on a daïs, and on a couch with more velvet cushions
than all the Almohades of Morocco ever had in their family, why
won't you consent and fall in with my wishes? "
"Do you know why, husband? " replied Teresa; "because of
the proverb that says, 'Who covers thee, discovers thee. ' At
the poor man people only throw a hasty glance; on the rich man
they fix their eyes; and if the said rich man was once on a time
poor, it is then there is the sneering and the tattle and spite of
backbiters; and in the streets here they swarm as thick as bees. "
"Look here, Teresa," said Sancho, "and listen to what I am
now going to say to you; maybe you never heard it in all your
life; and I do not give my own notions, for what I am about to
say are the opinions of his Reverence the preacher who preached
in this town last Lent, and who said, if I remember rightly, that
all things present that our eyes behold, bring themselves before
us and remain and fix themselves on our memory much better
and more forcibly than things past. " (These observations which
Sancho makes here are the other ones on account of which the
translator says he regards this chapter as apocryphal, inasmuch
as they are beyond Sancho's capacity. ) "Whence it arises," he
continued, "that when we see any person well dressed and mak-
ing a figure with rich garments and retinue of servants, it seems
to lead and impel us perforce to respect him, though memory
may at the same time recall to us some lowly condition in which
we have seen him, but which, whether it may have been poverty
or low birth, being now a thing of the past has no existence;
while the only thing that has any existence is what we see
before us; and if this person whom fortune has raised from his
original lowly state (these were the very words the padre used)
to his present height of prosperity, be well-bred, generous, court-
eous to all, without seeking to vie with those whose nobility is
of ancient date,-depend upon it, Teresa, no one will remember
what he was, and every one will respect what he is, except
indeed the envious, from whom no fair fortune is safe. ”
"I do not understand you, husband," replied Teresa; "do as
you like, and don't break my head with any more speechifying
and rhetoric; and if you have revolved to do what you say


## p. 3477 (#455) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3477
"Resolved, you should say, woman," said Sancho, "not re-
volved. "
«< Don't set yourself to wrangle with me, husband," said Ter-
esa; "I speak as God pleases, and don't deal in out-of-the-way
phrases; and I say if you are bent upon having a government,
take your son Sancho with you, and teach him from this time on
how to hold a government; for sons ought to inherit and learn
the trades of their fathers. "
"As soon as I have the government," said Sancho, "I will
send for him by post, and I will send thee money, of which I
shall have no lack, for there is never any want of people to lend
it to governors when they have not got it; and do thou dress
him so as to hide what he is and make him look what he is
to be. "
"You send the money," said Teresa, "and I'll dress him up
for you as fine as you please. "
"Then we are agreed that our daughter is to be a countess,"
said Sancho.
"The day that I see her a countess," replied Teresa, "it will
be the same to me as if I was burying her; but once more I say
do as you please, for we women are born to this burden of
being obedient to our husbands, though they be dogs;" and with
this she began to weep in downright earnest, as if she already
saw Sanchica dead and buried.
Sancho consoled her by saying that though he must make
her a countess, he would put it off as long as possible. Here
their conversation came to an end, and Sancho went back to see
Don Quixote and make arrangements for their departure.
OF SANCHO PANZA'S DELECTABLE DISCOURSE WITH THE
DUCHESS
THE
HE history records that Sancho did not sleep that afternoon,
but in order to keep his word, came, before he had well
done dinner, to visit the duchess; who, finding enjoyment.
in listening to him, made him sit down beside her on a low seat,
though Sancho out of pure good breeding wanted not to sit
down; the duchess however told him he was to sit down as gov-
ernor and talk as squire, as in both respects he was worthy
of even the chair of Cid Ruy Diaz the Campeador. Sancho


## p. 3478 (#456) ###########################################

3478
CERVANTES
shrugged his shoulders, obeyed, and sat down, and all the duch-
ess's damsels and duennas gathered round him, waiting in pro-
found silence to hear what he would say. It was the duchess
however who spoke first, saying, "Now that we are alone, and
that there is nobody here to overhear us, I should be glad if the
señor governor would relieve me of certain doubts I have, rising
out of the history of the great Don Quixote that is now in print.
One is: inasmuch as worthy Sancho never saw Dulcinea,—I mean
the lady Dulcinea del Toboso,-nor took Don Quixote's letter to
her, for it was left in the memorandum-book in the Sierra Mo-
rena, how did he dare to invent the answer and all that about
finding her sifting wheat,-the whole story being a deception and
falsehood, and so much to the prejudice of the peerless Dulcinea's
good name; a thing that is not at all becoming the character and
fidelity of a good squire? "
At these words, Sancho, without uttering one in reply, got up
from his chair, and with noiseless steps, with his body bent and
his finger on his lips, went all round the room lifting up the
hangings; and this done, he came back to his seat and said:—
(( Now, señora, that I have seen that there is no one except the
bystanders listening to us on the sly, I will answer what you
have asked me, and all you may ask me, without fear or dread.
And the first thing I have got to say is, that for my own part I
hold my master Don Quixote to be stark mad, though sometimes
he says things that to my mind, and indeed everybody's that
listens to him, are so wise and run in such a straight furrow
that Satan himself could not have said them better; but for all
that, really and beyond all question, it's my firm belief he is
cracked. Well, then, as this is clear to my mind, I can venture
to make him believe things that have neither head nor tail, like
that affair of the answer to the letter, and that other of six or
eight days ago which is not yet in history,- that is to say, the
affair of the enchantment of my lady Dulcinea; for I made him
believe she is enchanted, though there's no more truth in it than
over the hills of Úbeda. »
-
The duchess begged him to tell her about the enchantment or
deception, so Sancho told the whole story exactly as it had hap-
pened, and his hearers were not a little amused by it; and then
resuming, the duchess said: "In consequence of what worthy
Sancho has told me, a doubt starts up in my mind, and there
comes a kind of whisper to my ears that says, 'If Don Quixote


## p. 3479 (#457) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3479
be mad, crazy, cracked, and Sancho his squire knows it, and
notwithstanding serves and follows him, and goes trusting to his
empty promises, there can be no doubt he must be still madder
and sillier than his master; and that being so, it will be cast in
your teeth, señora Duchess, if you give the said Sancho an
island to govern; for how will he who does not know how to
govern himself know how to govern others ? >»
"My God, señora," said Sancho, "but that doubt comes
timely; but your Grace may say it out, and speak plainly, or as
you like; for I know what you say is true, and if I were wise I
should have left my master long ago: but this was my fate, this
was my bad luck; I can't help it, I must follow him; we're from
the same village, I have eaten his bread, I'm fond of him, I'm
grateful, he gave me his ass-colts, and above all I'm faithful; so
it's quite impossible for anything to separate us except the pick-
axe and shovel. And if your Highness does not like to give me
the government you promised, God made me without it, and
maybe your not giving it to me will be all the better for my
conscience; for fool as I am, I know the proverb To her hurt the
ant got wings,' and it may be that Sancho the squire will get to
heaven sooner than Sancho the governor. They make as good
bread here as in France'; and 'By night all cats are gray'; and
'A hard case enough his, who hasn't broken his fast at two in
the afternoon '; and There's no stomach a hand's-breadth bigger
than another'; and the same can be filled with straw or hay,'
as the saying is; and 'The little birds of the field have God for
their purveyor and caterer'; and Four yards of Cuenca frieze
keep one warmer than four of Segovia broadcloth'; and 'When
we quit this world and are put underground, the prince travels
by as narrow a path as the journeyman'; and The Pope's body
does not take up more feet of earth than the sacristan's,' for all
that the one is higher than the other; for when we go to our
graves we all pack ourselves up and make ourselves small, or
rather they pack us up and make us small in spite of us, and
then-good-night to us. And I say once more, if your ladyship.
does not like to give me the island because I'm a fool, like a
wise man I will take care to give myself no trouble about it; I
have heard say that 'Behind the cross there's the devil,' and
that 'All that glitters is not gold,' and that from among the
oxen and the plows and the yokes, Wamba the husbandman
was taken to be made king of Spain; and from among brocades


## p. 3480 (#458) ###########################################

3480
CERVANTES
and pleasures and riches, Roderick was taken to be devoured
by adders, if the verses of the old ballads don't lie. "
"To be sure they don't lie! " exclaimed Doña Rodriguez, the
duenna, who was one of the listeners.
"Why, there's a ballad
that says they put King Rodrigo alive into a tomb full of toads
and adders and lizards, and that two days afterwards the king,
in a plaintive, feeble voice, cried out from within the tomb-
"They gnaw me now, they gnaw me now,
There where I most did sin. '
And according to that, the gentleman has good reason to say he
would rather be a laboring man than a king, if vermin are to
eat him. "
The duchess could not help laughing at the simplicity of her
duenna, or wondering at the language and proverbs of Sancho,
to whom she said: "Worthy Sancho knows very well that when
once a knight has made a promise he strives to keep it, though
it should cost him his life. My lord and husband the duke,
though not one of the errant sort, is none the less a knight for
that reason, and will keep his word about the promised island
in spite of the envy and malice of the world. Let Sancho be of
good cheer; for when he least expects it he will find himself
seated on the throne of his island and seat of dignity, and will
take possession of his government that he may discard it for
another of three-bordered brocade. The charge I give him is, to
be careful how he governs his vassals, bearing in mind that they
are all loyal and well-born. "
-
"As to governing them well," said Sancho, "there's no need
of charging me to do that, for I'm kind-hearted by nature, and
full of compassion for the poor; 'There's no stealing the loaf
from him who kneads and bakes'; and by my faith, it won't do
to throw false dice with me; I am an old dog, and I know all
about 'tus, tus'; I can be wide awake if need be, and I don't
let clouds come before my eyes, for I know where the shoe
pinches me; I say so, because with me the good will have sup-
port and protection, and the bad neither footing nor access.
And it seems to me that in governments, to make a beginning
is everything; and maybe after having been governor a fort-
night, I'll take kindly to the work and know more about it than
the field labor I have been brought up to. "


## p. 3481 (#459) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3481
"You are right, Sancho," said the duchess; "for no one is
born ready taught, and the bishops are made out of men and
not out of stones. But to return to the subject we were discuss-
ing just now, the enchantment of the lady Dulcinea: I look upon
it as certain, and something more than evident, that Sancho's
idea of practicing a deception upon his master, making him
believe that the peasant girl was Dulcinea and that if he did
not recognize her it must be because she was enchanted, was all
a device of one of the enchanters that persecute Don Quixote.
For in truth and earnest, I know from good authority that the
coarse country wench who jumped up on the ass was and is
Dulcinea del Toboso, and that worthy Sancho, though he fancies
himself the deceiver, is the one that is deceived; and that there
is no more reason to doubt the truth of this, than of anything
else we never saw. Señor Sancho Panza must know that we too
have enchanters here, that are well disposed to us, and tell us
what goes on in the world, plainly and distinctly, without sub-
terfuge or deception; and believe me, Sancho, that agile country
lass was and is Dulcinea del Toboso, who is as much enchanted
as the mother that bore her; and when we least expect it, we
shall see her in her own proper form, and then Sancho will be
disabused of the error he is under at present. "
"All that's very possible," said Sancho Panza; "and now I'm
willing to believe what my master says about what he saw in
the cave of Montesinos, where he says he saw the lady Dulcinea
del Toboso in the very same dress and apparel that I said I had
seen her in when I enchanted her all to please myself. It must
be all exactly the other way, as your ladyship says; because it is
impossible to suppose that out of my poor wit such a cunning
trick could be concocted in a moment, nor do I think my master
is so mad that by my weak and feeble persuasion he could be
made to believe a thing so out of all reason. But, señora, your
Excellence must not therefore think me ill-disposed, for a dolt
like me is not bound to see into the thoughts and plots of those
vile enchanters. I invented all that to escape my master's scold-
ing, and not with any intention of hurting him; and if it has
turned out differently, there is a God in heaven who judges our
hearts. "
"That is true," said the duchess; "but tell me, Sancho, what
is this you say about the cave of Montesinos, for I should like
to know. "


## p. 3482 (#460) ###########################################

3482
CERVANTES
Sancho, upon this, related to her word for word what has
been said already touching that adventure; and having heard it,
the duchess said: "From this occurrence it may be inferred
that as the great Don Quixote says he saw there the same coun-
try wench Sancho saw on the way from El Toboso, it is no
doubt Dulcinea, and there are some very active and exceedingly
busy enchanters about. "
"So I say," said Sancho; "and if my lady Dulcinea is en-
chanted, so much the worse for her, and I'm not going to pick a
quarrel with my master's enemies, who seem to be many and
spiteful. The truth is that the one I saw was a country wench,
and I set her down to be a country wench; and if that was
Dulcinea it must not be laid at my door, nor should I be called
to answer for it or take the consequences. But they must go
nagging at me at every step-Sancho said it, Sancho did it;
Sancho here, Sancho there,' as if Sancho was nobody at all, and
not that same Sancho Panza that's now going all over the world
in books, so Samson Carrasco told me, and he's at any rate one
that's a bachelor of Salamanca; and people of that sort can't lie,
except when the whim seizes them or they have some very good
reason for it. So there's no occasion for anybody to quarrel
with me; and then I have a good character, and as I have
heard my master say, 'A good name is better than great riches';
let them only stick me into this government and they'll see won-
ders, for one who has been a good squire will be a good gov
ernor. "
"All worthy Sancho's observations," said the duchess, "are
Catonian sentences, or at any rate out of the very heart of
Michael Verino himself, who florentibus occidit annis. In fact,
to speak in his own style, 'Under a bad cloak there's often a
good drinker. '
>>
"Indeed, señora," said Sancho, "I never yet drank out of
wickedness; from thirst I have, very likely, for I have nothing
of the hypocrite in me; I drink when I'm inclined, or, if I'm
not inclined, when they offer it to me, so as not to look either
strait-laced or ill-bred; for when a friend drinks one's health,
what heart can be so hard as not to return it? But if I put on
my shoes I don't dirty them; besides, squires to knights-errant
mostly drink water, for they are always wandering among woods,
forests, and meadows, mountains and crags, without a drop of
wine to be had if they gave their eyes for it. ”


## p. 3483 (#461) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3483
"So I believe," said the duchess; "and now let Sancho go
and take his sleep, and we will talk by-and-by at greater length,
and settle how he may soon go and stick himself into the gov-
ernment, as he says. "
Sancho once more kissed the duchess's hand, and entreated
her to be so kind as to let good care be taken of his Dapple, for
he was the light of his eyes.
"What is Dapple? " said the duchess.
"My ass," said Sancho, "which, not to mention him by that
name, I'm accustomed to call Dapple; I begged this lady duenna.
here to take care of him when I came into the castle, and she
got as angry as if I had said she was ugly or old, though it
ought to be more natural and proper for duennas to feed asses
than to ornament chambers. God bless me! what a spite a gen-
tleman of my village had against these ladies! "
"He must have been some clown," said Doña Rodriguez, the
duenna; "for if he had been a gentleman and well-born he
would have exalted them higher than the horns of the moon. "
"That will do," said the duchess; "no more of this; hush,
Doña Rodriguez, and let Señor Panza rest easy and leave the
treatment of Dapple in my charge; for as he is a treasure of
Sancho's, I'll put him on the apple of my eye. ”
"It will be enough for him to be in the stable," said Sancho,
"for neither he nor I are worthy to rest a moment in the apple
of your Highness's eye, and I'd as soon stab myself as consent
to it; for though my master says that in civilities it is better to
lose by a card too many than a card too few, when it comes to
civilities to asses we must mind what we are about and keep
within due bounds. "
"Take him to your government, Sancho," said the duchess,
" and there you will be able to make as much of him as you
like, and even release him from work and pension him off. ”
"Don't think, señora duchess, that you have said anything
absurd," said Sancho: "I have seen more than two asses go to
governments, and for me to take mine with me would be noth-
ing new. "
Sancho's words made the duchess laugh again, and gave her
fresh amusement, and dismissing him to sleep she went away
to tell the duke the conversation she had had with him.


## p. 3484 (#462) ###########################################

3484
CERVANTES
SANCHO PANZA AS GOVERNOR
THE
HE history says that from the justice court they carried
Sancho to a sumptuous palace, where in a spacious chamber
there was a table laid out with royal magnificence. The
clarions sounded as Sancho entered the room, and four pages
came forward to present him with water for his hands, which
Sancho received with great dignity. The music ceased, and
Sancho seated himself at the head of the table; for there was
only that seat placed, and no more than the one cover laid. A
personage, who it appeared afterwards was a physician, placed
himself standing by his side, with a whalebone wand in his
hand. They then lifted up a fine white cloth covering fruit and
a great variety of dishes of different sorts; one who looked like
a student said grace, and a page put a laced bib on Sancho,
while another who played the part of head carver placed a dish
of fruit before him. But hardly had he tasted a morsel when
the man with the wand touched the plate with it, and they took
it away from before him with the utmost celerity. The carver
however brought him another dish, and Sancho proceeded to try
it; but before he could get at it, not to say taste it, already the
wand had touched it and a page had carried it off with the
same promptitude as the fruit. Sancho seeing this was puzzled,
and looking from one to another, asked if this dinner was to be
eaten after the fashion of a jugglery trick.
To this he with the wand replied: "It is not to be eaten,
señor governor, except as is usual and customary in other islands
where there are governors. I, señor, am a physician, and I am
paid a salary in this island to serve its governors as such; and I
have a much greater regard for their health than for my own,
studying day and night and making myself acquainted with the
governor's constitution, in order to be able to cure him when he
falls sick. The chief thing I have to do is to attend at his
dinners and suppers, and allow him to eat what appears to me
to be fit for him, and keep from him what I think will do him
harm and be injurious to his stomach: and therefore I ordered
that plate of fruit to be removed as being too moist, and that
other dish I ordered to be removed as being too hot and con-
taining many spices that stimulate thirst; for he who drinks much
kills and consumes the radical moisture wherein life consists. »


## p. 3485 (#463) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3485
"Well then," said Sancho, "that dish of roast partridges there
that seems so savory will not do me any harm. "
To this the physician replied, "Of those my lord the governor
shall not eat so long as I live. "
"Why so? " said Sancho.
"Because," replied the doctor, "our master Hippocrates, the
pole-star and beacon of medicine, says in one of his aphorisms,
Omnis saturatio mala, perdicis autem pessima; which means, 'All
repletion is bad, but that of partridge is the worst of all. »
"In that case," said Sancho, "let señor doctor see among the
dishes that are on the table what will do me most good and
least harm, and let me eat it, without tapping it with his stick:
for by the life of the governor, and so may God suffer me to
enjoy it, but I'm dying of hunger; and in spite of the doctor
and all he may say, to deny me food is the way to take my life
instead of prolonging it. "
"Your worship is right, señor governor," said the physician;
"and therefore your worship, I consider, should not eat of those
stewed rabbits there, because it is a furry kind of food: if that
veal were not roasted and served with pickles, you might try it;
but it is out of the question.
"That big dish that is smoking farther off," said Sancho,
<< seems to me to be an olla-podrida; and out of the diversity of
things in such ollas, I can't fail to light upon something tasty
and good for me. "
"Absit," said the doctor; "far from us be any such base
thought! There is nothing in the world less nourishing than
an olla-podrida; to canons, or rectors of colleges, or peasants'
weddings with your ollas-podridas, but let us have none of them
on the tables of governors, where everything that is present
should be delicate and refined: and the reason is that always,
everywhere and by everybody, simple medicines are more
esteemed than compound ones; for we cannot go wrong in those
that are simple, while in the compound we may, by merely
altering the quantity of the things composing them. But what I
am of opinion the governor should eat now, in order to preserve
and fortify his health, is a hundred or so of wafer cakes and a
few thin slices of conserve of quinces, which will settle his
stomach and help his digestion. "
Sancho on hearing this threw himself back in his chair and
surveyed the doctor steadily, and in a solemn tone asked him
what his name was and where he had studied.


## p. 3486 (#464) ###########################################

3486
CERVANTES
He replied, "My name, señor governor, is Doctor Pedro Recio
de Aguero; I am a native of a place called Tirteafuera, which
lies between Caracuel and Almodóvar del Campo, on the right-
hand side; and I have the degree of doctor from the university
of Osuna. "
To which Sancho, glowing all over with rage, returned,
"Then let Doctor Pedro Recio de Mal-aguero, native of Tirtea-
fuera, a place that's on the right-hand side as we go from
Caracuel to Almodóvar del Campo, graduate of Osuna, get out
of my presence at once! or I swear by the sun I'll take a
cudgel, and by dint of blows, beginning with hi. , I'll not leave
a doctor in the whole island: at least of those I know to be
ignorant; for as to learned, wise, sensible physicians, them I will
reverence and honor as divine persons. Once more I say, let
Pedro Recio get out this, or I'll take this chair I am sitting on
and break it over his head. And if they call me to account for
it, I'll clear myself by saying I served God in killing a bad
doctora general executioner. And now give me something to
eat, or else take your government; for a trade that does not feed
its master is not worth two beans.
SAN
ANCHO, fool, boor, and clown as he was, held his own against
them all, saying to those round him, and to Doctor Pedro
Recio, who as soon as the private business of the duke's
letter was disposed of had returned to the room:-"Now I see
plainly enough that judges and governors ought to be and must
be made of brass, not to feel the importunities of the applicants
that at all times and all seasons insist on being heard and hav-
ing their business dispatched, and their own affairs and no others
attended to, come what may; and if the poor judge does not
hear them and settle the matter,- either because he cannot or
because that is not the time set apart for hearing them, — forth-
with they abuse him, run him down, and gnaw at his bones, and
even pick holes in his pedigree. You silly stupid applicant, don't
be in a hurry; wait for the proper time and season for doing
business; don't come at dinner-hour or at bedtime: for judges are
only flesh and blood, and must give to Nature what she naturally
demands of them; all except myself, for in my case I give her
nothing to eat, thanks to Señor Doctor Pedro Recio Tirteafuera
here, who would have me die of hunger, and declares that death
to be life; and the same sort of life may God give him and all


## p. 3487 (#465) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3487
his kind- I mean the bad doctors; for the good ones deserve
palms and laurels. "
All who knew Sancho Panza were astonished to hear him
speak so elegantly, and did not know what to attribute it to,
unless it were that office and grave responsibility either smarten
or stupefy men's wits. At last Doctor Pedro Recio Aguero of
Tirteafuera promised to let him have supper that night, though
it might be in contravention of all the aphorisms of Hippocrates.
With this the governor was satisfied, and looked forward to the
approach of night and supper-time with great anxiety; and
though time to his mind stood still and made no progress,
nevertheless the hour he so longed for came, and they gave him
a beef salad with onions, and some boiled calves' feet rather far
gone.
At this he fell to with greater relish than if they had given
him francolins from Milan, pheasants from Rome, veal from
Sorrento, partridges from Moron, or geese from Lavajos; and
turning to the doctor at supper he said to him:-"Look here,
señor doctor, for the future don't trouble yourself about giv-
ing me dainty things or choice dishes to eat, for it will be
only taking my stomach off its hinges: it is accustomed to goat,
cow, bacon, hung beef, turnips and onions; and if by any chance
it is given these palace dishes, it receives them squeamishly, and
sometimes with loathing. What the head carver had best do is
to serve me with what they call ollas-podridas (and the rottener
they are the better they smell); and he can put whatever he
likes into them, so long as it is good to eat, and I'll be obliged
to him, and will requite him some day. But let nobody play
pranks on me, for either we are or we are not; let us live and
eat in peace and good-fellowship; for when God sends the dawn,
he sends it for all. I mean to govern this island without giving
up a right or taking a bribe: let every one keep his eye open and
look out for the arrow; for I can tell them 'the Devil's in Cantil-
Iana,' and if they drive me to it they'll see something that will
astonish them. Nay! make yourself honey and the flies will eat
you. "
"Of a truth, señor governor," said the carver, "your worship
is in the right of it in everything you have said; and I promise
you in the name of all the inhabitants of this island that they
will serve your worship with all zeal, affection, and good-will, for
the mild kind of government you have given a sample of to


## p. 3488 (#466) ###########################################

3488
CERVANTES
begin with, leaves them no ground for doing or thinking any.
thing to your worship's disadvantage. "
"That I believe," said Sancho; "and they would be great
fools if they did or thought otherwise: once more I say, see to
my feeding and my Dapple's, for that is the great point and
what is most to the purpose; and when the hour comes let us
go the rounds: for it is my intention to purge this island of all
manner of uncleanness and of all idle good-for-nothing vagabonds;
for I would have you know, my friends, that lazy idlers are the
same thing in a State as the drones in a hive, and eat up the
honey the industrious bees make. I mean to protect the hus-
bandman, to preserve to the gentleman his privileges, to reward
the virtuous, and above all to respect religion and honor its min-
isters. What say you to that, my friends? Is there anything in
what I say, or am I talking to no purpose?
>>>
"There is so much in what your worship says, señor gov-
ernor," said the major-domo, "that I am filled with wonder when
I see a man like your worship, entirely without learning (for
believe you have none at all), say such things, and so full of
sound maxims and sage remarks, very different from what was
expected of your worship's intelligence by those who sent us or
by us who came here. Every day we see something new in this
world; jokes become realities, and the jokers find the tables
turned upon them. "
D₁
AY came after the night of the governor's round: a night
which the head carver passed without sleeping, so full
were his thoughts of the face and air and beauty of the
disguised damsel, while the major-domo spent what was left of it
in writing an account to his lord and lady of all Sancho said
and did, being as much amazed at his sayings as at his doings;
for there was a mixture of shrewdness and simplicity in all his
words and deeds. The señor governor got up, and by Doctor
Pedro Recio's directions they made him break his fast on a little
conserve and four sups of cold water, which Sancho would have
readily exchanged for a piece of bread and a bunch of grapes:
but seeing there was no help for it, he submitted with no little
sorrow of heart and discomfort of stomach; Pedro Recio having
persuaded him that light and delicate diet enlivened the wits,
and that was what was most essential for persons placed in


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CERVANTES
3489
•
command and in responsible situations, where they have to
employ not only the bodily powers but those of the mind also.
By means of this sophistry Sancho was made to endure
hunger, and hunger so keen that in his heart he cursed the
government and even him who had given it to him. However,
with his hunger and his conserve he undertook to deliver judg-
ments that day; and the first thing that came before him was a
question that was submitted to him by a stranger in the
presence of the major-domo and the other attendants, and it was
in these words:- "Señor, a large river separated two districts of
one and the same lordship-will your worship please to pay
attention? for the case is an important and a rather knotty one.
Well then, on this river there was a bridge, and at one end of
it a gallows, and a sort of tribunal, where four judges commonly
sat to administer the law which the lord of the river bridge and
the lordship had enacted, and which was to this effect: 'If any
one crosses by this bridge from one side to the other, he shall
declare on oath where he is going and with what object; and if
he swears truly, he shall be allowed to pass; but if falsely, he shall
be put to death for it by hanging on the gallows erected there,
without any remission. ' Though the law and its severe penalty
were known, many persons crossed; but in their declarations it
was easy to see at once they were telling the truth, and the
judges let them pass free. It happened however that one man,
when they came to take his declaration, swore and said that by
the oath he took, he was going to die upon that gallows that
stood there, and nothing else. The judges held a consultation
over the oath, and they said: 'If we let this man pass free,
he has sworn falsely, and by the law he ought to die; but if we
hang him, as he swore he was going to die on that gallows, and
therefore swore the truth, by the same law he ought to go free. '
It is asked of your lordship, señor governor, what are the judges
to do with this man? For they are still in doubt and perplexity;
and having heard of your worship's acute and exalted intellect,
they have sent me to entreat your worship on their behalf to
give your opinion on this very intricate and puzzling case. "
To this Sancho made answer:-"Indeed, those gentlemen the
judges that send you to me might have spared themselves the
trouble, for I have more of the obtuse than the acute in me;
however, repeat the case over again so that I may understand
it, and then perhaps I may be able to hit the point. "
VI-219


## p. 3490 (#468) ###########################################

3490
CERVANTES
The querist repeated again and again what he had said
before, and then Sancho said: "It seems to me I can set the
matter right in a moment, and in this way: the man swears
that he is going to die upon the gallows; but if he dies upon
it, he has sworn the truth, and by the law enacted deserves to
go free and pass over the bridge; but if they don't hang him,
then he has sworn falsely, and by the same law deserves to be
hanged. "
"It is as the señor governor says," said the messenger;
"and as regards a complete comprehension of the case, there is
nothing left to desire or hesitate about. "
"Well then, I say," said Sancho, "that of this man they
should let pass the part that has sworn truly, and hang the
part that has lied; and in this way the conditions of the
passage will be fully complied with. "
"But then, señor governor," replied the querist, "the man
will have to be divided into two parts; and if he is divided, of
course he will die; and so none of the requirements of the law
will be carried out, and it is absolutely necessary to comply
with it. "
"Look here, my good sir," said Sancho; "either I'm a
numskull or else there is the same reason for this passenger
dying as for his living and passing over the bridge; for if the
truth saves him, the falsehood equally condemns him; and that
being the case, it is my opinion you should say to the gentle-
men who sent you to me, that as the arguments for condemning
him and for absolving him are exactly balanced, they should
let him pass freely, as it is always more praiseworthy to do
good than to do evil; this I would give signed with my name
if I knew how to sign; and what I have said in this case is
not out of my own head, but one of the many precepts my
master Don Quixote gave me the night before I left to become
governor of this island, that came into my mind, and it was
this: that when there was any doubt about the justice of a case
I should lean to mercy; and it is God's will that I should
recollect it now, for it fits this case as if it was made for it. ”
"That is true," said the major-domo; "and I maintain that
Lycurgus himself, who gave laws to the Lacedæmonians, could
not have pronounced a better decision than the great Panza has
given; let the morning's audience close with this, and I will see
that the señor governor has dinner entirely to his liking. "


## p. 3491 (#469) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3491
"That's all I ask for -fair play," said Sancho; "give me
my dinner, and then let it rain cases and questions on me, and
I'll dispatch them in a twinkling. "
The major-domo kept his word, for he felt it against his
conscience to kill so wise a governor by hunger; particularly as
he intended to have done with him that same night, playing off
the last joke he was commissioned to practice upon him.
It came to pass then, that after he had dined that day in
opposition to the rules and aphorisms of Doctor Tirteafuera, as
they were taking away the cloth there came a courier with a
letter from Don Quixote for the governor. Sancho ordered the
secretary to read it to himself, and if there was nothing in it
that demanded secrecy, to read it aloud. The secretary did so,
and after he had skimmed the contents he said, "It may well be
read aloud, for what Señor Don Quixote writes to your worship
deserves to be printed or written in letters of gold, and it is as
follows. "
DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA'S LETTER TO SANCHO PANZA, Gov-
ERNOR OF THE ISLAND OF BARATARIA
"When I was expecting to hear of thy stupidities and blun-
ders, friend Sancho, I have received intelligence of thy displays of
good sense; for which I give special thanks to Heaven, that can
raise the poor from the dunghill and of fools to make wise men.
They tell me thou dost govern as if thou wert a man, and art a
man as if thou wert a beast, so great is the humility wherewith
thou dost comport thyself. But I would have thee bear in mind,
Sancho, that very often it is fitting and necessary for the
authority of office to resist the humility of the heart; for the
seemly array of one who is invested with grave duties should be
such as they require, and not measured by what his own humble
tastes may lead him to prefer. Dress well; a stick dressed up
does not look like a stick: I do not say thou shouldst wear
trinkets or fine raiment, or that being a judge thou shouldst
dress like a soldier, but that thou shouldst array thyself in the
apparel thy office requires, and that at the same time it be neat
and handsome. To win the good-will of the people thou
governest, there are two things among others that thou must do:
one is to be civil to all (this however I told thee before), and
the other to take care that food be abundant; for there is


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CERVANTES
3492
nothing that vexes the heart of the poor more than hunger and
high prices. Make not many proclamations; but those thou
makest take care that they be good ones, and above all that they
be observed and carried out: for proclamations that are
observed are the same as if they did not exist; nay, they
encourage the idea that the prince who had the wisdom and
authority to make them had not the power to enforce them; and
laws that threaten and are not enforced come to be like the log,
the king of the frogs, that frightened them at first, but that in
time they despised and mounted upon. Be a father to virtue
and a stepfather to vice. Be not always strict, nor yet always
lenient, but observe a mean between these two extremes, for in
that is the aim of wisdom. Visit the jails, the slaughter-houses,
and the market-places; for the presence of the governor is of
great importance in such places: it comforts the prisoners who
are in hopes of a speedy release; it is the bugbear of the
butchers, who have then to give just weight; and it is the terror
of the market-women for the same reason. Let it not be seen
that thou art (even if perchance thou art, which I do not
believe) covetous, a follower of women, or a glutton; for when
the people and those that have dealings with thee become aware
of thy special weakness they will bring their batteries to bear
upon thee in that quarter, till they have brought thee down to
the depths of perdition. Consider and reconsider, con and con
over again the advice and the instructions I gave thee before thy
departure hence to thy government, and thou wilt see that in
them, if thou dost follow them, thou hast a help at hand that
will lighten for thee the troubles and difficulties that beset
governors at every step. Write to thy lord and lady, and show
thyself grateful to them: for ingratitude is the daughter of pride,
and one of the greatest sins we know of; and he who is grateful
to those who have been good to him shows that he will be so to
God also, who has bestowed and still bestows so many blessings
upon him.
"My lady the duchess sent off a messenger with thy suit and
another present to thy wife Teresa Panza; we expect the answer
every moment. I have been a little indisposed through a certain
scratching I came in for, not very much to the benefit of my
nose: but it was nothing; for if there are enchanters who
maltreat me, there are also some who defend me. Let me know
if the major-domo who is with thee had any share in the Trifaldi


## p. 3493 (#471) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3493
performance, as thou didst suspect: and keep me informed of
everything that happens thee, as the distance is so short; all
the more as I am thinking of giving over very shortly this idle
life I am now leading, for I was not born for it. A thing has
occurred to me which I am inclined to think will put me out of
favor with the duke and duchess; but though I am sorry for it,
I do not care, for after all I must obey my calling rather than
their pleasure, in accordance with the common saying, Amicus
Plato, sed magis amica veritas. I quote this Latin to thee
because I conclude that since thou hast been a governor thou
wilt have learned it. Adieu; God keep thee from being an
object of pity to any one.
"Thy friend
"DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA. "
Sancho listened to the letter with great attention, and it was
praised and considered wise by all who heard it: he then rose
up from table, and calling his secretary, shut himself in with him
in his own room, and without putting it off any longer set about
answering his master Don Quixote at once; and he bade the
secretary write down what he told him, without adding or sup-
pressing anything, which he did; and the answer was to the
following effect.
SANCHO PANZA'S LETTER TO DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA
"The pressure of business is so great upon me that I have
no time to scratch my head or even to cut my nails; and I have
them so long-God send a remedy for it. I say this, master of
my soul, that you may not be surprised if I have not until now
sent you word of how I fare, well or ill, in this government, in
which I am suffering more hunger than when we two were
wandering through the woods and wastes.
"My lord the duke wrote to me the other day to warn me
that certain spies had got into this island to kill me: but up to
the present I have not found out any except a certain doctor
who receives a salary in this town for killing all the governors
that come here; he is called Doctor Pedro Recio, and is from
Tirteafuera; so you see what a name he has to make me dread
dying under his hands. This doctor says of himself that he does
not cure diseases when there are any, but prevents them coming,


## p. 3494 (#472) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3494
and the medicines he uses are diet and more diet, until he
brings one down to bare bones; as if leanness was not worse
than fever.
"In short, he is killing me with hunger, and I am dying
myself of vexation: for when I thought I was coming to this
government to get my meat hot and my drink cool, and take my
ease between holland sheets on feather-beds, I find I have come
to do penance as if I was a hermit; and as I don't do it will-
ingly, I suspect that in the end the Devil will carry me off.
"So far I have not handled any dues or taken any bribes,
and I don't know what to think of it: for here they tell me that
the governors that come to this island, before entering it, have
plenty of money either given to them or lent to them by the
people of the town; and that this is the usual custom, not only
here but with all who enter upon governments.
"Last night going the rounds I came upon a fair damsel in
man's clothes, and a brother of hers dressed as a woman: my
head carver has fallen in love with the girl, and has in his own
mind chosen her for a wife, so he says, and I have chosen the
youth for a son-in-law; to-day we are going to explain our
intentions to the father of the pair, who is one Diego de la
Llana, a gentleman and an old Christian as much as you please.
"I have visited the market-places, as your worship advises
me, and yesterday I found a stall-keeper selling new hazel-nuts,
and proved her to have mixed a bushel of old empty rotten nuts
with a bushel of new; I confiscated the whole for the children
of the charity school, who will know how to distinguish them
well enough, and I sentenced her not to come into the market-
place for a fortnight: they told me I did bravely. I can tell
your worship it is commonly said in this town that there are no
people worse than the market-women, for they are all barefaced,
unconscionable, and impudent; and I can well believe it from
what I have seen of them in other towns.
"I am very glad my lady the duchess has written to my wife
Teresa Panza and sent her the present your worship speaks of;
and I will try to show myself grateful when the time comes:
kiss her hands for me, and tell her I say she has not thrown it
into a sack with a hole in it, as she will see in the end. I
should not like your worship to have any difference with my lord
and lady; for if you fall out with them it is plain it must do me
harm; and as you give me advice to be grateful, it will not do


## p. 3495 (#473) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3495
for your worship not to be so yourself to those who have shown.
you such kindness, and by whom you have been treated so
hospitably in their castle.
"That about the scratching I don't understand; but I suppose
it must be one of the ill turns the wicked enchanters are always
doing your worship; when we meet I shall know all about it. I
wish I could send your worship something; but I don't know
what to send, unless it be some very curious clyster pipes to
work with bladders, that they make in this island; but if the
office remains with me I'll find out something to send, one way
or another. If my wife Teresa Panza writes to me, pay the
postage and send me the letter, for I have a very great desire to
hear how my house and wife and children are going on. And
so, may God deliver your worship from evil-minded enchanters,
and bring me well and peacefully out of this government; which
I doubt, for I expect to take leave of it and my life together,
from the way Doctor Pedro Recio treats me.
"Your worship's servant,
"SANCHO PANZA THE GOVERNOR. "
The secretary sealed the letter and immediately dismissed the
courier; and those who were carrying on the joke against Sancho,
putting their heads together, arranged how he was to be dis-
missed from the government. Sancho spent the afternoon in
drawing up certain ordinances relating to the good government
of what he fancied the island.
He reduced the prices
of shoes, boots, and stockings, but of shoes in particular, as
they seemed to him to run extravagantly high. He estab-
lished a fixed rate for servants' wages, which were becoming
recklessly exorbitant. He laid extremely heavy penalties upon
those who sang lewd or loose songs either by day or night. He
decreed that no blind man should sing of any miracle in verse
unless he could produce authentic evidence that it was true; for
it was his opinion that most of those the blind men sing are
trumped up, to the detriment of the true ones. He established
and created an alguacil of the poor, not to harass them, but to
examine them and see whether they really were so; for many a
sturdy thief or drunkard goes about under cover of a make-
believe crippled limb or a sham sore. In a word, he made so
many good rules that to this day they are preserved there, and
are called The constitutions of the great governor Sancho Panza.
•
·


## p. 3496 (#474) ###########################################

3496
CERVANTES
THE ENDING OF ALL DON QUIXOTE'S ADVENTURES
OF HOW DON QUIXOTE FELL SICK, AND OF THE WILL HE MADE,
AND HOW HE DIED
A$
S NOTHING that is man's can last forever, but all tends ever
downwards from its beginning to its end, and above all,
man's life; and as Don Quixote's enjoyed no special dispen-
sation from Heaven to stay its course,- its end and close came
when he least looked for it. For whether it was of the dejec-
tion the thought of his defeat produced, or of Heaven's will that
so ordered it-a fever settled upon him and kept him in his bed
for six days, during which he was often visited by his friends
the curate, the bachelor, and the barber, while his good squire
Sancho Panza never quitted his bedside. They, persuaded that
it was grief at finding himself vanquished, and the object of his
heart, the liberation and disenchantment of Dulcinea, unattained,
that kept him in this state, strove by all the means in their
power to cheer him up: the bachelor bidding him take heart and
get up to begin his pastoral life; for which he himself, he said,
had already composed an eclogue that would take the shine out
of all Sannazaro* had ever written, and had bought with his own
money two famous dogs to guard the flock, one called Barcino
and the other Butron, which a herdsman of Quintanar had sold
him.
-
But for all this Don Quixote could not shake off his sadness.
His friends called in the doctor, who felt his pulse and was not
very well satisfied with it, and said that in any case it would be
well for him to attend to the health of his soul, as that of his
body was in a bad way. Don Quixote heard this calmly; but
not so his housekeeper, his niece, and his squire, who fell weeping
bitterly, as if they had him lying dead before them. The doc-
tor's opinion was that melancholy and depression were bringing
him to his end. Don Quixote begged them to leave him to him-
self, as he had a wish to sleep a little. They obeyed, and he
slept at one stretch, as the saying is, more than six hours, so
that the housekeeper and niece thought he was going to sleep
forever. But at the end of that time he woke up, and in a loud
voice exclaimed, "Blessed be Almighty God, who has shown me
* Jacopo Sannazaro, the Neapolitan poet, author of the Arcadia. )


## p. 3497 (#475) ###########################################

CERVANTES
3497
such goodness! In truth his mercies are boundless, and the sins.
of men can neither limit them nor keep them back! "
The niece listened with attention to her uncle's words, and
they struck her as more coherent than what usually fell from him,
at least during his illness, so she asked: "What are you saying,
Has anything strange occurred? What mercies or what
sins of men are you talking of? "
"The mercies, niece," said Don Quixote, "are those that God
has this moment shown me, and with him, as I said, my sins are
no impediment to them. My reason is now free and clear, rid of
the dark shadows of ignorance that my unhappy constant study
of those detestable books of chivalry cast over it. Now I see
through their absurdities and deceptions, and it only grieves me
that this destruction of my illusions has come so late that it
leaves me no time to make some amends by reading other books
that might be a light to my soul. Niece, I feel myself at the
point of death, and I would fain meet it in such a way as to
show that my life has not been so ill that I should leave behind
me the name of a madman; for though I have been one, I would
not that the fact should be made plainer at my death. Call in to
me, my dear, my good friends the curate, the bachelor Samson
Carrasco, and Master Nicholas the barber, for I wish to confess
and make my will. "
But his niece was saved the trouble by the entrance of the
three. The instant Don Quixote saw them he exclaimed:-" Good
news for you, good sirs, that I am no longer Don Quixote of
La Mancha, but Alonso Quixano, whose way of life won for him
the name of Good. Now am I the enemy of Amadis of Gaul
and of the whole countless troop of his descendants; odious to
me now are all the profane stories of knight-errantry; now
I perceive my folly, and the peril into which reading them
brought me; now, by God's mercy schooled into my right senses,
I loathe them. "
When the three heard him speak in this way, they had no
doubt whatever that some new craze had taken possession of
him; and said Samson, "What! Señor Don Quixote! Now that
we have intelligence of the lady Dulcinea being disenchanted,
are you taking this line? now, just as we are on the point of
becoming shepherds, to pass our lives singing, like princes, are
you thinking of turning hermit?