He might have passed for a
gentleman
at
once easy and cunning in the law; his sole knowledge, that
of labyrinthine sentences made expressly to wind poor common-
sense on parchment.
once easy and cunning in the law; his sole knowledge, that
of labyrinthine sentences made expressly to wind poor common-
sense on parchment.
Warner - World's Best Literature - v14 - Ibn to Juv
They
only propose to put the Greeks under other masters; to substi-
tute one set of barbarians for another.
Colonel Humphreys having satisfied you that all attempts
would be fruitless here to obtain money or other advantages for
your college, I need add nothing on that head. It is a method
of supporting colleges of which they have no idea, though they
practice it for the support of their lazy monkish institutions.
I have the honor to be, with the highest respect and esteem,
Sir, your most obedient and most humble servant.
## p. 8252 (#452) ###########################################
8252
THOMAS JEFFERSON
LETTER TO JAMES MADISON
Y
M
PARIS, December 20th, 1787.
Dear Sir:
LAST to you was of October the 8th, by the Count de
Moustier. Yours of July the 18th, September the 6th, and
October the 24th were successively received yesterday, the
day before, and three or four days before that. I have only had
time to read the letters; the printed papers communicated with
them, however interesting, being obliged to lie over till I finish
my dispatches for the packet, which dispatches must go from
hence the day after to-morrow. I have much to thank you for;
first and most for the cyphered paragraph respecting myself.
These little informations are very material towards forming my
own decisions. I would be glad even to know when any indi-
vidual member thinks I have gone wrong in any instance. If I
know myself, it would not excite ill blood in me; while it would
assist to guide my conduct, perhaps to justify it, and to keep me
to my duty, alert. I must thank you, too, for the information in
Thomas Burke's case; though you will have found by a subse-
quent letter that I have asked of you a further investigation of
that matter. It is to gratify the lady who is at the head of the
convent wherein my daughters are, and who, by her attachment
and attention to them, lays me under great obligations. I shall
hope, therefore, still to receive from you the result of all the
further inquiries my second letter had asked. The parcel of rice
which you informed me had miscarried, accompanied my letter
to the Delegates of South Carolina. Mr. Bourgoin was to be the
bearer of both; and both were delivered into the hands of his
relation here, who introduced him to me, and who, at a subse-
quent moment, undertook to convey them to Mr. Bourgoin. This
person was an engraver, particularly recommended to Dr. Frank-
lin and Mr. Hopkinson. Perhaps he may have mislaid the little
parcel of rice among his baggage. I am much pleased that the
sale of western lands is so successful. I hope they will absorb
all the certificates of our domestic debt speedily, in the first
place; and that then, offered for cash, they will do the same by
our foreign ones.
The seasons admitting only of operations in the cabinet,
and these being in a great measure secret, I have little to fill a
## p. 8253 (#453) ###########################################
THOMAS JEFFERSON
8253
letter. I will therefore make up the deficiency by adding a few
words on the constitution proposed by our convention.
I like much the general idea of framing a government which
should go on of itself, peaceably, without needing continual recur-
rence to the State legislatures. I like the organization of the
government into legislative, judiciary, and executive. I like the
power given the legislature to levy taxes; and for that reason
solely, I approve of the greater House being chosen by the
people directly. For though I think a House so chosen will be
very far inferior to the present Congress, will be very illy quali-
fied to legislate for the Union, for foreign nations, &c. , yet this
evil does not weigh against the good, of preserving inviolate the
fundamental principle that the people are not to be taxed but
by representatives chosen immediately by themselves.
tivated by the compromise of the opposite claims of the great
and little States, of the latter to equal, and the former to pro-
portional influence. I am much pleased, too, with the substitution
of voting by person, instead of that of voting by States; and I
like the negative given to the Executive, conjointly with a third
of either House; though I should have liked it better, had the
judiciary been associated for that purpose, or vested separately
with a similar power. There are other good things of less mo-
ment.
I will now tell you what I do not like. First, the omis-
sion of a bill of rights, providing clearly, and without the aid of
sophism, for freedom of religion, freedom of the press, protection
against standing armies, restriction of monopolies, the eternal and
unremitting force of the habeas corpus laws, and trials by jury
in all matters of fact triable by the laws of the land and not by
the laws of nations. To say, as Mr. Wilson does, that a bill of
rights was not necessary, because all is reserved in the case of
the general government which is not given, while in the particu-
lar ones all is given which is not reserved, might do for the
audience to which it was addressed: but it is surely a gratis dic-
tum, the reverse of which might just as well be said; and it is
opposed by strong inferences from the body of the instrument, as
well as from the omission of the clause of our present Confedera-
tion which has made the reservation in express terms.
It was
hard to conclude, because there has been a want of uniformity
among the States as to the cases of trial by jury, because some
have been so incautious as to dispense with this mode of trial in
## p. 8254 (#454) ###########################################
8254
THOMAS JEFFERSON
certain cases, therefore the more prudent States shall be reduced
to the same level of calamity. It would have been much more
just and wise to have concluded the other way; that as most of
the States' had preserved with jealousy this sacred palladium of
liberty, those who had wandered should be brought back to it:
and to have established general right rather than general wrong.
For I consider all the ill as established which may be established.
I have a right to nothing which another has a right to take
away; and Congress will have a right to take away trials by jury
in all civil cases. Let me add, that a bill of rights is what the
people are entitled to against every government on earth, general
or particular; and what no just government should refuse, or rest
on inference.
The second feature I dislike, and strongly dislike, is the aban-
donment in every instance of the principle of rotation in office,
and most particularly in the case of the President. Reason and
experience tell us that the first magistrate will always be re-
elected if he may be re-elected. He is then an officer for life.
This once observed, it becomes of so much consequence to cer-
tain nations to have a friend or a foe at the head of our affairs,
that they will interfere with money and with arms. A Galloman
or an Angloman will be supported by the nation he befriends.
If once elected, and at a second or third election outvoted by
one or two votes, he will pretend false votes, foul play, hold pos-
session of the reins of government, be supported by the States
voting for him, - especially if they be the central ones, lying
in a compact body themselves and separating their opponents;
and they will be aided by one nation in Europe while the
majority are aided by another. The election of a President of
America, some years hence, will be much more interesting to
certain nations of Europe than ever the election of a king of
Poland was. Reflect on all the instances in history, ancient and
modern, of elective monarchies, and say if they do not give
foundation for my fears; the Roman emperors, the popes while
they were of any importance, the German emperors till they
became hereditary in practice, the kings of Poland, the deys of
the Ottoman dependencies. It may be said that if elections
are to be attended with these disorders, the less frequently they
are repeated the better. But experience says, that to free them
from disorder they must be rendered less interesting by a neces-
sity of change. No foreign power, no domestic party, will waste
## p. 8255 (#455) ###########################################
THOMAS JEFFERSON
8255
their blood and money to elect a person who must go out at
the end of a short period. The power of removing every fourth
year by the vote of the people is a power which they will not
exercise; and if they are disposed to exercise it, they would not
be permitted. The king of Poland is removable every day by
the Diet. But they never remove him. Nor would Russia, the
Emperor, etc. , permit them to do it. Smaller objections are,
the appeals on matters of fact as well as laws; and the binding
all persons, legislative, executive, and judiciary, by oath, to main-
tain that Constitution. I do not pretend to decide what would
be the best method of procuring the establishment of the mani-
fold good things in this Constitution, and of getting rid of the
bad. Whether by adopting it, in hopes of future amendment; or
after it shall have been duly weighed and canvassed by the peo-
ple, after seeing the parts they generally dislike, and those they
generally approve, to say to them, “We see now what you
wish. You are willing to give to your federal government such-
and-such powers; but you wish at the same time to have such-
and-such fundamental rights secured to you, and certain sources
of convulsion taken away.
Be it so. Send together deputies
again. Let them establish your fundamental rights by a sacro-
sanct declaration, and let them pass the parts of the Constitution
you have approved. These will give powers to your federal gov-
ernment sufficient for your happiness. ”
This is what might be said, and would probably produce a
speedy, more perfect, and more permanent form of government.
At all events, I hope you will not be discouraged from making
other trials, if the present one should fail. We are never per-
mitted to despair of the commonwealth. I have thus told you
freely what I like, and what I dislike, merely as a matter of curi-
osity; for I know it is not in my power to offer matter of infor-
mation to your judgment, which has been formed after hearing
and weighing everything which the wisdom of man could offer
on these subjects. I own, I am not a friend to a very energetic
government. It is always oppressive. It places the governors
indeed more at their ease, at the expense of the people. The late
rebellion in Massachusetts has given more alarm than I think it
should have done. Calculate that one rebellion in thirteen States
in the course of eleven years is but one for each State in a cen-
tury and a half. No country should be so long without one. Nor
will any degree of power in the hands of government prevent
## p. 8256 (#456) ###########################################
8256
THOMAS JEFFERSON
And say
insurrections. In England, where the hand of power is heavier
than with us, there are seldom half a dozen years without an in-
surrection. In France, where it is still heavier, but less despotic
as Montesquieu supposes than in some other countries, and where
there are always two or three hundred thousand men ready to
crush insurrections, there have been three in the course of the
three years I have been here, in every one of which greater num-
bers were engaged than in Massachusetts, and a great deal more
blood was spilt. In Turkey, where the sole nod of the despot is
death, insurrections are the events of every day. Compare again
the ferocious depredations of their insurgents with the order, the
moderation, and the almost self-extinguishment of ours.
finally whether peace is best preserved by giving energy to the
government, or information to the people. This last is the most
certain and the most legitimate engine of government. Educate
and inform the whole mass of the people. Enable them to see
that it is their interest to preserve peace and order, and they
will preserve them. And it requires no very high degree of edu-
cation to convince them of this. They are the only sure reliance
for the preservation of our liberty. After all, it is my principle
that the will of the majority should prevail. If they approve the
proposed Constitution in all its parts, I shall concur in it cheer-
fully, in hopes they will amend it whenever they shall find it
works wrong
This reliance cannot deceive us as long as
remain virtuous; and I think we shall be so as long as agricult-
ure is our principal object, which will be the case while there
remain vacant lands in any part of America. When we get piled
upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become
corrupt as in Europe, and go to eating one another as they do
there. I have tired you by this time with disquisitions which you
have already heard repeated by others a thousand and a thou-
sand times; and therefore shall only add assurances of the esteem
and attachment with which I have the honor to be, dear sir,
your affectionate friend and servant.
P. S. -The instability of our laws is really an immense evil.
I think it would be well to provide in our constitutions, that
there shall always be a twelvemonth between the engrossing a
bill and passing it; that it should then be offered to its passage
without changing a word; and that if circumstances should be
thought to require a speedier passage, it should take two-thirds of
both Houses, instead of a bare majority.
we
-
## p. 8257 (#457) ###########################################
8257
DOUGLAS JERROLD
(1803-1857)
HERE is a winning quality in Douglas Jerrold, whether as man
or writer. Popularly known as a brilliant wit, and often
regarded as a cynical one, he was a manly and big-hearted
moralist, a hater of sham, a lover of lovely things,- one who did
good while he gave pleasure.
He was born in London January 30, 1803;, his father, Samuel Jer-
rold, being actor and theatre lessee of the not too successful kind.
Douglas William (the son's full name) had no regular education: he
learned to read and write from a member of a theatrical company,
and being of a studious turn, got by his
own exertions such knowledge of Latin,
French, and Italian as should enable him
to make the acquaintance of their dramatic
literature. He acted occasionally as a boy
and young man, but never cared for a play-
er's life. For the two years between 1813
and 1815 he served as midshipman in the
navy: the episode was not ill suited to his
careless, generous nature. He returned to
London in 1816 and apprenticed himself to
a printer. The family was poor, and Doug-
las eked out his actor-father's income by
doing journalistic work and articles for peri- DOUGLAS JERROLD
odicals. Soon he began dramatic composi-
tion with the play (More Frightened than Hurt,' which was produced
in London in 1820; and although looked at askance by managers at
first, was eventually translated into French, and twice retranslated into
English and played under other names. His earliest genuine hit, how-
ever, was the lively comedy-farce (Black-Eyed Susan: or, All in the
Downs) (1829), which was brought out at the Surrey Theatre, and was
acted four hundred times that year. From this encouragement Jer-
rold made forty plays during twenty-odd years, many of the dramas
scoring successes. Other well-known pieces are (The Rent Day,'
Nell Gwynne,' (Time Works Wonders,' and 'The Bubbles of the
Day. ' In 1836 he managed the Strand Theatre, which proved a bad
venture.
XIV-517
(
>
## p. 8258 (#458) ###########################################
8258
DOUGLAS JERROLD
All this dramatic activity, even, does not represent Jerrold's best
work; nor did it call out his most typical and welcome powers. He
continued to do other literary work, and his journalistic career was
strenuous. He contributed to leading papers like the Athenæum and
Blackwood's, and edited various periodicals, such as the Illuminated
Magazine, the Shilling Magazine, and the Heads of the People,- in
most cases with a disastrous financial result. He made a success,
however, of Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper, for which he wrote in each
number three columns of leaders and did literary reviews, receiving
£1,000 salary.
When Punch was founded in 1841, Jerrold's happiest vein sought
an outlet. He at once became a contributor, and continued to be
one for the rest of his life, some sixteen years. His articles, signed
Q. , were one of the features of that famous purveyor of representative
British fun, pictorial and literary.
The series of Punch papers per-
haps most familiar to the general public appeared as a book in 1846,
under the title (Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures. ) "Punch's Letters to
his Son' and Cakes and Ale) are also widely known. Jerrold him-
self cared most for his writings in which his serious views and deeper
purpose came out: the Chronicles of Clovernook,' his pet book, is
an example. Indeed, the fact that he was an advanced thinker, a
broad-minded humanitarian preacher, is illustrated in such a moral
allegory as that here selected. Jerrold's reputation as a wit has
naturally enough deflected attention from this aspect of his work,
which well deserves appreciation. A collective edition of his works
in eight volumes appeared in 1851-4; and in 1888 his son, William
Blanchard Jerrold, edited in book form the Wit and Wisdom of
Douglas Jerrold. '
Jerrold was short and stocky in person, with clear-cut features,
blue eyes, and in his later years picturesque gray hair. He was of
a social nature; fond of music, a good singer himself; impulsive,
fiery, hasty often in letting loose the arrows of his wit, – but sim-
ple, almost boyish in manner, and a warm-hearted man whose interest
in the right was intense. Always impractical, he left his affairs in
a complicated condition. In short, his was a character whose faults
are palpable but which is withal very lovable.
## p. 8259 (#459) ###########################################
DOUGLAS JERROLD
8259
THE TRAGEDY OF THE TILL
THE HERMIT'S STORY
(
* I
-
T is a strange tale, but it hath the recommendation of brev-
ity. Some folks may see nothing in it but the tricksiness
of an extravagant spirit; and some perchance may pluck a
heart of meaning out of it. However, be it as it may, you shall
hear it, sir.
“There was a man called Isaac Pugwash, a dweller in a mis-
erable slough of London, a squalid denizen of one of the foul
nooks of that city of Plutus. He kept a shop; which, though
small as a cabin, was visited as granary and storehouse by half
the neighborhood. All the creature comforts of the poor - from
—
bread to that questionable superfluity, small beer — were sold by
Isaac. Strange it was that with such a trade Pugwash grew not
rich. He had many bad debts, and of all shopkeepers was most
unfortunate in false coin. Certain it is, he had neither eye nor
ear for bad money. Counterfeit semblances of majesty beguiled
him out of bread and butter, and cheese, and red herring, just
as readily as legitimate royalty struck at the mint. Malice might
impute something of this to the political principles of Pugwash;
who, as he had avowed himself again and again, was no lover of
a monarchy. Nevertheless, I cannot think Pugwash had so little
regard for the countenance of majesty as to welcome it as readily
when silvered copper as when sterling silver. No: a wild, foolish
enthusiast was Pugwash; but in the household matter of good
and bad money he had very wholesome prejudices. He had a
reasonable wish to grow rich, yet was entirely ignorant of the
byways and short cuts to wealth. He would have sauntered
through life with his hands in his pockets and a daisy in his
mouth; and dying with just enough in his house to pay the
undertaker, would have thought himself a fortunate fellow,-
he was, in the words of Mrs. Pugwash, such a careless, foolish,
dreaming creature. He was cheated every hour by a customer
of some kind; and yet to deny credit to anybody — he would as
soon have denied the wife of his bosom. His customers knew
the weakness, and failed not to exercise it. To be sure, now
and then, fresh from conjugal counsel, he would refuse to add
a single herring to a debtor's score: no, he would not be sent
to the workhouse by anybody. A quarter of an hour after, the
denied herring, with an added small loaf, was given to the little
## p. 8260 (#460) ###########################################
8260
DOUGLAS JERROLD
girl sent to the shop by the rejected mother: he couldn't bear
to see poor children wanting anything. '
"Pugwash had another unprofitable weakness. He was fond of
what he called Nature, though in his dim close shop he could
give her but a stilling welcome. Nevertheless he had the earliest
primroses on his counter,-'they threw,' he said, such a nice
light about the place. A sly, knavish customer presented Isaac
with a pot of polyanthuses; and won by the flowery gift, Pug-
wash gave the donor ruinous credit. The man with wall-flowers
regularly stopped at Isaac's shop, and for only sixpence Pugwash
would tell his wife he had made the place a Paradise. If we
can't go to Nature, Sally, isn't it a pleasant thing to be able to
bring Nature to us? Whereupon Mrs. Pugwash would declare
that a man with at least three children to provide for had no
need to talk of Nature. Nevertheless, the flower-man made his
weekly call. Though at many a house the penny could not every
week be spared to buy a hint, a look of Nature for the darkened
dwellers, Isaac, despite of Mrs. Pugwash, always purchased. It
is a common thing, an old familiar cry,” said the Hermit, “to
see the poor man's florist, to hear his loud-voiced invitation
to take his nosegays, his penny roots; and yet is it a call, a con-
juration of the heart of man overlabored and desponding — walled
in by the gloom of a town — divorced from the fields and their
sweet healthful influences — almost shut out from the sky that
reeks in vapor over him; it is a call that tells him there are
things of the earth besides food and covering to live for; and that
God in his great bounty hath made them for all men. Is it not
so ? ) asked the Hermit.
“Most certainly,” we answered: “it would be the very sinful-
ness of avarice to think otherwise. ”
"Why, sir," said the Hermit benevolently smiling, thus con-
sidered, the loud-lunged city bawler of roots and Aowers becomes
a high benevolence, a peripatetic priest of Nature. Adown dark
lanes and miry alleys he takes sweet remembrances-touching
records of the loveliness of earth, that with their bright looks
and balmy odors cheer and uplift the dumpish heart of man;
that make his soul stir within him; and acknowledge the beau-
tiful. The penny, the ill-spared penny--for it would buy a
wheaten roll — the poor housewife pays for a root of primrose, is
her offering to the hopeful loveliness of Nature; is her testimony
of the soul struggling with the blighting, crushing circumstance
»
((
(
## p. 8261 (#461) ###########################################
DOUGLAS JERROLD
8261
of sordid earth, and sometimes yearning towards earth's sweetest
aspects. Amidst the violence, the coarseness, and the suffering
that may surround and defile the wretched, there must be mo-
ments when the heart escapes, craving for the innocent and
lovely; when the soul makes for itself even of a flower a com-
fort and a refuge. ”
The Hermit paused a moment, and then in blither voice re-
sumed. “But I have strayed a little from the history of our
small tradesman Pugwash. Well, sir, Isaac for some three or four
years kept on his old way, his wife still prophesying in loud and
louder voice the inevitable workhouse. He would so think and
talk of Nature when he should mind his shop; he would so often
snatch a holiday to lose it in the fields, when he should take
stock and balance his books. What was worse, he every week
lost more and more by bad money. With no more sense than a
buzzard, as Mrs. Pugwash said, for a good shilling, he was the
victim of those laborious folks who make their money, with a
fine independence of the State, out of their own materials. It
seemed the common compact of a host of coiners to put off their
base-born offspring upon Isaac Pugwash; who, it must be con-
fessed, bore the loss and the indignity like a Christian martyr.
At last, however, the spirit of the man was stung. A guinea-as
Pugwash believed, of statute gold — was found to be of little less
value than a brass button. Mrs. Pugwash clamored and screamed
as though a besieging foe was in her house; and Pugwash him-
self felt that further patience would be pusillanimity. Where-
upon, sir, what think you Isaac did? Why, he suffered himself to
be driven by the voice and vehemence of his wife to a conjurer,
who in a neighboring attic was a sidereal go-between to the
neighborhood - a vender of intelligence from the stars to all
who sought and duly fee'd him. This magician would declare to
Pugwash the whereabouts of the felon coiner, and — the thought
was anodyne to the hurt mind of Isaac's wife — the knave would
be law-throttled.
“With sad indignant spirit did Isaac Pugwash seek Father
Lotus; for so, sir, was the conjurer called. He was none of your
common wizards. Oh no! he left it to the mere quack-salvers
and mountebanks of his craft to take upon them a haggard so-
lemnity of look, and to drop monosyllables heavy as bullets upon
the ear of the questioner. The mighty and magnificent hocus-
pocus of twelvepenny magicians was scorned by Lotus. There
## p. 8262 (#462) ###########################################
8262
DOUGLAS JERROLD
a
was nothing in his look or manner that showed him the worse
for keeping company with spirits; on the contrary, perhaps the
privileges he enjoyed of them served to make him only the more
blithe and jocund.
He might have passed for a gentleman at
once easy and cunning in the law; his sole knowledge, that
of labyrinthine sentences made expressly to wind poor common-
sense on parchment. He had an eye like a snake, a constant
smile upon his lip, a cheek colored like an apple, and an activity
of movement wide away from the solemnity of the conjurer. He
was a small, eel-figured man of about sixty, dressed in glossy
black, with silver buckles and flowing periwig. It was impossible
not to have a better opinion of sprites and demons, seeing that
so nice, so polished a gentleman was their especial pet. And
then, his attic had no mystic circle, no curtain of black, no
death's-head, no mummy of apocryphal dragon,- the vulgar
catchpennies of fortune-telling trader. There was not even
pack of cards to elevate the soul of man into the regions of the
mystic world. No, the room was plainly yet comfortably set out.
Father Lotus reposed in an easy-chair, nursing a snow-white cat
upon his knee; now tenderly patting the creature with one hand,
and now turning over a little Hebrew volume with the other.
If a man wished to have dealings with sorry demons, could he
desire a nicer little gentleman than Father Lotus to make the
acquaintance for him? In few words Isaac Pugwash told his
story to the smiling magician. He had, amongst much other bad
.
money, taken a counterfeit guinea: could Father Lotus discover
the evil-doer ?
« Yes, yes, yes,' said Lotus, smiling, of course - to be sure;
but that will do but little: in your present state But let me
look at your tongue. ' Pugwash obediently thrust the organ
forth. Yes, yes, as I thought. 'Twill do you no good to hang
the rogue; none at all. What we must do is this, — we must
cure you of the disease. '
«Disease! ) cried Pugwash. Bating the loss of my money, I
was never better in all my days. '
« Ha! my poor man,' said Lotus, it is the benevolence of
nature, that she often goes on quietly breaking us up, ourselves
knowing no more of the mischief than a girl's doll when the girl
rips up its seams. Your malady is of the perceptive organs.
Leave you alone and you'll sink to the condition of a baboon. '
«God bless me! ' cried Pugwash.
(
(
## p. 8263 (#463) ###########################################
DOUGLAS JERROLD
8263
(
«CA jackass with sense to choose a thistle from a toadstool
will be a reasoning creature to you! for consider, my poor soul,'
said Lotus in a compassionate voice,- in this world of tribula-
tion we inhabit, consider what a benighted nincompoop is man,
if he cannot elect a good shilling from a bad one. '
« I have not a sharp eye for money,' said Pugwash modestly.
It's a gift, sir; I'm assured it's a gift. '
«A sharp eye! an eye of horn,' said Lotus. (Never mind,
I can remedy all that; I can restore you to the world and to
yourself. The greatest physicians, the wisest philosophers, have
in the profundity of their wisdom made money the test of wit.
A man is believed mad; he is a very rich man, and his heir has
very good reason to believe him lunatic: whereupon the heir, the
madman's careful friend, calls about the sufferer a company of
wizards to sit in judgment on the suspected brain, and report a
verdict thereupon. Well, ninety-nine times out of the hundred,
what is the first question put as test of reason? Why, a question
of money. The physician, laying certain pieces of current coin
in his palm, asks of the patient their several value. If he answer
truly, why truly there is hope; but if he stammer or falter at the
coin, the verdict runs, and wisely runs, mad— incapably mad. '
« I'm not so bad as that,' said Pugwash, a little alarmed.
« Don't say how you are — it's presumption in any man,'
(
-
cried Lotus. Nevertheless, be as you may, I'll cure you if you'll
give attention to my remedy. '
«I'll give my whole soul to it,' exclaimed Pugwash.
««Very good, very good; I like your earnestness: but I don't
want all your soul,' said Father Lotus smiling,-'I want only
part of it; that, if you confide in me, I can take from you with
no danger,-ay, with less peril than the pricking of a whitlow.
Now then, for examination. Now to have a good stare at this
soul of yours. ' Here Father Lotus gently removed the white
cat from his knee,- for he had been patting her all the time he
talked,- and turned full round upon Pugwash. “Turn out your
breeches pockets,' said Lotus; and the tractable Pugwash imme-
diately displayed the linings. So! ' cried Lotus, looking narrowly
at the brown holland whereof they were made, very bad indeed;
very bad: never knew a soul in a worse state in all my life. '
Pugwash looked at his pockets, and then at the conjurer; he
was about to speak, but the fixed, earnest look of Father Lotus
held him in respectful silence.
>
(
## p. 8264 (#464) ###########################################
8264
DOUGLAS JERROLD
« Yes, yes,' said the wizard, still eying the brown holland,
I can see it all: a vagabond soul; a soul wandering here and
there, like a pauper without a settlement; a ragamuffin soul. ”
"Pugwash found confidence and breath. Was there ever
such a joke ? he cried: know a man's soul by the linings
of his breeches pockets! ) and Pugwash laughed, albeit uncom-
fortably.
“Father Lotus looked at the man with philosophic compas-
sion. Ha, my good friend! ” he said, that all comes of your
ignorance of moral anatomy. '
"Well, but, Father Lotus-
« (Peace! ' said the wizard, and answer me. You'd have this
soul of yours cured? '
« If there's anything the matter with it,' answered Pugwash.
'Though not of any conceit I speak it, yet I think it as sweet
and as healthy a soul as the souls of my neighbors. I never did
wrong to anybody. '
« Pooh! ) cried Father Lotus.
«I never denied credit to the hungry,' continued Pugwash.
« Fiddle-de-dee! ' said the wizard very nervously.
« I never laid out a penny in law upon a customer; I never
refused small beer to-
«<< Silence! ' cried Father Lotus: don't offend philosophy by
thus bragging of your follies. You are in a perilous condition;
still you may be saved. At this very moment, I much fear
it, gangrene has touched your soul; nevertheless, I can separate
the sound from the mortified parts, and start you new again as
though your lips were first wet with mother's milk. )
Pugwash merely said, — for the wizard began to awe him,-
I'm very much obliged to you. '
«Now,' said Lotus, answer a few questions, and then I'll
proceed to the cure. What do you think of money?
«A very nice thing,' said Pugwash, though I can do with
as little of it as most folks. '
“Father Lotus shook his head. Well, and the world about
(
you ? ?
«<A beautiful world,' said Pugwash; 'only the worst of it is,
I can't leave the shop as often as I would, to enjoy it. I'm shut
in all day long, I may say, a prisoner to brick-dust, herrings, and
bacon.
Sometimes when the sun shines and the cobbler's lark
over the way sings as if he'd split his pipe, why then, do you
## p. 8265 (#465) ###########################################
DOUGLAS JERROLD
8265
know, I do so long to get into the fields; I do hunger for a bit
of grass like any cow. '
« The wizard looked almost hopelessly on Pugwash. (And
that's your religion and business? Infidel of the counter! Saracen
of the till! However — patience,' said Lotus, and let us con-
clude. — And the men and women of the world, what do you
think of them ? )
«God bless 'em, poor souls! ' said Pugwash. It's a sad
scramble some of 'em have, isn't it? '
« Well,' said the conjurer, for a tradesman, your soul is in
a wretched condition. However, it is not so hopelessly bad that
I may not yet make it profitable to you. I must cure it of its
vagabond desires, and above all make it respectful of money.
You will take this book. ) Here Lotus took a little volume from
a cupboard, and placed it in the hand of Pugwash. Lay it
under your pillow every night for a week, and on the eighth
morning let me see you. '
«Come, there's nothing easier than that,' said Pugwash with
a smile; and reverently putting the volume in his pocket (the
book was closed by metal clasps, curiously chased), he descended
the garret stairs of the conjurer.
“On the morning of the eighth day Pugwash again stood
before Lotus.
« How do you feel now? ' asked the conjurer with a knowing
look.
"I haven't opened the book — 'tis just as I took it,' said Pug-
wash, making no further answer.
«I know that,' said Lotus: the clasps be thanked for your
ignorance. Pugwash slightly colored; for to say the truth, both
he and his wife had vainly pulled and tugged, and fingered
and coaxed the clasps, that they might look upon the necro-
mantic page. “Well, the book has worked, said the conjurer;
I have it. "
« Have it! what? ) asked Pugwash.
«« Your soul,' answered the sorcerer. In all my practice, he
added gravely, I never had a soul come into my hands in worse
condition. '
« Impossible! ' cried Pugwash. If my soul is as you say,
'
(
in your own hands, how is it that I'm alive? How is it that I
can eat, drink, sleep, walk, talk, do everything, just like anybody
else ? )
(
(
## p. 8266 (#466) ###########################################
8266
DOUGLAS JERROLD
(
-
.
« Ha! ' said Lotus, (that's a common mistake. Thousands
and thousands would swear, ay, as they'd swear to their own
noses, that they have their souls in their own possession: bless
you,' and the conjurer laughed maliciously, it's a popular error.
Their souls are altogether out of 'em. '
«Well,' said Pugwash, if it's true that you have indeed my
soul, I should like to have a look at it. '
« (In good time,' said the conjurer, “I'll bring it to your
house and put it in its proper lodging. In another week I'll
bring it to you: 'twill then be strong enough to bear removal. '
« (And what am I to do all the time without it? asked
Pugwash in a tone of banter. Come,' said he, still jesting, if
you really have my soul, what's it like? What's its color? - if
indeed souls have colors. '
“Green - green as a grasshopper, when it first came into
my hands,' said the wizard; 'but 'tis changing daily. More: it
was a skipping, chirping, giddy soul; 'tis every hour mending.
In a week's time, I tell you, it will be fit for the business of the
world.
«And pray, good father,--for the matter has till now escaped
me, -- what am I to pay you for this pain and trouble; for this
precious care of my miserable soul? '
« <
Nothing,' answered Lotus, nothing whatever. The work
is too nice and precious to be paid for; I have a reward you
dream not of for my labor. Think you that men's immortal
souls are to be mended like iron pots, at tinker's price? Oh
no! they who meddle with souls go for higher wages. '
"After further talk Pugwash departed, the conjurer promising
to bring him home his soul at midnight that night week. It
seemed strange to Pugwash, as the time passed on, that he never
seemed to miss his soul; that in very truth he went through the
labors of the day with even better gravity than when his soul
possessed him. And more: he began to feel himself more at
home in his shop; the cobbler's lark over the way continued to
sing, but awoke in Isaac's heart no thought of the fields; and
then for flowers and plants, why, Isaac began to think such mat-
ters fitter the thoughts of children and foolish girls than the
attention of grown men, with the world before them. Even Mrs.
Pugwash saw an alteration in her husband; and though to him
she said nothing, she returned thanks to her own sagacity that
made him seek the conjurer.
## p. 8267 (#467) ###########################################
DOUGLAS JERROLD
8267
(
"At length the night arrived when Lotus had promised to
bring home the soul of Pugwash. He sent his wife to bed, and
sat with his eyes upon the Dutch clock, anxiously awaiting the
conjurer. Twelve o'clock struck, and at the same moment Father
Lotus smote the door-post of Isaac Pugwash.
« Have you brought it? ' asked Pugwash.
« (Or wherefore should I come ? ' said Lotus. 'Quick: show a
light to the till, that your soul may find itself at home. '
« « The till! ' cried Pugwash; 'what the devil should my soul
do in the till ? )
« «Speak not irreverently,' said the conjurer, but show a
light. '
« May I live forever in darkness if I do! cried Pugwash.
“It is no matter,' said the conjurer; and then he cried,
'Soul, to your earthly dwelling-place! Seek it-you know it. '
Then turning to Pugwash, Lotus said, It is all right. Your
soul's in the till. )
« (How did it get there? ' cried Pugwash in amazement.
« Through the slit in the counter,' said the onjurer; and ere
Pugwash could speak again, the conjurer had quitted the shop.
“For some minutes Pugwash felt himself afraid to stir. For
the first time in his life he felt himself ill at ease, left as he was
with no other company save his own soul. He at length took
heart, and went behind the counter that he might see if his soul
was really in the till. With trembling hand he drew the coffer,
and there, to his amazement, squatted like a tailor upon a crown
piece, did Pugwash behold his own soul, which cried out to him
in notes no louder than a cricket's, “How are you? I am com-
fortable. '
“It was a strange yet pleasing sight to Pugwash, to behold
what he felt to be his own soul embodied in a figure no bigger
than the top joint of his thumb. There it was, a stark-naked
thing with the precise features of Pugwash; albeit the complex-
ion was of a yellower hue. The conjurer said it was green,'
cried Pugwash: as I live, if that be my soul - and I begin
to feel a strange, odd love for it — it is yellow as a guinea, .
Ha! ha! Pretty, precious, darling soul! ' cried Pugwash, as the
creature took up every piece of coin in the till, and rang it with
such a look of rascally cunning, that sure I am Pugwash would
in past times have hated the creature for the trick.
day Pugwash became fonder and fonder of the creature in the
But every
## p. 8268 (#468) ###########################################
8268
DOUGLAS JERROLD
till: it was to him such a counselor and such a blessing. When-
ever the old flower-man came to the door, the soul of Pugwash
from the till would bid him pack with his rubbish; if a poor
woman - an old customer it might be — begged for the credit
of a loaf, the Spirit of the Till, calling through the slit in the
counter, would command Pugwash to deny her. More: Pugwash
never again took a bad shilling. No sooner did he throw the
pocket-piece down upon the counter than the voice from the till
would denounce its worthlessness. And the soul of Pugwash
never quitted the till. There it lived, feeding upon the color of
money, and capering and rubbing its small scoundrel hands in
glee as the coin dropped -- dropped in. In time the soul of Pug.
wash grew too big for so small a habitation, and then Pugwash
moved his soul into an iron box; and some time after he sent
his soul to his banker's, the thing had waxed so big and strong
on gold and silver. ”
"And so,” said we, « the man flourished, and the conjurer
took no wages for all he did to the soul of Pugwash ? ”
“Hear the end,” said the Hermit. « For some time it was
a growing pleasure to Pugwash to look at his soul, busy as it
always was with the world-buying metals. At length he grew
old, very old; and every day his soul grew uglier. Then he
hated to look upon it; and then his soul would come to him,
and grin its deformity at him. Pugwash died, almost rich as an
Indian king; but he died shrieking in his madness to be saved
from the terrors of his own soul. ”
"And such the end, we said; "such the Tragedy of the Till?
A strange romance. ”
«Romance! ” said the Sage of Bellyfule: "sir, 'tis a story true
as life.
For at this very moment how many thousands, blind and
deaf to the sweet looks and voice of nature, live and die with
their souls in a Till! »
(
(
## p.
only propose to put the Greeks under other masters; to substi-
tute one set of barbarians for another.
Colonel Humphreys having satisfied you that all attempts
would be fruitless here to obtain money or other advantages for
your college, I need add nothing on that head. It is a method
of supporting colleges of which they have no idea, though they
practice it for the support of their lazy monkish institutions.
I have the honor to be, with the highest respect and esteem,
Sir, your most obedient and most humble servant.
## p. 8252 (#452) ###########################################
8252
THOMAS JEFFERSON
LETTER TO JAMES MADISON
Y
M
PARIS, December 20th, 1787.
Dear Sir:
LAST to you was of October the 8th, by the Count de
Moustier. Yours of July the 18th, September the 6th, and
October the 24th were successively received yesterday, the
day before, and three or four days before that. I have only had
time to read the letters; the printed papers communicated with
them, however interesting, being obliged to lie over till I finish
my dispatches for the packet, which dispatches must go from
hence the day after to-morrow. I have much to thank you for;
first and most for the cyphered paragraph respecting myself.
These little informations are very material towards forming my
own decisions. I would be glad even to know when any indi-
vidual member thinks I have gone wrong in any instance. If I
know myself, it would not excite ill blood in me; while it would
assist to guide my conduct, perhaps to justify it, and to keep me
to my duty, alert. I must thank you, too, for the information in
Thomas Burke's case; though you will have found by a subse-
quent letter that I have asked of you a further investigation of
that matter. It is to gratify the lady who is at the head of the
convent wherein my daughters are, and who, by her attachment
and attention to them, lays me under great obligations. I shall
hope, therefore, still to receive from you the result of all the
further inquiries my second letter had asked. The parcel of rice
which you informed me had miscarried, accompanied my letter
to the Delegates of South Carolina. Mr. Bourgoin was to be the
bearer of both; and both were delivered into the hands of his
relation here, who introduced him to me, and who, at a subse-
quent moment, undertook to convey them to Mr. Bourgoin. This
person was an engraver, particularly recommended to Dr. Frank-
lin and Mr. Hopkinson. Perhaps he may have mislaid the little
parcel of rice among his baggage. I am much pleased that the
sale of western lands is so successful. I hope they will absorb
all the certificates of our domestic debt speedily, in the first
place; and that then, offered for cash, they will do the same by
our foreign ones.
The seasons admitting only of operations in the cabinet,
and these being in a great measure secret, I have little to fill a
## p. 8253 (#453) ###########################################
THOMAS JEFFERSON
8253
letter. I will therefore make up the deficiency by adding a few
words on the constitution proposed by our convention.
I like much the general idea of framing a government which
should go on of itself, peaceably, without needing continual recur-
rence to the State legislatures. I like the organization of the
government into legislative, judiciary, and executive. I like the
power given the legislature to levy taxes; and for that reason
solely, I approve of the greater House being chosen by the
people directly. For though I think a House so chosen will be
very far inferior to the present Congress, will be very illy quali-
fied to legislate for the Union, for foreign nations, &c. , yet this
evil does not weigh against the good, of preserving inviolate the
fundamental principle that the people are not to be taxed but
by representatives chosen immediately by themselves.
tivated by the compromise of the opposite claims of the great
and little States, of the latter to equal, and the former to pro-
portional influence. I am much pleased, too, with the substitution
of voting by person, instead of that of voting by States; and I
like the negative given to the Executive, conjointly with a third
of either House; though I should have liked it better, had the
judiciary been associated for that purpose, or vested separately
with a similar power. There are other good things of less mo-
ment.
I will now tell you what I do not like. First, the omis-
sion of a bill of rights, providing clearly, and without the aid of
sophism, for freedom of religion, freedom of the press, protection
against standing armies, restriction of monopolies, the eternal and
unremitting force of the habeas corpus laws, and trials by jury
in all matters of fact triable by the laws of the land and not by
the laws of nations. To say, as Mr. Wilson does, that a bill of
rights was not necessary, because all is reserved in the case of
the general government which is not given, while in the particu-
lar ones all is given which is not reserved, might do for the
audience to which it was addressed: but it is surely a gratis dic-
tum, the reverse of which might just as well be said; and it is
opposed by strong inferences from the body of the instrument, as
well as from the omission of the clause of our present Confedera-
tion which has made the reservation in express terms.
It was
hard to conclude, because there has been a want of uniformity
among the States as to the cases of trial by jury, because some
have been so incautious as to dispense with this mode of trial in
## p. 8254 (#454) ###########################################
8254
THOMAS JEFFERSON
certain cases, therefore the more prudent States shall be reduced
to the same level of calamity. It would have been much more
just and wise to have concluded the other way; that as most of
the States' had preserved with jealousy this sacred palladium of
liberty, those who had wandered should be brought back to it:
and to have established general right rather than general wrong.
For I consider all the ill as established which may be established.
I have a right to nothing which another has a right to take
away; and Congress will have a right to take away trials by jury
in all civil cases. Let me add, that a bill of rights is what the
people are entitled to against every government on earth, general
or particular; and what no just government should refuse, or rest
on inference.
The second feature I dislike, and strongly dislike, is the aban-
donment in every instance of the principle of rotation in office,
and most particularly in the case of the President. Reason and
experience tell us that the first magistrate will always be re-
elected if he may be re-elected. He is then an officer for life.
This once observed, it becomes of so much consequence to cer-
tain nations to have a friend or a foe at the head of our affairs,
that they will interfere with money and with arms. A Galloman
or an Angloman will be supported by the nation he befriends.
If once elected, and at a second or third election outvoted by
one or two votes, he will pretend false votes, foul play, hold pos-
session of the reins of government, be supported by the States
voting for him, - especially if they be the central ones, lying
in a compact body themselves and separating their opponents;
and they will be aided by one nation in Europe while the
majority are aided by another. The election of a President of
America, some years hence, will be much more interesting to
certain nations of Europe than ever the election of a king of
Poland was. Reflect on all the instances in history, ancient and
modern, of elective monarchies, and say if they do not give
foundation for my fears; the Roman emperors, the popes while
they were of any importance, the German emperors till they
became hereditary in practice, the kings of Poland, the deys of
the Ottoman dependencies. It may be said that if elections
are to be attended with these disorders, the less frequently they
are repeated the better. But experience says, that to free them
from disorder they must be rendered less interesting by a neces-
sity of change. No foreign power, no domestic party, will waste
## p. 8255 (#455) ###########################################
THOMAS JEFFERSON
8255
their blood and money to elect a person who must go out at
the end of a short period. The power of removing every fourth
year by the vote of the people is a power which they will not
exercise; and if they are disposed to exercise it, they would not
be permitted. The king of Poland is removable every day by
the Diet. But they never remove him. Nor would Russia, the
Emperor, etc. , permit them to do it. Smaller objections are,
the appeals on matters of fact as well as laws; and the binding
all persons, legislative, executive, and judiciary, by oath, to main-
tain that Constitution. I do not pretend to decide what would
be the best method of procuring the establishment of the mani-
fold good things in this Constitution, and of getting rid of the
bad. Whether by adopting it, in hopes of future amendment; or
after it shall have been duly weighed and canvassed by the peo-
ple, after seeing the parts they generally dislike, and those they
generally approve, to say to them, “We see now what you
wish. You are willing to give to your federal government such-
and-such powers; but you wish at the same time to have such-
and-such fundamental rights secured to you, and certain sources
of convulsion taken away.
Be it so. Send together deputies
again. Let them establish your fundamental rights by a sacro-
sanct declaration, and let them pass the parts of the Constitution
you have approved. These will give powers to your federal gov-
ernment sufficient for your happiness. ”
This is what might be said, and would probably produce a
speedy, more perfect, and more permanent form of government.
At all events, I hope you will not be discouraged from making
other trials, if the present one should fail. We are never per-
mitted to despair of the commonwealth. I have thus told you
freely what I like, and what I dislike, merely as a matter of curi-
osity; for I know it is not in my power to offer matter of infor-
mation to your judgment, which has been formed after hearing
and weighing everything which the wisdom of man could offer
on these subjects. I own, I am not a friend to a very energetic
government. It is always oppressive. It places the governors
indeed more at their ease, at the expense of the people. The late
rebellion in Massachusetts has given more alarm than I think it
should have done. Calculate that one rebellion in thirteen States
in the course of eleven years is but one for each State in a cen-
tury and a half. No country should be so long without one. Nor
will any degree of power in the hands of government prevent
## p. 8256 (#456) ###########################################
8256
THOMAS JEFFERSON
And say
insurrections. In England, where the hand of power is heavier
than with us, there are seldom half a dozen years without an in-
surrection. In France, where it is still heavier, but less despotic
as Montesquieu supposes than in some other countries, and where
there are always two or three hundred thousand men ready to
crush insurrections, there have been three in the course of the
three years I have been here, in every one of which greater num-
bers were engaged than in Massachusetts, and a great deal more
blood was spilt. In Turkey, where the sole nod of the despot is
death, insurrections are the events of every day. Compare again
the ferocious depredations of their insurgents with the order, the
moderation, and the almost self-extinguishment of ours.
finally whether peace is best preserved by giving energy to the
government, or information to the people. This last is the most
certain and the most legitimate engine of government. Educate
and inform the whole mass of the people. Enable them to see
that it is their interest to preserve peace and order, and they
will preserve them. And it requires no very high degree of edu-
cation to convince them of this. They are the only sure reliance
for the preservation of our liberty. After all, it is my principle
that the will of the majority should prevail. If they approve the
proposed Constitution in all its parts, I shall concur in it cheer-
fully, in hopes they will amend it whenever they shall find it
works wrong
This reliance cannot deceive us as long as
remain virtuous; and I think we shall be so as long as agricult-
ure is our principal object, which will be the case while there
remain vacant lands in any part of America. When we get piled
upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become
corrupt as in Europe, and go to eating one another as they do
there. I have tired you by this time with disquisitions which you
have already heard repeated by others a thousand and a thou-
sand times; and therefore shall only add assurances of the esteem
and attachment with which I have the honor to be, dear sir,
your affectionate friend and servant.
P. S. -The instability of our laws is really an immense evil.
I think it would be well to provide in our constitutions, that
there shall always be a twelvemonth between the engrossing a
bill and passing it; that it should then be offered to its passage
without changing a word; and that if circumstances should be
thought to require a speedier passage, it should take two-thirds of
both Houses, instead of a bare majority.
we
-
## p. 8257 (#457) ###########################################
8257
DOUGLAS JERROLD
(1803-1857)
HERE is a winning quality in Douglas Jerrold, whether as man
or writer. Popularly known as a brilliant wit, and often
regarded as a cynical one, he was a manly and big-hearted
moralist, a hater of sham, a lover of lovely things,- one who did
good while he gave pleasure.
He was born in London January 30, 1803;, his father, Samuel Jer-
rold, being actor and theatre lessee of the not too successful kind.
Douglas William (the son's full name) had no regular education: he
learned to read and write from a member of a theatrical company,
and being of a studious turn, got by his
own exertions such knowledge of Latin,
French, and Italian as should enable him
to make the acquaintance of their dramatic
literature. He acted occasionally as a boy
and young man, but never cared for a play-
er's life. For the two years between 1813
and 1815 he served as midshipman in the
navy: the episode was not ill suited to his
careless, generous nature. He returned to
London in 1816 and apprenticed himself to
a printer. The family was poor, and Doug-
las eked out his actor-father's income by
doing journalistic work and articles for peri- DOUGLAS JERROLD
odicals. Soon he began dramatic composi-
tion with the play (More Frightened than Hurt,' which was produced
in London in 1820; and although looked at askance by managers at
first, was eventually translated into French, and twice retranslated into
English and played under other names. His earliest genuine hit, how-
ever, was the lively comedy-farce (Black-Eyed Susan: or, All in the
Downs) (1829), which was brought out at the Surrey Theatre, and was
acted four hundred times that year. From this encouragement Jer-
rold made forty plays during twenty-odd years, many of the dramas
scoring successes. Other well-known pieces are (The Rent Day,'
Nell Gwynne,' (Time Works Wonders,' and 'The Bubbles of the
Day. ' In 1836 he managed the Strand Theatre, which proved a bad
venture.
XIV-517
(
>
## p. 8258 (#458) ###########################################
8258
DOUGLAS JERROLD
All this dramatic activity, even, does not represent Jerrold's best
work; nor did it call out his most typical and welcome powers. He
continued to do other literary work, and his journalistic career was
strenuous. He contributed to leading papers like the Athenæum and
Blackwood's, and edited various periodicals, such as the Illuminated
Magazine, the Shilling Magazine, and the Heads of the People,- in
most cases with a disastrous financial result. He made a success,
however, of Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper, for which he wrote in each
number three columns of leaders and did literary reviews, receiving
£1,000 salary.
When Punch was founded in 1841, Jerrold's happiest vein sought
an outlet. He at once became a contributor, and continued to be
one for the rest of his life, some sixteen years. His articles, signed
Q. , were one of the features of that famous purveyor of representative
British fun, pictorial and literary.
The series of Punch papers per-
haps most familiar to the general public appeared as a book in 1846,
under the title (Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures. ) "Punch's Letters to
his Son' and Cakes and Ale) are also widely known. Jerrold him-
self cared most for his writings in which his serious views and deeper
purpose came out: the Chronicles of Clovernook,' his pet book, is
an example. Indeed, the fact that he was an advanced thinker, a
broad-minded humanitarian preacher, is illustrated in such a moral
allegory as that here selected. Jerrold's reputation as a wit has
naturally enough deflected attention from this aspect of his work,
which well deserves appreciation. A collective edition of his works
in eight volumes appeared in 1851-4; and in 1888 his son, William
Blanchard Jerrold, edited in book form the Wit and Wisdom of
Douglas Jerrold. '
Jerrold was short and stocky in person, with clear-cut features,
blue eyes, and in his later years picturesque gray hair. He was of
a social nature; fond of music, a good singer himself; impulsive,
fiery, hasty often in letting loose the arrows of his wit, – but sim-
ple, almost boyish in manner, and a warm-hearted man whose interest
in the right was intense. Always impractical, he left his affairs in
a complicated condition. In short, his was a character whose faults
are palpable but which is withal very lovable.
## p. 8259 (#459) ###########################################
DOUGLAS JERROLD
8259
THE TRAGEDY OF THE TILL
THE HERMIT'S STORY
(
* I
-
T is a strange tale, but it hath the recommendation of brev-
ity. Some folks may see nothing in it but the tricksiness
of an extravagant spirit; and some perchance may pluck a
heart of meaning out of it. However, be it as it may, you shall
hear it, sir.
“There was a man called Isaac Pugwash, a dweller in a mis-
erable slough of London, a squalid denizen of one of the foul
nooks of that city of Plutus. He kept a shop; which, though
small as a cabin, was visited as granary and storehouse by half
the neighborhood. All the creature comforts of the poor - from
—
bread to that questionable superfluity, small beer — were sold by
Isaac. Strange it was that with such a trade Pugwash grew not
rich. He had many bad debts, and of all shopkeepers was most
unfortunate in false coin. Certain it is, he had neither eye nor
ear for bad money. Counterfeit semblances of majesty beguiled
him out of bread and butter, and cheese, and red herring, just
as readily as legitimate royalty struck at the mint. Malice might
impute something of this to the political principles of Pugwash;
who, as he had avowed himself again and again, was no lover of
a monarchy. Nevertheless, I cannot think Pugwash had so little
regard for the countenance of majesty as to welcome it as readily
when silvered copper as when sterling silver. No: a wild, foolish
enthusiast was Pugwash; but in the household matter of good
and bad money he had very wholesome prejudices. He had a
reasonable wish to grow rich, yet was entirely ignorant of the
byways and short cuts to wealth. He would have sauntered
through life with his hands in his pockets and a daisy in his
mouth; and dying with just enough in his house to pay the
undertaker, would have thought himself a fortunate fellow,-
he was, in the words of Mrs. Pugwash, such a careless, foolish,
dreaming creature. He was cheated every hour by a customer
of some kind; and yet to deny credit to anybody — he would as
soon have denied the wife of his bosom. His customers knew
the weakness, and failed not to exercise it. To be sure, now
and then, fresh from conjugal counsel, he would refuse to add
a single herring to a debtor's score: no, he would not be sent
to the workhouse by anybody. A quarter of an hour after, the
denied herring, with an added small loaf, was given to the little
## p. 8260 (#460) ###########################################
8260
DOUGLAS JERROLD
girl sent to the shop by the rejected mother: he couldn't bear
to see poor children wanting anything. '
"Pugwash had another unprofitable weakness. He was fond of
what he called Nature, though in his dim close shop he could
give her but a stilling welcome. Nevertheless he had the earliest
primroses on his counter,-'they threw,' he said, such a nice
light about the place. A sly, knavish customer presented Isaac
with a pot of polyanthuses; and won by the flowery gift, Pug-
wash gave the donor ruinous credit. The man with wall-flowers
regularly stopped at Isaac's shop, and for only sixpence Pugwash
would tell his wife he had made the place a Paradise. If we
can't go to Nature, Sally, isn't it a pleasant thing to be able to
bring Nature to us? Whereupon Mrs. Pugwash would declare
that a man with at least three children to provide for had no
need to talk of Nature. Nevertheless, the flower-man made his
weekly call. Though at many a house the penny could not every
week be spared to buy a hint, a look of Nature for the darkened
dwellers, Isaac, despite of Mrs. Pugwash, always purchased. It
is a common thing, an old familiar cry,” said the Hermit, “to
see the poor man's florist, to hear his loud-voiced invitation
to take his nosegays, his penny roots; and yet is it a call, a con-
juration of the heart of man overlabored and desponding — walled
in by the gloom of a town — divorced from the fields and their
sweet healthful influences — almost shut out from the sky that
reeks in vapor over him; it is a call that tells him there are
things of the earth besides food and covering to live for; and that
God in his great bounty hath made them for all men. Is it not
so ? ) asked the Hermit.
“Most certainly,” we answered: “it would be the very sinful-
ness of avarice to think otherwise. ”
"Why, sir," said the Hermit benevolently smiling, thus con-
sidered, the loud-lunged city bawler of roots and Aowers becomes
a high benevolence, a peripatetic priest of Nature. Adown dark
lanes and miry alleys he takes sweet remembrances-touching
records of the loveliness of earth, that with their bright looks
and balmy odors cheer and uplift the dumpish heart of man;
that make his soul stir within him; and acknowledge the beau-
tiful. The penny, the ill-spared penny--for it would buy a
wheaten roll — the poor housewife pays for a root of primrose, is
her offering to the hopeful loveliness of Nature; is her testimony
of the soul struggling with the blighting, crushing circumstance
»
((
(
## p. 8261 (#461) ###########################################
DOUGLAS JERROLD
8261
of sordid earth, and sometimes yearning towards earth's sweetest
aspects. Amidst the violence, the coarseness, and the suffering
that may surround and defile the wretched, there must be mo-
ments when the heart escapes, craving for the innocent and
lovely; when the soul makes for itself even of a flower a com-
fort and a refuge. ”
The Hermit paused a moment, and then in blither voice re-
sumed. “But I have strayed a little from the history of our
small tradesman Pugwash. Well, sir, Isaac for some three or four
years kept on his old way, his wife still prophesying in loud and
louder voice the inevitable workhouse. He would so think and
talk of Nature when he should mind his shop; he would so often
snatch a holiday to lose it in the fields, when he should take
stock and balance his books. What was worse, he every week
lost more and more by bad money. With no more sense than a
buzzard, as Mrs. Pugwash said, for a good shilling, he was the
victim of those laborious folks who make their money, with a
fine independence of the State, out of their own materials. It
seemed the common compact of a host of coiners to put off their
base-born offspring upon Isaac Pugwash; who, it must be con-
fessed, bore the loss and the indignity like a Christian martyr.
At last, however, the spirit of the man was stung. A guinea-as
Pugwash believed, of statute gold — was found to be of little less
value than a brass button. Mrs. Pugwash clamored and screamed
as though a besieging foe was in her house; and Pugwash him-
self felt that further patience would be pusillanimity. Where-
upon, sir, what think you Isaac did? Why, he suffered himself to
be driven by the voice and vehemence of his wife to a conjurer,
who in a neighboring attic was a sidereal go-between to the
neighborhood - a vender of intelligence from the stars to all
who sought and duly fee'd him. This magician would declare to
Pugwash the whereabouts of the felon coiner, and — the thought
was anodyne to the hurt mind of Isaac's wife — the knave would
be law-throttled.
“With sad indignant spirit did Isaac Pugwash seek Father
Lotus; for so, sir, was the conjurer called. He was none of your
common wizards. Oh no! he left it to the mere quack-salvers
and mountebanks of his craft to take upon them a haggard so-
lemnity of look, and to drop monosyllables heavy as bullets upon
the ear of the questioner. The mighty and magnificent hocus-
pocus of twelvepenny magicians was scorned by Lotus. There
## p. 8262 (#462) ###########################################
8262
DOUGLAS JERROLD
a
was nothing in his look or manner that showed him the worse
for keeping company with spirits; on the contrary, perhaps the
privileges he enjoyed of them served to make him only the more
blithe and jocund.
He might have passed for a gentleman at
once easy and cunning in the law; his sole knowledge, that
of labyrinthine sentences made expressly to wind poor common-
sense on parchment. He had an eye like a snake, a constant
smile upon his lip, a cheek colored like an apple, and an activity
of movement wide away from the solemnity of the conjurer. He
was a small, eel-figured man of about sixty, dressed in glossy
black, with silver buckles and flowing periwig. It was impossible
not to have a better opinion of sprites and demons, seeing that
so nice, so polished a gentleman was their especial pet. And
then, his attic had no mystic circle, no curtain of black, no
death's-head, no mummy of apocryphal dragon,- the vulgar
catchpennies of fortune-telling trader. There was not even
pack of cards to elevate the soul of man into the regions of the
mystic world. No, the room was plainly yet comfortably set out.
Father Lotus reposed in an easy-chair, nursing a snow-white cat
upon his knee; now tenderly patting the creature with one hand,
and now turning over a little Hebrew volume with the other.
If a man wished to have dealings with sorry demons, could he
desire a nicer little gentleman than Father Lotus to make the
acquaintance for him? In few words Isaac Pugwash told his
story to the smiling magician. He had, amongst much other bad
.
money, taken a counterfeit guinea: could Father Lotus discover
the evil-doer ?
« Yes, yes, yes,' said Lotus, smiling, of course - to be sure;
but that will do but little: in your present state But let me
look at your tongue. ' Pugwash obediently thrust the organ
forth. Yes, yes, as I thought. 'Twill do you no good to hang
the rogue; none at all. What we must do is this, — we must
cure you of the disease. '
«Disease! ) cried Pugwash. Bating the loss of my money, I
was never better in all my days. '
« Ha! my poor man,' said Lotus, it is the benevolence of
nature, that she often goes on quietly breaking us up, ourselves
knowing no more of the mischief than a girl's doll when the girl
rips up its seams. Your malady is of the perceptive organs.
Leave you alone and you'll sink to the condition of a baboon. '
«God bless me! ' cried Pugwash.
(
(
## p. 8263 (#463) ###########################################
DOUGLAS JERROLD
8263
(
«CA jackass with sense to choose a thistle from a toadstool
will be a reasoning creature to you! for consider, my poor soul,'
said Lotus in a compassionate voice,- in this world of tribula-
tion we inhabit, consider what a benighted nincompoop is man,
if he cannot elect a good shilling from a bad one. '
« I have not a sharp eye for money,' said Pugwash modestly.
It's a gift, sir; I'm assured it's a gift. '
«A sharp eye! an eye of horn,' said Lotus. (Never mind,
I can remedy all that; I can restore you to the world and to
yourself. The greatest physicians, the wisest philosophers, have
in the profundity of their wisdom made money the test of wit.
A man is believed mad; he is a very rich man, and his heir has
very good reason to believe him lunatic: whereupon the heir, the
madman's careful friend, calls about the sufferer a company of
wizards to sit in judgment on the suspected brain, and report a
verdict thereupon. Well, ninety-nine times out of the hundred,
what is the first question put as test of reason? Why, a question
of money. The physician, laying certain pieces of current coin
in his palm, asks of the patient their several value. If he answer
truly, why truly there is hope; but if he stammer or falter at the
coin, the verdict runs, and wisely runs, mad— incapably mad. '
« I'm not so bad as that,' said Pugwash, a little alarmed.
« Don't say how you are — it's presumption in any man,'
(
-
cried Lotus. Nevertheless, be as you may, I'll cure you if you'll
give attention to my remedy. '
«I'll give my whole soul to it,' exclaimed Pugwash.
««Very good, very good; I like your earnestness: but I don't
want all your soul,' said Father Lotus smiling,-'I want only
part of it; that, if you confide in me, I can take from you with
no danger,-ay, with less peril than the pricking of a whitlow.
Now then, for examination. Now to have a good stare at this
soul of yours. ' Here Father Lotus gently removed the white
cat from his knee,- for he had been patting her all the time he
talked,- and turned full round upon Pugwash. “Turn out your
breeches pockets,' said Lotus; and the tractable Pugwash imme-
diately displayed the linings. So! ' cried Lotus, looking narrowly
at the brown holland whereof they were made, very bad indeed;
very bad: never knew a soul in a worse state in all my life. '
Pugwash looked at his pockets, and then at the conjurer; he
was about to speak, but the fixed, earnest look of Father Lotus
held him in respectful silence.
>
(
## p. 8264 (#464) ###########################################
8264
DOUGLAS JERROLD
« Yes, yes,' said the wizard, still eying the brown holland,
I can see it all: a vagabond soul; a soul wandering here and
there, like a pauper without a settlement; a ragamuffin soul. ”
"Pugwash found confidence and breath. Was there ever
such a joke ? he cried: know a man's soul by the linings
of his breeches pockets! ) and Pugwash laughed, albeit uncom-
fortably.
“Father Lotus looked at the man with philosophic compas-
sion. Ha, my good friend! ” he said, that all comes of your
ignorance of moral anatomy. '
"Well, but, Father Lotus-
« (Peace! ' said the wizard, and answer me. You'd have this
soul of yours cured? '
« If there's anything the matter with it,' answered Pugwash.
'Though not of any conceit I speak it, yet I think it as sweet
and as healthy a soul as the souls of my neighbors. I never did
wrong to anybody. '
« Pooh! ) cried Father Lotus.
«I never denied credit to the hungry,' continued Pugwash.
« Fiddle-de-dee! ' said the wizard very nervously.
« I never laid out a penny in law upon a customer; I never
refused small beer to-
«<< Silence! ' cried Father Lotus: don't offend philosophy by
thus bragging of your follies. You are in a perilous condition;
still you may be saved. At this very moment, I much fear
it, gangrene has touched your soul; nevertheless, I can separate
the sound from the mortified parts, and start you new again as
though your lips were first wet with mother's milk. )
Pugwash merely said, — for the wizard began to awe him,-
I'm very much obliged to you. '
«Now,' said Lotus, answer a few questions, and then I'll
proceed to the cure. What do you think of money?
«A very nice thing,' said Pugwash, though I can do with
as little of it as most folks. '
“Father Lotus shook his head. Well, and the world about
(
you ? ?
«<A beautiful world,' said Pugwash; 'only the worst of it is,
I can't leave the shop as often as I would, to enjoy it. I'm shut
in all day long, I may say, a prisoner to brick-dust, herrings, and
bacon.
Sometimes when the sun shines and the cobbler's lark
over the way sings as if he'd split his pipe, why then, do you
## p. 8265 (#465) ###########################################
DOUGLAS JERROLD
8265
know, I do so long to get into the fields; I do hunger for a bit
of grass like any cow. '
« The wizard looked almost hopelessly on Pugwash. (And
that's your religion and business? Infidel of the counter! Saracen
of the till! However — patience,' said Lotus, and let us con-
clude. — And the men and women of the world, what do you
think of them ? )
«God bless 'em, poor souls! ' said Pugwash. It's a sad
scramble some of 'em have, isn't it? '
« Well,' said the conjurer, for a tradesman, your soul is in
a wretched condition. However, it is not so hopelessly bad that
I may not yet make it profitable to you. I must cure it of its
vagabond desires, and above all make it respectful of money.
You will take this book. ) Here Lotus took a little volume from
a cupboard, and placed it in the hand of Pugwash. Lay it
under your pillow every night for a week, and on the eighth
morning let me see you. '
«Come, there's nothing easier than that,' said Pugwash with
a smile; and reverently putting the volume in his pocket (the
book was closed by metal clasps, curiously chased), he descended
the garret stairs of the conjurer.
“On the morning of the eighth day Pugwash again stood
before Lotus.
« How do you feel now? ' asked the conjurer with a knowing
look.
"I haven't opened the book — 'tis just as I took it,' said Pug-
wash, making no further answer.
«I know that,' said Lotus: the clasps be thanked for your
ignorance. Pugwash slightly colored; for to say the truth, both
he and his wife had vainly pulled and tugged, and fingered
and coaxed the clasps, that they might look upon the necro-
mantic page. “Well, the book has worked, said the conjurer;
I have it. "
« Have it! what? ) asked Pugwash.
«« Your soul,' answered the sorcerer. In all my practice, he
added gravely, I never had a soul come into my hands in worse
condition. '
« Impossible! ' cried Pugwash. If my soul is as you say,
'
(
in your own hands, how is it that I'm alive? How is it that I
can eat, drink, sleep, walk, talk, do everything, just like anybody
else ? )
(
(
## p. 8266 (#466) ###########################################
8266
DOUGLAS JERROLD
(
-
.
« Ha! ' said Lotus, (that's a common mistake. Thousands
and thousands would swear, ay, as they'd swear to their own
noses, that they have their souls in their own possession: bless
you,' and the conjurer laughed maliciously, it's a popular error.
Their souls are altogether out of 'em. '
«Well,' said Pugwash, if it's true that you have indeed my
soul, I should like to have a look at it. '
« (In good time,' said the conjurer, “I'll bring it to your
house and put it in its proper lodging. In another week I'll
bring it to you: 'twill then be strong enough to bear removal. '
« (And what am I to do all the time without it? asked
Pugwash in a tone of banter. Come,' said he, still jesting, if
you really have my soul, what's it like? What's its color? - if
indeed souls have colors. '
“Green - green as a grasshopper, when it first came into
my hands,' said the wizard; 'but 'tis changing daily. More: it
was a skipping, chirping, giddy soul; 'tis every hour mending.
In a week's time, I tell you, it will be fit for the business of the
world.
«And pray, good father,--for the matter has till now escaped
me, -- what am I to pay you for this pain and trouble; for this
precious care of my miserable soul? '
« <
Nothing,' answered Lotus, nothing whatever. The work
is too nice and precious to be paid for; I have a reward you
dream not of for my labor. Think you that men's immortal
souls are to be mended like iron pots, at tinker's price? Oh
no! they who meddle with souls go for higher wages. '
"After further talk Pugwash departed, the conjurer promising
to bring him home his soul at midnight that night week. It
seemed strange to Pugwash, as the time passed on, that he never
seemed to miss his soul; that in very truth he went through the
labors of the day with even better gravity than when his soul
possessed him. And more: he began to feel himself more at
home in his shop; the cobbler's lark over the way continued to
sing, but awoke in Isaac's heart no thought of the fields; and
then for flowers and plants, why, Isaac began to think such mat-
ters fitter the thoughts of children and foolish girls than the
attention of grown men, with the world before them. Even Mrs.
Pugwash saw an alteration in her husband; and though to him
she said nothing, she returned thanks to her own sagacity that
made him seek the conjurer.
## p. 8267 (#467) ###########################################
DOUGLAS JERROLD
8267
(
"At length the night arrived when Lotus had promised to
bring home the soul of Pugwash. He sent his wife to bed, and
sat with his eyes upon the Dutch clock, anxiously awaiting the
conjurer. Twelve o'clock struck, and at the same moment Father
Lotus smote the door-post of Isaac Pugwash.
« Have you brought it? ' asked Pugwash.
« (Or wherefore should I come ? ' said Lotus. 'Quick: show a
light to the till, that your soul may find itself at home. '
« « The till! ' cried Pugwash; 'what the devil should my soul
do in the till ? )
« «Speak not irreverently,' said the conjurer, but show a
light. '
« May I live forever in darkness if I do! cried Pugwash.
“It is no matter,' said the conjurer; and then he cried,
'Soul, to your earthly dwelling-place! Seek it-you know it. '
Then turning to Pugwash, Lotus said, It is all right. Your
soul's in the till. )
« (How did it get there? ' cried Pugwash in amazement.
« Through the slit in the counter,' said the onjurer; and ere
Pugwash could speak again, the conjurer had quitted the shop.
“For some minutes Pugwash felt himself afraid to stir. For
the first time in his life he felt himself ill at ease, left as he was
with no other company save his own soul. He at length took
heart, and went behind the counter that he might see if his soul
was really in the till. With trembling hand he drew the coffer,
and there, to his amazement, squatted like a tailor upon a crown
piece, did Pugwash behold his own soul, which cried out to him
in notes no louder than a cricket's, “How are you? I am com-
fortable. '
“It was a strange yet pleasing sight to Pugwash, to behold
what he felt to be his own soul embodied in a figure no bigger
than the top joint of his thumb. There it was, a stark-naked
thing with the precise features of Pugwash; albeit the complex-
ion was of a yellower hue. The conjurer said it was green,'
cried Pugwash: as I live, if that be my soul - and I begin
to feel a strange, odd love for it — it is yellow as a guinea, .
Ha! ha! Pretty, precious, darling soul! ' cried Pugwash, as the
creature took up every piece of coin in the till, and rang it with
such a look of rascally cunning, that sure I am Pugwash would
in past times have hated the creature for the trick.
day Pugwash became fonder and fonder of the creature in the
But every
## p. 8268 (#468) ###########################################
8268
DOUGLAS JERROLD
till: it was to him such a counselor and such a blessing. When-
ever the old flower-man came to the door, the soul of Pugwash
from the till would bid him pack with his rubbish; if a poor
woman - an old customer it might be — begged for the credit
of a loaf, the Spirit of the Till, calling through the slit in the
counter, would command Pugwash to deny her. More: Pugwash
never again took a bad shilling. No sooner did he throw the
pocket-piece down upon the counter than the voice from the till
would denounce its worthlessness. And the soul of Pugwash
never quitted the till. There it lived, feeding upon the color of
money, and capering and rubbing its small scoundrel hands in
glee as the coin dropped -- dropped in. In time the soul of Pug.
wash grew too big for so small a habitation, and then Pugwash
moved his soul into an iron box; and some time after he sent
his soul to his banker's, the thing had waxed so big and strong
on gold and silver. ”
"And so,” said we, « the man flourished, and the conjurer
took no wages for all he did to the soul of Pugwash ? ”
“Hear the end,” said the Hermit. « For some time it was
a growing pleasure to Pugwash to look at his soul, busy as it
always was with the world-buying metals. At length he grew
old, very old; and every day his soul grew uglier. Then he
hated to look upon it; and then his soul would come to him,
and grin its deformity at him. Pugwash died, almost rich as an
Indian king; but he died shrieking in his madness to be saved
from the terrors of his own soul. ”
"And such the end, we said; "such the Tragedy of the Till?
A strange romance. ”
«Romance! ” said the Sage of Bellyfule: "sir, 'tis a story true
as life.
For at this very moment how many thousands, blind and
deaf to the sweet looks and voice of nature, live and die with
their souls in a Till! »
(
(
## p.
