I am
beginning
to feel my bottom getting very sore, my dear
little coax, coax.
little coax, coax.
Aristophanes
.
.
.
and there keep your eye on the torch, which is to be the
signal. When the spectators demand it to be flung, fling yourself . . .
DIONYSUS. Where?
HERACLES. . . . down.
DIONYSUS. But I should break the two hemispheres of my brain. Thanks for
your road, but I don't want it.
HERACLES. But which one then?
DIONYSUS. The one you once travelled yourself.
HERACLES. Ah! that's a long journey. First you will reach the edge of the
vast, deep mere of Acheron.
DIONYSUS. And how is that to be crossed?
HERACLES. There is an ancient ferryman, Charon by name, who will pass you
over in his little boat for a diobolus.
DIONYSUS. Oh! what might the diobolus has everywhere! But however has it
got as far as that?
HERACLES. 'Twas Theseus who introduced its vogue. [407] After that you
will see snakes and all sorts of fearful monsters . . .
DIONYSUS. Oh! don't try to frighten me and make me afraid, for I am quite
decided.
HERACLES. . . . then a great slough with an eternal stench, a veritable
cesspool, into which those are plunged who have wronged a guest, cheated
a young boy out of the fee for his complaisance, beaten their mother,
boxed their father's ears, taken a false oath or transcribed some tirade
of Morsimus. [408]
DIONYSUS. For mercy's sake, add likewise--or learnt the Pyrrhic dance of
Cinesias. [409]
HERACLES. Further on 'twill be a gentle concert of flutes on every side,
a brilliant light, just as there is here, myrtle groves, bands of happy
men and women and noisy plaudits.
DIONYSUS. Who are these happy folk?
HERACLES. The initiate. [410]
XANTHIAS. And I am the ass that carries the Mysteries;[411] but I've had
enough of it.
HERACLES. They will give you all the information you will need, for they
live close to Pluto's palace, indeed on the road that leads to it.
Farewell, brother, and an agreeable journey to you. (_He returns into his
Temple. _)
DIONYSUS. And you, good health. Slave! take up your load again.
XANTHIAS. Before having laid it down?
DIONYSUS. And be quick about it too.
XANTHIAS. Oh, no, I adjure you! Rather hire one of the dead, who is going
to Hades.
DIONYSUS. And should I not find one. . . .
XANTHIAS. Then you can take me.
DIONYSUS. You talk sense. Ah! here they are just bringing a dead man
along. Hi! man, 'tis you I'm addressing, you, dead fellow there! Will you
carry a package to Pluto for me?
DEAD MAN. Is't very heavy?
DIONYSUS. This. (_He shows him the baggage, which Xanthias has laid on
the ground. _)
DEAD MAN. You will pay me two drachmae.
DIONYSUS. Oh! that's too dear.
DEAD MAN. Well then, bearers, move on.
DIONYSUS. Stay, friend, so that I may bargain with you.
DEAD MAN. Give me two drachmae, or it's no deal.
DIONYSUS. Hold! here are nine obols.
DEAD MAN. I would sooner go back to earth again.
XANTHIAS. Is that cursed rascal putting on airs? Come, then, I'll go.
DIONYSUS. You're a good and noble fellow. Let us make the best of our way
to the boat.
CHARON. Ahoy, ahoy! put ashore.
XANTHIAS. What's that?
DIONYSUS. Why, by Zeus, 'tis the mere of which Heracles spoke, and I see
the boat.
XANTHIAS. Ah! there's Charon.
DIONYSUS. Hail! Charon.
DEAD MAN. Hail! Charon.
CHARON. Who comes hither from the home of cares and misfortunes to rest
on the banks of Lethe? Who comes to the ass's fleece, who is for the land
of the Cerberians, or the crows, or Taenarus?
DIONYSUS. I am.
CHARON. Get aboard quick then.
DIONYSUS. Where will you ferry me to? Where are you going to land me?
CHARON. In hell, if you wish. But step in, do.
DIONYSUS. Come here, slave.
CHARON. I carry no slave, unless he has fought at sea to save his skin.
XANTHIAS. But I could not, for my eyes were bad.
CHARON. Well then! be off and walk round the mere.
XANTHIAS. Where shall I come to a halt?
CHARON. At the stone of Auaenus, near the drinking-shop.
DIONYSUS. Do you understand?
XANTHIAS. Perfectly. Oh! unhappy wretch that I am, surely, surely I must
have met something of evil omen as I came out of the house? [412]
CHARON. Come, sit to your oar. If there be anyone else who wants to
cross, let him hurry. Hullo! what are you doing?
DIONYSUS. What am I doing? I am sitting on the oar[413] as you told me.
CHARON. Will you please have the goodness to place yourself there,
pot-belly?
DIONYSUS. There.
CHARON. Put out your hands, stretch your arms.
DIONYSUS. There.
CHARON. No tomfoolery! row hard, and put some heart into the work!
DIONYSUS. Row! and how can I? I, who have never set foot on a ship?
CHARON. There's nothing easier; and once you're at work, you will hear
some enchanting singers.
DIONYSUS. Who are they?
CHARON. Frogs with the voices of swans; 'tis most delightful.
DIONYSUS. Come, set the stroke.
CHARON. Yo ho! yo ho!
FROGS. Brekekekex, coax, coax, brekekekekex, coax. Slimy offspring of the
marshland, let our harmonious voices mingle with the sounds of the flute,
coax, coax! let us repeat the songs that we sing in honour of the Nysaean
Dionysus[414] on the day of the feast of pots,[415] when the drunken
throng reels towards our temple in the Limnae. [416] Brekekekex, coax,
coax.
DIONYSUS.
I am beginning to feel my bottom getting very sore, my dear
little coax, coax.
FROGS. Brekekekex, coax, coax.
DIONYSUS. But doubtless you don't care.
FROGS. Brekekekex, coax, coax.
DIONYSUS. May you perish with your coax, your endless coax!
FROGS. And why change it, you great fool? I am beloved by the Muses with
the melodious lyre, by the goat-footed Pan, who draws soft tones out of
his reed; I am the delight of Apollo, the god of the lyre, because I make
the rushes, which are used for the bridge of the lyre, grow in my
marshes. Brekekekex, coax, coax.
DIONYSUS. I have got blisters and my behind is all of a sweat; by dint of
constant movement, it will soon be saying. . . .
FROGS. Brekekekex, coax, coax.
DIONYSUS. Come, race of croakers, be quiet.
FROGS. Not we; we shall only cry the louder. On fine sunny days, it
pleases us to hop through galingale and sedge and to sing while we swim;
and when Zeus is pouring down his rain, we join our lively voices to the
rustle of the drops. Brekekekex, coax, coax.
DIONYSUS. I forbid you to do it.
FROGS. Oh! that would be too hard!
DIONYSUS. And is it not harder for me to wear myself out with rowing?
FROGS. Brekekekex, coax, coax.
DIONYSUS. May you perish! I don't care.
FROGS. And from morning till night we will shriek with the whole width of
our gullets, "Brekekekex, coax, coax. "
DIONYSUS. I will cry louder than you all.
FROGS. Oh! don't do that!
DIONYSUS. Oh, yes, I will. I shall cry the whole day, if necessary, until
I no longer hear your coax. (_He begins to cry against the frogs, who
finally stop. _) Ah! I knew I would soon put an end to your coax.
CHARON. Enough, enough, a last pull, ship oars, step ashore and pay your
passage money.
DIONYSUS. Look! here are my two obols. . . . Xanthias! where is Xanthias?
Hi! Xanthias!
XANTHIAS (_from a distance_). Hullo!
DIONYSUS. Come here.
XANTHIAS. I greet you, master.
DIONYSUS. What is there that way?
XANTHIAS. Darkness and mud!
DIONYSUS. Did you see the parricides and the perjured he told us of?
XANTHIAS. Did you?
DIONYSUS. Ha! by Posidon! I see some of them now. [417] Well, what are we
going to do?
XANTHIAS. The best is to go on, for 'tis here that the horrible monsters
are, Heracles told us of.
DIONYSUS. Ah! the wag! He spun yarns to frighten me, but I am a brave
fellow and he is jealous of me. There exists no greater braggart than
Heracles. Ah! I wish I might meet some monster, so as to distinguish
myself by some deed of daring worthy of my daring journey.
XANTHIAS. Ah! hark! I hear a noise.
DIONYSUS (_all of a tremble_). Where then, where?
XANTHIAS. Behind you.
DIONYSUS. Place yourself behind me.
XANTHIAS. Ah! 'tis in front now.
DIONYSUS. Then pass to the front.
XANTHIAS. Oh! what a monster I can see!
DIONYSUS. What's it like?
XANTHIAS. Dreadful, terrible! it assumes every shape; now 'tis a bull,
then a mule; again it is a most beautiful woman.
DIONYSUS. Where is she that I may run toward her?
XANTHIAS. The monster is no longer a woman; 'tis now a dog.
DIONYSUS. Then it is the Empusa. [418]
XANTHIAS. Its whole face is ablaze.
DIONYSUS. And it has a brazen leg?
XANTHIAS. Aye, i' faith! and the other is an ass's leg,[419] rest well
assured of that.
DIONYSUS. Where shall I fly to?
XANTHIAS. And I?
DIONYSUS. Priest,[420] save me, that I may drink with you.
XANTHIAS. Oh! mighty Heracles! we are dead men.
DIONYSUS. Silence! I adjure you. Don't utter that name.
XANTHIAS. Well then, we are dead men, Dionysus!
DIONYSUS. That still less than the other.
XANTHIAS. Keep straight on, master, here, here, this way.
DIONYSUS. Well?
XANTHIAS. Be at ease, all goes well and we can say with Hegelochus,
"After the storm, I see the return of the _cat_. "[421] The Empusa has
gone.
DIONYSUS. Swear it to me.
XANTHIAS. By Zeus!
DIONYSUS. Swear it again.
XANTHIAS. By Zeus!
DIONYSUS. Once more.
XANTHIAS. By Zeus!
DIONYSUS. Oh! my god! how white I went at the sight of the Empusa! But
yonder fellow got red instead, so horribly afraid was he! [422] Alas! to
whom do I owe this terrible meeting? What god shall I accuse of having
sought my death? Might it be "the Aether, the dwelling of Zeus," or "the
wing of Time"? [423]
XANTHIAS. Hist!
DIONYSUS. What's the matter?
XANTHIAS. Don't you hear?
DIONYSUS. What then?
XANTHIAS. The sound of flutes.
DIONYSUS. Aye, certainly, and the wind wafts a smell of torches hither,
which bespeaks the Mysteries a league away. But make no noise; let us
hide ourselves and listen.
CHORUS. [424] Iacchus, oh! Iacchus! Iacchus, oh! Iacchus!
XANTHIAS. Master, these are the initiates, of whom Heracles spoke and who
are here at their sports; they are incessantly singing of Iacchus, just
like Diagoras. [425]
DIONYSUS. I believe you are right, but 'tis best to keep ourselves quiet
till we get better information.
CHORUS. Iacchus, venerated god, hasten at our call. Iacchus, oh! Iacchus!
come into this meadow, thy favourite resting-place; come to direct the
sacred choirs of the Initiate; may a thick crown of fruit-laden myrtle
branches rest on thy head and may thy bold foot step this free and joyful
dance, taught us by the Graces--this pure, religious measure, that our
sacred choirs rehearse.
XANTHIAS.
signal. When the spectators demand it to be flung, fling yourself . . .
DIONYSUS. Where?
HERACLES. . . . down.
DIONYSUS. But I should break the two hemispheres of my brain. Thanks for
your road, but I don't want it.
HERACLES. But which one then?
DIONYSUS. The one you once travelled yourself.
HERACLES. Ah! that's a long journey. First you will reach the edge of the
vast, deep mere of Acheron.
DIONYSUS. And how is that to be crossed?
HERACLES. There is an ancient ferryman, Charon by name, who will pass you
over in his little boat for a diobolus.
DIONYSUS. Oh! what might the diobolus has everywhere! But however has it
got as far as that?
HERACLES. 'Twas Theseus who introduced its vogue. [407] After that you
will see snakes and all sorts of fearful monsters . . .
DIONYSUS. Oh! don't try to frighten me and make me afraid, for I am quite
decided.
HERACLES. . . . then a great slough with an eternal stench, a veritable
cesspool, into which those are plunged who have wronged a guest, cheated
a young boy out of the fee for his complaisance, beaten their mother,
boxed their father's ears, taken a false oath or transcribed some tirade
of Morsimus. [408]
DIONYSUS. For mercy's sake, add likewise--or learnt the Pyrrhic dance of
Cinesias. [409]
HERACLES. Further on 'twill be a gentle concert of flutes on every side,
a brilliant light, just as there is here, myrtle groves, bands of happy
men and women and noisy plaudits.
DIONYSUS. Who are these happy folk?
HERACLES. The initiate. [410]
XANTHIAS. And I am the ass that carries the Mysteries;[411] but I've had
enough of it.
HERACLES. They will give you all the information you will need, for they
live close to Pluto's palace, indeed on the road that leads to it.
Farewell, brother, and an agreeable journey to you. (_He returns into his
Temple. _)
DIONYSUS. And you, good health. Slave! take up your load again.
XANTHIAS. Before having laid it down?
DIONYSUS. And be quick about it too.
XANTHIAS. Oh, no, I adjure you! Rather hire one of the dead, who is going
to Hades.
DIONYSUS. And should I not find one. . . .
XANTHIAS. Then you can take me.
DIONYSUS. You talk sense. Ah! here they are just bringing a dead man
along. Hi! man, 'tis you I'm addressing, you, dead fellow there! Will you
carry a package to Pluto for me?
DEAD MAN. Is't very heavy?
DIONYSUS. This. (_He shows him the baggage, which Xanthias has laid on
the ground. _)
DEAD MAN. You will pay me two drachmae.
DIONYSUS. Oh! that's too dear.
DEAD MAN. Well then, bearers, move on.
DIONYSUS. Stay, friend, so that I may bargain with you.
DEAD MAN. Give me two drachmae, or it's no deal.
DIONYSUS. Hold! here are nine obols.
DEAD MAN. I would sooner go back to earth again.
XANTHIAS. Is that cursed rascal putting on airs? Come, then, I'll go.
DIONYSUS. You're a good and noble fellow. Let us make the best of our way
to the boat.
CHARON. Ahoy, ahoy! put ashore.
XANTHIAS. What's that?
DIONYSUS. Why, by Zeus, 'tis the mere of which Heracles spoke, and I see
the boat.
XANTHIAS. Ah! there's Charon.
DIONYSUS. Hail! Charon.
DEAD MAN. Hail! Charon.
CHARON. Who comes hither from the home of cares and misfortunes to rest
on the banks of Lethe? Who comes to the ass's fleece, who is for the land
of the Cerberians, or the crows, or Taenarus?
DIONYSUS. I am.
CHARON. Get aboard quick then.
DIONYSUS. Where will you ferry me to? Where are you going to land me?
CHARON. In hell, if you wish. But step in, do.
DIONYSUS. Come here, slave.
CHARON. I carry no slave, unless he has fought at sea to save his skin.
XANTHIAS. But I could not, for my eyes were bad.
CHARON. Well then! be off and walk round the mere.
XANTHIAS. Where shall I come to a halt?
CHARON. At the stone of Auaenus, near the drinking-shop.
DIONYSUS. Do you understand?
XANTHIAS. Perfectly. Oh! unhappy wretch that I am, surely, surely I must
have met something of evil omen as I came out of the house? [412]
CHARON. Come, sit to your oar. If there be anyone else who wants to
cross, let him hurry. Hullo! what are you doing?
DIONYSUS. What am I doing? I am sitting on the oar[413] as you told me.
CHARON. Will you please have the goodness to place yourself there,
pot-belly?
DIONYSUS. There.
CHARON. Put out your hands, stretch your arms.
DIONYSUS. There.
CHARON. No tomfoolery! row hard, and put some heart into the work!
DIONYSUS. Row! and how can I? I, who have never set foot on a ship?
CHARON. There's nothing easier; and once you're at work, you will hear
some enchanting singers.
DIONYSUS. Who are they?
CHARON. Frogs with the voices of swans; 'tis most delightful.
DIONYSUS. Come, set the stroke.
CHARON. Yo ho! yo ho!
FROGS. Brekekekex, coax, coax, brekekekekex, coax. Slimy offspring of the
marshland, let our harmonious voices mingle with the sounds of the flute,
coax, coax! let us repeat the songs that we sing in honour of the Nysaean
Dionysus[414] on the day of the feast of pots,[415] when the drunken
throng reels towards our temple in the Limnae. [416] Brekekekex, coax,
coax.
DIONYSUS.
I am beginning to feel my bottom getting very sore, my dear
little coax, coax.
FROGS. Brekekekex, coax, coax.
DIONYSUS. But doubtless you don't care.
FROGS. Brekekekex, coax, coax.
DIONYSUS. May you perish with your coax, your endless coax!
FROGS. And why change it, you great fool? I am beloved by the Muses with
the melodious lyre, by the goat-footed Pan, who draws soft tones out of
his reed; I am the delight of Apollo, the god of the lyre, because I make
the rushes, which are used for the bridge of the lyre, grow in my
marshes. Brekekekex, coax, coax.
DIONYSUS. I have got blisters and my behind is all of a sweat; by dint of
constant movement, it will soon be saying. . . .
FROGS. Brekekekex, coax, coax.
DIONYSUS. Come, race of croakers, be quiet.
FROGS. Not we; we shall only cry the louder. On fine sunny days, it
pleases us to hop through galingale and sedge and to sing while we swim;
and when Zeus is pouring down his rain, we join our lively voices to the
rustle of the drops. Brekekekex, coax, coax.
DIONYSUS. I forbid you to do it.
FROGS. Oh! that would be too hard!
DIONYSUS. And is it not harder for me to wear myself out with rowing?
FROGS. Brekekekex, coax, coax.
DIONYSUS. May you perish! I don't care.
FROGS. And from morning till night we will shriek with the whole width of
our gullets, "Brekekekex, coax, coax. "
DIONYSUS. I will cry louder than you all.
FROGS. Oh! don't do that!
DIONYSUS. Oh, yes, I will. I shall cry the whole day, if necessary, until
I no longer hear your coax. (_He begins to cry against the frogs, who
finally stop. _) Ah! I knew I would soon put an end to your coax.
CHARON. Enough, enough, a last pull, ship oars, step ashore and pay your
passage money.
DIONYSUS. Look! here are my two obols. . . . Xanthias! where is Xanthias?
Hi! Xanthias!
XANTHIAS (_from a distance_). Hullo!
DIONYSUS. Come here.
XANTHIAS. I greet you, master.
DIONYSUS. What is there that way?
XANTHIAS. Darkness and mud!
DIONYSUS. Did you see the parricides and the perjured he told us of?
XANTHIAS. Did you?
DIONYSUS. Ha! by Posidon! I see some of them now. [417] Well, what are we
going to do?
XANTHIAS. The best is to go on, for 'tis here that the horrible monsters
are, Heracles told us of.
DIONYSUS. Ah! the wag! He spun yarns to frighten me, but I am a brave
fellow and he is jealous of me. There exists no greater braggart than
Heracles. Ah! I wish I might meet some monster, so as to distinguish
myself by some deed of daring worthy of my daring journey.
XANTHIAS. Ah! hark! I hear a noise.
DIONYSUS (_all of a tremble_). Where then, where?
XANTHIAS. Behind you.
DIONYSUS. Place yourself behind me.
XANTHIAS. Ah! 'tis in front now.
DIONYSUS. Then pass to the front.
XANTHIAS. Oh! what a monster I can see!
DIONYSUS. What's it like?
XANTHIAS. Dreadful, terrible! it assumes every shape; now 'tis a bull,
then a mule; again it is a most beautiful woman.
DIONYSUS. Where is she that I may run toward her?
XANTHIAS. The monster is no longer a woman; 'tis now a dog.
DIONYSUS. Then it is the Empusa. [418]
XANTHIAS. Its whole face is ablaze.
DIONYSUS. And it has a brazen leg?
XANTHIAS. Aye, i' faith! and the other is an ass's leg,[419] rest well
assured of that.
DIONYSUS. Where shall I fly to?
XANTHIAS. And I?
DIONYSUS. Priest,[420] save me, that I may drink with you.
XANTHIAS. Oh! mighty Heracles! we are dead men.
DIONYSUS. Silence! I adjure you. Don't utter that name.
XANTHIAS. Well then, we are dead men, Dionysus!
DIONYSUS. That still less than the other.
XANTHIAS. Keep straight on, master, here, here, this way.
DIONYSUS. Well?
XANTHIAS. Be at ease, all goes well and we can say with Hegelochus,
"After the storm, I see the return of the _cat_. "[421] The Empusa has
gone.
DIONYSUS. Swear it to me.
XANTHIAS. By Zeus!
DIONYSUS. Swear it again.
XANTHIAS. By Zeus!
DIONYSUS. Once more.
XANTHIAS. By Zeus!
DIONYSUS. Oh! my god! how white I went at the sight of the Empusa! But
yonder fellow got red instead, so horribly afraid was he! [422] Alas! to
whom do I owe this terrible meeting? What god shall I accuse of having
sought my death? Might it be "the Aether, the dwelling of Zeus," or "the
wing of Time"? [423]
XANTHIAS. Hist!
DIONYSUS. What's the matter?
XANTHIAS. Don't you hear?
DIONYSUS. What then?
XANTHIAS. The sound of flutes.
DIONYSUS. Aye, certainly, and the wind wafts a smell of torches hither,
which bespeaks the Mysteries a league away. But make no noise; let us
hide ourselves and listen.
CHORUS. [424] Iacchus, oh! Iacchus! Iacchus, oh! Iacchus!
XANTHIAS. Master, these are the initiates, of whom Heracles spoke and who
are here at their sports; they are incessantly singing of Iacchus, just
like Diagoras. [425]
DIONYSUS. I believe you are right, but 'tis best to keep ourselves quiet
till we get better information.
CHORUS. Iacchus, venerated god, hasten at our call. Iacchus, oh! Iacchus!
come into this meadow, thy favourite resting-place; come to direct the
sacred choirs of the Initiate; may a thick crown of fruit-laden myrtle
branches rest on thy head and may thy bold foot step this free and joyful
dance, taught us by the Graces--this pure, religious measure, that our
sacred choirs rehearse.
XANTHIAS.
