No More Learning

"Probably for conduct unbecoming an officer of the Guard? " rejoined my
indefatigable questioner.

"Will you be good enough to stop talking nonsense? " the wife of the
Commandant now said to him. "You can see very well that this young man
is tired with his journey. He has something else to do than to answer
your questions. Hold your hands better. And you, my little father," she
continued, turning to me, "do not bemoan yourself too much because you
have been shoved into our little hole of a place; you are not the first,
and you will not be the last. One may suffer, but one gets accustomed to
it. For instance, Chvabrine, Alexey Ivanytch,[35] was transferred to us
four years ago on account of a murder. Heaven knows what ill-luck befel
him. It happened one day he went out of the town with a lieutenant, and
they had taken swords, and they set to pinking one another, and Alexey
Ivanytch killed the lieutenant, and before a couple of witnesses. Well,
well, there's no heading ill-luck! "

At this moment the "_ouriadnik_," a young and handsome Cossack, came in.

"Maximitch," the Commandant's wife said to him, "find a quarter for this
officer, and a clean one. "

"I obey, Vassilissa Igorofna,"[36] replied the "_ouriadnik_. " "Ought not
his excellency to go to Iwan Polejaieff? "

"You are doting, Maximitch," retorted the Commandant's wife; "Polejaieff
has already little enough room; and, besides, he is my gossip; and then
he does not forget that we are his superiors. Take the gentleman--What
is your name, my little father? "

"Petr' Andrejitch. "

"Take Petr' Andrejitch to Semeon Kouzoff's. The rascal let his horse get
into my kitchen garden. Is everything in order, Maximitch? "

"Thank heaven! all is quiet," replied the Cossack. "Only Corporal
Prokoroff has been fighting in the bathhouse with the woman Oustinia
Pegoulina for a pail of hot water. "

"Iwan Ignatiitch,"[37] said the Commandant's wife to the little one-eyed
man, "you must decide between Prokoroff and Oustinia which is to blame,
and punish both of them; and you, Maximitch, go, in heaven's name! Petr'
Andrejitch, Maximitch will take you to your lodging. "

I took leave. The "_ouriadnik"_ led me to an _izba_, which stood on the
steep bank of the river, quite at the far end of the little fort. Half
the _izba_ was occupied by the family of Semeon Kouzoff, the other half
was given over to me. This half consisted of a tolerably clean room,
divided into two by a partition.

Saveliitch began to unpack, and I looked out of the narrow window. I saw
stretching out before me a bare and dull steppe; on one side there stood
some huts. Some fowls were wandering down the street. An old woman,
standing on a doorstep, holding in her hand a trough, was calling to
some pigs, the pigs replying by amicable grunts.

And it was in such a country as this I was condemned to pass my youth!

Overcome by bitter grief, I left the window, and went to bed supperless,
in spite of Saveliitch's remonstrances, who continued to repeat, in a
miserable tone--

"Oh, good heavens! he does not deign to eat anything. What would my
mistress say if the child should fall ill? "

On the morrow, I had scarcely begun to dress before the door of my room
opened, and a young officer came in. He was undersized, but, in spite of
irregular features, his bronzed face had a remarkably gay and lively
expression.

"I beg your pardon," said he to me in French,[38] "for coming thus
unceremoniously to make your acquaintance. I heard of your arrival
yesterday, and the wish to see at last a human being took such
possession of me that I could not resist any longer. You will understand
that when you have been here some time! "

I easily guessed that this was the officer sent away from the Guard in
consequence of the duel.

We made acquaintance. Chvabrine was very witty. His conversation was
lively and interesting. He described to me, with, much raciness and
gaiety, the Commandant's family, the society of the fort, and, in short,
all the country where my fate had led me.

I was laughing heartily when the same pensioner whom I had seen patching
his uniform in the Commandant's ante-room, came in with an invitation to
dinner for me from Vassilissa Igorofna.

Chvabrine said he should accompany me.

As we drew near the Commandant's house we saw in the square about twenty
little old pensioners, with long pigtails and three-cornered hats. They
were drawn up in line. Before them stood the Commandant, a tall, old
man, still hale, in a dressing-gown and a cotton nightcap.

As soon as he perceived us he came up, said a few pleasant words to me,
and went back to the drill. We were going to stop and see the
manoeuvres, but he begged us to go at once to Vassilissa Igorofna's,
promising to follow us directly. "Here," said he, "there's really
nothing to see. "

Vassilissa Igorofna received us with simplicity and kindness, and
treated me as if she had known me a long time. The pensioner and
Palashka were laying the cloth.

"What possesses my Ivan Kouzmitch to-day to drill his troops so long? "
remarked the Commandant's wife. "Palashka, go and fetch him for dinner.
And what can have become of Masha? "[39]

Hardly had she said the name than a young girl of sixteen came into the
room. She had a fresh, round face, and her hair was smoothly put back
behind her ears, which were red with shyness and modesty. She did not
please me very much at first sight; I looked at her with prejudice.
Chvabrine had described Marya, the Commandant's daughter, to me as being
rather silly. She went and sat down in a corner, and began to sew. Still
the "_chtchi_"[40] had been brought in. Vassilissa Igorofna, not seeing
her husband come back, sent Palashka for the second time to call him.

"Tell the master that the visitors are waiting, and the soup is getting
cold. Thank heaven, the drill will not run away. He will have plenty of
time to shout as much as he likes. "

The Commandant soon appeared, accompanied by the little old one-eyed
man.

"What does all this mean, my little father? " said his wife to him.
"Dinner has been ready a long time, and we cannot make you come. "

"But don't you see, Vassilissa Igorofna," replied Ivan Kouzmitch, "I
was very busy drilling my little soldiers. "

"Nonsense," replied she, "that's only a boast; they are past service,
and you don't know much about it. You should have stayed at home, and
said your prayers; that would have been much better for you. My dear
guests, pray sit down to table. "

We took our places. Vassilissa Igorofna never ceased talking for a
moment, and overwhelmed me with questions. Who were my parents, were
they alive, where did they live, and what was their income? When she
learnt that my father had three hundred serfs--

"Well! " she exclaimed, "there are rich people in this world! And as to
us, my little father, we have as to souls[41] only the servant girl,
Palashka. Well, thank heaven, we get along little by little. We have
only one care on our minds--Masha, a girl who must be married. And what
dowry has she got? A comb and two-pence to pay for a bath twice a year.
If only she could light on some honest man! If not she must remain an
old maid! "

I glanced at Marya Ivanofna. [42] She had become quite red, and tears
were rolling down, even into her plate. I was sorry for her, and I
hastened to change the conversation.

"I have heard," I exclaimed (very much to the point), "that the Bashkirs
intend to attack your fort. "

"Who told you that, my little father? " replied Ivan Kouzmitch.

"I heard it said at Orenburg," replied I.

"That's all rubbish," said the Commandant. "We have not heard a word of
it for ever so long. The Bashkir people have been thoroughly awed, and
the Kirghiz, too, have had some good lessons. They won't dare to attack
us, and if they venture to do so I'll give them such a fright that they
won't stir for ten years at least. "

"And you are not afraid," I continued, addressing the Commandant's wife,
"to stay in a fort liable to such dangers? "

"It's all a question of custom, my little father," answered she. "It's
twenty years ago now since we were transferred from the regiment here.
You would never believe how frightened I used to be of those confounded
Pagans. If ever I chanced to see their hairy caps, or hear their howls,
believe me, my little father, I nearly died of it. And now I am so
accustomed to it that I should not budge an inch if I was told that the
rascals were prowling all around the fort. "

"Vassilissa Igorofna is a very brave lady," remarked Chvabrine, gravely.
"Ivan Kouzmitch knows something of that. "

"Oh! yes, indeed," said Ivan Kouzmitch, "she's no coward. "

"And Marya Ivanofna," I asked her mother, "is she as bold as you? "

"Masha! " replied the lady; "no, Masha is a coward. Till now she has
never been able to hear a gun fired without trembling all over. It is
two years ago now since Ivan Kouzmitch took it into his head to fire his
cannon on my birthday; she was so frightened, the poor little dove, she
nearly ran away into the other world. Since that day we have never fired
that confounded cannon any more. "

We got up from table; the Commandant and his wife went to take their
siesta, and I went to Chvabrine's quarters, where we passed the evening
together.




CHAPTER IV.

THE DUEL.


Several weeks passed, during which my life in Fort Belogorsk became not
merely endurable, but even pleasant. I was received like one of the
family in the household of the Commandant. The husband and wife were
excellent people. Ivan Kouzmitch, who had been a child of the regiment,
had become an officer, and was a simple, uneducated man, but good and
true. His wife led him completely, which, by the way, very well suited
his natural laziness.

It was Vassilissa Igorofna who directed all military business as she
did that of her household, and commanded in the little fort as she did
in her house. Marya Ivanofna soon ceased being shy, and we became better
acquainted. I found her a warm-hearted and sensible girl. By degrees I
became attached to this honest family, even to Iwan Ignatiitch, the
one-eyed lieutenant, whom Chvabrine accused of secret intrigue with
Vassilissa Igorofna, an accusation which had not even a shadow of
probability. But that did not matter to Chvabrine.

I became an officer. My work did not weigh heavily upon me. In this
heaven-blest fort there was no drill to do, no guard to mount, nor
review to pass. Sometimes the Commandant instructed his soldiers for his
own pleasure. But he had not yet succeeded in teaching them to know
their right hand from their left. Chvabrine had some French books; I
took to reading, and I acquired a taste for literature. In the morning I
used to read, and I tried my hand at translations, sometimes even at
compositions in verse. Nearly every day I dined at the Commandant's,
where I usually passed the rest of the day. In the evening, Father
Garasim used to drop in, accompanied by his wife, Akoulina, who was the
sturdiest gossip of the neighbourhood. It is scarcely necessary to say
that every day we met, Chvabrine and I. Still hour by hour his
conversation pleased me less. His everlasting jokes about the
Commandant's family, and, above all, his witty remarks upon Marya
Ivanofna, displeased me very much. I had no other society but that of
this family within the little fort, but I did not want any other.

In spite of all the prophecies, the Bashkirs did not revolt. Peace
reigned around our little fort. But this peace was suddenly troubled by
war within.

I have already said I dabbled a little in literature. My attempts were
tolerable for the time, and Soumarokoff[43] himself did justice to them
many years later. One day I happened to write a little song which
pleased me. It is well-known that under colour of asking advice, authors
willingly seek a benevolent listener; I copied out my little song, and
took it to Chvabrine, the only person in the fort who could appreciate a
poetical work.

After a short preface, I drew my manuscript from my pocket, and read to
him the following verses:[44]

"By waging war with thoughts of love
I try to forget my beauty;
Alas! by flight from Masha,
I hope my freedom to regain!

"But the eyes which enslaved me are ever before me.
My soul have they troubled and ruined my rest.

"Oh! Masha, who knowest my sorrows,
Seeing me in this miserable plight,
Take pity on thy captive. "

"What do you think of that? " I said to Chvabrine, expecting praise as a
tribute due to me. But to my great displeasure Chvabrine, who usually
showed kindness, told me flatly my song was worth nothing.

"Why? " I asked, trying to hide my vexation.

"Because such verses," replied he, "are only worthy of my master
Trediakofski,[45] and, indeed, remind me very much of his little erotic
couplets. "

He took the MSS. from my hand and began unmercifully criticizing each
verse, each word, cutting me up in the most spiteful way. That was too
much for me; I snatched the MSS. out of his hands, and declared that
never, no never, would I ever again show him one of my compositions.
Chvabrine did not laugh the less at this threat.



"Let us see," said he, "if you will be able to keep your word; poets
have as much need of an audience as Ivan Kouzmitch has need of his
'_petit verre_' before dinner. And who is this Masha to whom you declare
your tender sentiments and your ardent flame? Surely it must be Marya
Ivanofna? "

"That does not concern you," replied I, frowning; "I don't ask for your
advice nor your suppositions. "

"Oh! oh! a vain poet and a discreet lover," continued Chvabrine,
irritating me more and more. "Listen to a little friendly advice: if you
wish to succeed, I advise you not to stick at songs. "

"What do you mean, sir? " I exclaimed; "explain yourself if you please. "

"With pleasure," rejoined he. "I mean that if you want to be well with
Masha Mironoff, you need only make her a present of a pair of earrings
instead of your languishing verses. "

My blood boiled.

"Why have you such an opinion of her? " I asked him, restraining with
difficulty my indignation.

"Because," replied he, with a satanic smile, "because I know by
experience her views and habits. "

"You lie, you rascal! " I shouted at him, in fury. "You are a shameless
liar. "

Chvabrine's face changed.

"This I cannot overlook," he said; "you shall give me satisfaction. "

"Certainly, whenever you like," replied I, joyfully; for at that moment
I was ready to tear him in pieces.

I rushed at once to Iwan Ignatiitch, whom I found with a needle in his
hand. In obedience to the order of the Commandant's wife, he was
threading mushrooms to be dried for the winter.

"Ah! Petr' Andrejitch," said he, when he saw me; "you are welcome. On
what errand does heaven send you, if I may presume to ask? "

I told him in a few words that I had quarrelled with Alexey Ivanytch,
and that I begged him, Iwan Ignatiitch, to be my second. Iwan Ignatiitch
heard me till I had done with great attention, opening wide his single
eye.
"You deign to tell me," said he, "that you wish to kill Alexey Ivanytch,
and that I am to be witness? Is not that what you mean, if I may presume
to ask you? "

"Exactly. "

"But, good heavens, Petr' Andrejitch, what folly have you got in your
head? You and Alexey Ivanytch have insulted one another; well, a fine
affair! You needn't wear an insult hung round your neck. He has said
silly things to you, give him some impertinence; he in return will give
you a blow, give him in return a box on the ear; he another, you
another, and then you part. And presently we oblige you to make peace.
Whereas now--is it a good thing to kill your neighbour, if I may presume
to ask you? Even if it were _you_ who should kill _him_! May heaven be
with him, for I do not love him. But if it be he who is to run you
through, you will have made a nice business of it. Who will pay for the
broken pots, allow me to ask? "

The arguments of the prudent officer did not deter me. My resolution
remained firm.

"As you like," said Iwan Ignatiitch, "do as you please; but what good
should I do as witness? People fight; what is there extraordinary in
that, allow me to ask? Thank heaven I have seen the Swedes and the
Turks at close quarters, and I have seen a little of everything. "

I endeavoured to explain to him as best I could the duty of a second,
but I found Iwan Ignatiitch quite unmanageable.

"Do as you like," said he; "if I meddled in the matter, it would be to
go and tell Ivan Kouzmitch, according to the rules of the service, that
a criminal deed is being plotted in the fort, in opposition to the
interests of the crown, and remark to the Commandant how advisable it
would be that he should think of taking the necessary measures. "

I was frightened, and I begged Iwan Ignatiitch not to say anything to
the Commandant. With great difficulty I managed to quiet him, and at
last made him promise to hold his tongue, when I left him in peace.

As usual I passed the evening at the Commandant's. I tried to appear
lively and unconcerned in order not to awaken any suspicions, and avoid
any too curious questions. But I confess I had none of the coolness of
which people boast who have found themselves in the same position. All
that evening I felt inclined to be soft-hearted and sentimental.

Marya Ivanofna pleased me more than usual. The thought that perhaps I
was seeing her for the last time gave her, in my eyes, a touching grace.

Chvabrine came in. I took him aside and told him about my interview with
Iwan Ignatiitch.

"Why any seconds? " he said to me, dryly. "We shall do very well without
them. "

We decided to fight on the morrow behind the haystacks, at six o'clock
in the morning.

Seeing us talking in such a friendly manner, Iwan Ignatiitch, full of
joy, nearly betrayed us.

"You should have done that long ago," he said to me, with a face of
satisfaction. "Better a hollow peace than an open quarrel. "

"What is that you say, Iwan Ignatiitch? " said the Commandant's wife, who
was playing patience in a corner. "I did not exactly catch what you
said. "

Iwan Ignatiitch, who saw my face darken, recollected his promise, became
confused, and did not know what to say. Chvabrine came to the rescue.

"Iwan Ignatiitch," said he, "approves of the compact we have made. "

"And with whom, my little father, did you quarrel? "

"Why, with Petr' Andrejitch, to be sure, and we even got to high words. "

"What for? "

"About a mere trifle, over a little song. "

"Fine thing to quarrel over--a little song! How did it happen? "

"Thus. Petr' Andrejitch lately composed a song, and he began singing it
to me this morning. So I--I struck up mine, 'Captain's daughter, don't
go abroad at dead of night! ' As we did not sing in the same key, Petr'
Andrejitch became angry. But afterwards he reflected that 'every one is
free to sing what he pleases,' and that's all. "

Chvabrine's insolence made me furious, but no one else, except myself,
understood his coarse allusions. Nobody, at least, took up the subject.
From poetry the conversation passed to poets in general, and the
Commandant made the remark that they were all rakes and confirmed
drunkards; he advised me as a friend to give up poetry as a thing
opposed to the service, and leading to no good.

Chvabrine's presence was to me unbearable. I hastened to take leave of
the Commandant and his family. After coming home I looked at my sword; I
tried its point, and I went to bed after ordering Saveliitch to wake me
on the morrow at six o'clock.

On the following day, at the appointed hour, I was already behind the
haystacks, waiting for my foeman. It was not long before he appeared.

"We may be surprised," he said to me; "we must make haste. "

We laid aside our uniforms, and in our waistcoats we drew our swords
from the scabbard.

At this moment Iwan Ignatiitch, followed by five pensioners, came out
from behind a heap of hay. He gave us an order to go at once before the
Commandant. We sulkily obeyed. The soldiers surrounded us, and we
followed Iwan Ignatiitch who brought us along in triumph, walking with
a military step, with majestic gravity.

We entered the Commandant's house. Iwan Ignatiitch threw the door wide
open, and exclaimed, emphatically--

"They are taken! "

Vassilissa Igorofna ran to meet us.

"What does all this mean? Plotting assassination in our very fort! Ivan
Kouzmitch, put them under arrest at once. Petr' Andrejitch, Alexey
Ivanytch, give up your swords, give them up--give them up. Palashka,
take away the swords to the garret. Petr' Andrejitch, I did not expect
this of you; aren't you ashamed of yourself? As to Alexey Ivanytch, it's
different; he was transferred from the Guard for sending a soul into the
other world. He does not believe in our Lord! But do you wish to do
likewise? "

Ivan Kouzmitch approved of all his wife said, repeating--

"Look there, now, Vassilissa Igorofna is quite right--duels are
formally forbidden by martial law. "

Palashka had taken away our swords, and had carried them to the garret.
I could not help laughing. Chvabrine looked grave.

"In spite of all the respect I have for you," he said, coolly, to the
Commandant's wife, "I cannot help remarking that you are giving yourself
useless trouble by trying us at your tribunal. Leave this cure do Ivan
Kouzmitch--it is his business. "

"What! what! my little father! " retorted the Commandant's wife, "are not
husband and wife the same flesh and spirit? Ivan Kouzmitch, are you
trifling? Lock them up separately, and keep them on broad and water till
this ridiculous idea goes out of their heads. And Father Garasim shall
make them do penance that they may ask pardon of heaven and of men. "

Ivan Kouzmitch did not know what to do. Marya Ivanofna was very pale.
Little by little the storm sank. The Commandant's wife became more easy
to deal with. She ordered us to make friends. Palashka brought us back
our swords. We left the house apparently reconciled. Ivan Ignatiitch
accompanied us.

"Weren't you ashamed," I said to him, angrily, "thus to denounce us to
the Commandant after giving me your solemn word not to do so? "

"As God is holy," replied he, "I said nothing to Ivan Kouzmitch; it was
Vassilissa Igorofna who wormed it all out of me. It was she who took all
the necessary measures unknown to the Commandant. As it is, heaven be
praised that it has all ended in this way. "

After this reply he returned to his quarters, and I remained alone with
Chvabrine.

"Our affair can't end thus," I said to him.

"Certainly not," rejoined Chvabrine. "You shall wash out your insolence
in blood. But they will watch us; we must pretend to be friends for a
few days. Good-bye. "

And we parted as if nothing had happened.

Upon my return to the Commandant's, I sat down according to my custom by
Marya Ivanofna; her father was not at home, and her mother was engaged
with household cares. We spoke in a low voice Marya Ivanofna reproached
me tenderly for the anxiety my quarrel with Chvabrine had occasioned
her.

"My heart failed me," said she, "when they came to tell us that you were
going to draw swords on each other. How strange men are! For a word
forgotten the next week they are ready to cut each other's throats, and
to sacrifice not only their life, but their honour, and the happiness of
those who--But I am sure it was not you who began the quarrel; it was
Alexey Ivanytch who was the aggressor. "

"What makes you think so, Marya? "

"Why, because--because he is so sneering. I do not like Alexey Ivanytch;
I even dislike him. Yet, all the same, I should not have liked him to
dislike me; it would have made me very uneasy. "

"And what do you think, Marya Ivanofna, does he dislike you or no? "

Marya Ivanofna looked disturbed, and grew very red.

"I think," she said, at last, "I think he likes me. "

"Why? "

"Because he proposed to me. "

"Proposed to you! When? "

"Last year, two months before you came. "

"And you did not consent? "

"As you see, Alexey Ivanytch is a man of wit, and of good family, to be
sure, well off, too; but only to think of being obliged to kiss him
before everybody under the marriage crown! No, no; nothing in the world
would induce me. "

The words of Marya Ivanofna enlightened me, and made many things clear
to me. I understood now why Chvabrine so persistently followed her up.
He had probably observed our mutual attraction, and was trying to detach
us one from another.

The words which had provoked our quarrel seemed to me the more infamous
when, instead of a rude and coarse joke, I saw in them a premeditated
calumny.

The wish to punish the barefaced liar took more entire possession of me,
and I awaited impatiently a favourable moment. I had not to wait long.
On the morrow, just as I was busy composing an elegy, and I was biting
my pen as I searched for a rhyme, Chvabrine tapped at my window. I laid
down the pen, and I took up my sword and left the house.

"Why delay any longer? " said Chvabrine. "They are not watching us any
more. Let us go to the river-bank; there nobody will interrupt us. "

We started in silence, and after having gone down a rugged path we
halted at the water's edge and crossed swords.

Chvabrine was a better swordsman than I was, but I was stronger and
bolder, and M. Beaupre, who had, among other things, been a soldier, had
given me some lessons in fencing, by which I had profited.

Chvabrine did not in the least expect to find in me such a dangerous
foeman. For a long while we could neither of us do the other any harm,
but at last, noticing that Chvabrine was getting tired, I vigorously
attacked him, and almost forced him backwards into the river.

Suddenly I heard my own name called in a loud voice. I quickly turned my
head, and saw Saveliitch running towards me down the path. At this
moment I felt a sharp prick in the chest, under the right shoulder, and
I fell senseless.




CHAPTER V.

LOVE.


When I came to myself I remained some time without understanding what
had befallen me, nor where I chanced to be. I was in bed in an
unfamiliar room, and I felt very weak indeed. Saveliitch was standing by
me, a light in his hand. Someone was unrolling with care the bandages
round my shoulder and chest. Little by little my ideas grew clearer. I
recollected my duel and guessed without any difficulty that I had been
wounded. At this moment the door creaked slightly on its hinges.

"Well, how is he getting on? " whispered a voice which thrilled through
me.

"Always the same still," replied Saveliitch, sighing; "always
unconscious, as he has now been these four days. "

I wished to turn, but I had not strength to do so.

"Where am I? Who is there? " I said, with difficulty. Marya Ivanofna came
near to my bed and leaned gently over me.

"How do you feel? " she said to me.

"All right, thank God! " I replied in a weak voice. "It is you, Marya
Ivanofna; tell me--"

I could not finish. Saveliitch exclaimed, joy painted on his face--

"He is coming to himself! --he is coming to himself! Oh! thanks be to
heaven! My father Petr' Andrejitch, have you frightened me enough? Four
days! That seems little enough to say, but--"

Marya Ivanofna interrupted him.

"Do not talk to him too much, Saveliitch; he is still very weak. "

She went away, shutting the door carefully.

I felt myself disturbed with confused thoughts. I was evidently in the
house of the Commandant, as Marya Ivanofna could thus come and see me! I
wished to question Saveliitch; but the old man shook his head and turned
a deaf ear. I shut my eyes in displeasure, and soon fell asleep. Upon
waking I called Saveliitch, but in his stead I saw before me Marya
Ivanofna, who greeted me in her soft voice. I cannot describe the
delicious feeling which thrilled through me at this moment, I seized her
hand and pressed it in a transport of delight, while bedewing it with my
tears. Marya did not withdraw it, and all of a sudden I felt upon my
cheek the moist and burning imprint of her lips. A wild flame of love
thrilled through my whole being.

"Dear, good Marya Ivanofna," I said to her, "be my wife. Consent to give
me happiness. "

She became reasonable again.

"For heaven's sake, calm yourself," she said, withdrawing her hand. "You
are still in danger; your wound may reopen; be careful of yourself--were
it only for my sake. "

After these words she went away, leaving me at the height of happiness.
I felt that life was given back to me.

"She will be mine! She loves me! "

This thought filled all my being.