Believing that my success
depended
greatly upon this bunch of hair, I
was bent on having a lock before I left that night let it cost what it
might.
was bent on having a lock before I left that night let it cost what it
might.
Narrative of the Life and Adventures of Henry Bibb, an American Slave, Written
--Hard
Fare. --First Experiments at running away. --Earnest longing for
Freedom. --Abhorrent nature of Slavery. _
I was born May 1815, of a slave mother, in Shelby County, Kentucky,
and was claimed as the property of David White Esq. He came into
possession of my mother long before I was born. I was brought up in
the Counties of Shelby, Henry, Oldham, and Trimble. Or, more correctly
speaking, in the above counties, I may safely say, I was _flogged up_;
for where I should have received moral, mental, and religious
instruction, I received stripes without number, the object of which
was to degrade and keep me in subordination. I can truly say, that I
drank deeply of the bitter cup of suffering and woe. I have been
dragged down to the lowest depths of human degradation and
wretchedness, by Slaveholders.
My mother was known by the name of Milldred Jackson. She is the mother
of seven slaves only, all being sons, of whom I am the eldest. She was
also so fortunate or unfortunate, as to have some of what is called
the slaveholding blood flowing in her veins. I know not how much; but
not enough to prevent her children though fathered by slaveholders,
from being bought and sold in the slave markets of the South. It is
almost impossible for slaves to give a correct account of their male
parentage. All that I know about it is, that my mother informed me
that my fathers name was JAMES BIBB. He was doubtless one of the
present Bibb family of Kentucky; but I have no personal knowledge of
him at all, for he died before my recollection.
The first time I was separated from my mother, I was young and small.
I knew nothing of my condition then as a slave. I was living with Mr.
White, whose wife died and left him a widower with one little girl,
who was said to be the legitimate owner of my mother, and all her
children. This girl was also my playmate when we were children.
I was taken away from my mother, and hired out to labor for various
persons, eight or ten years in succession; and all my wages were
expended for the education of Harriet White, my playmate. It was then
my sorrows and sufferings commenced. It was then I first commenced
seeing and feeling that I was a wretched slave, compelled to work
under the lash without wages, and often without clothes enough to hide
my nakedness. I have often worked without half enough to eat, both
late and early, by day and by night. I have often laid my wearied
limbs down at night to rest upon a dirt floor, or a bench, without any
covering at all, because I had no where else to rest my wearied body,
after having worked hard all the day. I have also been compelled in
early life, to go at the bidding of a tyrant, through all kinds of
weather, hot or cold, wet or dry, and without shoes frequently, until
the month of December, with my bare feet on the cold frosty ground,
cracked open and bleeding as I walked. Reader, believe me when I say,
that no tongue, nor pen ever has or can express the horrors of
American Slavery. Consequently I despair in finding language to
express adequately the deep feeling of my soul, as I contemplate the
past history of my life. But although I have suffered much from the
lash, and for want of food and raiment; I confess that it was no
disadvantage to be passed through the hands of so many families, as
the only source of information that I had to enlighten my mind,
consisted in what I could see and hear from others. Slaves were not
allowed books, pen, ink, nor paper, to improve their minds. But it
seems to me now, that I was particularly observing, and apt to retain
what came under my observation. But more especially, all that I heard
about liberty and freedom to the slaves, I never forgot. Among other
good trades I learned the art of running away to perfection. I made a
regular business of it, and never gave it up, until I had broken the
bands of slavery, and landed myself safely in Canada, where I was
regarded as a man, and not as a thing.
The first time in my life that I ran away, was for ill treatment, in
1835. I was living with a Mr. Vires, in the village of Newcastle. His
wife was a very cross woman. She was every day flogging me, boxing,
pulling my ears, and scolding, so that I dreaded to enter the room
where she was. This first started me to running away from them. I was
often gone several days before I was caught. They would abuse me for
going off, but it did no good. The next time they flogged me, I was
off again; but after awhile they got sick of their bargain, and
returned me back into the hands of my owners. By this time Mr. White
had married his second wife. She was what I call a tyrant. I lived
with her several months, but she kept me almost half of my time in the
woods, running from under the bloody lash. While I was at home she
kept me all the time rubbing furniture, washing, scrubbing the floors;
and when I was not doing this, she would often seat herself in a large
rocking chair, with two pillows about her, and would make me rock her,
and keep off the flies. She was too lazy to scratch her own head, and
would often make me scratch and comb it for her. She would at other
times lie on her bed, in warm weather, and make me fan her while she
slept, scratch and rub her feet; but after awhile she got sick of me,
and preferred a maiden servant to do such business. I was then hired
out again; but by this time I had become much better skilled in
running away, and would make calculation to avoid detection, by taking
with me a bridle. If any body should see me in the woods, as they
have, and asked "what are you doing here sir! you are a runaway! "--I
said, "no, sir, I am looking for our old mare;" at other times,
"looking for our cows. " For such excuses I was let pass. In fact, the
only weapon of self defence that I could use successfully, was that of
deception. It is useless for a poor helpless slave, to resist a white
man in a slaveholding State. Public opinion and the law is against
him; and resistance in many cases is death to the slave, while the law
declares, that he shall submit or die.
The circumstances in which I was then placed, gave me a longing desire
to be free. It kindled a fire of liberty within my breast which has
never yet been quenched. This seemed to be a part of my nature; it was
first revealed to me by the inevitable laws of nature's God. I could
see that the All-wise Creator, had made man a free, moral, intelligent
and accountable being; capable of knowing good and evil. And I
believed then, as I believe now, that every man has a right to wages
for his labor; a right to his own wife and children; a right to
liberty and the pursuit of happiness; and a right to worship God
according to the dictates of his own conscience. But here, in the
light of these truths, I was a slave, a prisoner for life; I could
possess nothing, nor acquire anything but what must belong to my
keeper. No one can imagine my feelings in my reflecting moments, but
he who has himself been a slave. Oh! I have often wept over my
condition, while sauntering through the forest, to escape cruel
punishment.
"No arm to protect me from tyrants aggression;
No parents to cheer me when laden with grief.
Man may picture the bounds of the rocks and the rivers,
The hills and the valleys, the lakes and the ocean,
But the horrors of slavery, he never can trace. "
The term slave to this day sounds with terror to my soul,--a word too
obnoxious to speak--a system too intolerable to be endured. I know
this from long and sad experience. I now feel as if I had just been
aroused from sleep, and looking back with quickened perception at the
state of torment from whence I fled. I was there held and claimed as a
slave; as such I was subjected to the will and power of my keeper, in
all respects whatsoever. That the slave is a human being, no one can
deny. It is his lot to be exposed in common with other men, to the
calamities of sickness, death, and the misfortunes incident to life.
But unlike other men, he is denied the consolation of struggling
against external difficulties, such as destroy the life, liberty, and
happiness of himself and family. A slave may be bought and sold in the
market like an ox. He is liable to be sold off to a distant land from
his family. He is bound in chains hand and foot; and his sufferings
are aggravated a hundred fold, by the terrible thought, that he is not
allowed to struggle against misfortune, corporeal punishment, insults,
and outrages committed upon himself and family; and he is not allowed
to help himself, to resist or escape the blow, which he sees impending
over him.
This idea of utter helplessness, in perpetual bondage, is the more
distressing, as there is no period even with the remotest generation
when it shall terminate.
CHAPTER II.
_A fruitless effort for education. --The Sabbath among
Slaves. --Degrading amusements. --Why religion is rejected. --Condition
of poor white people. --Superstition among slaves. --Education
forbidden_.
In 1833, I had some very serious religious impressions, and there was
quite a number of slaves in that neighborhood, who felt very desirous
to be taught to read the Bible. There was a Miss Davis, a poor white
girl, who offered to teach a Sabbath School for the slaves,
notwithstanding public opinion and the law was opposed to it. Books
were furnished and she commenced the school; but the news soon got to
our owners that she was teaching us to read. This caused quite an
excitement in the neighborhood. Patrols[1] were appointed to go and
break it up the next Sabbath. They were determined that we should not
have a Sabbath School in operation. For slaves this was called an
incendiary movement.
The Sabbath is not regarded by a large number of the slaves as a day
of rest. They have no schools to go to; no moral nor religious
instruction at all in many localities where there are hundreds of
slaves. Hence they resort to some kind of amusement. Those who make no
profession of religion, resort to the woods in large numbers on that
day to gamble, fight, get drunk, and break the Sabbath. This is often
encouraged by slaveholders. When they wish to have a little sport of
that kind, they go among the slaves and give them whiskey, to see them
dance, "pat juber," sing and play on the banjo. Then get them to
wrestling, fighting, jumping, running foot races, and butting each
other like sheep. This is urged on by giving them whiskey; making bets
on them; laying chips on one slave's head, and daring another to tip
it off with his hand; and if he tipped it off, it would be called an
insult, and cause a fight. Before fighting, the parties choose their
seconds to stand by them while fighting; a ring or a circle is formed
to fight in, and no one is allowed to enter the ring while they are
fighting, but their seconds, and the white gentlemen. They are not
allowed to fight a duel, nor to use weapons of any kind. The blows are
made by kicking, knocking, and butting with their heads; they grab
each other by their ears, and jam their heads together like sheep. If
they are likely to hurt each other very bad, their masters would rap
them with their walking canes, and make them stop. After fighting,
they make friends, shake hands, and take a dram together, and there is
no more of it.
But this is all principally for want of moral instruction. This is
where they have no Sabbath Schools; no one to read the Bible to them;
no one to preach the gospel who is competent to expound the
Scriptures, except slaveholders. And the slaves, with but few
exceptions, have no confidence at all in their preaching, because they
preach a pro-slavery doctrine. They say, "Servants be obedient to your
masters;--and he that knoweth his master's will and doeth it not,
shall be beaten with many stripes;--" means that God will send them to
hell, if they disobey their masters. This kind of preaching has driven
thousands into infidelity. They view themselves as suffering unjustly
under the lash, without friends, without protection of law or gospel,
and the green eyed monster tyranny staring them in the face. They know
that they are destined to die in that wretched condition, unless they
are delivered by the arm of Omnipotence. And they cannot believe or
trust in such a religion, as above named.
The poor and loafering class of whites, are about on a par in point of
morals with the slaves at the South. They are generally ignorant,
intemperate, licentious, and profane. They associate much with the
slaves; are often found gambling together on the Sabbath; encouraging
slaves to steal from their owners, and sell to them, corn, wheat,
sheep, chickens, or any thing of the kind which they can well conceal.
For such offences there is no law to reach a slave but lynch law. But
if both parties are caught in the act by a white person, the slave is
punished with the lash, while the white man is often punished with
both lynch and common law. But there is another class of poor white
people in the South, who, I think would be glad to see slavery
abolished in self defence; they despise the institution because it is
impoverishing and degrading to them and their children.
The slave holders are generally rich, aristocratic, overbearing; and
they look with utter contempt upon a poor laboring man, who earns his
bread by the "sweat of his brow," whether he be moral or immoral,
honest or dishonest. No matter whether he is white or black; if he
performs manual labor for a livelihood, he is looked upon as being
inferior to a slaveholder, and but little better off than the slave,
who toils without wages under the lash. It is true, that the
slaveholder, and non-slaveholder, are living under the same laws in
the same State. But the one is rich, the other is poor; one is
educated, the other is uneducated; one has houses, land and influence,
the other has none. This being the case, that class of the
non-slaveholders would be glad to see slavery abolished, but they dare
not speak it aloud.
There is much superstition among the slaves. Many of them believe in
what they call "conjuration," tricking, and witchcraft; and some of
them pretend to understand the art, and say that by it they can
prevent their masters from exercising their will over their slaves.
Such are often applied to by others, to give them power to prevent
their masters from flogging them. The remedy is most generally some
kind of bitter root; they are directed to chew it and spit towards
their masters when they are angry with their slaves. At other times
they prepare certain kinds of powders, to sprinkle about their masters
dwellings. This is all done for the purpose of defending themselves in
some peaceable manner, although I am satisfied that there is no virtue
at all in it. I have tried it to perfection when I was a slave at the
South. I was then a young man, full of life and vigor, and was very
fond of visiting our neighbors slaves, but had no time to visit only
Sundays, when I could get a permit to go, or after night, when I could
slip off without being seen. If it was found out, the next morning I
was called up to give an account of myself for going off without
permission; and would very often get a flogging for it.
I got myself into a scrape at a certain time, by going off in this
way, and I expected to be severely punished for it. I had a strong
notion of running off, to escape being flogged, but was advised by a
friend to go to one of those conjurers, who could prevent me from
being flogged. I went and informed him of the difficulty. He said if I
would pay him a small sum, he would prevent my being flogged. After I
had paid him, he mixed up some alum, salt and other stuff into a
powder, and said I must sprinkle it about my master, if he should
offer to strike me; this would prevent him. He also gave me some kind
of bitter root to chew, and spit towards him, which would certainly
prevent my being flogged. According to order I used his remedy, and
for some cause I was let pass without being flogged that time.
I had then great faith in conjuration and witchcraft. I was led to
believe that I could do almost as I pleased, without being flogged. So
on the next Sabbath my conjuration was fully tested by my going off,
and staying away until Monday morning, without permission. When I
returned home, my master declared that he would punish me for going
off; but I did not believe that he could do it while I had this root
and dust; and as he approached me, I commenced talking saucy to him.
But he soon convinced me that there was no virtue in them. He became
so enraged at me for saucing him, that he grasped a handful of
switches and punished me severely, in spite of all my roots and
powders.
But there was another old slave in that neighborhood, who professed to
understand all about conjuration, and I thought I would try his skill.
He told me that the first one was only a quack, and if I would only
pay him a certain amount in cash, that he would tell me how to prevent
any person from striking me. After I had paid him his charge, he told
me to go to the cow-pen after night, and get some fresh cow manure,
and mix it with red pepper and white people's hair, all to be put into
a pot over the fire, and scorched until it could be ground into snuff.
I was then to sprinkle it about my master's bed-room, in his hat and
boots, and it would prevent him from ever abusing me in any way. After
I got it all ready prepared, the smallest pinch of it scattered over a
room, was enough to make a horse sneeze from the strength of it; but
it did no good. I tried it to my satisfaction. It was my business to
make fires in my master's chamber, night and morning. Whenever I could
get a chance, I sprinkled a little of this dust about the linen of the
bed, where they would breathe it on retiring. This was to act upon
them as what is called a kind of love powder, to change their
sentiments of anger, to those of love, towards me, but this all
proved to be vain imagination. The old man had my money, and I was
treated no better for it.
One night when I went in to make a fire, I availed myself of the
opportunity of sprinkling a very heavy charge of this powder about my
master's bed. Soon after their going to bed, they began to cough and
sneeze. Being close around the house, watching and listening, to know
what the effect would be, I heard them ask each other what in the
world it could be, that made them cough and sneeze so. All the while,
I was trembling with fear, expecting every moment I should be called
and asked if I knew any thing about it. After this, for fear they
might find me out in my dangerous experiments upon them, I had to give
them up, for the time being. I was then convinced that running away
was the most effectual way by which a slave could escape cruel
punishment.
As all the instrumentalities which I as a slave, could bring to bear
upon the system, had utterly failed to palliate my sufferings, all
hope and consolation fled. I must be a slave for life, and suffer
under the lash or die. The influence which this had only tended to
make me more unhappy. I resolved that I would be free if running away
could make me so. I had heard that Canada was a land of liberty,
somewhere in the North; and every wave of trouble that rolled across
my breast, caused me to think more and more about Canada, and liberty.
But more especially after having been flogged, I have fled to the
highest hills of the forest, pressing my way to the North for refuge;
but the river Ohio was my limit. To me it was an impassable gulf. I
had no rod wherewith to smite the stream, and thereby divide the
waters. I had no Moses to go before me and lead the way from bondage
to a promised land. Yet I was in a far worse state than Egyptian
bondage; for they had houses and land; I had none; they had oxen and
sheep; I had none; they had a wise counsel, to tell them what to do,
and where to go, and even to go with them; I had none. I was
surrounded by opposition on every hand. My friends were few and far
between. I have often felt when running away as if I had scarcely a
friend on earth.
Sometimes standing on the Ohio River bluff, looking over on a free
State, and as far north as my eyes could see, I have eagerly gazed
upon the blue sky of the free North, which at times constrained me to
cry out from the depths of my soul, Oh! Canada, sweet land of
rest--Oh! when shall I get there! Oh, that I had the wings of a dove,
that I might soar away to where there is no slavery; no clanking of
chains, no captives, no lacerating of backs, no parting of husbands
and wives; and where man ceases to be the property of his fellow man.
These thoughts have revolved in my mind a thousand times. I have stood
upon the lofty banks of the river Ohio, gazing upon the splendid
steamboats, wafted with all their magnificence up and down the river,
and I thought of the fishes of the water, the fowls of the air, the
wild beasts of the forest, all appeared to be free, to go just where
they pleased, and I was an unhappy slave!
But my attention was gradually turned in a measure from this subject,
by being introduced into the society of young women. This for the time
being took my attention from running away, as waiting on the girls
appeared to be perfectly congenial to my nature. I wanted to be well
thought of by them, and would go to great lengths to gain their
affection. I had been taught by the old superstitious slaves, to
believe in conjuration, and it was hard for me to give up the notion,
for all I had been deceived by them. One of these conjurers, for a
small sum agreed to teach me to make any girl love me that I wished.
After I had paid him, he told me to get a bull frog, and take a
certain bone out of the frog, dry it, and when I got a chance I must
step up to any girl whom I wished to make love me, and scratch her
somewhere on her naked skin with this bone, and she would be certain
to love me, and would follow me in spite of herself; no matter who she
might be engaged to, nor who she might be walking with.
So I got me a bone for a certain girl, whom I knew to be under the
influence of another young man. I happened to meet her in the company
of her lover, one Sunday evening, walking out; so when I got a chance,
I fetched her a tremendous rasp across her neck with this bone, which
made her jump. But in place of making her love me, it only made her
angry with me. She felt more like running after me to retaliate on me
for thus abusing her, than she felt like loving me. After I found
there was no virtue in the bone of a frog, I thought I would try some
other way to carry out my object. I then sought another counsellor
among the old superstitious influential slaves; one who professed to
be a great friend of mine, told me to get a lock of hair from the head
of any girl, and wear it in my shoes: this would cause her to love me
above all other persons. As there was another girl whose affections I
was anxious to gain, but could not succeed, I thought, without trying
the experiment of this hair. I slipped off one night to see the girl,
and asked her for a lock of her hair; but she refused to give it.
Believing that my success depended greatly upon this bunch of hair, I
was bent on having a lock before I left that night let it cost what it
might. As it was time for me to start home in order to get any sleep
that night, I grasped hold of a lock of her hair, which caused her to
screech, but I never let go until I had pulled it out. This of course
made the girl mad with me, and I accomplished nothing but gained her
displeasure.
Such are the superstitious notions of the great masses of southern
slaves. It is given to them by tradition, and can never be erased,
while the doors of education are bolted and barred against them. But
there is a prohibition by law, of mental and religious instruction.
The state of Georgia, by an act of 1770, declared "that it shall not
be lawful for any number of free negroes, molattoes or mestinos, or
even slaves in company with white persons, to meet together for the
purpose of mental instruction, either before the rising of the sun or
after the going down of the same. " 2d Brevard's Digest, 254-5. Similar
laws exist in most of the slave States, and patrols are sent out after
night and on the Sabbath day to enforce them. They go through their
respective towns to prevent slaves from meeting for religious worship
or mental instruction.
This is the regulation and law of American Slavery, as sanctioned by
the Government of the United States, and without which it could not
exist. And almost the whole moral, political, and religious power of
the nation are in favor of slavery and aggression, and against liberty
and justice. I only judge by their actions, which speak louder than
words. Slaveholders are put into the highest offices in the gift of
the people in both Church and State, thereby making slaveholding
popular and reputable.
FOOTNOTES:
[1] Police peculiar to the South.
CHAPTER III.
_My Courtship and Marriage. --Change of owner. --My first born. --Its
sufferings. --My wife abused. --My own anguish. _
The circumstances of my courtship and marriage, I consider to be among
the most remarkable events of my life while a slave. To think that
after I had determined to carry out the great idea which is so
universally and practically acknowledged among all the civilized
nations of the earth, that I would be free or die, I suffered myself
to be turned aside by the fascinating charms of a female, who
gradually won my attention from an object so high as that of liberty;
and an object which I held paramount to all others.
But when I had arrived at the age of eighteen, which was in the year
of 1853, it was my lot to be introduced to the favor of a mulatto
slave girl named Malinda, who lived in Oldham County, Kentucky, about
four miles from the residence of my owner. Malinda was a medium sized
girl, graceful in her walk, of an extraordinary make, and active in
business. Her skin was of a smooth texture, red cheeks, with dark and
penetrating eyes. She moved in the highest circle[2] of slaves, and
free people of color. She was also one of the best singers I ever
heard, and was much esteemed by all who knew her, for her benevolence,
talent and industry. In fact, I considered Malinda to be equalled by
few, and surpassed by none, for the above qualities, all things
considered.
It is truly marvellous to see how sudden a man's mind can be changed
by the charms and influence of a female. The first two or three visits
that I paid this dear girl, I had no intention of courting or marrying
her, for I was aware that such a step would greatly obstruct my way to
the land of liberty. I only visited Malinda because I liked her
company, as a highly interesting girl. But in spite of myself, before
I was aware of it, I was deeply in love; and what made this passion so
effectual and almost irresistable, I became satisfied that it was
reciprocal. There was a union of feeling, and every visit made the
impression stronger and stronger. One or two other young men were
paying attention to Malinda, at the same time; one of whom her mother
was anxious to have her marry. This of course gave me a fair
opportunity of testing Malinda's sincerity. I had just about
opposition enough to make the subject interesting. That Malinda loved
me above all others on earth, no one could deny. I could read it by
the warm reception with which the dear girl always met me, and treated
me in her mother's house. I could read it by the warm and affectionate
shake of the hand, and gentle smile upon her lovely cheek. I could
read it by her always giving me the preference of her company; by her
pressing invitations to visit even in opposition to her mother's will.
I could read it in the language of her bright and sparkling eye,
penciled by the unchangable finger of nature, that spake but could not
lie. These strong temptations gradually diverted my attention from my
actual condition and from liberty, though not entirely.
But oh! that I had only then been enabled to have seen as I do now, or
to have read the following slave code, which is but a stereotyped law
of American slavery. It would have saved me I think from having to
lament that I was a husband and am the father of slaves who are still
left to linger out their days in hopeless bondage. The laws of
Kentucky, my native State, with Maryland and Virginia, which are said
to be the mildest slave States in the Union, noted for their humanity,
Christianity and democracy, declare that "Any slave, for rambling in
the night, or riding horseback without leave, or running away, may be
punished by whipping, cropping and branding in the cheek, or
otherwise, not rendering him unfit for labor. " "Any slave convicted of
petty larceny, murder, or wilfully burning of dwelling houses, may be
sentenced to have his right hand cut off; to be hanged in the usual
manner, or the head severed from the body, the body divided into four
quarters, and head and quarters stuck up in the most public place in
the county, where such act was committed. "
At the time I joined my wife in holy wedlock, I was ignorant of these
ungodly laws; I knew not that I was propogating victims for this kind
of torture and cruelty. Malinda's mother was free, and lived in
Bedford, about a quarter of a mile from her daughter; and we often met
and passed off the time pleasantly. Agreeable to promise, on one
Saturday evening, I called to see Malinda, at her mother's residence,
with an intention of letting her know my mind upon the subject of
marriage. It was a very bright moonlight night; the dear girl was
standing in the door, anxiously waiting my arrival. As I approached
the door she caught my hand with an affectionate smile, and bid me
welcome to her mother's fire-side. After having broached the subject
of marriage, I informed her of the difficulties which I conceived to
be in the way of our marriage, and that I could never engage myself to
marry any girl only on certain conditions; near as I can recollect the
substance of our conversation upon the subject, it was, that I was
religiously inclined; that I intended to try to comply with the
requisitions of the gospel, both theoretically and practically through
life. Also that I was decided on becoming a freeman before I died; and
that I expected to get free by running away, and going to Canada,
under the British Government. Agreement on those two cardinal
questions I made my test for marriage.
I said, "I never will give my heart nor hand to any girl in marriage,
until I first know her sentiments upon the all-important subjects of
Religion and Liberty. No matter how well I might love her nor how
great the sacrifice in carrying out these God-given principles. And I
here pledge myself from this course never to be shaken while a single
pulsation of my heart shall continue to throb for Liberty. " With this
idea Malinda appeared to be well pleased, and with a smile she looked
me in the face and said, "I have long entertained the same views, and
this has been one of the greatest reasons why I have not felt inclined
to enter the married state while a slave; I have always felt a desire
to be free; I have long cherished a hope that I should yet be free,
either by purchase or running away. In regard to the subject of
Religion, I have always felt that it was a good thing, and something
that I would seek for at some future period. " After I found that
Malinda was right upon these all important questions, and that she
truly loved me well enough to make me an affectionate wife, I made
proposals for marriage. She very modestly declined answering the
question then, considering it to be one of a grave character, and
upon which our future destiny greatly depended. And notwithstanding
she confessed that I had her entire affections, she must have some
time to consider the matter. To this I of course consented, and was to
meet her on the next Saturday night to decide the question. But for
some cause I failed to come, and the next week she sent for me, and on
the Sunday evening following I called on her again; she welcomed me
with all the kindness of an affectionate lover, and seated me by her
side. We soon broached the old subject of marriage, and entered upon a
conditional contract of matrimony, viz: that we would marry if our
minds should not change within one year; that after marriage we would
change our former course and live a pious life; and that we would
embrace the earliest opportunity of running away to Canada for our
liberty. Clasping each other by the hand, pledging our sacred honor
that we would be true, we called on high heaven to witness the
rectitude of our purpose. There was nothing that could be more binding
upon us as slaves than this; for marriage among American slaves, is
disregarded by the laws of this country. It is counted a mere
temporary matter; it is a union which may be continued or broken off,
with or without the consent of a slaveholder, whether he is a priest
or a libertine.
There is no legal marriage among the slaves of the South; I never saw
nor heard of such a thing in my life, and I have been through seven of
the slave states. A slave marrying according to law, is a thing
unknown in the history of American Slavery. And be it known to the
disgrace of our country that every slaveholder, who is the keeper of a
number of slaves of both sexes, is also the keeper of a house or
houses of ill-fame. Licentious white men, can and do, enter at night
or day the lodging places of slaves; break up the bonds of affection
in families; destroy all their domestic and social union for life; and
the laws of the country afford them no protection. Will any man count,
if they can be counted, the churches of Maryland, Kentucky, and
Virginia, which have slaves connected with them, living in an open
state of adultery, never having been married according to the laws of
the State, and yet regular members of these various denominations, but
more especially the Baptist and Methodist churches? And I hazard
nothing in saying, that this state of things exists to a very wide
extent in the above states.
I am happy to state that many fugitive slaves, who have been enabled
by the aid of an over-ruling providence to escape to the free North
with those whom they claim as their wives, notwithstanding all their
ignorance and superstition, are not at all disposed to live together
like brutes, as they have been compelled to do in slaveholding
Churches. But as soon as they get free from slavery they go before
some anti-slavery clergyman, and have the solemn ceremony of marriage
performed according to the laws of the country. And if they profess
religion, and have been baptized by a slaveholding minister, they
repudiate it after becoming free, and are re-baptized by a man who is
worthy of doing it according to the gospel rule.
The time and place of my marriage, I consider one of the most trying
of my life. I was opposed by friends and foes; my mother opposed me
because she thought I was too young, and marrying she thought would
involve me in trouble and difficulty. My mother-in-law opposed me,
because she wanted her daughter to marry a slave who belonged to a
very rich man living near by, and who was well known to be the son of
his master. She thought no doubt that his master or father might
chance to set him free before he died, which would enable him to do a
better part by her daughter than I could! and there was no prospect
then of my ever being free. But his master has neither died nor yet
set his son free, who is now about forty years of age, toiling under
the lash, waiting and hoping that his master may die and will him to
be free.
The young men were opposed to our marriage for the same reason that
Paddy opposed a match when the clergyman was about to pronounce the
marriage ceremony of a young couple. He said "if there be any present
who have any objections to this couple being joined together in holy
wedlock, let them speak now, or hold their peace henceforth. " At this
time Paddy sprang to his feet and said, "Sir, I object to this. " Every
eye was fixed upon him. "What is your objection? " said the clergyman.
"Faith," replied Paddy, "Sir I want her myself. "
The man to whom I belonged was opposed, because he feared my taking
off from his farm some of the fruits of my own labor for Malinda to
eat, in the shape of pigs, chickens, or turkeys, and would count it
not robbery. So we formed a resolution, that if we were prevented from
joining in wedlock, that we would run away, and strike for Canada, let
the consequences be what they might. But we had one consolation;
Malinda's master was very much in favor of the match, but entirely
upon selfish principles. When I went to ask his permission to marry
Malinda, his answer was in the affirmative with but one condition
which I consider to be too vulgar to be written in this book. Our
marriage took place one night during the Christmas holydays; at which
time we had quite a festival given us. All appeared to be wide awake,
and we had quite a jolly time at my wedding party. And notwithstanding
our marriage was without license or sanction of law, we believed it to
be honorable before God, and the bed undefiled. Our Christmas holydays
were spent in matrimonial visiting among our friends, while it should
have been spent in running away to Canada, for our liberty. But
freedom was little thought of by us, for several months after
marriage. I often look back to that period even now as one of the most
happy seasons of my life; notwithstanding all the contaminating and
heart-rendering features with which the horrid system of slavery is
marked, and must carry with it to its final grave, yet I still look
back to that season with sweet remembrance and pleasure, that yet hath
power to charm and drive back dull cares which have been accumulated
by a thousand painful recollections of slavery. Malinda was to me an
affectionate wife. She was with me in the darkest hours of adversity.
She was with me in sorrow, and joy, in fasting and feasting, in trial
and persecution, in sickness and health, in sunshine and in shade.
Some months after our marriage, the unfeeling master to whom I
belonged, sold his farm with the view of moving his slaves to the
State of Missouri, regardless of the separation of husbands and wives
forever; but for fear of my resuming my old practice of running away,
if he should have forced me to leave my wife, by my repeated requests,
he was constrained to sell me to his brother, who lived within seven
miles of Wm. Gatewood, who then held Malinda as his property. I was
permitted to visit her only on Saturday nights, after my work was
done, and I had to be at home before sunrise on Monday mornings or
take a flogging. He proved to be so oppressive, and so unreasonable in
punishing his victims, that I soon found that I should have to run
away in self-defence. But he soon began to take the hint, and sold me
to Wm. Gatewood the owner of Malinda. With my new residence I confess
that I was much dissatisfied. Not that Gatewood was a more cruel
master than my former owner--not that I was opposed to living with
Malinda, who was then the centre and object of my affections--but to
live where I must be eye witness to her insults, scourgings and
abuses, such as are common to be inflicted upon slaves, was more than
I could bear. If my wife must be exposed to the insults and licentious
passions of wicked slavedrivers and overseers; if she must bear the
stripes of the lash laid on by an unmerciful tyrant; if this is to be
done with impunity, which is frequently done by slaveholders and their
abettors, Heaven forbid that I should be compelled to witness the
sight.
Not many months after I took up my residence on Wm. Gatewood's
plantation, Malinda made me a father. The dear little daughter was
called Mary Frances. She was nurtured and caressed by her mother and
father, until she was large enough to creep over the floor after her
parents, and climb up by a chair before I felt it to be my duty to
leave my family and go into a foreign country for a season. Malinda's
business was to labor out in the field the greater part of her time,
and there was no one to take care of poor little Frances, while her
mother was toiling in the field. She was left at the house to creep
under the feet of an unmerciful old mistress, whom I have known to
slap with her hand the face of little Frances, for crying after her
mother, until her little face was left black and blue. I recollect
that Malinda and myself came from the field one summer's day at noon,
and poor little Frances came creeping to her mother smiling, but with
large tear drops standing in her dear little eyes, sobbing and trying
to tell her mother that she had been abused, but was not able to utter
a word. Her little face was bruised black with the whole print of Mrs.
Gatewood's hand. This print was plainly to be seen for eight days
after it was done. But oh! this darling child was a slave; born of a
slave mother. Who can imagine what could be the feelings of a father
and mother, when looking upon their infant child whipped and tortured
with impunity, and they placed in a situation where they could afford
it no protection. But we were all claimed and held as property; the
father and mother were slaves!
On this same plantation I was compelled to stand and see my wife
shamefully scourged and abused by her master; and the manner in which
this was done, was so violently and inhumanly committed upon the
person of a female, that I despair in finding decent language to
describe the bloody act of cruelty. My happiness or pleasure was then
all blasted; for it was sometimes a pleasure to be with my little
family even in slavery. I loved them as my wife and child. Little
Frances was a pretty child; she was quiet, playful, bright, and
interesting. She had a keen black eye, and the very image of her
mother was stamped upon her cheek; but I could never look upon the
dear child without being filled with sorrow and fearful apprehensions,
of being separated by slaveholders, because she was a slave, regarded
as property. And unfortunately for me, I am the father of a slave, a
word too obnoxious to be spoken by a fugitive slave. It calls fresh to
my mind the separation of husband and wife; of stripping, tying up and
flogging; of tearing children from their parents, and selling them on
the auction block. It calls to mind female virtue trampled under foot
with impunity. But oh! when I remember that my daughter, my only
child, is still there, destined to share the fate of all these
calamities, it is too much to bear. If ever there was any one act of
my life while a slave, that I have to lament over, it is that of being
a father and a husband of slaves. I have the satisfaction of knowing
that I am only the father of one slave. She is bone of my bone, and
flesh of my flesh; poor unfortunate child. She was the first and shall
be the last slave that ever I will father, for chains and slavery on
this earth.
FOOTNOTES:
[2] The distinction among slaves is as marked, as the classes of
society are in any aristocratic community. Some refusing to associate
with others whom they deem beneath them in point of character, color,
condition, or the superior importance of their respective masters.
CHAPTER IV.
_My first adventure for liberty. --Parting Scene. --Journey up the
river. --Safe arrival in Cincinnati. --Journey to Canada. --Suffering
from cold and hunger. --Denied food and shelter by some. --One noble
exception. --Subsequent success. --Arrival at Perrysburgh. --I obtained
employment through the winter. --My return to Kentucky to get my
family. _
In the fall or winter of 1837 I formed a resolution that I would
escape, if possible, to Canada, for my Liberty. I commenced from that
hour making preparations for the dangerous experiment of breaking the
chains that bound me as a slave. My preparation for this voyage
consisted in the accumulation of a little money, perhaps not exceeding
two dollars and fifty cents, and a suit which I had never been seen or
known to wear before; this last was to avoid detection.
On the twenty-fifth of December, 1837, my long anticipated time had
arrived when I was to put into operation my former resolution, which
was to bolt for Liberty or consent to die a Slave. I acted upon the
former, although I confess it to be one of the most self-denying acts
of my whole life, to take leave of an affectionate wife, who stood
before me on my departure, with dear little Frances in her arms, and
with tears of sorrow in her eyes as she bid me a long farewell. It
required all the moral courage that I was master of to suppress my
feelings while taking leave of my little family.
Had Malinda known my intention at that time, it would not have been
possible for me to have got away, and I might have this day been a
slave. Notwithstanding every inducement was held out to me to run away
if I would be free, and the voice of liberty was thundering in my very
soul, "Be free, oh, man! be free," I was struggling against a thousand
obstacles which had clustered around my mind to bind my wounded spirit
still in the dark prison of mental degradation. My strong attachments
to friends and relatives, with all the love of home and birth-place
which is so natural among the human family, twined about my heart and
were hard to break away from. And withal, the fear of being pursued
with guns and blood-hounds, and of being killed, or captured and
taken to the extreme South, to linger out my days in hopeless bondage
on some cotton or sugar plantation, all combined to deter me. But I
had counted the cost, and was fully prepared to make the sacrifice.
The time for fulfilling my pledge was then at hand. I must forsake
friends and neighbors, wife and child, or consent to live and die a
slave.
By the permission of my keeper, I started out to work for myself on
Christmas. I went to the Ohio River, which was but a short distance
from Bedford. My excuse for wanting to go there was to get work. High
wages were offered for hands to work in a slaughter-house. But in
place of my going to work there, according to promise, when I arrived
at the river I managed to find a conveyance to cross over into a free
state. I was landed in the village of Madison, Indiana, where
steamboats were landing every day and night, passing up and down the
river, which afforded me a good opportunity of getting a boat passage
to Cincinnati. My anticipation being worked up to the highest pitch,
no sooner was the curtain of night dropped over the village, than I
secreted myself where no one could see me, and changed my suit ready
for the passage. Soon I heard the welcome sound of a Steamboat coming
up the river Ohio, which was soon to waft me beyond the limits of the
human slave markets of Kentucky. When the boat had landed at Madison,
notwithstanding my strong desire to get off, my heart trembled within
me in view of the great danger to which I was exposed in taking
passage on board of a Southern Steamboat; hence before I took passage,
I kneeled down before the Great I Am, and prayed for his aid and
protection, which He bountifully bestowed even beyond my expectation;
for I felt myself to be unworthy. I then stept boldly on the deck of
this splendid swift-running Steamer, bound for the city of Cincinnati.
This being the first voyage that I had ever taken on board of a
Steamboat, I was filled with fear and excitement, knowing that I was
surrounded by the vilest enemies of God and man, liable to be seized
and bound hand and foot, by any white man, and taken back into
captivity. But I crowded myself back from the light among the deck
passengers, where it would be difficult to distinguish me from a white
man. Every time during the night that the mate came round with a
light after the hands, I was afraid he would see I was a colored man,
and take me up; hence I kept from the light as much as possible. Some
men love darkness rather than light, because their deeds are evil; but
this was not the case with myself; it was to avoid detection in doing
right. This was one of the instances of my adventures that my affinity
with the Anglo-Saxon race, and even slaveholders, worked well for my
escape. But no thanks to them for it. While in their midst they have
not only robbed me of my labor and liberty, but they have almost
entirely robbed me of my dark complexion. Being so near the color of a
slaveholder, they could not, or did not find me out that night among
the white passengers. There was one of the deck hands on board called
out on his watch, whose hammock was swinging up near by me. I asked
him if he would let me lie in it. He said if I would pay him
twenty-five cents that I might lie in it until day. I readily paid him
the price and got into the hammock. No one could see my face to know
whether I was white or colored, while I was in the hammock; but I
never closed my eyes for sleep that night. I had often heard of
explosions on board of Steamboats; and every time the boat landed, and
blowed off steam, I was afraid the boilers had bursted and we should
all be killed; but I lived through the night amid the many dangers to
which I was exposed. I still maintained my position in the hammock,
until the next morning about 8 o'clock, when I heard the passengers
saying the boat was near Cincinnati; and by this time I supposed that
the attention of the people would be turned to the city, and I might
pass off unnoticed.
There were no questions asked me while on board the boat. The boat
landed about 9 o'clock in the morning in Cincinnati, and I waited
until after most of the passengers had gone off of the boat; I then
walked as gracefully up street as if I was not running away, until I
had got pretty well up Broadway. My object was to go to Canada, but
having no knowledge of the road, it was necessary for me to make some
inquiry before I left the city. I was afraid to ask a white person,
and I could see no colored person to ask.
Fare. --First Experiments at running away. --Earnest longing for
Freedom. --Abhorrent nature of Slavery. _
I was born May 1815, of a slave mother, in Shelby County, Kentucky,
and was claimed as the property of David White Esq. He came into
possession of my mother long before I was born. I was brought up in
the Counties of Shelby, Henry, Oldham, and Trimble. Or, more correctly
speaking, in the above counties, I may safely say, I was _flogged up_;
for where I should have received moral, mental, and religious
instruction, I received stripes without number, the object of which
was to degrade and keep me in subordination. I can truly say, that I
drank deeply of the bitter cup of suffering and woe. I have been
dragged down to the lowest depths of human degradation and
wretchedness, by Slaveholders.
My mother was known by the name of Milldred Jackson. She is the mother
of seven slaves only, all being sons, of whom I am the eldest. She was
also so fortunate or unfortunate, as to have some of what is called
the slaveholding blood flowing in her veins. I know not how much; but
not enough to prevent her children though fathered by slaveholders,
from being bought and sold in the slave markets of the South. It is
almost impossible for slaves to give a correct account of their male
parentage. All that I know about it is, that my mother informed me
that my fathers name was JAMES BIBB. He was doubtless one of the
present Bibb family of Kentucky; but I have no personal knowledge of
him at all, for he died before my recollection.
The first time I was separated from my mother, I was young and small.
I knew nothing of my condition then as a slave. I was living with Mr.
White, whose wife died and left him a widower with one little girl,
who was said to be the legitimate owner of my mother, and all her
children. This girl was also my playmate when we were children.
I was taken away from my mother, and hired out to labor for various
persons, eight or ten years in succession; and all my wages were
expended for the education of Harriet White, my playmate. It was then
my sorrows and sufferings commenced. It was then I first commenced
seeing and feeling that I was a wretched slave, compelled to work
under the lash without wages, and often without clothes enough to hide
my nakedness. I have often worked without half enough to eat, both
late and early, by day and by night. I have often laid my wearied
limbs down at night to rest upon a dirt floor, or a bench, without any
covering at all, because I had no where else to rest my wearied body,
after having worked hard all the day. I have also been compelled in
early life, to go at the bidding of a tyrant, through all kinds of
weather, hot or cold, wet or dry, and without shoes frequently, until
the month of December, with my bare feet on the cold frosty ground,
cracked open and bleeding as I walked. Reader, believe me when I say,
that no tongue, nor pen ever has or can express the horrors of
American Slavery. Consequently I despair in finding language to
express adequately the deep feeling of my soul, as I contemplate the
past history of my life. But although I have suffered much from the
lash, and for want of food and raiment; I confess that it was no
disadvantage to be passed through the hands of so many families, as
the only source of information that I had to enlighten my mind,
consisted in what I could see and hear from others. Slaves were not
allowed books, pen, ink, nor paper, to improve their minds. But it
seems to me now, that I was particularly observing, and apt to retain
what came under my observation. But more especially, all that I heard
about liberty and freedom to the slaves, I never forgot. Among other
good trades I learned the art of running away to perfection. I made a
regular business of it, and never gave it up, until I had broken the
bands of slavery, and landed myself safely in Canada, where I was
regarded as a man, and not as a thing.
The first time in my life that I ran away, was for ill treatment, in
1835. I was living with a Mr. Vires, in the village of Newcastle. His
wife was a very cross woman. She was every day flogging me, boxing,
pulling my ears, and scolding, so that I dreaded to enter the room
where she was. This first started me to running away from them. I was
often gone several days before I was caught. They would abuse me for
going off, but it did no good. The next time they flogged me, I was
off again; but after awhile they got sick of their bargain, and
returned me back into the hands of my owners. By this time Mr. White
had married his second wife. She was what I call a tyrant. I lived
with her several months, but she kept me almost half of my time in the
woods, running from under the bloody lash. While I was at home she
kept me all the time rubbing furniture, washing, scrubbing the floors;
and when I was not doing this, she would often seat herself in a large
rocking chair, with two pillows about her, and would make me rock her,
and keep off the flies. She was too lazy to scratch her own head, and
would often make me scratch and comb it for her. She would at other
times lie on her bed, in warm weather, and make me fan her while she
slept, scratch and rub her feet; but after awhile she got sick of me,
and preferred a maiden servant to do such business. I was then hired
out again; but by this time I had become much better skilled in
running away, and would make calculation to avoid detection, by taking
with me a bridle. If any body should see me in the woods, as they
have, and asked "what are you doing here sir! you are a runaway! "--I
said, "no, sir, I am looking for our old mare;" at other times,
"looking for our cows. " For such excuses I was let pass. In fact, the
only weapon of self defence that I could use successfully, was that of
deception. It is useless for a poor helpless slave, to resist a white
man in a slaveholding State. Public opinion and the law is against
him; and resistance in many cases is death to the slave, while the law
declares, that he shall submit or die.
The circumstances in which I was then placed, gave me a longing desire
to be free. It kindled a fire of liberty within my breast which has
never yet been quenched. This seemed to be a part of my nature; it was
first revealed to me by the inevitable laws of nature's God. I could
see that the All-wise Creator, had made man a free, moral, intelligent
and accountable being; capable of knowing good and evil. And I
believed then, as I believe now, that every man has a right to wages
for his labor; a right to his own wife and children; a right to
liberty and the pursuit of happiness; and a right to worship God
according to the dictates of his own conscience. But here, in the
light of these truths, I was a slave, a prisoner for life; I could
possess nothing, nor acquire anything but what must belong to my
keeper. No one can imagine my feelings in my reflecting moments, but
he who has himself been a slave. Oh! I have often wept over my
condition, while sauntering through the forest, to escape cruel
punishment.
"No arm to protect me from tyrants aggression;
No parents to cheer me when laden with grief.
Man may picture the bounds of the rocks and the rivers,
The hills and the valleys, the lakes and the ocean,
But the horrors of slavery, he never can trace. "
The term slave to this day sounds with terror to my soul,--a word too
obnoxious to speak--a system too intolerable to be endured. I know
this from long and sad experience. I now feel as if I had just been
aroused from sleep, and looking back with quickened perception at the
state of torment from whence I fled. I was there held and claimed as a
slave; as such I was subjected to the will and power of my keeper, in
all respects whatsoever. That the slave is a human being, no one can
deny. It is his lot to be exposed in common with other men, to the
calamities of sickness, death, and the misfortunes incident to life.
But unlike other men, he is denied the consolation of struggling
against external difficulties, such as destroy the life, liberty, and
happiness of himself and family. A slave may be bought and sold in the
market like an ox. He is liable to be sold off to a distant land from
his family. He is bound in chains hand and foot; and his sufferings
are aggravated a hundred fold, by the terrible thought, that he is not
allowed to struggle against misfortune, corporeal punishment, insults,
and outrages committed upon himself and family; and he is not allowed
to help himself, to resist or escape the blow, which he sees impending
over him.
This idea of utter helplessness, in perpetual bondage, is the more
distressing, as there is no period even with the remotest generation
when it shall terminate.
CHAPTER II.
_A fruitless effort for education. --The Sabbath among
Slaves. --Degrading amusements. --Why religion is rejected. --Condition
of poor white people. --Superstition among slaves. --Education
forbidden_.
In 1833, I had some very serious religious impressions, and there was
quite a number of slaves in that neighborhood, who felt very desirous
to be taught to read the Bible. There was a Miss Davis, a poor white
girl, who offered to teach a Sabbath School for the slaves,
notwithstanding public opinion and the law was opposed to it. Books
were furnished and she commenced the school; but the news soon got to
our owners that she was teaching us to read. This caused quite an
excitement in the neighborhood. Patrols[1] were appointed to go and
break it up the next Sabbath. They were determined that we should not
have a Sabbath School in operation. For slaves this was called an
incendiary movement.
The Sabbath is not regarded by a large number of the slaves as a day
of rest. They have no schools to go to; no moral nor religious
instruction at all in many localities where there are hundreds of
slaves. Hence they resort to some kind of amusement. Those who make no
profession of religion, resort to the woods in large numbers on that
day to gamble, fight, get drunk, and break the Sabbath. This is often
encouraged by slaveholders. When they wish to have a little sport of
that kind, they go among the slaves and give them whiskey, to see them
dance, "pat juber," sing and play on the banjo. Then get them to
wrestling, fighting, jumping, running foot races, and butting each
other like sheep. This is urged on by giving them whiskey; making bets
on them; laying chips on one slave's head, and daring another to tip
it off with his hand; and if he tipped it off, it would be called an
insult, and cause a fight. Before fighting, the parties choose their
seconds to stand by them while fighting; a ring or a circle is formed
to fight in, and no one is allowed to enter the ring while they are
fighting, but their seconds, and the white gentlemen. They are not
allowed to fight a duel, nor to use weapons of any kind. The blows are
made by kicking, knocking, and butting with their heads; they grab
each other by their ears, and jam their heads together like sheep. If
they are likely to hurt each other very bad, their masters would rap
them with their walking canes, and make them stop. After fighting,
they make friends, shake hands, and take a dram together, and there is
no more of it.
But this is all principally for want of moral instruction. This is
where they have no Sabbath Schools; no one to read the Bible to them;
no one to preach the gospel who is competent to expound the
Scriptures, except slaveholders. And the slaves, with but few
exceptions, have no confidence at all in their preaching, because they
preach a pro-slavery doctrine. They say, "Servants be obedient to your
masters;--and he that knoweth his master's will and doeth it not,
shall be beaten with many stripes;--" means that God will send them to
hell, if they disobey their masters. This kind of preaching has driven
thousands into infidelity. They view themselves as suffering unjustly
under the lash, without friends, without protection of law or gospel,
and the green eyed monster tyranny staring them in the face. They know
that they are destined to die in that wretched condition, unless they
are delivered by the arm of Omnipotence. And they cannot believe or
trust in such a religion, as above named.
The poor and loafering class of whites, are about on a par in point of
morals with the slaves at the South. They are generally ignorant,
intemperate, licentious, and profane. They associate much with the
slaves; are often found gambling together on the Sabbath; encouraging
slaves to steal from their owners, and sell to them, corn, wheat,
sheep, chickens, or any thing of the kind which they can well conceal.
For such offences there is no law to reach a slave but lynch law. But
if both parties are caught in the act by a white person, the slave is
punished with the lash, while the white man is often punished with
both lynch and common law. But there is another class of poor white
people in the South, who, I think would be glad to see slavery
abolished in self defence; they despise the institution because it is
impoverishing and degrading to them and their children.
The slave holders are generally rich, aristocratic, overbearing; and
they look with utter contempt upon a poor laboring man, who earns his
bread by the "sweat of his brow," whether he be moral or immoral,
honest or dishonest. No matter whether he is white or black; if he
performs manual labor for a livelihood, he is looked upon as being
inferior to a slaveholder, and but little better off than the slave,
who toils without wages under the lash. It is true, that the
slaveholder, and non-slaveholder, are living under the same laws in
the same State. But the one is rich, the other is poor; one is
educated, the other is uneducated; one has houses, land and influence,
the other has none. This being the case, that class of the
non-slaveholders would be glad to see slavery abolished, but they dare
not speak it aloud.
There is much superstition among the slaves. Many of them believe in
what they call "conjuration," tricking, and witchcraft; and some of
them pretend to understand the art, and say that by it they can
prevent their masters from exercising their will over their slaves.
Such are often applied to by others, to give them power to prevent
their masters from flogging them. The remedy is most generally some
kind of bitter root; they are directed to chew it and spit towards
their masters when they are angry with their slaves. At other times
they prepare certain kinds of powders, to sprinkle about their masters
dwellings. This is all done for the purpose of defending themselves in
some peaceable manner, although I am satisfied that there is no virtue
at all in it. I have tried it to perfection when I was a slave at the
South. I was then a young man, full of life and vigor, and was very
fond of visiting our neighbors slaves, but had no time to visit only
Sundays, when I could get a permit to go, or after night, when I could
slip off without being seen. If it was found out, the next morning I
was called up to give an account of myself for going off without
permission; and would very often get a flogging for it.
I got myself into a scrape at a certain time, by going off in this
way, and I expected to be severely punished for it. I had a strong
notion of running off, to escape being flogged, but was advised by a
friend to go to one of those conjurers, who could prevent me from
being flogged. I went and informed him of the difficulty. He said if I
would pay him a small sum, he would prevent my being flogged. After I
had paid him, he mixed up some alum, salt and other stuff into a
powder, and said I must sprinkle it about my master, if he should
offer to strike me; this would prevent him. He also gave me some kind
of bitter root to chew, and spit towards him, which would certainly
prevent my being flogged. According to order I used his remedy, and
for some cause I was let pass without being flogged that time.
I had then great faith in conjuration and witchcraft. I was led to
believe that I could do almost as I pleased, without being flogged. So
on the next Sabbath my conjuration was fully tested by my going off,
and staying away until Monday morning, without permission. When I
returned home, my master declared that he would punish me for going
off; but I did not believe that he could do it while I had this root
and dust; and as he approached me, I commenced talking saucy to him.
But he soon convinced me that there was no virtue in them. He became
so enraged at me for saucing him, that he grasped a handful of
switches and punished me severely, in spite of all my roots and
powders.
But there was another old slave in that neighborhood, who professed to
understand all about conjuration, and I thought I would try his skill.
He told me that the first one was only a quack, and if I would only
pay him a certain amount in cash, that he would tell me how to prevent
any person from striking me. After I had paid him his charge, he told
me to go to the cow-pen after night, and get some fresh cow manure,
and mix it with red pepper and white people's hair, all to be put into
a pot over the fire, and scorched until it could be ground into snuff.
I was then to sprinkle it about my master's bed-room, in his hat and
boots, and it would prevent him from ever abusing me in any way. After
I got it all ready prepared, the smallest pinch of it scattered over a
room, was enough to make a horse sneeze from the strength of it; but
it did no good. I tried it to my satisfaction. It was my business to
make fires in my master's chamber, night and morning. Whenever I could
get a chance, I sprinkled a little of this dust about the linen of the
bed, where they would breathe it on retiring. This was to act upon
them as what is called a kind of love powder, to change their
sentiments of anger, to those of love, towards me, but this all
proved to be vain imagination. The old man had my money, and I was
treated no better for it.
One night when I went in to make a fire, I availed myself of the
opportunity of sprinkling a very heavy charge of this powder about my
master's bed. Soon after their going to bed, they began to cough and
sneeze. Being close around the house, watching and listening, to know
what the effect would be, I heard them ask each other what in the
world it could be, that made them cough and sneeze so. All the while,
I was trembling with fear, expecting every moment I should be called
and asked if I knew any thing about it. After this, for fear they
might find me out in my dangerous experiments upon them, I had to give
them up, for the time being. I was then convinced that running away
was the most effectual way by which a slave could escape cruel
punishment.
As all the instrumentalities which I as a slave, could bring to bear
upon the system, had utterly failed to palliate my sufferings, all
hope and consolation fled. I must be a slave for life, and suffer
under the lash or die. The influence which this had only tended to
make me more unhappy. I resolved that I would be free if running away
could make me so. I had heard that Canada was a land of liberty,
somewhere in the North; and every wave of trouble that rolled across
my breast, caused me to think more and more about Canada, and liberty.
But more especially after having been flogged, I have fled to the
highest hills of the forest, pressing my way to the North for refuge;
but the river Ohio was my limit. To me it was an impassable gulf. I
had no rod wherewith to smite the stream, and thereby divide the
waters. I had no Moses to go before me and lead the way from bondage
to a promised land. Yet I was in a far worse state than Egyptian
bondage; for they had houses and land; I had none; they had oxen and
sheep; I had none; they had a wise counsel, to tell them what to do,
and where to go, and even to go with them; I had none. I was
surrounded by opposition on every hand. My friends were few and far
between. I have often felt when running away as if I had scarcely a
friend on earth.
Sometimes standing on the Ohio River bluff, looking over on a free
State, and as far north as my eyes could see, I have eagerly gazed
upon the blue sky of the free North, which at times constrained me to
cry out from the depths of my soul, Oh! Canada, sweet land of
rest--Oh! when shall I get there! Oh, that I had the wings of a dove,
that I might soar away to where there is no slavery; no clanking of
chains, no captives, no lacerating of backs, no parting of husbands
and wives; and where man ceases to be the property of his fellow man.
These thoughts have revolved in my mind a thousand times. I have stood
upon the lofty banks of the river Ohio, gazing upon the splendid
steamboats, wafted with all their magnificence up and down the river,
and I thought of the fishes of the water, the fowls of the air, the
wild beasts of the forest, all appeared to be free, to go just where
they pleased, and I was an unhappy slave!
But my attention was gradually turned in a measure from this subject,
by being introduced into the society of young women. This for the time
being took my attention from running away, as waiting on the girls
appeared to be perfectly congenial to my nature. I wanted to be well
thought of by them, and would go to great lengths to gain their
affection. I had been taught by the old superstitious slaves, to
believe in conjuration, and it was hard for me to give up the notion,
for all I had been deceived by them. One of these conjurers, for a
small sum agreed to teach me to make any girl love me that I wished.
After I had paid him, he told me to get a bull frog, and take a
certain bone out of the frog, dry it, and when I got a chance I must
step up to any girl whom I wished to make love me, and scratch her
somewhere on her naked skin with this bone, and she would be certain
to love me, and would follow me in spite of herself; no matter who she
might be engaged to, nor who she might be walking with.
So I got me a bone for a certain girl, whom I knew to be under the
influence of another young man. I happened to meet her in the company
of her lover, one Sunday evening, walking out; so when I got a chance,
I fetched her a tremendous rasp across her neck with this bone, which
made her jump. But in place of making her love me, it only made her
angry with me. She felt more like running after me to retaliate on me
for thus abusing her, than she felt like loving me. After I found
there was no virtue in the bone of a frog, I thought I would try some
other way to carry out my object. I then sought another counsellor
among the old superstitious influential slaves; one who professed to
be a great friend of mine, told me to get a lock of hair from the head
of any girl, and wear it in my shoes: this would cause her to love me
above all other persons. As there was another girl whose affections I
was anxious to gain, but could not succeed, I thought, without trying
the experiment of this hair. I slipped off one night to see the girl,
and asked her for a lock of her hair; but she refused to give it.
Believing that my success depended greatly upon this bunch of hair, I
was bent on having a lock before I left that night let it cost what it
might. As it was time for me to start home in order to get any sleep
that night, I grasped hold of a lock of her hair, which caused her to
screech, but I never let go until I had pulled it out. This of course
made the girl mad with me, and I accomplished nothing but gained her
displeasure.
Such are the superstitious notions of the great masses of southern
slaves. It is given to them by tradition, and can never be erased,
while the doors of education are bolted and barred against them. But
there is a prohibition by law, of mental and religious instruction.
The state of Georgia, by an act of 1770, declared "that it shall not
be lawful for any number of free negroes, molattoes or mestinos, or
even slaves in company with white persons, to meet together for the
purpose of mental instruction, either before the rising of the sun or
after the going down of the same. " 2d Brevard's Digest, 254-5. Similar
laws exist in most of the slave States, and patrols are sent out after
night and on the Sabbath day to enforce them. They go through their
respective towns to prevent slaves from meeting for religious worship
or mental instruction.
This is the regulation and law of American Slavery, as sanctioned by
the Government of the United States, and without which it could not
exist. And almost the whole moral, political, and religious power of
the nation are in favor of slavery and aggression, and against liberty
and justice. I only judge by their actions, which speak louder than
words. Slaveholders are put into the highest offices in the gift of
the people in both Church and State, thereby making slaveholding
popular and reputable.
FOOTNOTES:
[1] Police peculiar to the South.
CHAPTER III.
_My Courtship and Marriage. --Change of owner. --My first born. --Its
sufferings. --My wife abused. --My own anguish. _
The circumstances of my courtship and marriage, I consider to be among
the most remarkable events of my life while a slave. To think that
after I had determined to carry out the great idea which is so
universally and practically acknowledged among all the civilized
nations of the earth, that I would be free or die, I suffered myself
to be turned aside by the fascinating charms of a female, who
gradually won my attention from an object so high as that of liberty;
and an object which I held paramount to all others.
But when I had arrived at the age of eighteen, which was in the year
of 1853, it was my lot to be introduced to the favor of a mulatto
slave girl named Malinda, who lived in Oldham County, Kentucky, about
four miles from the residence of my owner. Malinda was a medium sized
girl, graceful in her walk, of an extraordinary make, and active in
business. Her skin was of a smooth texture, red cheeks, with dark and
penetrating eyes. She moved in the highest circle[2] of slaves, and
free people of color. She was also one of the best singers I ever
heard, and was much esteemed by all who knew her, for her benevolence,
talent and industry. In fact, I considered Malinda to be equalled by
few, and surpassed by none, for the above qualities, all things
considered.
It is truly marvellous to see how sudden a man's mind can be changed
by the charms and influence of a female. The first two or three visits
that I paid this dear girl, I had no intention of courting or marrying
her, for I was aware that such a step would greatly obstruct my way to
the land of liberty. I only visited Malinda because I liked her
company, as a highly interesting girl. But in spite of myself, before
I was aware of it, I was deeply in love; and what made this passion so
effectual and almost irresistable, I became satisfied that it was
reciprocal. There was a union of feeling, and every visit made the
impression stronger and stronger. One or two other young men were
paying attention to Malinda, at the same time; one of whom her mother
was anxious to have her marry. This of course gave me a fair
opportunity of testing Malinda's sincerity. I had just about
opposition enough to make the subject interesting. That Malinda loved
me above all others on earth, no one could deny. I could read it by
the warm reception with which the dear girl always met me, and treated
me in her mother's house. I could read it by the warm and affectionate
shake of the hand, and gentle smile upon her lovely cheek. I could
read it by her always giving me the preference of her company; by her
pressing invitations to visit even in opposition to her mother's will.
I could read it in the language of her bright and sparkling eye,
penciled by the unchangable finger of nature, that spake but could not
lie. These strong temptations gradually diverted my attention from my
actual condition and from liberty, though not entirely.
But oh! that I had only then been enabled to have seen as I do now, or
to have read the following slave code, which is but a stereotyped law
of American slavery. It would have saved me I think from having to
lament that I was a husband and am the father of slaves who are still
left to linger out their days in hopeless bondage. The laws of
Kentucky, my native State, with Maryland and Virginia, which are said
to be the mildest slave States in the Union, noted for their humanity,
Christianity and democracy, declare that "Any slave, for rambling in
the night, or riding horseback without leave, or running away, may be
punished by whipping, cropping and branding in the cheek, or
otherwise, not rendering him unfit for labor. " "Any slave convicted of
petty larceny, murder, or wilfully burning of dwelling houses, may be
sentenced to have his right hand cut off; to be hanged in the usual
manner, or the head severed from the body, the body divided into four
quarters, and head and quarters stuck up in the most public place in
the county, where such act was committed. "
At the time I joined my wife in holy wedlock, I was ignorant of these
ungodly laws; I knew not that I was propogating victims for this kind
of torture and cruelty. Malinda's mother was free, and lived in
Bedford, about a quarter of a mile from her daughter; and we often met
and passed off the time pleasantly. Agreeable to promise, on one
Saturday evening, I called to see Malinda, at her mother's residence,
with an intention of letting her know my mind upon the subject of
marriage. It was a very bright moonlight night; the dear girl was
standing in the door, anxiously waiting my arrival. As I approached
the door she caught my hand with an affectionate smile, and bid me
welcome to her mother's fire-side. After having broached the subject
of marriage, I informed her of the difficulties which I conceived to
be in the way of our marriage, and that I could never engage myself to
marry any girl only on certain conditions; near as I can recollect the
substance of our conversation upon the subject, it was, that I was
religiously inclined; that I intended to try to comply with the
requisitions of the gospel, both theoretically and practically through
life. Also that I was decided on becoming a freeman before I died; and
that I expected to get free by running away, and going to Canada,
under the British Government. Agreement on those two cardinal
questions I made my test for marriage.
I said, "I never will give my heart nor hand to any girl in marriage,
until I first know her sentiments upon the all-important subjects of
Religion and Liberty. No matter how well I might love her nor how
great the sacrifice in carrying out these God-given principles. And I
here pledge myself from this course never to be shaken while a single
pulsation of my heart shall continue to throb for Liberty. " With this
idea Malinda appeared to be well pleased, and with a smile she looked
me in the face and said, "I have long entertained the same views, and
this has been one of the greatest reasons why I have not felt inclined
to enter the married state while a slave; I have always felt a desire
to be free; I have long cherished a hope that I should yet be free,
either by purchase or running away. In regard to the subject of
Religion, I have always felt that it was a good thing, and something
that I would seek for at some future period. " After I found that
Malinda was right upon these all important questions, and that she
truly loved me well enough to make me an affectionate wife, I made
proposals for marriage. She very modestly declined answering the
question then, considering it to be one of a grave character, and
upon which our future destiny greatly depended. And notwithstanding
she confessed that I had her entire affections, she must have some
time to consider the matter. To this I of course consented, and was to
meet her on the next Saturday night to decide the question. But for
some cause I failed to come, and the next week she sent for me, and on
the Sunday evening following I called on her again; she welcomed me
with all the kindness of an affectionate lover, and seated me by her
side. We soon broached the old subject of marriage, and entered upon a
conditional contract of matrimony, viz: that we would marry if our
minds should not change within one year; that after marriage we would
change our former course and live a pious life; and that we would
embrace the earliest opportunity of running away to Canada for our
liberty. Clasping each other by the hand, pledging our sacred honor
that we would be true, we called on high heaven to witness the
rectitude of our purpose. There was nothing that could be more binding
upon us as slaves than this; for marriage among American slaves, is
disregarded by the laws of this country. It is counted a mere
temporary matter; it is a union which may be continued or broken off,
with or without the consent of a slaveholder, whether he is a priest
or a libertine.
There is no legal marriage among the slaves of the South; I never saw
nor heard of such a thing in my life, and I have been through seven of
the slave states. A slave marrying according to law, is a thing
unknown in the history of American Slavery. And be it known to the
disgrace of our country that every slaveholder, who is the keeper of a
number of slaves of both sexes, is also the keeper of a house or
houses of ill-fame. Licentious white men, can and do, enter at night
or day the lodging places of slaves; break up the bonds of affection
in families; destroy all their domestic and social union for life; and
the laws of the country afford them no protection. Will any man count,
if they can be counted, the churches of Maryland, Kentucky, and
Virginia, which have slaves connected with them, living in an open
state of adultery, never having been married according to the laws of
the State, and yet regular members of these various denominations, but
more especially the Baptist and Methodist churches? And I hazard
nothing in saying, that this state of things exists to a very wide
extent in the above states.
I am happy to state that many fugitive slaves, who have been enabled
by the aid of an over-ruling providence to escape to the free North
with those whom they claim as their wives, notwithstanding all their
ignorance and superstition, are not at all disposed to live together
like brutes, as they have been compelled to do in slaveholding
Churches. But as soon as they get free from slavery they go before
some anti-slavery clergyman, and have the solemn ceremony of marriage
performed according to the laws of the country. And if they profess
religion, and have been baptized by a slaveholding minister, they
repudiate it after becoming free, and are re-baptized by a man who is
worthy of doing it according to the gospel rule.
The time and place of my marriage, I consider one of the most trying
of my life. I was opposed by friends and foes; my mother opposed me
because she thought I was too young, and marrying she thought would
involve me in trouble and difficulty. My mother-in-law opposed me,
because she wanted her daughter to marry a slave who belonged to a
very rich man living near by, and who was well known to be the son of
his master. She thought no doubt that his master or father might
chance to set him free before he died, which would enable him to do a
better part by her daughter than I could! and there was no prospect
then of my ever being free. But his master has neither died nor yet
set his son free, who is now about forty years of age, toiling under
the lash, waiting and hoping that his master may die and will him to
be free.
The young men were opposed to our marriage for the same reason that
Paddy opposed a match when the clergyman was about to pronounce the
marriage ceremony of a young couple. He said "if there be any present
who have any objections to this couple being joined together in holy
wedlock, let them speak now, or hold their peace henceforth. " At this
time Paddy sprang to his feet and said, "Sir, I object to this. " Every
eye was fixed upon him. "What is your objection? " said the clergyman.
"Faith," replied Paddy, "Sir I want her myself. "
The man to whom I belonged was opposed, because he feared my taking
off from his farm some of the fruits of my own labor for Malinda to
eat, in the shape of pigs, chickens, or turkeys, and would count it
not robbery. So we formed a resolution, that if we were prevented from
joining in wedlock, that we would run away, and strike for Canada, let
the consequences be what they might. But we had one consolation;
Malinda's master was very much in favor of the match, but entirely
upon selfish principles. When I went to ask his permission to marry
Malinda, his answer was in the affirmative with but one condition
which I consider to be too vulgar to be written in this book. Our
marriage took place one night during the Christmas holydays; at which
time we had quite a festival given us. All appeared to be wide awake,
and we had quite a jolly time at my wedding party. And notwithstanding
our marriage was without license or sanction of law, we believed it to
be honorable before God, and the bed undefiled. Our Christmas holydays
were spent in matrimonial visiting among our friends, while it should
have been spent in running away to Canada, for our liberty. But
freedom was little thought of by us, for several months after
marriage. I often look back to that period even now as one of the most
happy seasons of my life; notwithstanding all the contaminating and
heart-rendering features with which the horrid system of slavery is
marked, and must carry with it to its final grave, yet I still look
back to that season with sweet remembrance and pleasure, that yet hath
power to charm and drive back dull cares which have been accumulated
by a thousand painful recollections of slavery. Malinda was to me an
affectionate wife. She was with me in the darkest hours of adversity.
She was with me in sorrow, and joy, in fasting and feasting, in trial
and persecution, in sickness and health, in sunshine and in shade.
Some months after our marriage, the unfeeling master to whom I
belonged, sold his farm with the view of moving his slaves to the
State of Missouri, regardless of the separation of husbands and wives
forever; but for fear of my resuming my old practice of running away,
if he should have forced me to leave my wife, by my repeated requests,
he was constrained to sell me to his brother, who lived within seven
miles of Wm. Gatewood, who then held Malinda as his property. I was
permitted to visit her only on Saturday nights, after my work was
done, and I had to be at home before sunrise on Monday mornings or
take a flogging. He proved to be so oppressive, and so unreasonable in
punishing his victims, that I soon found that I should have to run
away in self-defence. But he soon began to take the hint, and sold me
to Wm. Gatewood the owner of Malinda. With my new residence I confess
that I was much dissatisfied. Not that Gatewood was a more cruel
master than my former owner--not that I was opposed to living with
Malinda, who was then the centre and object of my affections--but to
live where I must be eye witness to her insults, scourgings and
abuses, such as are common to be inflicted upon slaves, was more than
I could bear. If my wife must be exposed to the insults and licentious
passions of wicked slavedrivers and overseers; if she must bear the
stripes of the lash laid on by an unmerciful tyrant; if this is to be
done with impunity, which is frequently done by slaveholders and their
abettors, Heaven forbid that I should be compelled to witness the
sight.
Not many months after I took up my residence on Wm. Gatewood's
plantation, Malinda made me a father. The dear little daughter was
called Mary Frances. She was nurtured and caressed by her mother and
father, until she was large enough to creep over the floor after her
parents, and climb up by a chair before I felt it to be my duty to
leave my family and go into a foreign country for a season. Malinda's
business was to labor out in the field the greater part of her time,
and there was no one to take care of poor little Frances, while her
mother was toiling in the field. She was left at the house to creep
under the feet of an unmerciful old mistress, whom I have known to
slap with her hand the face of little Frances, for crying after her
mother, until her little face was left black and blue. I recollect
that Malinda and myself came from the field one summer's day at noon,
and poor little Frances came creeping to her mother smiling, but with
large tear drops standing in her dear little eyes, sobbing and trying
to tell her mother that she had been abused, but was not able to utter
a word. Her little face was bruised black with the whole print of Mrs.
Gatewood's hand. This print was plainly to be seen for eight days
after it was done. But oh! this darling child was a slave; born of a
slave mother. Who can imagine what could be the feelings of a father
and mother, when looking upon their infant child whipped and tortured
with impunity, and they placed in a situation where they could afford
it no protection. But we were all claimed and held as property; the
father and mother were slaves!
On this same plantation I was compelled to stand and see my wife
shamefully scourged and abused by her master; and the manner in which
this was done, was so violently and inhumanly committed upon the
person of a female, that I despair in finding decent language to
describe the bloody act of cruelty. My happiness or pleasure was then
all blasted; for it was sometimes a pleasure to be with my little
family even in slavery. I loved them as my wife and child. Little
Frances was a pretty child; she was quiet, playful, bright, and
interesting. She had a keen black eye, and the very image of her
mother was stamped upon her cheek; but I could never look upon the
dear child without being filled with sorrow and fearful apprehensions,
of being separated by slaveholders, because she was a slave, regarded
as property. And unfortunately for me, I am the father of a slave, a
word too obnoxious to be spoken by a fugitive slave. It calls fresh to
my mind the separation of husband and wife; of stripping, tying up and
flogging; of tearing children from their parents, and selling them on
the auction block. It calls to mind female virtue trampled under foot
with impunity. But oh! when I remember that my daughter, my only
child, is still there, destined to share the fate of all these
calamities, it is too much to bear. If ever there was any one act of
my life while a slave, that I have to lament over, it is that of being
a father and a husband of slaves. I have the satisfaction of knowing
that I am only the father of one slave. She is bone of my bone, and
flesh of my flesh; poor unfortunate child. She was the first and shall
be the last slave that ever I will father, for chains and slavery on
this earth.
FOOTNOTES:
[2] The distinction among slaves is as marked, as the classes of
society are in any aristocratic community. Some refusing to associate
with others whom they deem beneath them in point of character, color,
condition, or the superior importance of their respective masters.
CHAPTER IV.
_My first adventure for liberty. --Parting Scene. --Journey up the
river. --Safe arrival in Cincinnati. --Journey to Canada. --Suffering
from cold and hunger. --Denied food and shelter by some. --One noble
exception. --Subsequent success. --Arrival at Perrysburgh. --I obtained
employment through the winter. --My return to Kentucky to get my
family. _
In the fall or winter of 1837 I formed a resolution that I would
escape, if possible, to Canada, for my Liberty. I commenced from that
hour making preparations for the dangerous experiment of breaking the
chains that bound me as a slave. My preparation for this voyage
consisted in the accumulation of a little money, perhaps not exceeding
two dollars and fifty cents, and a suit which I had never been seen or
known to wear before; this last was to avoid detection.
On the twenty-fifth of December, 1837, my long anticipated time had
arrived when I was to put into operation my former resolution, which
was to bolt for Liberty or consent to die a Slave. I acted upon the
former, although I confess it to be one of the most self-denying acts
of my whole life, to take leave of an affectionate wife, who stood
before me on my departure, with dear little Frances in her arms, and
with tears of sorrow in her eyes as she bid me a long farewell. It
required all the moral courage that I was master of to suppress my
feelings while taking leave of my little family.
Had Malinda known my intention at that time, it would not have been
possible for me to have got away, and I might have this day been a
slave. Notwithstanding every inducement was held out to me to run away
if I would be free, and the voice of liberty was thundering in my very
soul, "Be free, oh, man! be free," I was struggling against a thousand
obstacles which had clustered around my mind to bind my wounded spirit
still in the dark prison of mental degradation. My strong attachments
to friends and relatives, with all the love of home and birth-place
which is so natural among the human family, twined about my heart and
were hard to break away from. And withal, the fear of being pursued
with guns and blood-hounds, and of being killed, or captured and
taken to the extreme South, to linger out my days in hopeless bondage
on some cotton or sugar plantation, all combined to deter me. But I
had counted the cost, and was fully prepared to make the sacrifice.
The time for fulfilling my pledge was then at hand. I must forsake
friends and neighbors, wife and child, or consent to live and die a
slave.
By the permission of my keeper, I started out to work for myself on
Christmas. I went to the Ohio River, which was but a short distance
from Bedford. My excuse for wanting to go there was to get work. High
wages were offered for hands to work in a slaughter-house. But in
place of my going to work there, according to promise, when I arrived
at the river I managed to find a conveyance to cross over into a free
state. I was landed in the village of Madison, Indiana, where
steamboats were landing every day and night, passing up and down the
river, which afforded me a good opportunity of getting a boat passage
to Cincinnati. My anticipation being worked up to the highest pitch,
no sooner was the curtain of night dropped over the village, than I
secreted myself where no one could see me, and changed my suit ready
for the passage. Soon I heard the welcome sound of a Steamboat coming
up the river Ohio, which was soon to waft me beyond the limits of the
human slave markets of Kentucky. When the boat had landed at Madison,
notwithstanding my strong desire to get off, my heart trembled within
me in view of the great danger to which I was exposed in taking
passage on board of a Southern Steamboat; hence before I took passage,
I kneeled down before the Great I Am, and prayed for his aid and
protection, which He bountifully bestowed even beyond my expectation;
for I felt myself to be unworthy. I then stept boldly on the deck of
this splendid swift-running Steamer, bound for the city of Cincinnati.
This being the first voyage that I had ever taken on board of a
Steamboat, I was filled with fear and excitement, knowing that I was
surrounded by the vilest enemies of God and man, liable to be seized
and bound hand and foot, by any white man, and taken back into
captivity. But I crowded myself back from the light among the deck
passengers, where it would be difficult to distinguish me from a white
man. Every time during the night that the mate came round with a
light after the hands, I was afraid he would see I was a colored man,
and take me up; hence I kept from the light as much as possible. Some
men love darkness rather than light, because their deeds are evil; but
this was not the case with myself; it was to avoid detection in doing
right. This was one of the instances of my adventures that my affinity
with the Anglo-Saxon race, and even slaveholders, worked well for my
escape. But no thanks to them for it. While in their midst they have
not only robbed me of my labor and liberty, but they have almost
entirely robbed me of my dark complexion. Being so near the color of a
slaveholder, they could not, or did not find me out that night among
the white passengers. There was one of the deck hands on board called
out on his watch, whose hammock was swinging up near by me. I asked
him if he would let me lie in it. He said if I would pay him
twenty-five cents that I might lie in it until day. I readily paid him
the price and got into the hammock. No one could see my face to know
whether I was white or colored, while I was in the hammock; but I
never closed my eyes for sleep that night. I had often heard of
explosions on board of Steamboats; and every time the boat landed, and
blowed off steam, I was afraid the boilers had bursted and we should
all be killed; but I lived through the night amid the many dangers to
which I was exposed. I still maintained my position in the hammock,
until the next morning about 8 o'clock, when I heard the passengers
saying the boat was near Cincinnati; and by this time I supposed that
the attention of the people would be turned to the city, and I might
pass off unnoticed.
There were no questions asked me while on board the boat. The boat
landed about 9 o'clock in the morning in Cincinnati, and I waited
until after most of the passengers had gone off of the boat; I then
walked as gracefully up street as if I was not running away, until I
had got pretty well up Broadway. My object was to go to Canada, but
having no knowledge of the road, it was necessary for me to make some
inquiry before I left the city. I was afraid to ask a white person,
and I could see no colored person to ask.
