No More Learning

Thou knowest what danger had like to come of it ;
Though the beast gave his master ne'er an ill

word.
Instead of a cudgel, Balaam wished for a sword.

WOOL-CHURCH.

Truth 's as bold as a lion, I am not afraid ;
I '11 prove every tittle of what I have said.
Our riders are absent, who is 't that can hear ?
Let's be true to ourselves, whom then need we fear?
Where is thy king gone ?



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OF MARYELL. 265

CHARING.

To sec bishop Laud.

WOOL-CHURCH.

To cuckold a scrivener, mine is in masquerade ;
For on such occasions he oft steals away,
And returns to remount me about break of day.
In very dark nights sometimes you may find him,
With a harlot got up on my crupper behind him.

CHARING.

Pause brother awhile, and calmly consider
What thou hast to say against my royal rider.

WOOL-CHURCH.

Thy priest-ridden king turned desperate fighter
For the surplice, lawn-sleeves, the cross, and the

mitre ;
Till at last on the scaffold he was left in the

lurch.
By knaves, who cried up themselves for the

church,
Archbishops and bishops, archdeacons and deans.

CHARING.

Thy king will ne*er fight unless for his queans.

WOOL-CHURCH.

He that dies for ceremonies, dies like a fool.



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266 THE POEMS

CHARING.

The king on thy back is a lamentable tool.

WOOL-CHURCH.

The goat and the lion I equally hate,
And freemen alike value life and estate ;
Though the father and son be different rods,
Between the two scourgers we find little odds ;
Both infamous stand in three kingdoms' votes,
This for picking our pockets, that for cutting our
throats.

CHARINO.

More tolerable are the lion-king's slaughters.
Than the goat making whores of our wives and

our daughters :
The debauched and cruel since they equally

gall us,
I had rather bear Nero than Sardanapalus.

WOOL-CHURCH.

One of the two tyrants must still be our case.
Under all who shall reign of the false Stuart's

race.
DeWitt and Cromwell had each a brave soul,
I freely declare it, I am for old Noll ;
Though his goverament did a tyrant resemble,
He made England great, and his enemies

tremble.



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OP MARVELL. 267



CHARING.

Thy rider puts no man to death in his wrath,
But is buried alive in lust and in sloth.

WOOL-CHURCH.

What is thy opinion of James, Duke of York ?

CHARING.

The same that the frogs had of Jupiter's stork.
With the Turk in his head, and the Pope in his

heart.
Father Patrick's disciples will make £lngland

smart
If e'er he be king, I know Bntain's doom,
We must all to a stake, or be converts to Rome.
Ah, Tudor ! ah, Tudor ! of Stuarts enough ;
None ever reigned like old Bess in the ruff.
Her Walsingham could dark counsels unriddle.
And our Sir Joseph write news, books, and fiddle.

WOOL-CHURCH.

Truth, brother, well said ; but that 's somewhat

bitter ;
His perfumed predecessor was never more

fitter :
Yet we have one secretary honest and wise ;
For that very reason, he 's never to rise.
But can'st thou devise when things will be

mended ?



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268 THE POEMS

CHARING.

When the reign of the line of the Stuarts is ended.

CONCLUSIOX.

If speeches from animals in Rome's first age,

Prodigious events did surely presage,

That should come to pass, all mankind may

swear
That which two inanimate horses declare.
But I should have told you before the jades

parted,
Both galloped to Whitehall, and there humbly

farted;
Which tyranny's downfall portended much more.
Than all that the beasts had spoken before.
If the Delphic Sibyl's oracular speeches
(As learned men say) came out of their breeches.
Why might not our hoi*ses, since words are but

wind.
Have the spirit of prophecy likewise behind ?
Though tymnts make laws, which they strictly

proclaim.
To conceal their own faults and to cover their

shame, [the wall,

Yet the beasts in the field, and the stones in
Will publish their faults and prophesy their fall ;
When they take from the people the freedom of

words.
They teach them the sooner to fall to their swords.



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OP MAUVELL. 269

Let the city drink coffee and quietly groan, —
They who conquered the father won't be slaves

to the son.
For wine and strong drink make tumults increase,
Chocolate, tea, and coffee, are liquors of peace ;
No quarrels, or oaths are among those who drink

'em,
'Tis Bacchus and the brewer swear, damn *em /

and sink *em !
Then Charles thy edict against coffee recall,
There 's ten times more treason in brandy and ale.



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270 THE POEMS



HODGE'S VISION FROM THE MONUMENT,

DECEMBER 1675.

A conntiy clown called Hodoe, went up to yiew
The pjrramid; pray mark what did ensue.



1



When Hodge had numbered up how many score
The airy pyramid contained, he swore
No mortal wight e'er climbed so high before.
To the best vantage placed, he views around
The imperial town, with lofty turrets crowned ;
That wealthy storehouse of the bounteous flood.
Whose peaceful tides o'erflow our land with

good;
Confused forms flit by his wandering eyes,
And his rapped soul *s o'erwhelmed with extasies.
Some god it seems has entered his plain breast,
And with 's abode the rustic mansion blessed ;
A mighty change he feels in every part.
Light shines in 's eyes, and wisdom rules his

heart.
So when her pious son fair Venus showed
His flaming Troy, with slaughtered Dardans

strewed,



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OP MARYELL. 271

She purged his optics, filled with mortal night.
And Troy's sad doom he read by heaven's light.
Such light divine broke on the clouded eyes
Of humble Hodge.

Regions remote, courts, councils, policies,
The circling wiles of tyrants* treacheries
He views, discerns, unciphers, penetrates,
From Charles's Dukes, to Europe's armed

states.
First he beholds proud Rome and France com-
bined,
By double vassalage to enslave mankind ;
That would the soul, this would the body sway,
Their bulls and edicts none must disobey.
For these with war sad Europe they inflame,
Rome says for God, and France declares for

fame.
See, soni^ of Satan, how religion's force
Is gentleness, fame bought with blood a curse.
He whom all styled ^ Delight of human kind,"
Justice and mercy, truth with honour joined ;
His kindly rays cherished the teeming earth.
And struggling virtue blessed with prosperous

birth.
Like Chaos you the tottering globe invade,
Religion cheat, and war ye make a trade.
Next the lewd palace of the plotting King,
To 's eyes new scenes of frantic folly bring.
Behold (says he) the fountain of our woe.
From whence our vices and our ruin flow.



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}



272 THE POEII8

Here parents their own offspring prostitute.
By such vile arts to obtain some viler suit.
Here blooming youth adore Priapus' shrine,
And priests pronounce him sacred and divine.
The goatish god behold in his alcove,
(The secret scene of damned incestuous love)
Melting in lust, and drunk like Lot, he lies
Betwixt two bright daughter-divinities.
Oh ! that like Saturn he had eat his brood.
And had been thus stained with their impious

blood;
He had in that less ill, more manhood showed.
Cease, cease, (O Charles) thus to pollute our

isle.
Return, return, to thy long-wished exile ;
There with thy court defile thy neighbour-
states.
And with their crimes precipitate their fates.
See where the Duke in damned divan does sit,
To *8 vast designs wracking his pigmy wit ;
Whilst a clioice senate of the Ignatian crew.
The ways to murder, treason, conquest show.
Dissenters they oppress with law severe,
That whilst to wound those innocents we fear.
Their cursed sect we may be forced to spare.
Twice the reformed must fight a bloody prize.
That Rome and France may on their ruin rise,
Old Bonner single heretics did burn.
These reformed cities into ashes turn.
And every year new fires do make us mourn.



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OP MARVELL. 273



■■}



Ireland stands ready for his cruel reign ;
Well-fattened once, she gapes for blood again,
For blood of English martyrs basely slain.
Our valiant youth abroad must learn the trade
Of unjust war, their country to invade,
Whilst others here do guard us, to^ prepare
Our galled necks his iron yoke to bear.
Lo ! how the Wight already is betrayed,
And Bashaw Holmes does the poor isle invade.
To ensure the plot, Prance must her legions

lend,
Rome to restore, and to enthrone Rome's friend. .
*Tis in return, James does our fleet betray,
(That fleet whose thunder made the world obey. )
Ships once our safety, and our glorious might,
Are doomed with worms and rottenness to fight,
Whilst France rides sovereign o'er the British

main,
Our merchants robbed, and our brave seamen>

ta'en.
Thus the rash Phaeton with fury hurled,
And rapid rage, consumes our British world-
Blast him, O heavens ! in his mad career,
And let this isle no more his frenzy fear.
Cursed James, 'tis he that all good men abhor.
False to thyself, and to thy friend much more ;
To him who did thy promised pardon hope,*
Whilst with pretended joy he kissed the rope :

* Coleman.

18



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ie, I



274 Tii:-: roKMS

O'erwhelmed with guilt, and gasping out a lie,
Deceived and unprepai*ed, thou \ei*d6t him die,
With equal gratitude and charity.
In spite of Jermin, and of black -mouthed

fame.
This Stuart's trick legitimates thy name.
With one consent we all her death desire,
Who durst her husband's and her king's

conspire. *
And now just Heaven 's prepared to set us free,
Heaven and our hopes are both opposed by

thee.
Thus fondly thou dost Hyde's old treason Qwn,
Thus make thy new-suspected treason known.

Bless me I What 's that at Westminster

I see?
That piece of legislative pageantry !
To our dear James has Rome her conclave

lent?
Or has Charles bought the Paris parliament ?
None else James would promote with §o much

zeal,
Who by proviso hopes the crown to steal.
Sec how in humble guise the slaves advance.
To tell a tale of army, and of France,
Whilst proud prerogative in scornful guise.
Their fear, love, duty, danger, does despise.

* Queen Catherine wus suspected to be in a plot against
the king's life.



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OF MARVELL. 275

There, in a bribed committee, they contrive
To give our birthrights to prerogative :
Give, did I say ? They sell, and sell so dear
That half each tax Danby distributes there.
Danby, 'tis fit the price so great shall be,
They sell religion, sell their liberty.
These vipers have their mother's entrails torn,
And would by force a second time be born.
They haunt the place to which you once were sent,
This ghost of a departed parliament.
Gibbets and haltei*s, countrymen, prepare,
Let none, let none their renegadoes spare.
When that day comes, we '11 part the sheep and

goats.
The spruce bribed monsieurs from the true gray

coats.
New parliaments, like manna, all tastes please,
But kept too long, our food turns our disease.
From that loathed sight, Hodge turned his weep-
ing eyes.
And London thus alarms with loyal cries :
** Though common danger does approach so nigh.
This stupid town sleeps in security.
Out of your golden dreams awake, awake,
Your all, though you see not, your all 's at

stake !

More dreadful fires approach your falling town ^

Than those which burned your stately struc- I

tures down, j

Such fatal fires as once in Smithfield shone. ''



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276 THE POEMS

If then je fftaj till Edwards orders give,*
No mortal arm your safety can retrieve.
See how with golden baits the crafly Gaul
Has bribed our geese to yield the capitoL
And will ye tamely see yourselves betrayed ?
Will none stand up in our dear country's aid ?

<' Self-preservation, nature's first great law,
All the creation, except man, does awe :
'Twas in him fixed, till lying priests defaced
His heaven-bom mind, and nature's tablets

rased.
Tell me, ye forging crew, what law revealed
By God, to kings iha jus dluinum sealed?
If to do good, yeju9 divtmcm call.
It is the grand pi^erogative of all :
If to do ill, unpunished^ be their right,
Such power's not granted that great king of

night.
Man's life moves on the poles of hope and fear,
Keward and pain all ordei*s do revere.
But if your dear lord sovereign you would spare,
Admonish him in his blood-thii*sty heir.
So when the royal lion does offend,
The beaten cur*s example makes him mend. *'
This said, poor Hodge, then in a broken tone.
Cried out, "Oh Charles! thy life, thy life, thy
crown !

♦ Edwards, then lorJ-mayor.



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OF MARVELL. 277

Ambitious James, and bloody priests conspire,
Plots, papists, murders, massacres, and fire ;
Poor Protestants ! " with that his eyes did roll,
His body fell, out fled his frighted soul.



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278 THE POEMS



CLARENDON'S HOUSE-WABMING.

When Clarendon had discerned beforehand
(As the cause can easily foretell the effect)

At once three deluges threatening our land,*
'Twas the season, he thought, to turn architect

Us Mars, and Apollo, and Vulcan consume ;
While he the betrayer of England and
Flanders,
Like the kingfisher chooseth to build in the
broom,
And nestles in flames like the salamander.

But observing that mortals run oflen behind,
(So unreasonable are the rates they buy at)

His omnipotence therefore much rather designed.
How he might create a house with a fiat

He had read of Rhodope, a lady of Thrace,
Who was digged up so often ere she did marry ;

* The Dutch war, the plague, and the fire of London.



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OP MARYELL. 279

And wished that his daughter had had as much
grace,
To erect him a pyramid out of her quarry.

But then recollecting how the harper Aniphion
Made Thebes dance aloft while he fiddled and
sung.
He thought, as an instrument he was most free on,
To build with the Jew's-trump of his own tongue.

Yet a precedent fitter in Virgil he found,

Of African Poultney, and Tyrian Dide ;
That he begged for a palace so much of his
ground,*
As might carry the measure and name of a
Hyde.

Thus daily his gouty inventions him pained,
And all for to save the expenses of brickbat ;

That engine so fatal which Denham had brained.
And too much resembled this wife's chocolate.

But while these devices he all doth compare.
None solid enough seemed for his strong castor ;

He himself would not dwell in a castle of air.
Though he had built full many a one for his
master.

* The Enii of Clarendon hud a grant from Khig Charles
the Second, for a piece of ground near St. James's, to build
% house on.



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280 THE POEMS

Already he had got all our money and cattle,
To buy us for slaves and purcliase our lands

What Joseph by famine, lie wrought by sea battle ;
Nay, scarce the priest's portion could 'scape
from his hands.

And hence like Pharaoh that Israel pressed
To make mortar and brick, yet allowed *em no
straw,
He cared not though Eg}'pt's ten plagues us
distressed,
So he could to build but make policy law.

The Scotch forts and Dunkirk, but that they
were sold,
He would have demolished to raise up his
walls ;
Nay e'en fi-om Tangier have sent back for the
mould,
But that he had nearer the stones of St.
Paul's. *

His woods would come in at the easier rate.
So long as the yards had a deal or a spar :

His friend in the navy would not be ingrate,
To grudge him some timber, who fi-amcd him
the war.

* There was then a design of repairing St. PauPs, which
was afterwards laid aside, and the stones intended for that,
were bought by the Lord Cl;irendon to build his house with.



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OF MARVELL. 281

To proceed in the model, he called in his Aliens,
The two Aliens when jovial, who ply him with
gallons ;
The two Aliens who served his blind justice for
balance,
The two Aliens who served his injustice for
talons.

Thej approve it thus far, and said it was fine ;

Yet his lordship to finish it would be unable,
Unless all abroad he divulged the design,

For his house then would grow like a vegetable.

His rent would no more in arrear run to Wor'ster ;
He should dwell more noble and cheap too at
home.
While into a fabric the presents would muster ;
As by hook and by crook the world clustered
of atom.

He liked the advice and then soon it essayed,
And presents crowd headlong to give good
example.
So the bribes overlaid her that Rome once be*
trayed ;
The tribes ne'er contributed so to the temple.

Straight judges, priests, bishops, true sons of the
seal.
Sinners, governors, farmers, bankers, patentees,



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282 THE FOEMS

Bring in the whole mite of a year at a meal.
As the Chedder club's dairy to the incorporate
cheese.

Bulteale's, BeaVn's,* Morley's, Wren's fingers
with telling
Were shrivelled, and Clatterbuck's, Eager*^,
and Kipps' ;
Since the act of oblivion was never such selling,
As at this benevolence out of the snips.
Twas then that the chimney-contractors he smoked,
Nor would take his beloved canary in kind :

But he swore that the patent should ne'er be
revoked,
No, would the whole parliament kiss him behind.

Like Jove under ^tna o'erwhelming the giant.
For foundation the Bristol sunk in the earth's
bowel ;

And St John must now for the leads be compliant,
Or his right hand shall be cut off with a trowel.

For surveying the building, 'twas Prat did the feat ;

But for the expense he relied on Woi'stenholm,
Who sat heretofore at the king's receipt.

But received now and paid the Chancellor's
custom.

* Perhaps Beachem, a jeweller mentioned by Pepys.



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OF MAKVKLL. 283

By subsidies thus both cleric and laic,

And with matter profane cemented with holy ;

He finished at last his palace mosaic,

By a model more excellent than Lesly*s folly.

And upon the terrace, to consummate all,
A lantern like Faux's, surveys the burnt
town,
And shows on the top by the regal gilt ball,
Where you are to expect the sceptre and
crown.

Fond city, its rubbish and ruins that builds,
Like vain chemists, a flower from its ashes
returning.
Your metropolis house is in St. James's fields,
And till there you remove, you shall never
leave burning.

This temple of war and of peace is the shrine.
Where this idol of state sits adored and
accursed ;
To handsel his altar and nostrils divine.

Great Buckingham's sacrifice must be the
first.

Now some (as all builders must censure abide)
Throw dust in its front, and blame situation :

And others as much reprehend his back-side.
As too narrow by far for his expatiation ;



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284 THE POEMS

But do not consider how in process of times,
That for namesake he may with Hyde-Park it
enhirge,
And with that convenience he soon, for his crimes,
At Tyburn may land and spare the Tower-
barge.

Or rather how wisely his stall was built near.
Lest with di'iving too far his tallow impair ;

When like the good ox, ft>r public good-cheer.
He comes to be roasted next St. James's fair.



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OF MARVELL. 285



UPON ins HOUSE.

Here lie the sacred bones

Of Paul beguiled of his stones :

Here lie golden briberies,

The price of ruined families ;

The cavalier's debenture wall,

Fixed on an eccentric basis :

Here 's Dunkirk-Town and Tangier- Hall,*

The Queen's marriage and all.

The Dutchman's templum pctcis. f

* Some call it Dunkirk house, intimating that it was
builded by liis share of the price of Dunkirk. Tangier was
part of Queen Catherine's portion, the match between whom
and the King he was suspected to have a hand in making.

t It was said he had money of the Dutch, to treat of a



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286 THE POEMS



ON THB

LORD MAYOR, AND COURT OF ALDERMEN,

rKESEJfTVXQ THE Kli(Q AXD THE DUKE OF YOItK, E^VCH
WITH ▲ COPT OP HIS FUKKDUOI, AKNO DOM. 1674.

A BALLAD.



The Londoners gent
To the King do present,

In a booc, the City maggot ;

'Tis a thing full of weight,
That requires all the might

Of the whole Guiid-IIall team to drag it

II.
Whilst their churches unbuilt.
And their houses undwelt,

And their orphans want bread to feed 'em ;
Themselves they've bereft
Of the little wealth they 'd left,

To make an offering of their freedom.



O ye addle-brained cits !
Who henceforth, in their wits,



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OP MARVKLL. 287

Would intrust their youth to your heeding ?
When in diamonds and gold
You have him thus enrolled ?

Ye know both his friends and his breeding !

IV.

Beyond sea he began,

Where such a riot he ran,
That every-one there did leave him ;

And now he 's come o'er

Ten times worse than before,
When none but such fools would receive
him.

V.

He ne'er knew, not he,

How to serve or be free.
Though he has passed through so many adven-
tures;

But e'er since he was bound,

(That is, he was crowned)
He has every day broke his indentui*es.

VI.

He spends all his days

In running to plays,
When he ought in his shop to be poring ;

And he wastes all his nights

In his constant delights,
Of revelling, drinking, and whoring.



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2S8 THE POEMS

VII.

Throughout Lombard-street,

Each roan he did meet,
He would i*un on the score with and borrow ;

When they asked for their own,

He was broke and was gone,
And his creditors all left to sorrow.

VIII.

Though oft bound to the peace.

Yet he never would cease
To vex his poor neighbours with quarrels ;

And when he was beat,

He still made his retreat
To his Clevelands, his Nells, and his Carwells.

Naj, his company lewd

Were twice grown so rude.
That had not fear taught him sobriety,

And the house being wcU barred.

With guard upon guard,
They 'd robbed us of all our propriety.

X.

Such a plot was laid,
Had not Ashley betrayed.
As had cancelled all former disasters ;

And your wives had been strumpets
To his highness's trumpets,



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OF MARVELL. 289

And footboys bad all been your masters.

XI.

So many are tbe debts,

And tbe bastards be gets,
Wbicb must all be defrayed by London ;

Tbat notwitbstanding the care

Of Sir Thomas Player,
The chamber must needs be undone.

XII.

His words or his oath

Cannot bind him to troth,
And he values not credit or history ;

And though he has served through

Two 'prenticeships now,
He knows not his trade nor his mystery.

xin.

Then,. London,, rejoice*

In thy fortunate choice.
To have him made free of thy spices;

And do not mistrust,

He may once grow more just.
When he 's worn off his follies and vices.

XIV.
And what little thing
Is that which you bring
To the Duke, the kingdom's darling ?
19



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290 THE POEMS

Ye hug it, and draw
Like ants at a straw,
Though too small for the gristle of sterling.

XV.

It is a hox of pills

To cure the Duke's ills ?
He is too far gone to begin it !

Or does your fine show

In processioning go,
With the pyx and the host within it ?

XVI.

The very first head

Of the oath you him read,

Show you all how fit he 's to govern.

When in heart, you all knew,
He ne'er was, nor '11 be, true

To his country or to his sovereign.

XVII.

And wJio, pray, could swear,

That he would forbear
To cull out the good of an alien,

Who still doth advance

The government of France
With a wife and religion Italian ?

XVIII.

And now, worshipful sirs,
Go fold up your furs.



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OF MAUVELL. 291



And Viners turn again, turn again ;
I see (whoe'er *s freed,)
You for slaves are decreed,

Until you burn again, burn agsiin.



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292 TUK POEMS



ON BLOOD'S STEALING THE CROWN.

When daring Blood, Lis rent to have regained,

Upon the English diadem distrained,

He chose the cassock, surcingle, and gown,

The fittest mask for one that i*obs the crown :

But his lay-pity underneath prevailed,

And whilst he saved the keeper's life he failed ;

With the priest's vestment had he but put on

The prelate's cruelty, the crown had gone.



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OF MARVELL. 293



NOSTRADMUS' PROPHECY.

For faults and follies London's doom shall fix ;
And she must sink in flames in sixty-six.
Fire-balls shall fly, but few shall see the train,
As far as from Whitehall to Pudding-Lane,
To burn ihe city, which again shall rise,
Beyond all hopes, aspiring to the skies,
Where vengeance dwells. But there is one

thing more.
Though its walls stand, shall bring the city lower :
When legislators shall their trust betray,
Saving their own, shall give the rest away ;
And those false men, by the easy people sent^
Give taxes to the king by parliament ;
When barefaced villains shall not blush to cheat.
And chequer-doors shall shut up Lombard-street ; *

* In tho year 1672, the court resolving on a war, looked
out for money to carry it on. The method they took to get
it was this: The King had agreed with some bankers, with
whom he bad contracted a debt of near a million nn<l a half,
to assign over the revenue to them ; and he paid tliem at the
rate of eight per cent, and in some proclamations promised



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294 THE POEMS

When plajers come to act the part of queens,
Within the curtains, and behind the scenes ; *
When sodomj shall be prime minister's s|)ort,
And whoring shall be the least crime at court ;
When boys shall take their sisters for their

mate,
And practise incest between seven and eight ;
When no man knows in whom to put his trust,
And e'en to rob the chequer shall be just ;
When declarations, lies, and every oath,
Shall be in use at court, but faith and troth ;
When two good kings shall be at Brentford

town.
And when in London there shall not be one ;
When the seat's given to a talking fool.
Whom wise men laugh at, and whom women rule,
A minister able only in his tongue,
To make harsh empty speeches two hours long ;
When an old Scotch covenanter shall be
The champion for the English hierarchy ; t
When bishops shall lay all religion by.
And strive by law to establish tyranny ;

he would make good all his assignments, till the whole debt
was paid; but, in order for a supply, the payments were
stopped for a your. This was a great shock to the b:inkcr> ;
for many of the nobility and gentry, who were in the sccrc,
took their money, before tlie design was publicly known, out
of the hands of their bankers.

♦ Reflecting on tlie King for taking Mrs. Gwyn from the
ttage.

t Lauderdale, who was at first a noted Dissenter.



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OP MARVELL. 295

When a lean treasurer shall in one year
Make himself fat, his king and people hare ;
When the English prince shall Englishmen

despise,
And think French only loyal, Irish wise ;
When wooden shoon shall be the English wear,
And Magna Charta shall no more appear ; —

Then the English shall a greater tyrant know,
Than either Greek or Latin story show ;
Their wives to 's lust exposed, their wealth to 's

spoil.
With groans, to fill his treasury, they toil ;
But like the Belides must sigh in vain,
For that still filled flows out as fast again ;
Then they with envious eyes shall Belgium see,
And wish in vain Venetian liberty.

The frogs too late, grown weary of their pain.
Shall pray to Jove to take him back again.



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296 THE POEMS



ROYAL RESOLUTIONS.



When plate was at pawn, and fob at an ebb.

And spider might weave in bowels its weby

And stomach as empty as brain ;

Then Charles without acre.

Did swear by his Maker,

If e'er I see England again,

I '11 have a religion all of my own,

Whether Popish or Protestant shall not be

known ;
And if it prove troublesome, I will have none.

II.
I '11 have a long parliament always to friend.
And furnish my treasure as fast as I spend,
And if they will not, they shall have an end.

m.
I '11 have a council shall sit always still.
And give me a license to do what I will ;
And two secrer-aries shall piss through a quill.



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OF MARVELL. 297



IV.

Mj insolent brother shall bear all the sway ;
If parliaments murmur, I '11 send him away.
And call him again as soon as I may.



I *11 have a rare son, in marrying though marred,
Shall govern (if not my kingdom) my guard,
And shall be successor to me or Gerard.

VI.

I '11 have a new London instead of the old.
With wide streets and uniform to my old mould ;
But if they build too fast, I '11 bid 'em hold.

VII.

The ancient nobility I will lay by,

And new ones create their rooms to supply,

And they shall raise fortunes for my own fry.

VIII.

Some one I '11 advance from a common descent.
So high that he shall hector the parliament^
And all wholesome laws for the public prevent,

IX.

And I will assert him to such a degree

That all his foul treasons, though daring and high.

Under my hand and seal shall have indemnity.



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298 THE POEMS



X.

And, whftte'er it cost me, I'll have a French

wliore,
As bold as Alice Pierce, and as fair as Jane

Shore;
And when I am weary of her, I *11 have more.

XI.

Which if anj bold commoner dare to oppose,
I '11 order my bravos to cut off his nose,*
Tliough for 't I a branch of prerogative lose.

XII.

My pimp shall be my minister premier,
My bawds call ambassadors far and near,
And my wench shall dispose of Conge d'Elire.

XIII.

I 'II wholly abandon all public affairs,

And pass all my time with buffoons and players.

And saunter to Nelly when I should be at prayers.

XIV.

I '11 have a fine pond witli a pretty decoy,
Where many strange fowl shall feed and enjoy.
And still in their language quack Vive le Roy !

* Alluding to the barbarity acted on Sir John Ck>ventry.



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OF MARVKLL. 299



A HISTORICAL POEM.

Of a tall statuiHJ, and of sable hue,
Much like the son of Kish, that lofly Jew,
Twelve years complete he suffered in exile,
And kept his father's asses all the while ;
At length, by wondeiful impulse of fate.
The people call him home to help the state,
And, what is more, they send him money too,
And clothe him all, from head to foot, anew.
Nor did he such small favours then disdain.
Who in his thirteenth year began his reign :
In a slashed doublet then he came ashore,
And dubbed poor Palmer's* wife his royal whore.
Bishops, and deans, peers, pimps, and knights, he

made ;
Things highly fitting for a monarch's trade !
With women, wine, and viands of delight,
His jolly vassals feast him day and night.



* Mrs. Palmer, aftervrnrds Duchess of Cleveland, whom
the king took from her husband.



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300 TIIK POEMS

But the best times have ever some allay,
His* younger brother died by treachery.
Bold James survives, no dangers make him

flinch,

He marries signor Fal h's pregnant wench.

The pious mother queen, hearing her son
Was thus enamoured with a buttered bun.
And that the fleet was gone, in pomp and state,
To fetch, for Charles, the flowery Lisbon Kate,
She chants Te Deum^ and so comes away,
To wish her hopeful issue timely joy.
Her most uxorious mate she ruled of old,
Why not with easy youngsters make as bold ?
From the French court she haughty topics

brings.
Deludes their pliant nature with vain things ;
Her mischief-breeding breast did so prevail.
The new-got Flemish town was set to sale ;
For these, and Germain's sins, she founds a

church.
So slips away, and leaves us in the lurch.
Now the court-sins did every place defile,
And plagues and war fall heavy on the isle ;
Pride nourished folly, folly a delight.
With the Batavian commonwealth to fight.
But the Dutch fleet fled suddenly with fear.
Death and the duke so dreadful did appear.



* The Duke of Gloucester, third brother to the king. He
was much more loved than the Duke of York.



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OF MAUVKLL. 301

The dreadful victor took his soft repose,
Scorning pursuit of such mechanic foes'.

But now York's genitals grew over hot,
With Denham's and Carnegie's infected plot.
Which, with religion so inflamed his ire.
He left the city when 'twas set on fire.
So Philip's son, inflamed with a miss,
Burned down the palace of Persepolis.
Toiled thus by Venus, he Bellona woos,
And with the Dutch a second wai* renews ;
But here his French-bred prowess proved in vain,
De Ruyter claps him in Solebay again.

This isle was well reformed, and gained renown,
Whilst the brave Tudors wore the imperial

crown :
But since the royal race of Stuarts came,
It was recoiled to popery and shame ;
Misguided monarchs, rarely wise and just.
Tainted with pride, and with impetuous lust.

Should we the Blackheath project here <v
relate, I

Or count the various blemishes of state, [

My muse would on the reader's patience grate. ^
The poor Priapus king, led by the nose,
Looks as a thing set up to scare the crows ;
Yet, in the mimics of the spinstrian sporty
Outdoes Tiberius, and his goatish court



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302 Tnc roEMS

In* love's delights none did them e'er excel,
Not Tereus with his sister Philomel ;
As they at Athens, we ut Dover meet.
And gentlier far Uie Orleans duche^ treaL
What sad event attended on the same.
We '11 leave to the report of comoum fame.
The senate, which should headstrong princes

sUy,
Let loose tlie reins, and gave the realm away ;
With lavish bands they constant tributes give.
And annual stipends for their guilt receive ;
Ck>rrupt with gold, they wives and daughters

bring
To the black idol for an offering.
All but religious cheats might justly swear,
He true vicegerent to old Moloch were.

Priests were the first deluders of mankind.
Who with vain faith made all their reason blind ;
Not Lucifer himself more proud than they.
And yet persuade the world they must obey ;
Of avarice and luxury complain.
And practise all the vices they arraign.



♦ The king's sister, the Duchess of Orleans, was a woman
of great intrigue. In the year 1671, she and her brother mot
Ht Dover. When she returned into France, the Duke of
Orleans, who had received very strange accounts of her
behaviour in England, ordered a great dose of sublimate to
be given her in a glass of succory water, of whicli* she died
in great torment.



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OF MARY ELL. 303

Riches and honour they from laymen reap
And with dull crambo teed the silly sheep.
As Killigrew buffoons his master, they
Droll on their god, but a much duller way.
With hocus-pocus, and their heavenly fight,
They gain on tender consciences at night.
Whoever has an over-zealous wife.
Becomes the priest's Amphitryo during life.
Who would such men heaven's messengers

believe,
Who from the sacred pulpit dare deceive ?
Baal's wretched curates legerdemained it so.
And never durst their tricks above-board show.

When our first parents Paradise did grace,
The serpent was the prelate of the place ;
Fond Eve did, for this subtle tempter's sake.
From the forbidden tree the pippin take ;
His God and Lord this preacher did betray,
To have the weaker vessel made his prey.