No More Learning

Here's ado to persuade you to take a pretty
girl that's dying for you!

_Don Ant_. But I have no affection for this lady.

_Isaac_. And you have for Louisa, hey? But take my word for it,
Antonio, you have no chance there--so you may as well secure the good
that offers itself to you.

_Don Ant_. And could you reconcile it to your conscience to supplant
your friend?

_Isaac_. Pish! Conscience has no more to do with gallantry than it has
with politics. Why, you are no honest fellow if love can't make a
rogue of you; so come--do go in and speak to her, at least.

_Don Ant_, Well, I have no objection to that.

_Isaac_. [_Opens the door_. ] There--there she is--yonder by the
window--get in, do. --[_Pushes him in, and half shuts the door_. ] Now,
Carlos, now I shall hamper him, I warrant! Stay, I'll peep how they go
on. Egad, he looks confoundedly posed! Now she's coaxing him. See,
Carlos, he begins to come to--ay, ay, he'll soon forget his
conscience.

_Don Car_. Look--now they are both laughing!

_Isaac_. Ay, so they are--yes, yes, they are laughing at that dear
friend he talked of--ay, poor devil, they have outwitted him.

_Don Car_, Now he's kissing her hand.

_Isaac_, Yes, yes, faith, they're agreed--he's caught, he's entangled.
My dear Carlos, we have brought it about. Oh, this little cunning
head! I'm a Machiavel--a very Machiavel!

_Don Car_, I hear somebody inquiring for you--I'll see who it is.
[_Exit_. ]


_Re-enter_ DON ANTONIO _and_ DONNA LOUISA.

_Don Ant_. Well, my good friend, this lady has so entirely convinced
me of the certainty of your success at Don Jerome's, that I now resign
my pretensions there.

_Isaac_. You never did a wiser thing, believe me; and, as for
deceiving your friend, that's nothing at all--tricking is all fair in
love, isn't it, ma'am?

_Don. Louisa_. Certainly, sir; and I am particularly glad to find you
are of that opinion.

_Isaac_. O Lud! yes, ma'am--let any one outwit me that can, I say! But
here, let me join your hands. There you lucky rogue! I wish you
happily married from the bottom of my soul!

_Don. Louisa_. And I am sure, if you wish it, no one else should
prevent it.

_Isaac_. Now, Antonio, we are rivals no more; so let us be friends,
will you?

_Don Ant_. With all my heart, Isaac.

_Isaac_. It is not every man, let me tell you, that would have taken
such pains, or been so generous to a rival.

_Don Ant_. No, 'faith, I don't believe there's another beside yourself
in all Spain.

_Isaac_. Well, but you resign all pretensions to the other lady?

_Don Ant_. That I do, most sincerely.

_Isaac_. I doubt you have a little hankering there still.

_Don Ant_. None in the least, upon my soul.

_Isaac_. I mean after her fortune.

_Don Ant_. No, believe me. You are heartily welcome to every thing she
has.

_Isaac_. Well, i'faith, you have the best of the bargain, as to
beauty, twenty to one. Now I'll tell you a secret--I am to carry off
Louisa this very evening.

_Don. Louisa_. Indeed!

_Isaac_. Yes, she has sworn not to take a husband from her father's
hand--so I've persuaded him to trust her to walk with me in the
garden, and then we shall give him the slip.

_Don. Louisa_. And is Don Jerome to know nothing of this?

_Isaac_. O Lud, no! there lies the jest. Don't you see that, by this
step, I over-reach him? I shall be entitled to the girl's fortune,
without settling a ducat on her. Ha! ha! ha! I'm a cunning dog, an't
I? a sly little villain, eh?

_Don Ant_. Ha! ha! ha! you are indeed!

_Isaac_. Roguish, you'll say, but keen, eh? devilish keen?

_Don Ant_. So you are indeed--keen--very keen.

_Isaac_. And what a laugh we shall have at Don Jerome's when the truth
comes out I hey?

_Don. Louisa_. Yes, I'll answer for it, we shall have a good laugh,
when the truth comes out, Ha! ha! ha!

_Re-enter_ DON CARLOS.

_Don Car_. Here are the dancers come to practise the fandango you
intended to have honoured Donna Louisa with.

_Isaac_. Oh, I shan't want them; but, as I must pay them, I'll see a
caper for my money. Will you excuse me?

_Don. Louisa_. Willingly.

_Isaac_. Here's my friend, whom you may command for any service.
Madam, our most obedient--Antonio, I wish you all happiness. --
[_Aside_. ] Oh, the easy blockhead! what a tool I have made of him! --
This was a masterpiece! [_Exit_. ]

_Don. Louisa_. Carlos, will you be my guard again, and convey me to
the convent of St. Catherine?

_Don Ant_. Why, Louisa--why should you go there?

_Don. Louisa_. I have my reasons, and you must not be seen to go with
me; I shall write from thence to my father; perhaps, when he finds
what he has driven me to, he may relent.

_Don Ant_. I have no hope from him. O Louisa! in these arms should be
your sanctuary.

_Don. Louisa_. Be patient but for a little while--my father cannot
force me from thence. But let me see you there before evening, and I
will explain myself.

_Don Ant_. I shall obey.

_Don. Louisa_. Come, friend. Antonio, Carlos has been a lover himself.

_Don Ant_. Then he knows the value of his trust.

_Don Car_. You shall not find me unfaithful.

TRIO.

Soft pity never leaves the gentle breast
Where love has been received a welcome guest;
As wandering saints poor huts have sacred made,
He hallows every heart he once has sway'd,
And, when his presence we no longer share,
Still leaves compassion as a relic there. [_Exeunt_. ]




ACT III.

SCENE I. --_A Library in_ DON JEROME'S _House_.


Enter_ DON JEROME _and_ SERVANT.

_Don Jer_. Why, I never was so amazed in my life! Louisa gone off with
Isaac Mendoza! What! steal away with the very man whom I wanted her to
marry--elope with her own husband, as it were--it is impossible!

_Ser_. Her maid says, sir, they had your leave to walk in the garden,
while you were abroad. The door by the shrubbery was found open, and
they have not been heard of since. [_Exit_. ]

_Don Jer_. Well, it is the most unaccountable affair! 'sdeath! there
is certainly some infernal mystery in it I can't comprehend!


_Enter_ SECOND SERVANT, _with a letter_.

_Ser_. Here is a letter, sir, from Signor Isaac. [_Exit_. ]

_Don Jer_. So, so, this will explain--ay, Isaac Mendoza--let me see--
[_Reads_. ]

_Dearest Sir,

You must, doubtless, be much surprised at my flight with your
daughter! _--yes, 'faith, and well I may--_I had the happiness to gain
her heart at our first interview_--The devil you had! --_But, she
having unfortunately made a vow not to receive a husband from your
hands, I was obliged to comply with her whim! _--So, so! --_We shall
shortly throw ourselves at your feet, and I hope you will have a
blessing ready for one, who will then be your son-in-law_. ISAAC
MENDOZA.

A whim, hey? Why, the devil's in the girl, I think! This morning, she
would die sooner than have him, and before evening she runs away with
him! Well, well, my will's accomplished--let the motive be what it
will--and the Portuguese, sure, will never deny to fulfil the rest of
the article.


_Re-enter_ SERVANT, _with another letter_.

_Ser_. Sir, here's a man below, who says he brought this from my young
lady, Donna Louisa. [_Exit_. ]

_Don Jer_. How! yes, it's my daughter's hand, indeed! Lord, there was
no occasion for them both to write; well, let's see what she says--
[_Reads_. ]

_My dearest father,

How shall I entreat your pardon for the rash step I have taken--how
confess the motive? _--Pish! hasn't Isaac just told me the motive?
--one
would think they weren't together when they wrote. --_If I have a
spirit too resentful of ill usage, I have also a heart as easily
affected by kindness_. --So, so, here the whole matter comes out; her
resentment for Antonio's ill usage has made her sensible of Isaac's
kindness--yes, yes, it is all plain enough. Well. _I am not married
yet, though with a man who, I am convinced, adores me_. --Yes, yes, I
dare say Isaac is very fond of her. _But I shall anxiously expect your
answer, in which, should I be so fortunate as to receive your consent,
you will make completely happy your ever affectionate daughter,_
LOUISA.

My consent! to be sure she shall have it! Egad, I was never better
pleased--I have fulfilled my resolution--I knew I should. Oh, there's
nothing like obstinacy! Lewis! [_Calls_. ]


_Re-enter_ SERVANT.

Let the man who brought the last letter, wait; and get me a pen and
ink below. --[_Exit_ SERVANT. ] I am impatient to set poor Louisa's
heart at rest. [_Calls_. ]Holloa! Lewis! Sancho!


_Enter_ SERVANTS.

See that there be a noble supper provided in the saloon to-night;
serve up my best wines, and let me have music, d'ye hear?

_Ser_. Yes, sir.

_Don Jer_. And order all my doors to be thrown open; admit all guests,
with masks or without masks. --[_Exeunt_ SERVANTS. ] I'faith, we'll have
a night of it! and I'll let them see how merry an old man can be.

SONG.

Oh, the days when I was young.
When I laugh'd in fortune's spite;
Talk'd of love the whole day long,
And with nectar crown'd the night!
Then it was, old Father Care,
Little reck'd I of thy frown;
Half thy malice youth could bear,
And the rest a bumper drown.

Truth, they say, lies in a well,
Why, I vow I ne'er could see;
Let the water-drinkers tell,
There it always lay for me.
For when sparkling wine went round,
Never saw I falsehood's mask;
But still honest truth I found
In the bottom of each flask.

True, at length my vigour's flown,
I have years to bring decay;
Few the locks that now I own,
And the few I have are grey.
Yet, old Jerome, thou mayst boast,
While thy spirits do not tire;
Still beneath thy age's frost
Glows a spark of youthful fire. [_Exit_. ]




SCENE II. --_The New Piazza_.

_Enter_ DON FERDINAND _and_ LOPEZ.


_Don Ferd_. What, could you gather no tidings of her? nor guess where
she was gone? O Clara! Clara!

_Lop_. In truth, sir, I could not. That she was run away from her
father, was in everybody's mouth; and that Don Guzman was in pursuit
of her, was also a very common report. Where she was gone, or what was
become of her, no one could take upon them to say.

_Don Ferd_. 'Sdeath and fury, you blockhead! she can't be out of
Seville.

_Lop_. So I said to myself, sir. 'Sdeath and fury, you blockhead, says
I, she can't be out of Seville. Then some said, she had hanged herself
for love; and others have it, Don Antonio had carried her off.

_Don Ferd_. 'Tis false, scoundrel! no one said that.

_Lop_. Then I misunderstood them, sir.

_Don Ferd_. Go, fool, get home! and never let me see you again till
you bring me news of her. --[_Exit_ LOPEZ. ] Oh, how my fondness for
this ungrateful girl has hurt my disposition.


_Enter_ ISAAC.

_Isaac_. So, I have her safe, and have only to find a priest to marry
us. Antonio now may marry Clara, or not, if he pleases.

_Don Ferd_. What! what was that you said of Clara?

_Isaac_. Oh, Ferdinand! my brother-in-law that shall be, who thought
of meeting you?

_Don Ferd_. But what of Clara?

_Isaac_. I'faith, you shall hear. This morning, as I was coming down,
I met a pretty damsel, who told me her name was Clara d'Almanza, and
begged my protection.

_Don Ferd_. How!

_Isaac_. She said she had eloped from her father, Don Guzman, but that
love for a young gentleman in Seville was the cause.

_Don Ferd_. Oh, Heavens! did she confess it?

_Isaac_. Oh, yes, she confessed at once. But then, says she, my lover
is not informed of my flight, nor suspects my intention.

_Don Ferd_. [_Aside_. ] Dear creature! no more I did indeed! Oh, I am
the happiest fellow! --[_Aloud_. ] Well, Isaac?

_Isaac_. Why then she entreated me to find him out for her, and bring
him to her.

_Don Ferd_. Good Heavens, how lucky! Well, come along, let's lose no
time. [_Pulling him_. ]

_Isaac_. Zooks! where are we to go?

_Don Ferd_. Why, did anything more pass?

_Isaac_. Anything more! yes; the end on't was, that I was moved with
her speeches, and complied with her desires.

_Don Ferd_. Well and where is she?

_Isaac_. Where is she? why, don't I tell you? I complied with her
request, and left her safe in the arms of her lover.

_Don Ferd_. 'Sdeath, you trifle with me! --I have never seen her.

_Isaac_. You! O Lud no! how the devil should you? 'Twas Antonio she
wanted; and with Antonio I left her.

_Don Ferd_. [_Aside_. ] Hell and madness! --[_Aloud_. ] What, Antonio
d'Ercilla?

_Isaac_. Ay, ay, the very man; and the best part of it was, he was shy
of taking her at first. He talked a good deal about honour, and
conscience, and deceiving some dear friend; but, Lord, we soon
overruled that!

_Don Ferd_. You did!

_Isaac_. Oh, yes, presently. --Such deceit! says he. --Pish! says the
lady, tricking is all fair in love. But then, my friend, says he. --
Psha! damn your friend, says I. So, poor wretch, he has no chance. --
No, no; he may hang himself as soon as he pleases.

_Don Ferd_. [_Aside_. ] I must go, or I shall betray myself.

_Isaac_. But stay, Ferdinand, you han't heard the best of the joke.

_Don Ferd_. Curse on your joke!

_Isaac_. Good lack! what's the matter now? I thought to have diverted
you.

_Don Ferd_. Be racked! tortured! damned!

_Isaac_. Why, sure you are not the poor devil of a lover, are you? --
I'faith, as sure as can be, he is! This is a better joke than t'other.
Ha! ha! ha!

_Don Ferd_. What! do you laugh? you vile, mischievous varlet! --
[_Collars him_. ] But that you're beneath my anger, I'd tear your heart
out! [_Throws him from him_. ]

_Isaac_. O mercy! here's usage for a brother-in-law!

_Don Ferd_. But, hark ye, rascal! tell me directly where these false
friends are gone, or, by my soul----[_Draws_. ]

_Isaac_. For Heaven's sake, now, my dear brother-in-law, don't be in a
rage! I'll recollect as well as I can.

_Don Ferd_. Be quick, then!

_Isaac_. I will, I will! --but people's memories differ; some have a
treacherous memory: now mine is a cowardly memory--it takes to its
heels at sight of a drawn sword--it does i'faith; and I could as soon
fight as recollect.

_Don Ferd_. Zounds! tell me the truth, and I won't hurt you.

_Isaac_. No, no, I know you won't, my dear brother-in-law; but that
ill-looking thing there----

_Don Ferd_. What, then, you won't tell me?

_Isaac_. Yes, yes, I will; I'll tell you all, upon my soul! --but why
need you listen, sword in hand?