No More Learning

brother:
you must come along with me! " As I did not like his appear-
ance, instead of answering his salutation I quickened my pace,
in hope of ridding myself of his company; upon which he whis-
tled aloud, and immediately another sailor appeared before me,
who laid hold of me by the collar and began to drag me along.
Not being in a humor to relish such treatment, I disengaged
myself of the assailant, and with one blow of my cudgel laid
him motionless on the ground; and perceiving myself surrounded
in a trice by ten or a dozen more, exerted myself with such dex-
terity and success that some of my opponents were fain to attack
me with drawn cutlasses: and after an obstinate engagement, in
which I received a large wound on my head and another on my
left cheek, I was disarmed, taken prisoner, and carried on board
a pressing-tender; where, after being pinioned like a malefactor,
I was thrust down into the hold among a parcel of miserable


## p. 13583 (#397) ##########################################

TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
13583
wretches, the sight of whom well-nigh distracted me. As the
commanding officer had not humanity enough to order my
wounds to be dressed, and I could not use my own hands, I
desired one of my fellow-captives, who was unfettered, to take
a handkerchief out of my pocket, and tie it round my head to
stop the bleeding. He pulled out my handkerchief, 'tis true; but
instead of applying it to the use for which I designed it, went
to the grating of the hatchway, and with astonishing composure
sold it before my face to a bumboat woman then on board, for
a quart of gin, with which he treated my companions, regardless
of my circumstances and entreaties.
I complained bitterly of this robbery to the midshipman on
deck, telling him at the same time that unless my hurts were
dressed I should bleed to death. But compassion was a weak-
ness of which no man could justly accuse this person, who,
squirting a mouthful of dissolved tobacco upon me through the
gratings, told me "I was a mutinous dog, and that I might die
and be d-d. " Finding there was no other remedy, I appealed
to patience, and laid up this usage in my memory, to be recalled
at a fitter season. In the mean time, loss of blood, vexation, and
want of food, contributed with the noisome stench of the place
to throw me into a swoon; out of which I was recovered by a
tweak of the nose, administered by the tar who stood sentinel over
us, who at the same time regaled me with a draught of flip, and
comforted me with the hopes of being put on board the Thunder
next day, where I should be freed of my handcuffs, and cured of
my wounds by the doctor. I no sooner heard him name the
Thunder, than I asked if he had belonged to that ship long? and
he giving me to understand he had belonged to her five years,
I inquired if he knew Lieutenant Bowling? "Know Lieutenant
Bowling? " said he, "odds my life! and that I do: and a good
seaman he is as ever stepped upon forecastle; and a brave fellow
as ever cracked biscuit: none of your guinea-pigs, nor your fresh-
water, wishy-washy, fair-weather fowls. Many a tough gale of
wind has honest Tom Bowling and I weathered together. Here's
his health with all my heart, wherever he is, aloft or alow; in
heaven or in hell; all's one for that - he needs not be ashamed
to show himself. " I was so much affected with this eulogium
that I could not refrain from telling him that I was Lieuten-
ant Bowling's kinsman; in consequence of which connection he
expressed an inclination to serve me; and when he was relieved,
-


## p. 13584 (#398) ##########################################

13584
TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
brought some cold boiled beef in a platter, and biscuit, on which
we supped plentifully, and afterwards drank another can of flip
together.
While we were thus engaged, he recounted a great many
exploits of my uncle, who I found was very much beloved by
the ship's company, and pitied for the misfortune that had
happened to him in Hispaniola, which I was very glad to be
informed was not so great as I imagined; for Captain Oakum
had recovered of his wounds, and actually at that time com-
manded the ship. Having by accident in my pocket my uncle's
letter, written from Port Louis, I gave it to my benefactor (whose
name was Jack Rattlin) for his perusal; but honest Jack told me.
frankly he could not read, and desired to know the contents, -
which I immediately communicated. When he heard that part
of it in which he says he had written to his landlord in Deal,
he cried, "Body o' me! that was old Ben Block: he was dead
before the letter came to hand. Ey, ey, had Ben been alive,
Lieutenant Bowling would have had no occasion to skulk so long.
Honest Ben was the first man that taught him to hand, reef,
and steer. Well, well, we must all die, that's certain; we must
all come to port sooner or later, at sea or on shore; we must
be fast moored one day; death's like the best bower-anchor, as
the saying is,- it will bring us all up.
>>
I could not but signify my approbation of the justness of
Jack's reflections; and inquired into the occasion of the quar-
rel between Captain Oakum and my uncle, which he explained
in this manner. "Captain Oakum, to be sure, is a good man
enough; besides, he's my commander: but what's that to me? I
do my duty, and value no man's anger of a rope's-end. Now
the report goes as how he's a lord, or baron-knight's brother,
whereby, d'ye see me, he carries a straight arm, and keeps aloof
from his officers, thof mayhap they may be as good men in the
main as he. Now, we lying at anchor in Tuberoon Bay, Lieu-
tenant Bowling had the middle watch: and as he always kept
a good lookout, he made, d'ye see, three lights in the offing,
whereby he ran down to the great cabin for orders, and found
the captain asleep; whereupon he waked him, which put him in
a main high passion, and he swore woundily at the lieutenant,
and called him swab and lubber, whereby the lieutenant returned
the salute, and they jawed together, fore and aft, a good spell,
till at last the captain turned out, and laying hold of a rattan,
――――――――


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TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
13585
came athwart Mr. Bowling's quarter; whereby he told the cap-
tain that if he was not his commander he would heave him
overboard, and demanded satisfaction ashore; whereby in the
morning watch the captain went ashore in the pinnace, and
afterwards the lieutenant carried the cutter ashore; and so they,
leaving the boats' crews on their oars, went away together; and
so, d'ye see, in less than a quarter of an hour we heard firing,
whereby we made for the place, and found the captain lying
wounded on the beach, and so brought him on board to the doc-
tor, who cured him in less than six weeks. But the lieutenant
clapped on all the sail he could bear, and had got far enough
ahead before we knew anything of the matter, so that we could
never after get sight of him; for which we were not sorry,
because the captain was mainly wroth, and would certainly have
done him a mischief; for he afterwards caused him to be run or
the ship's books, whereby he lost all his pay, and if he should be
taken would be tried as a deserter. "
This account of the captain's behavior gave me no advan-
tageous idea of his character; and I could not help lament-
ing my own fate, that had subjected me to such a commander
However, making a virtue of necessity, I put a good face on the
matter, and next day was, with the other pressed men, put on
board the Thunder, lying at the Nore. When we came alongside,
the mate who guarded us thither ordered my handcuffs to be
taken off, that I might get on board the easier. This circumstance
being perceived by some of the company who stood upon the
gang-boards to see us enter, one of them called to Jack Rattlin,
who was busy in doing this friendly office for me,-"Hey, Jack,
what Newgate galley have you boarded in the river as you came.
along? have we not thieves enow among us already? " Another,
observing my wounds which remained exposed to the air, told
me my seams were uncalked, and that I must be new payed.
A third, seeing my hair clotted together with blood, as it were,
into distinct cords, took notice that my bows were manned with
the red ropes instead of my side. A fourth asked me if I could
not keep my yards square without iron braces? And in short,
a thousand witticisms of the same nature were passed upon me
before I could get up the ship's side. After we had been all
entered upon the ship's books, I inquired of one of my shipmates
where the surgeon was, that I might have my wounds dressed;
and had actually got as far as the middle deck-for our ship
XXIII-850


## p. 13586 (#400) ##########################################

13586
TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
carried eighty guns-in my way to the cockpit, when I was
met by the same midshipman who had used me so barbarously
in the tender. He, seeing me free from my chains, asked with
an insolent air who had released me?
I'll teach
To this question I foolishly answered, with a countenance that
too plainly declared the state of my thoughts, "Whoever did it,
I am persuaded, did not consult you in the affair. "
I had no
sooner uttered these words, than he cried, "You
you to talk so to your officer. " So saying, he bestowed on
me several stripes with a supple-jack he had in his hand; and
going to the commanding officer, made such a report of me that
I was immediately put in irons by the master-at-arms, and a sen-
tinel placed over me. Honest Rattlin, as soon as he heard of
my condition, came to me, and administered all the consolation
he could; and then went to the surgeon in my behalf, who sent
one of his mates to dress my wounds.
This mate was no other than my old friend Thompson, with
whom I became acquainted at the navy office, as before men-
tioned. If I knew him at first sight, it was not easy for him to
recognize me, disfigured with blood and dirt, and altered by the
misery I had undergone. Unknown as I was to him, he sur-
veyed me with looks of compassion; and handled my sores with
great tenderness. When he had applied what he thought proper,
and was about to leave me, I asked him if my misfortunes
had disguised me so much that he could not recollect my face?
Upon this address, he observed me with great earnestness for
some time, and at length protested that he could not recollect
one feature of my countenance. To keep him no longer in sus-
pense, I told him my name: which when he heard, he embraced
me with affection, and professed his sorrow at seeing me in such
a disagreeable situation. I made him acquainted with my story;
and when he heard how inhumanly I had been used in the ten-
der, he left me abruptly, assuring me I should see him again
soon. I had scarce time to wonder at his sudden departure,
when the master-at-arms came to the place of my confinement
and bade me follow him to the quarter-deck; where I was exam-
ined by the first lieutenant, who commanded the ship in the
absence of the captain, touching the treatment I had received in
the tender from my friend the midshipman, who was present to
confront me. I recounted the particulars of his behavior to me,
not only in the tender, but since my being on board the ship;
"


## p. 13587 (#401) ##########################################

TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
13587
part of which being proved by the evidence of Jack Rattlin and
others, who had no great devotion for my oppressor, I was dis-
charged from confinement to make way for him, who was deliv-
ered to the master-at-arms to take his turn in the bilboes. And
this was not the only satisfaction I enjoyed; for I was, at the
request of the surgeon, exempted from all other duty than that
of assisting his mates in making and administering medicines
to the sick. This good office I owed to the friendship of Mr.
Thompson, who had represented me in such a favorable light to
the surgeon that he demanded me of the lieutenant to supply
the place of his third mate, who was lately dead.
RODERICK VISITS A GAMING-HOUSE
From Roderick Random>
Α'
T LENGTH, however, finding myself reduced to my last guinea,
I was compelled to disclose my necessity, though I endeav-
ored to sweeten the discovery by rehearsing to him the daily
assurances I received from my patron. But these promises were
not of efficacy sufficient to support the spirits of my friend, who
no sooner understood the lowness of my finances, than uttering
a dreadful groan, he exclaimed, "In the name of God, what shall
we do! " In order to comfort him, I said that many of my
acquaintance who were in a worse condition than we, supported
notwithstanding the character of gentlemen; and advising him
to thank God that we had as yet incurred no debt, proposed he
should pawn my sword of steel inlaid with gold, and trust to my
discretion for the rest. This expedient was wormwood and gall
to poor Strap, who, in spite of his invincible affection for me,
still retained notions of economy and expense suitable to the
narrowness of his education; nevertheless he complied with my
request, and raised seven pieces on the sword in a twinkling.
This supply, inconsiderable as it was, made me as happy for the
present as if I had kept five hundred pounds in bank: for by
this time I was so well skilled in procrastinating every trouble-
some reflection that the prospect of want seldom affected me
much, let it be never so near. And now indeed it was nearer
than I imagined: my landlord, having occasion for money, put
me in mind of my being indebted to him five guineas for lodg-
ing, and telling me he had a sum to make up, begged I would


## p. 13588 (#402) ##########################################

13588
TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
excuse his importunity and discharge the debt. Though I could
ill spare so much cash, my pride took the resolution of disburs
ing it.
This I did in a cavalier manner; after he had written a
discharge, telling him with an air of scorn and resentment I saw
he was resolved that I should not be long in his books: while
Strap, who stood by and knew my circumstances, wrung his
hands in secret, gnawed his nether-lip, and turned yellow with
despair. Whatever appearance of indifference my vanity enabled
me to put on, I was thunderstruck with this demand, which I
had no sooner satisfied than I hastened into company, with a
view of beguiling my cares with conversation, or of drowning
them with wine.
After dinner a party was accordingly made in the coffee-
house, from whence we adjourned to the tavern; where, instead
of sharing the mirth of the company, I was as much chagrined
at their good-humor as a damned soul in hell would be at a
glimpse of heaven. In vain did I swallow bumper after bumper;
the wine had lost its effect upon me, and far from raising my
dejected spirits, could not even lay me asleep. Banter, who was
the only intimate I had (Strap excepted), perceived my anxi-
ety, and when we broke up reproached me with pusillanimity,
for being cast down at any disappointment that such a rascal as
Strutwell could be the occasion of. I told him I did not at all
see how Strutwell's being a rascal alleviated my misfortune; and
gave him to understand that my present grief did not so much
proceed from that disappointment as from the low ebb of my
fortune, which was sunk to something less than two guineas. At
this declaration he cried, "Pshaw! is that all? " and assured me
there were a thousand ways of living in town without a fortune,
he himself having subsisted many years entirely by his wit. I
expressed an eager desire of becoming acquainted with some of
these methods; and he, without further expostulation, bade me
follow him.
He conducted me to a house under the piazzas in Covent
Garden, which we entered, and having delivered our swords to
a grim fellow who demanded them at the foot of the staircase,
ascended to the second story, where I saw multitudes of people
standing round two gaming-tables, loaded in a manner with gold
and silver. My conductor told me this was the house of a
worthy Scotch lord, who, using the privilege of his peerage, had
set up public gaming-tables, from the profits of which he drew a


## p. 13589 (#403) ##########################################

TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
13589
comfortable livelihood. He then explained the difference between
the sitters and the betters; characterized the first as "old hooks, >>
and the last as "bubbles": and advised me to try my fortune at
the silver table, by betting a crown at a time. Before I would
venture anything, I considered the company more particularly;
and there appeared such a group of villainous faces that I was
struck with horror and astonishment at the sight. I signified my
surprise to Banter, who whispered in my ear that the bulk of
those present were sharpers, highwaymen, and apprentices who
having embezzled their masters' cash, made a desperate push
in this place to make up their deficiencies. This account did
not encourage me to hazard any part of my small pittance; but
at length, being teased by the importunities of my friend, who
assured me there was no danger of being ill used, because peo-
ple were hired by the owner to see justice done to everybody, I
began by risking one shilling, and in less than an hour my win-
ning amounted to thirty. Convinced by this time of the fair-
ness of the game, and animated with success, there was no need
of further persuasion to continue the play. I lent Banter (who
seldom had any money in his pocket) a guinea, which he carried
to the gold table, and lost in a moment. He would have bor.
rowed another; but finding me deaf to his arguments, went away
in a pet. Meanwhile my gain advanced to six pieces, and my
desire for more increased in proportion; so that I moved to the
higher table, where I laid half a guinea on every throw: and
fortune still favoring me, I became a sitter, in which capacity
I remained until it was broad day; when I found myself, after
many vicissitudes, one hundred and fifty guineas in pocket.
Thinking it now high time to retire with my booty, I asked
if anybody would take my place, and made a motion to rise;
upon which an old Gascon who sat opposite to me, and of whom I
had won a little money, started up with fury in his looks, crying,
"Restez, restez: il faut donner moi mon ravanchio! " At the
same time, a Jew who sat near the other insinuated that I was
more beholden to art than to fortune for what I had got; that
he had observed me wipe the table very often, and that some of
the divisions seemed to be greasy. This intimation produced a
great deal of clamor against me, especially among the losers;
who threatened, with many oaths and imprecations, to take me
up by a warrant as a sharper, unless I would compromise the
affair by refunding the greatest part of my winning. Though I


## p. 13590 (#404) ##########################################

13590
TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
was far from being easy under this accusation, I relied upon my
innocence, threatened in my turn to prosecute the Jew for defa-
mation, and boldly offered to submit my cause to the examina-
tion of any justice in Westminster: but they knew themselves too
well to put their characters on that issue; and finding I was not
to be intimidated into any concession, dropped their plea and
made way for me to withdraw. I would not, however, stir from
the table until the Israelite had retracted what he had said to
my disadvantage, and asked pardon before the whole assembly.
«<
As I marched out with my prize I happened to tread upon
the toes of a tall raw-boned fellow, with a hooked nose, fierce
eyes, black thick eyebrows, a pigtail wig of the same color, and
a formidable hat pulled over his forehead, who stood gnawing
his fingers in the crowd, and no sooner felt the application of
my shoe-heel than he roared out in a tremendous voice, Blood
and wounds! what's that for? " I asked pardon with a great
deal of submission, and protested I had no intention of hurting
him: but the more I humbled myself the more he stormed, and
insisted upon gentlemanly satisfaction, at the same time provok-
ing me with scandalous names that I could not put up with; so
that I gave a loose to my passion, returned his billingsgate, and
challenged him to follow me down to the piazzas. His indigna-
tion cooling as mine warmed, he refused my invitation, saying
he would choose his own time, and returned towards the table,
muttering threats which I neither dreaded nor distinctly heard;
but descending with great deliberation, received my sword from
the doorkeeper, whom I gratified with a guinea according to the
custom of the place, and went home in a rapture of joy.
OLD-FASHIONED LOVE-MAKING: AN OLD-FASHIONED
WEDDING
From Peregrine Pickle'
PR
EREGRINE, whose health required the enjoyment of fresh air
after his long confinement, sent a message to Emilia that
same night announcing his arrival, and giving her notice
that he would breakfast with her next morning; when he and
our hero, who had dressed himself for the purpose, taking a
hackney-coach, repaired to her lodging, and were introduced into
a parlor adjoining that in which the tea-table was set. Here


## p. 13591 (#405) ##########################################

TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
·
13591
they had not waited many minutes when they heard the sound
of feet coming down-stairs; upon which our hero's heart began
to beat the alarm. He concealed himself behind the screen,
by the direction of his friend, whose ears being saluted with
Sophy's voice from the next room, he flew into it with great
ardor, and enjoyed upon her lips the sweet transports of a meet-
ing so unexpected; for he had left her in her father's house at
Windsor.
«<<
Amidst these emotions, he had almost forgotten the situation
of Peregrine; when Emilia, assuming her enchanting air,—“Is
not this," said she, "a most provoking scene to a young woman
like me, who am doomed to wear the willow, by the strange
caprice of my lover? Upon my word, brother, you have done.
me infinite prejudice in promoting this jaunt with my obstinate
correspondent, who, I suppose, is so ravished with this transient
glimpse of liberty that he will never be persuaded to incur un-
necessary confinement for the future. " My dear sister," replied
the captain tauntingly, "your own pride set him the example;
so you must e'en stand to the consequence of his imitation. "
་
"'Tis a hard case, however," answered the fair offender, "that
I should suffer all my life by one venial trespass. Heigh ho!
who would imagine that a sprightly girl such as I, with ten
thousand pounds, should go a-begging? I have a good mind to
marry the next person that asks me the question, in order to be
revenged upon this unyielding humorist. Did the dear fellow
discover no inclination to see me, in all the term of his release-
ment? Well, if ever I catch the fugitive again, he shall sing in
his cage for life. ”
It is impossible to convey to the reader a just idea of Per-
egrine's transports while he overheard this declaration,- which
was no sooner pronounced, than, unable to resist the impetuos-
ity of his passion, he sprung from his lurking-place, exclaiming,
"Here I surrender! " and rushing into her presence, was so daz-
zled with her beauty that his speech failed: he was fixed like a
statue to the floor; and all his faculties were absorbed in admi-
ration. Indeed she was now in the full bloom of her charms,
and it was nearly impossible to look upon her without emotion.
The ladies screamed with surprise at his appearance, and Emilia
underwent such agitation as flushed every charm with irresistible
energy.
While he was almost fainting with unutterable delight, she
seemed to sink under the tumults of tenderness and confusion;


## p. 13592 (#406) ##########################################

13592
TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
when our hero, perceiving her condition, obeyed the impulse of
his love and circled the charmer in his arms, without suffering
the least frown or symptom of displeasure. Not all the pleas-
ures of his life had amounted to the ineffable joy of this em-
brace, in which he continued for some minutes totally entranced.
He fastened upon her pouting lips with all the eagerness of
rapture; and while his brain seemed to whirl round with trans-
port, exclaimed in a delirium of bliss, "Heaven and earth! this
is too much to bear. "
His imagination was accordingly relieved, and his attention in
some measure divided, by the interposition of Sophy, who kindly
chid him for his having overlooked his old friends: thus accosted,
he quitted his delicious armful, and saluting Mrs. Gauntlet, asked
pardon for his neglect; observing that such rudeness was excusa-
ble, considering the long and unhappy exile which he had suf-
fered from the jewel of his soul. Then turning to Emilia,— “ I
am come, madam," said he, "to claim the performance of your
promise, which I can produce under your own fair hand: you
may therefore lay aside all superfluous ceremony and shyness,
and crown my happiness without farther delay; for upon my
soul! my thoughts are wound up to the last pitch of expectation,
and I shall certainly run distracted if I am doomed to any term
of probation. "
His mistress, having by this time recollected herself, replied
with a most exhilarating smile, "I ought to punish you for your
obstinacy with the mortification of a twelvemonth's trial; but it
is dangerous to tamper with an admirer of your disposition,
and therefore I think I must make sure of you while it is in my
power. "
"You are willing then to take me for better for worse, in
presence of Heaven and these witnesses? " cried Peregrine kneel-
ing, and applying her hand to his lips.
At this interrogation, her features softened into an amazing
expression of condescending love; and while she darted a side
glance that thrilled to his marrow, and heaved a sigh more soft
than Zephyr's balmy wing, her answer was, "Why-ay- and
Heaven grant me patience to bear the humors of such a yoke-
fellow. "
"And may the same powers," replied the youth, "grant me
life and opportunity to manifest the immensity of my love.
Meanwhile I have eighty thousand pounds, which shall be laid
in your lap. "


## p. 13593 (#407) ##########################################

TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
13593
So saying, he sealed the contract upon her lips, and explained
the mystery of his last words, which had begun to operate upon
the wonder of the two sisters. Sophy was agreeably surprised.
with the account of his good fortune: nor was it, in all prob-
ability, unacceptable to the lovely Emilia; though from this
information she took an opportunity to upbraid her admirer with
the inflexibility of his pride, which, she scrupled not to say, would
have baffled all the suggestions of passion had it not been grati-
fied by this providential event.
Matters being thus happily matured, the lover begged that
immediate recourse might be had to the church, and his happi-
ness ascertained. He fell at her feet in all the agony of impa-
tience; swore that his life and intellects would actually be in
jeopardy by her refusal: and when she attempted to argue him
out of his demand, began to rave with such extravagance that
Sophy was frightened into conviction; and Godfrey enforcing
the remonstrances of his friend, the amiable Emilia was teased
into compliance.
•
.
He accordingly led her into the dining-room, where the cere-
mony was performed without delay; and after the husband had
asserted his prerogative on her lips, the whole company saluted
her by the name of Mrs. Pickle.
An express was immediately dispatched to Mrs. Gauntlet with
an account of her daughter's marriage; a town-house was hired,
and a handsome equipage set up, in which the new-married
pair appeared at all public places, to the astonishment of our
adventurer's fair-weather friends and the admiration of all the
world: for in point of figure such another couple was not to
be found in the whole United Kingdom. Envy despaired, and
detraction was struck dumb, when our hero's new accession of
fortune was consigned to the celebration of public fame; Emilia
attracted the notice of all observers, from the pert Templar to
the Sovereign himself, who was pleased to bestow encomiums.
upon the excellence of her beauty. Many persons of conse-
quence, who had dropped the acquaintance of Peregrine in the
beginning of his decline, now made open efforts to cultivate his
friendship anew: but he discouraged all these advances with the
most mortifying disdain; and one day when the nobleman whom
he had formerly obliged came up to him in the drawing-room,
with the salutation of "Your servant, Mr. Pickle," he eyed
him with a look of ineffable contempt, saying, "I suppose your


## p. 13594 (#408) ##########################################

TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
13594
Lordship is mistaken in your man," and turned his head an-
other way in presence of the whole court.
When he had made a circuit round all the places frequented
by the beau monde, to the utter confusion of those against whom
his resentment was kindled, paid off his debts, and settled his
money matters in town, Hatchway was dismissed to the country,
in order to prepare for the reception of his fair Emilia.
In a
few days after his departure, the whole company (Cadwallader
himself included) set out for his father's house; and in their way
took up Mrs. Gauntlet, the mother, who was sincerely rejoiced to
see our hero in the capacity of her son-in-law.
HUMPHREY CLINKER IS PRESENTED TO THE READER
From a letter to Sir Watkin Phillips, Bart. , in The Expedition of
Humphrey Clinker ›
DE
EAR SIR,- Without waiting for your answer to my last, I
proceed to give you an account of our journey to London,
which has not been wholly barren of adventure. Tuesday
last, the squire took his place in a hired coach-and-four, accom-
panied by his sister and mine, and Mrs. Tabby's maid, Winifred
Jenkins, whose province it was to support Chowder on a cushion
in her lap. I could scarce refrain from laughing when I looked
into the vehicle, and saw that animal sitting opposite to my
uncle, like any other passenger. The squire, ashamed of his
situation, blushed to the eyes; and calling to the postilions to
drive on, pulled the glass up in my face. I, and his servant
John Thomas, attended them on horseback.
Nothing worth mentioning occurred, till we arrived on the
edge of Marlborough downs. There one of the fore-horses fell,
in going down-hill at a round trot; and the postilion behind,
endeavoring to stop the carriage, pulled it on one side into a
deep rut, where it was fairly overturned. I had rode on about
two hundred yards before; but hearing a loud scream, galloped
back and dismounted, to give what assistance was in my power.
When I looked into the coach, I could see nothing distinctly but
the Jenkins, who was kicking her heels and squalling with great
vociferation. All of a sudden, my uncle thrust up his bare pate,
and bolted through the window as nimble as a grasshopper: the
man (who had likewise quitted his horse) dragged this forlorn


## p. 13595 (#409) ##########################################

TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
13595
damsel, more dead than alive, through the same opening. Then
Mr. Bramble, pulling the door off its hinges with a jerk, laid
hold on Liddy's arm, and brought her to the light, very much
frightened but little hurt. It fell to my share to deliver our
Aunt Tabitha, who had lost her cap in the struggle; and being
rather more than half frantic with rage and terror, was no bad
representation of one of the sister Furies that guard the gates of
hell. She expressed no sort of concern for her brother, who ran
about in the cold without his periwig, and worked with the most
astonishing agility in helping to disentangle the horses from
the carriage; but she cried in a tone of distraction,- "Chowder!
Chowder! my dear Chowder! my poor Chowder is certainly
killed! "
This was not the case. Chowder, after having tore my uncle's
leg in the confusion of the fall, had retreated under the seat,
and from thence the footman drew him by the neck; for which
good office he bit his fingers to the bone. The fellow, who is
naturally surly, was so provoked at this assault that he saluted
his ribs with a hearty kick,—a benediction which was by no
means lost upon the implacable virago, his mistress. Her brother,
however, prevailed upon her to retire into a peasant's house,
near the scene of action, where his head and hers were covered;
and poor Jenkins had a fit. Our next care was to apply some
sticking-plaster to the wound in his leg, which exhibited the im-
pression of Chowder's teeth; but he never opened his lips against
the delinquent. Mrs. Tabby, alarmed at this scene,-"You say
nothing, Matt,” cried she; "but I know your mind-I know
the spite you have to that poor unfortunate animal! I know you
intend to take his life away! " "You are mistaken, upon my
honor! " replied the squire with a sarcastic smile: "I should be
incapable of harboring any such cruel design against an object
so amiable and inoffensive, even if he had not the happiness to
be your favorite. "
John Thomas was not so delicate. The fellow, whether really
alarmed for his life, or instigated by the desire for revenge, came
in and bluntly demanded that the dog should be put to death,
on the supposition that if ever he should run mad hereafter, he
who had been bit by him would be infected. My uncle calmly
argued upon the absurdity of his opinion; observing that he him-
self was in the same predicament, and would certainly take the
precaution he proposed if he was not sure that he ran no risk


## p. 13596 (#410) ##########################################

13596
TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
of infection. Nevertheless Thomas continued obstinate; and at
length declared that if the dog was not shot immediately, he
himself would be his executioner. This declaration opened the
flood-gates of Tabby's eloquence, which would have shamed the
first-rate oratress of Billingsgate. The footman retorted in the
same style; and the squire dismissed him from his service, after
having prevented me from giving him a good horsewhipping for
his insolence.
The coach being adjusted, another difficulty occurred. Mrs.
Tabitha absolutely refused to enter it again unless another driver
could be found to take the place of the postilion, who, she af-
firmed, had overturned the coach from malice aforethought. After
much dispute, the man resigned his place to a shabby country-
fellow, who undertook to go as far as Marlborough, where they
could be better provided; and at that place we arrived about
one o'clock, without further impediment. Mrs. Bramble, however,
found new matter of offense, which indeed she had a particular
genius for extracting at will from almost every incident in life.
We had scarce entered the room at Marlborough, where we stayed
to dine, when she exhibited a formal complaint against the poor
fellow who had superseded the postilion.
She said he was such
a beggarly rascal that he had ne'er a shirt to his back; Mrs.
Winifred Jenkins confirmed the assertion.
"This is a heinous offense indeed," cried my uncle; "let us
hear what the fellow has to say in his own vindication. " He
was accordingly summoned, and made his appearance, which was
equally queer and pathetic. He seemed to be about twenty
years of age, of a middling size, with bandy legs, stooping
shoulders, high forehead, sandy locks, pinking eyes, flat nose,
and long chin; his complexion was of a sickly yellow: his looks
denoted famine; and
Mrs. Bramble, turning from him,
said she had never seen such a filthy tatterdemalion, and bid
him begone; observing that he would fill the room with ver-
min.
Her brother darted a significant glance at her as she retired
with Liddy into another apartment; and then asked the man if
he was known to any person in Marlborough? When he an-
swered that the landlord of the inn had known him from his in-
fancy, mine host was immediately called, and being interrogated
on the subject, said that the young fellow's name was Humphrey
Clinker; that he had been a love-begotten babe, brought up in


## p. 13597 (#411) ##########################################

TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
13597
the workhouse, and put out apprentice by the parish to a coun-
try blacksmith, who died before the boy's time was out; that he
had for some time worked under his hostler as a helper and
extra postilion, till he was taken ill of the ague, which disabled
him from getting his bread; that having sold or pawned every-
thing he had in the world for his cure and subsistence, he be-
came so miserable and shabby that he disgraced the stable, and
was dismissed; but that he never heard anything to the prejudice
of his character in other respects. "So that the fellow being
sick and destitute," said my uncle, "you turned him out to die
in the streets? >>>> "I pay the poor's rate," replied the other,
" and I have no right to maintain idle vagrants, either in sick-
ness or health; besides, such a miserable object would have
brought a discredit upon my house. "
"You perceive," said the squire, turning to me, "our land-
lord is a Christian of bowels: who shall presume to censure the
morals of the age when the very publicans exhibit such exam-
ples of humanity? Hark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious
offender, you stand convicted of sickness, hunger, wretchedness,
and want; but as it does not belong to me to punish criminals,
I will only take upon me the task of giving a word of advice,-
get a shirt with all convenient dispatch. "
So saying, he put a guinea into the hand of the poor fellow,
who stood staring at him in silence with his mouth wide open,
till the landlord pushed him out of the room.
In the afternoon, as our aunt stept into the coach, she ob-
served with some marks of satisfaction that the postilion who
rode next to her was not a shabby wretch like the ragamuffin
who had drove them into Marlborough. Indeed, the difference
was very conspicuous: this was a smart fellow, with a narrow-
brimmed hat with gold cording, a cut bob, a decent blue jacket,
leather breeches, and a clean linen shirt puffed above the waist-
band. When we arrived at the castle on Spinhill, where we lay,
this new postilion was remarkably assiduous in bringing in loose
parcels; and at length displayed the individual countenance of
Humphrey Clinker, who had metamorphosed himself in this
manner, by relieving from pawn part of his own clothes with
the money he had received from Mr. Bramble.
----
Howsoever pleased the rest of the company were with such
a favorable change in the appearance of this poor creature, it
soured on the stomach of Mrs. Tabby, who had not yet digested


## p. 13598 (#412) ##########################################

13598
TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
the affront. She tossed her nose in disdain, saying she supposed
her brother had taken him into favor because he had insulted
her with his obscenity; that a fool and his money were soon
parted: but that if Matt intended to take the fellow with him to
London, she would not go a foot farther that way.
My uncle
said nothing with his tongue, though his looks were sufficiently
expressive; and next morning Clinker did not appear, so that we
proceeded without farther altercation to Salthill, where we pro-
posed to dine. There the first person that came to the side of
the coach and began to adjust the footboard was no other than
Humphrey Clinker. When I handed out Mrs. Bramble, she eyed
him with a furious look, and passed into the house; my uncle
was embarrassed, and asked peevishly what had brought him
hither? The fellow said his Honor had been so good to him,
that he had not the heart to part with him; that he would follow
him to the world's end, and serve him all the days of his life,
without fee or reward.
Mr. Bramble did not know whether to chide or to laugh at
this declaration. He foresaw much contradiction on the side of
Tabby; and on the other hand, he could not but be pleased
with the gratitude of Clinker, as well as with the simplicity of his
character. "Suppose I was inclined to take you into my service,"
said he, "what are your qualifications? What are you good for? "
"An' please your Honor," answered this original, "I can read and
write, and do the business of the stable indifferent well. I can
dress a horse, and shoe him, and bleed and rowel him;
I won't turn my back on e'er a he in the county of Wilts.
Then I can make hog's puddings and hobnails, mend kettles and
tin saucepans-" Here uncle burst out a-laughing; and inquired
what other accomplishments he was master of. "I know some-
thing of single-stick and psalmody," proceeded Clinker: "I can
play upon the jew's-harp, sing Black-eyed Susan,' 'Arthur
O'Bradley,' and divers other songs; I can dance a Welsh jig,
and 'Nancy Dawson'; wrestle a fall with any lad of my inches.
when I'm in heart; and (under correction) I can find a hare.
when your Honor wants a bit of game. " Foregad, thou art a
complete fellow! " cried my uncle, still laughing: "I have a mind
to take thee into my family. Prithee, go and try if thou canst
make peace with my sister; thou hast given her much offense. "
Clinker accordingly followed us into the room, cap in hand,
where, addressing himself to Mrs. Tabitha,-"May it please
་


## p. 13599 (#413) ##########################################

TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
13599
your Ladyship's Worship," cried he, "to pardon and forgive my
offenses, and with God's assistance, I shall take care never to
offend your Ladyship again. Do, pray, good, sweet, beautiful
lady, take compassion on a poor sinner; God bless your noble.
countenance, I am sure you are too handsome and generous to
bear malice. I will serve you on my bended knees, by night
and by day, by land and by water; and all for the love and
pleasure of serving such an excellent lady. "
This compliment and humiliation had some effect upon Tab-
itha; but she made no reply; and Clinker, taking silence for
consent, gave his attendance at dinner. The fellow's natural
awkwardness, and the flutter of his spirits, were productive of
repeated blunders in the course of his attendance. At length he
spilt part of a custard upon her right shoulder; and starting back,
trod upon Chowder, who set up a dismal howl. Poor Humphrey
was so disconcerted at this double mistake, that he dropt the
china dish, which broke into a thousand pieces; then falling
down upon his knees, remained in that posture, gaping with a
most ludicrous aspect of distress. Mrs. Bramble flew to the dog,
and snatching him in her arms, presented him to her brother,
saying, "This is all a concerted scheme against this unfortunate
animal, whose only crime is its regard for me;-here it is: kill
it at once; and then you'll be satisfied. "
Clinker, hearing these words and taking them in the literal
acceptation, got up in some hurry, and seizing a knife from the
sideboard, cried, "Not here, an't please your Ladyship,-it will
daub the room: give him to me, and I'll carry him into the
ditch by the roadside. " To this proposal he received no other
answer than a hearty box on the ear, that made him stagger to
the other side of the room. "What! " said she to her brother,
"am I to be affronted by every mangy hound that you pick up
in the highway? I insist upon your sending this rascallion about
his business immediately. " "For God's sake, sister, compose
yourself," said my uncle; "and consider that the poor fellow is
innocent of any intention to give you offense. " "Innocent as the
babe unborn," cried Humphrey. "I see it plainly," exclaimed
this implacable maiden: "he acts by your direction, and you are
resolved to support him in his impudence. This is a bad return.
for all the services I have done you,- for nursing you in your
sickness, managing your family, and keeping you from ruining
yourself by your own imprudence: but now you shall part with


## p. 13600 (#414) ##########################################

13600
TOBIAS GEORGE SMOLLETT
that rascal or me, upon the spot, without farther loss of time;
and the world shall see whether you have more regard for your
own flesh and blood, or for a beggarly foundling taken from a
dunghill. "
Mr. Bramble's eyes began to glisten, and his teeth to chatter.
"If stated fairly," said he, raising his voice, "the question is
whether I have spirit to shake off an intolerable yoke by one
effort of resolution, or meanness enough to do an act of cruelty
and injustice to gratify the rancor of a capricious woman. Hark
ye, Mrs. Tabitha Bramble! I will now propose an alternative
in my turn: either discard your four-footed favorite, or give
me leave to bid you eternally adieu; for I am determined that
he and I shall live no longer under the same roof; and now to
dinner with what appetite you may. " Thunderstruck at this dec-
laration, she sat down in a corner; and after a pause of some
minutes, "Sure I don't understand you, Matt! " said she. "And
yet I spoke in plain English," answered the squire with a per-
emptory look. "Sir," resumed this virago, effectually humbled,
"it is your prerogative to command, and my duty to obey. I
can't dispose of the dog in this place; but if you'll allow him to
go in the coach to London, I give you my word he shall never
trouble you again. "
Her brother, entirely disarmed by this mild reply, declared
she could ask him nothing in reason that he would refuse;
adding, "I hope, sister, you have never found me deficient in
natural affection! " Mrs. Tabitha immediately rose, and throwing
her arms about his neck, kissed him on the cheek; he returned
her embrace with great emotion. Liddy sobbed; Win Jenkins
cackled; Chowder capered; and Clinker skipt about, rubbing his
hands for joy of this reconciliation.
Concord being thus restored, we finished our meal with com-
fort; and in the evening arrived in London, without having met
with any other adventure. My aunt seems to be much mended
by the hint she received from her brother. She has been gra-
ciously pleased to remove her displeasure from Clinker, who is
now retained as a footman, and (in a day or two) will make his
appearance in a new suit of livery; but as he is little acquainted
with London, we have taken an occasional valet, whom I intend
hereafter to hire as my own servant.
J. MELFORD.


## p. 13601 (#415) ##########################################

13601
DENTON J. SNIDER
(1841-)
PPRECIATION of the Greek spirit by the modern generation
may find expression in scrupulous scholarship, comprehend-
ing the literature of Greece in its philological aspect; or it
may manifest itself as the very poetry of criticism as a temper of
mind which can reconstruct the old Greek world out of a line from
Homer, or from a fragment of a temple. Mr. Denton J. Snider pos-
sesses to a high degree this imaginative appreciation of the golden
world of Greece. His scholarship is subordinated to his fine sym-
pathy with the never-dying soul of a great
age.
—

DENTON J. SNIDER
In his 'Walk in Hellas,' he describes a
pedestrian tour through Greece, which he
made alone. The journey was as much of
the mind as of the body. It was not under-
taken merely to see portions of the penin-
sula rarely visited by strangers. Its chief
object was to recover the ancient classic
time, partly by power of the imagination,
partly by the aid of haunted spring and
grove and ruin. It was to see Aristotle
walking with his disciples on the slopes
of Lycabettus; to see the Platæans filing
through the brushwood of Mount Kotroni,
to aid the Athenians on the plain of Marathon; to see the statues
of Phidias emerge from the ancient quarries of Pentelic marble,-
white, godlike forms of eternal youth; to see the sapphire skies
beyond spotless temples to Diana; to remember Theocritus in the
scent of the thyme; above all, to seek for Helen, the incarnation of
the divine Greek beauty. "He is in pursuit of Helen; her above
all human and divine personalities he desires to behold, even speak
with face to face, and possibly to possess. But who is Helen? You
are aware that on her account the Trojan War was fought; that all
Greece, when she was stolen, mustered a vast armament, and hero-
ically struggled ten years for her recovery; and did recover her and
bring her back to her native land. Nor is the legend wanting that
there in her Grecian home she is still just the blooming bride who
XXIII-851


## p. 13602 (#416) ##########################################

13602
DENTON J. SNIDER
-
was once led away by the youthful Menelaos to the shining palace of
Sparta. So the wanderer is going to have his Iliad too- - an Iliad not
fought and sung, but walked and perchance dreamed, for the posses-
sion of Helen, the most beautiful woman of Greece; nay, the most
beautiful woman of the world. There she stands in the soft moon-
light of fable, statue-like, just before the entrance to the temple of
history. Thither the cloudy image, rapidly growing more distinct
and more persistent, beckons and points. "
It is this dream of Helen the beautiful that Mr. Snider has in
mind continually, on his pilgrimage through the enchanted country.
of which she is the personification. She is always in the purple dis-
tance, beckoning to him from the porch of a temple, from the green
slope of some sacred mountain, from the azure of the sky, from the
depths of some wild sea splendor. He follows this vision from Ath-
ens to Pentelicus, from Marathon to Marcopoulo, from Aulis to Thebes,
from Charoneia to Parnassus. His idealism reconstructs the world
of Helen and her descendants; but his keen powers of observation
take account also of the modern Greece through which he is passing.
The charm of 'A Walk in Hellas' lies in this poetical union of the
Greece of Helen with the Greece of King George. Mr. Snider's jour-
ney through Greece was undertaken in 1877, when he was young
enough to enjoy even its hardships. He was born January 9th, 1841,
at Mount Gilead, Ohio. In 1862 he graduated at Oberlin College, and
in 1867 became instructor in the St. Louis High School. Since 1887
he has been co-worker in the literary schools of Chicago, and in the
kindergarten; also a peripatetic lecturer. He has published comment-
aries on what he terms "the literary Bibles," — Shakespeare's dramas,
Goethe's 'Faust,' Homer's Iliad and Odyssey, and Dante's 'Divine
Comedy. ' These are concerned chiefly
the ethical and spirit-
ual import of the masterpieces, and less with the usual subject of
criticism, literary form. Mr. Snider recognizes what many critics
overlook, that the greatest artist is the greatest moralist. In his
commentary on Shakespeare he writes: "The all-pervading great-
ness of Shakespeare lies in his comprehension of the ethical order of
the world; his dramas are "the truest literary product of the time,
because the most perfect and concrete presentation of realized ration-
ality. " It is this recognition of a supreme truth which fits Mr. Sni-
der to be an interpreter of Macbeth and Lear, of the Faust Legend
and Dante's Vision. In his commentary on Goethe's 'Faust,' there
is much subtle criticism. "Margaret has not intellect, at least not
intellect unfolded into conscious reason: she has the rational prin-
ciple within her, but in the form of feeling. She is not, therefore, the
self-centred woman, the one who is able to meet Faust, the intel-
lectual destroyer of her world. Such is the word of the great poet
>>>


## p. 13603 (#417) ##########################################

DENTON J. SNIDER
13603
of the century on woman. The great philosopher of the century has
said about the same thing: -
"Man is the active, objective principle, woman is the passive, subjective;
man is thought, woman is feeling; man clings to the Universal, woman to the
Individual, she can possess fancy, wit, culture, but not philosophy. If this
be the finality of her, then she is and must remain a tragic character; or if
she be saved, her salvation depends on her not meeting a Faust. Such prob-
ably has been her lot in the past: but the new woman assuredly must take
possession of her intellectual birthright, and therein be all the more a woman;
I say she will be able to meet a Faust on his own ground, and not only
Faust, but Mephisto himself. We can see such a woman in training in our
Western world; but Goethe never beheld her, Hegel never beheld her, never
could behold her in that European life. »»
――
Mr. Snider has published several volumes of poems on classical
subjects, which exhibit the same appreciation of the Greek spirit
which illuminates A Walk in Hellas. ' Among his miscellaneous
writings are World's-Fair Studies,' a novel of Western life; 'The
Freebargers'; and a work on psychology entitled 'Psychology and
the Psychoses. '
<
THE BATTLE OF MARATHON
From A Walk in Hellas. ' Copyright 1881 and 1882, by Denton J. Snider
UT as I turn around a little thicket and emerge on the other
B side, behold! The whole valley, green with alternate patches
of shrubs and grain-fields, gracefully narrow and curving,
stretches out before me. Through it a silvery ribbon of water is
winding brightly along: it is the river Marathon. Toward the
further end of the vale is a pleasant village lying quietly between
the hills in sunny repose: it is the village Marathon. In the dis-
tance through the opening between two mountains, following with
the eye the course of the stream, I can behold a plain spreading
out like a fan, and stretching along the blue sparkling rim of the
sea: it is the plain of Marathon. The whole landscape sweeps
into the vision at once from the high station; something strug-
gles within the beholder, wings can be felt growing out of the
sides: let us fly down into the vale without delay from this
height.
•
Just as I was prepared to start once more, a new appearance
I notice coming down the road: it is the traveling merchant, with
his entire store of goods laden on the back of a little donkey.


## p. 13604 (#418) ##########################################

13604
DENTON J. SNIDER
His salute is friendly, his manner is quick and winning; we go
along together toward the village, talking of many things. He
tells me that he is from Oropus, a town on the Attic border
famous in antiquity; that his name is Aristides, that he is going
to Marathon, and will show me a place to stay during the night.
There is something new and peculiar about this man, the like of
which I have not yet seen in these rural portions of Greece. He
walks with a quick, alert step, he has a shrewdness and bright-
ness of intellect, a readiness and information which are remark-
able in comparison to the ordinary intellectual gifts found in the
country; his features and his physical bearing, his keen dark eye
and nervous twitch, distinguish him in the most striking manner
from the stolid Albanian peasant. He is a Greek of pure blood,
he tells me: manifestly we have met with a new and distinctive
type.
I enter the village of Marathon with Aristides, who brings me
to the chief wine-shop, where lodgings are to be had as well as
refreshing beverage. First a thimbleful of mastic, a somewhat
strong alcoholic drink, with my merchant, who then leaves me
and goes to his business. A number of people are in the wine-
shop; they are the Albanian residents of the village: all look
curiously at the new arrival. The merchant soon passed around
the word that I was from America—a fact which I had imparted
to him on the way. But of America they had very little notion.
The strangest sort of curiosity peeped out of their rather small
eyes: the news spread rapidly through the town that a live
American had arrived; what that was, they all hastened to see.
So they continued to pour in by twos and threes till the spacious
wine-shop was nearly full. Not a word they said, but walked
along in front of the table where I sat, and stared at me; they
kept their kerchiefed heads drawn down in their shaggy capotes,
being dressed in tight breeches like close-fitting drawers, with
feet thrust into low shoes, which run out to a point at the toes
and curl over. Thus they move before me in continuous proces-
sion; when they had taken a close survey of me, they would sit
down on a bench, roll a cigarette in paper, strike fire from a
flint, and begin to smoke. A taciturn, curious, but not unfriendly
crowd. I called for recinato.
――――
Presently a man clad in European garments appeared among
them, and in courteous manner addressed me, talking good Greek
but very bad French: it was the village schoolmaster, whom the


## p. 13605 (#419) ##########################################

DENTON J. SNIDER
13605
people familiarly called Didaskali. I hailed him joyfully as
a fellow-craftsman in a foreign land, and lost no time in announ-
cing to him that I too was a schoolmaster in my country. Pro-
fessional sympathy at once opened all the sluices of his heart:
we were friends on the spot. He was not an Albanian, but a
Greek born in the Turkish provinces; I do not think he was as
bright as my merchant Aristides, though he was probably better
educated. I took a stroll with him around the town; he sought
to show me every possible kindness, with the single exception
of his persistency in talking French. One neat little cottage I
noticed: it was the residence of the Dikastes or village judge;
but the most of the houses were low hovels, with glassless win-
dows, often floorless. Women were shy, hiding forehead and
chin in wrappage at the approach of a stranger,—who perhaps
was too eager in trying to peer into their faces, as if in search
of some visage lost long ago in this valley. Still human nature
is here, too, in Marathon; for I caught a young girl giving a
sly peep through the window after we had passed, which she had
pretended to close when she saw the stranger approaching.
But it is growing dark; I have done a pretty good day's work;
I must put off the rest of the sight-seeing till to-morrow. Only
half a mile below is the Marathonian plain, which one can see
from the village, but it must now be turned over to darkness.
At my request the Didaskali goes back with me to the wine-shop,
when he excuses himself, promising soon to return. There I
had a supper which was eminently satisfactory after a day's walk:
five eggs fried in goat's butter, large quantities of black bread,
and abundance of recinato at one cent a glass,-good-sized
glasses at that.
While I sat there eating, the people began to assemble again.
The Papas, the village priest, came and listened,-the untrou-
sered man, with dark habit falling down to his heels like a
woman's dress, and with long raven hair rolled up in a knot on
the back of his head, upon which knot sat his high, stiff ecclesias-
tical cap; the Dikastes or village judge came, an educated man,
who had studied at the University of Athens, and who dressed in
European fashion, possessing, in noticeable contrast to the rest of
the Marathonians, the latest style of Parisian hat; a lame shop-
keeper came, a Greek of the town; bright, full of mockery, flatter-
ing me with high titles-in order to get me to hire his mules
for my journey, as I had good reason to suspect; finally the
-


## p. 13606 (#420) ##########################################

13606
DENTON J. SNIDER
schoolmaster and the traveling merchant appeared again, both in
excellent humor, and expecting a merry evening. There was no
doctor present: I asked for him; they told me that there was
none in the valley, though it is scourged with malarial fever in
summer; one man in particular complained of the health of the
place. All the representative citizens of Marathon were before me,
looking at me eating in the wine-shop on a wooden table. Some
one asked me about my native language. "This is the language
that I understand best," said I, raising a mouthful of egg and
bread to my lips: "you seem to understand it too. " This jest,
for whose merit I do not make any high claims, caused all the
Albanians to laugh, and set the whole wine-shop in a festive
mood. It is manifest that this audience is not very difficult to
please.
Finally my long repast was finished; long both on account
of the work done and on account of the continued interruptions
caused by question and answer. The people still held out; there
they were before me, more curious than ever, now with a laugh-
ing look on account of that one sterile jest,—laughing out of
the corner of the eye, and with head already somewhat drawn out
of the shaggy capote from expectation. What next? I was on
the soil of illustrious Marathon; expectant gazes were centred
upon me: what had I, as a true American, to do for the honor
of my country? My duty was clear from the start: I must make
a speech. I should have been unfaithful to my nationality had
I not done so at Marathon. Accordingly I shoved the table aside,
pulled out my bench, and in the full happiness of hunger and
thirst satisfied perhaps, too, a little aglow with the golden reci-
nato- I began to address them as follows:-
Andres Marathonioi-Ye men of Marathon
---
At this point I confess I had to laugh myself, looking into that
solid Albanian stare of fifty faces; for the echo of the tremen-
dous oath of Demosthenes, in which he swears by the heroes of
Marathon, rung through my ears, and made the situation appall-
ingly ludicrous. Still, in spite of my laugh, you must know that
I was in deep earnest and full of my theme; moreover, there were
at least four persons before me who could understand both my
Greek and my allusions. As to my Greek, I affirm that Demos-
thenes himself would have understood it had he been there. —


## p. 13607 (#421) ##########################################

DENTON J.