No More Learning

Could Bloom of 7 Eccles street foresee Bloom of Flowerville?

In loose allwool garments with Harris tweed cap, price 8/6, and useful
garden boots with elastic gussets and wateringcan, planting aligned
young firtrees, syringing, pruning, staking, sowing hayseed, trundling a
weedladen wheelbarrow without excessive fatigue at sunset amid the scent
of newmown hay, ameliorating the soil, multiplying wisdom, achieving
longevity.


What syllabus of intellectual pursuits was simultaneously possible?

Snapshot photography, comparative study of religions, folklore relative
to various amatory and superstitious practices, contemplation of the
celestial constellations.


What lighter recreations?

Outdoor: garden and fieldwork, cycling on level macadamised causeways
ascents of moderately high hills, natation in secluded fresh water and
unmolested river boating in secure wherry or light curricle with kedge
anchor on reaches free from weirs and rapids (period of estivation),
vespertinal perambulation or equestrian circumprocession with inspection
of sterile landscape and contrastingly agreeable cottagers' fires of
smoking peat turves (period of hibernation). Indoor: discussion in
tepid security of unsolved historical and criminal problems: lecture of
unexpurgated exotic erotic masterpieces: house carpentry with toolbox
containing hammer, awl nails, screws, tintacks, gimlet, tweezers,
bullnose plane and turnscrew. Might he become a gentleman farmer of
field produce and live stock?

Not impossibly, with 1 or 2 stripper cows, 1 pike of upland hay and
requisite farming implements, e. g. , an end-to-end churn, a turnip pulper
etc.


What would be his civic functions and social status among the county
families and landed gentry?

Arranged successively in ascending powers of hierarchical order, that
of gardener, groundsman, cultivator, breeder, and at the zenith of his
career, resident magistrate or justice of the peace with a family crest
and coat of arms and appropriate classical motto _(Semper paratus_),
duly recorded in the court directory (Bloom, Leopold P. , M. P. , P. C. ,
K. P. , L. L. D. (_honoris causa_), Bloomville, Dundrum) and mentioned in
court and fashionable intelligence (Mr and Mrs Leopold Bloom have left
Kingstown for England).


What course of action did he outline for himself in such capacity?

A course that lay between undue clemency and excessive rigour:
the dispensation in a heterogeneous society of arbitrary classes,
incessantly rearranged in terms of greater and lesser social inequality,
of unbiassed homogeneous indisputable justice, tempered with mitigants
of the widest possible latitude but exactable to the uttermost farthing
with confiscation of estate, real and personal, to the crown. Loyal to
the highest constituted power in the land, actuated by an innate love of
rectitude his aims would be the strict maintenance of public order,
the repression of many abuses though not of all simultaneously (every
measure of reform or retrenchment being a preliminary solution to be
contained by fluxion in the final solution), the upholding of the letter
of the law (common, statute and law merchant) against all traversers in
covin and trespassers acting in contravention of bylaws and regulations,
all resuscitators (by trespass and petty larceny of kindlings) of
venville rights, obsolete by desuetude, all orotund instigators
of international persecution, all perpetuators of international
animosities, all menial molestors of domestic conviviality, all
recalcitrant violators of domestic connubiality.


Prove that he had loved rectitude from his earliest youth.

To Master Percy Apjohn at High School in 1880 he had divulged his
disbelief in the tenets of the Irish (protestant) church (to which his
father Rudolf Virag (later Rudolph Bloom) had been converted from the
Israelitic faith and communion in 1865 by the Society for promoting
Christianity among the jews) subsequently abjured by him in favour of
Roman catholicism at the epoch of and with a view to his matrimony
in 1888. To Daniel Magrane and Francis Wade in 1882 during a juvenile
friendship (terminated by the premature emigration of the former) he
had advocated during nocturnal perambulations the political theory of
colonial (e. g. Canadian) expansion and the evolutionary theories of
Charles Darwin, expounded in _The Descent of Man_ and _The Origin
of Species_. In 1885 he had publicly expressed his adherence to the
collective and national economic programme advocated by James Fintan
Lalor, John Fisher Murray, John Mitchel, J. F. X. O'Brien and others,
the agrarian policy of Michael Davitt, the constitutional agitation of
Charles Stewart Parnell (M. P. for Cork City), the programme of
peace, retrenchment and reform of William Ewart Gladstone (M. P. for
Midlothian, N. B. ) and, in support of his political convictions, had
climbed up into a secure position amid the ramifications of a tree
on Northumberland road to see the entrance (2 February 1888) into the
capital of a demonstrative torchlight procession of 20,000 torchbearers,
divided into 120 trade corporations, bearing 2000 torches in escort of
the marquess of Ripon and (honest) John Morley.


How much and how did he propose to pay for this country residence?

As per prospectus of the Industrious Foreign Acclimatised Nationalised
Friendly Stateaided Building Society (incorporated 1874), a maximum
of 60 pounds per annum, being 1/6 of an assured income, derived from
giltedged securities, representing at 5 % simple interest on capital of
1200 pounds (estimate of price at 20 years' purchase), of which to be
paid on acquisition and the balance in the form of annual rent, viz. 800
pounds plus 2 1/2 % interest on the same, repayable quarterly in equal
annual instalments until extinction by amortisation of loan advanced for
purchase within a period of 20 years, amounting to an annual rental of
64 pounds, headrent included, the titledeeds to remain in possession
of the lender or lenders with a saving clause envisaging forced sale,
foreclosure and mutual compensation in the event of protracted failure
to pay the terms assigned, otherwise the messuage to become the absolute
property of the tenant occupier upon expiry of the period of years
stipulated.


What rapid but insecure means to opulence might facilitate immediate
purchase?

A private wireless telegraph which would transmit by dot and dash system
the result of a national equine handicap (flat or steeplechase) of I or
more miles and furlongs won by an outsider at odds of 50 to 1 at 3 hr
8 m p. m. at Ascot (Greenwich time), the message being received and
available for betting purposes in Dublin at 2. 59 p. m. (Dunsink time).
The unexpected discovery of an object of great monetary value (precious
stone, valuable adhesive or impressed postage stamps (7 schilling,
mauve, imperforate, Hamburg, 1866: 4 pence, rose, blue paper, perforate,
Great Britain, 1855: 1 franc, stone, official, rouletted, diagonal
surcharge, Luxemburg, 1878), antique dynastical ring, unique relic) in
unusual repositories or by unusual means: from the air (dropped by an
eagle in flight), by fire (amid the carbonised remains of an incendiated
edifice), in the sea (amid flotsam, jetsam, lagan and derelict), on
earth (in the gizzard of a comestible fowl). A Spanish prisoner's
donation of a distant treasure of valuables or specie or bullion lodged
with a solvent banking corporation loo years previously at 5% compound
interest of the collective worth of 5,000,000 pounds stg (five million
pounds sterling). A contract with an inconsiderate contractee for the
delivery of 32 consignments of some given commodity in consideration of
cash payment on delivery per delivery at the initial rate of 1/4d to be
increased constantly in the geometrical progression of 2 (1/4d, 1/2d,
1d, 2d, 4d, 8d, 1s 4d, 2s 8d to 32 terms). A prepared scheme
based on a study of the laws of probability to break the bank at Monte
Carlo. A solution of the secular problem of the quadrature of the
circle, government premium 1,000,000 pounds sterling.


Was vast wealth acquirable through industrial channels?

The reclamation of dunams of waste arenary soil, proposed in the
prospectus of Agendath Netaim, Bleibtreustrasse, Berlin, W. 15, by the
cultivation of orange plantations and melonfields and reafforestation.
The utilisation of waste paper, fells of sewer rodents, human excrement
possessing chemical properties, in view of the vast production of the
first, vast number of the second and immense quantity of the third,
every normal human being of average vitality and appetite producing
annually, cancelling byproducts of water, a sum total of 80 lbs. (mixed
animal and vegetable diet), to be multiplied by 4,386,035, the total
population of Ireland according to census returns of 1901.


Were there schemes of wider scope?

A scheme to be formulated and submitted for approval to the harbour
commissioners for the exploitation of white coal (hydraulic power),
obtained by hydroelectric plant at peak of tide at Dublin bar or at
head of water at Poulaphouca or Powerscourt or catchment basins of main
streams for the economic production of 500,000 W. H. P. of electricity.
A scheme to enclose the peninsular delta of the North Bull at Dollymount
and erect on the space of the foreland, used for golf links and rifle
ranges, an asphalted esplanade with casinos, booths, shooting galleries,
hotels, boardinghouses, readingrooms, establishments for mixed bathing.
A scheme for the use of dogvans and goatvans for the delivery of early
morning milk. A scheme for the development of Irish tourist traffic in
and around Dublin by means of petrolpropelled riverboats, plying in the
fluvial fairway between Island bridge and Ringsend, charabancs, narrow
gauge local railways, and pleasure steamers for coastwise navigation
(10/- per person per day, guide (trilingual) included). A scheme for
the repristination of passenger and goods traffics over Irish waterways,
when freed from weedbeds. A scheme to connect by tramline the Cattle
Market (North Circular road and Prussia street) with the quays (Sheriff
street, lower, and East Wall), parallel with the Link line railway
laid (in conjunction with the Great Southern and Western railway line)
between the cattle park, Liffey junction, and terminus of Midland Great
Western Railway 43 to 45 North

Wall, in proximity to the terminal stations or Dublin branches of Great
Central Railway, Midland Railway of England, City of Dublin Steam Packet
Company, Lancashire and Yorkshire Railway Company, Dublin and Glasgow
Steam Packet Company, Glasgow, Dublin and Londonderry Steam Packet
Company (Laird line), British and Irish Steam Packet Company, Dublin
and Morecambe Steamers, London and North Western Railway Company, Dublin
Port and Docks Board Landing Sheds and transit sheds of Palgrave, Murphy
and Company, steamship owners, agents for steamers from Mediterranean,
Spain, Portugal, France, Belgium and Holland and for Liverpool
Underwriters' Association, the cost of acquired rolling stock for
animal transport and of additional mileage operated by the Dublin United
Tramways Company, limited, to be covered by graziers' fees.


Positing what protasis would the contraction for such several schemes
become a natural and necessary apodosis?

Given a guarantee equal to the sum sought, the support, by deed of
gift and transfer vouchers during donor's lifetime or by bequest
after donor's painless extinction, of eminent financiers (Blum Pasha,
Rothschild Guggenheim, Hirsch, Montefiore, Morgan, Rockefeller)
possessing fortunes in 6 figures, amassed during a successful life, and
joining capital with opportunity the thing required was done.


What eventuality would render him independent of such wealth?

The independent discovery of a goldseam of inexhaustible ore.


For what reason did he meditate on schemes so difficult of realisation?

It was one of his axioms that similar meditations or the automatic
relation to himself of a narrative concerning himself or tranquil
recollection of the past when practised habitually before retiring for
the night alleviated fatigue and produced as a result sound repose and
renovated vitality.


His justifications?

As a physicist he had learned that of the 70 years of complete human
life at least 2/7, viz. 20 years are passed in sleep. As a philosopher
he knew that at the termination of any allotted life only an
infinitesimal part of any person's desires has been realised. As a
physiologist he believed in the artificial placation of malignant
agencies chiefly operative during somnolence.


What did he fear?

The committal of homicide or suicide during sleep by an aberration
of the light of reason, the incommensurable categorical intelligence
situated in the cerebral convolutions.


What were habitually his final meditations?

Of some one sole unique advertisement to cause passers to stop in
wonder, a poster novelty, with all extraneous accretions excluded,
reduced to its simplest and most efficient terms not exceeding the span
of casual vision and congruous with the velocity of modern life.


What did the first drawer unlocked contain?

A Vere Foster's handwriting copybook, property of Milly (Millicent)
Bloom, certain pages of which bore diagram drawings, marked _Papli_,
which showed a large globular head with 5 hairs erect, 2 eyes in
profile, the trunk full front with 3 large buttons, 1 triangular foot: 2
fading photographs of queen Alexandra of England and of Maud Branscombe,
actress and professional beauty: a Yuletide card, bearing on it a
pictorial representation of a parasitic plant, the legend _Mizpah_, the
date Xmas 1892, the name of the senders: from Mr + Mrs M. Comerford, the
versicle: _May this Yuletide bring to thee, Joy and peace and welcome
glee_: a butt of red partly liquefied sealing wax, obtained from the
stores department of Messrs Hely's, Ltd. , 89, 90, and 91 Dame street:
a box containing the remainder of a gross of gilt "J" pennibs, obtained
from same department of same firm: an old sandglass which rolled
containing sand which rolled: a sealed prophecy (never unsealed) written
by Leopold Bloom in 1886 concerning the consequences of the passing into
law of William Ewart Gladstone's Home Rule bill of 1886 (never passed
into law): a bazaar ticket, no 2004, of S. Kevin's Charity Fair, price
6d, 100 prizes: an infantile epistle, dated, small em monday, reading:
capital pee Papli comma capital aitch How are you note of interrogation
capital eye I am very well full stop new paragraph signature with
flourishes capital em Milly no stop: a cameo brooch, property of Ellen
Bloom (born Higgins), deceased: a cameo scarfpin, property of Rudolph
Bloom (born Virag), deceased: 3 typewritten letters, addressee, Henry
Flower, c/o. P. O. Westland Row, addresser, Martha Clifford, c/o. P. O.
Dolphin's Barn: the transliterated name and address of the addresser
of the 3 letters in reversed alphabetic boustrophedonic punctated
quadrilinear cryptogram (vowels suppressed) N. IGS. /WI. UU. OX/W. OKS.
MH/Y. IM: a press cutting from an English weekly periodical _Modern
Society_, subject corporal chastisement in girls' schools: a pink ribbon
which had festooned an Easter egg in the year 1899: two partly uncoiled
rubber preservatives with reserve pockets, purchased by post from Box
32, P. O. , Charing Cross, London, W. C. : 1 pack of 1 dozen creamlaid
envelopes and feintruled notepaper, watermarked, now reduced by 3: some
assorted Austrian-Hungarian coins: 2 coupons of the Royal and Privileged
Hungarian Lottery: a lowpower magnifying glass: 2 erotic photocards
showing a) buccal coition between nude senorita (rere presentation,
superior position) and nude torero (fore presentation, inferior
position) b) anal violation by male religious (fully clothed, eyes
abject) of female religious (partly clothed, eyes direct), purchased by
post from Box 32, P. O. , Charing Cross, London, W. C. : a press cutting
of recipe for renovation of old tan boots: a Id adhesive stamp,
lavender, of the reign of Queen Victoria: a chart of the measurements
of Leopold Bloom compiled before, during and after 2 months' consecutive
use of Sandow-Whiteley's pulley exerciser (men's 15/-, athlete's 20/-)
viz. chest 28 in and 29 1/2 in, biceps 9 in and 10 in, forearm 8 1/2 in
and 9 in, thigh 10 in and 12 in, calf 11 in and 12 in: 1 prospectus of
The Wonderworker, the world's greatest remedy for rectal complaints,
direct from Wonderworker, Coventry House, South Place, London E C,
addressed (erroneously) to Mrs L. Bloom with brief accompanying note
commencing (erroneously): Dear Madam.


Quote the textual terms in which the prospectus claimed advantages for
this thaumaturgic remedy.

It heals and soothes while you sleep, in case of trouble in breaking
wind, assists nature in the most formidable way, insuring instant relief
in discharge of gases, keeping parts clean and free natural action, an
initial outlay of 7/6 making a new man of you and life worth living.
Ladies find Wonderworker especially useful, a pleasant surprise when
they note delightful result like a cool drink of fresh spring water on
a sultry summer's day. Recommend it to your lady and gentlemen friends,
lasts a lifetime. Insert long round end. Wonderworker.


Were there testimonials?

Numerous. From clergyman, British naval officer, wellknown author, city
man, hospital nurse, lady, mother of five, absentminded beggar.


How did absentminded beggar's concluding testimonial conclude?

What a pity the government did not supply our men with wonderworkers
during the South African campaign! What a relief it would have been!


What object did Bloom add to this collection of objects?

A 4th typewritten letter received by Henry Flower (let H. F. be L. B. )
from Martha Clifford (find M. C. ).


What pleasant reflection accompanied this action?

The reflection that, apart from the letter in question, his magnetic
face, form and address had been favourably received during the course of
the preceding day by a wife (Mrs Josephine Breen, born Josie Powell),
a nurse, Miss Callan (Christian name unknown), a maid, Gertrude (Gerty,
family name unknown).


What possibility suggested itself?

The possibility of exercising virile power of fascination in the not
immediate future after an expensive repast in a private apartment in
the company of an elegant courtesan, of corporal beauty, moderately
mercenary, variously instructed, a lady by origin.


What did the 2nd drawer contain?

Documents: the birth certificate of Leopold Paula Bloom: an endowment
assurance policy of 500 pounds in the Scottish Widows' Assurance
Society, intestated Millicent (Milly) Bloom, coming into force at 25
years as with profit policy of 430 pounds, 462/10/0 and 500 pounds at
60 years or death, 65 years or death and death, respectively, or
with profit policy (paidup) of 299/10/0 together with cash payment of
133/10/0, at option: a bank passbook issued by the Ulster Bank, College
Green branch showing statement of a/c for halfyear ending 31 December
1903, balance in depositor's favour: 18/14/6 (eighteen pounds, fourteen
shillings and sixpence, sterling), net personalty: certificate of
possession of 900 pounds, Canadian 4 percent (inscribed) government
stock (free of stamp duty): dockets of the Catholic Cemeteries'
(Glasnevin) Committee, relative to a graveplot purchased: a local press
cutting concerning change of name by deedpoll.


Quote the textual terms of this notice.

I, Rudolph Virag, now resident at no 52 Clanbrassil street, Dublin,
formerly of Szombathely in the kingdom of Hungary, hereby give notice
that I have assumed and intend henceforth upon all occasions and at all
times to be known by the name of Rudolph Bloom.


What other objects relative to Rudolph Bloom (born Virag) were in the
2nd drawer?

An indistinct daguerreotype of Rudolf Virag and his father Leopold
Virag executed in the year 1852 in the portrait atelier of their
(respectively) 1st and 2nd cousin, Stefan Virag of Szesfehervar,
Hungary. An ancient haggadah book in which a pair of hornrimmed convex
spectacles inserted marked the passage of thanksgiving in the ritual
prayers for Pessach (Passover): a photocard of the Queen's Hotel,
Ennis, proprietor, Rudolph Bloom: an envelope addressed: _To My Dear Son
Leopold_.


What fractions of phrases did the lecture of those five whole words
evoke?

Tomorrow will be a week that I received. . . it is no use Leopold to be
. . . with your dear mother. . . that is not more to stand. . . to her. . .
all for me is out. . . be kind to Athos, Leopold. . . my dear son. . .
always. . . of me. . . _das Herz. . . Gott. . . dein_. . .


What reminiscences of a human subject suffering from progressive
melancholia did these objects evoke in Bloom?

An old man, widower, unkempt of hair, in bed, with head covered,
sighing: an infirm dog, Athos: aconite, resorted to by increasing doses
of grains and scruples as a palliative of recrudescent neuralgia: the
face in death of a septuagenarian, suicide by poison.


Why did Bloom experience a sentiment of remorse?

Because in immature impatience he had treated with disrespect certain
beliefs and practices.


As?

The prohibition of the use of fleshmeat and milk at one meal: the
hebdomadary symposium of incoordinately abstract, perfervidly concrete
mercantile coexreligionist excompatriots: the circumcision of
male infants: the supernatural character of Judaic scripture: the
ineffability of the tetragrammaton: the sanctity of the sabbath.


How did these beliefs and practices now appear to him?

Not more rational than they had then appeared, not less rational than
other beliefs and practices now appeared.


What first reminiscence had he of Rudolph Bloom (deceased)?

Rudolph Bloom (deceased) narrated to his son Leopold Bloom (aged 6) a
retrospective arrangement of migrations and settlements in and between
Dublin, London, Florence, Milan, Vienna, Budapest, Szombathely with
statements of satisfaction (his grandfather having seen Maria Theresia,
empress of Austria, queen of Hungary), with commercial advice (having
taken care of pence, the pounds having taken care of themselves).
Leopold Bloom (aged 6) had accompanied these narrations by constant
consultation of a geographical map of Europe (political) and by
suggestions for the establishment of affiliated business premises in the
various centres mentioned.


Had time equally but differently obliterated the memory of these
migrations in narrator and listener?

In narrator by the access of years and in consequence of the use of
narcotic toxin: in listener by the access of years and in consequence of
the action of distraction upon vicarious experiences.


What idiosyncracies of the narrator were concomitant products of
amnesia?

Occasionally he ate without having previously removed his hat.
Occasionally he drank voraciously the juice of gooseberry fool from an
inclined plate. Occasionally he removed from his lips the traces of food
by means of a lacerated envelope or other accessible fragment of paper.


What two phenomena of senescence were more frequent?

The myopic digital calculation of coins, eructation consequent upon
repletion.


What object offered partial consolation for these reminiscences?

The endowment policy, the bank passbook, the certificate of the
possession of scrip.


Reduce Bloom by cross multiplication of reverses of fortune, from which
these supports protected him, and by elimination of all positive values
to a negligible negative irrational unreal quantity.

Successively, in descending helotic order: Poverty: that of the outdoor
hawker of imitation jewellery, the dun for the recovery of bad and
doubtful debts, the poor rate and deputy cess collector. Mendicancy:
that of the fraudulent bankrupt with negligible assets paying 1s. 4d.
in the pound, sandwichman, distributor of throwaways, nocturnal vagrant,
insinuating sycophant, maimed sailor, blind stripling, superannuated
bailiffs man, marfeast, lickplate, spoilsport, pickthank, eccentric
public laughingstock seated on bench of public park under discarded
perforated umbrella. Destitution: the inmate of Old Man's House (Royal
Hospital) Kilmainham, the inmate of Simpson's Hospital for reduced but
respectable men permanently disabled by gout or want of sight. Nadir of
misery: the aged impotent disfranchised ratesupported moribund lunatic
pauper.


With which attendant indignities?

The unsympathetic indifference of previously amiable females, the
contempt of muscular males, the acceptance of fragments of bread,
the simulated ignorance of casual acquaintances, the latration of
illegitimate unlicensed vagabond dogs, the infantile discharge of
decomposed vegetable missiles, worth little or nothing, nothing or less
than nothing.


By what could such a situation be precluded?

By decease (change of state): by departure (change of place).


Which preferably?

The latter, by the line of least resistance.


What considerations rendered departure not entirely undesirable?

Constant cohabitation impeding mutual toleration of personal defects.
The habit of independent purchase increasingly cultivated. The necessity
to counteract by impermanent sojourn the permanence of arrest.


What considerations rendered departure not irrational?

The parties concerned, uniting, had increased and multiplied, which
being done, offspring produced and educed to maturity, the parties, if
not disunited were obliged to reunite for increase and multiplication,
which was absurd, to form by reunion the original couple of uniting
parties, which was impossible.


What considerations rendered departure desirable?

The attractive character of certain localities in Ireland and abroad,
as represented in general geographical maps of polychrome design or
in special ordnance survey charts by employment of scale numerals and
hachures.


In Ireland?

The cliffs of Moher, the windy wilds of Connemara, lough Neagh with
submerged petrified city, the Giant's Causeway, Fort Camden and Fort
Carlisle, the Golden Vale of Tipperary, the islands of Aran, the
pastures of royal Meath, Brigid's elm in Kildare, the Queen's Island
shipyard in Belfast, the Salmon Leap, the lakes of Killarney.


Abroad?

Ceylon (with spicegardens supplying tea to Thomas Kernan, agent for
Pulbrook, Robertson and Co, 2 Mincing Lane, London, E. C. , 5 Dame
street, Dublin), Jerusalem, the holy city (with mosque of Omar and gate
of Damascus, goal of aspiration), the straits of Gibraltar (the unique
birthplace of Marion Tweedy), the Parthenon (containing statues of nude
Grecian divinities), the Wall street money market (which controlled
international finance), the Plaza de Toros at La Linea, Spain (where
O'Hara of the Camerons had slain the bull), Niagara (over which no human
being had passed with impunity), the land of the Eskimos (eaters
of soap), the forbidden country of Thibet (from which no traveller
returns), the bay of Naples (to see which was to die), the Dead Sea.


Under what guidance, following what signs?

At sea, septentrional, by night the polestar, located at the point of
intersection of the right line from beta to alpha in Ursa Maior produced
and divided externally at omega and the hypotenuse of the rightangled
triangle formed by the line alpha omega so produced and the line alpha
delta of Ursa Maior. On land, meridional, a bispherical moon, revealed
in imperfect varying phases of lunation through the posterior interstice
of the imperfectly occluded skirt of a carnose negligent perambulating
female, a pillar of the cloud by day.


What public advertisement would divulge the occultation of the departed?

5 pounds reward, lost, stolen or strayed from his residence 7 Eccles
street, missing gent about 40, answering to the name of Bloom, Leopold
(Poldy), height 5 ft 9 1/2 inches, full build, olive complexion, may
have since grown a beard, when last seen was wearing a black suit. Above
sum will be paid for information leading to his discovery.


What universal binomial denominations would be his as entity and
nonentity?

Assumed by any or known to none. Everyman or Noman.


What tributes his?

Honour and gifts of strangers, the friends of Everyman. A nymph
immortal, beauty, the bride of Noman.


Would the departed never nowhere nohow reappear?

Ever he would wander, selfcompelled, to the extreme limit of his
cometary orbit, beyond the fixed stars and variable suns and telescopic
planets, astronomical waifs and strays, to the extreme boundary of
space, passing from land to land, among peoples, amid events. Somewhere
imperceptibly he would hear and somehow reluctantly, suncompelled, obey
the summons of recall. Whence, disappearing from the constellation of
the Northern Crown he would somehow reappear reborn above delta in the
constellation of Cassiopeia and after incalculable eons of peregrination
return an estranged avenger, a wreaker of justice on malefactors, a dark
crusader, a sleeper awakened, with financial resources (by supposition)
surpassing those of Rothschild or the silver king.


What would render such return irrational?

An unsatisfactory equation between an exodus and return in time through
reversible space and an exodus and return in space through irreversible
time.


What play of forces, inducing inertia, rendered departure undesirable?

The lateness of the hour, rendering procrastinatory: the obscurity
of the night, rendering invisible: the uncertainty of thoroughfares,
rendering perilous: the necessity for repose, obviating movement: the
proximity of an occupied bed, obviating research: the anticipation of
warmth (human) tempered with coolness (linen), obviating desire and
rendering desirable: the statue of Narcissus, sound without echo,
desired desire.


What advantages were possessed by an occupied, as distinct from an
unoccupied bed?

The removal of nocturnal solitude, the superior quality of human
(mature female) to inhuman (hotwaterjar) calefaction, the stimulation of
matutinal contact, the economy of mangling done on the premises in the
case of trousers accurately folded and placed lengthwise between the
spring mattress (striped) and the woollen mattress (biscuit section).


What past consecutive causes, before rising preapprehended, of
accumulated fatigue did Bloom, before rising, silently recapitulate?

The preparation of breakfast (burnt offering): intestinal congestion and
premeditative defecation (holy of holies): the bath (rite of John): the
funeral (rite of Samuel): the advertisement of Alexander Keyes (Urim and
Thummim): the unsubstantial lunch (rite of Melchisedek): the visit to
museum and national library (holy place): the bookhunt along Bedford
row, Merchants' Arch, Wellington Quay (Simchath Torah): the music in the
Ormond Hotel (Shira Shirim): the altercation with a truculent troglodyte
in Bernard Kiernan's premises (holocaust): a blank period of time
including a cardrive, a visit to a house of mourning, a leavetaking
(wilderness): the eroticism produced by feminine exhibitionism (rite of
Onan): the prolonged delivery of Mrs Mina Purefoy (heave offering):
the visit to the disorderly house of Mrs Bella Cohen, 82 Tyrone
street, lower and subsequent brawl and chance medley in Beaver street
(Armageddon)--nocturnal perambulation to and from the cabman's shelter,
Butt Bridge (atonement).


What selfimposed enigma did Bloom about to rise in order to go so as to
conclude lest he should not conclude involuntarily apprehend?

The cause of a brief sharp unforeseen heard loud lone crack emitted by
the insentient material of a strainveined timber table.


What selfinvolved enigma did Bloom risen, going, gathering multicoloured
multiform multitudinous garments, voluntarily apprehending, not
comprehend?

Who was M'Intosh?


What selfevident enigma pondered with desultory constancy during 30
years did Bloom now, having effected natural obscurity by the extinction
of artificial light, silently suddenly comprehend?

Where was Moses when the candle went out?


What imperfections in a perfect day did Bloom, walking, charged with
collected articles of recently disvested male wearing apparel, silently,
successively, enumerate?

A provisional failure to obtain renewal of an advertisement: to obtain
a certain quantity of tea from Thomas Kernan (agent for Pulbrook,
Robertson and Co, 5 Dame Street, Dublin, and 2 Mincing Lane, London E.
C. ): to certify the presence or absence of posterior rectal orifice in
the case of Hellenic female divinities: to obtain admission (gratuitous
or paid) to the performance of Leah by Mrs Bandmann Palmer at the Gaiety
Theatre, 46, 47, 48, 49 South King street.


What impression of an absent face did Bloom, arrested, silently recall?

The face of her father, the late Major Brian Cooper Tweedy, Royal Dublin
Fusiliers, of Gibraltar and Rehoboth, Dolphin's Barn.


What recurrent impressions of the same were possible by hypothesis?

Retreating, at the terminus of the Great Northern Railway, Amiens
street, with constant uniform acceleration, along parallel lines
meeting at infinity, if produced: along parallel lines, reproduced from
infinity, with constant uniform retardation, at the terminus of the
Great Northern Railway, Amiens street, returning.


What miscellaneous effects of female personal wearing apparel were
perceived by him?

A pair of new inodorous halfsilk black ladies' hose, a pair of new
violet garters, a pair of outsize ladies' drawers of India mull, cut on
generous lines, redolent of opoponax, jessamine and Muratti's Turkish
cigarettes and containing a long bright steel safety pin, folded
curvilinear, a camisole of batiste with thin lace border, an accordion
underskirt of blue silk moirette, all these objects being disposed
irregularly on the top of a rectangular trunk, quadruple battened,
having capped corners, with multicoloured labels, initialled on its fore
side in white lettering B. C. T. (Brian Cooper Tweedy).


What impersonal objects were perceived?

A commode, one leg fractured, totally covered by square cretonne
cutting, apple design, on which rested a lady's black straw hat.
Orangekeyed ware, bought of Henry Price, basket, fancy goods, chinaware
and ironmongery manufacturer, 21, 22, 23 Moore street, disposed
irregularly on the washstand and floor and consisting of basin, soapdish
and brushtray (on the washstand, together), pitcher and night article
(on the floor, separate).


Bloom's acts?

He deposited the articles of clothing on a chair, removed his remaining
articles of clothing, took from beneath the bolster at the head of the
bed a folded long white nightshirt, inserted his head and arms into the
proper apertures of the nightshirt, removed a pillow from the head to
the foot of the bed, prepared the bedlinen accordingly and entered the
bed.


How?

With circumspection, as invariably when entering an abode (his own or
not his own): with solicitude, the snakespiral springs of the mattress
being old, the brass quoits and pendent viper radii loose and tremulous
under stress and strain: prudently, as entering a lair or ambush of
lust or adders: lightly, the less to disturb: reverently, the bed of
conception and of birth, of consummation of marriage and of breach of
marriage, of sleep and of death.


What did his limbs, when gradually extended, encounter?

New clean bedlinen, additional odours, the presence of a human form,
female, hers, the imprint of a human form, male, not his, some crumbs,
some flakes of potted meat, recooked, which he removed.


If he had smiled why would he have smiled?

To reflect that each one who enters imagines himself to be the first to
enter whereas he is always the last term of a preceding series even if
the first term of a succeeding one, each imagining himself to be first,
last, only and alone whereas he is neither first nor last nor only nor
alone in a series originating in and repeated to infinity.


What preceding series?

Assuming Mulvey to be the first term of his series, Penrose, Bartell
d'Arcy, professor Goodwin, Julius Mastiansky, John Henry Menton, Father
Bernard Corrigan, a farmer at the Royal Dublin Society's Horse Show,
Maggot O'Reilly, Matthew Dillon, Valentine Blake Dillon (Lord Mayor
of Dublin), Christopher Callinan, Lenehan, an Italian organgrinder,
an unknown gentleman in the Gaiety Theatre, Benjamin Dollard, Simon
Dedalus, Andrew (Pisser) Burke, Joseph Cuffe, Wisdom Hely, Alderman John
Hooper, Dr Francis Brady, Father Sebastian of Mount Argus, a bootblack
at the General Post Office, Hugh E. (Blazes) Boylan and so each and so
on to no last term.


What were his reflections concerning the last member of this series and
late occupant of the bed?

Reflections on his vigour (a bounder), corporal proportion (a
billsticker), commercial ability (a bester), impressionability (a
boaster).


Why for the observer impressionability in addition to vigour, corporal
proportion and commercial ability?

Because he had observed with augmenting frequency in the preceding
members of the same series the same concupiscence, inflammably
transmitted, first with alarm, then with understanding, then with
desire, finally with fatigue, with alternating symptoms of epicene
comprehension and apprehension.


With what antagonistic sentiments were his subsequent reflections
affected?

Envy, jealousy, abnegation, equanimity.


Envy?

Of a bodily and mental male organism specially adapted for the
superincumbent posture of energetic human copulation and energetic
piston and cylinder movement necessary for the complete satisfaction of
a constant but not acute concupiscence resident in a bodily and mental
female organism, passive but not obtuse.


Jealousy?

Because a nature full and volatile in its free state, was alternately
the agent and reagent of attraction. Because attraction between agent(s)
and reagent(s) at all instants varied, with inverse proportion of
increase and decrease, with incessant circular extension and radial
reentrance. Because the controlled contemplation of the fluctuation of
attraction produced, if desired, a fluctuation of pleasure.


Abnegation?

In virtue of a) acquaintance initiated in September 1903 in the
establishment of George Mesias, merchant tailor and outfitter, 5 Eden
Quay, b) hospitality extended and received in kind, reciprocated and
reappropriated in person, c) comparative youth subject to impulses of
ambition and magnanimity, colleagual altruism and amorous egoism, d)
extraracial attraction, intraracial inhibition, supraracial prerogative,
e) an imminent provincial musical tour, common current expenses, net
proceeds divided.


Equanimity?

As as natural as any and every natural act of a nature expressed or
understood executed in natured nature by natural creatures in accordance
with his, her and their natured natures, of dissimilar similarity.
As not so calamitous as a cataclysmic annihilation of the planet in
consequence of a collision with a dark sun. As less reprehensible than
theft, highway robbery, cruelty to children and animals, obtaining money
under false pretences, forgery, embezzlement, misappropriation of public
money, betrayal of public trust, malingering, mayhem, corruption of
minors, criminal libel, blackmail, contempt of court, arson, treason,
felony, mutiny on the high seas, trespass, burglary, jailbreaking,
practice of unnatural vice, desertion from armed forces in the field,
perjury, poaching, usury, intelligence with the king's enemies,
impersonation, criminal assault, manslaughter, wilful and premeditated
murder. As not more abnormal than all other parallel processes of
adaptation to altered conditions of existence, resulting in a reciprocal
equilibrium between the bodily organism and its attendant circumstances,
foods, beverages, acquired habits, indulged inclinations, significant
disease. As more than inevitable, irreparable.


Why more abnegation than jealousy, less envy than equanimity?

From outrage (matrimony) to outrage (adultery) there arose nought but
outrage (copulation) yet the matrimonial violator of the matrimonially
violated had not been outraged by the adulterous violator of the
adulterously violated.


What retribution, if any?

Assassination, never, as two wrongs did not make one right. Duel by
combat, no. Divorce, not now. Exposure by mechanical artifice (automatic
bed) or individual testimony (concealed ocular witnesses), not yet. Suit
for damages by legal influence or simulation of assault with evidence of
injuries sustained (selfinflicted), not impossibly. Hushmoney by moral
influence possibly. If any, positively, connivance, introduction of
emulation (material, a prosperous rival agency of publicity: moral,
a successful rival agent of intimacy), depreciation, alienation,
humiliation, separation protecting the one separated from the other,
protecting the separator from both.


By what reflections did he, a conscious reactor against the void of
incertitude, justify to himself his sentiments?

The preordained frangibility of the hymen: the presupposed intangibility
of the thing in itself: the incongruity and disproportion between
the selfprolonging tension of the thing proposed to be done and the
selfabbreviating relaxation of the thing done; the fallaciously inferred
debility of the female: the muscularity of the male: the variations of
ethical codes: the natural grammatical transition by inversion involving
no alteration of sense of an aorist preterite proposition (parsed as
masculine subject, monosyllabic onomatopoeic transitive verb with direct
feminine object) from the active voice into its correlative aorist
preterite proposition (parsed as feminine subject, auxiliary verb
and quasimonosyllabic onomatopoeic past participle with complementary
masculine agent) in the passive voice: the continued product of
seminators by generation: the continual production of semen by
distillation: the futility of triumph or protest or vindication: the
inanity of extolled virtue: the lethargy of nescient matter: the apathy
of the stars.


In what final satisfaction did these antagonistic sentiments and
reflections, reduced to their simplest forms, converge?

Satisfaction at the ubiquity in eastern and western terrestrial
hemispheres, in all habitable lands and islands explored or unexplored
(the land of the midnight sun, the islands of the blessed, the isles of
Greece, the land of promise), of adipose anterior and posterior female
hemispheres, redolent of milk and honey and of excretory sanguine and
seminal warmth, reminiscent of secular families of curves of amplitude,
insusceptible of moods of impression or of contrarieties of expression,
expressive of mute immutable mature animality.


The visible signs of antesatisfaction?

An approximate erection: a solicitous adversion: a gradual elevation: a
tentative revelation: a silent contemplation.


Then?

He kissed the plump mellow yellow smellow melons of her rump, on each
plump melonous hemisphere, in their mellow yellow furrow, with obscure
prolonged provocative melonsmellonous osculation.


The visible signs of postsatisfaction?

A silent contemplation: a tentative velation: a gradual abasement: a
solicitous aversion: a proximate erection.


What followed this silent action?

Somnolent invocation, less somnolent recognition, incipient excitation,
catechetical interrogation.


With what modifications did the narrator reply to this interrogation?

Negative: he omitted to mention the clandestine correspondence between
Martha Clifford and Henry Flower, the public altercation at, in and
in the vicinity of the licensed premises of Bernard Kiernan and Co,
Limited, 8, 9 and 10 Little Britain street, the erotic provocation
and response thereto caused by the exhibitionism of Gertrude (Gerty),
surname unknown. Positive: he included mention of a performance by Mrs
Bandmann Palmer of LEAH at the Gaiety Theatre, 46, 47, 48, 49 South King
street, an invitation to supper at Wynn's (Murphy's) Hotel, 35, 36 and
37 Lower Abbey street, a volume of peccaminous pornographical tendency
entituled SWEETS OF SIN, anonymous author a gentleman of fashion, a
temporary concussion caused by a falsely calculated movement in the
course of a postcenal gymnastic display, the victim (since completely
recovered) being Stephen Dedalus, professor and author, eldest surviving
son of Simon Dedalus, of no fixed occupation, an aeronautical feat
executed by him (narrator) in the presence of a witness, the professor
and author aforesaid, with promptitude of decision and gymnastic
flexibility.


Was the narration otherwise unaltered by modifications?

Absolutely.


Which event or person emerged as the salient point of his narration?

Stephen Dedalus, professor and author.


What limitations of activity and inhibitions of conjugal rights were
perceived by listener and narrator concerning themselves during the
course of this intermittent and increasingly more laconic narration?

By the listener a limitation of fertility inasmuch as marriage had been
celebrated 1 calendar month after the 18th anniversary of her birth (8
September 1870), viz. 8 October, and consummated on the same date with
female issue born 15 June 1889, having been anticipatorily consummated
on the lo September of the same year and complete carnal intercourse,
with ejaculation of semen within the natural female organ, having last
taken place 5 weeks previous, viz. 27 November 1893, to the birth on 29
December 1893 of second (and only male) issue, deceased 9 January 1894,
aged 11 days, there remained a period of 10 years, 5 months and 18 days
during which carnal intercourse had been incomplete, without ejaculation
of semen within the natural female organ. By the narrator a limitation
of activity, mental and corporal, inasmuch as complete mental
intercourse between himself and the listener had not taken place since
the consummation of puberty, indicated by catamenic hemorrhage, of the
female issue of narrator and listener, 15 September 1903, there remained
a period of 9 months and 1 day during which, in consequence of a
preestablished natural comprehension in incomprehension between the
consummated females (listener and issue), complete corporal liberty of
action had been circumscribed.


How?

By various reiterated feminine interrogation concerning the masculine
destination whither, the place where, the time at which, the duration
for which, the object with which in the case of temporary absences,
projected or effected.


What moved visibly above the listener's and the narrator's invisible
thoughts?

The upcast reflection of a lamp and shade, an inconstant series of
concentric circles of varying gradations of light and shadow.


In what directions did listener and narrator lie?

Listener, S. E. by E. : Narrator, N. W. by W. : on the 53rd parallel
of latitude, N. , and 6th meridian of longitude, W. : at an angle of 45
degrees to the terrestrial equator.


In what state of rest or motion?

At rest relatively to themselves and to each other. In motion being each
and both carried westward, forward and rereward respectively, by the
proper perpetual motion of the earth through everchanging tracks of
neverchanging space.


In what posture?

Listener: reclined semilaterally, left, left hand under head, right
leg extended in a straight line and resting on left leg, flexed, in the
attitude of Gea-Tellus, fulfilled, recumbent, big with seed. Narrator:
reclined laterally, left, with right and left legs flexed, the index
finger and thumb of the right hand resting on the bridge of the nose, in
the attitude depicted in a snapshot photograph made by Percy Apjohn, the
childman weary, the manchild in the womb.


Womb? Weary?

He rests. He has travelled.


With?

Sinbad the Sailor and Tinbad the Tailor and Jinbad the Jailer and
Whinbad the Whaler and Ninbad the Nailer and Finbad the Failer and
Binbad the Bailer and Pinbad the Pailer and Minbad the Mailer and Hinbad
the Hailer and Rinbad the Railer and Dinbad the Kailer and Vinbad the
Quailer and Linbad the Yailer and Xinbad the Phthailer.


When?

Going to dark bed there was a square round Sinbad the Sailor roc's auk's
egg in the night of the bed of all the auks of the rocs of Darkinbad the
Brightdayler.


Where?