No More Learning

Say that, on examining the part, you feel
yourself unequal to it; that you find it requiring more exertion and
confidence than you can be supposed to have. Say this with firmness, and
it will be quite enough. All who can distinguish will understand your
motive. The play will be given up, and your delicacy honoured as it
ought. ”

“Do not act anything improper, my dear,” said Lady Bertram. “Sir Thomas
would not like it. --Fanny, ring the bell; I must have my dinner. --To be
sure, Julia is dressed by this time. ”

“I am convinced, madam,” said Edmund, preventing Fanny, “that Sir Thomas
would not like it. ”

“There, my dear, do you hear what Edmund says? ”

“If I were to decline the part,” said Maria, with renewed zeal, “Julia
would certainly take it. ”

“What! ” cried Edmund, “if she knew your reasons! ”

“Oh! she might think the difference between us--the difference in our
situations--that _she_ need not be so scrupulous as _I_ might feel
necessary. I am sure she would argue so. No; you must excuse me; I
cannot retract my consent; it is too far settled, everybody would be so
disappointed, Tom would be quite angry; and if we are so very nice, we
shall never act anything. ”

“I was just going to say the very same thing,” said Mrs. Norris.
“If every play is to be objected to, you will act nothing, and the
preparations will be all so much money thrown away, and I am sure _that_
would be a discredit to us all. I do not know the play; but, as Maria
says, if there is anything a little too warm (and it is so with most of
them) it can be easily left out. We must not be over-precise, Edmund. As
Mr. Rushworth is to act too, there can be no harm. I only wish Tom had
known his own mind when the carpenters began, for there was the loss
of half a day’s work about those side-doors. The curtain will be a good
job, however. The maids do their work very well, and I think we shall be
able to send back some dozens of the rings. There is no occasion to put
them so very close together. I _am_ of some use, I hope, in preventing
waste and making the most of things. There should always be one
steady head to superintend so many young ones. I forgot to tell Tom of
something that happened to me this very day. I had been looking about me
in the poultry-yard, and was just coming out, when who should I see but
Dick Jackson making up to the servants’ hall-door with two bits of deal
board in his hand, bringing them to father, you may be sure; mother had
chanced to send him of a message to father, and then father had bid
him bring up them two bits of board, for he could not no how do without
them. I knew what all this meant, for the servants’ dinner-bell
was ringing at the very moment over our heads; and as I hate such
encroaching people (the Jacksons are very encroaching, I have always
said so: just the sort of people to get all they can), I said to the boy
directly (a great lubberly fellow of ten years old, you know, who ought
to be ashamed of himself), ‘_I’ll_ take the boards to your father, Dick,
so get you home again as fast as you can. ’ The boy looked very silly,
and turned away without offering a word, for I believe I might speak
pretty sharp; and I dare say it will cure him of coming marauding about
the house for one while. I hate such greediness--so good as your father
is to the family, employing the man all the year round! ”

Nobody was at the trouble of an answer; the others soon returned; and
Edmund found that to have endeavoured to set them right must be his only
satisfaction.

Dinner passed heavily. Mrs. Norris related again her triumph over Dick
Jackson, but neither play nor preparation were otherwise much talked
of, for Edmund’s disapprobation was felt even by his brother, though
he would not have owned it. Maria, wanting Henry Crawford’s animating
support, thought the subject better avoided. Mr. Yates, who was trying
to make himself agreeable to Julia, found her gloom less impenetrable on
any topic than that of his regret at her secession from their company;
and Mr. Rushworth, having only his own part and his own dress in his
head, had soon talked away all that could be said of either.

But the concerns of the theatre were suspended only for an hour or two:
there was still a great deal to be settled; and the spirits of evening
giving fresh courage, Tom, Maria, and Mr. Yates, soon after their being
reassembled in the drawing-room, seated themselves in committee at a
separate table, with the play open before them, and were just getting
deep in the subject when a most welcome interruption was given by the
entrance of Mr. and Miss Crawford, who, late and dark and dirty as it
was, could not help coming, and were received with the most grateful
joy.

“Well, how do you go on? ” and “What have you settled? ” and “Oh! we
can do nothing without you,” followed the first salutations; and Henry
Crawford was soon seated with the other three at the table, while his
sister made her way to Lady Bertram, and with pleasant attention was
complimenting _her_. “I must really congratulate your ladyship,” said
she, “on the play being chosen; for though you have borne it with
exemplary patience, I am sure you must be sick of all our noise and
difficulties. The actors may be glad, but the bystanders must be
infinitely more thankful for a decision; and I do sincerely give you
joy, madam, as well as Mrs. Norris, and everybody else who is in the
same predicament,” glancing half fearfully, half slyly, beyond Fanny to
Edmund.

She was very civilly answered by Lady Bertram, but Edmund said nothing.
His being only a bystander was not disclaimed. After continuing in chat
with the party round the fire a few minutes, Miss Crawford returned
to the party round the table; and standing by them, seemed to
interest herself in their arrangements till, as if struck by a sudden
recollection, she exclaimed, “My good friends, you are most composedly
at work upon these cottages and alehouses, inside and out; but pray let
me know my fate in the meanwhile. Who is to be Anhalt? What gentleman
among you am I to have the pleasure of making love to? ”

For a moment no one spoke; and then many spoke together to tell the same
melancholy truth, that they had not yet got any Anhalt. “Mr. Rushworth
was to be Count Cassel, but no one had yet undertaken Anhalt. ”

“I had my choice of the parts,” said Mr. Rushworth; “but I thought I
should like the Count best, though I do not much relish the finery I am
to have. ”

“You chose very wisely, I am sure,” replied Miss Crawford, with a
brightened look; “Anhalt is a heavy part. ”

“_The_ _Count_ has two-and-forty speeches,” returned Mr. Rushworth,
“which is no trifle. ”

“I am not at all surprised,” said Miss Crawford, after a short pause,
“at this want of an Anhalt. Amelia deserves no better. Such a forward
young lady may well frighten the men. ”

“I should be but too happy in taking the part, if it were possible,”
cried Tom; “but, unluckily, the Butler and Anhalt are in together. I
will not entirely give it up, however; I will try what can be done--I
will look it over again. ”

“Your _brother_ should take the part,” said Mr. Yates, in a low voice.
“Do not you think he would? ”

“_I_ shall not ask him,” replied Tom, in a cold, determined manner.

Miss Crawford talked of something else, and soon afterwards rejoined the
party at the fire.

“They do not want me at all,” said she, seating herself. “I only puzzle
them, and oblige them to make civil speeches. Mr. Edmund Bertram, as
you do not act yourself, you will be a disinterested adviser; and,
therefore, I apply to _you_. What shall we do for an Anhalt? Is it
practicable for any of the others to double it? What is your advice? ”

“My advice,” said he calmly, “is that you change the play. ”

“_I_ should have no objection,” she replied; “for though I should not
particularly dislike the part of Amelia if well supported, that is, if
everything went well, I shall be sorry to be an inconvenience; but
as they do not chuse to hear your advice at _that_ _table_” (looking
round), “it certainly will not be taken. ”

Edmund said no more.

“If _any_ part could tempt _you_ to act, I suppose it would be Anhalt,”
observed the lady archly, after a short pause; “for he is a clergyman,
you know. ”

“_That_ circumstance would by no means tempt me,” he replied, “for I
should be sorry to make the character ridiculous by bad acting. It
must be very difficult to keep Anhalt from appearing a formal, solemn
lecturer; and the man who chuses the profession itself is, perhaps, one
of the last who would wish to represent it on the stage. ”

Miss Crawford was silenced, and with some feelings of resentment and
mortification, moved her chair considerably nearer the tea-table, and
gave all her attention to Mrs. Norris, who was presiding there.

“Fanny,” cried Tom Bertram, from the other table, where the conference
was eagerly carrying on, and the conversation incessant, “we want your
services. ”

Fanny was up in a moment, expecting some errand; for the habit of
employing her in that way was not yet overcome, in spite of all that
Edmund could do.

“Oh! we do not want to disturb you from your seat. We do not want your
_present_ services. We shall only want you in our play. You must be
Cottager’s wife. ”

“Me! ” cried Fanny, sitting down again with a most frightened look.
“Indeed you must excuse me. I could not act anything if you were to give
me the world. No, indeed, I cannot act. ”

“Indeed, but you must, for we cannot excuse you. It need not frighten
you: it is a nothing of a part, a mere nothing, not above half a dozen
speeches altogether, and it will not much signify if nobody hears a word
you say; so you may be as creep-mouse as you like, but we must have you
to look at. ”

“If you are afraid of half a dozen speeches,” cried Mr. Rushworth, “what
would you do with such a part as mine? I have forty-two to learn. ”

“It is not that I am afraid of learning by heart,” said Fanny, shocked
to find herself at that moment the only speaker in the room, and to feel
that almost every eye was upon her; “but I really cannot act. ”

“Yes, yes, you can act well enough for _us_. Learn your part, and we
will teach you all the rest. You have only two scenes, and as I shall
be Cottager, I’ll put you in and push you about, and you will do it very
well, I’ll answer for it. ”

“No, indeed, Mr. Bertram, you must excuse me. You cannot have an idea.
It would be absolutely impossible for me. If I were to undertake it, I
should only disappoint you. ”

“Phoo! Phoo! Do not be so shamefaced. You’ll do it very well. Every
allowance will be made for you. We do not expect perfection. You must
get a brown gown, and a white apron, and a mob cap, and we must make
you a few wrinkles, and a little of the crowsfoot at the corner of your
eyes, and you will be a very proper, little old woman. ”

“You must excuse me, indeed you must excuse me,” cried Fanny, growing
more and more red from excessive agitation, and looking distressfully
at Edmund, who was kindly observing her; but unwilling to exasperate
his brother by interference, gave her only an encouraging smile. Her
entreaty had no effect on Tom: he only said again what he had said
before; and it was not merely Tom, for the requisition was now backed by
Maria, and Mr. Crawford, and Mr. Yates, with an urgency which differed
from his but in being more gentle or more ceremonious, and which
altogether was quite overpowering to Fanny; and before she could breathe
after it, Mrs. Norris completed the whole by thus addressing her in a
whisper at once angry and audible--“What a piece of work here is about
nothing: I am quite ashamed of you, Fanny, to make such a difficulty of
obliging your cousins in a trifle of this sort--so kind as they are to
you! Take the part with a good grace, and let us hear no more of the
matter, I entreat. ”

“Do not urge her, madam,” said Edmund. “It is not fair to urge her
in this manner. You see she does not like to act. Let her chuse for
herself, as well as the rest of us. Her judgment may be quite as safely
trusted. Do not urge her any more. ”

“I am not going to urge her,” replied Mrs. Norris sharply; “but I shall
think her a very obstinate, ungrateful girl, if she does not do what her
aunt and cousins wish her--very ungrateful, indeed, considering who and
what she is. ”

Edmund was too angry to speak; but Miss Crawford, looking for a moment
with astonished eyes at Mrs. Norris, and then at Fanny, whose tears were
beginning to shew themselves, immediately said, with some keenness, “I
do not like my situation: this _place_ is too hot for me,” and moved
away her chair to the opposite side of the table, close to Fanny, saying
to her, in a kind, low whisper, as she placed herself, “Never mind,
my dear Miss Price, this is a cross evening: everybody is cross and
teasing, but do not let us mind them”; and with pointed attention
continued to talk to her and endeavour to raise her spirits, in spite of
being out of spirits herself. By a look at her brother she prevented any
farther entreaty from the theatrical board, and the really good feelings
by which she was almost purely governed were rapidly restoring her to
all the little she had lost in Edmund’s favour.

Fanny did not love Miss Crawford; but she felt very much obliged to her
for her present kindness; and when, from taking notice of her work,
and wishing _she_ could work as well, and begging for the pattern, and
supposing Fanny was now preparing for her _appearance_, as of course she
would come out when her cousin was married, Miss Crawford proceeded to
inquire if she had heard lately from her brother at sea, and said that
she had quite a curiosity to see him, and imagined him a very fine young
man, and advised Fanny to get his picture drawn before he went to sea
again--she could not help admitting it to be very agreeable flattery, or
help listening, and answering with more animation than she had intended.

The consultation upon the play still went on, and Miss Crawford’s
attention was first called from Fanny by Tom Bertram’s telling her,
with infinite regret, that he found it absolutely impossible for him to
undertake the part of Anhalt in addition to the Butler: he had been most
anxiously trying to make it out to be feasible, but it would not do;
he must give it up. “But there will not be the smallest difficulty in
filling it,” he added. “We have but to speak the word; we may pick and
chuse. I could name, at this moment, at least six young men within six
miles of us, who are wild to be admitted into our company, and there are
one or two that would not disgrace us: I should not be afraid to trust
either of the Olivers or Charles Maddox. Tom Oliver is a very clever
fellow, and Charles Maddox is as gentlemanlike a man as you will see
anywhere, so I will take my horse early to-morrow morning and ride over
to Stoke, and settle with one of them. ”

While he spoke, Maria was looking apprehensively round at Edmund in full
expectation that he must oppose such an enlargement of the plan as this:
so contrary to all their first protestations; but Edmund said nothing.
After a moment’s thought, Miss Crawford calmly replied, “As far as I
am concerned, I can have no objection to anything that you all think
eligible. Have I ever seen either of the gentlemen? Yes, Mr. Charles
Maddox dined at my sister’s one day, did not he, Henry? A quiet-looking
young man. I remember him. Let _him_ be applied to, if you please, for
it will be less unpleasant to me than to have a perfect stranger. ”

Charles Maddox was to be the man. Tom repeated his resolution of going
to him early on the morrow; and though Julia, who had scarcely opened
her lips before, observed, in a sarcastic manner, and with a glance
first at Maria and then at Edmund, that “the Mansfield theatricals would
enliven the whole neighbourhood exceedingly,” Edmund still held his
peace, and shewed his feelings only by a determined gravity.

“I am not very sanguine as to our play,” said Miss Crawford, in an
undervoice to Fanny, after some consideration; “and I can tell Mr.
Maddox that I shall shorten some of _his_ speeches, and a great many of
_my_ _own_, before we rehearse together. It will be very disagreeable,
and by no means what I expected. ”



CHAPTER XVI

It was not in Miss Crawford’s power to talk Fanny into any real
forgetfulness of what had passed. When the evening was over, she went to
bed full of it, her nerves still agitated by the shock of such an attack
from her cousin Tom, so public and so persevered in, and her spirits
sinking under her aunt’s unkind reflection and reproach. To be called
into notice in such a manner, to hear that it was but the prelude to
something so infinitely worse, to be told that she must do what was
so impossible as to act; and then to have the charge of obstinacy and
ingratitude follow it, enforced with such a hint at the dependence
of her situation, had been too distressing at the time to make the
remembrance when she was alone much less so, especially with the
superadded dread of what the morrow might produce in continuation of the
subject. Miss Crawford had protected her only for the time; and if
she were applied to again among themselves with all the authoritative
urgency that Tom and Maria were capable of, and Edmund perhaps away,
what should she do? She fell asleep before she could answer the
question, and found it quite as puzzling when she awoke the next
morning. The little white attic, which had continued her sleeping-room
ever since her first entering the family, proving incompetent to suggest
any reply, she had recourse, as soon as she was dressed, to another
apartment more spacious and more meet for walking about in and thinking,
and of which she had now for some time been almost equally mistress. It
had been their school-room; so called till the Miss Bertrams would not
allow it to be called so any longer, and inhabited as such to a later
period. There Miss Lee had lived, and there they had read and written,
and talked and laughed, till within the last three years, when she had
quitted them. The room had then become useless, and for some time was
quite deserted, except by Fanny, when she visited her plants, or wanted
one of the books, which she was still glad to keep there, from the
deficiency of space and accommodation in her little chamber above: but
gradually, as her value for the comforts of it increased, she had added
to her possessions, and spent more of her time there; and having nothing
to oppose her, had so naturally and so artlessly worked herself into it,
that it was now generally admitted to be hers. The East room, as it had
been called ever since Maria Bertram was sixteen, was now considered
Fanny’s, almost as decidedly as the white attic: the smallness of the
one making the use of the other so evidently reasonable that the Miss
Bertrams, with every superiority in their own apartments which their own
sense of superiority could demand, were entirely approving it; and Mrs.
Norris, having stipulated for there never being a fire in it on Fanny’s
account, was tolerably resigned to her having the use of what nobody
else wanted, though the terms in which she sometimes spoke of the
indulgence seemed to imply that it was the best room in the house.

The aspect was so favourable that even without a fire it was habitable
in many an early spring and late autumn morning to such a willing mind
as Fanny’s; and while there was a gleam of sunshine she hoped not to be
driven from it entirely, even when winter came. The comfort of it in
her hours of leisure was extreme. She could go there after anything
unpleasant below, and find immediate consolation in some pursuit, or
some train of thought at hand. Her plants, her books--of which she had
been a collector from the first hour of her commanding a shilling--her
writing-desk, and her works of charity and ingenuity, were all within
her reach; or if indisposed for employment, if nothing but musing would
do, she could scarcely see an object in that room which had not an
interesting remembrance connected with it. Everything was a friend, or
bore her thoughts to a friend; and though there had been sometimes much
of suffering to her; though her motives had often been misunderstood,
her feelings disregarded, and her comprehension undervalued; though she
had known the pains of tyranny, of ridicule, and neglect, yet almost
every recurrence of either had led to something consolatory: her aunt
Bertram had spoken for her, or Miss Lee had been encouraging, or, what
was yet more frequent or more dear, Edmund had been her champion and her
friend: he had supported her cause or explained her meaning, he had told
her not to cry, or had given her some proof of affection which made
her tears delightful; and the whole was now so blended together, so
harmonised by distance, that every former affliction had its charm. The
room was most dear to her, and she would not have changed its furniture
for the handsomest in the house, though what had been originally plain
had suffered all the ill-usage of children; and its greatest elegancies
and ornaments were a faded footstool of Julia’s work, too ill done
for the drawing-room, three transparencies, made in a rage for
transparencies, for the three lower panes of one window, where Tintern
Abbey held its station between a cave in Italy and a moonlight lake in
Cumberland, a collection of family profiles, thought unworthy of being
anywhere else, over the mantelpiece, and by their side, and pinned
against the wall, a small sketch of a ship sent four years ago from the
Mediterranean by William, with H. M. S. Antwerp at the bottom, in letters
as tall as the mainmast.

To this nest of comforts Fanny now walked down to try its influence on
an agitated, doubting spirit, to see if by looking at Edmund’s profile
she could catch any of his counsel, or by giving air to her geraniums
she might inhale a breeze of mental strength herself. But she had more
than fears of her own perseverance to remove: she had begun to feel
undecided as to what she _ought_ _to_ _do_; and as she walked round the
room her doubts were increasing. Was she _right_ in refusing what was
so warmly asked, so strongly wished for--what might be so essential to a
scheme on which some of those to whom she owed the greatest complaisance
had set their hearts? Was it not ill-nature, selfishness, and a fear of
exposing herself? And would Edmund’s judgment, would his persuasion of
Sir Thomas’s disapprobation of the whole, be enough to justify her in a
determined denial in spite of all the rest? It would be so horrible to
her to act that she was inclined to suspect the truth and purity of her
own scruples; and as she looked around her, the claims of her cousins
to being obliged were strengthened by the sight of present upon present
that she had received from them. The table between the windows was
covered with work-boxes and netting-boxes which had been given her at
different times, principally by Tom; and she grew bewildered as to the
amount of the debt which all these kind remembrances produced. A tap at
the door roused her in the midst of this attempt to find her way to her
duty, and her gentle “Come in” was answered by the appearance of one,
before whom all her doubts were wont to be laid. Her eyes brightened at
the sight of Edmund.

“Can I speak with you, Fanny, for a few minutes? ” said he.

“Yes, certainly. ”

“I want to consult. I want your opinion. ”

“My opinion! ” she cried, shrinking from such a compliment, highly as it
gratified her.

“Yes, your advice and opinion. I do not know what to do. This acting
scheme gets worse and worse, you see. They have chosen almost as bad a
play as they could, and now, to complete the business, are going to ask
the help of a young man very slightly known to any of us.
This is the
end of all the privacy and propriety which was talked about at first.
I know no harm of Charles Maddox; but the excessive intimacy which
must spring from his being admitted among us in this manner is highly
objectionable, the _more_ than intimacy--the familiarity. I cannot
think of it with any patience; and it does appear to me an evil of such
magnitude as must, _if_ _possible_, be prevented. Do not you see it in
the same light? ”

“Yes; but what can be done? Your brother is so determined. ”

“There is but _one_ thing to be done, Fanny. I must take Anhalt myself.
I am well aware that nothing else will quiet Tom. ”

Fanny could not answer him.

“It is not at all what I like,” he continued. “No man can like being
driven into the _appearance_ of such inconsistency. After being known to
oppose the scheme from the beginning, there is absurdity in the face of
my joining them _now_, when they are exceeding their first plan in every
respect; but I can think of no other alternative. Can you, Fanny? ”

“No,” said Fanny slowly, “not immediately, but--”

“But what? I see your judgment is not with me. Think it a little over.
Perhaps you are not so much aware as I am of the mischief that _may_, of
the unpleasantness that _must_ arise from a young man’s being received
in this manner: domesticated among us; authorised to come at all hours,
and placed suddenly on a footing which must do away all restraints. To
think only of the licence which every rehearsal must tend to create. It
is all very bad! Put yourself in Miss Crawford’s place, Fanny. Consider
what it would be to act Amelia with a stranger. She has a right to be
felt for, because she evidently feels for herself. I heard enough of
what she said to you last night to understand her unwillingness to be
acting with a stranger; and as she probably engaged in the part with
different expectations--perhaps without considering the subject enough
to know what was likely to be--it would be ungenerous, it would be
really wrong to expose her to it. Her feelings ought to be respected.
Does it not strike you so, Fanny? You hesitate. ”

“I am sorry for Miss Crawford; but I am more sorry to see you drawn in
to do what you had resolved against, and what you are known to think
will be disagreeable to my uncle. It will be such a triumph to the
others! ”

“They will not have much cause of triumph when they see how infamously I
act. But, however, triumph there certainly will be, and I must brave it.
But if I can be the means of restraining the publicity of the business,
of limiting the exhibition, of concentrating our folly, I shall be
well repaid. As I am now, I have no influence, I can do nothing: I have
offended them, and they will not hear me; but when I have put them in
good-humour by this concession, I am not without hopes of persuading
them to confine the representation within a much smaller circle than
they are now in the high road for. This will be a material gain. My
object is to confine it to Mrs. Rushworth and the Grants. Will not this
be worth gaining? ”

“Yes, it will be a great point. ”

“But still it has not your approbation. Can you mention any other
measure by which I have a chance of doing equal good? ”

“No, I cannot think of anything else. ”

“Give me your approbation, then, Fanny. I am not comfortable without
it. ”

“Oh, cousin! ”

“If you are against me, I ought to distrust myself, and yet--But it is
absolutely impossible to let Tom go on in this way, riding about the
country in quest of anybody who can be persuaded to act--no matter whom:
the look of a gentleman is to be enough. I thought _you_ would have
entered more into Miss Crawford’s feelings. ”

“No doubt she will be very glad. It must be a great relief to her,” said
Fanny, trying for greater warmth of manner.

“She never appeared more amiable than in her behaviour to you last
night. It gave her a very strong claim on my goodwill. ”

“She _was_ very kind, indeed, and I am glad to have her spared”. . .

She could not finish the generous effusion. Her conscience stopt her in
the middle, but Edmund was satisfied.

“I shall walk down immediately after breakfast,” said he, “and am sure
of giving pleasure there. And now, dear Fanny, I will not interrupt you
any longer. You want to be reading. But I could not be easy till I had
spoken to you, and come to a decision. Sleeping or waking, my head has
been full of this matter all night. It is an evil, but I am certainly
making it less than it might be. If Tom is up, I shall go to him
directly and get it over, and when we meet at breakfast we shall be all
in high good-humour at the prospect of acting the fool together with
such unanimity. _You_, in the meanwhile, will be taking a trip into
China, I suppose. How does Lord Macartney go on? ”--opening a volume on
the table and then taking up some others. “And here are Crabbe’s Tales,
and the Idler, at hand to relieve you, if you tire of your great book. I
admire your little establishment exceedingly; and as soon as I am
gone, you will empty your head of all this nonsense of acting, and sit
comfortably down to your table. But do not stay here to be cold. ”

He went; but there was no reading, no China, no composure for Fanny. He
had told her the most extraordinary, the most inconceivable, the most
unwelcome news; and she could think of nothing else. To be acting! After
all his objections--objections so just and so public! After all that she
had heard him say, and seen him look, and known him to be feeling. Could
it be possible? Edmund so inconsistent! Was he not deceiving himself?
Was he not wrong? Alas! it was all Miss Crawford’s doing. She had seen
her influence in every speech, and was miserable. The doubts and alarms
as to her own conduct, which had previously distressed her, and
which had all slept while she listened to him, were become of little
consequence now. This deeper anxiety swallowed them up. Things should
take their course; she cared not how it ended. Her cousins might attack,
but could hardly tease her. She was beyond their reach; and if at last
obliged to yield--no matter--it was all misery now.



CHAPTER XVII

It was, indeed, a triumphant day to Mr. Bertram and Maria. Such a
victory over Edmund’s discretion had been beyond their hopes, and was
most delightful. There was no longer anything to disturb them in their
darling project, and they congratulated each other in private on the
jealous weakness to which they attributed the change, with all the glee
of feelings gratified in every way. Edmund might still look grave, and
say he did not like the scheme in general, and must disapprove the play
in particular; their point was gained: he was to act, and he was driven
to it by the force of selfish inclinations only. Edmund had descended
from that moral elevation which he had maintained before, and they were
both as much the better as the happier for the descent.

They behaved very well, however, to _him_ on the occasion, betraying no
exultation beyond the lines about the corners of the mouth, and seemed
to think it as great an escape to be quit of the intrusion of Charles
Maddox, as if they had been forced into admitting him against their
inclination. “To have it quite in their own family circle was what
they had particularly wished. A stranger among them would have been the
destruction of all their comfort”; and when Edmund, pursuing that idea,
gave a hint of his hope as to the limitation of the audience, they were
ready, in the complaisance of the moment, to promise anything. It was
all good-humour and encouragement. Mrs. Norris offered to contrive his
dress, Mr. Yates assured him that Anhalt’s last scene with the Baron
admitted a good deal of action and emphasis, and Mr. Rushworth undertook
to count his speeches.

“Perhaps,” said Tom, “Fanny may be more disposed to oblige us now.
Perhaps you may persuade _her_. ”

“No, she is quite determined. She certainly will not act. ”

“Oh! very well. ” And not another word was said; but Fanny felt herself
again in danger, and her indifference to the danger was beginning to
fail her already.

There were not fewer smiles at the Parsonage than at the Park on this
change in Edmund; Miss Crawford looked very lovely in hers, and entered
with such an instantaneous renewal of cheerfulness into the whole
affair as could have but one effect on him. “He was certainly right in
respecting such feelings; he was glad he had determined on it. ” And the
morning wore away in satisfactions very sweet, if not very sound. One
advantage resulted from it to Fanny: at the earnest request of Miss
Crawford, Mrs. Grant had, with her usual good-humour, agreed to
undertake the part for which Fanny had been wanted; and this was all
that occurred to gladden _her_ heart during the day; and even this, when
imparted by Edmund, brought a pang with it, for it was Miss Crawford to
whom she was obliged--it was Miss Crawford whose kind exertions were to
excite her gratitude, and whose merit in making them was spoken of
with a glow of admiration. She was safe; but peace and safety were
unconnected here. Her mind had been never farther from peace. She could
not feel that she had done wrong herself, but she was disquieted
in every other way. Her heart and her judgment were equally against
Edmund’s decision: she could not acquit his unsteadiness, and his
happiness under it made her wretched. She was full of jealousy and
agitation. Miss Crawford came with looks of gaiety which seemed an
insult, with friendly expressions towards herself which she could hardly
answer calmly. Everybody around her was gay and busy, prosperous and
important; each had their object of interest, their part, their dress,
their favourite scene, their friends and confederates: all were finding
employment in consultations and comparisons, or diversion in the playful
conceits they suggested. She alone was sad and insignificant: she had
no share in anything; she might go or stay; she might be in the midst
of their noise, or retreat from it to the solitude of the East room,
without being seen or missed. She could almost think anything would
have been preferable to this. Mrs. Grant was of consequence: _her_
good-nature had honourable mention; her taste and her time were
considered; her presence was wanted; she was sought for, and attended,
and praised; and Fanny was at first in some danger of envying her the
character she had accepted. But reflection brought better feelings, and
shewed her that Mrs. Grant was entitled to respect, which could never
have belonged to _her_; and that, had she received even the greatest,
she could never have been easy in joining a scheme which, considering
only her uncle, she must condemn altogether.

Fanny’s heart was not absolutely the only saddened one amongst them,
as she soon began to acknowledge to herself. Julia was a sufferer too,
though not quite so blamelessly.

Henry Crawford had trifled with her feelings; but she had very long
allowed and even sought his attentions, with a jealousy of her sister so
reasonable as ought to have been their cure; and now that the conviction
of his preference for Maria had been forced on her, she submitted to it
without any alarm for Maria’s situation, or any endeavour at rational
tranquillity for herself. She either sat in gloomy silence, wrapt in
such gravity as nothing could subdue, no curiosity touch, no wit amuse;
or allowing the attentions of Mr. Yates, was talking with forced gaiety
to him alone, and ridiculing the acting of the others.

For a day or two after the affront was given, Henry Crawford had
endeavoured to do it away by the usual attack of gallantry and
compliment, but he had not cared enough about it to persevere against a
few repulses; and becoming soon too busy with his play to have time for
more than one flirtation, he grew indifferent to the quarrel, or rather
thought it a lucky occurrence, as quietly putting an end to what might
ere long have raised expectations in more than Mrs. Grant. She was not
pleased to see Julia excluded from the play, and sitting by disregarded;
but as it was not a matter which really involved her happiness, as Henry
must be the best judge of his own, and as he did assure her, with a
most persuasive smile, that neither he nor Julia had ever had a serious
thought of each other, she could only renew her former caution as to
the elder sister, entreat him not to risk his tranquillity by too
much admiration there, and then gladly take her share in anything that
brought cheerfulness to the young people in general, and that did so
particularly promote the pleasure of the two so dear to her.

“I rather wonder Julia is not in love with Henry,” was her observation
to Mary.

“I dare say she is,” replied Mary coldly. “I imagine both sisters are. ”

“Both! no, no, that must not be. Do not give him a hint of it. Think of
Mr. Rushworth! ”

“You had better tell Miss Bertram to think of Mr. Rushworth. It may
do _her_ some good. I often think of Mr. Rushworth’s property and
independence, and wish them in other hands; but I never think of him. A
man might represent the county with such an estate; a man might escape a
profession and represent the county. ”

“I dare say he _will_ be in parliament soon. When Sir Thomas comes, I
dare say he will be in for some borough, but there has been nobody to
put him in the way of doing anything yet. ”

“Sir Thomas is to achieve many mighty things when he comes home,” said
Mary, after a pause. “Do you remember Hawkins Browne’s ‘Address to
Tobacco,’ in imitation of Pope? --

Blest leaf! whose aromatic gales dispense
To Templars modesty, to Parsons sense.

I will parody them--

Blest Knight! whose dictatorial looks dispense
To Children affluence, to Rushworth sense.

Will not that do, Mrs. Grant? Everything seems to depend upon Sir
Thomas’s return. ”

“You will find his consequence very just and reasonable when you see him
in his family, I assure you. I do not think we do so well without him.
He has a fine dignified manner, which suits the head of such a house,
and keeps everybody in their place. Lady Bertram seems more of a cipher
now than when he is at home; and nobody else can keep Mrs. Norris in
order. But, Mary, do not fancy that Maria Bertram cares for Henry. I
am sure _Julia_ does not, or she would not have flirted as she did last
night with Mr. Yates; and though he and Maria are very good friends, I
think she likes Sotherton too well to be inconstant. ”

“I would not give much for Mr. Rushworth’s chance if Henry stept in
before the articles were signed. ”

“If you have such a suspicion, something must be done; and as soon as
the play is all over, we will talk to him seriously and make him know
his own mind; and if he means nothing, we will send him off, though he
is Henry, for a time. ”

Julia _did_ suffer, however, though Mrs. Grant discerned it not, and
though it escaped the notice of many of her own family likewise. She had
loved, she did love still, and she had all the suffering which a warm
temper and a high spirit were likely to endure under the disappointment
of a dear, though irrational hope, with a strong sense of ill-usage.
Her heart was sore and angry, and she was capable only of angry
consolations. The sister with whom she was used to be on easy terms was
now become her greatest enemy: they were alienated from each other;
and Julia was not superior to the hope of some distressing end to the
attentions which were still carrying on there, some punishment to
Maria for conduct so shameful towards herself as well as towards Mr.
Rushworth. With no material fault of temper, or difference of opinion,
to prevent their being very good friends while their interests were
the same, the sisters, under such a trial as this, had not affection or
principle enough to make them merciful or just, to give them honour or
compassion. Maria felt her triumph, and pursued her purpose, careless of
Julia; and Julia could never see Maria distinguished by Henry Crawford
without trusting that it would create jealousy, and bring a public
disturbance at last.

Fanny saw and pitied much of this in Julia; but there was no outward
fellowship between them. Julia made no communication, and Fanny took
no liberties. They were two solitary sufferers, or connected only by
Fanny’s consciousness.

The inattention of the two brothers and the aunt to Julia’s
discomposure, and their blindness to its true cause, must be imputed to
the fullness of their own minds. They were totally preoccupied. Tom was
engrossed by the concerns of his theatre, and saw nothing that did not
immediately relate to it. Edmund, between his theatrical and his real
part, between Miss Crawford’s claims and his own conduct, between love
and consistency, was equally unobservant; and Mrs. Norris was too busy
in contriving and directing the general little matters of the company,
superintending their various dresses with economical expedient, for
which nobody thanked her, and saving, with delighted integrity, half
a crown here and there to the absent Sir Thomas, to have leisure for
watching the behaviour, or guarding the happiness of his daughters.



CHAPTER XVIII

Everything was now in a regular train: theatre, actors, actresses, and
dresses, were all getting forward; but though no other great impediments
arose, Fanny found, before many days were past, that it was not all
uninterrupted enjoyment to the party themselves, and that she had not to
witness the continuance of such unanimity and delight as had been almost
too much for her at first. Everybody began to have their vexation.
Edmund had many. Entirely against _his_ judgment, a scene-painter
arrived from town, and was at work, much to the increase of the
expenses, and, what was worse, of the eclat of their proceedings; and
his brother, instead of being really guided by him as to the privacy of
the representation, was giving an invitation to every family who came
in his way. Tom himself began to fret over the scene-painter’s slow
progress, and to feel the miseries of waiting. He had learned his
part--all his parts, for he took every trifling one that could be united
with the Butler, and began to be impatient to be acting; and every day
thus unemployed was tending to increase his sense of the insignificance
of all his parts together, and make him more ready to regret that some
other play had not been chosen.

Fanny, being always a very courteous listener, and often the only
listener at hand, came in for the complaints and the distresses of
most of them. _She_ knew that Mr. Yates was in general thought to rant
dreadfully; that Mr. Yates was disappointed in Henry Crawford; that
Tom Bertram spoke so quick he would be unintelligible; that Mrs. Grant
spoiled everything by laughing; that Edmund was behindhand with his
part, and that it was misery to have anything to do with Mr. Rushworth,
who was wanting a prompter through every speech. She knew, also, that
poor Mr. Rushworth could seldom get anybody to rehearse with him: _his_
complaint came before her as well as the rest; and so decided to her
eye was her cousin Maria’s avoidance of him, and so needlessly often the
rehearsal of the first scene between her and Mr. Crawford, that she had
soon all the terror of other complaints from _him_. So far from being
all satisfied and all enjoying, she found everybody requiring something
they had not, and giving occasion of discontent to the others. Everybody
had a part either too long or too short; nobody would attend as they
ought; nobody would remember on which side they were to come in; nobody
but the complainer would observe any directions.